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Chapter Text

Rapunzel had always seen touching as a calculated risk.

It wasn't that Gothel had never touched her, or that she herself had never initiated contact - it was that it had never been a casual thing. When Gothel had touched her arm, or kissed her hair, or booped her nose, there had always been a hidden message behind it. Even as a kid, when Rapunzel had revelled in every inch of affection her mother had been willing to give her, she had understood pretty quickly her silent cues. Sometimes, touching her hair meant that Gothel wanted her to stop talking; sometimes, grabbing her arm was a command to do as Gothel said; sometimes, hugging her was a threat. Stay with mommy, Gothel would whisper in her ear as Rapunzel melted into the contact, you wouldn't want me to be heartbroken?

Of course, being raised by a manipulator, even if she hadn't exactly known it, meant that Rapunzel herself was often guilty of using touch as a mean to an end. A calculated risk - and Rapunzel was pretty good at calculating.

Though she tried very hard to be subtle about it, she had known what Gothel thought of contact - and had used it once or twice to her advantage. If her mother was too busy pushing her off her arm, she wasn't as focused on what Rapunzel was asking. If her mother was very mad about something, Rapunzel knew that making her hair brush against her skin was a sure way to distract her. Gothel had been a smart woman, who wasn't easily duped - but Rapunzel was smart too. Even if her strategies didn't work every time, it often helped her maintain the status quo.

Of course, everything changed once Rapunzel left her tower.

At first, she had thought that Eugene - well, Flynn at the time - used touch the same way she did: to get something in return. He did put a reassuring hand on her back when he had wanted to convince her to go back to the tower; he had pushed her further into the Snuggly Ducklings even though she was trying to back off…

And then, in the flooding cave, he had gently gotten her hair out of her face to look at her eyes and calm her down.

"Eugene Fitzherbert," he had said, a little and vulnerable smile on his lips, and Rapunzel had to rethink everything she thought she had understood about him, even as she revealed her biggest secret in return.

Touch, she learned that day, could simply be. It could be a hand on the small of her back, as she watched the little flag he had gifted her; it could be the pressing of his tights against hers, as they perused books together; it could be a hand on her cheek, as warm as the flames making the lanterns float, as he leant in to kiss her…

It could be that same hand, on her same cheek, this time colder and weaker and unable to hold itself up without her help as Eugene died in her arms.

When touching had been a matter of calcul, it had been easy - but touching Eugene was anything but easy. It was burning, it was new, it was painful and it was the best thing she had ever experienced. It was a hug she couldn't contain as he breathed again, it was him holding her hand when she was nervous…

It was love, given freely, unconditionally. Rapunzel couldn't help but be addicted.

But if Gothel had been cold and calculated, and Eugene was her polar opposite, Rapunzel soon understood that not everyone saw touching the same way. Rapunzel discovered the world, and just how wide it was, and, at the same time, she discovered people, in all their differences.

For example, her parents never refused a hug, but were obviously not as comfortable with it as she was. Now that she knew how good touch could be, Rapunzel couldn't help but crave it, hoping to catch up on years of lacking - and bear hugs were a personal favourite, even though it wasn't always welcomed.

Timing was also an important factor, and her father had to give her a talk about appropriate times for hugging (as in, not in the middle of a royal council). That was something she understood pretty well, actually, and didn't have much trouble assimilating after some mistakes along the way. There was still a part of calcul within all this touching business, even if people didn't want to admit it.

Except for Eugene. He never used touch as anything but what it was, however, Rapunzel learnt quickly that Eugene's touch was quite different from everyone else's.

Anyway, her biggest touching mystery had been, without a doubt, Cassandra.

"She told me she didn't like hugs," Rapunzel explained desperately to Eugene as she was, quite ironically, cuddling with him on her bed. "Is that normal?"

"Well, she is a dragon so- okay, okay," he laughed when she glared at him, "very serious issue here."

"It is to me."

"I know," he whispered, his grip on her waist tightening as he softened, "I didn't mean to make fun of you. As for your question, yes, there's plenty of people out there who are not tactile and who don't like hugs. I didn't like hugs before you!"

"That sounds like a lie," she snorted, "you're even cuddlier than I am."

Eugene gasped dramatically in mock-offense, and then tickled her to get back at her, and they kinda lost the point of the conversation between a laugh and a kiss.

"The thing is," Rapunzel explained to Pascal some time later, who was wearing his best focused face as he stood in her palms, "I know that Cassandra likes me. And I like her, a lot! Shouldn't touching bring her comfort?"

"It does," a voice that was decidedly not Pascal answered. Rapunzel startled badly, nearly throwing Pascal in the air in her panic, and turned to see Cassandra looking at her with raised eyebrows.

"Cass!"

"It does bring me comfort," she continued with a shrug, going to sit next to Rapunzel on her bed, "but only if it's when and where I want to be touched."

Rapunzel glanced down at Pascal, before meeting Cassandra's eyes. It was rare for Cass to talk so honestly to her, and Rapunzel didn't want this to end but, to be honest, she was pretty embarrassed to have been surprised by her friend.

"Listen Raps," Cassandra sighed, "I've never been too touchy-feely, but I swear that it's not against you. It's just how I am."

"I'm sorry," Rapunzel answered softly as Pascal climbed to her shoulder, "I- I guess that I never quite learned how to deal with my emotions and so, when I'm happy I just want to show it. But I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

"Well, I never had a friend like you, Princess. We'll both have to learn how to deal with the other," Cassandra smiled, even if her tone betrayed some kind of nervousness.

Rapunzel grinned, vibrating in place until Cass admitted that she wouldn't mind a hug right now - which resulted in her being tackled by an all too eager Rapunzel, who had waited for this occasion for quite a while now.

Touching was not, in fact, a calculated risk - at least it shouldn't be. Rapunzel understood that lesson quickly, but had a lot more trouble applying it. With Eugene, it was easy - most things were with him. Sometimes, when Rapunzel felt like she needed someone to hold her together, she knew she could run up to him and he would open his arms without an ounce of hesitation. Eugene wasn't scared of touching, wasn't scared of the risks that Rapunzel had spent her childhood being mindful of; he gave everything freely.

