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All around him was darkness.
It was so dark that when he woke up he wasn't sure if his eyes were open or not. There was a thick, heavy silence around him, and when he tried to move there was a flash of white-hot pain that shot up from his shin. Something solid and large was pinning it down, and if he moved his leg at all the ringing in his ears told him that he would pass out from the pain. His mind was sluggish, a thick fog lay over his thoughts, slowing them to a halt and his memories danced in the shadows just out of reach.
Where was he? What was he doing? Why was it so dark and how had he gotten his leg trapped?
Everything was a blur and try as he might, nothing seemed to be coming back to him. He was clearly hurt, but how? It took some time, but finally, the memories of an attack came back to him. He'd been out on patrol when he had heard the screaming. A group of Nomus had attacked the square close to where his father's agency had sent him to make an appearance.
By the time that Shoto had gotten there a bunch of other pros had also arrived on the scene. He remembered one had been Dynamight. Shoto was a little ashamed to admit that he took a moment to admire the blonde and the way that his eyes gleamed with excitement. Katsuki Bakugo was one of the best heroes, and while he had mellowed a little as he aged that didn't mean that he had lost his edge.
He was still as fierce as ever, and while the explosion from his gauntlet was drowned out by all the chaos around him, Shoto knew that Bakugo would be fighting with everything that he had. Not only to show that he was able to, but also because Bakugo was passionate. A lot of people would look at him and only see the anger and the shouting, but few would see that under that, Katsuki Bakugo was passionate about everything that he did. If it was something that Bakugo chose to spend any amount of his time on, then he was going to put his all into it.
That was just a fact about Dynamight that not many knew, but Shoto had seen him put everything he had into his hero training, and had watched as he climbed the ranks of the pros. He had gotten stupidly drunk in a spiteful celebration when Dynamight pushed past Endeavor in the charts, regardless of the fact that his relationship with his father was more or less mended.
Katsuki Bakugo had been someone that Shoto had found himself looking up to and admiring over the years. He was strong, fearless and incredibly attractive. What had been a high school crush that left a bitter taste of fear in his mouth had somehow grown into something more. Shoto hated himself for it, and he knew that he didn't stand a chance. Bakugo had made it clear to the press that his personal and his professional lives were never mixed. Nobody knew if Bakugo was dating anyone, or even what his sexuality was; which was all the more fun for the media to debate regularly.
In the unlikely case that Bakugo was interested in men, Shoto knew that it would have never been him. They never spoke, they didn't spend any time together and they surely had nothing in common. Dynamight was much more likely to date Red Riot or Chargebolt than he was to ever even look Shoto's way. So he had kept his feelings a secret. He had pushed them down and repressed them. It wasn't hard for Shoto to hold a secret close to his heart. His entire life had been secrets and hiding, what was one more?
A crash in the blackness shattered the memories and Shoto tried to see what was happening. There were no signs of light around him, and the air was filled with dust that was coating his lungs and choking him slowly.
He faintly remembered fighting. It had been long, and rough, and he had felt his quirk draining his energy fast. The edges of his vision had blurred but he had known that there was no way that he could give up. People were still in danger, the Nomu he had been fighting hadn't relented at all and Shoto knew that he would die before he let the thing go out and hurt more people. He remembered a deafening crack behind him, he remembered hearing his name.
He remembered Bakugo grabbing him and pulling him close. He remembered gauntlets pulling his head down covering him as the building came crashing around them. He remembered Bakugo!
"Bakugo?" Shoto called out, his voice hoarse from disuse and all the ash that surrounded him. The blonde had to be close by! There was no way that Bakugo hadn't been buried with him, and if he had gotten out he would have dragged Shoto out too. What if he was hurt? They needed help. He had to focus. Summoning his energy, Shoto was able to raise his left hand slightly to activate his quirk.
The sudden light of his flames made him wince as the brightness stung at his eyes, and it took him longer than he was happy with for his eyes to adjust. He was trapped in a tiny space, a thought that instantly sent panic racing through him to tighten around his chest. He had known that he was trapped, but somehow seeing how small the space was made it all more real. He killed his flames, plunging himself into darkness again as he gasped for breath.
