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Harry is outside of the club with his back against its wall while he smokes a cigarette. The weather is nice today, the summer heat extending itself through the night. It allows him to enjoy the break from the loud music and sweaty bodies. Every so often, a person or two will come out and join him, but he feels no need to start any conversations. He enjoys the silence.
Inside the club, it’s another story. He knows he looks hot tonight, and that he’s catching a lot of attention. And that makes him feel like he needs to put on a show, in some way. There’s pressure to impress, when you know people are watching. He felt multiple pairs of eyes accompanying him when he walked across the dance floor to get here, so he paid attention to his steps, not wanting to trip in front of an audience.
He finishes his third cigarette and adjusts his clothes before heading back inside. It’s his “I’m gonna pull tonight” outfit, as Niall likes to call it. His trousers are fitted in a way that pulls attention to his ass and the sheer black button-down leaves little to the imagination for his admirers. Harry is proud of his body, he wants to show off and feel good.
He crosses the crowd in search of Niall, and finds him surrounded by people near the bar.
“Hey, Harry, you’re back!” Niall pulls him in, with a hand around his shoulders. Niall is on his way to drunk, if the smile plastered on his face is something to go by.
“Sure am. And who’s everyone?” Harry asks, looking around the group. They’re two men and a younger woman, all incredibly attractive.
“Guys, this is Harry, the friend I was talking about! Harry, these are Zain, Lewis and Lottie,” Niall says, pointing out each of them.
“So, now that Harry’s here, let’s go grab some shots!” Lewis says, and turns around to make his way to the bar without looking back to check if everyone else is following. His two friends do follow him immediately, but Harry holds Niall back a bit.
“How do you know them?”
“Don’t know, mate. But at some point I agreed to join their group for the night.”
Harry laughs at that. Typical Niall, making friends way too easily everywhere he goes.
“Alright, then. Let’s go.”
After a few shots, the newly formed group of five finds a booth for themselves and they all get chatting. But soon enough Lottie gets up, declares she is going to dance and disappears into the crowd. Niall follows suit, saying that he was going to grab another beer at the bar and be right back.
Once alone with Lewis and Zain, Harry turns towards the couple, hoping he isn’t intruding too much. It’s no fun to be a third wheel to a couple you’ve just met. But Lewis starts up a conversation with him straight away.
“So, Harry, how do you know Niall?”
“We met at a karaoke night at the bar right by our college campus, around five years ago. We’ve stuck together ever since.” Harry simplifies, but it’s not fair, considering how much more social Niall is than him. “Or I’ve stuck to him ever since, while he goes around making more friends than he can keep up with.”
Lewis and Zain laugh at that. “So, the two of you really aren’t together?” Lewis asks, leaning a bit more towards him.
Harry chokes on his own saliva at that, and bursts out laughing. “Niall and I? No way! Did it seem like that?”
Lewis shrugs at him.
“Not really. But I wouldn’t be surprised if you said you two dated either.” Zain explains.
“Well, we don’t. I mean, I love Niall, but not romantically. He’s my best friend.” Harry’s amused by that assumption. Niall is normally platonic enough with him that people don’t feel the need to confirm that they’re just friends, and he can’t think of anything he did to suggest otherwise today.
“Well, that’s cute.” Louis is smiling at him, and Harry realizes Louis’ eyes are roaming his body a bit.
Harry hums an agreement and adjusts his shirt, flustered at the attention. He looks at Zain to see if he’s noticed and Zain’s looking at him too. Harry fumbles with the empty glass in front of him.
Oh my god. Are they – are they chatting him up?
Zain’s eyes follow the movement of Harry’s hand, and he stands up. “I’ll grab us the next round.” He says and smiles to Lewis before walking to the bar.
Lewis gets even closer to Harry when Zain’s out of sight, and now their legs are completely touching. He throws an arm around Harry’s back, “Zain and I met at college two.”
“Oh?” Harry tries to keep the conversation going, but he’s trying hard not to fidget on his seat. He can feel all the points Lewis’ body is touching his. Harry lets his eyes wander a bit on Lewis, too. It’s fair, since he’s done it to him already.
Harry can’t say he didn’t find him, and Zain, attractive before. But it’s only now hitting him just how good the both of them look. Harry thinks some of it is probably the effect of them seemingly being interested in him. Mutual attraction is sexy, or something.
Lewis stops talking and smirks at Harry, making him realize he zoned out a bit. He really needs to get his shit together before they give up on him. Harry knows he looks hot, and he’s good at flirting. He can do this. Harry straightens up on his seat.
“Sorry about that, got a bit distracted,” he says, letting his eyes linger on the tattoos peeking out of the long sleeves of Lewis’ shirt. “I swear I’m not always like this.”
Lewis squeezes his shoulder, seeming amused by his change in conduct. “It’s fine, darling. Zain tells that story better, anyways.”
