Work Text:
Daichi blinked his eyes open, his spirit woken easily by soft, frustrated sighs and light streaming in from under the crack of his bedroom door. He rolled over and checked the time, squinting at his phone.
2:38 AM.
Damn it, Suga.
He pulled a shirt over his head and padded out into the living room of their shared apartment. Sure enough, sprawled in the middle of an explosion of colored paper in all shapes and sizes, markers, tape rolls, and sheets of plastic cover, was Sugawara Koushi.
Bent over a large rectangle of colored paper, Suga traced huge letters that spelled “Jill On A Hill” with a steady hand, whatever that meant. Off to one side were a low stack of what looked like finished teaching materials in neat handwriting, all covered with plastic or clear tape. On his other side were more scraps of paper, and what looked like print outs of babies wearing big bibs.
Suga paused every so often to circle his wrist and shoulder, or scratch through his already mussed-up mop of gray hair. He had marker stains all over his arms and floor imprints on his knees. A mug of coffee sat on the low table, long gone cold.
Daichi sighed, then carefully made his way around the mess before sitting himself on an empty spot on the floor. He noticed another marker stain on Suga’s chin and resisted the urge to thumb it away. Only when he was properly seated did Suga notice him at all.
“Daichi! Did I wake you? I was trying to be quiet I swear.”
He shook his head. “It’s alright. Why are you still up?”
A flare of impatience flashed in Suga’s eyes, but it was gone as quick as it came. Not that it stopped Daichi from noticing.
“Sorry, shouldn’t have asked.”
“No, sorry. Uh, I have to finish these by tomorrow.” He looked around the messy floor and grabbed his phone from under a shuffle of papers. “Hell, it’s almost 3. By later, then.”
“What time is your demo?”
“7 AM.”
Daichi looked at his boyfriend and grew deeply concerned. It was the midst of finals week for them both, but while all Daichi had to prepare for are the actual exams, Suga had to prepare for those alongside this final teaching demo. It wasn’t the first time he stayed up through the night preparing his materials for the next morning, but he knew this final teaching demo was different.
This time, instead of with his group (as they had done for the past three demos), Suga would be standing in front of his class alone. That, coupled with the panic of still not having his materials finished, was bound to make anyone extra sensitive.
“How can I help?”
“What?”
He didn’t mean to snap, but neither did Suga have time to talk. He saw Daichi wince and mentally chided himself for his impatience.
Calm down, Koushi.
Daichi looked sheepish. “Sorry. Uhm, real quick: is there anything I can do to help you?”
It’s not that he didn’t trust Daichi; it’s just that his boyfriend was not exactly the most careful of people with his hands, and he tended to be clumsy sometimes. Still, Suga was a practical sort. If he could give Daichi a task that was impossible to mess up, he might finish everything right on time.
“I promise I won’t make a mess of your things.” Suga looked up at Daichi, who was giving him a knowing look. “I’m not good with this stuff, but maybe I can pseudo-laminate for you? Or coffee! Do you want another mug?”
Now Suga felt sheepish. He had less of a filter on his face when he was stressed, and he knew it well. Daichi must have seen him second-guessing whether to let him help or not. He sighed in an attempt to calm down.
“Yeah, pseudo-laminate those babies, please? Thanks.”
Relieved, Daichi took a thick roll of clear tape and gathered up the baby print-outs he could reach. He has watched Suga do it before, and it was an easy task: he just had to make sure he covered the entire material with clear tape to make it more durable. When it came to Kindergarteners and their frisky hands, it pays to strengthen one’s materials.
For a while the apartment was quiet, save for the scratching of Suga’s markers and the squeak of Daichi unwinding the tape. As they worked, Daichi watched Suga move from one material to another, writing everything out in neat, clever fonts. Daichi’s handwriting was readable at best, and it never failed to amaze him how Suga could write so well, in a lot of different ways.
And then there was his teaching. For some reason, Suga decided to pursue teaching English to grade schoolers. Daichi knew his friend has always been good in dealing with those younger than him—he knew when to be strict, and when to let loose. He’s never seen Suga teach, but Daichi imagined he would be much the same as when he used to interact with their kouhai back in high school.
“Shit!”
The sudden curse pulled Daichi out of his daydream. There seemed to be an error in what Suga wrote, so he harshly balled up the entire piece of paper and went to grab another. It was a big piece, and hardly used.
“Couldn’t you have cut out the wrong part and used the rest of it?”
Suga didn’t even look up at him this time. His grip on the marker was feral, his mouth set into a grim line, and his eyes were muddled and heavy with fatigue. A nerve jumped in his jaw, and his body was trembling. Daichi knew that look; he’d seen in before.
Suga was unravelling.
“No time,” was all he said as he restarted on a fresh sheet.
Daichi put his tape down. “Suga—”
His boyfriend whirled his head to face him, no longer trying at all to conceal his impatience.
