Chapter Text
Faking her boyfriend’s death seems straightforward at first.
Betty does everything right. She calls Charles for help and gets rid of the evidence tying her to Jughead’s murder. She plays the part of the grieving, vengeful girlfriend with their enemies at Stonewall Prep. She even pays creepy Dr. Curdle Jr. to make Jughead look like a corpse when the Stonies barge into the morgue.
But it’s still not enough.
As her mother begins to visit Riverdale High to work on her documentary about Jughead’s death, Betty starts to hear whispers, rumors that not everyone is buying their charade.
A few days after Jughead’s “death” is announced, Kevin corners Betty in the hallway.
“Betty, have you noticed what everyone’s saying?” he asks, wide-eyed.
“What, Kev? Is it about Jughead?”
“People don’t think he’s really dead. A lot of them are suspicious,” Kevin tells her.
Betty sighs. This certainly isn’t ideal. “Kevin, that’s ridiculous. Tell everyone that’s impossible, and they’re acting crazy.”
“Is it really so impossible, though?” Kevin says. “I mean, we live in Riverdale.”
“Oh my god, do you hear yourself? My boyfriend is dead. How can you say that to me?” Betty tries her best to sound distraught, blinking quickly and making herself take sharp breaths.
Kevin holds up his hands. “Okay, okay, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have mentioned it. I just thought you should know.”
Later, Betty finds Veronica and Archie in the student lounge. They’re sitting on one of the couches, Veronica’s legs propped up in Archie’s lap.
Sitting down in one of the chairs across from them, Betty announces: “We have a problem.”
Veronica arches an eyebrow. “What’s wrong, B?”
“People all over school are saying that Jughead isn’t dead. Even Kevin is starting to have doubts.”
“Wait, what?” Archie leans forward, frowning. “Why would they think that?”
“I don’t know,” Betty replies. She glances around nervously, lowering her voice. “All I know is: it’s only so long before these rumors reach the Stonies, and then it’s all over.”
“I can’t believe this,” Veronica says. “What kind of soulless monsters turn their classmate’s death into some crazy conspiracy theory?”
“Welcome to Riverdale, Ronnie,” Archie mutters.
Betty buries her face in her hands. “I don’t get it. We got rid of all the evidence. We had a whole funeral, and Donna and Bret saw Jughead’s corpse in the morgue. I mean, what else could we possibly do?”
She glances over at Veronica and sees a pensive look on her face. Betty knows that look, sees the gears turning. “What is it, V?” she asks.
Veronica is tapping her chin with one finger, grinning slowly. “I have an idea. If we want people to believe that Jughead is really dead, then something needs to happen that would be impossible if he were truly still alive.”
“Like what?” Archie asks.
Veronica glances back and forth between Betty and Archie. “You two…need to date.”
Archie scoffs as Betty lets out a short laugh. “Come on, V,” she says. “That’s insane.”
“Yeah, what would that even prove?” Archie adds.
“Just humor me,” Veronica tells them. “Think about it. Everyone at school knows how serious Betty and Jughead are, and Archiekins and I are basically attached at the hip.” She squeezes Archie’s hand affectionately. “Nothing would ever happen to disturb the status quo if Jughead was alive.”
As much as Betty hates to admit it, Veronica has a point. “Okay, fine. Let’s say we do this. How are we going to make it believable?”
“Wait, Betty, are you sure about this?” Archie asks her.
“Arch, the Stonies tried to murder Jughead. I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure they pay for that.”
Archie sighs. “Okay. I guess I’m in if you are.”
Veronica claps her hands together. “Perfect. And as for how we’ll make it believable, leave that to me.” She stands up, grabbing her bag. “I’m going to be late for class, but how about we meet at the bunker later to go over the game plan?”
Betty and Archie both nod in agreement, exchanging an apprehensive glance as Veronica walks away.
—
“Betty, are you out of your mind?”
Jughead paces the floor of the bunker, trying to wrap his head around what his girlfriend is telling him. “You want to pretend to date Archie? While my supposed dead body is still warm?”
“I know it sounds crazy, Jug, but it makes sense,” Betty says. “Archie and Veronica will be here soon, and Veronica will explain everything.”
