Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

rhymes from a stormy mind

have thy seen the one who thou art.

it is nothing but a shadow.

from the one whose eyes i yearn for.

yet there's nowhere i can hide.

yet there's nowhere i can go.

(it's not funny, is it?)

Has the storm in thy mind stopped.

or does it rage on?

as the winds blow you from those tiles of marble of yours?

perhaps it was destiny,

the one who guided you to the shore in which we met

the day i told you you were Raw.

(it's hard to dig deeper than this)

so, has the light which from thy eyes come out

assuaged your cracked back,

which from the night has not recovered yet

and will not let you pack,

for your things too heavy lie,

on marble broken tiles,

alas, without them you will,

from darkness run the miles.

After the eye of the storm

why is my head a mess

why is there so much noise inside my eyes,

("warlock" they call me) 

i scream yet the breath only comes in, and not out as i wish it did. 

(i hate it so much)

(it's never quiet is it?)

(i just want quiet)

Oh wind,

let me flow through your currents,

no, do not let me drown in the blood

which pours from every part of my skin

(don't pay attention to it)

and eyes

(just details)

and mouth

("witch" i wish to hear)

and heart

(don't be silly, dear)

and ears

(don't listen to them)

(they're not like you)

(they're normal)

please do not leave me behind

(you're the one leaving me)

i only wish for that which i cannot have

(you've had it, but you always forget)

(try to be more grateful)

(the world loves you, why do you feel thus)

and peace is what i call it.

(hypocrisy, the only thing i hear)

(that mouth of yours)

(it will be your end)

the last light fell

and from the sky it came

(but i'm neither)

i cannot lie

(liar)

it frightens me quite a bit

but even then it does not let me go 

(you don't forget)

from it's grip which reminds me of death

and madness which in a mirror i've seen

(don't look in the mirror)

(just go to sleep)

(please don't tell them)

(i need noise)

(so i don't hear it anymore)

yet there's only dark

which in my chest yet remains,

(in your heart)

and even when i try to get rid of it,

(but i'm neither)

it won't go

just as a bloody rust brown

which from my shirt won't come off,

and which won't quiet even when i ask,

for it is my fault for pushing it too hard

and it knows i deserve the pain.

(i'm just magic)

Chapter Text

beach-bound

i once walked the earth,

as a fallen star

and i was tasked with

counting sand.

i felt quite diluted

as ink in the sea

or sugar in tea

which i loved to deny that i drank.

lies by omission

i hide in the shade, like a creature of dark

no light ever reaches me, but there's fire inside

i am not like your kin, disgusting indeed

certainly forgotten by reflections of me

i cannot walk forward, for a nightmare this is

where im only dragged backwards, untrue to myself

rusty nails

take my skin
make some parchment
take my skin
write somethings
take my skin
taste the freedom
take my skin
make me scream

Chapter Text

Perfume

Perfume to hide smell

It is rose scented

Truly sweet and nice

Like a melody you know

But there is a discordant note

Something wrong

Something bad

Get closer to it and smell the truth

Sulfur smoke and rotten eggs

The rats can clearly see

There is something hidden

Something rotten in this room

A corpse hides underneath the linoleum

The marble lies magnificently

The gold is not quite right

The marble crumbly and weak

The floorboards of this house lie still

The rot permeates the air inside

I dislike it a great deal

Let it be known

Truly far and wide

Let the neighbours hear

The sick symphony

For the crone lies

The old man pretends

They deny my eyes the truth

It twists something in me

This wretch is a false painting

A forgery, a lie, a hidden truth

So let them all notice

The perfume does not cover

This ugly sight that i live. _______________________________________________

Explanation: This poem(?) Was written after someone said my room smelled of dust, like when a room is left to rot for a while,and decided to cover it up with perfume. I was and have been depressed for a long time, and wished that i could just come up and say it to all, to explain that it's not the room, its me that is rotten and broken. Alas, like all my poems, this ugly truth will die with me and maybe my closest confidantes.

_______________________________________________

Nappies!

Nappies, nappies
Nappies every day
In every week
At every hour
All day everyday
Just want a quick nappie
To rest my eyes a while
Is it so wrong to ask?

I dont wanna laugh
I dont wanna love
I dont wanna live
I just want nappies
To stay in bed all day
To stay in bed all night
It would all be easier
If i could do it like that

Tired, tired
Tired of all this shit
Is it really so hard?
To understand this feeling?
What i feel inside my bones
I feel it every minute
Of every hour
And every week 
And everyday
And every time i wish
For nappies to be eternal
Let me just go rest

__________________________________________

Explanation:
This poem(?) Was made when i realized i had procrastinated for 2 weeks and realized it might be too late to do my final project a class at university. I just cannot bring myself to care, to find enough energy to get out of bed, even when the dread is almost greater than my desinterest.
It makes me feel like a disappointment, like im worthless, like nothing. Which makes me want to just disappear

Dunno if i like or dislike the childish tone, rn i kinda hate it

(Also, is that how nappies is written?)