Chapter Text
They’re fighting again.
He can’t recall what started it this time, but he knows it’s about him. Their voices are garbled at first, and he can’t entirely make out their faces yet, but as he moves Jiang Cheng notices his surroundings are like an old blurry film that slowly gets clearer and clearer with every step. The conversation is slowly becoming more coherent, and the dread that started in his belly has risen like bile in his throat and the heaviness in his heart threatens to crush itself under the weight of his shame.
It’s them.
Yu Ziyuan is clearly hurling words at a stoic and unmoving Jiang Fengmian, whose eyes are closed as if weathering a simple nuisance and not an enraged wife. The only sign of his displeasure is the tight pull at his lips and the furrow of his brow. Jiang Cheng watches helplessly as she accuses him of favoring his lover’s child, insinuating that perhaps he was so kind because Wei Wuxian is his spawn after all, and that she should have known better than for a man like him to know of any honor.
“You ignore your own son, your blood, as you ignore me!”
Jiang Cheng's nose is closing from the pressure of tears building up in his face, the words adding even more weight to his body. He wants to tell his mother to stop, wants to make her understand that this doesn’t help him at all. Jiang Cheng reaches out, but his arms refuse to move, as if something is holding him down.
“Even when she’s dead you can only see her!”
It’s another blow to his already fragile heart. In the end, it was never really about him, was it? Yu Ziyuan had carelessly used her own son to vicariously bring her own grievances towards her husband. All because of a dead woman Wei Wuxian can barely remember anymore.
But his father did. His father knew what this would do to their family, what it would do to his wife, and never protected his children from that decision. For all that people believed him to be a kind, level headed tempered man, Jiang Fengmian ached for the ghosts of his past rather than the family of his present.
While he was all but silent at every one of Jiang Cheng’s achievements, he sang praises for Wei Wuxian. When Jiang Cheng cried in frustration at how difficult it was to understand something, Jiang Fengmian helped Wei Wuxian with his homework if he so much as whined. He was too busy at the firm for Jiang Cheng’s soccer matches or debates matches, but he bought the entire first row seats for his family for Wei Wuxian’s plays and Decathlons.
It was not kindness, it was preference. It was not level headedness, it was an ill-placed retribution at the woman he married. It was not temperament; it was apathy.
Jiang Fengmian used Wei Wuxian as Yu Ziyuan used Jiang Cheng.
The assault of the memories, and the scene playing before him had Jiang Cheng struggling to breathe, and he’s crying deep from his chest as if trying to empty an ocean of it’s waves. He looks back up, not realizing when he fell on all fours, and he sees both his parents looking down at him. There is disappointment in his father’s eyes to repulsion in his mother’s, the weight of their gazes bearing down on him.
“You were always weak.”
“You were too much like her.”
Their lips don’t move but he knows where they came from. Jiang Cheng cries even harder, and their voices don’t stop until it becomes a broken record of one thing only.
“You will never be enough.”
Jiang Cheng wakes up, gasping for air. His breaths are coming in short, and his heart is beating too fast. His body seizes, and he curls up on his bed, alone and panting as his eyes are blown wide open to the nothingness of the dark. He coughs, the action burning his throat, and he feels beads of sweat and tears making their way down his face. His chest heaves as his body gasps and convults, and he feels his mind tunneling into a single mantra that he begins to repeat is ragged whispers.
“Never enough, never enough, never enough .”
Somewhere in the back of his subconscious, something is telling him he needs to escape this destructive vortex. Using all the force in the body to turn on the lamplight, Jiang Cheng begins to look for anything in his room he could focus on. Then he sees a frame on his nightstand, and he brings it to himself, face pressed into a pillow and only looking at it from the one opened eye that isn’t being crushed against the bed.
His family.
It’s a picture of himself, with Wei Wuxian and their sister, back when they were all they had in the world. Wei Wuxian has an arm around Jiang Cheng as he’s naturally scowling and getting ready to tell him off, but his Jie and looking at them fondly and no doubt telling them to stand still for the kind stranger who is taking the picture for them.
His family.
This one was always his favorite. It was them, in their most natural state. You can feel the ease and comfort the three had in one another. This was taken mere months after his parents' accident, but even when Jiang Cheng tried to look for a decent one with all five of them together, they were only from the stiff and seriously formal photo sessions his mother forced them to do every year.
His family.
He began to finally catch a steady heart rate, and he was breathing more evenly. Even then, the panic was settling into a pang of numbing guilt.
This was his family. Him, Jiejie, and Wei Wuxian.
And he couldn’t find it in himself to think of the picture as incomplete.
“Jiang Cheng?”