(Well. With Rapunzel mostly. But, through the years, she would see him hug Varian, Lance, Angry and Catalina, her parents, his father - and so on and so on - and she would know for sure that he was cuddlier than he liked to admit.)

However, Rapunzel herself tended to forget what it was really supposed to be. Sometimes, she surprised herself being the calculating one - hugging her father because she wanted something from him, or using touching as a way to distract someone and these- these were the worst moments. Sometimes, at night, when she felt particularly alone, she would worry that she was truly Gothel's daughter, that she would never escape her influence.

Those were bad days.

Then, in the morning, Eugene would notice that she seemed down - he would always notice, no matter how much she tried to hide it. And then, when they finally got a moment to themselves, he would hug her tight, not even bothering to make an excuse for it, and Rapunzel would feel better. She would remember what she gained, by leaving this tower and she would remember why, no matter what, she needed to keep on improving.

So, on those days, she hugged Eugene back and swore to herself that she would do better.

Chapter Text

It took a while before Rapunzel realised that she didn't know how to argue. There were two reasons for that: not many people were willing to seriously disagree with a recently returned crown Princess, and she had sincerely thought she was able to. She had argued before.

Well, it wasn't a recurring occurrence, of course. Rapunzel had learnt at quite a young age that disrespecting her mother could have grave consequences and, like most things, she quickly understood how to make her calm and happy. And that meant, most of the time, agreeing with her on little issues, if that helped keep the peace.

However, that didn't mean they had never argued before. Furthermore, if they hadn't argued about the lanterns - if Gothel hadn't grown tired of it enough for her to snap at Rapunzel the next time she brought it up - Rapunzel would have opened the door to her closet and shown her Eugene's unconscious body.

Today, thinking of that particular scenario made her want to be sick.

But, thankfully, they had argued. Thankfully, Gothel had snapped. Thankfully, Rapunzel didn't open the door. She left her tower, and discovered the world, the lanterns, Eugene, and then her family, and everything ended up fine. More or less.

"I forbid you for researching those black rocks," her father announced harshly, the moonlight highlighting his features, and Rapunzel surprised herself by repeatedly telling herself not to flinch.

Her father kept talking, and Rapunzel felt anger rise up in her for the first time in a long while, but her mouth was clamped shut and her fists so tightly closed she could feel the bite of her nails on her skin. She wanted to argue, to defend her choices, to ask him for clarification, but she barely managed a biting answer, before she fled back to her room.

Rapunzel didn't let herself question her reaction. She refused to do so, refused to revisit the cold dread that washed over her, the taste of ash in her throat as once again, she was made to feel small and inferior. She was fine. And her father only had the best intentions - that had to count, somehow.

Once is a chance. Twice is a coincidence.

Rapunzel was able to get angry. She was able to bicker with Cassandra when both of them had widely different opinions on how things should be. She screamed at a lot of people when Pascal disappeared and she considered it to be a sign of perfectly good mental health - see? She could get irrationally angry like anyone else.

Then, Varian betrayed her - though, in his words, she did it first.

"I committed treason for you!" she wanted to scream, but it didn't come out as half the exclamation she wanted it to be. Varian accused her of abandoning him and the protests rose in throat like bile, but she couldn't voice them properly, could barely move, and then he was gone.

Eugene came to comfort her later that day, but his warmth barely made a dent in the weird feeling that enveloped her since Varian left. She wanted to tell him about it - tell him how it felt to be frozen in time, watching your own body make clumsy mistakes that you knew were only furthering the problem, but she didn't.

"I don't know what he is anymore," she whispered, ignoring how she still wasn't sure of who she ever was herself - ignoring the heartbreak, the guilt, the righteousness and all these confusing feelings she had about Varian.

Eugene smiled softly that night, took her hands and saw right through her defenses. For once she was desperate to ask what he was seeing underneath it all. Could he see the anger vibrating through her, like a caged lion she would never be able to release? Eugene would tell her if she asked - he was always honest with her, and she nearly, nearly did it.

But she didn't. Neither did she question her reaction in the privacy of her bedroom. She took that anger, that growing, infesting, imprisoned anger, and knew she could never let it out. That anger, that threatened to explode when her father confined her to her room - she squished it as best as she could, because there were bigger problems and she was fine.

Once is a chance. Twice is a coincidence. Three times is a pattern.

Cassandra stole the moonstone. Rapunzel dried her tears and laughed, as if it was all a prank gone wrong. She discovered her parents had lost their memories, and Varian had joined the Saporians, and she smiled, because what was she, if not optimistic? She saw Cassandra's room and she broke down and cried, and in all of that time, she never allowed herself to acknowledge the growing fury in her heart.

If only she had found the right words. If only Cassandra had listened.

"I'm sad, mostly," Rapunzel lied, Eugene's eyes boring right through hers.

His hand caressed her cheek and she wanted to cry - no, better yet, she wanted to rage at how unfair it all was. She wanted to scream at Cassandra, shake her until she understood that she had never wanted this, but the words were stuck under her tongue and Cassandra wasn't there anyway. And Rapunzel was rational. She knew that this anger would only do her a disservice in the end, and so, she bottled it up.

Or at least, she tried - but Eugene wouldn't let her. He kept insisting that she needed to see Cassandra's actions for what they were, that she could want her friend back but she had to accept that Cassandra had done bad things and hurt her, insisted that she had to be at least a little mad-

Until she went to the past.

"Friends don't leave friends behind." The sentence was still echoing through her head, as she watched the sun set numbly. She couldn't forget the first rush of relief, as Eugene said it - couldn't forget that she had been happy that he would finally let her bottle everything up without pressing her to be honest, was relieved…

Was relieved that she had essentially manipulated her boyfriend to agree with her. What kind of monster did that?

Someone knocked, but she knew already who was here. "Hey Sunshine," Eugene smiled, going to sit beside her, and her eyes were burning already, "you're feeling okay?"

