Chapter Text
Stark Kids
Arya Stark: Jon I need a favor
Jon Snow: I am busy at the moment.
Jon Snow: Can anyone else do it?
Arya Stark: Its a PI favor
Arya Stark: Also its weird you use proper punctuation in text
Jon Snow: I’m not following Joffrey to learn his schedule for you to prank him again.
Sansa Stark: You did that?
Arya Stark: After what he did to you? Hell yes I did
Robb Stark: What did you do?
Aunt Dany: You don’t want to know. It’ll legally give you deniability
Theon: Why is SHE in this chat?
Bran Stark: Why are you?
Theon: That hurts Bran!
Rickon Stark: It also doesnt answer the ?
Jon Snow: Dany is my aunt and part of the pack.
Sansa Stark: Also Robb is in charge of the group and won’t let us take her out.
Aunt Dany: Ouch
Theon: Damn!
Jon Snow: Who do you want investigated.
Arya Stark: Myrcella
Rickon Stark: 👀 👀 👀
Arya Stark: Shes been very… shifty lately 👀
Arya Stark: Shes missed two separate meetings
Sansa Stark: That doesn’t sound like her
Bran Stark: How many meetings has she missed since you guys started the restaurant?
Arya Stark: 0️⃣ 0️⃣ 0️⃣
Robb Stark: Yeah I can kinda see why you wanna have her followed
Sansa Stark: I think you are overreacting
Aunt Dany: She is. Shes druk
Aunt Dany: Drunk
Aunt Dany: Very Very Drunk
Aunt Dany: 🍺 🍺 🍺 🍺 🍺
Myrcie 👸🏼
Jon Snow: Have you been missing resturant meetings for are meet ups?
Myrcie 👸🏼: One or two
Jon Snow: Arya Is kinda freaked out
Jon Snow: She’s also Drunk
Myrcie 👸🏼: Shit
Myrcie 👸🏼: From a scale of buzzed to Memorial Day weekend 2016 how bad?
Aunt Dany
Jon Snow: Is she drunk?
Aunt Dany: Yes
Jon Snow: On a scale how bad is it?
Aunt Dany: Robb & Roslin’s wedding
Jon Snow: Shit…
Myrcie 👸🏼
Myrcie 👸🏼: Shit
Myrcie 👸🏼: From a scale of buzzed to Memorial Day weekend 2016 how bad?
Jon Snow: Robb/Roslin’s wedding
Myrcie 👸🏼: Shit!
Jon Snow: Should I tell them?
Myrcie 👸🏼: I’m not telling my family…
Myrcie 👸🏼: I’m not making you put up with that.
Jon Snow: I’ve been dealing with your family since as long as I can remember
Myrcie 👸🏼: Yeah but now Mum and Da are divorced.
Myrcie 👸🏼: He’s not there to get her to shut up
Jon Snow: What about Taena?
Myrcie 👸🏼: Taena? My mum’s friend Taena?
Jon Snow: Yeah
Myrcie 👸🏼: What about Taena?
Jon Snow: Can’t she help keep your mum… well pleasant?
Myrcie 👸🏼: How would she?
Jon Snow: Well they’re dating aren’t they?
Myrcie 👸🏼: What? No!
Jon Snow: …
Myrcie 👸🏼: What?
Jon Snow: I saw them together at Longtable’s
Myrcie 👸🏼: AND???
Jon Snow: They were kissing. She was quite handsy
Myrcie 👸🏼: WTF??? 🤢🤢🤢
Stark Kids
Aunt Dany: She is. Shes druk
Aunt Dany: Drunk
Jon Snow: Myrcella has been missing meetings because she hired me.
Aunt Dany: Shes asleep
Aunt Dany: Well she passed out
Aunt Dany: Meera is taking care of her 🙏 🙏 🙏
Sansa Stark: Why did Myrcella hire you?
Robb Stark: You use too many emojis
Theon: She hired him to be a luva!!!
Jon Snow: 🖕 🖕 🖕 🖕 🖕
Roslin Frey-Stark: Seriously, what is wrong with you?
Bran Stark: 🙄 🙄 🙄
Bran Stark: Can I just say that I love that Roslin is finally comfortable enough to bitch at us?
Rickon Stark: Jons a prostitute now?
Jon Snow: Shut up Theon
Jon Snow: Me too Bran
Sansa Stark: Shut up Theon
Jon Snow: You too Rickon
Jon Snow: Cersei is dating Taena Merryweather.
Sansa Stark: CERSEI!!!
Aunt Dany: Cersei? Cersei Lannister?
Aunt Dany: She practically spat on me when she found out about Me and Irri!
Theon: Been tell you all. Armored Closet Gay
Robb Stark: Never saw that coming
Theon: Hates gays because she hates herself
Roslin Frey-Stark: So Myrcella missing meetings have nothing to with the fact that I saw the two of you making out in her car near Runestones?
Roslin Frey-Stark: At least I hope it was Just making out
Sansa Stark: WHAT???????
Rickon Stark: Jon likes a girl?
Robb Stark: WTF
Robb Stark: You and Myrcella are dating?
