Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Zuko had never noticed him before. Well, that wasn’t totally true. Obviously, he had noted how his neon red-orange tie-dye sweatshirt contrasted his gray eyes and dark hair; otherwise, he wouldn’t have recognized him at all. He had never actually noticed the kid before, hadn’t fully acknowledged his existence. The boy was in that same neon hoodie, baggy jeans, and shoes—that looked older than he was—that he seemed to wear every week. This group therapy was supposed to be for high schoolers only, but he had such a baby-face that Zuko wasn’t sure if the organizers had recently opened it up to middle schoolers too. It’s not like the organizers got paid more if more people came. It was a free program. 

“Aang,” Dr. Minami began slowly. “Do you have something to share with the group to get us started tonight?” 

“Nope!” the boy— Aang —said cheerfully. Zuko couldn’t understand how there could be so much light still in those gray eyes. He had noticed the absence that resided in the eyes of so many of the other teens around him. They were all struggling with something and the naive optimism that seemed to come from the kid seemed to rub Zuko the wrong way. 

“I think you do have something,” the doctor said gently, “as your appearance has changed since we last saw you.” 

“Oh yeah!” Aang pulled his hood off of his now bald head, further revealing the bright blue arrow that stretched across his skull and pointed between his eyebrows. Momentarily, Zuko saw the hint of another arrow on his hand. “I got a tattoo!” 

It’s permanent , Zuko thought aghast to himself, eyes widening. The hell is wrong with him? 

“Katara and I went on Saturday to get it done. It’s pretty cool isn’t it?” 

“I think it looks wonderful,” a girl to Zuko’s right in a wrinkled black shirt and green jeans said. She had turned her head towards Aang’s general direction but didn’t seem to be looking actually towards him. He also hadn’t noticed her before. 

Aang laughed out a thanks while Dr. Minami reprimanded that “sarcastic comments should be refrained from, as this is a positive space for trust and growth.” The girl laughed, turning her head back towards the counselor so that Zuko could see her face, her cloudy green eyes catching the light.

“It’s okay, Dr. Minami, I really don’t mind,” Aang reassured with a chuckle. The psychologist sighed and said they should begin their session.

Zuko had tried to pay attention the best he could throughout the session, answer questions, and give advice. Dr. Minami expected that from him as he was the oldest one there. He had recently turned eighteen, officially making him a solid year older than most of the other participants. Uncle had told him that attending these sessions would help him, he just hadn’t listened. He went five years trying to ignore what had happened and move on. He didn’t want to discuss it with anyone—it was none of their business and he was fine. He’d only agreed to go when the events of that night slowly crept into his dreams and kept him from sleeping. His uncle was right that mental health was just as important as physical health. So as embarrassed as he was to show up to these sessions once a week, he knew it had to be done. He also didn’t want his uncle to have to pay for any part of it. Zuko was well aware that money was tight and his issues shouldn’t add any more stress to Uncle’s already full plate. 

“Does anyone want to share any positive progress they made this week?” 

“I do,” the blind girl stated nonchalantly. “I told my parents they can eat my ass.” 

There was a heavy sigh, followed by the doctor’s exasperated words of, “Please, tell me that’s not verbatim, Toph.” 

“It’s not. I told them that I don’t appreciate how they coddle me and that I’m a normal teenager outside of, you know… my eyes.” She waved a hand in front of her face with a sarcastic smile. Dr. Minami nodded as Toph continued, “I told them that it feels like they aren’t trying to get to know me. They can’t see anything that makes me special besides my blindness and aren’t actually giving me a chance to prove myself in any way.” 

“How did they respond to that?” It was a gentle question that provoked a strained laugh. 

“How do you think? They told me that I don’t actually understand my ‘disability’ and how ‘fragile’ I actually am. I can’t get through to them that I really just view being blind as an inconvenience rather than a disability. I navigated getting here from my house all by myself. I got on a bus, paid the driver, got off at the right stop, found the church, and I’m here. That’s more than some adults can do!” 

Part of Zuko was amazed at her grit. He remembered his terror at the thought of being blind in one eye after what his father did, all his anxiety over likely damage to his corneal tissue and not just his face. Sure, his vision was worse in that eye, but he remembered being grateful for not being blind. Reaching up, he gently pushed into the burn scar around his left eye, as Dr. Minami provided some sort of guidance before asking if anyone in the group had a similar experience and could give advice. Zuko didn’t dare break the quiet that fell. The situation was so specific that no one had the guts to say something and possibly say the wrong thing. What do you say to a blind girl about her parents’ overprotectiveness? Yeah, I know how you feel?  

It only lasted for about fifteen seconds before a “Toph,” broke their tense silence. “I think you were very brave for saying anything at all. It’s important to remember that you’re a talented person and you’re the only person you need to prove yourself to. But like Dr. Minami said, it might be important to try to show your parents how capable you are in ways that they can’t ignore. You’re very driven and you seem to accomplish everything you set your mind to, just remember that.” 

Toph gave a small smile, turning her head towards the girl sitting directly next to her, muttering, “Thanks, Katara.” 

The session ended without anything else of interest. Two hours of not saying a word and just listening to other people and their problems had taken a bit of a toll on Zuko. He was tired before coming there, but all he wanted was to just crawl into bed and not have anyone bother him. He realized that would not happen as a hand touched his shoulder and a voice said his name. 

“Zuko,” it was Dr. Minami. “I noticed that you didn’t say anything this session. Are you doing okay? How was your week?” 

At least she cares, he thought before answering, “I’m fine, just tired.” 

“Are you still having those dreams?” Something about his facial expression answered for him as she simply nodded and handed him another pamphlet on options to afford one-on-one therapy. She said something about how she was accepting new patients and hoped to see him. He said something pleasant in response, just wanting to get home already. His head down, he opened the door to start heading down the sidewalk on Fountain Street. Internally, he was going back over all the steps he had to take to get home—left on Fountain, left Addition Avenue, left on Fuldin, right on Sally Hemings Avenue, if he could cross the street. That is, until he entirely walked into something—or someone—nearly falling on his ass. 

“Sorry about that! I forgot that the door was there,” exclaimed the tattooed kid jumping out of the way. What was his name again? Aang?

Not looking up, Zuko gave a quick, “It’s fine,” and started heading towards home. 

“Wait! Hey!” He couldn’t help but roll his eyes a bit before looking back. “Are you heading down towards Fuldin Street?” That was a weirdly specific guess. 

“Yeah, what does it matter?” 

“I’m heading that way too! Can I walk with you?” 

Zuko looked over the boy standing behind him, his bright sweatshirt and arrow decorating his head. He didn’t look like your average troubled kid that showed up to those sessions. He looked like he came from a home where his parents cared about him. Based off of his shoes, maybe they didn’t have a lot of money. Maybe anxiety over finances was why he was there. But there was also that arrow. Maybe he had more issues than he was letting on. Zuko gave him a nod and Aang gave some exclamation of happiness. 

“I’m Aang, by the way. I don’t think I caught your name!” 

“It’s Zuko,” he said curtly, trying to not let himself get annoyed and regretting his decision already. 

“That’s a cool name! It’s pretty unique. I’ve traveled around the country and I’ve heard a lot of different names, but you’re the first Zuko I’ve met!” He wasn’t sure if that was intended to be a compliment or not but gave him a quiet thanks and did nothing more to encourage conversation. 

“So… where do you go to school?” Aang asked curiously, oblivious to Zuko’s body language and social cues. He also might not have cared. 

“The city public school.” 

“Really? Me too! Why didn’t we meet sooner? What grade are you in?”

“I’m a senior.” 

“Wow! I’m only a freshman. Are you excited to graduate? I can’t wait to graduate so Gyatso and I can start traveling again!” 

“You can say that,” Zuko stated. Part of him wanted to leave it there, but he was intrigued by the mystery of Gyatso. Plus it wasn’t like this kid was going to walk away eventually. “Who’s Gyatso?” 

“Oh, he’s my legal guardian; we’re not related. He doesn’t want me to call him my dad, but he sort of is.” Not knowing what to say to that, Zuko decided to say nothing. Silence fell between them for a moment as they walked down the sidewalk in the autumn cold. 

“Can I ask about your tattoo?” Zuko finally asked. He could see the street sign for Fuldin coming up ahead and figured the conversation wouldn’t take long. Plus he was just genuinely curious as to why someone would ever get such a prominent tattoo.

“Of course! What do you want to know about it?” 

“Why that design?” The question came out a bit harsher than he had intended, but it got his point across. Surprisingly, it led to quiet. 

“Well… you see…” Aang paused again as if rethinking what he wanted to say. His nose scrunched as his mouth pulled to one side. Finally, he stated, “I’ve learned a bit about my ancestry recently and wanted to feel connected to them, so I got these.” He pointed to the arrow hidden beneath the hood and then rolled up his sleeves, revealing two more arrows running across his arms to his hands.

Zuko guessed that was fair enough. Ancestral culture could be important to some people. Personally, he wanted to distance himself from his own as much as possible. 

“Well, we’re here. I’ll see you next week,” Zuko said with finality. 

“Okay! See you then!” Aang said with a wave before starting down the street in, thankfully, the opposite direction of Zuko. 

The kid himself wasn’t annoying, per se. It was just his optimistic and bubbly attitude that seemed to grate Zuko’s nerves a bit. After everything, he found it hard to be so upbeat all the time the way Aang seemed to. The world couldn’t be all sunshine and rainbows all the time and it wasn’t. He just couldn’t grasp how some people pretended it was. 

Silently, he trudged up the hill towards the apartment buildings. His uncle would be happy to see him and Zuko silently readied himself for the barrage of questions. He was glad Uncle cared about him and how these sessions were going, he just didn’t want him to worry about him. He’d be fine. He had been fine for the past five years; it was just his stupid brain that couldn’t let go of his memories from that night. He didn’t need or want to relive the flames eating his face, the pain, and fear of it all. It was over and his life was vastly different—and arguably better—now than it was then. Why couldn’t his brain just let it go?

The door creaked as Dr. Minami made her way in. 

“Sorry, I’m late. I couldn’t find parking at the art institute like I normally can. Must be there’s an event tonight.” The teens sat in the circle, unanimously silent and a few acknowledging her excuse for tardiness with a polite smile. As she settled herself into her chair, Dr. Minami looked up and smiled warmly at one of the group members. 

“Katara,” she said with as much warmth in her voice as in her smile. “Your hair looks lovely today.” 

“Thank you,” Katara said softly, her hair draping down past her shoulders. Zuko had to admit that she was pretty with her hair down. He thought her dark hair closer to her face really made her blue eyes pop. Her dark blue shirt also complimented them nicely. Maybe I should wear yellow more often? It’d probably accent my eyes. He brushed some hair out of his face. That was not something he had to decide on now. He could also ask Uncle for his thoughts on it later. Besides that, it’s not like he could ever be interested in her. She was pretty, but he had a girlfriend, Mai—not that he was really all that attracted to her either. Sure, he felt like he could trust Mai, which is how they ended up dating in the first place. He just didn’t feel any romantic attraction to her.

“So does anyone have anything positive to share today?” 

“Oo! Oo!” Aang exclaimed while raising his hand and almost jumping out of his chair. 

“Yes, Aang,” Dr. Minami said with a smile. 

“I’m finally making a lot of friends at my new school!” he stated with a smile, looking over at the three people sitting to his left and then suddenly up at Zuko. Zuko was sitting across the circle from the group—Aang, Toph, Katara, and some boy he didn’t know in between them. He could feel his face getting hot and dropped eye contact quickly, noticing the doctor’s small smile out of the corner of his eye. Talking once is not the same as us being friends, Aang.  

Outside of the momentary embarrassment, the session was uneventful: no new tattoos, no awkward silences, just a bunch of kids with issues trying to get better. Before he could leave, Dr. Minami asked him to stay for a while so they could check in on him. So he hung out, waiting near the corner of the room until the doctor had time to get to him. She asked about his recurring nightmare again. Not much had changed on that front. She again encouraged him to look into the programs for one-on-one counseling, something he couldn’t ask his uncle to finance for him. Uncle had a tea shop to run and worry about and Zuko could handle himself. He confirmed he’d still be coming the next week and would think about her offer for personal therapy. He walked up the stairs and out the door, looking up at the rainbow flag flying proudly above the door frame and shoving another pamphlet into his pocket. 

“Hey, Zuko!” He jumped, not expecting to see Aang sitting at the bottom of the steps. 

“Hi, Aang.” He didn’t wait for him to stand up before he started walking down the street, trying to make it obvious that he did not want to talk with him the whole way back again. 

“Wait up!” Zuko did not, but he did slow his pace a bit. “I was hoping we could talk again!” 

“Why?”

“Well, I’m hoping we can be friends!” Zuko said nothing. He honestly didn’t want to hurt the kid’s feelings, but he didn’t want friends. He’d made it through high school not needing anyone. He’d be off on his own as soon as he’d graduated. Sure, he did have a girlfriend, but she went to a private girls’ school in the eastern part of the city—the richer part. Zuko certainly didn’t need some freshman kid to barge into his life and mess that all up. 