Deep sapphire eyes blink, and Jiang Cheng is suddenly brought back to the present moment. He looks over at the figure in front of him,
Wei Wuxian looks at him worriedly with his grey eyes. “You were out of it again.”
Jiang Cheng clears his throat, shaking his head a bit but immediately regretting it. He barely holds back the winces at the pressure in his head.
“Yeah, well.”And he has nothing to follow it up with before they fall silent again.
Wei Wuxian hums, drinking the coffee that he paid for this time around. They were back in their usual cafe as tradition. For once, Wei Wuxian wasn’t performing his usual theatrics, and Jiang Cheng wasn’t yelling at him to stop causing a scene (not that it helped much).
But (and Jiang Cheng checked his watch) it was only eight in the morning. Plenty of time left for something to go wrong.
Wei Wuxian’s voice is gentle. “Did you sleep well at all, Jiang Cheng?”
He sighs, looking at the white ceramic mug that holds his barely touched latte. He’s too tired to really tell Wei Wuxian to fuck off, and there’s another reason why he can’t exactly deflect the subject.
“It’ll be five years next weekend,” Jiang Cheng says instead, and it’s so quiet Wei Wuxian barely catches the word before his breath hitches.
Of course, how could he forget? His didi already experienced more nightmares around this time, and Wei Wuxian suddenly knows the cause for the dark under circles on Jiang Cheng’s face and the complaints of his body aching.
“You’ve been having nightmares again,” Wei Wuxian says, watching the way Jiang Cheng’s features grimace. Guilt seizes Wei Wuxian, fighting off the voices in his head that blame him for leaving Jiang Cheng all alone. He wants to reach out, hold his brother’s hand, but tactile comfort is the last thing Jiang Cheng appreciates during these moments. From him at least.
“Why didn’t you call me?” Wei Wuxian asks. “I would have answered.”
Jaing Cheng scoffs, but it’s nowhere near as strong as it could be. “Not even an earthquake could wake you up.”
Wei Wuxian looks down at his own drink again. Silence falls on them again, giving them both a chance to collect their thoughts. Clearly it was too much to talk of emotions right now. Wei Wuxian figures it was best to direct their conversation into actions.
“Are we going to visit them next weekend?” He asks, keeping his voice casual.
Jiang Cheng stares at the desk, his finger making small circles on the wood. “We haven’t cleaned their plates in awhile.”
Wei Wuxian nods, and he fights off another wave of guilt at not being more diligent to his adoptive parents. “We’ll spend the day with them next Saturday then. I’ll ask Jie if she would like to join too, but I’m not too sure with Jin Ling.”
The boy was much too small to spend hours kneeling before the family’s nameplates, no doubt would disrupt their ancestors' rest with his whines and tantrums. He was only shy of four, of course, it would be natural.
“I’m sure the peacock can father his own son for a day,” Jiang Cheng says, not nearly as snarky as it would be normally. Wei Wuxian still snorts, and Jiang Cheng smirks.
Taking a sip from his own coffee, Wei Wuxian hums. “I can bring the food this time. I remember all of Madam Yu’s and Uncle Jiang’s favorites. You and jie can figure out the rest.”
Jiang Cheng’s hands have moved from the table to his cup again, finding it not nearly as warm as when he first got it.
“I already told Lan Zhan that we were possibly going, so now I’ll need to let him know we’ve confirmed,” Wei Wuxian continues, smiling on before looking back at Jiang Cheng. “Of course you already talked to Brother Xichen, no?”
That wakes Jiang Cheng the fuck up for many reasons. There is a rush of elation first at the mention of his soulmate. Lan Xichen. Yes, Jiang Cheng finally found his soulmate and said soulmate didn’t actually take one look at him and decide he was better off somewhere else.
Instead, Lan Xichen wants to stay. As what? Well…there’s time to figure that out.
The second reason however.
Jiang Cheng fights the urge to squirm, feeling both a giddiness that threatens to warm his cheeks but also anxiety that settles in the low part of his stomach. He doesn’t say anything, but his brother has known him too long to not know what his silence means.
“You haven’t talked to him about it,” Wei Wuxian says in a deadpan manner. Suddenly the somberness of the first ten minutes of their conversations makes way for the brothers' usual chaos, lifting off them like a picnic blanket in a storm.
Jiang Cheng starts first, crossing his arms and settling into a scowl. “We’re not even together you know. We only just found each other, like, two weeks ago! It’s a little too early to be that honest about our lives, isn’t it?” He feels like he’s asking instead of telling.