Theon: Eh, I think both could do better
Robb Stark: Babe? Why wouldnt you tell me?
Sansa Stark: Prob because it was none of your business
Sansa Stark: And because it gives you plausible deniability once Arya finds out.
Arya Stark: JON SNOW HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND!!!
Jon Snow: Dany!
Arya Stark: YOUR SLEEPING WITH MY BUSINESS PARTNER!
Arya Stark: MY BEST FRIEND!
Jon Snow: Roslin you’re dead to me
Arya Stark: I’M AM LEGITIMATELY UPSET!
Aunt Dany: She’s crying right now 😭 😭 😭
Rickon Stark: You use to many emojis
Roslin Frey-Stark: You’re tge one who tried to lie Jon
Jon Snow: Get her to sleep it off!
Aunt Dany: What am I? Her keeper?
Jon Snow: Her roommate!
Aunt Dany: Meera is handling her
Sansa Stark: At least someone can…
Robb Stark: Knock it off Sansa
Jon Snow: Does anyone have Meera’s #️⃣ #️⃣ #️⃣
Robb Stark: Here
Robb Stark has created new group, The Pack
Roslin Frey-Stark added
Jon Snow added
Cell Baratheon added
Sasna Stark added
Daenerys Targaryen added
Arya Stark added
Meera Reed added
Bran Stark added
Sarella Sand added
Rickon Stark added
Theon Greyjoy added
Loras Tyrell added
The Pack 🐺
Jon Snow: Meera, please just get her to bed a leave her a note that says I’ll talk to her in the morning
Meera Reed: ummm
Arya Stark: I AM STILL AWAKE ASSHOLE!
Jon Snow: Go to sleep Arya
Sasna Stark: Go to sleep Arya
Arya Stark: WHY? SO YOU CAN GO SLEEP WITH MYRCELLA BEHIND MY BACK
Arya Stark: 🖕 🖕 🖕
Sasna Stark: No she’s really not my type.
Roslin Frey-Stark: Please don’t encourage her Sansa
Roslin Frey-Stark: I WILL add your mother to this chat. Don’t test me.
Sasna Stark has changed their name to Sansa Stark
Jon Snow: Joke’s on you, we are currently sleeping together as I write this so ha!
Rickon Stark: @Sansa Stark How do you change you name!
Cell Baratheon: What is this?
Cell Baratheon: JAECERYS SNOW!
Cell Baratheon has changed their name to Myrcella Baratheon
Sansa Stark: @Rickon Stark The little gear icon in the top
Theon Greyjoy has added Margaery Tyrell
Theon Greyjoy has added Yara Greyjoy
Theon Greyjoy: Added Marg because you know how she’ll get otherwise. Yara too
Arya Stark: OH LOOK! THE TRAITOR IS HERE TOO!
Margaery Tyrell: Thanks You Passive-Aggressive Jackass
Loras Tyrell: Thnx Theon
Myrcella Baratheon: Don’t be like that Arya!
Myrcella Baratheon: Please 🙏 🙏 🙏
Arya Stark: WHY SHOULDN’T I?
Arya Stark: Jokes on you I kicked get first
Meera Reed: Dany got her phone from her. I’ll try to get her to sleep
Sansa Stark: So we’re just gonna ignore the fact that Cersei and Taena are dating?
Rickon Stark has changed their name to The Wild Wolf
Margaery Tyrell: Cersei’s What???
Loras Tyrell: Told you @Theon Greyjoy!
Robb Stark: Rickon Change it back to something normal
Margaery Tyrell: How Do You Know?
The Wild Wolf has changed their name to Rick Stark
Rickon Stark: UR no fun 👎 👎 👎
Margaery Tyrell: Do We Know This For Sure?
Jon Snow: I saw them
Myrcella Baratheon: I asked my mom. She denied it but I could hear Taena in the background.
Myrcella Baratheon: Considering its 9:45 on a night Tommen is at dad’s I’m amusing she’s lying
Sansa Stark: And you just believed her
Sansa Stark: LOL Nice
Roslin Frey: Stark: Look who the detective is now, Jonny-Boy!
Theon Greyjoy: IN YOUR FACE!
Sansa Stark: Shut up Theon
Myrcella Baratheon: Who do you thinks been teaching me?
Daenerys Targaryen: Shut up Then
Bran Stark: Shut up Theon
Sansa Stark: Jon is a good teacher. Hes the one to teach me, Arya and Bran how to drive
Sarella Sand: Shut up Theon
Roslin Frey-Stark: Me too ironically enough
Rick Stark: Hey @Jon Snow Im sixteen know! Why havent u tawt me 2 Drive/?,
Myrcella Baratheon: Yes Jon is an excellent teacher. Especially since he isn’t afraid to hand out punishments if necessary
Sarella Sand: Rickon if there is anyone brave enough to get in a vehicle that you are driving I tip my hat to them!
Bran Stark: @Rick Stark Do you type w/ your nose?
Sansa Stark: Punish?
Sansa Stark: OH EW!
Sansa Stark: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
Sansa Stark: 🤮 🤢 🤮 🤢 🤮 🤢 🤮 🤢 🤮 🤢