Was something crushing his chest as well as his leg? He was going to die here, wasn't he? Buried under this building because he had gotten reckless. He was going to die because his leg was stuck and he would share this grave of plaster and brick with a man that he had loved silently for years.
"Icy-Hot?"
Bakugo's voice cracked, but it was somewhere to his right. Shoto choked back a sob at the sound. He sounded exhausted and hurt and it was still the most beautiful noise that Shoto had ever heard.
"Just fucking breathe for a second."
"B-Bakugo..." Shoto started to say, stopping to silently curse himself at how breathless and scared he sounded.
"Shut the fuck up and breathe!" Bakugo growled, sounding much more like himself. "I get it, small spaces aren't fun. So just breathe for a second."
Shoto stopped, pausing for a moment before doing as he was told. He closed his eyes – not that it made any difference if his eyes were open or not – and he took some slow and deep breaths. Breaths that filled his lungs with ash and left him coughing harshly. When he finally stopped coughing he could hear Bakugo's deep chuckle and it sent both a flash of anger, and something equally as hot to his gut.
"This isn't funny, Bakugo!" Shoto snapped, trying to move to free himself and crying out when he jerked his leg again.
"Of course it fucking isn't. You want me to cry instead Icy-Hot?" Bakugo snapped back, and it was moments like that where Shoto wondered why he needed to have such deep feelings for someone that was clearly an egotistical ass. Shoto groaned in reply, he could already feel the headache building in his skull. He half hoped to lose consciousness again so he wouldn't have to deal with Bakugo's mood.
"We need a plan."
"You think? I thought I'd curl up and take a nap. It's been a hard day." Bakugo snarked back.
"Bakugo! I'm being serious. This is serious!"
"Really? I fucking thought that everyone dropped buildings on themselves?"
Shoto could feel his blood pressure rising and focused on his breathing to calm himself before he tried to reply. "Will you just assess your injuries? What hurts?"
"The sound of your voice hurts."
Shoto glared towards the voice in the darkness. Really, why did he have to have feelings for Bakugo? He couldn't have developed feelings for Izuku? Izuku was sweet and caring. He was always there to support his loved ones, always eager to help. Izuku would have been a good choice. It would have made sense to fall for Izuku, but matters of the heart were rarely logical and almost always unfortunate. It only made sense that it would be Bakugo, but sometimes, Shoto really wished it wasn't.
"My leg is trapped. There's no way I can move it. I can feel blood drying on my head and I ache everywhere." Shoto said out loud, no idea if Bakugo was listening to him or not. "Both my hands are free so I can still use my quirk but I don't know how useful that will be right now."
There was a silence between them that lasted so long that worry started to claw at Shoto. Had Bakugo passed out again? Just as he was about to call out to him and brighten their stone prison with his flames, the blonde spoke. "My right arm is fucked. Pretty sure that my shoulder is dislocated because I can't move my arm at all and it hurts like a bitch. I have a concussion from a Nomu, and there's clearly a cut on my stomach because I can feel my top sticking to me from the blood."
Shit, Bakugo seemed to be just as badly hurt. How the hell were they meant to free themselves if one of Shoto's legs was useless and one of Bakugo's arms was also out? Shoto felt the dread sinking into his gut again and he closed his eyes as tears stung them. He couldn't cry, it would just exhaust him and he needed to focus.
"I'm going to use my fire. We need to see if there's some way that we can get ourselves out."
When Bakugo didn't argue with him, Shoto raised his hand again and activated his quirk. Once again he was hit with breathlessness at how trapped they were; there was hardly any room for either of them to move, nevermind dig themselves out. Silently cursing the whole situation, Shoto turned to Bakugo, his breath catching in his throat at the mess the blonde was in.
Bakugo was lying on his back, splashes of blood and shallow cuts across his face, there was a bruise forming on his temple and his hair was so full of ash that it had dulled from its vibrant blonde. His right arm was still in its gauntlet, but the left gauntlet was missing and his top was so shredded that it was useless.
