Chapter Text
Moon Bin gazed at Dongmin’s sleeping form. It was rare for Bin to be up before the other boy and he wanted to savour it. Dongmin was always beautiful, but for Bin, nothing compared to the peaceful expression he donned while asleep.
He recalled when they first met as trainees all those years ago. Bin didn’t like him at first, thinking he had only gotten his far because of his looks. Dongmin was so much more than that though. He was hardworking and kind and funny and within six months of meeting him, Bin knew he was screwed. It only got worse after they debuted and they were spending virtually all their time together. Not to mention having to share a room with the boy he secretly loved sucked. Eventually, he couldn’t keep it to himself anymore and blurted out a confession one night.
Dongmin had dragged him to bed after one too many drinks. As he tucked Bin into bed, they locked eyes and Bin just said it.
“I love you.” His inebriated brain remembered it as a sweet, heart-felt confession, however, Dongmin later told him that he barely understood what Bin had said due to his drunken slurs. He blacked out after that. He woke up the next morning ashamed and embarrassed, assuming he had just ruined everything. The last thing he expected was Dongmin to offer him breakfast and tell him he loved Bin too.
Bin smiled at the memory and pulled him closer into his chest, planting a soft kiss on his forehead. Dongmin stirred but didn’t open his eyes. It was a door closing loudly that finally roused him. He groaned and he rubbed his eyes as he sat up.
“Morning,” Bin said fondly, pushing himself up on his elbows to kiss his cheek.
“Morning.” He replied mid-yawn. “You’re up early.”
Bin chuckled. “It’s ten-thirty; not that early.”
Dongmin whined quietly, “you should have woken me up,” before swinging his legs over the edge of the bed to get up. “I told my parent I’d visit them today.”
Bin wanted to pull Dongmin back down. He wasn’t ready to get up and restart their act, in which they pretended they were nothing more than bandmates and friends. Bin knew it was necessary and he never admitted it to Dongmin, but he hated hiding their relationship. They had been together for just over two years. Bin hated keeping it a secret from the very start, however, back then they shared a room and could be together freely behind closed doors. Then they moved dorms and Dongmin had to go and win the room by himself while Bin ended up with Jinwoo. It wasn’t that he didn’t love their leader; he did as much as any of the other members but the new arrangement made it much more difficult for him and Dongmin to spend time together. Bin was almost glad when Jinwoo walked in on them making out on the couch.
Thankfully, their ever-loving leader was wholly accepting of them. Perhaps not of them making use of the couch but he had agreed to keep it a secret as well as help them out when they wanted to be together. That was two months ago. Since then, with Jinwoo’s help, things had gotten easier for the couple. This way they still got to sleep together at night.
“Binnie,” God, I love that nickname, “you getting up?” Dongmin asked, pulling a shirt over his head.
“Yeah, just admiring the view,” Bin smirked back up at him.
Then Dongmin hit him in the face with his pants and he shut up.
_______
It was their day off. A day typically reserved for visiting family, Minhyuk and Sanha had instead opted for a movie marathon the night before and they were already well immersed in the first film. Myungjun had left early on to see his parents and Jinwoo was taking full advantage of their free day by sleeping in. This left the dorm remarkably quiet and allowed for kisses to be easily exchanged between the couple while they made breakfast. Dongmin wrapped his arms tightly around Bin’s waist and rested his chin on his shoulder as Bin flipped pancakes.
Bin giggled at his boyfriend's clinginess, “are you just going to stand there watching me?”
Dongmin mumbled indistinctly in reply making Bin smile.
They remained in the kitchen to eat their breakfast, neither wanting to leave their little bubble. They sat across from each other in comfortable silence, simply enjoying each other’s company. Opportunities to be alone like this were too few and far between.
“Alright, I have to go now,” Dongmin said, putting his plate in the sink and pulling on a coat.
Bin pouted. “Do you have to?”
“You could come with me.”
“No thanks, your mum still kind of freaks me out.”
Dongmins laughed, “for the last time, my mother is not a scary woman.”
“She’s nice but I feel like she can look into my soul and know all my secrets.” Bin shivered at the thought.
Dongmins suddenly leans over close to Bin’s face, a condescending grin on his face. “You have secrets?”
Bin pressed his lips together, looking away suspiciously. “No,” he said quietly making the other man guffaw. Dongmin kisses him and with a quick “goodbye”, headed for the door. As he reaches for the door handle, a strong hand grabs his wrist, pulling him around into a warm embrace.
“Binne!” He complained feebly, pressing a small smile into his boyfriend’s shoulder.
“Just a little longer,” Bin whispered, running a hand through his hair.
Dongmin pulled away after a long hug. “I’ll see you later.”
Then he left and Bin joined Minyuk and Sanha, never thinking for a second Dongmin’s words might not be true.
_______
Jinwoo got out of bed shortly after Dongmin left and Myungjun returned a few hours later.
“Where’s Eunwoo?” Myungjun asked as he took a seat with the others.
“Went to see his parents,” Bin replied, throwing a piece of popcorn in his mouth. “He should be back soon.”
“Great ‘cause I bought alcohol!” A chorus of delightful yells followed as Sanha jumped up to see what Myungjun got. Their elation was cut off as manager Noh entered. They greeted him cheerily and offered him a drink. He shook his head solemnly and told them they should sit down. “This is going to be hard to hear.”
Bin rested on the arm of the couch next to Minhyuk. He could feel his heart start to race at their manager’s expression as a voice cried in his head something’s wrong.
Manager Noh swallowed nervously a few times before starting to speak. “Eunwoo was in an accident.” Bin shot up immediately, five little words suddenly making everything feel numb. He couldn’t see the other members but he could hear their shocked exclamations behind him.
“Is he okay? What happened?” Jinwoo asked, voice audibly shaking.
“He was driving,” Noh continues, answering the latter question. “Someone ran a red light and crashed into him. It was… bad. They took him straight to the hospital, he made it out of surgery a few minutes ago.” They looked at him expectantly, all desperate to hear their cherished member was okay. “He’s stable for now but he injured his head badly in the crash and-“ he cut off suddenly and whipped a hand over his head, letting a deep sigh out. “The doctors – they think – they think there’s a good chance he might not wake up.”
Bin felt as if the world had crumbled beneath his feet. A crashing, all-consuming pain devoured him and all he wanted to do was scream. But he couldn’t move. The others looked around at each other in disbelief before breaking down one by one. But Bin couldn’t move. His eyes remained trained on manager Noh as his eyes welled up watching the other boys' reactions. But Bin couldn’t move. Couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t utter a word.
This is what life is without him, he thinks briefly before his legs gave out and his vision went black.