Zain arrives at that moment with a beer for each of them and Harry thanks him. Instead of sitting next to Lewis again, he slides in on the other side of Harry, putting a hand on his thigh. “What’re we talking about?”
“I was just saying to Harry that you’d tell him the story of how we met.”
-----------------------
Before Harry can get to his office on Friday morning, Claire, the clinic’s receptionist, is waving him over.
“Good morning, Harry!” She greets him.
“Hi, Claire. What’s up?” He asks. It’s not usual for her to need to talk to him until at least one patient has arrived, and Harry didn’t recognize any of his around the room.
“Just wanted to let you know that everyone’s health exam results are in today. You should drop by Dr. Ellis’ at sometime.” She informs him.
“Thank you. Have a good day!” He thanks her, walking down the corridor where all the treatment rooms are. He goes straight to Dr. Ellis’ door to grab his results before the day starts and the hectic schedule makes him forget about it.
As soon as he appears by the door, Dr. Ellis is standing up and motioning for him to go inside.
“Hello, Harry! C’mon in! How are you doing?”
“I’m fine, how are you?” Harry replies politely to make conversation.
“Just fine, too.” Dr. Ellis replies, looking through some papers until he finds the one he’s looking for. He reads over it while he sits down on his chair.
“Harry. I’ll be direct. Some of your test results came back slightly altered in a manner that happens to a lot of pregnant people. I decided to go ahead and check for that in the blood sample we had and the results came back positive. So, I’m here to be the bearer of good news. Congratulations!”
Dr. Ellis offers Harry a bright and kind smile, but Harry is frozen.
What is happening?
He can feel himself starting to panic and Dr. Ellis looks worried now.
“Harry? Do you need me to step out for a moment?”
Harry feels sick, so he closes his eyes and mentally tells his breakfast to stay in his stomach. The worst of the nausea leaves after a few deep breaths, so he dares look at Dr. Ellis again. He dries up his clammy hands on his pants and tries to recompose himself.
“No, I’m fine.” Harry says, and his voice comes out shaky. “Are you sure?”
“Yes, no doubt about it.” Dr. Ellis gives Harry the paper with all the information, and Harry takes it.
“Can you walk me through what my next steps should be?” Harry asks, unsure on how to feel, but at least he can be practical about it.
“Sure. I can refer you to an obstetrician colleague of mine. You make an appointment as soon as you can. She will check your fetus’ health and development and help you with planning everything related to the pregnancy.” Dr. Ellis explains, watching Harry’s expression closely.
“Alright. Obstetrician appointment.” Harry takes the little card Dr. Ellis hands out to him, which has a name and contact information on it.
“That’s I can help you with, I’m afraid.” Dr. Ellis adds, and Harry nods his head, getting up from his chair and extending his hand to the doctor.
Dr. Ellis shakes it, but looks hesitant.
“Are you okay to go back to work?”
“Yes, of course. Thank you, Dr. Ellis.” Harry says automatically.
“Take care, Harry. If you need anything, you know where to find me.”
Harry nods again before rushing out of the room and to his office. He closes the door behind him and drops his head against it for a second, heart beating loud on his chest. This is so sudden. He didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary in his body at all. How could he miss a child growing inside of him?
Harry takes some more calming breaths. It’s okay. It’s gonna be okay. He’ll make an appointment with the obstetrician during lunch break today, and they’ll figure it all out. It will be fine.
He needs to focus on that, his patients don’t deserve to be treated by a spaced-out physiotherapist.
He repeats the words to himself until he feels functional again.
Harry stands up straight, fixes his hair on the small mirror hung above the sink in his office, and opens his door again.
Work will have to be enough distraction for him now.
-----------------------
Harry gets an appointment with Dr. Chung on Tuesday, so his weekend passes as a blur of mixed feelings, raging from sadness and fear to excitement and longing.
Harry used the time to decide that not having his baby isn’t an option for him. Not when he craves motherhood. He’s always wanted children and dreamed of what his baby would look like in the future or what he would name them.
But ultimately, Harry’s nervous. He knows the situation he is in isn’t ideal. Harry always dreamed of getting pregnant, yes. However, it always came right alongside dreaming of getting married and owning a house with a backyard. He’s awfully traditional in that sense. He wishes he had a partner to be by his side for this. The idea of going through pregnancy and months with a newborn alone is scary and, ultimately, upsetting.
Anyways, he has to wrap his head around it and face the situation.
He walks into Dr. Chung’s office bright and early on Tuesday. “Hi, Dr. Chung.”
“Good morning, Mr. Styles, come right in.”
He sits at the chair the doctor points out.
“So, first rodeo, mama?”
“Yes, it is.”
“Well then, I’ll be asking you some questions and giving some orientation about what you should expect. Please feel free to ask me anything at all, alright?”