“Do you think we could be friends, Zuko?” The question restrained some hurt inflicted by Zuko’s silence. He stopped and looked down at the boy next to him. 

“I’m not so sure you want to be friends with me.” With that, he started again down the street. Quick footsteps followed him, catching up to him and slowing to his pace. 

“But I do want to be friends with you!” 

“Why? You don’t really know me.” It wasn’t the response the kid had been expecting, given his facial expression. The two stopped and stared at each other momentarily. 

“Isn’t that how most friendships work?” There was no good answer to that question, seeing as he was right. Zuko was starting to get the feeling that this kid wouldn’t give up. 

“Aang,” he started slowly, “how old are you?” 

“Thirteen, almost fourteen. Why?”

“Wouldn’t it be a little weird for a thirteen-year-old to be friends with an eighteen-year-old?” He was hoping that a bit of perspective might deter him a bit. 

“No,” he answered promptly. “Gyatso may be my guardian, but he’s one of my friends and he’s in his sixties!” He smiled at Zuko before continuing, “Plus, Katara and Sokka are sixteen and seventeen and they’re still my friends!” 

He’s really not going to give up. With a sigh, Zuko acquiesced and said, “I guess we can be friends.” It was a statement made under the assumption that their school was big enough that Aang would never find him in the hallways or at lunch. There were two floors, two and a half thousand students, and three different lunch periods. He had never seen Aang during the day and felt confident that he never would. 

“Great!” Aang explained with a fist in the air and a jump. “I’m so excited to hang out with you now at lunch!” 

“How do you know we have lunch together?”

“I dunno,” he said with a shrug, “I just sort of guessed you also have the second lunch period like most of the seniors.” 

Shit. We do have the same lunch period , Zuko thought while giving Aang a hum in response. 

“I’m sure that Katara and Sokka will be okay with you sitting with us since they know you already.” He chose not to respond to that one and let the city quiet settle in. In the distance, people were talking, yelling, living with no awareness of the existence of either of them. The bustling of cars was getting more prominent as they got closer and closer to Fuldin Street. Lights from buildings, street lamps, and various other sources shone down on them and Zuko began to feel small, like a turtle-duckling swimming alone in an ocean. 

“Hey, Zuko?” The question jolted him back to the present. 

“What?” 

“How did you get your scar?” What kind of question is that? Is it appropriate in any context? Who just randomly asks people about their scars? Zuko didn’t really get a chance to find answers to those questions himself. A weight settled into his lungs, breath couldn’t fill them. A frenzied bird was where his heart should be, pounding on his ribs. Why couldn’t he be normal? Why couldn’t he just answer questions? 

“I don’t want to talk about it,” he managed, hoping Aang couldn’t hear how strained his voice was. 

“Oh… okay,” Aang muttered. “Sorry I asked. I guess that’s sort of a sensitive topic for you, huh?” 

“You think!” It was curt and high, his throat felt like it was closing and his hands numb. The subject had dropped; he still couldn’t make his body just be normal. Aang mumbled some sort of apology. Zuko couldn’t really hear or understand him. Alarm was settling into his brain. Fuldin was within mere steps. He was ready to leave. He needed to leave. When he was alone, he could calm down. It wasn’t the best way to handle his panic attacks, but it worked. Uncle couldn’t see him like this. He had told him— had been telling him—that the group sessions were helping. That he was doing better. This was the opposite of better. Reaching the street corner, Zuko turned sharply to head home. The hand grabbing his arm wouldn’t let him. 

“Don’t touch me!” It came out higher than normal as he whipped around to face Aang, nearly falling. He was met with an apologetic face and a little package of wasabi mustard. Before Zuko could ask his question, Aang answered it.

“Eat it. It helps with panic attacks because it forces you to salivate.” Zuko stared at him in confusion. “You can’t salivate in fight or flight, so it makes your body choose…” Aang dropped his eye contact again, visibly beginning to feel awkward as Zuko just stared at him blankly. “Look, I may be young but I’m not naive. I have anxiety and I’ve had panic attacks; trust me, this will help.”

Hands shaking, Zuko took the neon green packet. He tried to say thanks, the words catching in his throat. Speaking was the least of his worries, at the moment. He needed this to stop. Air wasn’t filling his lungs and his hands were numb. Did he really think it would work? No. Aang seemed genuine, though. Trusting people just wasn’t one of his strong suits. But he was desperate. He just wanted to feel normal . Fingers trembling, he tore open the package and pushed the contents into his mouth. Part of it reminded him of those ice pops that his mom used to let him and Azula have sometimes as a secret treat. Except this time, it was not refreshing. In fact, he felt his nose burn and he started coughing. At the very least, there was air filling his lungs. 

“Thanks,” he managed eventually between coughs. Aang smiled widely at him. 

“Yeah, of course! I’m sorry that I sort of caused it, though.” His grin turned sheepish and he rubbed the back of his neck. It was genuine remorse, something Zuko didn’t see often the first thirteen years of his life. 

“It’s fine,” Zuko said, feeling his heart rate beginning to slow. The two stood there, not really looking at each other. Cars passed. The wind disheveled Zuko’s hair. The moon began to take its place in the sky. Somewhere beyond the light pollution, the stars were shining. “I should get home,” Zuko eventually said. 

“Me too,” Aang began quietly. Suddenly, he raised his volume and resumed his positive demeanor, “I’ll see you tomorrow hopefully!” 

“See ya,” Zuko muttered, turning to finally start home. 

“How was tonight’s group?” Uncle asked as soon as Zuko stepped through the door. 

“Fine,” he replied, hanging his jacket on the hooks near the door. 

“Would you like some tea?” 

“No, thank you,” he said briefly. He knew his uncle was genuinely curious as to how he was doing, he just didn’t want any more human contact for the day. All he wanted was to change his clothes, crawl under his covers, and hopefully sleep through the night for once. 

“Zuko,” Uncle called after him, not letting him get all the way to his bedroom. He turned to face him. “I just want to make sure this is helping you, otherwise we can figure out something else.” 

“It’s fine, Uncle. It’s helping, I’ll be okay.” His uncle’s hard gaze was unconvinced by his statement. He could tell something was wrong. Zuko knew he needed to say more to stop his uncle from worrying. “I’m… I’ve made a friend there.” 

“Really?” Part of Zuko was a little hurt by the surprise in Uncle’s voice. In all fairness, he had spent so many years without friends that it was even a little shocking to him.

“Yeah. His name is Aang. He walks part of the way back with me sometimes after sessions.” 

“Oh?” An amused eyebrow was raised as Uncle brought his cup to his lips . “Is Aang really just a friend , Zuko?” A hearty chuckle followed. 

“Yes, Uncle!” His face felt hot and he wished he had just ignored his uncle and gone to bed. Feeling defensive, he stammered out, “I-I have a girlfriend, you know! Mai and I haven’t broken up yet!” 

Uncle sat his cup down as the smile slipped from his face. “When are you going to tell her, Zuko? When are you—” 

“I don’t know,” he said, dropping his eyes to the floor. His scar seemed to burn and he could feel unexpected tears slip from his eyes. “I’m going to bed.” He turned on his heel, walking the ten steps it took to his door. Closing it quickly behind him, he stripped off his clothes and went the fuck to bed. 

“Hey, Zuko!” A wave of remorse and disbelief washed over him. Dammit. I really thought he wouldn’t find me. He had been sitting alone at a table in the center of the cafeteria. It was easier to hide in the crowd of people than it was to sit off in the corner. He blended in and he had successfully hidden from Aang for almost a full week… until today. Looking up he met his gray eyes, but quickly realized there were two other people with him. That blue-eyed girl—what was her name? Katara?—was standing to his right, along with a boy he didn’t know but recognized. With a smile, Aang continued, “Can we sit with you?” 

To be honest, he wasn’t popular at school. Even back when he used to go to that private all-boys school, he hadn’t been popular either. But at least there he had friends. Here he had made a reputation of being cold and unapproachable. No one bothered him. No one asked about his scar or why he had suddenly transferred here a few weeks before the end of seventh grade. He’d spent five years never talking to anyone at school. He neither wanted nor needed people in his life. His plans were to leave the state—maybe even the country—once he graduated and start his life over. For that, he wanted to carry no connections with him, and having friends didn’t fit into that equation. That even included Mai. 

“I’m not sure you want to sit with me,” Zuko replied. 

“Of course, we do!” Aang sat his lunch box down on the table. 

“Let me try again,” Zuko said coldly. “I’m not sure you want to be associated with me .” Out of the corner of his eye, he could see people beginning to look over. It may have been a big school, but he’d made a name for himself as being antisocial. No one had really spoken to him in two years. Sure, he was still social during group projects and pulled his weight, but no one tried to talk to him outside of what was necessary. 

“Well, I’m sitting,” the boy he didn’t know said, putting his meal and himself down. “I’m starving and I need food.” Zuko stared at him, partially flabbergasted he’d want to sit near him at all and partially horrified that he ate the school food. The girl— Katara —looked over at Aang and the two seemed to come to a silent decision to sit as well. Zuko mumbled a “fuck” under his breath, realizing he had to make a choice: he either collected his stuff and moved, or he stayed and let them sit with him. 

He landed on the latter, remaining at his table and staring down at his food, beginning to hear the whispers around them. Another reason why he didn’t want friends: all the drama and gossip that would come with it. He wasn’t interested in it. Maybe he should have just gotten up and found a new place to sit. But he could hear his uncle’s advice already in his head. “This boy has shown you kindness. It is only right to return it.” Why did he have to be such a good influence? 

“Aang,” Katara began, “Why are there so many people staring at us?” 

“Because they’re nosy bastards who can’t believe anyone would want to be around me,” Zuko answered, looking her in the eyes. She stared back at him, mouth slightly agape. Whether it was from his coarse language or the fact that people were behaving that way, he wasn’t sure.

“Well, who cares,” Aang said positively with a smile. Still putting up a front, Zuko rolled his eyes, putting more rice into his mouth. Even though he was eighteen, Uncle was still insistent on making him lunch every morning, claiming that he was already making lunch for himself so he might as well make Zuko some. He still wasn’t sure if he’d ask Uncle to come with him when he left. The Jasmine Dragon was a popular shop in town. Uncle had worked so hard on getting it to where it was now that he wasn’t sure he could ask him to abandon it. 

The rest of lunch continued, Katara trying to be polite, kept asking questions. What grade are you in? Where in the city do you live? Do you drive to school or take the bus? She was nice. He tried to be polite back, returning questions and asking a few of his own. She was a sophomore, taking Advanced Placement classes, excited to have her license, and was saving for a car of her own. Sokka was her brother, relieving Zuko of the awkwardness of having to ask for his name. The longer they sat and talked, the more the whispers dissipated. People seemed to just accept that Zuko could indeed have friends. 

“Are you coming to tonight’s group session, Zuko?” Aang asked a little too loudly, trying to insert himself into the conversation. Without thinking, Zuko shushed him. “What’s the problem?” Aang asked innocently and thankfully quieter. Zuko stared at him for a minute, before articulating a response. 

“I just don’t want people in my business.” 

“Fair enough,” Sokka said with a shrug. With that, the bell rang, indicating that classes would begin and the third lunch group would begin to shuffle in.

“Good evening, everyone. It looks like everyone is here and as you may have noticed, we have lost several faces, but gained several new ones.” Dr. Minami looked around the group with a half-hearted smile. Some of the new kids sat looking anxious, others gave her half-smiles back. “I thought it’d be fun to do an ice breaker before we got started today. So why don’t we all say our names and why we’re here tonight. I’m Dr. Rina Minami, but you can call me ‘Doctor’ if you prefer.” Another smile. “I’m a practicing counseling psychologist and I work for a local practice, but I volunteer my time and skills here for this program.” She turned towards the girl on her right with a nod, indicating she should go next. 

“I’m Emi. I have depression and was in therapy but my parent’s insurance won’t cover any more visits with my usual therapist this year, so I’m here until it resets for next year.” The rest of the stories were similar. They had a mental illness or some sort of issue, needed help, and this was a free alternative to a therapist. Finally, it was Zuko’s turn. He sighed, having given this introduction thrice in the six months he’d been there. 

“I’m Zuko. I have an anxiety disorder and I’m trying to learn to manage it better.” It was quick, easy, monotone. It explained enough that no one tried to ask for anything more, but didn’t let anyone actually know anything. Personally, he felt like it was no one’s business why he was here. But Dr. Minami said the introductions were so they could give better advice. As if he actually would remember all thirty introductions given within three minutes. He’d shown up later than he had wanted to, meaning the only seat left was next to Aang, who had saved one for him. He guessed it was bound to happen now that their friendship was actually starting to establish itself.

“Hi, I’m Aang!” It was said with a grin. “I have a generalized anxiety disorder, but I just moved here a few months ago and thought this would be a good way to make friends.” He looked from Zuko over to the three people to his right. As he didn’t remember hearing that dumb answer before, so Zuko guessed that Aang had joined during the last registration cycle. Since the sessions were free, they all were required to register every two months. All they had to do was fill out a paper and prove they were enrolled in high school. It was a popular program and Zuko had waited four months to get in. 