None of that was what had Shoto concerned though, as mismatched eyes focused in on the metal pipe that was sticking out of his abdomen. From where he was lying, Shoto had no way of assessing how much Bakugo was bleeding, but that didn't stop him from forcing himself onto his side to get closer.
The pain shot through his own leg, raced up his back and into his head had him crying out; his vision growing dark and hazy. He tried to push through it, he needed to help Bakugo, but the world spun out from under him and he collapsed onto his side again. His flames died and he gasped for breath as bile burned in the back of his throat. He was trembling, and the fear and the pain forced a choked sob from his lips.
"Calm down, Icy-Hot," Bakugo muttered after a moment. "We can't do much like this, but they know that we are here. They'll get us."
"Midoriya!" Todoroki exclaimed, gritting his teeth through the agony as he struggled to get his phone out of his pocket.
"The hell are you doing? Stop moving before you fucking throw up from the pain."
Shoto tried to swallow his pained groan, but it slipped out before he could silence it. "I'm trying to get into my pocket..."
"I swear to fucking god, Icy-Hot, if you pull that damn nerd out of your pocket I will blow us both up right now," Bakugo growled and Shoto heard himself laugh in response.
He was able to get his phone and let out a sigh as he dropped back into a position where the pain was more bearable. "I'm obviously not going to do that," Shoto told the other man, unlocking his phone and wincing at the brightness in the dark. He brought up his friend's number, but the call couldn't connect. He had no signal, buried under a building as he was. He cursed under his breath and closed his eyes. He turned the torch on, leaving his phone lying between him and Bakugo; it at least could brighten their surroundings.
"Loverboy will find you, don't stress about it. I'm surprised he's not here already combing your hair." The words were growled, and Shoto brought his gaze up to watch Bakugo with a confused frown. "Oh don't give me that look. He's always been glued to your hip."
"Midoriya is just my friend." He only got a barked laugh in reply. The silence that followed made Shoto shift uncomfortably, and Bakugo just smirked at him.
"Huh... Always just assumed that you two were together." Bakugo seemed amused with himself, and Shoto forced himself to not show any reaction toward him. "So what, you're straight then? Cause I know for a fact that Deku is bisexual."
"Are you implying that I would have to be sleeping with my friend if I was into men, Bakugo?" Shoto snapped, pausing to take in a deep, calming breath. "Regardless, I'm not about to discuss my sexuality with you."
"Why not? We aren't going anywhere soon."
The deep breath didn't help, and Shoto snapped back at him, his panic rising again. "Exactly! I'm not about to lie here, trapped in the dark, while you mock me for being gay, Bakugo. We need to get out of here."
"The fuck? Why would I mock you, Icy-Hot?" Bakugo shouted at him, the noise so loud that Shoto couldn't have stopped himself from jerking at the sound even if he tried.
"Straight guys normally do," Shoto replied, trying to sound unbothered by it, but his heart ached at the thought of the disgust that Bakugo must feel towards him. He had been someone that Shoto had wanted for so long, had wanted him so badly, but he forced the thoughts down, hid them until they only hurt him in the dark and quiet.
Bakugo laughed loudly, a noise that was cut short when he then hissed in pain, his face screwing up as the laughter clearly jerked the pole that had impaled him. "Shit! Fuck that hurts. Do you honestly think that I'm straight?"
"You're not?" Shoto asked cautiously. He didn't want to sound too hopeful, but the way his heart clenched at that idea had excitement sparking in his blood.
Bakugo scoffed, rolling his eyes in the dim light of Shoto's phone. "How can you be as smart as you are and still be so fucking stupid?" Shoto opened his mouth to protest, but Bakugo ignored him and continued. "Shitty hair and I were fucking each other all through high school and you think I'm fucking straight? Fucking hell, Icy-Hot."
"I-... What?"
"Everyone knew. It's hardly a secret that I'm gay as all hell." Bakugo let himself let out a small laugh, one that apparently didn't hurt him. Shoto just stared at him, his heart pounding in his chest. He wanted to kiss Bakugo, he wanted nothing more than to kiss him at that moment, but when he tried to move closer the pain from his crushed leg lanced through him and stole his consciousness finally.