Harry is comforted. The more Dr. Chung talks to him, the lighter he gets. He was worried about the fact he’s been drinking and smoking even after conception, since he didn’t notice any of the typical signs of early pregnancy soon enough. He’s better now that Dr. Chung assured him that he shouldn’t beat himself up over it, and that his baby should be fine with him keeping it healthy from now on. And apparently some people don’t experience lots of bad pregnancy symptoms early on, or women confuse it with pre-menstrual discomforts. So it’s fairly common.
After that’s all done, Dr. Chung leads Harry to the adjoining room, where all the ultrasound equipment is. He lays down on the bed, pulls his shirt up and lets Dr. Chung put the gel on his stomach.
There is some moving around with her wand and then “here, can you see them?” Dr. Chung asks, pointing to a little white blur on the screen.
And yea, not only can Harry see it, but he’s in love immediately. Wow. That little blob is his child. This is real. They are real. He can’t stop the tears leaking out of his eyes while he stares at the monitor.
Dr. Chung smiles at him and he apologizes for being emotional.
“It’s okay, it’s an emotional moment. Take your time.” Dr. Chung reassures him.
Harry wipes his eyes and then asks, “How far along am I? Can you give me an estimated conception date?”
“Sure thing. It looks like you’re over eight weeks now, so that would make conception the first week of July?”
“Oh, wow, more than two months already. I have to start planning a nursery.” Harry says, still staring at the monitor in awe.
Dr. Chung laughs at him. “You’ve got seven months still, don’t worry. And I’ll print you some copies of these images so you can take them home, okay?”
“Please! Can you print three? My mom will kill me if I don’t give her one.”
As soon as he’s out of the doctor’s office, Harry takes his phone out and opens his Instagram account. The third photo in sequence is one of him and Niall just before leaving his flat to go to their favorite club, June 6th. He laughs at his phone, even though he kind of wants to cry again. The universe thinks his life is a cosmic joke! Obviously, out of the three different one-night stands he’s had in the past two months, Harry had to get pregnant the day he had a threesome with a couple.
This makes things harder, but it’s fine. He will tell them, and if they don’t want the baby, he will make plans as a single mom just fine. Harry can’t deprive his baby of a dad just because he’s dating someone else, he needs to have a choice.
“It’s gonna be okay, little one, you’re gonna make me so happy, and I already love you so much.” He whispers to his non-existent bump. He sends Niall a text asking him to come over after work because he’ll be ordering pizza for dinner, and starts making the walk to work.
-----------------------
Niall lets himself in and walks straight into Harry’s room.
“I hope you already ordered the pizza because I’m starving.” Niall says, throwing himself down on the bed next to Harry.
“Yeah, it should be here any minute now.” Harry puts his phone away.
“What happened, H? You look tense.” Niall is watching him with a worried expression that he hopes fades away once he tells him what is going on. He needs some positive support.
Harry reaches for his bag at the foot of the bed and grabs a copy of the sonogram. He hands it to Niall, who looks at it wide-eyed. He looks at it for a few long seconds, processing the information.
“Are you – are you pregnant?” Niall practically shouts at Harry.
“Don’t announce it to all my neighbors!” Harry shrieks back at him. “And yeah, a little over eight weeks.”
Niall looks at the sonogram closer. “Oh, wow. Wow. I don’t know what to say.”
Harry lies down and grabs a pillow, hugging it close for comfort. Niall’s shock turns into a frown.
“What are you going to do with it?”
Harry can’t help the tears that flood his eyes, “I’m not getting rid of them, if it’s what you’re asking.”
“Sorry. Sorry.” Niall takes the pillow from his grasp and brings him up for a hug. They stay like that for a while, until Harry gets his emotions under control and is sniffing lightly against his shirt.
“I’m sorry for asking.” Niall apologizes again.
“No, it’s fine, it’s a valid question. I’m just,” he sighs and motions around with his hands, “all over the place with emotions.”
They lay there quietly for a while, until Harry gets the courage to talk about the bad part of the subject. He clears his throat to get Niall’s attention.
“So, Ni, I don’t know who the baby’s dad is. I mean, it’s Lewis or Zain. But I don’t know which and I don’t have either of their contacts.”
Niall bursts out laughing at that, and he can’t help it but follow suit. They both laugh until they are out of breath, even though it’s not that funny.
“Holy shit, Harry. What the actual fuck.” Niall says once they’ve both calmed down. “You know I’ll be here for you no matter what, yeah?”
Harry smiles gratefully. He loves Niall so much. “I know, Ni.”
They wait for the pizza to arrive, and Niall decides they should look for the possible fathers as they eat on Harry’s bed. They search on Instagram and Facebook for everyone named Lewis or Zain in the entire state of New York. They go through all of the followers from the club they attended. They check pictures tagged there going back to two months. It seems like that couple is impossible to find.
“Maybe they gave us fake names, Niall.”