“I’m Toph. I have a lot of issues with my parents that I want to get over.” Her arms were crossed and she jerked her head, flipping some of her black hair out of her face. Part of Zuko couldn’t wrap his head around why her parents let her out of the house in grass and dirt-stained sweatpants and a wrinkled shirt. Maybe they just didn’t want to fight her on it or they didn’t actually care. He was working on remembering that not all households were like his growing up. Not all kids were told that they had to be perfect all the time and weren’t punished for every slip-up. But they sounded pretty domineering from what he could remember. A voice broke his train of thought.

“I’m Katara. I’m here with my brother because a friend of ours died about six months ago.” 

“She wasn’t just my friend ,” the boy next to her— Shit, what’s his name again? Sokka? —said defensively. “We were… a thing.” Realizing that all eyes were on him, he sat up and added, “I’m Sokka, by the way.” 

Given that Aang was so persistent in being his friend and he had now actually spent time with three of these people, Zuko decided to actually listen to their introductions. Everyone else he couldn’t bring himself to listen to. Not that he didn’t care about their issues, it’s just… well... maybe he really didn’t care. He knew he wouldn’t be able to remember their names, anyway.

“Well, now that we’ve all introduced ourselves, let’s begin our session. Tonight we’ll be learning, or for some of us reviewing, what is and isn’t a healthy coping mechanism.” Zuko sighed quietly, crossing his arms and slumping a bit in his seat. 

“Are you bored?” Aang whispered to him. 

“No,” he whispered back, straightening up. “I’ve just heard this four times now.” 

“Oh…” Aang readjusted in his seat, turning his attention back to the psychologist. Zuko thought that would be it, letting himself zone out, staring in the doctor’s general direction. He hadn’t seen Uncle before coming here this afternoon. The shop closed about half an hour before the session started, but there was always cleaning to do and stock to take. He didn’t blame Uncle for not being home during the day; running a business could be demanding and it had been his dream for decades. But part of Zuko did miss him. That’s why he worked at the tea shop over the weekends. It was an easy way to make money and to spend time with Uncle. Not being sure of how hard of a day Uncle had had, Zuko decided to think through what he’d tell him about his day, careful to not include any worrying details. Uncle always tried to act like the events of the day didn’t bother him, but Zuko could see the toll in his eyes.

There was an elbow in his rib. He sat back up, eyes wide. Dr. Minami was still talking, having pulled up a diagram to exemplify her point. She hadn’t asked him a question. He turned towards Aang who was indeed looking at him expectantly. 

“Sorry, you seemed pretty zoned out,” he muttered. “I just wanted to ask you if you would want to hang out with us after the session next week.” 

His brain a little dazed, he stupidly asked, “Us?”

“Yeah! Katara, Sokka, Toph, and me! We’re thinking about going to get food somewhere and walk around for a while.” As much as he said he didn’t want or need friends, the invitation excited him. He hadn’t actually hung out with someone his age in a while—well, excluding Mai, of course. Zuko readjusted himself in his seat and thought for a moment. The trio was probably going to continue sitting with him at lunch, so by next week, it wouldn’t be super awkward, right? If he brought it up with Uncle, he knew he’d be encouraged to go. Plus, he knew it’d make Uncle happy to see him hanging out with friends.

“Yeah, I’ll come.” Aang’s face lit up and he looked as if he was about to jump out of his seat. 

“Guys,” Dr. Minami said sternly. “I know some of you have heard this all before, but it’s disrespectful to your fellow peers who are trying to learn and better themselves. Please, try to listen quietly.” The two of them froze, straightening in their seats. Out of the corner of his eye, Zuko could see Aang giving her a sheepish smile. Glancing over, they made eye contact, Aang’s smile changing to genuine. Zuko gave him a small smile in return.

It was late, more than half an hour after the session had ended. Part of Zuko felt like he was going to miss Aang this week, though he was looking forward to walking home in silence. The autumn cold was quickly transitioning into the winter cold. He assumed Aang wouldn’t wait for him, given how cold and late it was. At the top of the stairs, he pulled his hoodie over his head, bracing himself. Over the years, he’d found that he tolerated heat a lot better than cold. His fingers always froze so easily in conditions that could barely be considered even chilly. Azula had always made fun of him for it growing up, although she had the exact same problem. She just never complained about it, always making herself out to be tougher than him. It had been years since he had lived with her or even seen her. Sighing, he pushed open the door and turned his eyes towards the sky, futilely hoping for stars. 

Before he fully processed it, he was falling, tripping over something on the steps. Catching himself on the railing, he stared wide-eyed at whatever was on the steps. “Aang?” 

“Hi, Zuko!” He said perkily, oblivious to the fact that he nearly killed Zuko. He really just waited for me in almost freezing weather for half an hour. Regaining his balance, Zuko stood, not exactly sure what to say. Despite this, he felt himself say something. 

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I wait for you?” Aang responded, getting up himself. “I assumed that we were still going to walk back together today.” There was no good answer to his question. So instead he gave a stupid, “Oh,” and began to walk down the steps. After he got to the bottom, he turned back up towards the younger teen still standing in place. 

“Thanks,” he said with a small smile. A wide grinned spread across Aang’s face. Leaping, Aang jumped five steps and landed gracefully next to Zuko. He sure was easily excitable. 

“I’m so excited for next week,” Aang exclaimed. “I think it’s going to be a lot of fun!” 

“Yeah?” Zuko asked, mildly amused. 

“Yeah! We were talking about going to that one cafe down on Ottawa Avenue.” It was a long avenue, with several cafes on or near it. One of which happened to be Uncle’s. 

“Which one?” 

“You know! The one with the really good tea.” That was a common compliment his uncle received. 

“The Jasmine Dragon?” he guessed.

“Yeah! That’s the one!” He seemed to be overflowing with excitement. Part of Zuko wondered if Aang had had any real friends growing up either. He’d mentioned he’d traveled a lot growing up. Who knows how long he had stayed in any given place. A few years? A few months? Maybe even a few weeks. Obviously, he’d interacted with other kids; Aang didn’t seem socially inept. He might just not have ever had a chance at a group of permanent friends like this.

“You do know that it closes at six-thirty, right?” Zuko said with a slight smile. 

“Really?” He asked. “Dang it, that puts a wrench in our plans.” Aang ran a hand over his bald head. Zuko watched him out of the corner of his eye. 

“Can I ask you something?” 

“Yeah,” Aang said, slightly less perky. 

“Are you planning on letting your hair grow back or are you staying bald?” 

“I’m planning on staying bald. It’s less work, ya know?” Zuko nodded. It wasn’t something he would probably ever say aloud, but there was a point in his life where he had been bald too. At the age of thirteen and still coping with the scar covering a third of his face, he’d cut his hair off in the middle of the night. It was patchy and, honestly, gross-looking—not what he was going for. He’d held his tears back throughout all of it until he saw himself in the mirror once he was done. Panicked and crying, he woke up Uncle, who helped him shave his head completely bald in the dead of night. It grew back, thankfully. He ran his hand over his hand every day, slowly feeling skin become stubble become hair. 

“Yeah, I guess I know what you mean,” he said . The two continued down the street. Staring up at the buildings looming over them, Zuko decided to add something to their previous conversation. “I’ve heard there’s a cookie place near the Jasmine Dragon that’s pretty good.” 

“Really?” Aang seemed to literally float off the ground a bit with this information. “We’ll have to try it out!” Zuko gave him a partial smile. The two of them walked a bit further in silence. The city was logically louder during the day but somehow felt louder at night. As if every sound shattered the anticipated quiet with greater severity than normal. That was Zuko’s excuse for why he jumped when Aang randomly asked, “Do you have any siblings?” 

Recovering physically, but ego a bit bruised, he answered, “Yeah. I have a younger sister. She doesn’t live with my uncle and me.” 

“Oh… why’s that?” Zuko really needed to learn to not be offended by innocent questions. Why would Aang know anything about his life before the age of thirteen? He hadn’t told him. 

Sighing, he replied, “She decided to continue living with our father on the other side of the state after… some things happened that I don’t want to get into.” He ducked his head down towards his feet. Despite this, he could still sense that Aang had some questions that he wasn’t willing to vocalize. That was fine with him. Instead, he decided to return the question. 

“Maybe,” Aang said with a shrug. “I don’t remember much about my biological family. Gyatso told me they were good people, just in a bad situation and made some bad choices.” Zuko looked over at him, hoping he’d elaborate further. He didn’t. Instead, he jumped up onto the concrete half-wall that cut into one of the many hills of the city, balancing himself as he walked along it. Fuldin was beginning to come into view. Their time together would soon be over. 

“Can I ask why you’re kind of young for your grade? I mean normally freshmen are fourteen or fifteen.” 

“I skipped a grade when I was younger,” Aang said simply. Zuko nodded. Azula had skipped a grade too. Being only about a year younger than him, it meant she now had to share all milestones with Zuko—or rather he had to share them with her. She started private school at the same time he got to. She would be graduating at the same time he would be. Hell, she even met Mai before he did. Part of him was glad that he at least didn’t share Uncle with her. As childish as it sounded, it had been beneficial for him. There was no competition and he was able to just progress through life without having to constantly think of how to one-up her. 

And soon, they were at the intersection. Aang gave his cheerful goodbye, and Zuko told him he’d see him at lunch Monday. It made Aang smile and momentarily balance himself on his toes. They parted ways and Zuko made his way home. 

Zuko was thirteen again. “Dad, I think I might be gay.” His words. He knew they had come from him, but he never remembered them leaving his mouth. Father had raised them both to know that secrets were disrespectful. Secrets meant that they were doing something they knew was wrong. They needed to face their punishment head-on. That’s why Zuko said it. He could still remember the fear that came before and after those words. 

“Then,” Father said slowly, precisely. “I think you might not be my son.” He remembered the pure contempt in his amber irises. That was the moment he knew that the night wouldn’t end well. Getting up from the table, he ran to his room. At some point, he called Uncle. He needed to stay with him for a few days and hurry. He popped the screen out of his window. His clothes were packed by fistfuls into a suitcase. Shoving the bag out the window onto the ground two stories below, he panicked. He wouldn’t make that fall. Time wasn’t moving fast enough. Or maybe just he wasn’t. Uncle was still how many minutes away and he needed to leave now.

“Dad’s going to kill you.” It was Azula, casually leaning on the frame of the door. She wouldn’t let him leave. The rule was to always face punishments. Azula always lied but he knew she was right. He’d have to jump. Father was going to kill him. He knew it before he had said what did. Going feet first, he tried to launch himself through the window. A hand was on his shirt. Grabbing him. Pulling him. He was back on his bedroom floor, out of breath. Liquid hit his face. It pooled around him. He instinctively closed his eyes and held his breath. He didn’t ever smell what it really was. Not until he saw the flame drop beside him. A match, a lighter. It didn’t matter. He didn’t remember. The gasoline ignited, just as Zuko pushed himself off the ground. 

Someone screamed. It was him, but he didn’t remember it coming from him. He only remembered the heat, the intense pain. It lasted only a few seconds before he felt something over him. Suffocating him as he screamed.

Zuko woke up in a cold sweat. His scar running over his eye and down part of his neck and shoulder burned. The door opened and it was Uncle asking if he was alright. He insisted, yes, he was. It was just a bad dream… It was the dream again. Uncle nodded, sitting on his bedside and putting an arm around him. Thankfully, Uncle had been close that night. Zuko was smothered in that blanket for ages as Uncle dragged him out to the car and drove him to the Emergency Room. Once there, Zuko lied about what had happened. He said he was being dumb with gasoline and accidentally lit himself on fire. Uncle was angry at him for protecting his father, but to his knowledge never said anything. Father was chief of police and in Zuko’s eyes, he had been untouchable. And punishment was always deserved. So he lied. 

“Do you need water?” Uncle asked, still sitting on the side of his bed. Zuko thought for a moment before responding. 

“I need tea actually.” He received a nod and a half-smile in response. Zuko wrapped himself in a blanket and followed his uncle into the kitchen.

Chapter Text

It was Saturday. The usual evening rush had yet to come through, as people got out of work or finished their daily activities. It was quiet. A few customers sat at tables, talking amongst themselves or working on their laptops. Uncle sang to himself in the back, preparing tea for the rush that was soon to come. Zuko wiped down tables and counters, trying to look busy. The bell for the door rang with hurried footsteps following. He looked up to see cloudy green eyes and black hair. Strangely, she was able to stop within two feet of him. 

“Where’s Iroh?” Toph asked, putting a finger in his face. Zuko blinked. How can she stand to be outside in these temperatures without shoes on? He thought, looking her over. Her baggy jeans and green t-shirt were stained with grass and dirt. Mud was smeared across her cheek. 

“What do you want with my uncle?” He asked simply. A few of the other customers looked up at them. 

