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"Guys! Guess what I discovered last night." Said Pepper as she sat at her desk next to the boys.
Brian was the first to ask. "What?"
"She said to 'guess' Brian, not 'ask'." Wensleydale pointed out.
Adam nudged an elbow into his ribs. "Come on Wensley, no one ever actually guesses whatever the person is telling them to guess."
"Well, it isn't my fault no one uses that phrase properly." Said Wensleydale with a shrug.
"Anyway, what'd you find, Pepper?" Asked the gang's leader, putting his phone down.
"Right, so I was on twitter last night and I saw someone had posted a link, something about Spider-Man and Deadpool. I thought it was a comic, but it was a story. Not even an official one, just something a fan did 'cause they were bored. For free!"
Brian raised a brow, obviously confused by the information. "Seriously? Why would someone do that? Can't they get, like, sued?"
"I don't know, but it's called 'fan-fiction' and it's literally stories made by fans. It doesn't matter if it makes sense or not! You can even make stories with characters from different shows and movies and stuff!"
Adam looked very intrigued. "So, if I wanted to make something up where Superman and... He-Man had a big fight, I could do that?" He asked.
The most soft-spoken of the group pipped up once more. "Actually, I believe that's already a comic, but I've never read it so, I'm not sure how it turns out."
Pepper acknowledged Wensleydale's comment with a half-nod but remained focused on Adam. "Yeah, anything goes. You just say it's an AU and no one can say anything about it not being accurate."
"A what-now?" Asked Adam.
"An 'AU' is an 'Alternate Universe'. A world where you can do whatever you want and it just makes sense 'cause it's your world and you're in charge of it. You don't even have to explain how stuff makes sense, it just does. Oh, and then there's the shipping-"
Brian made a face. "Shipping? Like the post or like boats?"
Pepper shook her head, grabbed a pen and started writing on her desk. "No, 'ship' as in 'relationship'. When you ship, you're saying you want two people to be in a relationship. Like..."
Wensleydale tilted his head a bit, providing an example. "Like Chloe and Lucifer?"
"Right. Although, since the show writers have always gone in that direction, it's more canon than ship, I think." She said, not so sure.
"Cannon? This is turning more nautical than I expected." Said Brian, mostly to himself, but everyone heard him.
She shook her head and continued to write on the desk, much to Wensleydale's chagrin. "No, you're thinking of the ones on pirate ships, that's two 'n's. Canon, one 'n', is what the writer says is official in that universe. A 'head-canon' is what a fan would like to be official in that universe but probably isn't and never will be. That's why people make fics, to see their head-canons somewhere other than their head!"
This conversation on fandoms and their vocabulary continued for a good half-hour before the first bell finally rang and their teacher walked through the classroom door.
At lunch The Them sat at their usual table, to continue discussing the ins and outs of fan-fiction that Pepper had found less than 24 hours ago. While they ate, she showed them various websites where these works could be read and uploaded to. It all seemed fairly straight-forward, so much so that they decide they were going to write a fan-fiction together about Doctor Who and Torchwood. In this AU, season 3 of the latter series was the end of the show, Captain Jack Harkness went to find The Doctor to be his more permanent companion and go off on adventures throughout several worlds and galaxies, plot-holes be damned.
Adam was in charge of coming up with Captain Jack's dialogue because his sense of humor was the closest they had to John Barrowman's, while Pepper came up with The Doctor's. Wensleydale's job, because he was always the best with details when it came to both shows, was to pick the locations and alien-life the two heroes would encounter in every chapter. And finally, Brian was in charge of illustration. He decided he would do small, comic-like sketches which would show the biggest / most important scene in the chapter, as well as end every chapter with a sneak-peek for the next. Because his art skills had improved immensely since first taking to drawing in middle school, the rest of the group agreed. The plot was a team-effort, they all asked before adding or cutting something and no changes were made unless everyone was on-board.
~~~~~
This story quickly took over all their free time, as well as some of their class time. The second of which bothered several of their teachers. For many weeks, they would get in trouble for not paying attention. Of all these times, only two of their teachers actually asked what it was they were doing. These were Ezra Fell and Anthony J. Crowley, their English and History teachers respectively.
Thanks to their apparent approval, or a small understanding of it at the very least, an idea popped into Pepper's mind one day at lunch.
"Do you know what I just realized? I ship Mr. Crowley and Mr. Fell." She said, surprised by it.
Brian hummed, mouth full of pizza. "Really?"
"Think about it, it makes sense. They're always together when they're not giving class, Mr. Crowley's an asshole to everyone else that isn't Mr. Fell or a student, and Mr. Fell always blushes when he calls him 'angel'. Not to mention he's a total flirt." Explained Pepper in between bites of her own food.