“Are you going to help or not? I don’t have time for this.”
“Time for what? Suga, listen—”
Suga’s face grew brilliantly red. Any tighter and his grip would have snapped the marker. “Stop pestering me, for fuck’s sake! I need to finish these in three hours!”
Despite himself, Daichi snapped too. “And I’m trying to help you! How do you expect to teach well tomorrow when you’re this tired?”
“None of your business!”
“Why the hell are you yelling at me? I’m the only one here!”
“Well damn me if I asked you!”
Suga was fuming. His breath came in shallow exhales through his nose. His eyes were glassy, threatening to spill over, as they often got when he was extremely upset. His low voice shook just slightly, but it sounded loud in the silent room.
“Just go to sleep, Daichi. I got this.”
Daichi’s heart clenched. No you don’t.
Heaving a long-drawn sigh, Daichi got up and made his way to Suga. Lightly, so as not to make him mess up his writing, he enfolded his hand over Suga’s: tanned skin meeting soft and fair. Suga didn’t resist. Slowly, slowly, he lifted both the hand and the marker from the paper, then tossed the marker away so that it wouldn’t do any damage.
“Daichi, I swear, I—”
And because Daichi knew his man, he ignored the protest and gently drew Suga away from his materials. Cupping the former setter’s face in his palms, he made Suga look up at him.
With a blink, the angry tears in his deep, angel eyes tumbled down his reddened cheeks.
“Oh, baby.”
Suga lowered his head in embarrassment, only making it easier for Daichi to gather him into his chest. Gripping Daichi’s shirt with trembling fingers, Suga let out his frustration in silent sobs and shuddering hiccups. Daichi stroked his back in long, heavy caresses and let him cry it out.
“I need to… I can’t…”
“I know, babe, I know.”
Daichi hardly ever used such cheesy nicknames; that was more up Suga’s alley. But because he knew Suga felt cherished with words and touch, he let the words flow into his usual language, flow in time with his hand sliding down Suga’s back. He could feel a warm patch spreading across his chest and paid it no mind.
Suga’s voice was muffled against his shirt when he finally spoke again. “I can’t mess this up.”
“You won’t. I know you won’t.”
“How can you be so sure?”
Drawing Suga away by his shoulders, Daichi thumbed away the tears, along with the persistent marker stain on his chin.
“Because you love what you do, and that alone makes you unstoppable.”
His beautiful brown eyes shone with fresh tears; they reflected the fluorescent light like flecks of gold. Daichi had always thought that Suga’s eyes were dazzling, and it was a punch to the gut to see them so full of doubt.
On the outside, during his best, Suga was confident and playful. He never overthinks his mistakes and was always up to try again. He knew how to trust others, and he knew how to trust himself.
But there are times, such as then, when Suga let himself succumb to the pressure. At his worst, he struggled between wanting to do his best and being faced with how much he couldn’t do. He countered it with aggressiveness and an iron grip on himself and others, which eventually results in average – definitely not stellar – outcomes.
However, being awake for too long and facing a looming deadline he wasn’t ready for, Suga was just about ready to break.
And break he did.
Chest heavy, Suga burrowed into Daichi’s body; curled himself in a ball so tight in hopes that he could just make his way into Daichi’s skin. And Daichi, knowing exactly what he needed, only wrapped his arms around his boyfriend and rocked them both in a steady rhythm.
It took a good half hour of crying to get Suga to calm down. When he finally looked up, Daichi placed a soft kiss on his forehead.
“Okay?”
Suga nodded. “Thank you. You always know what I need.”
“And you, me. Now, do tell,” said Daichi as he reached around him to take one half-laminated baby printout. “What on earth are these?”
When Suga finally, finally, broke out into a soft grin, Daichi knew he was going to be alright.
Daichi waited outside the school where Suga was doing his teaching demo, foot anxiously tapping on the ground.
They had managed to finish all his materials in the next hour between the two of them, which gave Suga time to sleep for a while. When Daichi woke at past 8 in the morning, the space beside him on the bed was empty, and the two bags of materials from the living room were gone.
There was also message on his phone.
From: Suga (sent 6:57 AM)
[I’m almost up! Wish me luck!]
Daichi hurriedly punched in a reply, knowing that he was probably in the middle of teaching already.
From: Daichi (sent 8:26 AM)
[You don’t need it ^^ love you!]
After his morning class, Daichi made his way to the school and has been waiting there ever since. He planned to surprise Suga, take them both out for lunch to unwind, before going on to their afternoon classes. He wanted to hear all about the demo as early as possible, and he knew Suga would be more than excited to share.
Finally, the bell rang, and the building was soon filled with high-pitched chatters and hoots. Right as he peeked in through the gate, what he saw reduced his heart into a melted glob of goo.