“Zuko?” She exclaimed. “ You’re Iroh’s nephew?” There was surprise in her voice. He wasn’t sure how to respond to her question. It was what he said. Thankfully, Uncle emerged from the back, probably hearing the commotion. 

“What seems to be the issue?” Toph turned her head towards him. 

“There you are!” She said happily. “My parents are being assholes again. They want to ship me off to some school for the blind and I told them that I will not be doing that. We got into an argument and I didn’t want to be home anymore so I came here. Do you think I can stay for a bit?” 

“Of course,” Iroh stated, lifting the bar so that she could come behind the counter. She led herself back, sitting on one of the stools in the kitchen. Zuko made eye contact with his uncle, silently asking for an explanation. 

“She used to always come in here during weekdays when it was slow. Had quite a few conversations with her over tea. I told her this door is always open for her if she needs it.” Zuko nodded as his uncle continued, “How does she know you?” 

“She’s, uh, one of… Aang’s friends,” he managed, rubbing the back of his neck. 

“It’s okay, Zuko! My parents fucked me up too!” Toph shouted from the back. “We know each other from therapy.” Zuko could feel his face getting hot, while Uncle just laughed. He said something about her being good company before heading back to the kitchen. For a moment, he wondered if he should continue wiping things down that were already clean or if he should go talk to Toph. 

“How come I’m just now finding out that you come here to hang out with my uncle?” Zuko asked, walking into the kitchen. 

“I don’t know. What day is it today?” 

“Saturday,” Uncle added, mostly staying out of it. Mostly. 

“That explains it. My parents usually leave Friday night to take weekend trips. Probably why it was harder to get out of the house today.”  

“Your parents just leave you every weekend?” Zuko asked, a little shocked. Growing up, his father had left them quite often, but their mom was always home with them. He couldn’t imagine both parents just leaving their kids; although, his mom did disappear in the middle of the night when he was eleven and after that, they were home alone often. 

“Sort of. They leave me with the house staff, but I am essentially by myself.” She shrugged, swinging her feet between the legs of the stool. Uncle had begun to hum to himself again, taking temperatures of different pots of water. 

“That’s rough.” That was the best he could think to say to her about that. 

“Iroh,” Toph said after a minute. “Are you making any cookies today? I’m starving.” 

It was Friday again. Sokka and he realized somewhere in the week that they had health class together. In all fairness, it was a thirty-five person class and they really hadn’t known each other a week ago. He decided to leave his table alone at the back of the class to sit next to Sokka at the front. People were again shocked that Zuko could have a friend, but he honestly couldn’t care. They spent most of the class discreetly playing tic-tac-toe, not paying attention to the actual teacher, anyway. 

The wind blew his hair in front of his eyes as he approached the church. The rainbow flag was still hung above the door of the church, colors looking brighter in the setting sun. Part of him was excited for tonight. He’d told Uncle about it, who insisted that he bring an emergency supplies bag, just in case. Of course, he did just that, partially anxious that his phone might die or someone would get hurt. He also worried that it was weird. Pushing open the church doors, he walked down the stairs, into a gathering room in the basement. He was early, but Sokka and Katara were already there. 

“Hey, Zuko!” Sokka said with a wave. Dr. Minami caught his eye and gave him a smile. He gave her a small smile back and went and sat next to Sokka. “You won’t believe it, the coolest thing happened after school today!” 

Zuko raised his eyebrow at him, taking off his bag and setting it under his chair. “What happened?” 

“Well, when Katara and I got home we heard this noise under the porch, right?” Zuko nodded. “And so I looked under there and we found a litter of polar bear puppies! We couldn’t find the mom, but our dad is looking out for her. The plan is to take them in before it gets too cold tonight.” Katara was texting someone on her phone but kept glancing at them with a smile on her face. 

“I don’t think the apartment my uncle and I live in allows for pets, otherwise I’d offer to take one,” Zuko replied. It was a bit of a lie, but he knew Sokka was excited about it and he was trying to be polite. Sokka muttered some explicative and wondered aloud if Aang would take one. 

“Have you done the homework for health yet?” Zuko asked, trying to maintain a conversation for once in his life. 

Sokka blew air between his teeth, “Pfft, no. That’s a problem for Monday morning.” Katara hit his shoulder, saying that he needs to actually do his homework. Zuko chuckled a little. Part of him missed when he and Azula were little and used to actually get along. But he also knew that he probably wouldn’t like the person that she had grown into. She’d had five more years with their father than he had. Who knows what she was like now. There was an elbow in his ribs. 

“Zuko, are you listening?” 

“What?” he asked dumbly.

“I asked if you have to stay late after the session today or not.” 

“Oh… no, I don’t.” 

“Good! So the plan is for us all to just leave from here. I have a car, so I can drive. Also, we need your phone number. This would have been a lot easier to plan if we could’ve texted you.” 

“You could have asked for my number at any point this week.” He’d admit that he was feeling defensive. But, nonetheless, he got his phone out and opened a blank contact. Handing it over to Sokka, he told him to just add himself and he’d text him. Getting his phone back, he briefly glanced at the contact name. Scrunching up his nose, he asked, “Why’d you make your name ‘Boomerang Guy?’”

“Thought it’d be funny,” he said. His sister gave him a weird look. At that moment, Aang entered. He was quick to take a seat next to Katara. 

“Are you guys ready for tonight?” He asked excitedly. There was a general consensus of “yes,” which made Aang nearly bounce from his seat. Zuko was beginning to wonder if he drank any caffeine. If he did, he really needed to cut back on it. Not long after, Toph arrived, more dirt on her knees and across her face. Aang called out for her to come sit next to him and she found her way. 

“Toph,” Zuko said. “You have dirt on your face.” 

“Shit, where?” she asked. 

“Uh…” The sound came out of his mouth before Aang offered to get it for her. She thanked him and tucked some hair out of her face. It was a bit strange for him to sit in a group of people who so sincerely cared for each other. As much as he knew that his childhood was messed up, moments like this made him start to process the severity of it. Azula would have let him have dirt on his face, waiting until later to mock him about it. Ozai would have scolded or punished him for it. You know, normal family things.

“Zuko, you okay?” Sokka asked, leaning forward. 

“Huh?” He snapped out of his thoughts, returning to the present. I really need to stop doing that, he thought to himself, turning his face towards Sokka. 

“You sort of got pale and looked… I dunno, sad?” 

He shrugged. “I just sort of got lost in thought. That’s all.” Thankfully, Sokka accepted that answer from him. He felt like he was always explaining himself to these people. It was a little exhausting. But he had also felt that way when he first started living with Uncle. Damn, having people care about you was a lot different than he anticipated. Not bad, just different. 

“So it looks like you’re all here,” Dr. Minami said. “Let’s begin our session tonight, shall we?”

“Okay, let’s go!” Sokka said, springing to his feet. The session had ended and people were trickling out of the church’s basement. Grabbing his bag out from under his chair, Zuko stood. Aang practically hit his head on the ceiling the way he jumped out of his chair. He really couldn’t wrap his head around how some people were so high energy all the time. 

“What’s in your bag?” Aang asked him as they ascended up the stairs. 

“Oh, just bandaids and a phone charger and stuff. My uncle wanted to make sure one of us had something in case of emergency.” 

In front of him, Toph snorted. “Sounds like your uncle.” Everyone shot her a look, before collectively remembering, and shooting it at him. “Is everyone staring at me?” she asked after a few seconds of silence. “Guys, you know I can’t see you!” Sokka and Aang mumbled some apologies. 

“We were just wondering how you know Zuko’s uncle,” Katara said after a moment. 

“Hey, his uncle just happens to make really good tea and give good advice,” she said defensively. Zuko wondered how she was managing to walk upstairs so easily by herself. Really, he had no idea what she was actually capable of. 

“That really didn’t answer the question,” Sokka said, pushing the door open and letting bitter, almost-winter air rush in. Shivering, Zuko cursed himself a bit for not packing a second jacket or a hoodie or something. The cold really wasn’t his friend. 

“Well, that’s my only answer, so deal with it.” And Zuko thought he was good at keeping people out of his personal life. Part of him was a bit concerned for her. She only looked about fourteen and it wasn’t good for her to keep even the most simple of secrets like that. 

Finally reaching the parking lot, Sokka ran ahead, loudly announcing, “Here she is! Curvy!” His arms were spread wide to show off a silver, rusting Honda . 

Katara sighed, “It’s a CR-V, which he pronounces as ‘curve’ and so he named his car—” 

“Hey! ‘Curvy’ is an excellent name and you know it!” Katara gave a pained but patient smile to the rest of the group as if she wanted to both apologize and have them share in her misery. Zuko would agree that the name wasn’t exactly fitting, considering the car was essentially just a rectangle; he did, however, appreciate the creativity in Sokka’s sense of humor. Someone pulled at his sleeve. 

“Is it just me or do you think Sokka fucks his car?” Toph whispered to him. It was an awful joke in more ways than one, but he couldn’t help but let out a small, awkward chuckle. Toph smiled. “I’ll take that as a ‘yes,’” she said before getting into the backseat. 

Going to the other side of the car from her, he climbed in as well. The siblings were in the front seats, Sokka driving, leaving Aang to be squished between him and Toph. He genuinely didn’t like being touched by other people. Uncle and his mother had always been exceptions, but his thigh touching Aang’s was making him uncomfortable. He knew the backseat wasn’t big and that he really wouldn’t be able to get any more space. While his brain knew that he just needed to breathe through his panic, his heart didn’t seem to understand it and rapidly picked up its rate. Why couldn’t his body just chill the fuck out for five damn minutes? He tried to let out a quiet deep breath as he relaxed his jaw to prevent himself from clenching it too hard. 

“Where are we going, Aang?” Sokka asked, plugging something into the cassette player that was connected to his phone. 

“Well, I suggested that one cookie place, but you said you had something better in mind, so I don’t know.” Sokka turned and gave him a weird look before seeming to remember and mutter an “Oh, right,” under his breath. Katara glared at her brother a bit, folding her arms over her chest. Zuko just wanted out of the car at this point. The physical contact was starting to overwhelm him a bit. It wasn’t even like it was bad contact and it was with Aang of all people. Honestly, Aang seemed like the kind of guy who would get upset over accidentally hurting an ant-fly. 

“Any suggestions?” Sokka asked, looking at something still on his phone. There was a moment of thought in the car before a loud guitar came through the speakers. Sokka muttered an apology and turned it off. 

“Was that Bumi?” Toph asked. 

Sokka gave an affirmative, “Yeah” with a curious look. 

“You listen to Bumi? ” she asked again, incredulous, leaning over the back of the driver’s seat. “Dude, what’s your favorite album? If it’s not ‘Goat Gorillas,’ I will throw hands.” 

Sokka was seemingly shocked by the outburst and blinked for a minute. Hesitantly, he stated, “I mean, ‘ King Candy ’ is pretty good too.” 

“What?” Her voice was dripping with disbelief. “I don’t think I heard you right. You like ‘King Candy’ over ‘Goat Gorillas?’ Are you insane?”

Before he could really stop himself, Zuko felt his mouth saying something. “I have to agree that ‘King Candy’ is a pretty good album.” There was another incredulous “What” from Toph as she turned towards Zuko’s general direction. 

“I thought your uncle raised you better than that!” she yelled at him, getting a little overly passionate on this subject. Probably if hearing is one of the main ways you experience the world, music would become a fairly important part of your life. The statement did catch him a bit off guard, though. 

“How’d you—” he started before Toph interrupted.

“Know your uncle raised you? He talks about you all the time, Zuko! But that’s not the point. Twinkle Toes! Do you listen to Bumi?” Who the hell is Twinkle Toes? Zuko thought to himself. 

“I mean, kind of. I listen to a few of his songs, but I’m not really into rock, ya know?” Aang answered. She scoffed at that, folding her arms and leaning back into the seat. 

“Figures,” she muttered, before continuing at a normal volume, “How about we go get some tacos?” The other four all shared a look among themselves and shrugged. 

“Sure,” Aang said. “As long as they have a vegetarian option, I’m down.” 

Zuko was thankful to finally get out of the car. They were on the other side of the city now and had taken the expressway to a little taquería that felt like it was in the middle of nowhere. He’d grown up in the eastern part of the state. Over there were small businesses and houses and other buildings everywhere. He supposed it was because the people there generally had more money. This place was on the way out of town and it sat almost directly on the street. They’d had to park on the other side of the road as that was as close as they were going to get. Honestly, there was a bus stop less than a block down the road and Zuko didn’t see why they couldn’t have just taken the bus. There would have been more room to spread out. 

When they entered, they were greeted by an elderly Hispanic woman. She had a sweet, wrinkled face and smiling eyes. There were a few kids back behind the counter who looked like they might be her grandchildren, though he didn’t want to assume. It was a small place, but up against one wall was a line of booths. Without saying anything to the others, Sokka and Aang raced over to one, sitting opposite from each other. Katara huffed a bit, grabbing Toph’s hand to help her navigate the maze of tables and chairs before them. Zuko followed, taking a seat next to Sokka as Toph and Katara sat next to Aang. 