This was true. Mr. Crowley was known for his prickly attitude, but Mr. Fell was never on the receiving end of it. In fact, the most times they would see the redhead smile was when the infectiously sweet English teacher was around. Especially when the blond would say his name in that gentle voice which would make the skinnier man nearly melt.
Adam chimed in. "To be fair, he gives everyone a nickname. Like wasn't he calling Principal Bubb 'Prince Beelzebub' just last week? And he also calls Anathema 'Book Girl' but that one's obvious, 'cause she's a librarian."
This was also true. Crowley would learn everyone's names, he was always very good at remembering names, but he felt that giving people nicknames was far more entertaining. Hence how the principal's secretary became known as 'Dagon, Lord Of The Files'. Gabriel Celestine, the physical education teacher, was referred to as 'The Heavenly Bastard' thanks to his various 'your body is a temple' monologues. Even the school's guidance counselor, Michael Godwin, was known in the halls as 'Little Miss You've Disappointed Me' because that's how she would start most of her conversations with students. Not to mention the janitors, both Pulsifer and Shadwell, were known as 'The Witch Finders' because they were just as useless at their job.
"Think he just calls Mr. Fell 'angel' because he's really nice and innocent. You've see the face he makes whenever someone says a dirty joke near him." Added Brian.
Wensleydale nodded. "Very possible. Although, Mr. Fell does physically resemble an angel a bit. So, theoretically, it could be him bing very literal."
"He's totally flirting. Have you seen the way he looks at him?" Rang a voice from behind them.
It was Warlock Dowling, the new kid in town. He had kept to himself since the school year started and this must've been the first time he had actually spoken to anyone. It was meant to be a passing comment as he walked away from them, but Pepper turned and grabbed his arm.
"Right, so, you see it too then?"
The dark haired boy nodded. "Yeah, they're OTP material for sure. But waiting for anything more than a slight shoulder brush or graze of the fingers is agonizing with those two." He continued, turning his nose up in their direction.
The two teachers appeared to be having an entertaining conversation at a far away table. Mr. Crowley seemed to be too distracted by the topic to actually eat, while Mr. Fell spoke and wiggled while enjoying his pasta.
Warlock then grinned at Pepper. "5 quid says Mr. Fell ends up asking him out first."
Adam seemed to like Warlock. "I got 5 that says it's Mr. Crowley." It sounded like a challenge, one which Warlock wordlessly accepted before walking away.
Warlock became part of The Them just a few days after that initial conversation and he kept pointing out the chemistry between the two pining adults. He also became the editor for their fan-fiction and was in charge of checking everyone's grammar, consistency / continuity, adding anything ship and romance-related, ensuring the images were placed where they belonged, etc. Pepper was glad they finally had someone else helping with the profile updates. Warlock was easily the most ingrained into the fandom side of social media, his stan account had several hundred followers too, so it was very easy to ask for help and advice through him. It also helped that The Them just loved having him around. Especially Adam, no matter how much he denied it when Pepper implied that was the case.
~~~~~
As the weeks passed, the whispers and rumors which flooded the halls were all related to Mr. Crowley and Mr. Fell. Not only was The Them's fan-fiction picking up traction online but their real-life shipping of the pair had reached the ears of practically every student in the school. And considering how wide-spread it was, apparently everyone wanted them together. Even The Johnsonites, Greasy Johnson's gang of bullies, comprised of: himself, Carmine Zugiber, Raven Sable, Albus White, and Azrael Grimm, believed there was something saucy going on between the two educators.
Everyone, except the staff had paid attention to the whispers. Which is how the two teachers were shocked to see the blatant match-making schemes thought up of by the teenagers. They ranged from simple: inviting them over to their table for a chat during lunch and immediately making up an excuse to leave the two of them alone, to the more outlandish: starting a "fight" outside the school just to get them together to "stop it".
Every single time, the two teachers would glance at each other knowingly and not give the kids the satisfaction. Thanks to this, the very open and honest relationship between the two educators and their students turned cold. No more personal questions were allowed and Mr. Fell would make sure to never be seen alone with Mr. Crowley unless absolutely necessary. This meant no more lunches together, or interrupting each other's lecture to borrow some supplies, or even walking next to each other in the halls before or after classes. They even changed how they addressed each other. Mr. Fell was no longer "angel" and Mr. Crowley was no longer "Anthony".