Friends don't leave friends behind. But Rapunzel didn't lie to Eugene either, and that - that was a pretty big lie.

"I'm sorry," she blurted out, ignoring his confusion, "I'm sorry, I haven't been honest with you, about Cassandra."

"Blondie-"

"No, no, don't comfort me," Rapunzel sniffed, and Eugene didn't pressure her into a hug. Eugene never pressured her to do things she didn't want to do. "I also- I also did something awful, and you need to listen to me before you make your opinion on it."

Eugene nodded, and so, Rapunzel talked. And, for the first time since she left her tower, she allowed herself to be really, truly mad at someone that she loved.

Eugene was understandably upset at the time manipulation, though, as he explained to her, it hadn't changed much, in the end - he had still been the same Flynn Rider when it counted. And, he found it really important that she hadn't meant to change anything. She wasn't sure it was enough to be forgiven, but Eugene still maintained that it mattered.

Then, Rapunzel mentioned Cassandra, and how she was so, so angry with her, even though she shouldn't be. They talked way into the night, and, despite her conflicting emotions, Rapunzel felt relieved.

And maybe her issues weren't fixed after one conversation; maybe she would still freeze up the next time she had to argue, maybe she would keep avoiding confrontation until it had bad consequences; but at least, there was progress. Sometimes, it was the most important thing.

Chapter Text

The discovery that probably surprised Rapunzel most when she left her tower, was that she was smart - smarter than the average person, in any case. Not that she thought herself especially slow but, without any other frame of reference than what Gothel had told her, she thought that she was nothing much, compared to her mother.

Despite the years, Rapunzel still remembered learning to read as a young child - mostly because she had been so bad at it. Mother had explained every letter painstakingly and yet, Rapunzel hadn't memorised them enough and messed up the next day. Mother had been upset, and that made her tired, and really Rapunzel, you'll be the death of me, don't you love me-

Rapunzel preferred books, anyway. Because she could read any information again and again, until she understood. And again, because she had nothing else to read. And again, and again, until she knew it by heart. She was also good at recognising patterns, and at creating new games and contraptions to spend the time. She hadn't thought much of it, really, until one of her tutors had noticed her skills and decided to go to her parents about it.

Apparently, not everyone had studied the movement of the stars like she did. And not everyone was as good as she was at adapting her knowledge to real life. Her parents had been exastic, and her tutors were happy to give her tougher subjects to study - which she was also happy to discover! Though, to her opinion, they were blowing this way out of proportion.

"I don't get what's the problem," Eugene said when she complained about it, "you're amazing! Of course they noticed that!" His sentence was punctuated by Pascal's loud squeak of affirmation.

Rapunzel smiled and rolled her eyes but, since she had her head in Eugene's lap, he didn't notice. She might have come straight from her lessons to the library, where she knew she would find him, before laying down on him and blurting out what was bothering her. She didn't regret it, though, because being with him helped her calm down a little. Honestly she was flattered that her tutors thought her to be a quick learner - she only wished they hadn't gone directly to her parents.

"I just had a lot of time on my hands," she finally answered as Eugene slowly stroked her hair, "but really, I'm-"

Slow, lazy, naive, a failure, a voice whispered in her mind, that sounded like a mixture of her own and Gothel's. She clamped her mouth shut and breathed deeply - she knew, now, that Gothel was a liar. She knew it upset a lot of people when she repeated those lies, so she was working hard not to do it.

She wasn't fooling Eugene, however, but he said nothing, waiting for her to be ready to talk. She sat up and he let her go easily, but she only did it to reposition herself in his arms, hiding her head in the crook of his neck. She felt his chest rising and falling with his breathing and, slowly, her tongue untied.

"I don't feel like I'm special, but everyone keeps saying I am," she murmured, and Eugene tightened his arms around her. She had a feeling he was trying hard not to assure her that she was indeed special, and she appreciated it. "There's so much I still don't know, and I'm worried- I'm worried that they'll be disappointed once they see me struggle if they expect too much of me."

"I think I get that," Eugene answered when it was obvious she wouldn't say more, "but I also think that the one putting the most pressure on you is yourself, Sunshine. Everyone is happy that you're adapting way faster than could be expected, but you're already worried about a failure you didn't make yet."

His words rang true, but she wasn't sure what to make of them. So she stayed silent, and he kept hugging her as long as she needed it, Pascal's weight on the top of her head another source of comfort.

For Rapunzel, failure had never been a possibility, but a certitude. No matter how hard she tried, how meek she was, how much she listened, she would always -always- do something to displease her mother. The only control she had over that was over the size of the actual failure, but her mother's constant disappointment still bit harshly at her confidence in her learning abilities. And now that she had seemingly everything to learn, everyone's confidence ironically put more pressure on her shoulders - it was all confusing.

It all came to a head when Arianna - her mom - proposed to teach her how to swim. The topic had come up at breakfast, when her mom had proposed that they could go to a nearby lake, and Rapunzel had stumbled over her words. Her parents immediately backtracked, as they always did when they worried about upsetting her, but Eugene had suggested that she would need to learn to swim at one point and, one thing leading to the other…

"Oh, cold," Rapunzel chuckled as she joined her mom in the water. Pascal, who wanted to come with her, put one little paw in the lake and decided that he'd be better off on dry land, which made Arianna laugh.

"Don't worry, your body will adapt to the temperature quickly. You know, I used to come here a lot when I was a kid," Arianna smiled softly.

This is the fourth time I am touching a body of water in my entire life , Rapunzel thought, but didn't say. She hadn't know her mom for a long time, but she already hated the sad glint that appeared in her eyes whenever Rapunzel mentioned her life in the tower. Arianna obviously loved her a lot - they just didn't know how to deal with each other quite yet.

"So, swimming!" Arianna exclaimed awkwardly. "What do you know about it?"

"I've seen Eugene do it," Rapunzel answered eagerly, mimicking the movement of his arms, "and I managed to swim for a little while, but it wasn't much."