“Have you guys been here before?” Toph asked, her hands laying flat on the table. There was a consensus of “No,” bringing a grin to her face. “You’re going to love abuelita. I swear she makes the best tacos in town.” At the same time she said that, the elderly woman approached their table. 

“Thank you,” the woman said with a thick accent, pinching one of Toph’s cheeks. “Are these your friends?” 

“Nah, I found them on the street corner and decided to bring them with me. I’m not sure where the two with no taste in music are, but these are Aang and Katara,” she said, jabbing a thumb at them. The woman smiled and laughed lightly at the sarcasm. 

“Call me ‘abuelita.’” Part of Zuko was a bit flabbergasted by the genuine love that this woman seemed to exude. Also, why was Toph friends with all the older people in town who owned their own businesses? No offense to Uncle, of course, but did everyone in that demographic just adopt her on sight? He knew she spent a lot of time out of her house but so much that she had befriended all these people throughout the city? 

Abuelita handed them a few menus and said to give her a wave when they were ready. Before walking away, she ruffled Zuko’s hair, something he neither anticipated nor fully disliked. His face flushed as his friend’s snickered a bit. 

“What just happened?” Toph asked, legitimately confused. 

Saving Zuko from the added embarrassment, Sokka said, “Nothing, Toph. It’s not important.” Zuko gave him a small smile. He was beginning to feel like maybe friends weren’t so bad after all. They certainly would throw a bit of a wrench in his post-graduation plans, however. This city would be harder to leave behind if he felt like he was abandoning five people instead of just one. He sighed a bit and made himself zone back into the conversation happening around him. 

Abuelita sat their four bills on the table. Touching Toph’s hand gently, she said,  “I didn’t charge you for the extra taco. You’re so thin. You need to eat more.” Again, why had she been adopted by this woman and his uncle? Toph gave her a smile and thanks. She smiled back, patting her hand, telling them to enjoy their nights, and ruffling Zuko’s hair again. What in the hell? He thought, really not sure why this woman felt it was appropriate to touch him in any capacity. Was he going to say anything? No. But it was still weird. Aang, Katara, and Sokka snickered again and this time Zuko really wasn’t sure how to react. Toph was angry this time, saying something about how she felt left out. 

“Uh… abuelita keeps touching my hair,” Zuko admitted eventually, guilt settling in that he didn’t just say something earlier. 

Toph let out a laugh. “Really? She told me once that she does that to customers she thinks are attractive and knows will let her do it!” If his face wasn’t red before, it surely was now. What started as a snickering had become full laughter. As embarrassed and awkward as he felt, his lips pulled into a smile and he let out a laugh as well. 

“Toph, are you giving away my secrets? In front of my nietitos ?” A voice called from the kitchen. 

“Yes!” Toph called back, turning in the direction of the voice. Abuelita replied something in Spanish and Toph laughed harder. Despite not fully understanding the exchange, the rest of the group began again as well. He wasn’t sure when was the last time he had laughed this much. Sure, he had laughed over the last five years, but not like this. Maybe that’s why he accidentally snorted. 

Everyone paused for a brief moment before a metaphorical floodgate opened. What they were laughing at wasn’t even that funny. Zuko felt dumb, laughing at practically nothing. But he felt happy. He felt like a normal eighteen-year-old. Accidentally, he snorted again. He slapped a hand over his nose and mouth. Damn, that’s embarrassing , he thought, still chuckling. It only triggered one more burst of laughter, as they all began to calm down. As Aang wiped at his eyes with his sleeve and abuelita approached their table, panic swept over them to get money out. 

Wordlessly, Toph handed a plastic card over—whether it was a debit or credit, Zuko wasn’t sure. The elderly lady gave her a hum in response, collected all the bills without pay, and walked back to the cash register. They all stared at her, before collectively remembering. “Thank you, Toph,” Katara began, putting her hand on hers. “But I’m going to insist that I pay you back for Sokka’s and my—” 

“It’s fine, Sugar Queen,” Toph replied, taking her hand back and folding her arms. “You guys are my friends and my parents give me more than enough money.” She shrugged. “I just felt like doing something special.” 

“Did you plan this? Why did she just know that you were paying for all of us?” Sokka asked, shocked. She gave another shrug. 

“Abuelita and I have a special connection.” None of them seemed to fully accept that answer, instead trying to insist on paying her back. Zuko knew so little on her parents, but the fact that they had “house staff” did seem to indicate that they made significantly more than Uncle… or really probably the rest of their guardians. But Uncle had told him to make sure he always paid for himself. So while he was mostly sure that she could afford it, it still felt wrong. Guilt rested at the pit of his stomach again. He wasn’t good at this “friends” thing yet. 

“Guy, it’s fine! You don’t have to pay me back,” she exclaimed, brushing some hair out of her face. “I’m not going to accept any money you try to give me!” There was such finality in her voice that they all seemed to not want to question her. 

Letting out a breath, Aang said, “Well, thank you, Toph. That was really considerate and generous of you.” 

Reaching over Katara’s shoulder, she gave Aang a shove. “Of course, Twinkle Toes.” Zuko was going to need someone to explain the nicknames to him. He’d been trying to gather it through the context of conversation, but he was beginning to feel oblivious. Abuelita returned the card to Toph. 

“You need to sign, but I won’t say nothing if it’s not you.” She smiled and walked a few feet away and took a seat. Toph slid the receipt in front of Katara, who signed, but also silently placed a twenty-dollar bill down under the piece of paper. 

“Did you write in a tip?” Toph asked, sliding it all back to the edge of the table. 

“Yes, I gave her twenty dollars.” It wasn’t exactly a lie. Zuko shot a look over at Sokka, who shrugged as if to say, “What can I say? She’s stubborn.” 

“Thank you,” Toph mumbled, sliding over and standing up. “Thank you, abuelita, I’ll see you next week.” That prompted a chortle from her. Abuelita replied in Spanish, making Toph laugh as well. Zuko was able to come to the conclusion that Toph must be able to understand the language. That he could pick up through context. Sliding out of the booth, he stood next to Toph, who reached up and grabbed onto his arm with both hands. His shoulders tensed and he felt his heart rate pick up. Why did people keep touching him?

After a moment, she asked, “This isn’t Sokka, is it?”

“No,” he said. He figured the sound of his voice would help her figure out who he was. She shrugged, not letting go. Part of him had hoped she would.

“I sort of figured. You’re more muscular than him.” He could feel his face flushing again. 

“Hey!” Sokka exclaimed. Maybe he was just upset that Toph had nonchalantly said it aloud, otherwise, there really wasn’t anything to be offended by. Abuelita made a comment that gained another laugh from Toph. 

“You’re one funny lady, abuelita,” she said, tightening her grip on Zuko’s arm. She gently nudged him in the ribs with her shoulder. “We’ve got to get going! Have a good night.” 

“You too,” she said with a small wave, collecting the bill and the twenty. Feeling awkward and still tense, Zuko helped guide Toph out and around the tables. She let go of him as soon as she heard the bell on the door chime. 

“Thanks, bud,” she said, punching him in the arm. He jumped a bit, rubbing the spot of impact. 

“Why’d you hit me?”

“That’s how she shows affection. You’ll get used to it,” Sokka stated, walking past them towards the crosswalk. Over the last hour, Zuko had come to fully process just how far out of his comfort zone these people were bringing him. 

“Alright!” Aang exclaimed, practically floating off the ground. “Where to next?” 

“I don’t know, but I’m going to insist that we go somewhere with free parking,” Sokka stated, pulling his keys out of his pocket and swinging them around a bit. Katara rolled her eyes a bit at him. Aang scrunched up his face as if he was thinking really hard. 

“I know!” Aang followed his exclamation by nearly jumping in the air. That kid really needs to take a Xanax or something, Zuko thought, not actually knowing anything about medicine. “We should go to the park!” 

“Which park?” Sokka asked as the light turned red and the crosswalk went from orange to white. “There’s like ten around here.” 

“Oh, you know,” Aang said with a large bounce in his step. “The one that’s just north of the Blue Bridge.” 

“The one with the name that I don’t know how to pronounce?” 

“Yeah!” Zuko was really glad that the two of them understood each other. He had no idea what was going on and was a little afraid to ask. They made it across the street and were heading towards the parking lot again. 

“I’m sorry,” Toph said after a moment, “Someone needs to explain to me where we are going.” 

“They want to go to the park that’s behind the Presidential Museum,” Katara explained, which Zuko was thankful for. Maybe one day he’d be fluent in Aang and Sokka. 

“Yup! And I’m planning on parking at the Burger King down the road and hoping I don’t get towed,” Sokka stated, sticking his key into his door and unlocking the car. Katara sighed, climbing into the passenger seat and assumedly rolling her eyes. Aang climbed in behind her, making sure Toph didn’t hit her head as she got in as well. Zuko really wasn’t looking forward to the drive. Physical contact wasn’t something he sought out ever. After the age of thirteen, the only person he really allowed to touch him in any capacity was his uncle. Trying to not sigh aloud, he sat next to Aang. Noticing his presence, Aang looked up at him with a smile. 

“Are you having fun? I’m really glad you came!” He was genuine. His brain was overly focused on all the points of contact they were sharing. Was he starting to panic? Yes. But was he having fun? Also yes. He was only going to tell Aang about the latter, however. 

“Yeah, I’m glad I came too,” he said, hoping his voice wasn’t shaking. Trying to seem completely okay, he even gave Aang a small smile. It seemed to work as Aang’s face lit up even brighter. There was a hand hitting his knee. 

“Glad you’re here too, Sparky,” Toph said, crossing her arms with a smirk. 

“‘Sparky?’” He felt his nose scrunch and the corner of his mouth pull up in a mix of confusion and antipathy.

“You haven’t earned the explanation for your nickname yet,” she said indignantly. 

“Don’t worry, Zuko,” Aang chimed in. “I don’t know the meaning behind mine either.” 

“I don’t know why she calls me ‘Captain Boomerang,’” Sokka added with a shrug. 

“Don’t you own a boomerang?” Zuko asked, more confused than before. 

“Yes, but that’s not the point.” He really wasn’t sure what the point was then. Scrunching his eyebrows, he held up a confused hand to Sokka, not articulating anything past that. 

“Well, at least your nickname isn’t ‘Sugar Queen,’” Katara piped in, sounding a little bitter. 

“Holy shit,” Toph said, exasperated. “If no one likes my nicknames, I can just jump out this window and find my way home.” 

“We didn’t say we didn’t like them,” Aang objected. 

“Yeah!” Sokka said, glancing briefly at her in the rearview mirror before returning his attention to the road. Katara just mumbled something. After a beat, Zuko shrugged. 

“I really don’t mind ‘Sparky,’ I was just confused.” 

Throwing a hand out, coming close to Aang’s nose, Toph stated, “Thank you!” Gently with an open hand, Aang moved Toph’s away from his face and leaned forward to talk to Katara. Considering his seatbelt rested only across his lap, Zuko really hoped for Aang’s sake that they didn’t end up in an accident. He was sure that the kid could fly through the windshield so easily and that was no way to go. Thankfully, they didn’t crash, though they sure came close. 

“Will you two lovebirds stop flirting so I can see out the rearview mirror?” Sokka asked with mild disgust. 

“We’re not flirting!” Katara hit his arm, causing him to jerk the wheel a bit. Zuko instinctively grabbed Aang as he fell into him. The two made nervous eye contact, regretting not just taking the bus. 

“Don’t hit me! I’m trying to drive!” Sokka shouted at her, keeping his eyes straight ahead. “Also, no matter what you were doing, I couldn’t see over your big head, Katara!”

“My head’s not big!” she retorted. Sokka didn’t look at her. “At least, I don’t have a man bun!” Zuko was going to suggest that someone else ride shotgun on the ride home. 

The light turned yellow and Sokka slammed on the brakes. Tightening his grip on Aang’s red canvas jacket, Zuko held on to him to make sure he didn’t go flying. Toph, however, hit her head on the seat in front of her with an “Ow! What the hell!” Sokka whipped towards his sister. 

“What is your problem! I asked you to stay out of the way of the rearview and you insult my wolf tail!” 

“Calling it a wolf tail doesn’t make it cool!” The light was now red and there were no other cars around, thankfully. Sokka slowly turned around and looked at the back seat passengers. There wasn’t any anger in his eyes, just a burning intensity that made Aang swallow hard. 

Before Sokka could say anything, Toph stated, “Don’t worry Sokka, I think it looks cool.” His face relaxed. 

“Thanks, Toph, I really appreciate—” He paused, suddenly becoming disheartened and turning back around to face the wheel. “Why do you feel the need to do that?” Zuko smiled a bit out of relief while everyone else chuckled. That ended the argument. Zuko finally let go of Aang, noticing just how tightly he was clenching his fists. Aang looked up at him with a grateful smile. The rest of the ride to the Burger King parking lot went over without incident. He was surprised to realize that he was no longer panicking over the constant physical contact. 

Putting the car in park, Sokka mumbled, “We’re here.” 