“Oh my god,” Wei Wuxian buries his face in his hands, before coming back up with an exasperated expression. “I did not put myself in mortal danger to find a way to finally make you two meet, only for you to tell me this!”
“Not everyone rides into the sunset with their soulmate the moment they find one another, you know,” Jiang Cheng retorts back and then narrows his eyes at him. “Which by the way, I still owe you an ass beating for that.”
“No thanks, Lan Zhan takes care of that already--” to which Jiang Cheng loudly protests in disgust “--But seriously! What’s happened? Why aren’t you riding into the sunset with Brother Xichen? Have you two even gone on a date yet?”
Was sneaking out of his sister’s home after their fateful reunion and going to the park to talk for hours until the moon came out considered a date? Fuck if he knows, but he’s not about to ask Wei Wuxian. That’s for sure.
There's a blush on Jiang Cheng’s face even before he tried to swipe at Wei Wuxian. “Why can’t you mind your own business?!”
“You haven’t!” Wei Wuxian says dramatically aghast, If Jiang Cheng were more sure what that night meant, he might have corrected him.
But as he’s already stated, fuck if he knows.
“What’s wrong, Jiang Cheng?” Wei Ying said ruefully. “I thought you two had like love at first sight kinda thing!”
“Wei Wuxian,” Jiang Cheng bites out. “Even you and Lan Wangji had some weird history when you both found out! There was something to fall back on. You knew one another. Lan Huan and I-”
“You’re even calling him by his birth name!” Wei Wuxian nearly screeches. He places his elbows on the table and places his face between his hands in disbelief.
“If you’d let me finish, I would have told you Lan Xichen-” Jiang Cheng quickly corrects “- and I don’t know one another the way you two did. Not even as friends, okay? Soulmate or not, I can’t just declare that I’m in love with him after just really knowing him for two weeks-”
“Three.”
“ Two ,” Jiang Cheng replies sharply. “Because I wasn’t even aware of our bond the entire first week!”
Wei Wuxian groans, and lays his head down on his arms. He peaks back up at Jiang Cheng, who is drinking his coffee away. “How could you be so cruel to Brother Xichen. Have you at least kissed him?”
Jiang Cheng takes a long drink.
“Shut up.”
He keeps drinking.
“Jiang Cheng.”
“Fuck off. We haven’t had time to even see each other in person ever since the barbecue, much less do anything else.”
“Wait, are you telling me you haven’t seen one another since then?!”
“We’ve facetimed.” Quite a few times actually. Jiang Cheng accidentally fell asleep on him once, and when he woke up, there was a text from Lan Xichen telling him he looked super cute drooling into his pillow. Jiang Cheng punished his lies by sending him the entire script of the Bee Movie .
“We’ve been texting,” Jiang Cheng supplements, crossing his arms again, looking pointedly at his brother. “ Talking . You know, the thing you do before you suck someone’s dick.”
“But you do plan on sucking his dick, right?” Wei Wuxian asks, throwing the look back at him. “What’s the hold up?”
Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes. “I thought you’d know. There’s a huge project going on at Cloud Recess.”
Lan Xichen is actually the head Principal Architect of GusuLan Works, Inc. Which so happens to be the Lan family business. A decent number of buildings in the city were their works alone, not to mention their nationwide and international projects. Cloud Recess was the company’s main headquarters, where Lan Xichen has been working to death in the past week.
Jiang Cheng had been a bit overwhelmed when he had looked up their company in curiosity. Lan Xichen made it seem like it was just a tiny firm, not this near internationally recognized conglomerate. He definitely had called him up to share some words with him.
“So that's what’s been taking all of Lan Xichen’s time. Lan Wangji is the head engineer in their firm, is he not?” Jiang Cheng asked inquisitively. “I thought they were seeing more of one another recently.”
Usually the brothers worked on different floors from one another, but of course they meet up regularly for the bigger projects.
“Of course Lan Zhan told me,” Wei Wuxian said, looking impatient. “But you know you can always plan dates for the future, right?”
Jiang Cheng mutters something about nosy brothers and takes another drink.
“So?” Wei Wuxian asks, sitting up once more. “When is this project due again?”
“He said the presentation to the city was this Friday,” Jiang Cheng replies, and he fiddles with his phone. It does everything in him not to actually pout. “He said he might not be able to call much this week.”
“Well?” Wei Wuxian says, tilting his head and placing his chin on his hands. “Why don’t you give him something to look forward to?”
“What do you mean?” Jiang Cheng asks, raising an eyebrow
“I mean ask him out this weekend! Imagine, a long hard week at work, but you have a whole day right after to spend with the love of your life.”
