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Kakashi’s eyes gleam a corrosive yellow in the dim light of his hiding spot, glued to his target and unblinking.
It’s been years and his Master still looks as handsome as the day he left.
The last time Kakashi had seen Minato, the other man was unconscious on the floor, breathing deeply. He’d looked like something from a portrait, lying at Kakashi’s feet, sky blue irises hidden behind closed eyelids. Bodies were strewn around them, rivulets of blood running mere inches away from Minato’s collapsed form- splatters of the same scarlet fluid on Kakashi’s hands. On his arms, his clothes, the guard of his saber.
He’d killed for his teacher. Indiscriminately. Rage clouding his judgement so fully he hadn’t cared to differentiate the slaves from the slavers. All that mattered at the time was someone had collared Minato, pulled him harshly like a dog attached to a leash, and Kakashi’s wrath rose up- incandescent at the sight of it.
They were supposed to make a quieter escape. Find each other when night inevitably fell, possibly save some of the others who were captured knowing his Master’s bleeding heart, and then leave before anyone could notice.
It didn’t happen.
Tatooine’s twin suns were still high in the sky when the screaming started- so much screaming - but Kakashi couldn’t hear any of it over the rushing in his ears. He smelled the scent of burning flesh and kept bringing his lightsaber down like the loyal little hound he was trained by the Order to be.
Minato had been the only one to see more for him, the only one who bothered to see past the Council’s prodigious dog, the only one to take him in and teach him how to be instead of just what to do . Kakashi had lost his padawan braid years before they met but every time Minato teased him about his hair getting long, Kakashi would ask him to cut it just so he could pretend it was another thing that was theirs instead of the Order’s. Minato introduced him to Obito and Rin, his other students, and Kakashi loved them too. Loved them to the very last moment when the Council ordered Minato on an urgent suicide mission and left his padawans on a planet at the cusp of rebellion.
“We didn’t know, Kakashi.” “The information came to us late.” “A ship was sent to pick you up, we had no way of knowing it would never arrive.”
Blatant lies.
Obito had died covering their backs but not before one of the more telepathically inclined natives broke Rin’s mind so irreparably she’d begged Kakashi to kill her on the small cruiser they’d stolen just to get away from the thick of it. She’d cried so hard she shook and Kakashi, dragging Obito’s corpse from the newly-closed bay doors, had failed to stop her when she turned her saber on herself. Minato tore into the ship as soon as it landed on Coruscant and was met with the sight of Kakashi, kneeling before his two teammate’s bodies, frozen on the floor and staring at nothing.
The Order had failed them that day and Minato had forfeited his seat as soon as he learned that no cruiser was ever sent to retrieve his students.
“You were becoming too attached, Jedi Knight Namikaze. The Chosen One cannot afford to make such strong bonds.”
Kakashi hadn’t been there for that Council meeting, had been purposefully excluded, but Kurenai told him that she really thought Minato was going to murder Master Danzo right then and there. He’d scared her terribly when the words finally sunk in; Kakashi’s only reaction had been to laugh brokenly and reply, “ We really matter so little .” Kakashi stopped serving the Council the very next morning, serving only Minato instead- only ever Minato from then on. His teacher hadn’t allowed for them to be parted and Master Sarutobi saw the unspoken threat for what it was. Master Jiraiya had backed the decision and Danzo was silenced, outvoted.
“He should have been eviscerated” , Minato had whispered harshly into Kakashi’s hair after reuniting with his student, arms tight enough around the twelve year-old’s body to hold them both together. “ How Sarutobi-sensei let that man stay on the Council after the things he’s done, I couldn’t begin to understand.”
Kakashi had admittedly outgrown the Order’s teachings at ten and, after they essentially murdered Obito and Rin, he stopped owing them anything.
So he Fell.
It wasn’t exactly a hard choice. Looking back on it, he spared those slaves a life of torture and misery anyway.
Minato had looked beautiful afraid, blue eyes shining with unshed tears, radiating shock, horror, and… worry. Worry for Kakashi. Worry for what he’d become and what would become of him. Kakashi had cooed at him as he untied the older man. Because if Minato could still be worried about him, for him, then Minato still loved him. It was enough. He’d sent comfort and consolation through their fracturing bond and Minato wept at the feel of it, at the absence of regret, pawing weakly at Kakashi’s chest as if to reach inside and find the heart of him. Check if it still existed. Robes growing wet with his teacher’s tears, Kakashi laid a gentle kiss on Minato’s golden head and swiftly knocked him out to spare him the emotional turmoil. The older man’s body went lax and Kakashi caught him, held him there for a moment, the two of them shrouded in silence, breathing as one even as Minato slumbered. Kakashi had long memorized his Master’s weight, having held him on previous occasions after Minato had been injured saving him, and it was second-nature to cradle him in his arms. He’d only been fifteen when he left, late to start his growth spurts and still comparatively small to Minato’s twenty-one, but it felt right even then.
Ten years later and Kakashi knows from observation he’s finally caught up.
Minato isn’t wearing his cloak, arms-deep into the belly of the Hiraishin and needing full mobility to work on the delicate wiring of his favorite cruiser. The lightweight but excessive material had been divested of half an hour prior and was thrown over the far side of the table where Minato’s tools are laid out for his perusal.