Surrounded by children almost half his size, with many reaching up to hold onto his arms, was none other than the love of his life.
Suga’s lips were parted into what Daichi knew was a lilting laugh. Gone were the gaunt shadows of stress from his brow and cheeks from the night before. His face glowed with happiness as he reached to hold onto another child perched on his back. Still other children hung onto his hands and legs and wouldn’t let go.
“Suga sensei, don’t go!”
“Teach us some more!”
Suga chuckled as he tried to keep a firm hold on the ones clinging to him, so as not to let them fall. “Sensei has to go—”
And then, he locked eyes with Daichi.
Beaming with pride, Daichi sauntered into the school grounds, hands coolly dug into his pockets to stop himself from sweeping Suga into his arms then and there. Suga straightened up, almost forgetting the children around him.
“Daichi! What are you doing here?”
The students, bless them, were not stupid. They saw how happy their Suga sensei looked when the big man walked toward them.
“Is that your boyfriend, sensei?”
Suga’s face turned pink as he struggled on what to say. Daichi laughed and crouched down to the kids’ eye level.
“I’m his boyfriend, yes. I’m Daichi. Nice to meet you!” There came a chorus of ‘hello’s and ‘hi’s, then Daichi added, “You didn’t give Suga sensei a hard time, did you?”
“No!” “Never!” “We love Suga sensei!”
Suga marveled at the sight. Seeing Daichi interacting with children, making them laugh and joking with them, was something he only ever saw in his daydreams. Before he could stop himself, their future stretched out before him like a montage: adopting children, raising them, living in a small apartment with a happy family.
He didn’t realize that he was crying until one child pointed it out. “Are you okay, sensei? Are we hurting you?”
Suga hurriedly wiped his tears away and crouched down as well, holding the child in his arms. “No, precious. I’m just really happy. Sometimes people cry when they’re happy.”
“Oh, I know that!” said another child, coming in to hug Suga. “Grandpa said it happens when your heart is so happy, some of it has to come out your eyes.”
“Yeah! Or you could die!”
Oh lord, they’re adorable.
Daichi caught Suga’s eyes, lips curled into a big smile. And Suga couldn’t do much else but smile right back.
With the help of the school teachers and the promise to come visit them when he could, Suga finally managed to disentangle himself from his students. He walked with a light skip in his step, one bag of materials slung over his shoulder while his other bag swung from Daichi’s. And because he was unabashedly happy, he took Daichi’s hand and held on tight.
“That was quite positively the best teaching demo I’ve ever had.”
Daichi laughed, pulling Suga in to kiss him quickly on the cheek. “Told you you’d make it.”
“Daichi! We’re in public, sir.”
“What? No one’s around.”
Rolling his eyes, Suga swung their intertwined hands. After a moment, he said, “You look great with kids, Daichi.”
“So do you, but I guess that’s a requirement.”
“I want to raise kids with you.”
Because it came from out of the blue, Daichi abruptly stopped in his tracks. He looked properly shocked, so much that Suga quickly masked the disappointment on his face with a teasing smile.
“Damn, you don’t have to look so scared! It was just a joke!”
Daichi was quiet. He stared long at Suga, face unreadable, until the latter grew uncomfortable.
“Babe, seriously, it’s no big deal.”
“Well damn, Suga, I wanted to be the one to propose.”
Suga didn’t register his meaning at once. It sunk in in small pieces, even as his heart rate increased in rapid increments until it felt like a bird was trying to escape from his chest.
“What?”
This time, it was Daichi who got wonderfully pink in the face. Reaching up to rub the back of his neck and looking everywhere except for the boy in front of him, Daichi struggled to find the words.
“It’s not like I’ve never thought of it. I just wanted to wait until we were both financially ready before asking. Maybe when we graduate, I don’t know.”
“You… want to marry me?”
“And raise kids with you, and grow old with you.” This time, Daichi looked at Suga square in the face. There was no hint of wavering in his eyes. “I can’t cook a fig, but I can try to learn. I know you don’t want to be fully dependent on someone either, so we can always share the load. But for what it’s worth, there’s no one else in the world I’d rather build a home with than you.”
Suga felt tears welling up in his eyes again, and it hasn’t even been an hour since his last cry. “How many times is Sugawara Koushi going to be a blubbering mess within 24 hours?” challenge.
“Damn it, Daichi, you’re going to dehydrate me. I wasn’t even trying to propose just yet. I just thought the kids part would be a good idea.”
Overcoming his embarrassment, Daichi laughed and stepped forward, wrapping Suga in a tight hug. Suga’s arms automatically reached behind his back, gripping his shoulders with those long, slender fingers.
“We don’t have to hurry,” mumbled Daichi in his shoulder. “We can take it slow; each build our careers first. We have time.”
“Yeah,” replied Suga softly, “yeah we do. We have forever.”