“That’s crazy, H.”
“Maybe they are those types that like roleplaying so they were pretending to be completely different people that night.”
Niall laughs at him.
“What are you even saying, Harry?!”
“I don’t know!!! It was just a hypothesis!!!” Fuck. The pizza is long gone, it’s getting late and Harry is tired. He’s seriously considering giving up.
But then he has a last idea.
“Ni, maybe we should search for that girl that was with them, Lottie.”
“Yeah, that’s good, H!”
And then they find her, Lottie Tomlinson, who apparently owns a whole fucking brand of clothing. Harry will check that out later. He follows the account and opens the messages, hoping Lottie reads messages from people she doesn’t follow back.
Hi, Lottie! It’s Harry here, from the club on 14th st and 5th av.
Remember me?
Harry and Niall are so glad it takes her only five minutes to reply. They’d die if they had to wait hours.
Hey Harry! What’s up?
Okay. Straight to the point it is.
I’m looking for Lewis and Zain?
He hopes she doesn’t think it’s weird Harry wants to find them.
Louis and Zayn? I’ll send you their users
@louistommo @malik1993
Oh. Louis and Zayn.
“Why didn’t we try different spellings? Oh my god, we’re so dumb!”
Thank you so much! Xx
Harry sends follow requests to both accounts, and when neither accepts him half an hour later, he shoves Niall out the door after promising him to text whenever something happens and calls it a night.
Harry is already climbing in bed to sleep when his phone lights up with two notifications.
Louis Tomlinson (@louistommo) accepted your follow request. Now you can see their photos and videos.
Louis Tomlinson (@louistommo) started following you.
Harry’s heartbeat picks up. He wasn’t expecting this until the next morning. Oh no, what is he even gonna say? Should he say something now or wait a bit? Fucking shit, he doesn’t want to do this.
But he has to. Harry takes a few deep breaths, and opens the first notification. It sends him to Louis’ profile. He doesn’t seem very active, there are a few selfies and some random photos featuring his feet. His last one was posted a few days ago and is geotagged in Los Angeles.
Oh, what if he lives there? That does make things harder. It would be better if they talked in person.
Okay. It’s now or never. Harry opens Louis’ dms.
Hey, Louis! How are you? It’s Harry, from the club on 14th st and 5th av. We met 2 months ago.
Louis comes online and replies instantly.
Hi darling! I’m just great, how are you?
Looking at your photos, I’m really proud at Z and I for that night
Harry blushes, smiling to himself. Then he remembers why he’s talking to Louis and thinks, bitterly, he might regret saying that very soon. But he’ll use the flirting as an opportunity to get Louis to meet up with him.
I’m fine, thanks for asking!
And yea… it was a good one, right?
I hope this doesn’t sound too forward but I was hoping you and Zayn wanted to meet up again sometime? X
The next reply takes a few minutes, and Harry uses the opportunity to let Niall know he’s talking to Louis.
We’d like that very much actually
I’ll be back in NYC on Friday
Give me your number so it’s easier to talk?
Harry releases a breath he didn’t even know he was holding. First step done, he found them and got them to talk to him. Now onto step two: possibly changing their lives forever with fatherhood.
-----------------------
It’s Saturday evening and Harry is sitting across from Louis and Zayn is the restaurant they chose for their “date”. They are bickering about something, and Harry allows himself to zone out a bit. They look absolutely stunning together and, above all, happy. He hates being the reason people are upset, he lives for making everyone happy. He hopes they decide this is good news, and that they want to be in their baby’s life. Harry stops his train of thought before it goes dark and he gets anxious.
Harry clears his throat, smiling at Louis and Zayn. “So, I actually don’t remember what you guys said you work with?”
“We probably didn’t talk about work that night”, Louis says with a smirk. “I write music and sell them to artists, basically,” he adds with a shrug.
Zayn rolls his eyes and tells Harry, “He’s being modest, he works as a producer for a lot of the artists that he writes for too, and a lot of his shit ends up on radio.”
“Like I said, I write music and sell them to artists, Zayn.”
Harry laughs a bit at that. It’s cute how Zayn is trying to show Louis off.
“Anything I’d know, then? I listen to pop.” He asks, trying not to seem too excited or something. That’s not the reason why he had sex with him, but it’s pretty cool that he writes music for celebrities! He’s probably friends with them too and has industry gossip to share.
“I don’t know.” Louis answers, but Zayn rolls his eyes again and says Dua Lipa.
“No way!” Harry says maybe a bit too loudly. He gets embarrassed at that and can feel his cheeks warming up. “Sorry, it’s just that I love her albums. And all her singles are bangers! Oh my god, she has a Grammy! You have a Grammy by proxy!”
Zayn is smiling at Harry, clearly proud of Louis and loving Harry’s excitement. Louis looks a bit shy at that, fixes his fringe but smiles at him too.