Jiang Cheng nearly chokes. “He doesn’t think of me as--”
“No.” Wei Wuxian says firmly, placing a finger over Jiang Cheng’s lips, eyes narrowed. “Now is not the time for your denial..”
Jiang Cheng feels the back of his neck start to grow flushes, and he tries to protest but it’s muffled by Wei Wuxian’s hand.
“You didn't see the way he looks at you when you’re not noticing,” Wei Wuxian says, eyes softening for a moment that it stops Jiang Cheng from decking him across the table. “Like a sunflower following the sun.”
Jiang Cheng’s stomach flips, and he has to fight the urge to squirm. Instead he swats Wei Wuxian’s hand away. “You’re crazy! What kinda stupid metaphor was that?”
“I’m not appreciated,” Wei Wuxian laments, taking his hand back. Then he braces himself with both hands on the table, a challenge in his eyes. “ But , if you want me to shut up so badly then take the initiative! Text him already! ”
Despite the nonsense about being anyone’s love of their life, Jiang Cheng honestly didn’t think it was too bad of an idea. Lan Xichen deserved a break after this week. He sounded so exhausted over the phone last night. Jiang Cheng was increasingly worried, asking if there was anything he could do.
“Can...can you just talk to me?” Lan Xichen had said, surprising Jiang Cheng with his hesitance. “I can barely think anymore, but I don’t want to cut our call so soon.”
Jiang Cheng was reluctant to end their call as well, but he’s concerned at the real possibility of Lan Xichen collapsing on himself. “Lan Huan, please go to sleep. I can literally hear how exhausted you are over the phone, I can only imagine what you look like right now.”
For a moment there’s silence, and Jiang Cheng’s anxiety spikes. Did Xichen black out?
“A-Huan?” Jiang Cheng calls out, not really thinking. “Are you there?”
“Say it again?”
His voice comes out of nowhere, quelling his worries. Lan Xichen’s voice was warm, and with something else Jiang Cheng can’t make out. He must be really tired then.
“Say what again?” Jiang Cheng asks.
“My name.”
Jiang Cheng pauses on his writing, which he wasn’t really focusing on anyways, and puts his pen down. His heart is doing something weird, and while Lan Xichen can’t see it, he’s gaping.
“What?”
“Please say my name again.” He thinks he hears the rustling of bedsheets. “Call me A-Huan again.”
This time Jiang Cheng can’t help the splutter. “What, why? You pervert!”
Xichen laughs over the phone, actually delighted having flustered his Wanyin. He’s long understood the nuances that came with his soulmates words.
“A-Cheng,” he murmurs instead. Jiang Cheng’s heart suddenly started running a million miles per hour. He can’t even pretend to scold him for his familiarity before he’s speaking again. “My A-Cheng. How I adore you.”
Jiang Cheng's eyes widened. By the time he finally pulls himself together, all he can say half heartedly is, “Do you even know what you’re saying? You’re delirious.”
“Doesn’t mean it isn’t true,” Lan Xichen argues, but the exhaustion is heavy in his voice. Jiang Cheng scoffs quietly.
“Go to sleep, Lan Xichen.”
Lan Xichen makes a small noise. Jiang Cheng hesitates for a moment. Stupidly looking around his apartment to make sure no one was listening, and he starts to hum a lullaby he sings to Jin Ling to help him sleep. Just moments later he hears Lan Xichen’s steady breaths.
“A-Huan,” he whispers one more time.
Jiang Cheng’s cheeks grew warm at the memory. Yeah, Lan Xichen deserved a break.
“Fine,” Jiang Cheng says, ignoring the way Wei Wuxian cheers. “I’ll text him.”
“Now, ask him right now or he could make plans this weekend!”
Jiang Cheng growled, but he opened his phone.
“What are you gonna say?”
“Don’t make me overthink this,” Jiang Cheng snapped, but Wei Wuxian hears the nerves there. “I’m just gonna ask if he wants to hang out this Saturday.”
“Hang out?” Wei Wuxian splutters. “What are we? In middle school? Ask him out properly!”
“Shut up!”
In the end, Jiang Cheng asked Lan Xichen if he would like to spend the day together this Saturday, stressing the fact that Lan Xichen was under no way obligated to go anywhere with him ever really, but that it might be nice. After a second of sending it, he sends an addendum with the promise of cheesecake.
The moment he hits send, he stuffs his phone in his pocket.
“Aren’t you going to see what he says?” Wei Wuxian asks.
“It might take a second, I literally just told you he’s busy. Lan Xichen has way more important things to do than reply to a stupid text--”
His phone rings out. Both brothers blink.
Jiang Cheng takes it out of his pocket, and his eyes widen at the message that greets him.
