Work Text:
From: Wei Ying ❤️
lan zhan!
is your uncle like
asleep?
From: Lan Zhan
Hello, Wei Ying. Yes.
I believe so. Why?
From: Wei Ying ❤️
yay
that’s great
not that i don’t wanna see him
i mean
we both know i don’t hahaaha
anyway
um
surprise!
open the front door
in like
5 min
i am nearby
cya!
Lan Zhan stared at the screen of his phone, his eyes lingering on the small red heart emoji by Wei Ying’s contact name. The latter set it up himself, a few years back, when they first became friends during the summer school, and Lan Zhan never changed it. He smiled softly and checked the time to know when to let Wei Ying in. This was an unexpected visit, but then, with Wei Ying what wasn’t, really.
It was almost ten pm, an hour past his curfew. He was supposed to go to bed a while ago. Still, lately, he had been staying up just a little longer, him and Wei Ying often catching up over text messages, or calls in the evenings. Somehow, Lan Zhan learnt to enjoy the quiet of the evening when everyone in the house was asleep. Initially, he was accustomed to a strict and early schedule since childhood, but he was willing to change his habits a little bit to accommodate his best friend. Soon, though, he realised he wasn’t his uncle and his rigid patterns. Lan Zhan quickly grew to understand why some people were so fond of evenings, of staying up late into the night. This was the only time of the day when no one expected things from him, didn’t ask anything of him. It was just him and Wei Ying, in their secret bubble. But sometimes not even Wei Ying, and then it was just Lan Zhan and his music or his books or his ideas and emotions and wandering thoughts. In that time, the time he wasn’t supposed to have, somehow Lan Zhan felt more himself than ever.
There was something magical about the peaceful darkness that came after dusk.
Wei Ying had been really busy with his career taking off the way it did. At first, when he turned to homeschool, they sometimes met after class hours to do coursework together, or finish projects they had started before and were to still hand in. Or Wei Ying would call and request Lan Zhan’s help with something. Lan Zhan was inclined to think that Wei Ying did not, in fact, need his assistance with maths, considering he was much better with the numbers. Regardless, he was happy to indulge Wei Ying and not ask any questions, if only for having an excuse to spend more time together.
Since Wei Ying took a sabbatical, though, this too was lost. Lan Zhan missed seeing his best friend’s face and his blinding smile every single day in class. He missed his chaotic presence that would fill up the whole room with its aura. He missed the sound of his voice, the way he could just spawn a thousand words per minute, and yet it still wouldn’t be fast enough to catch up with his creativity, his wit, the speed of his thoughts. And the sound of his laughter. The music he would come up with, seemingly from nowhere, during the least expected situations. And the scent of spice and warmth that he exuded, so exhilarating that Lan Zhan could only wish to bask in it every day. Wei Ying was simply exceptional in every single way. And Lan Zhan… Missed everything about him.
But he would never, ever say that out loud.
Not only because he knew Wei Ying would feel guilty about not having more time for him - Lan Zhan already knew he did. Wei Ying would mention being upset over it often, but Lan Zhan would always tell him it was okay, that he was okay. Even if maybe he wasn’t entirely okay . But not everyone gets an opportunity at a career like this, especially as young as Wei Ying. Lan Zhan knew how much his best friend was willing to do for him, so he would never say anything. He would not forgive himself if he accidentally jeopardised Wei Ying’s chance at doing what he is so passionate about and what he is so exceptionally talented at.
And also, mostly, because Lan Zhan knew what it would sound like.
It would sound as if he was totally, evidently, inarguably in love with Wei Ying.
And there would be no way he could even try to deny that, because, well, he was .
So he would never, ever say that out loud. His feelings were not worth messing up their friendship for.
Still, he could feel a spark of excitement building up at the opportunity of seeing Wei Ying, even this late at night, even if just for a short while. He knew he could never get enough of seeing Wei Ying, being near Wei Ying, and objectively speaking it’d been too long since they last met.
Lan Zhan was half-sitting on his bed when he received the text. He was already in his sleeping gown, but he quickly changed into light grey sweatpants and a white t-shirt. He turned the light off in his room before opening the door and tiptoed over to the front door. He was wearing his softest socks to not make a sound, careful not to wake his family up.
Lan Zhan unlocked the door, and there he was: Wei Ying.
Wei Ying with his smile so bright it was blinding in the dark of the night. With the aura of warmth and mischief surrounding him. With his inaudible giggle that he huffed out as he sneaked in, shoes already taken off and held in his hands.