“It’s her Grammy, but I helped some, yea.” He adds humbly.
“So cool. You live in LA, then? With the big producers?” Harry asks.
“No, no. Our home is here in New York. Like, I can do a lot of my writing and stuff from home if I have to. I just have to travel a good amount to meet potential clients and things like that. Zayn here,” he says, knocking his shoulder against Zayn’s and smiling at him, “has two apple farms in Pennsylvania, but he sells to markets in the state of New York mostly so he’s always back and forth too. So we decided on a common ground.”
“A farmer and a music writer and producer, how odd. You two really fit though.” Harry says, happy about the fact that if they wanted, they could visit their child. They all live in the same city. That’s good. And they do fit together, they seem like a lovely couple.
“We know each other from before that, as you know. When I was studying business and had no clue what I was gonna do with that diploma, and Lou was studying English Lit.” Zayn explains to Harry, and he looks fond of the memories and years they’ve spent together.
“Oh wow, and you’ve managed to stay together through the changes. That’s sweet.” And it is. So extremely sweet. Harry has to drop a bomb on that tonight. His stomach drops a bit, and he fidgets to try to get the cold feeling to stop.
Harry looks down at their plates and everyone is finished. So he takes a deep breath and decides to tell them about his pregnancy already. It’s better if he gets it over with. He clears his throat again, looking back up.
“So, I’m sorry to change topics like this but I wanted to talk to you guys about something, actually.”
Louis and Zayn look surprised at that, but remain quiet for him to keep on talking.
“I’m pregnant and one of you is the father.” Harry rushes out, and then stares at them waiting for a reaction.
“What?” Louis is the first to react out loud.
It makes Harry anxious, so he starts rambling. “I found out just last weekend! I didn’t realize I had all the symptoms and I went to the doctor on Tuesday and she confirmed everything. But I don’t really expect –“
“Harry, please stop talking, love.” Louis says, grabbing his hands on top of the table and bringing them closer to him. He looks at Zayn, probably trying to gauge what he’s feeling on the matter.
A quiet minute passes by, then Louis takes a deep breath, looking back at Harry blankly.
“Are you sure about this?”
“Yes, I have an ultrasound here with me if you wanna see? I’m nine weeks along now, you can do the math.” He’s a bit scared. Out of the reactions he imagined happening, none were so dull.
Harry looks back and forth between Zayn and Louis. Zayn is looking out the window now, looking tense but not saying anything. Louis is watching him with a sad expression now, and Harry feels terrible. He knows logically it’s not only his fault that he’s pregnant, but he feels so guilty about it now.
Louis looks back at him, “Yea, I’d love to see it, please.”
So Harry takes his hands back, gets it from his bag and hands it over. “You can have it if you want, I got an extra copy just in case.”
Louis gives him a half smile that doesn’t really seem genuine, “Thanks.”
He stares at it for a while before poking Zayn’s arm and handing the ultrasound to him. It’s the first reaction Zayn let’s out, a quiet hum when he takes a look at the printed blob of cells.
“How do we know it’s really ours, though? Can we get a DNA test?” Zayn asks, and his tone is accusatory, implicating Harry’s lying, trying to get something out of them. Harry sees red.
What the fuck? Fuck guilt. Like, he gets Zayn’s question, rationally. But Harry’s more than offended at his tone. He’s not here asking them to drop their lives and give him money or something. He’s literally telling them as a courtesy, fuck them.
“I’m not lying. We can get a paternity test first thing on Monday. And like I said, I’m not asking anything from you. I don’t expect anything from you. I’m telling you because my child deserves me telling you ever since I decided to keep them. But it’s none of your business if you don’t want it to be.”
“Harry, Zayn didn’t mean to offend you, it’s just –“, Louis tries placating him.
But Harry feels defensive of his baby. They are not bad news, even if totally unexpected. He’s not trying to scam anyone. Of course he will get a fucking paternity test. He needs them for that, though.
“I’m having them whether you want them or not. I’m gonna love and cherish them. I just think you should know about their existence and you should have the choice to be in their life. So either one of you can be registered as their dad – or both as their dads I guess – and be part of their life, or I’ll be a totally single mom and never bother you again.”
Louis and Zayn are staring at him, probably shocked at his new outburst.
“Okay. Can we meet up again on Monday morning to get the paternity test? It will give us time to wrap our heads around the news, too.” Louis asks softly.
“Sure. That’s fine.” Harry tells them.
The silence of the table becomes a lot to deal with then, so he decides to leave before he starts spewing words out of his mouth again.
“I’m gonna leave you two to it, then.” He opens his bag to take out some money for his food.
Louis grabs his hand again.
“It’s okay, we’ve got it, yea?” He gives Harry a tentative smile, probably trying to make him feel better. “Do you need anything else? Are you okay to get home?”