Reaching up to crack her shoulders, Toph asked, “Sokka, can I leave my shoes in your car?” He cocked an eyebrow and turned around in his seat towards her. 

“Sure?” He paused for a second. “Why?” 

“I need to free my feet,” she said, taking her tennis shoes off and setting them on the floor of the backseat. Taking the final sock off, she stretched her foot out onto the center console and sighed, “Much better.” Sokka glanced over at his sister and Zuko, Aang seemingly unphased by this turn of events. None of them really knew where to begin with questions, as Toph opened her door and got out. Part of Zuko was worried that she might get frostbite… Uncle’s parental worrying was really starting to get in his head. 

Opening the door, he got himself out as well, Aang practically jumping out after him. Within a few seconds, Zuko felt like he was going to freeze solid. Shoving his hands into his pockets, he said, “Toph, you’re going to get frostbite.” 

“Nah,” she said, turning slightly in his general direction. “I have thick calluses and I’ll be fine.” 

“I don’t think that’s how that works,” Aang interjected. 

“Yeah,” Katara added, walking over to stand next to Aang. “I think it’s too cold for you to walk around barefoot.” Toph groaned. 

“I’ve walked five miles in snow barefoot, I’ll be fine! You guys aren’t my parents!” Zuko looked over at the other two. Katara’s face scrunched up, ready to argue. Sighing slightly, Zuko turned around, opening the car door back up and shoving Toph’s shoes and socks into his bag. He turned back to find Katara and Toph still bickering over the topic. Part of him wondered how all of them became friends in the first place, given the two fights that had occurred in the past five minutes. 

“Guys, just let it go,” Sokka interjected. “I think Toph will be fine.” 

“Thank you, Sokka!” she yelled. Katara hit his shoulder, opening her mouth to say something as Sokka whispered something to her. That prompted her to turn and stare at Zuko. 

Pressing her lips into a thin line, Katara mumbled, “Fine,” and turned and began walking down the sidewalk towards the museum. Zuko turned and made eye contact with Sokka, who simply shrugged. The rest of them decided to follow Katara. 

“Do you have any plans for after graduation Zuko?” Aang asked, catching up to him. 

He shrugged. “Sort of. I’m just planning on getting out of this state and figuring the rest out from there.” 

“Oh cool! Are you going to travel a lot?” 

“Probably not,” he said with another shrug. 

“Do you want to go to college?” Katara glanced back at him over her shoulder as Aang said it. 

“Yeah. I’m just sort of broke right now.” 

“You know, it’s not too late to apply for more local colleges, so you don’t pay for out of state tuition. And you could commute if you really had to,” Katara added. He knew she just wanted to be helpful, but it was still a little grating. He gave her just a hum in response, letting the subject drop. 

“Gyatso said he’ll take me wherever I want to go as soon as I graduate. We don’t even have to stay on the continent this time!” he stated, balancing himself on the edge of the curb as they passed under the expressway. 

“Where are you going to go, Twinkle Toes?” Toph asked, walking behind them as if she knew exactly where they were going. 

“I don’t know yet! But I have a list of places I do want to see one day.” There was so much excitement in his voice. With a bounce, he turned and started walking backwards along the edge. He stuck his arms out away from his sides as if it was difficult to balance. Perhaps it was as he moments later tipped to one side. Toph reached out quickly, grabbing him by the front of the shirt. “Thanks, Toph!” Aang said happily, as Zuko tried to come to terms with what he’d just witnessed. Toph obviously was blind, he wasn’t doubting that but what the hell?

Katara threw a glance over her shoulder back at them. At that point, Aang gave up on balancing on the curb but was still walking backward so that he could talk to Zuko and Toph. Humans probably weren’t supposed to walk that way for extended periods. Zuko, however, wasn’t about to stop him. He’d been yammering on about something to Toph for the past few minutes. 

“...and after that, I got my taste back! Weird, right?” Zuko was not going to ask for a repeat of that story. 

“Yeah, too bad it couldn’t work with my eyes,” Toph commented, pulling down the skin under her eyes. Huffing a bit, she released her skin, folding her arms as they stopped at the edge of the street. Katara was arguing with her brother on how they shouldn’t jaywalk as he proceeded to cross the street without a crosswalk. 

“There’s no one around, Katara, no one cares.” 

“I care!” 

“I agree, no one cares,” Toph butted in, following Sokka. 

“Toph! Don’t cross the street; you’re barefoot!” Katara objected.

“You’re not my mom,” Toph said, flipping her off. How Toph knew what that was or what it meant, Zuko wasn’t sure. Katara let out an offended huff. Not really seeing a crosswalk nearby, Zuko decided to just jaywalk as well. 

“See, it’s not a big deal!” Sokka stated as Zuko joined them on the other side of the street. 

“Yeah, I guess it’s not,” Aang said, looking guiltily at Katara. 

She huffed again, less offended this time. “Fine.” She grabbed Aang’s wrist and practically dragged him across the street, joining the other three as they prepared to walk through the parking lot. Zuko had never been through the city this late at night. It wasn’t like Uncle wouldn’t let him out this late, it’s just he never had a reason to be. 

Silently, cold hands wrapped around his bicep. Feeling his face flush, he looked down at Toph. The parking lot was empty, except for three cars towards the sides. Obviously, she didn’t know that, but it was still strange to him how easily she just reached out for touch—for help . He glanced at her feet. They weren’t turning red yet, despite the temperatures; nonetheless, he was concerned. Maybe she triggered some impulse in him to care for a younger sibling. Sure, he’d had Azula, but she never needed him in any capacity. Even as a child. Something he’d also noticed is that he’d always just cared in general more than her. Whether that was just a difference in temperaments or something else, he wasn’t sure. 

“Aren’t you guys excited?” Aang asked, nearly gliding over the ground instead of walking. Sokka shrugged. 

“I guess,” he said, sounding like he was more so trying to be polite than genuine. 

“C’mon!” Aang exclaimed, again walking backward and going off the sidewalk into the grass. “There’s so much to do here!” Maybe Zuko’s vision was worse than he thought because the park looked like one large hill next to the river. 

“I see exactly what you mean, Aang.” It came from the girl still holding onto Zuko’s arm. Letting go, she stepped into the grass, wiggling her toes and smiling slightly. 

“Thank you, Toph!” Aang said, ignoring the sarcasm. “I thought it would be fun to come here just to talk and be kids.” 

“Aang,” Katara began. “I know you’re only fourteen, but we’re not kids.” 

“There’s always a little kid that lives inside us all,” Aang said. It was a somber tone paired with a smile, jarring enough to make Zuko remember that night on the street corner. The little packet of wasabi that Aang held out to him. “Besides,” he continued, the smile reaching his eyes now. “Watch this!” Promptly, he stuck his hands in the air and leaned back. It led to a series of backflips down the hill. Zuko wouldn’t have taken him for a gymnast, but he was petite enough that he guessed it made sense. Sokka let out an impressed, “Huh,” as Katara clapped politely. 

“What are you guys waiting for?” Aang shouted at them from the bottom of the hill. “Get down here!” With a chuckle, Toph took off running down the hill, stopping within feet of Aang and falling on her back purposefully. The three older teens all shared a look before walking down the hill like normal human beings. Zuko didn’t think it was weird for Toph to respond that way. It sounded like she was overcoddled at home and tried to really soak in the freedom any time outside of that. Running barefoot downhill in near-freezing temperatures seemed to fit in with that sort of mentality. Similarly, Aang was raised by a nomad— What was his name? Gy-something —and of course had an adventurous spirit. Part of Zuko felt again like maybe he hadn’t had a permanent friend group like this before and was overcompensating now. 

Aang just beamed at them as they reached the base of the hill. Wordlessly, Zuko plopped down next to Toph, who had put her arms behind her head and bent her knees so her feet were flat on the ground. As he sat, Aang ran up to Katara, asking her if she wanted him to teach her how to do a cart-wheel. Sokka huffed and flopped down next to Zuko. He extended his legs out before him, leaning back on his hands. They stayed silent as Aang managed to do cartwheel after cartwheel trying to show Katara how to do one. 

“They better not break their necks,” Toph mumbled, closing her eyes and turning her face up towards the obscured stars. 

“They’ll be fine,” Sokka huffed. His bun—wolf tail, as he’d called it—was coming undone and hanging halfway down his skull. Sitting up slightly, he pulled his hair out of the tie and ran a hand through it. His skin seemed to glow in the warm lamp post light. Even under Sokka’s jean jacket and gray hoodie, Zuko could see that he was muscular. Sokka let his hair fall for a moment, watching his sister and friend horse-around by the river. His hair fell right around his sharp jawline and accentuated his captivatingly blue eyes. Zuko couldn’t believe how incredibly attractive—

FUCK.  

Zuko turned his eyes back to Katara and Aang doing cartwheels in the grass, wide-eyed and heart pounding. He couldn’t have a crush on Sokka; he was just starting to become a part of this friend group and a crush was incredibly inconvenient. A crush on any of them would be detrimental! Why was he so damn bad at having friends? He was pulled from his thoughts by an elbow in his side and a chuckle. 

“What’s so funny, Toph?” Sokka asked, his hair pulled back in a bun again. 

“Wouldn’t you like to know, bun boy?” she replied coolly, still lying in the grass. Her head was tipped towards Zuko, a smug smile on her face like she knew something. Did she know? How could she? 

There was a loud THUMP that prompted Sokka to leap to his feet. Katara had landed slat on her back doing something and her brother was rightfully concerned. With him just out of earshot, Toph sat up and whispered, “I know your secret and it’s okay. Everyone and their mom has a crush on Sokka.” That said, she laid back down, as if she hadn’t moved at all. Zuko could feel his face flush. He blushed as easily as he bruised, and he bruised like a damn peach.

Katara and Aang laughed about something as Sokka marched back over to his spot in a huff. Sitting back down, he pulled his knees into his chest and folded his arms, pouting slightly. Chin resting on his forearms, he turned his gaze to meet Zuko’s and asked, “It’s not weird to be concerned when your younger sister gets hurt, right?” Zuko shook his head. “Exactly!” Sokka threw his hands out and exclaimed the word towards his sister. “I’m not being overly concerned!” She and Aang just laughed again, causing him to fall back into the grass. 

“Zuko, you have a sister, right?” Toph asked, eyes closed and head tipped towards the sky. She had now crossed one leg over the other, keeping one foot firmly on the ground. Her toes were beginning to look paler than normal and Zuko knew he’d need to talk her into wearing at least socks soon.

“Yeah,” he mumbled, not really sure where this conversation was about to go and feeling his heartbeat already begin to pick up. 

“Why doesn’t she live with you and your uncle?” He was trying not to stare at her, keeping his gaze on the river in front of them. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Sokka watching him. 

He shrugged, before remembering that wasn’t an answer he could give Toph. “She just didn’t leave with Uncle when I did.” It was a simple enough statement, but it left him worried she’d keep digging in farther. Thankfully, they were interrupted. 

“Toph, you really need to put shoes on your feet! They’re turning blue!” Katara stood a few yards away, hands on her hips. 

“They’re really not that cold!” she shouted back. 

“Yeah, even I’m going to say that you should put some shoes on,” Sokka stated, sitting up and looking over at the other girl. Propping herself up on her elbows and setting her foot back on the ground, she turned in the direction of Katara and Aang. 

“Twinkle Toes, please tell me you have my back on this.” 

He shrugged. “Sorry, Toph. I have to agree with—” There was a hand hitting Zuko’s shoulder. 

“You agree with me, right, Sparky?” Her pale green eyes were somehow trained on his. 

“Uh,” he began dumbly. “No.” 

“Fuck,” Toph said, plopping back down. “I don’t want to walk all the way back to the car for some dumb shoes.” 

“Actually,” Zuko said, turning to grab his bag off of his back. “I brought them with me.” Toph’s head whipped towards him, her mouth slightly open . 

“You what? ” she shouted, more out of shock than actual anger. 

“Yeah,” he mumbled, placing them near her hand so that she could find them easily. Thankfully, she took them and put them on without any more complaints; although, she did grumble to herself. 

Seeming to lose interest in gymnastics, Aang walked across the sidewalk and sat in front of Zuko with a wide grin. “What’s your favorite color?” The question came as a surprise. Who thought about a favorite color past the age of nine? 

“Uh, I don’t know… Orange?” he guessed. 

“Really? Mine’s orange too.” Katara gave him a small smile, sitting cross-legged nearby. He turned to her, still grinning. “What’s yours?” 

“Aqua,” she said, still smiling slightly. Aang then turned to Sokka expectantly. 

Shrugging, he said, “Dunno, gray, I guess.” 

“That’s boring,” Katara said. 

“Well, I—”

“Is anyone going to ask me what my favorite color is?” Toph interjected. There was a collective chuckle at the comment. Zuko could feel a smile pull at his lips. “I’m serious!” The chuckling dissolved into real laughter. Zuko couldn’t help but smile at her. It was actually kind of nice to be around people who were genuinely happy with life. Uncle was happy with life, but there was still so much sadness that he carried that crept up every once in a while. The conversation had moved on without him. 