When Shoto next opened his eyes, he was able to see that they were still in their stone prison. His phone was still providing them with some light and nothing seemed to have changed much. There was a bit more blood on Bakugo's abdomen, and Shoto's vision was taking longer than he liked to focus on anything. The only real difference that he could see to their arrangement was that his hand was pulled closer to Bakugo, who had warm fingers clutching his wrist.
It took him a moment to realise that Bakugo wasn't holding his hand, and with that knowledge the exciting hope simmered down, slinking off into the dark again. No, Bakugo wasn't holding his hand, what he was doing was holding his wrist, his fingers pressed down into his pulse point. Even that level of concern had Shoto smiling.
"Good morning, Princess. Nice of you to join me again." Bakugo mocked, letting go when he saw that Shoto was awake. It was a loss that Shoto mourned in silence as he pulled his arm to rest in the middle ground between them. He wouldn't be against the idea of Bakugo holding it again.
"Sorry," Shoto mumbled, closing his dry eyes. "How long was I out?"
"A while, I can't say for sure." The blonde replied with a jerk of his left shoulder; the right unable to move at all. "I got concerned that you had died on me. Its why I had your arm. I was keeping track of your pulse."
"Shit. How are you? Have you heard anything to indicate that they are digging us out?"
Bakugo shook his head and Shoto closed his eyes, chewing on his lip. He couldn't even begin to think about how scared he was. He didn't want to die there, buried and trapped. He didn't want the wrecked building to become his tomb. It was already too small and tight and dark and he hated it. He couldn't breathe or move, and everything hurt.
"Oi! Todoroki!" Bakugo roughly grabbed his arm, shouting his name and Shoto's eyes shot open. His vision was blurred with tears, but through the haze, he could see the blonde watching him. "I get it, okay? It's clear to me that you are claustrophobic, but I need you to just breathe. It's going to be okay."
"I'm scared, Bakugo." Shoto let himself whisper, his tears finally spilling over and rolling down his face. He knew that he must look a mess, his tears mixing with the blood and dirt that was smeared over his face, but he couldn't stop himself from crying.
"I know."
"I'm so fucking scared and I don't want to die here." Shoto continued, closing his eyes again as he shook his head.
"Listen to me." Bakugo's tone demanded attention, and Shoto's breathing hitched as he tried and failed to get in control of himself. "You are not going to die here. There's not a chance in hell that I'm about to let that happen, okay?"
Todoroki opened his eyes, his hand so close to holding Bakugo's. He focused on it, resisting the urge to reach out. "You can't make that promise, Bakugo."
"Yes, I fucking can." Bakugo laughed and Shoto looked back up into his red eyes to see that he fully believed what he was saying. "You aren't gonna die here, what kind of fucking hero would I be if I came to save you and got you killed anyway? Are you trying to tell me that you doubt my hero abilities?"
"I have never doubted you." Shoto heard himself say, watched as a deep blush spread over Bakugo's cheeks, and felt a matching heat rush to his face. The moment the words were out, floating heavily between them, Shoto wanted nothing more than to take them all back. He cleared his throat and desperately tried to think of something to say, but Bakugo spoke before he could.
"Well good. I'm the best, so it's good that you trust me."
"Technically, Izuku is number one."
Bakugo growled in reply to him, a small pop echoing dangerously between them. "Fuck that nerd, everyone knows I'm better. Just watch, we'll get out of here and you'll end up being number two soon enough."
"Bakugo, what if..."
"No." Bakugo interrupted him and Shoto frowned back at him. "We are not playing the what-if game. Your damn nerd will find you and he'll dig you out and everything will be fine."
Shoto continued to frown. There was something about Bakugo's wording that left him feeling uneasy. Did Bakugo not believe that he would make it out of their situation? The idea was so foreign, so wrong, that Shoto wanted to disregard it completely without another thought. He couldn't though, he needed to know.