“Thanks, but you don’t have to pay for my things. And no, I’m fine.”
“I want to pay for your dinner tonight.” Louis replies decisively. “I’ll text you to arrange the details for Monday.”
“Alright.” Harry stands up then, and has to control himself not to run out of the restaurant. He needs his house like 10 minutes ago, a hot shower and a good cry. Maybe a cuddle too. Hopefully Niall doesn’t have plans tonight.
-----------------------
It’s a month later and Harry is on his way to meet Louis and Zayn, and lawyers. Harry huffs internally. Rich people.
But it’s okay. If they want to arrange an amount of money to pay him monthly and visits every so often, he’s fine by it. Harry will have main custody of his baby, they’ll get to know their dad and he can save money for emergencies, maybe start a college fund. It’s a win-win situation. Lawyers are a formality, given how much they all agree on.
They did get a DNA test after the messy revelation dinner, which was a tense affair. The results came back saying Louis was actually the child’s biological father. Now Harry is thirteen weeks along, which means he’s out of the first trimester and finally can start getting things done.
Telling his mom and sister was nice, even if a little awkward due to the weird situation he’s in. Anne cried at the two ultrasounds he gave her and Gemma started talking about cute onesies she’d get for his baby.
Telling his coworkers was pleasant, too. Everyone’s excited. Pregnancies tend to lift people’s spirits, so it’s good. Harry felt more confident in his capability to be a mother after hearing about how everyone thought he’d be great.
He would be great. He knows it. Harry wants this.
He hates going to meet lawyers about this, though. Makes him feel like having a baby is a business transaction or something. It’s odd. But Zayn, and Louis, were very adamant about this.
“When parents are not together, one has to pay pension to the one with main custody. That’s a law, I think? And besides, I think it’s fair for Louis and I to pay for things or give you pension. It just isn’t fair for you to shoulder all of the expenses alone, when we’re just as responsible. Babies need a lot of shit. We can get lawyers involved to discuss the amount of money and other things. But Louis and I are willing to go out shopping with you too. Maternity clothes, the nursery at your house, anything we can predict the baby might need. Some family members might want to give you things too.” Zayn explained to Harry, when they were discussing how to move forward with their lives after this and Harry rejected their offered money.
“Lottie will actually kill me if you don’t let her take you shopping for baby things.” Louis joked. And Harry couldn’t say no. He has pride, but he’s not stupid. He knows this is right and fair, he’s not selling himself or his child.
Besides, his baby does deserve only the best if they can have it.
-----------------------
Harry’s on the train to New Jersey to celebrate Christmas with his family. Anne planned this whole late lunch event and invited all friends and family members that live nearby. Harry initially hoped it would be a quiet Christmas so he could prepare for the next year, when no doubt everyone was going to want to meet the new baby. But Anne is clearly using the opportunity to show Harry’s bump off and make a big deal of the gender announcement.
He was going to call his mom out on it, but he figured Anne can have this one. It’s her first grandchild, after all. And Harry has been hiding the baby’s gender just to have a moment for it on Christmas. Anne’s excitement is partially his own fault.
The train slows down and Harry gets up. He puts his scarf back on before leaving, and thankfully spots Gemma immediately.
“Let’s go, before my niece, or nephew, freezes to death.” Gemma says, grabbing Harry’s bag and walking in the direction she parked their mom’s car.
“Hi, Gems, I missed you too!” Harry says once they’re finally settled inside the car.
“Oh, shove off, I saw you just last week.”
Harry rolls his eyes to pretend to be annoyed, but Gemma’s right. They’ve actually been seeing each other way more often than before, since Gemma decided to take it upon herself to help Harry with all baby related things on weekends. They recently finished building all the furniture for the nursery – a crib, a changing table and a small wardrobe.
“Just a heads up, but mom is really excited about the dinner thing. Like, overly excited.” Gemma looks a bit apologetic at that. “I kind of want to tie her down on a chair to see if she’ll calm down.”
“Yeah, yeah, I’ve figured it would be like that. Don’t worry, I mentally prepared myself for this.” Harry grabs Gemma’s hand on the console and squeezes for a second, before letting go. “Besides, if it becomes too much, I can just go take a nap in my room and blame it on the pregnancy.” He smirks. He’s joking. Mostly.
They get to their mom’s street and Harry immediately spots five cars parked in front of it. He groans.
“You are the last one to arrive, I think.” Gemma explains.
As soon as Harry steps out of the car, Anne is opening the door and motioning for them to come in, “Harry! Finally, you’re here! Come on in to see everyone!”
Harry takes a deep breath, “I’m going, mom!”
He waits for Gemma to get his bags to give himself a few extra seconds and then heads inside.
Okay, he can do this. He loves his family, he loves his baby, this will be fine.