From: Lan Huan [8:35AM]: I’d love to join you this weekend. I’m already counting the days.
They stare at the message for a second, and Wei Wuxian sits back down.
“If you two aren’t married by next year I’ll scream.”
“Oh shut up, it’s a date not a proposal!” Jiang Cheng says, and he starts to put his things together.
“Yeah, yeah,” Wei Wuxian waves, collecting his own things as well.
They walk out together, but before they part Wei Wuxian looks seriously at him again. Jiang Cheng sobers as he stands in front of his brother.
“Next weekend, right?”
Jiang Cheng swallows down hard. “Don’t fucking sleep in, or I’ll kick your ass.”
Wei Wuxian hears the words for what it really means, and he pats his arm. Then his smarmy smile makes an appearance again, shedding their solemness once more.
“Have fun on your date this Saturday,” Wei Wuxian sings songs, and waves at Jiang as he walks away. “I wanna know all the details.” He wiggles his eyebrows like a loon.
“I hope a car runs you over.”
Minutes ago, in the heart of the city across the bay, Lan Xichen received a text. He’s in the middle of a meeting, a presentation on a site’s progress full underway. Lan Xichen decides to ignore it,
It vibrates again.
The Senior Principal of GusuLan subtly glanced around to see if anyone else in the board meeting had heard the sounds. Phones were strictly forbidden during board meetings. As deftly as he can, Lan Xichen slips it out under the table. He had every single intention to turn off the device, until his eyes blinked in surprise.
The texts were from Wanyin.
He fights the twitch on the corner of his lips from expanding into a smile. Even then Lan Xichen knew he still couldn’t reply.
He moves to turn it off but the messages flash across the screen.
From: A-Cheng : [8:35 AM] I hope I’m not interrupting anything, but I was wondering if you wanted to spend this Saturday with me? Like, after your firm's project/presentation thing? I mean you don’t have to, I’m just wondering. I’ll understand if you’re busy. I just thought with all the work and stuff that you’re doing you wouldn’t mind walking around the city for a bit? Explore?
From: A-Cheng [8:35 AM] There’ll be cheesecake?
It took every single drop of self control for Lan Xichen to not smile widely and squirm as a rush of warmth ran through his body.
He had to be quick. He typed out the message and sent it out before Wanyin could change his mind. Lan Xichen wished he was alone to call Jiang Cheng, let him hear his answer.
He seems to be under the impression Lan Xichen would turn him down. As if there was anything in the world that could stop him from seeing his soulmate again.
After he sends the message Lan Xichen slips the phone back into his pocket. His expression betrays absolutely nothing.
He watches on as the partner continues with their droning presentation. These meetings were important, but they could be incredibly tedious after an hour. Yet, Lan Xichen feels suddenly reinvigorated. The assiduous week ahead no longer fills him with dread. Lan Xichen subtly glances around one last time. No one has noticed. He counts it as a victory.
“I thought I taught you better than that!”
Spoke too soon.
It’s right after the last GusuLan board member left the room, and his Uncle Qiren looks very displeased with him.
After all it was his Uncle who raised Lan Xichen and his brother. He made sure that they grew up to be respectable men; well mannered, composed, and disciplined.
Lan Qiren took over the rearing of his nephews when he could no longer stand by as his brother neglected his own children. Lan Xichen’s Uncle was not one to openly express affection, but Lan Xichen never doubted that it was there. It was just hidden by layers of lectures and propriety.
Lan Xichen internally sighs, but there’s no point in trying to excuse himself. He lowers his head, in an act of humility. “Apologies, Uncle. It won’t happen again.”
“What was so urgent that it needed to occur in the first place?” Lan Qiren asks, and it’s not really a demand but it’s close.
Lan Xichen lips form into a small smile, and he looks at his Uncle. “Just a small matter, Uncle. It won’t happen again.”
“Hmph,” Lan Qiren grunts, hands held behind him. “Make sure of it.”
Lan Xichen smiles and nods.
The conversation with his Uncle left him a little winded, and he makes his way to his office. It’s tastefully decorated, modern, and clean, with a view of the skyline outside his window. He turns on his phone again and sees that there are messages waiting for him. Lan Xichen doesn’t have to think twice before picking his thread with Jiang Cheng’s first.
From: A-Cheng [8:40AM]: You’ve got way more important things to focus on.
From: A-Cheng [8:41AM]: ...but I’ll see you Saturday.
Lan Xichen’s smile grows tender. His dear A-Cheng; so brave to ask him on a date, but so quick to fluster when Lan Xichen eagerly replies.