"Us." He said, and Bakugo offered him a confused grunt. "You said that Izuku would get me, but he'll get us. If I'm making it out of this then so are you. We'll both be fine, right? We'll recover and go back to being heroes and we'll laugh about this one day."
Bakugo's smile didn't reach his eyes. Shoto gave in to his urge and reached out to take his hand, fully expecting Bakugo to fire an explosion and pull away. Instead, he tensed for the briefest of moments, but slowly relaxed and let Shoto intertwine their fingers.
"Katsuki, we'll get through this together, right?" Shoto asked him, as much to make Bakugo fight to keep going, as it was to get comfort from the other man. He hated how scared and unsure his own voice sounded.
Bakugo didn't meet his eyes.
"We won't go back to normal after this." Katsuki spoke softly - the sound was enough to have Shoto's heart racing with a strange mix of love and despair. It ached with the need to hold the man next to him. "I won't go back to hero work. You might, I believe that you can, but I know I won't."
"Don't say that!" Shoto demanded, tightening his grip on Bakugo's hand.
"I don't want to lie to you, Shoto," Bakugo said with a small, humourless laugh. Shoto shivered, hearing his name falling from Bakugo's chapped lips lit a fire in his gut. "I won't be a hero anymore, I know that for a fact."
"Stop it!" Shoto fiercely shook his head again. "Why would you think that?"
"I can't feel my legs."
Shoto snapped his mouth shut, staring at Katsuki with wide eyes. That didn't make sense. He must have heard him wrong because when they had gone over their injuries before Katsuki hadn't even mentioned his legs being hurt. "That's not funny, Katsuki."
"I'm not trying to be funny." He told him, squeezing Shoto's hand when he saw the man crying again. "Shoto, please stop crying. I didn't want to tell you, I didn't want to scare you."
"It can't be true. Maybe it's just from being here for so long, maybe it'll be okay!" Shoto sobbed and Bakugo offered him a small smile. "Oh god, this is my fault."
"I've not felt them since I woke up. Pretty sure that it has something to do with this pole, if I'm honest, but I've not felt them this whole time." Bakugo squeezed Shoto's hand again, watching him with sadness in his red eyes. "It's not your fault though, so cut that shit out."
"If you didn't come to save me then we wouldn't be in this mess! I'm the reason that you are trapped in here!"
Bakugo let go of Shoto's hand and reached up to brush away Shoto's tears with his thumb, cupping his jaw. "I don't regret a damn thing, Shoto, because if I hadn't come along you could have died. I couldn't have lived with myself if that had happened."
Shoto shook his head, closing his eyes tightly as he swallowed past the lump in his throat. He was devastated and he didn't understand. He couldn't understand why Bakugo was acting so gently and saying the things that he was saying. None of it made any sense. "Why? Why would it matter to you if I had died?"
"If you dare ask me another question that fucking stupid, I will not hesitate to fucking smack you, Icy-Hot," Bakugo growled, and the anger was so familiar that Shoto felt the tightness in chest ease a little. He kept his eyes closed for a moment to calm himself before blinking them open to look at Katsuki.
"Honestly, what kind of fucking question is that? Do you think I'd just be okay with other heroes dying? Do you honestly think so lowly of me that you believe that I wouldn't mind failing you like that? After all the shit we went through in high school; after the way that we struggled together to get to where we are, you think that I would just shrug it off, go back to my day to day life?"
"Kats-..."
"Shut up! For once just fucking shut up and listen to me. I know that I can be an asshole. I know that I'm loud and angry and frighten children and fucking adults alike, but that doesn't mean that I want anyone else to ever get hurt! I fucking love you, Shoto, I have loved you for years so the thought of seeing you die because of some fucking brainless Nomu dropped a building on you... That shit hurts, okay?"
Shoto gasped, watching Katsuki as he ranted on. He didn't even seem to hear what he was saying, he didn't seem to realise that he had just confessed to being in love with Shoto.
"So this sure as shit is not your fault. As if I would have just stood by and let that happen. I would have rushed to help anyone, but it was you so there was no way that I wasn't going to be in here with you. Got it? So if I hear you even begin to think that you're to blame for this I will smack you so fucking hard you'll be seeing stars for a week, understand?"