That semester ended with the two of them practically being strangers in the students eyes. While the whispers were still there, they weren't as prominent as before. Practically every teenager agreed: it was weird not seeing them together at all. When the next semester rolled by, everyone went back to school and the situation with Mr. Crowley and Mr. Fell seemed even stranger. Pepper was the first to notice that they were both wearing wedding rings.
Even though they remembered the whole "no personal questions" rule from last year, they had to ask. Mr. Crowley's reply hit harder than expected: "I figured I'd start wearing it to work now, seeing as you kids kept poking around, trying to play matchmaker."
There are light gasps around the classroom, as well as some dropped jaws. "You're married?!" Brian asked, completely in shock.
The redheaded adult crossed his arms as he leaned against his desk. "Yes. Have been for 16 years." He said, putting emphasis on how long.
"Why didn't you say anything?!" Warlock asked, his mind swirled. He could've sworn he saw chemistry between the two of them. Had it really been platonic all this time? Had it been a possible affair which they stopped by being nosey?
Mr. Crowley glared at Warlock, "Was my love-life really any of your business?"
Silence flooded the room, a mixture of amazement and confusion. The redhead gave a nod. "Didn't think so." He said before getting back to class.
Needless to say, the students felt awful for unintentionally trying to break up two marriages. Some felt so embarrassed that they wanted to hide under their desks and never speak of this again. Others, like Pepper and Warlock, felt there was simply no way they had read the situation so poorly but after being told to mind their own business, they supposed there was nothing more to discuss.
About 40 minutes into the lecture, Mr. Fell knocked on the door and came into the classroom while the children searched for the answers of today's class-work in their textbooks. There was a school field trip to the local theater to watch Hamlet and he was making sure no one from his list was missing. None of the students dared to look at him, still feeling bad about trying to set him up with Mr. Crowley. Hell, the two adults had barely made eye-contact with each other while checking the lists.
Upon finishing that task and being sure only 3 of Mr. Crowley's students were going on the field trip, Mr. Fell bent down and planted a kiss on the other's lips. Quick but sweet, and extremely casual.
"Goodbye, darling."
Mr. Crowley nodded, turning back to the text book on his desk. "Text me when you get there, yeah?"
The blond man gave him a soft smile. "Will do. Come along you three, we don't want the bus to leave us behind." Said Mr. Fell, exiting the room with the very confused trio of teenagers.
Brian was the first of the students to pipe up once their English teacher left. "Didn't you say you were married?! Why's Mr. Fell kissing you?!"
Mr. Crowley looked up, smug as ever. The kids still shocked. "You never asked the right question."
They looked at him, confused. The redhead smirked even more. "You'd always ask if we were dating, or if we liked each other. You never once asked if we were married, or if we were in love."
Adam finally spoke. "Why would we? You don't even show up together! He has that old car and you show up on your motorcycle every day. Why would we think you're married if you don't even share a ride to work?"
Mr. Crowley nodded to the Young's boy as he stood up from his seat. "That's exactly why we did it. 6 years of teaching at this school and no other group of kids ever figured it out, but you lot kept insisting there was something there. You were right of course, but you had no real evidence other than some heart-eyes and blushing."
Pepper still couldn't believe it. "Why hide it then? If you love each other, why keep it a secret?" She asked, desperate for answers.
The history teacher rounded his desk and sat atop it. "It's because we love each other that we first decided to keep it to ourselves. To protect each other. The last place we lived in, people weren't very open-minded, so we came up with that little plan when we first got here." He started. He paused to see if anyone wanted to ask something but everyone was paying attention to his story and wanted more details.
So he continued. "But a lot has changed in the world recently. It's safer for us now. That, and it'd be incredibly unprofessional if we behaved the same way here than how we do at home, when we're alone. You guys would be sick of our sappy shit in less than a week but we thought, since you figured it out, we'd let you know you were right. The kiss was his idea, not mine, before you all start talking shit."
With that, Mr. Crowley cleared his throat, straightened himself out and walked towards the marker-board. "Anyways, as you kids say in the fandom world, 'the ship sails'. Just make sure whatever shipping you do from now on is exclusively done with fictional characters, alright? It's awkward and just plain weird doing it with real people." He told them before dropping the subject altogether and finishing up the class for the day.
Warlock and Pepper were momentarily floored by the fandom comment, but had to resist the urge to freak out. They had been right all along, sure, but they did learn a valuable lesson. As did every student, once what happened in that classroom that morning spread like wildfire throughout all sorts of group chats. And of course, the gang used this in a chapter of their fan-fiction, but they changed enough to make it their own.
That afternoon, as they climbed onto their bus to head home, The Them actually saw Mr. Crowley and Mr. Fell leaving together in the same car. Everyone was happy to see that.