“...so really just on the bottom of my feet,” Aang answered, sitting up straighter than Zuko had seen him ever before. Sokka, who a moment earlier had looked defeated, now had a devilish smile on his face. 

“So… Zuko,” he said slowly. He regretted zoning out now. “Are you ticklish?” There was no good way to get out of this. No matter how he answered, Sokka was going to test it. 

“Don’t touch me,” Zuko groaned. 

“I’m just curious, ya know.” His tone was serious, but the smirk on his face really gave him away. Zuko just wanted to smack that look off his face. 

“I’m not answering that.” 

“That means I have to get the answer myself,” Sokka said, grinning. Without thinking, Zuko leapt to his feet. All he could get out was “No,” before the other boy was on top of him and they hit the ground with a THUD. 

Unfortunately for both parties involved, Zuko was violently ticklish. 

“Sto -o -op,” he managed to laugh out. Sokka, however, did not stop. Impulsively, Zuko’s forearm made contact with Sokka’s neck and shoulder, knocking the other boy over. Pushing himself up on his elbows, he looked over at Sokka, still smiling with mud over part of his face. “Fuck off,” he said with a small laugh. 

“Never,” Sokka said, lunging forwards again and causing them to roll down the small remainder of the hill. In stitches, Zuko placed his opened hand over Sokka’s face, trying to shove him off again. Instead, Sokka did the worst thing possible. 

“Did you just lick me!” Zuko shouted, recoiling his hand in shock. 

There was still a smirk on Sokka’s face. “Yes.” 

Smacking his hand onto the side of Sokka’s face hard, Zuko let out a “Gross,” actually pushing him off this time. The bastard had the guts to actually laugh at him. “You’re a sick motherfucker, you know that right?” Zuko stated, glowering at him. He wasn’t actually angry, but he couldn’t really help himself from acting like he was. It was sort of hard to be mad at someone with eyes as pretty as his. Somewhere in the distance, he could hear Toph laughing her ass off. Katara was standing above them, scolding them for something. Sokka hadn’t broken eye contact with him yet—that same smartass smile on his face. Suddenly, Katara’s foot was on Sokka’s shoulder, rolling him slightly. 

“Are you listening to me?” she demanded, forcing Zuko to look up at her. “How are we supposed to get you two home now? You’re covered in mud!” 

“Relax,” Sokka said, moving her foot off of him. “I have a couple of old sweatshirts in the back of my car that we can change into.” 

“That doesn’t change the fact that it’s all over your pants!” 

“We can… uh…” Sokka paused for a moment, standing up. “I have a blanket we can sit on.” 

“And what are you going to do about the fact that Gran-Gran won’t let you out of the house after this because you ruined your clothes, huh?” To that, Sokka sighed. Sitting up, Zuko made eye contact with Aang. He shrugged. There was a sinking feeling in his gut. He could remember how angry his father used to get at him and Azula when they dirtied their clothes after playing with friends. Would Sokka and Katara’s grandmother be like that? Was he going to get them in trouble? He felt so stupid for just not stopping Sokka. Even though Sokka made the choice to—fuck, he was so bad at functioning like a normal human being. 

As Zuko sat up and began to realize exactly how much mud covered him, Sokka sighed. “I don’t know, okay? But I’ll figure it out.” Katara let out some noise of exasperation. 

“You better,” she mumbled, sitting back down near Aang, away from the mud. Zuko could feel his airways constricting. He felt so much responsibility for fixing this. 

“There’s—there’s a laundromat up on Alpine with a thrift shop a few blocks over,” he said, praying to whatever deity—or deities—may exist that his voice wasn’t shaking. No one needed to know that he was panicking over this. His hands may be numb and his heart may be about ready to leap out of his chest, but that was his problem and his alone. He was going to keep all those feelings inside and then one day he’d die . 

Feeling three sets of eyes and four sets of ears trained on him, he nervously continued. “You guys could go buy us cheap clothes to wear while Sokka and I wash these ones to wear home so our…” he paused, not knowing what to call his uncle and their… Gran-Gran. “Guardians” he settled on, “don’t get suspicious.” 

Sokka clapped him on the back, turning to his sister and stating, “See, I told you we’d figure it out!” 

She scoffed. “I think you specifically said that you’d figure it out.” 

“I said no such thing.” Sokka smirked at Zuko, before standing and patting his shoulder again. If he weren’t having an anxiety attack, he was sure that boy would’ve taken his breath away. Surely, Zuko had the worst damn luck in the entire world. 

Knees in his chest, he sat facing Sokka, cramped into the trunk of his car. Like the bastard he was, Sokka just grinned wildly at him. 

“What?” Zuko snapped. The other teen let out a chuckle, breaking eye contact and tucking a loose lock of hair behind his ear. Their feet were overlapping, knees nearly touching. 

“It’s just funny that we’ve lived very different lives, but we both have still ended up in the back of my car covered in mud.” Pursing his lips , Zuko let out a huff and looked over into the backseat of Sokka’s car. There were food wrappers everywhere, along with several socks, and a wide array of discarded papers. He’d noticed earlier that Sokka’s car was gross, but hadn’t taken the time to truly appreciate the extent of it. Considering he’d been saving for years to buy a car of his own, Zuko was a little disgusted that someone would take something like this for granted so much. He’d taken nothing but the bus for four years, ever since Uncle sold his car to pay the court fees to legally adopt him. There was a running list of things he needed to pay Uncle back for. Instead of acknowledging every single one, he scrunched his nose a bit, turned to Sokka, and said: 

“Your car is disgusting.” 

That same shit-eating smile returned. “Just the way it’s supposed to be.” 

“Thank you, Zuko!” Katara said from the driver’s seat. “I’ve been telling him for over a year that he needs to clean this thing at some point.” 

“I don’t see what the problem is, really,” Toph stated. Sokka opened his mouth with a finger in the air to say something before coming to some realization and sighing. In the passenger seat, Aang laughed lightly. 

The car was quiet for a few moments, music playing softly. Sokka was staring up at his sister, concerned. Aang was also staring at Katara, though his gaze held puppy love. Zuko wanted to vomit a bit at how mushy they got around each other. To be honest, he was happy for them that they were happy with each other, but could they be a little less conspicuous, please?

“Are you guys okay with just getting out on the side of the road?” Katara asked, peeking at them through the rearview mirror after going around the block several times. “I can’t find anywhere to park.” 

“Sure,” Zuko said, though it wasn’t heard over Sokka’s groan of “I guess.” Had he always been this annoying? Or was he just annoying now that Zuko couldn’t stop paying attention to him? 

Rolling her eyes, Katara pulled over, putting the hazards on. Aang hopped out of the passenger seat, running around the car to pull the door open to the trunk. The car was so old that the trunk did not lift open, it opened like a passenger door. Making eye contact with Zuko, Aang asked, “Do you guys want me to come with—” 

“No!” Sokka interjected, climbing out, hoodies in hand. “You’re the only thing that could possibly prevent Katara from buying me neon pink booty shorts and forcing me to wear them.” 

“I-I wouldn’t… say I’m the only thing,” Aang began, sounding unsure of where the rest of his statement was going. 

“You are the only thing.” Smiling awkwardly, Aang nodded, unconvinced. As Zuko’s feet hit the ground, Sokka glanced over at him before walking up to the open passenger door and saying something to his sister. The two really could bicker about anything. 

Closing the trunk, Zuko walked up to the sidewalk as Aang returned to his seat. Sokka finally gave in and let his sister drive off towards the thrift shop. It would probably only take them ten minutes to buy them both cheap pants and get back. They’d decided to just wear Sokka’s dirty sweatshirts instead of buying full new outfits. They hadn’t even made it through the doors of the place and Zuko was already beginning to worry that he was going to make things weird. Maybe he needed one-on-one sessions with Dr. Minami. 

A bell chimed as they entered. The place was silent except for the low rattle of a few of the machines. There was no one loitering inside, waiting for their stuff. Probably they were just in their cars or frequenting one of the many stores that lined the street. They were alone and Zuko’s heart was racing. 

“This seems like a good washer,” Sokka stated, opening the door and looking inside. Zuko shrugged. 

“How many quarters does it take?” 

“I don’t know how to do math. It’s two-fifty per wash, so you tell me.” Zuko blinked. 

“Sokka, it’s just ten quarters.” He stared at him for a moment before saying, “Huh,” and leaving it at that. While the other boy fed the washer the correct amount of change, Zuko walked over to the vending machine, paying for miniature containers of detergent and fabric softener. They weren’t the brands that he and Uncle normally used, but he supposed they’d do in a pinch. 

Turning to make his way over to the washing machine that Sokka was still putting quarters into, he could feel his heart begin to race. Was this going to be awkward? Two bros chillin’ in a laundromat, gettin’ undressed and one’s gay? He felt awkward about it. Honestly, he didn’t care about Sokka seeing him shirtless, he was anxious that he himself would make things weird. His life was really just a series of bad luck. 

Sitting his bag on one of the grimy seats nearby, Zuko peeled his soaked black jacket off, tossing it in the open washer. Sokka was struggling to get his jacket off around his hoodie, eventually managing to peel both off together. Zuko offered no help. He was really trying to just be normal about this interaction. He just had to get his shirt off and put a sweatshirt on. No big deal. Except his hair kept getting in his eyes. His hair was still caked with mud in places, falling into his face and getting on his nerves more than it should. Scoffing a bit, he rummaged through his bag, eventually finding a hair tie. He pulled his hair back into an assumably rough-looking ponytail, based on the few strands that fell back into his face. Maybe he needed to get a different haircut so that he could tie his hair back better. At the same time that he thought that, he noticed Sokka staring at him. His mouth was slightly agape and his eyes were kind of wide .

“Gotta problem, buddy?” Zuko asked. Sokka flushed and quickly dropped eye contact. 

“No, no. I just—uh, sorry.” He rubbed the back of his neck, placing his hoodie into the open washer as well. Suddenly, something clicked for Zuko and he couldn’t stop his mouth. 

“Are you gay?” he whispered, feeling like hard conversations were easier when quiet. Sokka looked back up at him, shocked. 

“No!” It came out at full volume. He paused and bit his lip, dropping eye contact momentarily. Looking back up, he gave Zuko a sheepish smile. “Well, sort of. I’m… I’m bi.” Zuko nodded, not sure what to do with that information now that he had it. Realization swept over Sokka’s face; eyes wide, he whispered back, “Wait, are you gay?” 

“Yeah,” he replied quietly. They stared at each other for a moment, not really sure where to go now. Zuko supposed that this was a strange way to figure out that one of your best friends was also not straight. To be honest, he’d never had a friend be anything but straight so he wasn’t sure how these interactions were supposed to go. Did he feel awkward about it just because he had some internalized homophobia he was still working through? Or was it actually just as tense—

“Oh, shit,” Sokka said at normal volume. “Please don’t tell anyone not even Katara I’m not out yet,” he whispered in one breath, starting to look a little panicked. Zuko just blinked. Why was he the one that was special enough to be told first? He wasn’t used to this sort of mutual self-disclosure. 

So, he nodded, and dumbly said, “No yeah, of course.” Sokka patted his shoulder with thanks. Zuko glanced down, noticing the series of bright blue lines running across his bicep and part of his forearm. He wasn’t sure how far up they ran, cut off by the wrinkled black Bumi t-shirt that Sokka had on. 

“Thanks, bud.” Zuko gave him a small smile. They stared at each other for a brief moment before turning back to the task at hand. Taking off his soiled shirt, Zuko realized that this was a first for both of them: neither of them had been out to a friend before nor knew how to handle this. Zuko especially didn’t know how to handle having a maybe-crush on a friend who just also happened to be into guys. Should he feel weird now about wearing the guy’s sweatshirt now? 

Tossing his shirt into the washing machine and picking up the grey hoodie that sat on the chair next to his bag, something awful hit his nose. Before he could stop himself, he said, “Dude, this thing reeks.” 

“Sorry,” Sokka mumbled, having already pulled on the other one. “I’m not sure the last time these were washed and I guess I’m just nose-blind to them.” He shrugged nonchalantly, but his face dropped when Zuko turned to face him. Maybe he should feel weird about Sokka seeing him shirtless? Things were probably only going to feel more weird when they had to change pants. Was there a restroom in this place for him to change in?

“That makes it worse,” Zuko said, still pulling the sweatshirt on. It may be disgusting, but he wasn’t about to go shirtless in public for much longer. The hoodie was snug on him, probably just a size too small. Was it about-to-burst-from-the-seams too small? No. Was it tighter than he would have liked it to be? Yes, but it was currently his only option. 

When his head reemerged, he found Sokka staring down at the linoleum. Moving his bag onto the floor, Zuko sat down, crossing his ankles. Sokka fiddled with his sweatshirt strings for a minute, leaning up against the still open washing machine. Folding his arms, he looked up. 

“Zuko, you’re dating someone, right?” He could feel his heart skip. 