"Yes," Shoto whispered, chewing on his lip.
That one word seemed to please Katsuki, who nodded once as he spoke. "Good. Now get your head out of your ass. Since we are stuck here, we just need some way to pass the time."
"What do you suggest?"
"Were you a fan of Tarō Gomi as a kid? Wait, did your useless dad even care that much to read to his kids?" Katsuki didn't bother to hide the disgust he clearly felt, and Shoto let himself laugh even as he wiped the last of his tears away. He took Katsuki's hand again after, and watched as the other man's lips quirked up into a quick smile.
"He didn't, but my brother, Touya, used to read to me at night when we were younger. Before we lost him, of course. My mother caught him one day and I was so scared that we were going to get in trouble."
"For being read a bedtime story?" Katsuki asked, incredulous, and Shoto blushed deeply. He swallowed down his emotions and nodded, smiling slightly at the protective growl that Bakugo let out.
"She didn't mind though, and instead she sat down with us both and took over for him. When he died, she would read to me instead. My other siblings would read to me at times also, but not as often, we were all scared of dad." Shoto told the other man, sighing softly.
"Your dad is an asshole."
"Yes." Shoto laughed, their gazes meeting as they smiled at each other. "I'm very much aware of how awful he is."
"What was your favourite?" Bakugo asked.
Shoto blinked, briefly confused before his mind caught up to remind him that they were discussing books. Bakugo was asking what his favourite children's book by Tarō Gomi was, not who his favourite parent was. Resisting the urge to giggle at his own stupidity, Shoto paused for a moment as he thought over the question.
"Over The Ocean," Shoto said after a moment. "I loved that one. I remember relating so hard to that little girl, standing and looking out across the water; wondering what was out there, was it something better? I read that one so much that I can still remember all the words." He admitted, laughing a little in embarrassment. Bakugo didn't seem to mind.
Katsuki tightened his grip on Shoto's hand, their arms meeting in the middle between them. "You remember all the words?" He repeated, and Shoto nodded, feeling his blush building. "Read it to me?"
Their eyes met and they shared a smile. The moment didn't last too long, but Shoto felt that it was meaningful. He felt that, somehow, in those few seconds, that he had shared something special with Katsuki. He let out a laugh, nodding as he let his eyes close. It was easier for him to remember the words if he wasn't distracted by how beautiful Katsuki looked, even buried in rubble; bloodied and bruised.
After a moment to cement the words in his mind, Shoto began to recite them to Katsuki. His voice was quiet and soft, there was no need to speak loudly when the wreckage around them dulled their senses. Katsuki's hand was warm in his, a warmth that Shoto cherished, one that promised him hope. Shoto wanted to picture his life with Katsuki as he recited the words that he had long ago committed to memory.
Katsuki might be paralyzed, but that didn't matter to Shoto. He loved the man regardless, and he knew that nothing would hold the blonde back. It would be a challenge, that was obvious, but Shoto knew that Katsuki would fight every moment to prove that he would not be contained, he would not be controlled or limited.
Shoto was more than happy to support him through that time. Maybe building a relationship during such a difficult time wasn't the best idea, maybe Shoto should rid himself of such whimsical ideas. His father would not approve, not just because it would mean coming out to him, but there was no chance that Endeavor would approve of his greatest pet project growing old with the former Dynamight, the young hero that has swept the nation up and had risen through the ranks to push his father further and further down them.
Just as Shoto was coming to the end of the children's story, he became aware that the hold on his hand had gone slack, and panic raced through him. His eyes shot open, looking over at the man that lay perfectly still at his side. The blonde's face was turned to him, his eyes closed and a small smile curving at his mouth, but something didn't feel right.
"Bakugo?" Shoto asked, gripping his hand, giving it a tug when he got no reply. "Katsuki?!"
Painfully, Shoto pushed up onto his elbow, his eyes darting to the other man's chest to watch and see if it moved in time with his breaths. He never got to find out because in that exact moment his phone, which lay between them, blinked into darkness, a cheerful chime letting Shoto know that the battery had died.