As for the other message…
“Knock knock.”
Lan Xichen looks up abruptly to find Nie Mingjue leaning at his doorway, giving him an amused expression. Lan Xichen looks down to see the text from said man just half an hour ago saying he was gonna stop by.
“I guess you didn’t see my message yet, given your face,” Nie Mingjue continues to say, and Lan Xichen finally breaks from his surprise.
“Da-ge,” he greets, standing up again. “I’m afraid you’re right in your assumption. Please, come in.”
Nie Mingjue was a man of great stature and reputation, even in a city as big as theirs. After all, being the city's defense attorney already gains you a level of notoriety when you’re really good at it.
Not to mention his whole family tree was littered with legendary names that splashed onto the nations' top news stories for decades. Nie Mingjue certainly had a lot to live up to, but it was nothing he couldn’t handle. The boy that Lan Xichen grew up with was always so confident and fearless, and he grew into an honorable man with an extremely generous heart.
And it had almost destroyed him.
Lan Xichen steers his memories away from those times. He was glad ( grateful ) that his best friend was finally looking well, sitting in front of him like nothing in the world could take him down. Yet even like this, Lan Xichen notices the confident shine that had always gleamed in Nie Mingjue’s eyes before was gone.
Lan Xichen wasn’t certain if it was ever to return.
But he’s forgetting something. In fact, Nie Mingjue’s visit was by no means a coincidence.
Lan Xichen smiles. “Thank you so much for agreeing to stop by. I know it was a last-minute request.” Just that morning, actually. They were just agreeing on a time when Lan Xichen put his phone away. “Should I call for some tea?”
“I’m actually more hungry than thirsty, to be honest, so I thought we could grab lunch before you can tell me your big news.” Nie Mingjue’s eyebrow arches up, clearly curious to know already.
Lan Xichen tries not to betray the conflicting emotions he feels. “Then let’s go. I apologize again for not seeing your message sooner. We were just in a meeting, and then Uncle felt the need to lecture me.”
“Lecturing the perfect First Jade of GusuLan Works?” Nie Mingjue says, feigning bewilderment. “Whatever did you do to earn your Uncle’s wrath?”
Lan Xichen does not snort, but it was close. “More like displeasure. I had my cell in the boardroom, and you know how much he hates that.”
“Yeah, I remember,” the other man says. He snickers a little. “I think he almost tore into Nie Huaisang once, doing just that.”
This time they both laugh, with Nie Mingjue loud and deep and Lan Xichen’s own mirthful bells.
“So are we going?” Nie Mingjue finally asks after a moment.
They choose a cafe not far from the office, neither really in the mood to walk too far. There was just enough time between their order for Nie Mingjue to look at Lan Xichen with a steady gaze that bore into the younger man. Lan Xichen knows what he’s going to say before it even before he hears it.
“You found him.”
The ceramic clinks as Lan Xichen place his tea down. He takes a deep breath and then looks up at his best friend. “Yes.”
Nie Mingjue stares at him a little longer and then sits up once again. “And?” He says gruffly, and there’s a note of enmity in his voice. “Why aren’t you happier about it?”
The tension in Lan Xichen winds a little further. “Honestly, I am. I just wasn’t sure….”
“If what? If I found out that my best friend found his soulmate an entire year after mine ruined so many lives and nearly destroyed my reputation and betrayed my trust?” Nie Mingjue says so bluntly, and Lan Xichen has to fight back a flinch. He stares down at the brown hue of his tea, and Lan Xichen hears Mingjue sigh.
“Xichen. I’m sorry.”
Lan Xichen’s eyes widen, and he looks up to find Mingjue looking a little tiredly at him. The guilt squeezes his stomach.
“Da-ge.”
“But did you think so little of me that I would be upset at the fact you found your soulmate?” Nie Mingjue asks. “I know what this means to you. Have known for years . Of course I would be happy for you.”
Lan Xichen feels tears prick at his eyes, and he suddenly feels so foolish . They’ve known one another since childhood. They knew of one another’s lives, with all the pain, joys, and disappointments. Lan Xichen should have trusted Mingjue more than that.
“Not upset,” Lan Xichen starts, shaking his head. He finally looks back at him, giving him the respect enough to know he owes his oldest friend this explanation. “I knew you would understand what this meant to me, and I wanted to tell you the moment I found him. I was just worried…”
“Of?”
“Is it that offensive to believe my concern of how you would take the news? Yes, he did all those things, but he broke your heart, A-Jue.” He purposefully uses a name they had both believed he outgrown.“More than that, he shattered your whole world. I had never seen you like that before in the entire time we have known one another. And it scared me.”