A few hours later, Harry is exhausted. But he’s also happy. He’s sitting on the couch, feet propped up on the coffee table, and drinking some hot chocolate. He is being so pampered, it’s actually amazing. Once he declared he couldn’t stay on his feet any longer, everyone started offering to get things for him, people rotating between the seats around him to talk and ask questions about the pregnancy.
Their happiness and support are actually a lot more than Harry expected, given the situation with Louis. Gemma or Anne probably talked to everyone about that before he arrived.
Finally, it’s Anne who sits next to him.
“How are you feeling, H?”
“I’m great, mom. Thank you for this. I mean, I’m tired, but this is nice.” Harry smiles at his mom.
Anne rests her hand on Harry’s belly.
“I’m glad you think so. When are you telling me the baby’s gender, huh?”
Harry laughs at his mom, shaking his head.
“Well, no time like the present.” He stands up, and grabs the wrapped box he put under the Christmas tree earlier. “Go on, open it.”
Anne stands up and gets everyone’s attention, announcing it is time for the gender reveal. Once everyone manages to fit properly in the living room, Harry urges her to unwrap her present.
Inside the box, there’s a matching “world’s best grandmother” shirt and “world’s best granddaughter” onesie, along with a card signed by “Amelia Jane Styles”.
It’s possibly the cheesiest gift that exists on earth. Harry’s a bit embarrassed of himself and he knows this might incentive his mom to become that grandmother, but he couldn’t help it. He was biased when he went out shopping for presents, two days after his last doctor’s appointment.
Anne starts crying, and some family members are cooing over the scene.
“Amelia Jane! I’m having a granddaughter!” There’s some cheering, and then Harry gets an armful of Anne hugging him tightly. “Oh, H, I’m so happy.” She says, tears gathering in her eyes again.
“Mom, stop crying, please. You’ll make me cry too,” Harry says, wiping a teardrop slipping down Anne’s face.
Gemma hugs Harry from his other side, and Anne bends down to talk to his bump, “Nice to meet you, Amelia.”
“Cheers! To another strong Styles woman in the world.” Gemma declares.
-----------------------
Harry is in his last month of pregnancy now and he’s tired of it. His back hurts, his feet are swollen and he’s just cranky.
The original plan was for Harry to buy as much groceries as possible in one go, to make use of Niall’s availability to actually carry everything for him. But his patience is gone and he’s just tired of being pregnant.
Harry’s breath is coming out shallower and he presses his hands against his eyes to avoid tears from coming out. He’s totally overreacting. He shouldn’t be this upset over shopping for food. But Harry has no clue how to stop it.
He’s still in the same position when Niall finds him.
“Hey, H. What’s wrong?” Niall wraps his arms around Harry and moves his fingers across Harry’s hips in a soothing manner.
Harry takes a deep breath to calm himself better and pushes his hair back.
“Nothing, really, I’m just tired. Let’s go, I’ve got enough food to last until we can do this again.” He says, but doesn’t move out of Niall’s hold.
“Oh, what a lovely couple! Your child will be just beautiful”, an older woman says as she stops her shopping cart next to theirs. She’s looking down at Harry’s bump with a big smile on her face.
“Erm, thanks?” Niall says, tightening his hold around Harry and pulling him closer to his side.
That’s it. Harry can’t take this anymore. He breaks down crying and he doesn’t try to stop the tears from falling down his face. He’s aware there’s an exchange between Niall and the lady but he can’t hear it over his sobs.
Next thing he knows, his head is pressed against Niall’s shoulder and Niall is holding Harry against his chest, whispering various reassurances to the distraught man.
He manages to calm down, and remains in the position Niall put him on. Once Harry’s only sniffing a bit, Niall asks “better now? Can I let you go?”
Harry steps out of his hold, “yeah, I’m sorry about that.”
He wipes his face in an attempt to make it seem like he didn’t just have a breakdown in the middle of a supermarket.
“Don’t worry about it, H.”
Harry gives Niall a half-smile before he takes the cart again and they both start making their way slowly to the cash register.
He thinks about his outburst. He knows it happened because there’s been something bothering him for a while.
Harry feels inadequate with his pregnancy and motherhood sometimes.
He can’t help it thinking he’s making bad choices for Amelia. He feels his baby move around a bit, and he rubs his tummy soothingly. Maybe Amelia can hear his thoughts and he shouldn’t be thinking this stuff.
Harry knows, objectively, he is wrong. But he can’t help the fear and insecurity that threatens to consume him sometimes. His brain won’t shut up about it.
All family structures are beautiful. Love and attention are what a child needs, not married parents. It’s absurd to even consider that to be a problem. He knows single moms with a lot less support than he has who are great moms all the time. They are actually amazing most of the time.
Maybe that’s the problem. Harry knows for a fact he doesn’t compare to so many strong mothers he’s seen.
Harry’s startled by Niall touching his shoulders. He looks around and see that it’s their turn to go through the cashier.
