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Martin was a fool. He knew that more than anyone. But it never hurt to mull over one’s own stupidity in his spare time, he had learned that much at the temple. He had been stewing in his own fear after a guard had returned to the palace yesterday evening with news of her whereabouts and it was even better than he’d hoped. It was risky for her to be seen in the city, she knew that and she knew that he knew that. Whether it was an indirect power play or a lapse in judgment or a genuine want to be caught, he couldn’t take the chance.
She had developed a rhythm to her treasure-hunting. She visited the same stores to sell her wares in the Imperial Market District and slept in the same house in Anvil when she needed time to meditate. He had sent scouts there originally, but all their reports had come back that she had been gone for months, and then there were of course the reports of her leaving the empire to tour Hammerfell. But it was only a matter of time when she’d be caught in Cyrodiil again, and sure enough, he received a missive about her making an appearance in the Market District a few days ago.
He had made a mistake before. One he was more than willing to rectify. To put her through such evils made him fear a chance at forgiveness, but even so, he had to tell her.
-0-
“You’re back.” He says, the hopeful tinge behind his words went unnoticed by the Dunmer. Martin wrung his hands together and the refined leather squeaked under the pressure.
Freesia stood between two displeased guards. Her red hair was knotted in a mussed ponytail and she had a look of pure chaotic decadence plastered across her face. “We found her drunk in a tavern nearby milord,” The first guard ground out through his teeth, “This was the only Dunmer that fit your description.”
“I didn’t have a choice in the matter.” She sneered before Martin waved his hand and the two guards gave her a cursory glance before the marched off somewhere behind her. “An escort Martin?” She giggled when they were out of earshot, “Such scandal, what would the Blades think?”
With a regal flair, he turned and headed further into the tearoom. “Join me for a drink? You wouldn’t believe the resources I had to go through to find you.” Freesia followed behind him eyeing the paintings that lined the walls. She didn’t dare cross into his personal bubble, despite the history they shared.
Despite his casual tone, Martin was more than excited to see her. His palm sweat and he could barely force his eyes to meet hers. She hasn’t aged a day. After these past few years, he could feel himself withering away. The stress of both the past and present weighed heavily on him, and he’d aged beyond his years. Her hair had gotten longer, the short red waves were now tresses of crimson. Perhaps there was a scar here or there where there shouldn’t have been, but the years had been kind to her in a way they weren’t to him. When he had gotten a report that the treasure hunter had been spotted in Cyrodiil again, he couldn’t risk her slipping through his fingers, like the last time.
“What brings you back to the heart of the empire, my friend?” He sits down across from a fireplace in one of the large satin chairs. His heart is racing, but he evens out his breath and avoids staring, lest he scare her away. She sits in the one beside it, crossing her legs and lounging like they had done this a million times before.
“Money…” She pauses, seemingly to think. “And fun, of course. I never did find all of Cyrodiil’s nooks and crannies. Highrock is just so terribly small for my taste.” Her voice was smooth and low, she hadn’t changed. The world was still just an unfilled map to her, just a canvas she had yet to paint. Martin’s heart wavers a little, is it selfish to want her back here after so long?
“There should be a servant coming soon, but I hope you realize that I didn’t summon you here for tea and a chat.” Martin wrung his hands together, his lordly façade starting to falter.
“No?” She questions and her ruby eyes are on him. It looks like genuine confusion, but he knows how well she can put up a face.
He doesn’t understand how she’s being so casual. It was only a few years ago that they were both standing together in this room, the weight of the world finally lifted off their shoulders. Both battle-weary and hardened by their trials, both unsure of what the next step would be.
“I-I have to tell you something,” Martin whispers, breathless. They’re only inches apart but it feels like there is a cavern between them and all his words fall in, lost to its depths. He takes a step closer and he feels the gap widen as she averts her eyes. In the pit of his gut, they both knew the words he was going to say next.
“I don’t want you to tell me.” She looks back up and her eyes are glassy, tears brimming at the edges. “I thought you were gone, Martin.” A single drop rolls down her cheek.
His heart sinks in his chest. “Freesia I didn’t think I would be here either, but I couldn’t tell you before. I never wanted you to—”
“Not now,” She sniffles. “You have a whole empire to rebuild. Your people need you more than I do, and I can’t be here for it. You know I can’t.” Her hands are shaking, but no more tears fall. “I’m going somewhere…else. And I don’t know when I’ll be back. Please don’t wait for me, Martin.”
Martin takes a breath, trying to steady his frayed nerves. “I’m afraid I must apologize.” He managed to smile at her. He wanted to say so much, that she was beautiful, that he never meant to hurt her, that he was ashamed for putting her through so much on his behalf and kept wanting more…
“Guards are a bit excessive, but I suppose I was making a bit of a fuss. It’s been a while since I’ve had that Surielle Brothers. Can you blame me?” She half-heartedly laughs.
“No, it’s not about the guards.” He laughed with her, or tried to. This feeling that had wound its way around his heart was finally loosening, but having her stare at him with that small tinge of fear was making it harder for him. “Do you remember when you asked me to not wait for you?” He fists his hands in the soft fur of his emperor regalia, trying not to break.
His words cut through her veneer of calm, and she stares right at him, unmoving. “Yes.”
“I’m afraid I haven’t abided by your wishes; I’ve been counting the days since you’ve been gone. I’ve sent scouts to every corner of the empire I could reach to search for you.” He pauses to meet her eyes. “I’ve missed you so terribly, I could wrap my arms around you and keep you there forever. Every time I look at this amulet around my neck, every time I smell the cinders from a fire,” He stands up, “Every time I even think about that day I am reminded of the terrible mistake I made in letting you leave this palace without telling you what I needed you to hear.” It all came out, spilling from his lips like he was born to say those words and those words alone.
Freesia was shrunk into her chair, tears threatening to spill over. “Martin, please I—”
“I love you. I’ve never stopped loving you and the very idea of not having you here with me tears me apart every moment you’re away.” He kneeled in front of her chair, reaching out his hand.
Every shard of willpower she had was reduced to dust as she leaped to wrap her arms tight around his neck and sob into the crook of his shoulder. “Martin I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry…” She cried into his arms. And he just took it. Every sorrow she had hidden for so long, the nights she had to spend wallowing in her traumas meant nothing now. Freesia could only apologize and beg for forgiveness as years of untapped emotion surged through her. “I just couldn’t watch you torture yourself anymore! I couldn’t be what you wanted, I’m so sorry...”
He held her as tight as he could muster, reveling in the fact that she was here, and they could be together again. Like they were supposed to be. “Just, don’t leave me here alone... I’d march across the world and back if it meant I’d never have to long for you again, my love.”
“I promise, Martin.” She sobbed again.