Kakashi slinks into the private docking bay as silent as the grave. His steps are measured, deliberate, and the dark cloak settled over his own shoulders makes no noise as he crosses the distance between him and his old teacher. He settles in a nearby chair, one hand rising to lift Minato’s haphazardly thrown, white robe. Kakashi smells it gingerly at first, sniffing lightly at the scent of petrichor and something syrupy sweet. His next inhale is considerably deeper as old memories wash over him; memories of watching his sensei try the array of desserts each different planet and city would offer along the streets they perused together.
Years of practice are the only thing that keep the sudden wave of sentiment from carrying through their frayed bond.
Setting Minato’s robe back where he’d originally left it, Kakashi rests the majority of his weight against the back of his chair and coughs purposefully. Skilled as he is, Minato doesn’t yelp or jolt from the surprising sound, instead ceasing all movement and very cautiously sliding out from under the belly of his ship. Eyes a myriad of glowing yellow and orange take in tousled blonde locks sticking to a sweaty face. Minato’s features have always been the perfect mix of sharp slopes and soft, rounded cheeks, the graceful swoop of a nose and thin- typically smiling- lips. His Master’s breath stutters a moment, the bright sapphire of Minato’s eyes widening and focusing despite being clearly caught in a swirl of emotions.
All these years and the older man never did bother to hide his emotions from Kakashi, his side of the bond always open and honest long after their initial falling-out. Like Minato was holding out hope, holding out his arms, all too ready to welcome his wayward student back into the fold. Conversely, Kakashi never let Minato see anything he didn’t want, wrapping himself in shadows and veiling his thoughts and actions enduringly. Minato was serious about coming after him if Kakashi ever revealed anything about his current location and Kakashi hadn’t been prepared for it yet.
But the two of them are as alone as they can be here, in Hiraishin ’s private dock, and the world is as silent as their bond is loud.
Minato’s side flares with so many questions, so many emotions. Emotions Kakashi had come to realize no proper Jedi should have, let alone the Chosen One. Emotions guarded so closely- selfishly- because Minato was far from the perfect knight the Order had come to idolize and the stakes were too high for them to discover otherwise. It was probably one of the reasons they worked so well together, Kakashi was as unmoving in the Force as the blonde’s was erratic. Minato felt everything and was scarily-adept at managing it, whereas Kakashi’s periods of intense emotion were turbulent and so few in number that, when they came, they swallowed him whole.
Usually, Minato was unfailing in his ability to ground him. There was only one such imperfect mark on his record.
Out of all the things to Fall- out of all the reasons to swathe himself in the Force’s dark side- for Kakashi, it was love. Minato had offered him as much as an excuse, in that strangely nonverbal way bond-partners could communicate across the stars and Kakashi knew, from that very first year apart, that Minato had already forgiven him.
Love and protection, Kakashi. They’re as good a reason as any.
If only the Council had heard his sensei then, pardoning the vicious murders of his student-turned-Sith, they would have answered ‘ as traitorous an action as any .’ That night, Kakashi’s voice across the void turned especially caustic, hurting from the unexpected sting of Minato’s goodness reaching for him.
Curious that you fail to mention possession, Sensei. He’d laughed bitterly. I wanted to possess you as much as I wanted to protect you.
After a moment, as if spoken in a pleading whisper... Kakashi, come home.
Be mine, He’d bargained back, narrowing his eyes. Surrender everything to me, Sensei. All of you.
Minato met him with silence, his presence in the bond receding and Kakashi’s ensuing bout of hysteria was as anguished as it was amused. He’d shared one last line of thought in the silence.
I’m a Sith now, Minato. You can’t make excuses anymore. I deal in absolutes.
Their bond was quiet for three months after that affair. That was the last time he called Minato ‘sensei’.
“You look like something out of a dream.”
Minato gulps shallowly, rising from the ground slow and cautious- body poised to catch Kakashi should he bolt. “You dream of me in grease stains and sweating like a pig?”
“And if I did?” Kakashi’s voice is wry but his eyes belie tenderness. “You were always happiest tickering with Hiraishin . Watching you work was one of my fondest memories. I missed that- you .”
His ex-teacher’s face flinches minutely at the response, brows drawing together, a tiny crease forming at the corner of unsmiling lips. Kakashi longs to wipe Minato’s expression free of the stress and, as he rises from his seat in return, they’re close enough for him to do so. Surprisingly, Minato doesn’t shake the hand on his cheek loose, keeping his gaze locked with his long lost student’s.
“You chose to leave, Kakashi.”
“Let’s not pretend like I would be free to meet you now, unshackled, had I not done so.” His voice is low as he responds, unwilling to break the fragile peace between them by raising it any higher.
“It was an accident.”
Kakashi’s gaze softens even more, his thumb caressing Minato’s cheek in an attempt to offer comfort. “There were 203 people in that base, Minato. I killed all of them before making my way back to you. We both know it wasn’t.” A shaky breath answers him, Minato’s hands clenching into fists at his sides
“Why didn’t you stop? I wasn’t in any real danger, I kept screaming for you to come back, Kakashi. Why-” His voice breaks and Minato looks down, “why didn’t you stop?”