“Where did you go?” Niall asks.
“You don’t wanna know.”
Niall frowns at him.
“You know I don’t mind people assuming Amelia is mine, right? It’s an honor.”
“I know. I wish you really were, though. I mean, her dad.” Harry smiles.
“No, you don’t.” Niall rolls his eyes, putting the groceries in the bag they brought with themselves.
“No, I don’t.” Harry agrees. “But it would make things easier.”
“You don’t know that, maybe I’d flee to Ireland or something.”
“Shut up.” Harry jokes, and looks down at Amelia again. Niall is right, in a way, because things could actually be a lot worse.
Harry takes a deep breath. It will be fine. It has to be.
-----------------------
“Oh, mom. Thank you for coming! You didn’t have to.” Harry says, hugging Anne as best as he can with his giant bump in the way.
“Nonsense, Harry! Of course I’d be here.” Anne drops his bags on the hallway and bends down to kiss Harry’s bump. “How are you Miss Amelia? Getting ready to meet us in a week?”
“She’s getting ready to kick me and sit on my bladder.” Harry replies unamused. He locks the front door and walks to the living room, where Anne will probably be staying for the next two weeks.
Anne rolls her eyes at Harry.
“You complain about it now but you’ll miss it. You’ll wish she was sitting on your bladder after she wakes you up for the 3rd time on the same night to feed.”
“Can you make it seem a bit worse? I wasn’t worried already.” Harry takes a deep breath, looking down at the couch. He turns his back to it and grabs its arms, lowering himself slowly. Once he’s on it, he lets out a groan and puts his feet on the coffee table.
“Now that you’re here, I’m allowing myself to stay in this position until I need to pee again. So, like, for fifteen minutes.”
Harry ends up being able to sit on the couch watching TV for an hour before he feels something uncomfortable happening on his pelvis and realizes his pants are wet. He waddles his way to the bathroom and sees it’s not pee.
“Hey, mom. Hm, I – I had some like clear discharge? It was a bit like I peed my pants but I don’t think it came from my dick? Is that my water breaking?” Harry says loudly, hoping his mom can hear him.
Anne comes quickly and opens the bathroom door.
“Yeah, H! Probably!”
“Mom, what the fuck, I’m half naked. Close the door.”
Rolling her eyes at Harry, Anne closes the door and speaks through it.
“I’m gonna go get you a new pair of pants and grab everything else we need, then I’m driving you to the hospital, okay?”
“Yeah, thanks.” Harry sighs on the toilet. “Couldn’t you wait a few more days, love?” He asks his bump while tossing his wet pants in the hamper. Anne sticks her hands inside the bathroom, holding out the change of clothes for Harry.
“You’re awfully calm, H.”
“It’s because it doesn’t feel like anything big is happening. Isn’t it supposed to hurt?” Harry’s heartbeat picks up. “Am I supposed to be in pain right now? Is something wrong?”
Anne walks into the bathroom again and grabs his hand. “Don’t panic. Sometimes waters break before labor starts, it’s fine. You will start getting contractions anytime now.”
Harry closes his eyes and counts to ten in his head. “Yeah. Okay.”
Anne pulls Harry’s hands weakly. “C’mon, to my car.”
Once he’s already in the car, he texts Niall and Gemma that Amelia is coming a bit early and locks his phone. When the date appears on the screen, Harry huffs out a laugh under his breath. March 20th. He rubs his bump, “you’re coming early so you can be a Pisces, huh, baby?”
-----------------------
Harry sits down on his bed with a sigh. Amelia is finally sleeping and Harry’s torn between doing some laundry and cleaning or just napping until Amelia needs something again. She has a lot of demands for such a tiny creature.
Harry smiles. He’s so in love. He can’t even be mad at that. But he is exhausted.
Resting it is.
Deciding to check his texts and e-mails before his nap, Harry scoots over the bed to lay on his pillows properly and grabs his phone from where it is plugged on the bedside table.
He opens the Gmail app and there’s an unexpected message waiting for him: hope you like it x
It’s from Louis, and there’s an audio attached.
Wrote this for a big one, listen out for it on the radio.
I’m sending you the original demo with Zayn’s voice though.
All my shares on the song will go straight to you and little Amelia. Don’t be shocked when some money magically appears in your account.
P.S.: Don’t mind the gender swap, it’s more commercial like that.
Louis
What the fuck is his life. Harry laughs and hovers his fingers over the audio file for a few seconds before having courage to click on it.
She worked her way through a cheap pack of cigarettes
Hard liquor mixed with a bit of intellect
And all the boys, they were saying they were into it
Such a pretty face, on a pretty neck
It sounds good. It’s rocky and strong. Zayn’s voice is fucking flawless.
Oh, I think she said
I’m having your baby
It’s none of your business
And then Harry’s laughing. Oh my god, Louis. Harry loves it.