His voice faltered at the end, and he fought the urge to look down and hide. But Da-ge hates cowards, and he taught Xichen better than that.
He exhaled. “In other words, I wasn't sure if you were ready to talk about soulmates again. And I wouldn’t have blamed you. Please know that.”
Nie Mingjue looks at him, and Lan Xichen holds his gaze right back. After a moment, the older man leans back, rubbing the bridge of his nose. When he finally looked at Lan Xichen, the younger man could see how exhausted he really was.
“Fair enough,” Nie Mingjue concedes. He knows Lan Xichen wouldn’t have kept this if he didn’t feel genuine concern.
Nie Mingjue from a year ago might have still been angry.
But then he remembers the unnecessary guilt in Lan Xichen’s eyes, blaming himself for having brought that person into their lives.
In that case, it was also Xichen’s fault the dinosaurs went extinct.
“I should have trusted that you had only the best intention in waiting to tell me,” Nie Mingjue says, feeling suddenly remorseful for reacting so badly.
Lan Xichen nods his head once. Silence blankets over them for a moment.
“So? We got that done with.”
Lan Xichen huffs, but his small smile appears on his face again as Nie Mingjue looks at him expectantly. “What’s his name?”
Lan Xichen places his cup down again, his eyes softening as his index finger outlines the ream. “Jiang Wanyin. We found one another two weeks ago, even though we met a few days before that.”
“Sounds like there’s a story there,” Nie Mingjue says, and he settles more comfortably into his seat.
“There is, actually.”
In the end, Lan Xichen tells him everything. Of their first meeting in the rain, of the dream later that night, the days following, and the second meeting at the family gathering. Nie Mingjue listens intently, watching the smile on Lan Xichen’s face growing wider and wider as he speaks of his soulmate.
“Then what?” Nie Mingjue asks, genuinely curious but with a teasing lilt in his voice. “You two didn’t sneak out after something? Go necking off somewhere?”
Lan Xichen looks affronted, his face twisting into something akin to horror. “Who even says that anymore? Necking? What year are you living in?”
“Hey, have some respect for your elders, boy,” Nie Mingjue grunts, but he’s almost laughing again.
“For your information, there was no such thing,” Lan Xichen finally says, but he’s avoiding looking Nie Mingjue in the eye. That caught Da-ge’s attention, and he leaned in.
“Oh?”
“We simply went on a walk afterwards.”
“Is that what the kids are calling it these days?”
“No, A-Jue, really,” Lan Xichen insists, but the corner of his lip twitches. He knows Nie Mingjue is messing with him, but it’s hard not to fall for the bait. They’ve just known each other far too long. “There was a lovely park close to Jiang Yanli’s home and...and we just talked.”
They talked until the stars came out, and Jiang Cheng had been surprised that they’ve been out that long. His sister had texted him, asking him why his car was still parked outside and if he was alright. It was endearing to see Jiang Cheng call his sister to assure of his well being, and it was touching to hear his goodnight to his nephew who had jumped into the call.
Lan Xichen learned many things about Jiang Cheng that night, but the most obvious one was how important family was to Jiang Cheng. He would do anything for them, and from what Lan Xichen saw that afternoon, so would they.
Seeing his soulmate that devoted and loving in his own way stirred things in Lan Xichen’s heart. He had meant what he said to Jiang Cheng; nothing had to happen now or ever. If Jiang Cheng realizes he wants a confidant, a friend whom he could share the important moments in his life, then Lan Xichen would happily be that.
Even if it meant Lan Xichen carried his feelings alone.
But that afternoon gave Lan Xichen hope that, maybe, the idea of being something more with Jiang Wanyin was not entirely out of the realm of possibility.
“Well, I guess that settles it.”
“Settles what?” Lan Xichen asks, confused.
“I gotta give this boy the shovel talk.”
“Da-ge, no!”
In the end, Lan Xichen pays for the bill and Nie Mingjue makes him promise that he won’t take as long to introduce Jiang Wanyin.
As Nie Mingjue watches Lan Xichen walk back into Cloud Recess, waving back one last time at him, the renowned attorney turns around to return to his own firm.
Only to crash into a small body.
More like the small body crashed into him .
The woman had fallen down, loose sheets of paper littered the sidewalk from the files she had been carrying, and Nie Mingjue immediately kneels down to help her.
“I apologize-
“I’m so sorry-”
They both look up at the same time, and they are both momentarily silenced.
Nie Mingjue isn’t a coward. His voice is deceptionally steady as he greets her.
“Qin Su.”
Jiang Cheng looks at his phone, eyes widening in surprise before quickly accepting the call.