"Katsuki!" Shoto shouted, a sob ripping from his chest as he blindly felt Bakugo's wrist, searching for a pulse. He needed to find one, he had to. There was no other option. "Katsuki, wake up! You need to wake up... P-please, don't leave me, baby. I- I love you. I love you so much. I d-didn't tell you – fuck!"
Shoto heaved, his emotions causing havoc on his broken and beaten body, He couldn't find a pulse. "Please wake up. You need to wake up so I can- so I can tell you that I love you, Katsuki! I don't want to be alone! Bakugo, wake up! Don't leave me alone here. Please?"
Shoto knew that he was screaming, he could feel it in the rough ache in his throat as his sobbing stole his breaths; he could hear it as his torn voice echoed around him. He could taste it in the blood as he pushed himself closer to Bakugo; pushed through the agony in his leg; pushed with the need to be holding the man that he loved.
Collapsing into a heap, Shoto was close enough to pull Katsuki into his arms. He felt the way that Katsuki's head lolled lifelessly and he screamed. He wailed and he yelled and he begged until the last of his strength slipped away from him, but Katsuki never opened his eyes again. Shoto never felt his warmth again, or heard his words again, or got to tell Katsuki just how much he meant to him.
-
All around him was brightness.
Brightness stung at his eyes, leaving floating dots of red behind his eyelids. Searing white lights, and the noise! It was so loud, everything was so loud, and he wanted to hide from it all. Shoto wanted to go back into his dark, muffed tomb with the man in his arms; he didn't like this world that he had awoken into.
The man in his arms was still warm, but he had started to grow stiff in Shoto's arms. He felt someone try to move them, to take Katsuki from him and Shoto didn't give himself time to react before he was gripping onto him tighter. He wanted to lash out with his quirk, to force everyone back, but he couldn't. He didn't have the energy in him to even begin to think about using his quirk.
A flash of green grabbed Shoto's attention, and he had to blink back his tears and the sting of the sunlight before his vision would focus. Izuku reached out to him, tears shimmering unshed in his green eyes, but Shoto huddled closer into Katsuki. "He won't wake up."
"S-Shoto..." Izuku's voice was choked as the tears spilled from his lashes. Shoto smacked a hand away from one of the medics that was reaching out to take Katsuki from him.
"You can't take him!" Shoto shouted at the stranger, clinging to Katsuki. He looked down at the blonde, ignoring the sickly grey of his skin. He wouldn't look good after being buried in rubble regardless, not with all the ash. "Izuku, he won't wake up. I need him to wake up so I can tell him that I love him back. He said he loved me, and I didn't say it back and now he won't wake up."
Shoto watched as his tears splashed against Katsuki's dirty cheek. His chest ached. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't accept that Katsuki would never wake up, he couldn't. It already felt like he was dying, how was he meant to live the rest of his life with such a crushing weight in the hollow of his chest? "I didn't tell him. Why didn't I tell him?"
"Shoto," Izuku said his name, waiting until they locked eyes. "I need you to let the medics take him."
"No!"
"Please, Sho. I need to get you to the hospital." Izuku cried, reaching out. Shoto wanted to go with his friend. He knew that Izuku wanted to help him too, but he couldn't leave Katsuki. More men came closer and Shoto pulled away, crying out in pain as he jerked his leg. "Please!"
"No! I need him. I can't leave him!" Shoto sobbed hysterically. He knew that he wasn't reacting well, but he didn't care. A sharp sting to his neck made him yelp and it wasn't long until his head felt too heavy to hold up. "No, Izuku, please! Please don't take him from me! I can't lose him."
Shoto's reality shifted and faded, it came back in blurred chunks of quiet words. A time of death. The heartbroken wail of a mother. A decision to amputate his crushed leg. Shoto came and went, but he was never able to focus on anything real, not until the sedation wore off.
The next time that Shoto woke up he was alone in a hospital bed. He was missing his lower leg and had lost the only man that he had given his heart to.