She didn't add the part about the flooding cave, or the near death experience, or the feeling of being swept away by the current until Eugene grabbed her hand and pushed her toward the river bank. She didn't think her mom would appreciate it.

Arianna spent the next hour helping her find her footing in the water, teaching her the different ways she could float and move around. By the end of it, any hint of awkwardness had disappeared between them both, and they were sharing little anecdotes while laughing. They were in deeper water now, but Rapunzel felt confident that she wasn't going to drown - the most important thing Arianna had taught her was that staying calm was the key to swimming.

And of course that, in her new found confidence, she wasn't careful enough with her footing and fell right into the water - and of course, as she went down, she panicked and kicked her mother accidentally.

She barely breathed as she surfaced. "I'm so, so sorry," she babbled, helping her mom get up again and cringing at her now dishevelled state.

"Sweetheart it's-"

"I know you told me the ground was slippery, I really should have been more careful but I won't do it again-"

"Honey-"

"-and, I mean, you taught me so much already, and I listened to you, I swear , but-"

"Rapunzel," Arianna exclaimed, putting both of her hands on her shoulders, "it's fine, I'm not angry. You simply slipped, it happens."

Rapunzel laughed, her voice a little too high as her heart was still beating too quickly in her chest. It was a simple mistake, nothing big, but her body reacted as if her mothe- her mom was going to hate her for it. Which was frankly ridiculous, she told herself firmly, trying to wrangle her emotions back under her control.

"I- Rapunzel, even if you made a mistake because you didn't listen to me, I wouldn't be mad," Arianna continued softly, "god knows I didn't listen to anyone's advice when I was your age."

Here it was, that sad glint her mom always got in her eyes when she was thinking about Rapunzel's life in the tower - exactly what she had wished to avoid. Rapunzel sighed, feeling her shoulders slump, the gentle movement of the water around her a strangely soothing sensation. She knew Eugene and her mom were right - knew that she was too hard on herself, too competitive also, wanting to prove to everyone that they didn't need to explain themselves multiple times. But when she kept pushing these feelings away, hoping for them to disappear, she wasn't fixing anything.

"I'm sorry," she finally sighed, feeling like being honest was the only solution. "I'm not used to people explaining things to me. Gothel- she wasn't the most patient and, as soon as I could read, I learnt most things by myself. This," she smiled, vaguely gesturing to the situation, "is pretty new to me."

Arianna's eyes had softened as she talked, and she looked relieved that Rapunzel was trusting her enough to tell her this.

"This is pretty new to me too. I mean, I did help my sister learn how to ride a bike, but it involved a lot more bickering," she joked, trying to lighten the conversation. "You're a much better student than she ever was!"

"I guess I am," Rapunzel accepted, and the afternoon finished on a nicer tone.

It was hard for her, to relearn how to learn. It was hard for her to not underestimate or overestimate her capacities, to be able to accept help when the only one she had before was herself. But after that day at the lake, she understood that, no matter what, she now had a family to support her, and friends, and Eugene.

She didn't need to be perfect - she just had to remember that.

Chapter Text

Rapunzel never enjoyed sleeping. Or even relaxing, for that matter. Since she left her tower, some brave Coronans had asked her what she had done of her days back there, and they were all surprised to learn that she would wake up at 7am - surely, they asked, it would be easier to sleep the day away?

She had never wanted to "sleep the day away". She wanted to experience everything life had to give, and she certainly didn't want to miss the moment it would truly begin.

So Rapunzel woke up early all her life, and filled her days with more and more tasks and activities, trying to sooth her need for independence - until it wasn't possible anymore. And when she had left her tower, when Eugene and her arrived to Corona, she had seen how the city could be bustling with so much activities, so much to live through, enough that she would never grow bored again.

It had seemed too good to be true, at the time.

Now, as the recently returned lost Princess, Rapunzel was thriving. There was always something to do, to watch, to discover - and better yet, the activities she enjoyed in her tower were seen as a way to relax. In other words, she understood that relaxing could be fun, but being bored wasn't.

However, she still hated sleeping.

For her, sleeping had always been missing out, and it was even more true now - she had so much time to make up for, so many books to read, so many songs to sing, so many people to meet, why would anyone prefer sleeping over this? She understood that it repleted energy, but six hours of it were plenty enough to do that, really.

And, perhaps, it was also because she didn't want to deal with the nightmares.

These were a new development in her hatred of sleeping. Most of the time, they weren't very detailed - but they left her feeling scared and small as she woke up, and she hated that. Hated that her heart was racing until she knocked on Eugene's door, hated how jumpy she would be when they were particularly scary, hated how the night seemed to stay with her all day, the feeling sticking to her skin no matter what she did to forget it. So she slept less because, awake, she could control her fears.

After all, she thought, she had never needed that much sleep before, why should it matter now?

Well, apparently, Princess' duties were a lot more tiring than simply living her day to day life in the tower - Rapunzel learnt that pretty quickly. Days of sleeping the minimum amount of time turned into weeks turned into months, all of that with the added bonus stress of her magic hair making a come back, and the rift with her father. Eugene and Pascal were the first to notice that she was exhausted, but soon the whole castle saw the signs - before she was even willing to acknowledge them.

She simply hadn't expected Lance to be the one to act about it.

"You, Princess, need a nap," he had proclaimed after lunch, pushing her out the door with a promise to give her back once she was relaxed.

He made them go to a secluded part of the castle's gardens, insisted that she needed to lay down on the grass with him, crossed his arms behind his head and said nothing more. For the next twenty minutes.

Rapunzel was fidgeting after ten.

"I-"

"Nuh-hu," Lance interrupted immediately, "no talking, only relaxing."

Ten more minutes went by. Rapunzel thought she got a taste of infinity.