Jughead thinks he has the right to be skeptical, since it wasn’t all that long ago that Betty was pining for Archie and sharing an unfortunate kiss with him in front of Cheryl Blossom’s house. But Betty is giving him a pleading look, and he figures it’s worth a shot to at least hear the plan. “Alright, I’ll listen to whatever scheme you guys have concocted.”
When Archie and Veronica arrive, the four of them take a seat around the table in the middle of the bunker.
“So,” Veronica begins, “Jughead, as we know, was declared dead a few days ago. But now it appears that we have some…skeptics in our midst at Riverdale High.”
“After three years of masked serial killers, organ harvesting cults, and people in gargoyle costumes running around the woods, this is the thing that people can’t believe?” Jughead says.
“Unfortunately for us, yes,” Betty replies, giving him a sympathetic look.
Veronica continues. “As I’m sure Betty has informed you, Jughead, I have a plan. A Betty-Archie relationship will shock our classmates to their very core, enough to dispel any doubts that our dear friend Jughead Jones is indeed no longer one of the living.”
“So what exactly are we going to…do?” Betty asks.
“I have it all planned out,” Veronica says. “It needs to be dramatic, yet realistic. Here’s what I’m thinking: we drop hints in front of someone who loves to gossip, someone like Cheryl. And then we stage a kiss-”
Jughead, Betty and Archie all interrupt at the same time.
“I don’t know-”
“Is that really-”
“Ronnie-”
Veronica rolls her eyes. “Relax. It’ll just be once, to really seal the deal. Once someone exposes the kiss, I’ll play the part of the scorned girlfriend, Betty and Archie will be “official” in the eyes of our classmates, and there you have it. An established Barchie romance.”
Jughead cringes at Veronica’s phrasing, but he has to admit that the idea has merit. He waves a hand. “Okay, you have my blessing and all that."
Veronica gets a text alert and glances down at her phone. “Right on time. I invited Cheryl to Pop’s tonight so we could get started as soon as possible.”
“Ronnie, what are you talking about?” Archie asks.
Veronica takes his arm. “You, Archiekins, are about to take Betty on her first date.”
“What? Right now?” Betty interjects.
“Yes,” Veronica says. “Just go to Pop’s, try to look sad about Jughead, and maybe throw in a handhold for good measure.”
Betty sighs, but she gets up from her seat. “This is so insane.”
Archie stands as well, his shoulders tense as he glances warily between Betty and Veronica. “Agreed,” he says. “But I guess we better get going.”
Veronica waves as they climb up the ladder out of the bunker. Once he hears the thud of the entrance being sealed, Jughead turns to look at her.
“How are you so…confident about this?” he asks. He can’t tell whether it’s just bravado, or whether she’s actually this excited about their plan.
Veronica smirks. “I love a good scheme, and it’s been ages since I’ve been a part of one that didn’t involve my father. Besides, it’s not like we have anything to worry about.”
Jughead raises his eyebrows. “You trust Archie?”
“Of course,” Veronica scoffs. “You don’t?”
“I trust Archie, and Betty, but the déjà vu is hard to avoid, isn't it? You remember sophomore year.”
Jughead notices her wringing her hands under the table, the only crack in this otherwise perfectly crafted armor that he’s been able to spot so far. “We all did things we regret during sophomore year,” she says, rolling her eyes a little more dramatically than he feels is necessary. “I mean, weren’t you involved in an illegal drag race with a bunch of drug dealers?”
He has to admit that she does have a point, despite his persistent unease. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. It’s just hard to stomach the idea of my girlfriend and my best friend, together, in front of the entire school.”
Veronica stands, smiling brightly as she pats his shoulder. “There’s nothing to worry about. I trust Archie and you trust Betty. Just stay in the bunker, work on our case, and I’ll handle everything aboveground.”
She turns on her heel to leave, shoes clicking on the floor as she walks away. Jughead sighs and runs his hands through his hair. He still hasn’t gotten around to replacing his beanie since it was thrown into the fire, and he feels unbalanced without it.
This will be worth it, he thinks. Our plan will work, and everything will be okay.
He convinces himself that he believes the words.