‘Could you get me a glass of water?’ He whispered so quietly that Lan Zhan figured it out by reading his lips rather than hearing him. He smiled and nodded softly in response, and Wei Ying winked at him before he crept through the corridor all the way up to Lan Zhan’s room. Wei Ying’s black clothes camouflaged his presence as he disappeared upstairs into the darkness of the house, leaving Lan Zhan alone in the obscurity of the hallway. His heartbeat was so elevated at sight and the whole situation that for a moment he was scared it could wake his uncle up.
But even if Lan Qiren did wake up, Lan Zhan could always just say he was thirsty. If he ever needed an additional argument to get Wei Ying water, there it was. It would probably be the only cup of water Wei Ying would drink in the day, Lan Zhan supposed. He opened the fridge, took the Brita jug out and poured a glass in the faint, cold brightness of the incandescent light, chilly air calming down his rush of excitement.
When he got back to his room, he closed the door and only then turned the warm-toned bedside lamp on. Wei Ying was sprawled across Lan Zhan’s bed, his black hoodie on the floor.
‘Lan Zhan!’ Wei Ying sat up as soon as the room lit up softly. His eyes were bright with joy so honest that Lan Zhan had no doubts he was just as happy to see him. His heart might have skipped a beat at the realisation. It was so much hassle to meet lately, especially considering that his uncle still didn’t approve of their friendship. The secret phone calls, last-minute plans and sneaking around was not something Lan Zhan ever imagined himself to be doing. But with Wei Ying, not only he was doing all of that, but he was waiting for it, yearning to do all of it.
When Wei Ying smiled at him, Lan Zhan knew it was worth the wait.
He would wait his entire life just to get a single smile from Wei Ying.
‘Wei Ying.’ He responded softly, handing him the water. ‘Have you been well?’ Lan Zhan pulled his chair and rolled it over, sitting near the bed.
Wei Ying gulped the water down, confirming Lan Zhan’s suspicion that he definitely hadn’t been hydrated enough.
‘Busy. Tired.’ Wei Ying admitted, speaking quietly. ‘How about you? I missed you a lot, and then… Wait. I have something for you.’ He grabbed his backpack and got something out of it. He handed Lan Zhan a pack of matcha sugar cookies from the bakery near the headquarters of Nie Music. ‘I was nearby, and I remembered how much you liked those when we went there for tea last time, and I thought it would make you happy to have some, and suddenly I just missed you so much, but I was so busy, so I could only come over now, hope this isn’t too late for you and…’ He blabbered.
‘Not too late. It’s okay if it’s you, Wei Ying.’
Wei Ying stopped talking and seemed to calm down at the sound of Lan Zhan’s voice. Lan Zhan opened the packet quietly and offered some cookies to Wei Ying, who grabbed one. Soon, the soft sound of the crunch and crumble of the treat echoed the room. Both of them stayed quiet for a while, and Lan Zhan could sense the stress that Wei Ying was under slowly melting away.
‘So Lan Zhan, how are you?’ Wei Ying started again, cleaning up the crumbs that appeared on Lan Zhan’s perfectly made creaseless bed.
‘I am well.’ Lan Zhan responded. Knowing instinctively that Wei Ying wanted him to say more, Lan Zhan proceeded to tell him in a calm, quiet tone about antics their classmates had been up to. He spoke about the composition of a chillwave set he found earlier that he enjoyed. About the new author he discovered, and how good the writing was. Lan Zhan handed over a couple of books to Wei Ying, who claimed to be keen to read them too, even though they both knew he likely would not have enough time to do so.
All that time Wei Ying listened, quietly, his eyes never leaving Lan Zhan’s face. He looked attentive and put together in a way so unusual for him, it would only happen sometimes, only when it was just the two of them.
Blessed was the warm, dim light that hid the blush taking over Lan Zhan’s ears, burning under Wei Ying’s gaze.
‘So, Telling My Stories is officially out.’ Wei Ying stated eventually. Lan Zhan hummed – he knew. ‘It’s doing okay.’ Wei Ying continued. He would never boast to Lan Zhan, or even admit that his career was doing anything better than okay, but Lan Zhan followed it all on his own record.
‘More than okay.’ Lan Zhan noted. ‘It’s on top of lists in many countries.’
‘Yeah, like, people are losing their shit over it.’ Wei Ying laughed in response. ‘So the management suggested I release a couple of remixes. I will be remixing my own track, how crazy is that?’ He shook his head and sighed. ‘Do you want to listen to the sample I made for the first one? It’s almost ready. Here.’ Wei Ying fished his iPod out from the side pocket of his backpack and leaned in, handing Lan Zhan his earphones. He pressed play.