"Thank you Lance," she blurted out as she sat up, "I think I'm infinitely more relaxed now-"

"You're not," he frowned, looking a lot more serious suddenly. "Listen Rapunzel, I don't know what's bothering you, but a lot of people are worried about you. And by that, I mean that Eugene hasn't stopped talking my ear off about your sleeping schedule, but is clearly not chill enough to make you more chill so that's why I, the greatest napper in all Corona, was summoned," he announced dramatically, before closing his eyes. "So now, relax away."

Rapunzel bit her lips and sighed, before plopping back down. Rationally, she knew that she should get more sleep, but it wasn't that easy. Her brain just wouldn't shut off at times. Even now, she was watching the clouds, or the birds, or anything and everything that was moving and that could hold her interest. She had never liked being idle and now that she knew exactly just how much the world had to offer, she hated it even more.

Lance was more astute that she gave him credit for, though, because instead of staying silent again, he started narrating one of his old adventures with Eugene. Though he had a flair of the dramatics, the way he told his story was more laid back than Eugene's and, without her notice, Rapunzel had stayed forty minutes lying still in the grass, eyes closed, listening to his voice.

Huh. Maybe there was something to this relaxing stuff after all. She only wished it was as easy at nights, and Lance suggested jokingly-but-maybe-not-so-much that she knew another good storyteller who would be more than happy to sleep in the same bed as her.

"And don't forget Princess, being able to relax will help you stay calm and collected in face of danger, like yours truly always is," he proclaimed, putting his hand on his heart.

"Ah, thank you Lance, but there's a spider on your shirt."

The ungodly screech that escaped his mouth could hardly be called cool and collected, but Rapunzel simply put the spider to safety before patting Lance on the knee - his words had helped her today. He shot her a brilliant smile in return.

After all, Lance was right, there was someone who was capable of keeping most of her nightmares away.

"I should probably go back to my room," Eugene whispered into Rapunzel's hair when the night had long since fallen over Corona.

She mumbled a protest and snuggled up closer to him, and he chuckled, obviously as tired as she was. She had asked him for more Flynn Rider stories, that he had been more than happy to provide, but now she was nice and warm and comfy, and she really didn't want him to move. Going by the way he hugged her closer to him, he really didn't want to leave either.

"At least, I'll make sure you stay in bed tomorrow morning," he added. "You really don't need to get up at six."

But the sky I'll miss tomorrow morning will never be the same again, she wanted to say, when Lance's voice made a comeback in her head. She needed to relax. She couldn't possibly see all the nuances the sky would offer in her lifetime, anyway. So she let herself be lulled to sleep by Eugene's soothing voice, feeling the tension in her body unwind like she hadn't allowed herself in a long time.

No nightmare came to bother her that night.

And when she woke up next morning, way later than her usual schedule, she found herself still enveloped in Eugene's embrace, while he was sleeping deeply. Moreover, she realised that she might have missed this morning's sky new shades, but she had her own private show. Because, if she hadn't been right there, right now, she wouldn't have seen the sunlight making Eugene's hair shine, wouldn't have noticed how softly his eyelashes touched his skin, wouldn't have felt his warmth all around her as he breathed deeply, unperturbed. She wouldn't have seen his nose scrunch up as he felt her move, wouldn't have noticed the subtle tensing of his muscles as he tried to keep her with him, wouldn't- She would have missed a lot of things.

So right here, right now, her heart so full she felt it might just burst, Rapunzel decided that being idle, relaxing, sleeping - it all wasn't so bad, after all. She only needed to do it with the right people.

Chapter Text

The first few days of Rapunzel's return in Corona were a whirlwind of getting to know her parents, the castle, the kingdom, and the world in general in a very short span of time. However, there was one thing that her mom, in particular, insisted on explaining to her very early on: how to set boundaries. At first, Rapunzel had worried that this was the Queen's subtle way to say that she didn't trust Eugene, but Arianna had explained again and again how Rapunzel should only listen to herself and no one else when it came to her comfort zone. In other words, how neither Eugene nor anyone else, including her parents, should be allowed to make her uncomfortable.

Arianna had probably been worried about what Gothel had taught her or not - nonetheless, the lesson stuck with Rapunzel.

In the tower, setting boundaries had been conditional on Gothel's approval or general attention to said boundary. For example, Rapunzel could technically do what she wanted in her bedroom, but Gothel kept the exclusive right to barge in without needing an excuse - I'm your mother, why would you want to keep me out dear? Or again, Rapunzel could paint everywhere in the tower, but Gothel could decide that she didn't like some of her artworks, and then Rapunzel would need to remove it. Most of all, Gothel had a right to Rapunzel's hair no matter the time of the day or the mood she was in - that had been her mother's most important rule.

The first boundary Rapunzel firmly set was that people should not touch her hair without her express autorisation, especially if she couldn't see it coming.

Eugene wasn't really an exception, in the sense that she still didn't want him to touch her hair whenever, but she liked when he brushed it out of her face to see her eyes - that was the exception. And they had discussed it beforehand. She had been worried that he would have the same thought process that she had, and think that she was doing this because she didn't trust him - however he had not only been completely understanding, but had shared Arianna's opinion: her comfort was the most important thing. He never wanted to do something that would make her uneasy.

It felt refreshing, for sure, to be able to say no to something, and to have people actually listen to her. It's not that Rapunzel didn't know boundaries before - it's that Gothel was never subjected to them unless she wanted to be. Here, as the crown Princess, no one wanted to make her unhappy, so it was only a question of being able to express her feelings on the matter. Being open about it was a skill she was still working on but, overall, she didn't have too much trouble setting boundaries.

What she hadn't understood quickly, however, was that setting boundaries had multiple facets that she hadn't expected. Moreover, that she might have a hang on it for herself, but respecting others' boundaries was just as important - and just as hard.

She didn't know exactly when she noticed it, but it hit her one day that people didn't dare correct her if she crossed their limits. She would get too close to one of her father's advisors, and they wouldn't tell her to back off, because she was the Princess. Cassandra, at first, bit down her rebuttals, but was too headstrong to let Rapunzel really get away with bothering her - but Faith never had the nerve to tell her when she wanted more space. For the first time in her life, Rapunzel needed to be careful of not hurting the feelings of more than two living beings, and she hadn't even realised she was doing it wrong until recently. 