“Lan Xichen?”
He can hear the man mope before he even speaks. “No more A-Huan?”
Jiang Cheng scoffs, but he’s glad the other man isn’t there to see him biting his lips from grinning too widely.
“No,” Jiang Cheng says, clearing his throat. He glances at the time. Almost nine o'clock. “Why are you calling so late? I thought you were going to be too busy to call this week. I understand the job takes priority, you know.”
“Yes, Jiang Wanyin is most understanding,” the voice teases, and Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes. “And I greatly appreciate his benevolence. But I hope he’ll understand that I got too used to the sound of his voice before I sleep.”
Jiang Cheng almost wants to scream when he finds himself blushing over something so! So…!
“And I find myself unable to rest well without it.”
The younger of the two hugs his knees close, sitting on his old couch alone. “You’re shameless.”
“Utterly.” Lan Xichen agrees, sounding much too pleased, and Jiang Cheng wills the heat in his face to go away.
“You’re not allowed to talk like this on Saturday,” Jiang Cheng says, totally thoughtless, because now nerves have gripped him at the reminder that they have a... thing coming up.
(It’s not a date, is it? Jiang Cheng was just telling Wei Wuxian this afternoon they needed to get to know one another first. Isn’t that what dates are about though? It’s not like it would automatically mean we’re together together. Fuck fuck fuck what does Jiang Cheng say-)
“No promises,” Lan Xichen continues on, unaware of Jiang Cheng’s turmoil. “Besides, I think you secretly like me this way.”
“Very bold of you to assume I like you.”
“Jiang Cheng!” Lan Xichen cries, and Jiang Cheng finally laughs into his hand.
“Serves you right,” he says, still giggling.
“How cruel you are,” Lan Xichen says, but there is a hint of something in his voice, like he’s really not at all upset.
It totally trips Jiang Cheng up.
“You know,” he starts, feeling insecure all of a sudden. “If you’re going to be so busy this week, maybe the idea of walking around the city might be the last thing you’d want to do. I’ll understand if you’d prefer to sleep in on Saturday and stay home. I usually do that when I’ve had a rough week.”
“That’s part of the reason why I called, actually,” Lan Xichen replies evenly. Jiang Cheng tries not to feel too disappointed, but he did offer, and surely Lan Huan would prefer to rest and recover than to deal with Jiang Cheng for an entire day.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t call you sooner,” Lan Xichen says, confusing Jiang Cheng. “I wanted to say yes over the phone, but I was in a meeting, and then the rest of the day went away from me.”
Jiang Cheng blinks slowly. “Oh.”
“Jiang Cheng,” Lan Xichen says with that something again, rushing the butterflies in Jiang Cheng’s stomach. “I really would consider it an honor to spend a whole day with you after a week like this. Or any week, really. For any reason. I really can’t think of anything else that could make up for this dreadful project. Just the thought of being with you this Saturday gave me strength to get through the rest of my day.”
Pink lips part, and Jiang Cheng can’t think of anything to say to that before it’s his turn to hear Lan Xichen’s uncertain voice.
“Unless, of course, you find yourself unavailable….”
“No!” Jiang Cheng accidentally shouts, and slaps a hand over his mouth.
“No,” he repeats, calmly this time. “Of course not. I wouldn’t have asked if I thought I could be doing something else. I want to see you.”
(Oh my god can Jiang Cheng get any more embarrassing?)
“Then I’ll see you Saturday, Wanyin.”
Jiang Cheng’s heart stutters. Lan Huan’s voice sounds like he’s almost in awe.
“This weekend then,” he finally says, sounding more confident than he actually felt. Then he adds. “And I’ll make sure to text you after work. Sorry about that, I hope I didn’t get you into trouble.”
“Nothing to worry over,” Lan Xichen says, and now Jiang Cheng can hear the fatigue coming through. “You can text me anytime you want.”
“I won’t abuse my privilege like that,” he replies, lying down on the couch now. “I’ll make sure to text you after work from now on. Now sleep.”
Lan Huan yawns, “Won’t Wanyin sing to me again?”
Jiang Cheng grumbles. “I’d thought you’d forget about that.”
“Like I can ever forget anything about you.”
Jiang Cheng plants his face into the couch pillow.
This. Man.
“Shut up or I won’t sing at all,” Jiang Cheng threatens, but it sounds weak even to his own ears.
“I’ll be quiet now,” Lan Xichen replies, sleepy but amused. “Your audience awaits.”
“You talked,” Jiang Cheng says, but proceeds to hum a different song than the last one. Not a lullaby this time, but a song about the passing winter and the hope for the new spring.