Lan Zhan listened while observing Wei Ying watchfully. He was picking on his cuticle, fidgeting nervously.
When the sample was over, he passed the iPod back to Wei Ying.
‘And? What do you think?’
‘You know it’s good.’ Lan Zhan noted. ‘Wei Ying. What are you really worried about?’ He asked.
Wei Ying huffed.
‘How do you…’ He started, but didn’t finish the question and smiled instead. ‘It’s nothing big, really. Just that… I am not sure I am in the right position to do that yet if that makes sense. I am still so new in the scene, you know? And there are so many people criticising me, of course, it all happened so fast, and I am very young, so it’s understandable. So I guess… I am just a bit worried about what the reactions can be like.’ He admitted.
Lan Zhan nodded. He understood – he had seen some of those comments himself. Whenever he had a chance, he would put effort into reporting them as it was mostly just baseless bullying.
‘Some people will criticise you no matter what you do.’ Lan Zhan noted after a moment of silence. ‘It does not reflect on you. But on them.’
‘Lan Zhan. You always know what to say.’ Wei Ying smiled. ‘You are right. But… Sometimes those comments are just too much.’ He sighed and threw himself back on the bed, his messy hair spilling like black ink on Lan Zhan’s white pillowcase. ‘I swear there are moments when it feels like some asshole has a personal vendetta against me. It literally sounds like the same people commenting mean stuff on anything I post or on what’s written about me.’ He heaved.
‘They are jealous of Wei Ying.’ Lan Zhan said softly, hoping to calm him down. He could only begin to imagine the pressure Wei Ying was under, feeling powerless against it himself.
Wei Ying sat up.
‘There is nothing to be jealous of!’ He protested, raising his voice. Lan Zhan released a soft shushing sound, reminding him of the situation they were in, with his whole family asleep just few rooms away. ‘Sorry, I’ll be quiet.’ Wei Ying whispered and fell back onto the pillows. ‘There really isn't. No one knows how much work it can be. They think I just, like, press a button and off it goes.’
‘Then you should not care about their opinion.’
‘I guess sometimes it just makes me wonder… If I am even good enough. Compared to the others.’
Lan Zhan watched the flash of Wei Ying’s big eyes as he stared at the ceiling. He wished there was more he could do for Wei Ying in this situation, but all he could offer were some more words of comfort. He tried to find the right words, in his head, come up with the right way to express what he felt: that Wei Ying was good enough, and not only that. He was more than good enough, he didn’t need to try harder than he felt comfortable to just to impress others.
‘The only person you should ever compete with is yourself.’ He finally decided to say.
Wei Ying turned his head to the side and looked Lan Zhan in the eyes. His lips curved up softly. He stayed quiet for what was a long while for him, always fidgeting and restless, and then he swallowed before saying:
‘Ah Lan Zhan, you really are something else. How can you be like this? You always know just what to say and what to do. You are so amazing. I really wish I was more like you! I truly consider myself so lucky to have you in my life. Finding someone like you in this lifetime is more than I deserve. Even if the whole world turns against me, as long as I have you I will be fine. Thank you, Lan Zhan.’ Wei Ying said all of that not glancing away from Lan Zhan even for a second.
‘Mn.’ Lan Zhan murmured. ‘No need to thank me.’ He felt the burn from his ears spread to his neck. ‘I will go put the dishes away.’ He got up quickly and took Wei Ying’s glass before leaving the room.
Lan Zhan couldn’t have Wei Ying look at him like that , sprawled out on his bed in the middle of the night. He should probably tell him he was tired – he had school in the morning. He should make sure Wei Ying gets a taxi and goes home, and also gets some sleep on a rare night he seems to have time off. That was what he should do.
The moment Lan Zhan stepped back to his room, he knew he would not be able to do what he should. Wei Ying had fallen asleep, curled up on Lan Zhan’s pillow. Sleeping, Lan Zhan could tell precisely how tired he was: without the bright spark of interest in his eyes and the blinding force of his smile Lan Zhan finally noticed the dark circles on his face. He also looked slimmer, his cheeks had gotten more hollow.
Tired did not seem to be enough to describe the state he was in. Wei Ying looked exhausted .
Lan Zhan sighed.
He couldn’t bear the thought of waking him up in this state. Maybe… Maybe if he set his alarm early enough, he would be able to let Wei Ying out before his uncle comes downstairs, he figured. That was really the only option because if he woke Wei Ying up now, then by the time he gets home and falls asleep again, he would have barely a couple of hours of sleep left at best. He knew Wei Ying would get fully awake on his way back and probably proceed to throw himself back into work or start stressing out again.