The worst part was when she understood that even Eugene didn't always speak up for himself.

She had seen it for the first time when they had been sitting alone on her windowsill. He had been talking fervently about a prank that he had pulled on someone when he was a kid, and Rapunzel had been watching him, listening silently. His eyes were shining and his hands were moving and, honestly, he was being so cute that she couldn't help herself - she kissed him quickly on the lips, rendering him speechless for a few seconds.

Then a few seconds more.

"Ah, uh, sorry," he said awkwardly, not smiling anymore.

"Sorry for what?" Rapunzel asked, worried at his sudden change in demeanour.

"I didn't realise I was talking so much," he laughed, but it was obviously forced as he shifted away from her.

"What? No, no, I love listening to you," she said, taking his hands in hers.

Eugene glanced down at it, then back at her, and she saw understanding dawn in his eyes as he softened. But, at the same time as he understood that she didn't mean what he thought she did with the kiss, she understood that she had crossed a boundary she hadn't known existed - and Eugene had been ready to accept it as is. He had been ready to ignore his comfort for hers.

"You… don't like when I kiss you out of the blue?" she asked, wondering if she had been making him uncomfortable for a while - and how could she have not noticed it before, why-

"No, no, kiss me when you want Sunshine," Eugene laughed, before hesitating at her intense look. He took a deep breath, his thumbs unconsciously stroking her hands. "I- maybe, not when I am talking? Because I thought- I don't really… like that."

Rapunzel never did it again. Later, after some crazy adventures and before some more, she would meet Stalyan, and learn why, exactly, Eugene was uncomfortable with it - why he had expected it to be a reprimand, why he had tensed and gone silent. But Rapunzel had never needed and explanation, and would have been fine without one all her life, if that was what happened.

What she wasn't fine with, was the idea that Eugene wouldn't tell her if she did something that upset him.

He had been so hesitant setting that one boundary that Rapunzel was suddenly worrying about what would have happened if she hadn't noticed - and feared asking how many times it already did without her knowledge. She tried to convince herself that it was the first time; that she knew him enough to feel it when he was unhappy, but still.

"Eugene, you have to tell me when I do something wrong," she said anyway, her eyes boring into his, hoping he would see how serious this issue was to her.

He smiled, but she could see that he wanted to change the subject. "It was nearly nothing-"

"No it wasn't!"

"You didn't mean to," he tried.

"Well, if you didn't mean to make me uncomfortable, but you did, wouldn't you want to know?" She could see immediately that she had struck a nerve, and Eugene sighed. "Please, promise to tell me if I do something you don't like."

"I… I promise, Sunshine," he acquiesced, and she knew she could trust his word.

It wasn't the case with everyone, however. Sometimes it felt like she was navigating in the dark - people would grow angry at her seemingly out of the blue, because they thought she understood a rule she knew nothing about. She did try being more conscious about others' feelings and boundaries, because she knew how liberating it felt to have the right to simply live life as you wanted; but sometimes, it felt like she couldn't help but hurt people. With Varian, then with Cassandra, Rapunzel had felt like she was playing a game without knowing its rules - and she had lost, twice.

But the world not being as straightforward as it once was was one of the reason it was so beautiful. So Rapunzel learnt about her loved ones silent cues, like they learnt about hers - because sometimes, it wasn't as much a lack of honesty toward her as a lack of honesty toward oneself. She learnt to say sorry when it was necessary, but she also learnt that sometimes, it wasn't her fault that she couldn't read minds.

And as with every obstacle life threw her way, Rapunzel strove to do better - at respecting boundaries and setting her own.

Chapter Text

Mother Gothel never got angry at Rapunzel when she cried. Sometimes, when she was a kid, Gothel would tell her bedtime stories about the outside world so awful that Rapunzel couldn't help but feel her eyes tear up, a cold feeling of dread settling in her stomach - and her mother would always comfort her, stroking her hair softly.

"Don't worry my flower, Mother will protect you," she would whisper, muffled by Rapunzel's hair - and Rapunzel would settle back in her bed, feeling warm and safe now that she knew her mother would always be there for her. Crying always brought affection and love like nothing else ever did in the tower.

Crying over Eugene's dead body had been nothing like what she was used to.

The tears were slow, blurring her vision as she refused to blink, and her heart felt cold and numb as Rapunzel realised that she was alone. Mother- Gothel, who had never been mother, would never comfort her again - she was dead. Eugene, with his jokes and his laughs and his soft vulnerability would never try to make sure that she was okay again - he was dead. She was well and truly alone, and her tear fell in slow motion, tracing an icy path on her skin.

Until it brought back the sun - and Eugene breathed again, warn and alive and here.

When Rapunzel left her tower for the last time - when she left the hair and the dust and the blood behind, seeping through the walls of her childhood - she learnt to be more careful about her tears. Because crying was making herself vulnerable, opening herself to comfort and, sometimes, she wished she hadn't done it so readily as a child. She knew it was unfair to think like that, knew that she couldn't have known who Gothel truly was - but still. When she cried, she remembered the warmth of her mother as she tucked her into bed, and it made her feel sick… because she still missed it. Sometimes. She didn't want to think about it.

Now, most of the time, the only witness to her tears was Pascal, who tried his hardest to make her feel better when it happened. Eugene would always notice when she had cried, though she hadn't understood at first that his extra gentleness those days were because he knew - he came clean about it himself, joking that he took care of his skin enough to know the signs of recent tears. In retrospect, she was happy that he hadn't confronted her about it, and simply tried to be here for her. She knew she wouldn't have had the same reaction herself, but she had appreciated the space - she was very lucky to have him.

She guessed, though, that by always keeping her tears to herself, Rapunzel had been building up a breakdown for years now.