And this, it’s this part that he worries about. He prepares himself for Minato’s anger, his contempt- a reaction years in the making, a reaction he’s been bracing for. Because it’s something different for Minato to have watched him do what he did and another thing entirely for his old teacher to realize just how much he’d liked it. Kakashi’s words are whispered. “I didn’t want to.” He pulls forward steadily, planting a kiss on Minato’s temple.
And it’s true. He really didn’t want to spare anyone in that moment. As far as he’d been concerned, everyone on that base was at fault. And while the initial few kills were the product of blind rage, the rest hadn’t been. Kakashi’s superb control had kicked in by the time he made it to the hallway. Had he been anything less than finely-tuned, deadly efficiency, he might’ve flown to Coruscant and tried his hand at murdering the Council, drunk on the influence from the Dark. Had he earnestly tried, Kakashi might’ve even succeeded in killing Danzo, at the very least; he’d felt so powerful in the Force after that slaughter. Because they’d sent them on that mission, turned a blind eye to Danzo’s blatant attempts at getting rid of a ‘threat’ to the Order before it could amass. Because Minato was too powerful, his bond to Kakashi deemed a substantial risk as they only grew more attached after the loss of Obito and Rin, and the old man’s plots finally aligned.
Twice they’d been betrayed. Kakashi drew the line and stepped firmly to the other side.
When Minato had come back alone, jaded but somehow still in the Light, hands were washed and false apologies made. He never had the heart to tell Minato what he’d pieced together while in the throes of his murder-spree, had chosen instead to clamp down on his side of the bond, mind a steel trap against Minato’s pleading and searching. His first priority after cleaning up their surroundings of excess lifeforms had been Minato. Minato’s safety, Minato’s peace of mind.
Years later and they were still the only things that mattered.
He doesn’t ask for forgiveness, has never deserved it, but Minato has always worried excessively for the people he lets into his heart. And, as heavy as his disappointment would be to Kakashi, it would be far worse for himself.
Minato’s voice draws him out of his musings. “I wasn’t talking about the killing.”
Kakashi retracts his lips from his forehead, staring at the older Jedi in confused silence.
“You left.” Minato offers simply, by way of explanation.
Silver brows draw together in uncertainty. Their bond alights in sorrow and longing.
Why didn’t you just take me with you?
Kakashi’s thoughts come to a screeching halt and it feels like all the galaxy has stopped to observe the outcome of their conversation.
Oh.
Sensei.
“I would have forgiven you anything. I did .”
Kakashi struggles not to laugh and ultimately fails, some unseen pressure easing from his chest as his grip on Minato’s cheek falls to his nape and he draws the older male into a fierce hug. He feels like he hasn’t breathed in ten years, not since- if he’s reading Minato’s implications right- not since he made the wrong decision.
“Honestly, I didn’t think that was even an option at the time.”
To quote Obito: Bakakashi . Minato’s hands grip the back of his robes impossibly tight, cheek nudging the side of Kakashi’s head when the younger male responds with an aborted chuckle at the shared memory of a dear friend.
The twenty-five year-old’s knees feel weak as his entire weight settles into Minato’s arms and Kakashi doesn’t even care that his cloak has grease stains on it now. Wearing all black is handy like that but still . This..this is unexpected. More than he could have ever asked for. More than he could have ever dreamed.
He shakes his head to dispel some part of the dizzying cloud of happiness that relief brings him. Kakashi does owe Minato some semblance of an explanation after everything that’s happened. Even if, at the time and knowing what he did about Minato’s preferences now, he might’ve considered differently.
“The Force chose you. You couldn’t do what had to be done, not when the Light needed you so badly. Still needs.”
“I hardly think the Force chose me to stand idly by while rot set into the Council and Danzo’s values bled more and more into our Jedi teachings.”
“No, but you’re as shining an example for good as they have.” Kakashi lays a kiss on Minato’s eyelids, his cheeks, his nose. “You don’t need to worry anymore, Sensei. I took care of things.”
Minato’s expression shifts into a curious one at that, still so trusting, and Kakashi keeps his morbid laughter down and away from the sensitive edges of their healing bond. His sensei has always been acutely in-tune with the inner workings of Kakashi’s mindscape but years of deprivation keep Minato too occupied to find the pockets of information Kakashi has spent years teaching himself to hide, and hide well, if and when the day came that they could make reparations. There are some secrets he can’t share just yet, some secrets Minato has to learn on his own time. Kakashi makes sure to keep him busy with feelings of warmth, love, and longing instead.
Soon.
Cerulean eyes blink at him, lost and seeking answers.
What?
A wrinkle develops on the sun-browned surface of Minato’s nose, skin pinching together in consternation. Precious, he’s so precious. Kakashi really will do anything to keep him.
“What did you do?”
Kakashi holds Minato’s face close and speaks love a hairsbreadth from frowning lips.
“What the Force needed doing.”
Elsewhere, Chancellor Madara Uchiha sanctions the commencement of Order 66.