So Lan Zhan slipped one hand slowly under Wei Ying’s face, and the other one under his waist. He lifted him just ever so slightly and rested the pleasantly heavy weight of his face comfortably against the pillow. He looked for more covers, fully aware that he wouldn’t be able to get the duvet from under Wei Ying’s body and wrapped him in a velvety, thick blue blanket with a cloud pattern. Wei Ying moved unconsciously in his sleep, curling up under the softness of the fabric. He suddenly looked small, so much smaller than he really was, when he was cuddling into Lan Zhan’s bed. Lan Zhan wished he could wrap him in his arms, surround him with the warmth of his own body. Wei Ying was close enough for Lan Zhan to touch and embrace the way he always would do in his dreams. Instead, though, he just tucked him in more, hiding his tired body in the comforting warmth of covers. Lan Zhan hoped the blanket was enough to protect him from the chillness of the night. He also hoped that he would be enough to protect Wei Ying from whatever the future had in store for them, come what may.
Wei Ying was strange, and so, so beautifully enchanting. He was a mystery, a riddle that Lan Zhan solved so many times, and knew so well, but that still surprised him every day. Like a Rubik Cube that Lan Zhan had done thousands of times and knew every piece of, but that would always come up with something new, with a surprise, a new solution and unique ways. Lan Zhan couldn’t wait to see what more Wei Ying would bring into his life, what more methods would he find to challenge them both. He was just so perfect to Lan Zhan, and Lan Zhan was hypnotised. But then, who wasn’t around this enigma of a person. Even before the fame, he had turned every head, filling up every room with his presence and Lan Zhan was surprised Wei Ying had noticed him at all.
But he had, and they had been inseparable ever since.
Wei Ying brought out a side of Lan Zhan he hadn’t known he had before. Wei Ying wanted to know him, and it made Lan Zhan wish to get to know his own self too. He wholeheartedly enjoyed the process of becoming , one that Wei Ying’s playfulness and enthusiasm had sparked. For Wei Ying, it was clear that Lan Zhan was the one that could calm him, the one that could challenge him, the one Wei Ying drifted to naturally. Their relationship was special – Wei Ying had once called them soulmates, and Lan Zhan had to agree. If soulmates indeed existed, they definitely were ones. They knew each other, really knew each other, and Lan Zhan couldn’t ever imagine feeling closer to anyone than he felt with Wei Ying.
Until now.
Because now, no matter how close the two of them were, Lan Zhan had already fallen in love with his soulmate. He had fallen in love so hard that there was no way in the world he could imagine anything feeling nearly close enough, probably. He wanted to hold Wei Ying, kiss Wei Ying, drown in his scent, he… He wanted to touch the parts of his skin that no one else could ever see and count all the freckles on Wei Ying’s complexion. Even just a t-shirt was too much of a division between them for Lan Zhan, frankly.
Still, sometimes he felt like he could only watch Wei Ying from afar, their friendship putting him in this torturous zone of being so, so close, but never quite closing the gap between them. And it was causing Lan Zhan to secretly fall apart.
Lan Zhan took his slippers off and sneaked into the innermost corner of the bed, squeezed in between Wei Ying’s body and the wall. He laid on his side, not much space left with his friend in the middle. He lifted himself up on one elbow, and, just for a moment, allowed himself to stare.
He let himself to admire the long, thick curtain of eyelashes that framed Wei Ying’s bright eyes, now resting with his eyelids shut. The little tense spot on his forehead that Lan Zhan wanted to pressure softly and make the stiffness go away. His sharp cheekbones, and the hollow valley under them on his face that had recently gotten so much skinnier. Lan Zhan took a mental note to remind Wei Ying to have enough meals, no matter how busy his schedule was.
Lan Zhan’s eyes lingered on the little mole under Wei Ying’s lip. The small mark that was just driving him crazy, luring him towards Wei Ying’s lips constantly. Lan Zhan raised his hand and outlined the shape of his friends’ slightly agape mouth, fingertips faltering just millimetres away. He wanted to touch, with every atom of his existence, but he resisted the temptation, withdrawing his hand. He listened to Wei Ying’s little, regular breaths to calm himself down. Wei Ying’s face fluttered a shadow of a smile, the tense point in his forehead relaxing slightly.
Lan Zhan couldn’t help but wonder what he was dreaming about.