She had cried over Cassandra's betrayal already. In the privacy of her friend's room, hugging her lady-in-waiting outfit, Rapunzel had allowed her tears to fall and her heart to break all over again, before putting her walls back up and going to face off the Saporians. She had opened up to Eugene about her conflicting feelings on the situation and, since then, she had tried to keep an unwavering optimism. Cassandra would come home - she would make sure of it.

It was hard to keep convincing herself of it when she came back from Cassandra's childhood home- when she came back from meeting her again- when she came back from being left to die in a poisoned cave by who she still thought of as her best friend.

She didn't talk to Pascal on her way back, despite his obvious worry. She didn't say hi to the guards that greeted her, despite it being completely out of character for her. She climbed the stairs one by one, ready to hide out in her room for a while, probably paint her messy and dark thoughts in her journal, and- and-

She opened her door.

"Sunshine!" Eugene exclaimed, a blinding smile on his face as he got up from her bed with obvious relief. "I was starting to worry! Are you alright?"

Rapunzel heard the door close behind her. She felt Pascal hop off her shoulder. She had half a second in which she felt her lips wobble, before she stumbled in Eugene's arms and burst out crying.

She thought she heard him curse softly, but then his arms went around her and she lost herself in his comfort as she cried harder than she had in years. Her body was trembling against Eugene's steady presence, her chest heaving as she kept breathing shakily through her tears, hands clutching unrelentingly at his jacket. Her sobs kept coming, too loud and too heartbroken, telling of a sadness and an exhaustion she hadn't been able to put into words - until it became too much.

She wanted her best friend back. But she was also so, so angry at Cassandra for holding Gothel against her - so angry at her for wishing to have been raised by her, when one of the only saving graces Rapunzel found in her kidnapping was that, at least, Cassandra got to grow up in Corona, raised by the Captain. How could she- why couldn't she understand that Gothel was nothing of a mother?

Why was Cassandra more willing to trust one happy memory from a magic mirror, instead of all the good times they had shared since they met?

A sob broke out of her chest again, her whole face on fire as she kept crying, and Eugene simply hugged her, murmuring little nothings in her ear. God, Rapunzel loved him. Gothel, for all the comfort she had provided, never went as far in the manipulation as holding Rapunzel while she was crying - she probably drew the line at tears and snot.

Eugene however… Eugene didn't move. He kept holding her, breathing deliberately slowly until she matched her own breathing with his, whispering that he loved her as she probably ruined his jacket. She felt his hand splayed on her back, big and warm and safe as it seemingly held her together - he was the only thing keeping her standing for now. It was liberating, in a way. So Rapunzel kept crying, safe in the knowledge that she could be vulnerable with him, that Eugene knew her and loved her more than enough to be here for her when she broke down. She sobbed, too loudly and too messily, and he held her through it.

At some point, her tears slowed. At some point, her breathing went from panicked to simply jerky, as she tried to catch her breath. At some point, Eugene felt her slump further into his embrace and carefully moved them to the bed, where he sat down with her still sniffling in his arms.

"I-" she croaked out, her voice giving up on her and she gripped his jacket tighter. "I saw Cassandra today."

Eugene tensed, before relaxing again deliberately. "Are you hurt?"

She was so ready for him to ask if Cassandra hurt her, for her to need to justify her friend's actions once again despite the pain, that she was thrown for a second by the actual question. Then, she felt her treacherous tears gathering in her eyes once again. She shrugged, because she honestly didn't know, and Eugene kissed her cheek softly.

"Then, when you feel up to it, we'll go the infirmary. Alright?"

"Aren't you… Aren't you going to ask me what happened?" Rapunzel asked, head still hidden on his shoulder.

"Sunshine, of course I want to know, but I have never seen you cry that hard. The explanation can wait," Eugene promised, one of his hand slowly stroking her shoulder. She nearly cried again at this declaration because, in truth, she didn't want to talk about it. Didn't even want to think about it - she just wanted to sleep, right now, and hope that tomorrow will be a better day.

She also had trouble believing that Eugene had never seen her cry that hard. It wasn't the first time she broke down, especially since Cassandra left, but it was true that, until now, she had always made sure that Pascal would be the only one here. She wasn't so sure it had been the right choice, now that she knew how much better she felt only by having him with her.

Eugene didn't tuck her to bed, like Gothel had done when she was a kid. He didn't make empty promises of protection, didn't tell her that she had no reason to cry. He was being very careful not to touch her hair, because he knew she especially hated it when she was in distress. And despite all these differences - or, better yet, thanks to them, all that terrible nostalgia Rapunzel couldn't get rid of was swipped away as she melted into Eugene's arms.

Eyes puffy, throat raw and achy from crying, Rapunzel raised her head to only see understanding and love in Eugene's eyes. Her own welled up again against her will, but she let them - she didn't want to keep her tears at bay anymore.

With Gothel, she had felt safe because her mother assured her that she would protect her against anything. With Eugene, she felt loved, because she knew that no matter the obstacle, even if he couldn't protect her, Eugene would be right there at her side, ready to support her in any way she needed.

She loved him so much, and felt so lucky to be loved in return. She knew that crying with him - being open, vulnerable with him, despite the risks - was all a choice she was willing to make.

A choice that she would try to make from now on, she promised herself, as they went down to the infirmary.

Chapter Text

The one thing that drastically changed for Rapunzel when she left her tower, was kissing, and kisses in general. She had next to no frame of reference for it - Gothel did kiss her head from time to time, but that sensation was always faint and muffled by her hair, because that was what her mother truly loved. Rapunzel knew about romantic kisses; she had read about them long ago, when fairy tales weren't yet banned from her library but, according to her mother, those never happened, because everyone outside was a thug and a ruffian.

In any case, Rapunzel never had too many feelings about kissing. She never really thought of it, never really hoped for it, not like she dreamt of seeing the lanterns. She knew about kissing, but she didn't care about it.

It changed, of course, when she met Eugene. A lot of changes began with him.

Their first kiss was a maelstrom. She kept pressing her lips against his, nearly faint with relief as she felt him move under her, heart beating faster than it ever did and stars bursting under her eyelids and lighting up her soul. That kiss was burning, unbridled, full of so many emotions that her body might have just exploded from it, and it felt like it ended too soon while lasting for infinity - she couldn't ask for a better first kiss.

