Chapter Text
Kaminari had enough self-awareness to know that he wasn’t the brightest bulb in the box. Part of this was just a result of who his friends were; it was hard to keep up with the literal geniuses that U.A. attracted. And having his brain constantly fried with electricity probably hadn’t done him any favors either. So, sometimes it took him a bit to figure out things his classmates had instantly grasped.
This usually didn’t bother him too much. Playing catch-up came naturally to him by now. It was when he found himself a few steps ahead of someone else that he became frustrated. “I’m telling you, you should make a move!” Kaminari said exasperatedly. “Yaoyorozu is totally into you!”
Kyouka shook her head stubbornly. “You don’t know that. She might not even like girls.”
“Well, she likes you! So, I’m pretty sure she likes girls,” Kaminari said, glancing back down at his work. They were hanging out in Kyouka’s room, and he was idly sketching her on a pad of paper as she fiddled with a guitar. “So woman up and ask her out already.”
Kyouka flicked a guitar pick at him. Kaminari let it bounce off his forehead. “I should never have told you that I have a crush on her,” she said in a low voice.
Kaminari snorted. “If you wanted to keep that a secret, you shouldn’t have told me that you’re gay. Anybody who knows that could tell you have a crush within, like, ten minutes of seeing you with Yaoyorozu.”
Kyouka fixed him with a glare. “I’m not that obvious.”
“Oh, Momo,” Kaminari said in a high falsetto voice that sounded nothing like Kyouka. “I don’t quite get this problem, could you go over it with me? Oh, Momo, I saw these chocolates and thought of you, do you want them? Oh, Momo, I’m having trouble sleeping. Can I stay with you tonight?”
“That-that was only once!” Kyouka said sharply. “And straight girls share beds all the time.”
“But you aren’t straight. And neither is Yaoyorozu!” Kaminari said triumphantly. “Didn’t you see how red she got when you asked that? I thought you two were going to end up hooking up that night.”
Kyouka scowled, but said nothing, turning her attention back to her guitar.
Kaminari watched her for a few minutes, before sighing. “You could at least let her know that you’re gay,” he said soberly. “Then she might make a move.”
Kyouka shook her head. “No. Outside of my family, you’re the only one who knows. I’m not ready to tell her yet.” She raised her eyes from the strings to him. “And if you tell her, I’m going to be pissed.”
“Dude! I would never out you!” Kaminari said, offended. “That would be incredibly uncool! I’m just saying that Yaoyorozu might ask you out if she knew she had a chance.”
“She’s probably straight. And even if she isn’t, that doesn’t mean that she’s interested in me.”
“Why wouldn’t she be interested in you? You’re a kick-ass punk chick who plays, like, every instrument known to man.”
Kyouka sighed. “And she’s a rich, brilliant hero with an awesome Quirk and amazing legs. She’s way out of my league.”
“Since when are you so humble?” Kaminari scoffed. “So she’s rich. Big deal.”
“She’s not just rich. You saw her house! She’s like, one step below nobility.”
“True,” Kaminari admitted. “But money isn’t everything, you know? And neither is brains.”
“Says the guy who doesn’t have any.”
Kaminari let that slide. “It’s stupid to judge people about stuff like that. And Yaoyorozu wouldn’t do that.”
“There’s a difference between not judging people and wanting to go out with them. Why are you pushing this so hard?”
“Because I’m getting tired of watching you two pine over each other all the time,” Kaminari said, frustrated. “Seriously, it’s so obvious.”
Kyouka laughed. “She is definitely not pining after me.”
“When you two are having one of your private study sessions, how sad is she when you have to go to bed?” Kaminari asked challengingly. “I’ve seen her. She actually wilts! Not to mention all the longing looks…”
“There are no ‘longing looks,’” Kyouka said firmly. “She’s just not used to having friends. Of course she wants to spend time with them!”
“Jeez, you’re hopeless,” Kaminari said, slumping back in his chair. “Is it that hard to believe a girl would be into you?”
“Not a girl. Momo,” Kyouka said pointedly. “Aka Creati. Aka the hottest, smartest, kindest girl at this school.”
“Man, you’re in deep!” Kaminari said with a laugh. “Though she probably is too. If only-” He sat up straight, his eyes wide. “Holy shit. That’s it!”
“What?” Kyouka asked worriedly.
“I’ve got it. The perfect way to prove that Yaoyorozu is into you.”
“...How?” Kyouka asked warily. “Some stupid online quiz?”
“No, not that!” Kaminari hesitated for a moment. “Okay, I’m going to let you in on a secret, okay? You seriously can’t tell anyone.”
Kyouka frowned. “What is it?’
“Please, promise? I trust you, man, but this is a big deal.”
“I promise,” Kyouka said warily.
Kaminari glanced around the room, as if looking for listening devices, before leaning forward and lowering his voice. “Okay. So, you know how my Quirk is electricity, right?”
“I’m aware,” Kyouka said flatly.
“Well, there’s something else I can do with it, besides just shocking people. It doesn’t really have a lot of combat potential, but…” Kaminari licked his lips. “I can make people swap bodies.”
Kyouka stared at him for a moment. “Bullshit.”
“No, it’s true! I did it a couple of times when I was a kid by accident.”
“Why the hell would you be able to do that?”
“Electricity is my thing! Thinking is just your brain sending electrical signals.”
“...That does make some sense. But why keep it a secret?”
“Well, it takes like ten minutes to do, and I need to be touching both people. So, it’s not really practical for fighting. And if everyone knew I could swap people’s bodies, villains would be all over me!”
“Does the school know?”
“I mean, yeah? But just them and my family. I’m not supposed to tell anyone.”
“Oh. Well, thanks for trusting me,” Kyouka said, puzzled. “But what does this have to do with Momo?”
“Don’t you get it? I could totally swap you guys!” Kaminari said enthusiastically. “Then you’d know for sure that she’s into you!”
Kyouka stared at him. “That’s the dumbest idea I’ve ever heard! Why would that prove anything?”
“Think about it! Spend a week living as Yaoyorozu, and you’ll find tons of evidence that she likes you. Drawings in her notes, half-written love letters...maybe even a secret shrine!”
“A secret shrine? What, like she’s a stalker?”
“Are you telling me that you don’t keep the things she’s made for you on a special shelf in your closet?” Kaminari asked teasingly.
Kyouka flinched. “How-how do you know about that?”
“Dude, the door’s not even closed,” he said, pointing. Kyouka hurriedly put down her guitar to close the closet. “I’m just saying, you could learn a lot! And it’s break, so it’s not like you have to worry about messing up her grades.”
“So your brilliant idea is for me to steal Momo’s body?” Kyouka asked incredulously.
“Not steal! I’ll tell her that I can swap bodies, and ask if she wants to do it with you. Yaoyorozu can keep a secret.”
“Why the hell would she say yes?”
“Curiosity? Stress relief? The chance to feel up her crush?” Kyouka blushed, and Kaminari grinned. “There are a lot of reasons! Are you seriously telling me that you have no interest in Yaoyorozu’s body?”
“God, you’re a perv,” Kyouka complained, red-faced. “There is no way that she’d say yes.”
“Wanna bet on it?” Kaminari said cockily. “If you’re right, I owe you lunch every day for a week.”
“And if you’re right?”
“Then you swap. And you get to find out just how hard Yaoyorozu is crushing on you.”
Kyouka chewed her lip. “A month,” she said finally. “Lunch for a month.”
“Deal!” Kaminari said happily, setting aside his pad and jumping up.
“You better be able to afford it!” Kyouka called out after him as he rushed out of the room.