Wei Ying leaned back on the pillows, the blanket sliding off his shoulder and his fringe slipping over his forehead. Lan Zhan noticed his nose twitch a little, irritated by the stray strand of hair tingling ticklishly at the tip. His whole face got tense again.
Before Lan Zhan could react and stop himself from what he was doing, he reached in and brushed the hair away, his fingers caressing Wei Ying’s skin. He felt his breath catch in his throat at the sensation of feeling the warm frame of Wei Ying’s face under his fingertips.
After this, though, Wei Ying’s irritation made room for another sleepy smile, so tender and sweet Lan Zhan couldn’t resist kissing it. Lan Zhan leaned in and closed the distance between him and Wei Ying softly. He planted a soft kiss on Wei Ying’s slightly chapped lips, just brushing them together, nothing more than that. Lan Zhan felt the warmth taking all over his body as he closed his eyes and left his mouth to linger on Wei Ying’s for just a few seconds, just a moment longer, just a magical, clandestine while.
He kissed Wei Ying.
His whole universe did a full one-eighty at the realisation; his heart was attempting to break free of his chest.
He shouldn’t have done that. It wasn’t courteous.
Wei Ying was still sleeping, with a blissful smile, absolutely unaware.
Lan Zhan took a deep breath, gulping. He needed to get out of this bed, of being in such intimate proximity with Wei Ying before he does something stupid again. Maybe he should just sleep on the floor. Or take a cold shower.
He pulled away in a quick, harsh motion.
‘Lan Zhan.’ Wei Ying murmured in his sleep at that, bringing himself back, closer into Lan Zhan’s warmth, his palms suddenly finding their way to grasp on Lan Zhan’s t-shirt. He leaned his head into the crook of Lan Zhan’s neck sleepily.
Lan Zhan could feel his crazy heart skip a beat. Wei Ying. Wei Ying was cuddling him, in his sleep, murmuring his name in a way so sweet it made Lan Zhan melt into the darkness. Wei Ying’s little breaths tickled Lan Zhan’s collarbone in a way that was both intimate and arousing.
Lan Zhan had fantasised in the past about getting those breaths to go faster, frantic. About kissing Wei Ying breathless and making him come undone, causing him to crumble in Lan Zhan’s hands. About pulling the kind of sounds from him that the crowds would never hear. About making his gasps turn into nothing more but blazing, heavy air against his skin, so much hotter than the ones he could feel in that moment.
Lan Zhan was about to go absolutely insane. He was ashamed of what the smallest thing Wei Ying did, or even just a thought of Wei Ying, was capable of doing to both his mind and his body. His raging hormones weren’t helping, he was only human.
‘Lan Zhan.’ Wei Ying murmured again, his head tilting into the warmth of Lan Zhan’s body, looking for more contact. The sound of his voice was luscious and thick like honey that was dripping down Lan Zhan’s neck, all the way to his heart.
Wei Ying would surely be the death of him one day, Lan Zhan smiled faintly.
He granted himself a moment to hold him back, close to his chest, Lan Zhan’s arm resting around Wei Ying’s slim waist, exactly where he had always wanted his arms to be. Wei Ying hummed, satisfied, and Lan Zhan pulled Wei Ying closer, just a little bit closer , just for this moment. The moment he knew he shouldn’t have, but he’d already stolen a kiss, and so he couldn’t stop himself because apparently love made him a thief.
‘See you tomorrow, Wei Ying.’ He whispered, burying his face into dark locks of Wei Ying’s messy hair, knowing well his friend isn’t able to hear him, that he wouldn’t receive a reply.
Oh, how he wished to see Wei Ying fall asleep and wake up every day for the rest of eternity, being close like this. Maybe then, one day, Wei Ying would wake up and realise how perfect they were for each other. Because now Lan Zhan started hoping that it wasn’t unrequited. That maybe Wei Ying whispering Lan Zhan’s name in his sleep, with that blissful smile on his face, and those needy hands grabbing onto Lan Zhan’s warmth meant something.
For now, though, he had to let him go and wait. Luckily, patience had always been one of his strongest virtues.
‘I will never give you up, Wei Ying.’
Lan Zhan planted one more soft peck on the crown of the head of the boy he wholeheartedly loved and turned over to lay on his back, slowly untangling himself from Wei Ying’s hands. He pushed himself closer to the wall, trying his best to keep the distance that he hoped one day they would close again, but next time both of them being conscious, knowing, awake. He fell asleep to the magical, dreamy melody of Wei Ying’s sleepy breaths in the darkness of his bedroom.