What she hadn't expected to like just as much, if not more, were all the following kisses. The ones that weren't explosive, that didn't make her heart feel like it could burst - the kisses that had no reason to be, but still were anyway, because Eugene loved her and she loved him.

Good morning kisses were now a part of Rapunzel's life. Eugene had been scared, at first, to be too affectionate in front of her parents so everyday, without fail, he would find her before breakfast and kiss her hello sweetly. She'd say "good morning" and he'd say "it is now", or some other cheesy line that always made her heart flutter, and her lips would tingle because they missed his already. It was routine and it was love, wrapped into a simple gesture of affection.

As time passed, good morning kisses evolved too - but they always, always made sure to have one. Her favourite morning kisses were definitely those that happened when they woke up together, in the same bed. Sometimes, Eugene would keep his eyes closed longer than necessary as he hugged her closer, still groggy, seeking her mouth blindly. Sometimes, he would still be asleep and she would be the one peppering him with kisses until he scrunched his nose adorably and woke up. Sometimes, those morning kisses went on longer, became deeper, as one of them decided that they weren't going out of bed yet.

Those were good mornings.

There were other kinds of kisses Rapunzel enjoyed. Some were stolen, little breaks in her schedule between two activities, hidden from view, quick and punctuated by muffled giggles. It reminded her of that first day in Corona, when they evaded the guards, smiling and happy as they shared the secrecy - her cheeks warmed every time Eugene stealthily pulled her into a nook of the castle. However, he wasn't the sole culprit of the stolen kisses, and as often as he had interrupted her princess duties, she now enjoyed borrowing the Captain of the Guard during training.

"Last time we did that," Eugene whispered once between two breaths, "Stan and Pete thought someone kidnapped me."

"Mmh," Rapunzel nodded, her hands playing with the collar of his uniform, enjoying how much darker his cheeks got when they kissed. "Well I ought to rescue you, then."

Eugene had tried to protest that it wasn't what he meant, but he lost his focus when she pulled him down to her lips. Stolen kisses were fun.

(Pete and Stan thinking that the Queen disappeared was less fun to solve, but Rapunzel had no regrets.)

Sometimes, the kisses were distracted - an automatic gesture of affection as they went on with their days. Rapunzel loved those because, for her, it meant that no matter what was happening, she was always a thought in Eugene's mind. Distracted kisses happened all the time, often unconsciously, but she always felt happier thanks to them.

Eugene could be entering a room, arguing loudly with Lance about some thing or another, and he would still take the time to kiss her cheek quickly, before he kept on bickering. Or he would be reading a book, and give her a quick peck on her lips when she sat beside him. Little gestures, little spots of tenderness during the day, that didn't make her feel like her heart might just burst, but which meant the world to her nonetheless.

Sometimes, kisses were an apology - though they never replaced a real, communicated one. But kisses could be the beginning of an apology, a way to say "sorry, I will talk to you later, I still love you". They were a promise that they could solve everything together, because they were each other's dream. They could also be a confession that, even if they couldn't do anything to ease the pain, they would support each other no matter what. It happened a lot more than Rapunzel ever wished, especially during Cassandra's betrayal, but she loved them anyway - because they gave her strength when she was hurt.

She only hoped that Eugene felt the same, when the role were reversed. When he was the one who needed help he couldn't ask for, and when she was the one who saw through him right away, and was ready to give him everything he wanted.

There were the kisses while sick, also. When she was the one with a fever, she would always tell Eugene not to do it, because she didn't want to get him sick too - and he did it anyway. When it was Eugene that was ill, the roles were reversed, and she suddenly understood why he couldn't stop himself.

"Stop kissing me," Eugene mumbled for the umpteenth time, burrowing deeper into the covers, "you'll catch my cold."

"I'm taking your temperature," Rapunzel explained confidently, brushing his hair out of his still flushed face.

"With your lips? Doesn't sound reliable."

"Well, it is," she smiled, and kissed his nose to make her point. He glared at her but she could see he wanted to smile, so she couldn't regret it.

(Not even when she started coughing two days later.)

Thus, kisses were an integral part of her life and, while she hadn't particularly ached for them when she was in her tower, Rapunzel couldn't imagine living without them now. Eugene never kissed her hair like Gothel did - he was always seeking the warmth of her skin, always trying to make her smile or blush or laugh. He enjoyed using his height to kiss her forehead, and she enjoyed returning the favor when he laid down beside her. He would kiss her hand, sometimes, telling her how much he admired her art. And in each and every of his kisses, from the quick and stolen ones to the slow and meaningful ones, there was a common variable: his undying love for her.

In truth, she didn't relearn to kiss when she left her tower - she simply learnt it, and discovered affection through the grand and the little gestures. And everything Eugene gave her, she was more than eager to give him in return.

She had, however, a favourite kind of kisses. Yes, her, who had never settled on a favourite colour because they were all beautiful in her eyes - she had a favourite kind of kisses, and she knew it was Eugene's too.

"Hey," she whispered softly as she entered the nursery.

"Hey," Eugene answered, turning toward her, one of the twins asleep in his arms. Here, in the middle of the night, with his hair an absolute mess and dark circles under his eyes as he bounced their daughter gently, he had never been more beautiful.

Rapunzel padded silently toward the crib, looking at their son who was already a deeper sleeper than his sister, and felt herself melt at the sight once again. Then, she went to her husband and, carefully, he put their daughter in her arms.

She was so warm and tiny and soft, Rapunzel could have cried right here and then. Going by Eugene's shining eyes, it was a shared sentiment.

Gently, Rapunzel kissed her daughter's forehead, careful not to wake her up again. Then, she put her down into her crib, and felt Eugene's warm hand settling on her back.

Those were her favourite kisses. And she simply knew that, no matter what happened, no matter their pasts and their upbringings, her and Eugene would make the best parents one could hope for - because they strove to be.