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"Well, just because Danny and I are lovers, it doesn't mean we're joined at the hip."
Danny freezes with his face on a slightly horrified, slightly startled expression while catching Kono in the process of trying to not see the mental image Steve just painted there.
"Babe," Danny says slowly, ignoring Kono's smothered hiccups, "no. Partner. Significant other. I'll even take 'spouse' if you must be formal."
Steve looks at him in total surprise, blinks, and says, "What's wrong with 'lovers'?"
"Boss," Kono says, still laughing, "that is so last century."
For a moment, she makes them both feel old, then Danny gets his own back by saying, "And how would you know that?"
Steve is still looking from one to the other with the frown he usually wears when confronted with unfamiliar social cues he's missed out on. "'Partner', Danno? We're already partners."
"It's a perfectly acceptable word," Danny replies primly, "and most people will understand what it means."
"It's also very gender neutral," Kono interjects with a smile, "so it's suitable for all occasions."
"I see you're a fan," Danny replies with a smile, "though I don't see what's unsuitable about me and Steve."
It's Steve's turn to snort at that.
"Your commentary is not appreciated," Danny says in an aside to him.
"I don't use 'partner'," Kono says, "other than in a professional context. Do you think I go around talking to people about my 'partner'?" The air quotes are clearly audible, and she's showing her age in a way that's usually masked by her professionalism.
"I'm not using 'my significant other', Danny," Steve adds.
Kono wrinkles her nose. "That leaves 'spouse'," she says to Steve, and Danny can see how it is now, the two of them ganging up on him; they're a dangerous pair when left to their own devices.
Steve takes her cue like a pro and turns to Danny in an exaggerated motion that isn't nearly as attractive as he thinks. "We're not even married, Danny."
"If you're thinking of proposing I would rethink that plan, Steven," he warns him sternly.
Steve looks wholly innocent, but Danny knows at what other moments he pulls that expression, and isn't convinced.
Kono opens her mouth, waits for them both to look at her, and adds, "Friends of mine use 'spousal unit' for each other."
He's sure the horror is visible on his face, and Steve contorts his eyebrows in a way previously unobserved before declaring, "Well, I'm not."
Kono shrugs. "It's an option."
"Yeah, no," Danny replies.
It's only when Steve grins at him in victory that he realises his mistake. "That does not mean anything, Steven. That does not mean it's suddenly okay to refer to me with a Victorian phrase temporarily re-instituted in the 1990s to combat ignorance and broaden horizons."
Steve's eyebrows slope up and Kono stares briefly before checking herself. "Wow, Danny," she says finally, "I had college textbooks that were less formal."
"There is nothing wrong," Danny reminds her with a pointed finger, "with using the entirety of the English language at your disposal."
"I know," says Steve, deadpan, "that's what I was doing."
"I hate you," Danny replies after a pause. "No, really, I've lost all soft and fuzzy feelings for you, you're a terrible, insidious person, I--"
"I like 'lover'," Steve says, cutting him off. "I think it fits." There's something soft under his assured tone, something simple that Danny recognises. "I love you, you love me; we're lovers."
Kono blinks rapidly as she turns away. Danny opens his mouth to counter Steve's argument. Closes it again. Looks at him. "Fine," he says with a wave of his hand. "I won't argue with that."
Steve grins like the idiotic goof that he is. Kono gives them both a smile, and murmurs something about needing to do a thing before retreating to her own office.
Danny looks at him. "All right, babe, you won this one."
Steve leans in for a very quick kiss, heeding that they're still in the office. "I'm glad I did, Danny."
--
end.