“Yeah,” he answered quickly. Skipping a beat, he continued, “She’s a girl, though.” Sokka’s eyebrows raised. 

“I thought you said you were—” 

“It’s complicated, okay? I’m not exactly out either.” It came out too defensive. There was a nod in response. Quiet settled in between them for a moment. Zuko hadn’t meant to snap the way he did, but the damage was done. Sokka stood up a bit, readjusting his stance. 

“I was just wondering because I’d like to know your opinion on something.” It was Zuko’s turn to readjust himself, making eye contact with the other teen, cueing him to continue. “So there’s this girl, maybe you know her—Suki. She’s in my grade and on the lacrosse team.” Zuko shrugged and shook his head. “Anyways, I want to know if you think she’s into me. So, like, in math, she’s always offering to help me and touching my arm. Plus, she keeps inviting me to come to her matches and work out with her. I dunno, I kind of want to ask her out but…” he trailed off a bit, letting the information sit in the air and fidgeting again. 

“I’d say it’s worth a shot,” he answered. 

“Oh, cool! So you think she likes me?” Zuko shrugged again. Honestly, he wasn’t entirely convinced that Sokka wasn’t misreading this girl’s platonic interest in him as romantic. Also in his defense, Mai had been the one to ask him out about a year ago. Part of him also was secretly hoping it wouldn’t work out; nevertheless, watching Sokka’s face brighten was well worth the lie of omission. 

Smiling to himself, Sokka leaned back against the washing machine again. Zuko really wished the others would hurry up. Moments in silence drifted by comfortably. Sokka did something on his phone while Zuko tried to read something on one of the shirts spinning in the machine next to theirs. Just two friends in a laundromat. After a while, Sokka put his phone away, something visibly eating at him. 

“Hey, Zuko?” 

“Yeah?” 

Sokka bit his lip and made direct eye contact. “This is going to sound weird, but have you kissed another guy before?” Zuko wasn’t sure what face he made, but panic swept across Sokka’s. “I was just wondering since you said you have a girlfriend even though you’re gay and I don’t know, I just feel like I’m not actually bi because I haven’t kissed a guy before and I dunno.” The way Sokka rambled when nervous was kind of cute. He might have laughed at it had his heart not been pounding in his ears and his legs wanted to run. 

His phone rang. Uncle. He released a relieved breath he hadn’t realized he was holding and mumbled an apology about needing to take it. 

Stepping outside, he heard, “Zuko! Thank you for answering even though you’re out with friends.” Happiness dripped from his uncle’s voice.

“Hi, Uncle,” he mumbled, starting to feel the cold crawl up his spine. One sweatshirt with no other layers was not enough for this weather. 

“How is everything going? When will you be home?” 

“It’s going good, but, uh, I probably won’t be back for a few hours still.” 

“Really?”

“It’s just that, uh…” How was he supposed to explain this? He heard his Uncle take a deep breath on the other end. 

“You aren’t doing anything illegal, are you?” 

“No!” he said a little too loudly, panicked more than angry. A mother walking up the sidewalk pulled her daughter closer to her, eyeing him. He gave her a sheepish smile, suddenly painfully aware of how homeless he looked: dirty ripped jeans, disheveled hair, and a stinking, ill-fitting sweatshirt. He really couldn't blame her for the concern on her face.

Clearing his throat, he awkwardly continued, “No, we, uh… well, we were messing around and one of my, uh, friends… and I have to do laundry so we’ll be out until that’s done.” Uncle chuckled at the answer. 

“Okay, I’ll keep the front light on for you then.” 

“Thank you,” he muttered, starting to feel like an embarrassed little kid. 

After a beat, his uncle stated, “Well, I should let you get back to your laundry. Stay safe, Nephew. I love you.” 

“Love you too, Uncle,” he mumbled. With that, the phone call ended and he could go back inside to warmth and… Sokka. 

What is taking them so long? He thought, walking back inside. Sokka was now sitting precariously on the edge of the washer, texting someone. As Zuko sat down, feeling uncomfortable because of the conversation he walked out on, Sokka looked up at him with a smile. 

“So I took your advice,” Sokka began, putting his phone away. “And I texted Suki asking if she wanted to hang out sometime.” Zuko gave him a look. 

“I don’t think that’s the advice I gave you.” 

“Well, you told me it’s worth a shot at asking her out, right? So I asked her out!” Unable to stop himself, Zuko rolled his eyes. 

“Asking her to hang out sometime is not the same as asking her on a date,” he stated. Sokka crossed his arms and opened his mouth to say something in defense, but Zuko cut him off. “Plus, how unromantic do you have to be to ask her out over text? ” 

Pouting, Sokka retorted, “Well, it worked the first time!” Zuko pretended not to hear the “Sorta” mumbled a few moments after. He scrunched his eyebrows up, staring at the other boy for a moment, before remembering his introduction at group therapy. The dead girl. What the hell was he supposed to say now? 

Sokka seemed to recognize the tension in the air. “Sorry,” he muttered, staring at the linoleum. “When she… passed, we weren’t really even dating, but I think we would’ve if we’d had more time.” He let out a breath and made eye contact with Zuko. “It’s kind of hard trying to figure out how to date after your first girlfriend died, huh?” 

At a loss for words and feeling like he’d make it worse if he didn’t say something , he said the only thing his two brain cells could articulate: “That’s rough, buddy.” 

The bell rang as the door opened. Aang exclaimed, “We have pants!” 

The bathroom door flung open and Sokka sauntered out in a pair of gray sweatpants that fell around his toned calves. “These don’t fit,” he stated, throwing his jeans into the washing machine. Closing the door, he started the washer, finally having all that they needed for their partial load. 

“Sorry, you’ll just have to be uncomfortable for a few hours!” Katara said, having taken Zuko’s chair. No big deal. He’d just sit on the floor. It was fine. Not like he’d left his bag on it when he went to change or anything. 

Aang looked uneasy in the chair beside her. Toph had decided to join Zuko on the floor; her shoulder briefly touched his, establishing where he was, before pulling away. He noticed that the contact hadn’t made him flinch or begin to panic. Was this what progress felt like? 

Hoisting himself up, Sokka sat atop their washer, swinging his legs a bit like a child. His sister looked up at him, frowning. “I don’t think you’re supposed to sit on those when they’re running.” 

“Why not?” 

“Well, you might break it.” 

Sokka scoffed. “I am not going to break it. Why is it that whenever we get around other people you seem to get after me for the weirdest stuff? You never do this at home!” She pursed her lips. 

“Well, Gran-Gran is at home to do part of it for me.” Sokka folded his arms and leaned back against the wall. Aang twiddled his thumbs, probably not sure how to handle siblings bickering. Zuko looked over at Sokka, who rolled his eyes. Silence had crept its way in. Toph, blunt as ever, broke it. 

“Okay, can I get your guys’ back story? I need an explanation.” 

“What do you mean by ‘backstory?’” Katara asked gently. 

“You know,” Toph said with vague hand gestures. “Like why do you guys live with your grandma? Also what happened to your friend that died?” At that, both of the siblings visibly tensed. They exchanged a glance as if having a telepathic conversation. 

“Our mom died when I was seven and Sokka was eight. Our dad is in the Navy and was even before our mom died and our Gran-Gran took over raising us for him,” Katara stated, calm but eyes watering. Sokka sat up. 

“She was murdered in a burglary gone wrong,” he said. It sounded so simple for something so horrid.

“Oh, damn,” Toph muttered. Zuko wasn’t sure what he should say or if he should at all. 

Taking a deep breath, Sokka looked up at Zuko, holding his gaze. “Yue was my first sort of girlfriend. Katara and I met her through school. Eight months ago, she was diagnosed with stage four kidney cancer. They caught it so late that it had spread to her lungs and brain and she died a month later.” Katara dropped her eyes to the floor, nothing more to add. The rumble of the washing machines filled the space between the group. Zuko wasn’t sure if he should get up to console his friend or not. Did he want that? Should he ask? Unprompted, Sokka decided to continue, this time staring at Toph. 

“Yue told me once that she’d always be watching over me. She said that she felt like when people died they became a new star in the sky. I told her that it’d be pretty hard to find her then, with all the light pollution, and she…” he let out a strained laugh and wiped at his eyes. “She told me that it wouldn’t be because she would be the moon when she died… And she did three days later.” Something damn near broke in Zuko, watching him cry. Aang got out of his seat and took the two steps over to Sokka. As he pulled him into a hug, Toph got up from the floor to join in as well. Noticing that Katara and Zuko were still sitting, Aang removed one arm and motioned for them to join. So while Katara did as requested, Zuko remained. Though he felt awkward about it, he didn’t like people touching him. Maybe he should just suck it up and join. He could be considerate for two minutes, right? 

“Sparky, get up here,” Toph demanded with conviction. So he did. Getting up from the floor, he realized that he hadn’t been a part of a group-hug before. There were so many arms touching him. So many people who cared about him and wanted him there. This was meant as comfort for Sokka and partially Katara, but now he wanted to cry. 

Sokka was the first to pull back and the hug dispelled from there. No one wanted to make the first move to sit back down. Or maybe the rest of them were okay with standing. Looking nervous, Aang shifted his weight from one foot to the other. 

“Zuko.” It seemed to echo through the building. “While we’re talking about it, can I ask you why you live with your uncle?” Even though Toph had practically asked the other two the same question, Zuko was a little upset that Aang had asked him at all. What could he say? No? He’d be an asshole if he did that even though he was tempted to. 

Taking a step back and folding his arms, he huffed, “That’s not really a story I want to share.” 

“Oh, come on,” Toph said. “Katara and Sokka just spilled their trauma, you can too. It’s not like both your parents were murdered. You’ve mentioned your dad is still alive, so spill!” It struck a chord in him.

“Zuko,” Katara said, “it’s okay if you don’t want to share—” 

“No, it’s fine,” he snapped. “But only if you tell them how you know my uncle, Toph.” Why was he so mad at her? She was just naturally abrasive and he didn’t need to get angry. Some vertebrae in Toph’s neck cracked as she turned her head towards him. 

“Touché, Sparky, touché.” Cracking her fingers, she lowered herself to the ground. “As you know, my parents are assholes. I run away from home some afternoons just so I don’t have to deal with them and the Jasmine Dragon is one of my favorite places to go. Zuko’s uncle Iroh owns it and he and I get on swimmingly.” She turned her head back towards him. “Happy?” He gave her a hum in response.

“ You’re Iroh’s nephew?” Aang asked in surprise. Katara and Sokka were also staring at him in disbelief. 

Sitting back on the floor next to Toph, he replied, “Why is everyone surprised to learn that?” 

“He just talks so highly of you all the time,” Katara said. “I guess we were just…” She didn’t finish, but she didn’t have to. They just weren’t expecting someone as fucked up as me , he thought, pulling his ponytail out and running his fingers over his scalp. 

“Your uncle just really loves you, dude,” Sokka said, trying to backtrack for his sister. Zuko gave him a half-hearted smile. 

Hitting his shoulder, Toph said, “Now, pay up, buddy. What’s your trauma?” 

“Toph, he doesn’t have to if he doesn’t want to.” 

“If it helps, I live with Gyatso because I was abandoned as a baby,” Aang interjected, trying his best to keep the peace. Sokka’s head whipped over towards the other boy in surprise. 

“I thought you said Gyatso knew your parents,” Zuko said before he could really stop himself. Maybe he was just trying to keep the attention off himself. 

Aang rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, he did. He said that they were a couple of kids in over their heads. He worked at a fire station at the time and recognized me. They left me in the middle of the night on their doorstep. I was about a year old and too old to be given up legally like that but he protected them from any trouble by saying he’d take me.” They all accepted the answer in their own way. Zuko nodded. Katara reached out for Aang’s hand. Sokka just stared at the linoleum.

Toph elbowed Zuko in the ribs. “See? Whatever it is you’re hiding can’t be that bad!” 

“Toph!” Katara snapped. 

“I’m just saying we’ve all been fucked up and all of our childhoods sucked in their own ways! Whatever it is really can’t be that bad—” His mouth was shouting before he could process what he was doing. 

“Not that bad? My dad tried to kill me for being gay by lighting me on fire!” The group seemed to recoil from his words. He really needed to work on his temper. They didn’t deserve to be shouted at like that. Nevertheless, he did it. The three that could see stared at him in horror. Suddenly, what he’d actually said hit him. He’d just come out to all of them and told them about his deepest trauma in one breath. His heart was beating so fast he felt like it would burst. He couldn’t breathe. 

“Is—is that what your scar is from?” Aang asked, horrified. He nodded, avoiding eye contact. Toph placed her hand over his on the floor. He didn’t look over at her.

“Holy fuck, man,” Sokka mumbled, jumping down off the washer. 

“It’s fine,” he mumbled. “I’ve had—” 

“No, it’s not!” Sokka insisted, getting on the floor and hugging him. He tensed for a moment, before relaxing. He felt Toph wrap an arm around him as well and saw both Aang and Katara come to join them after exchanging a glance. Heartbeat slowing, he was suddenly thankful that they were such huggy people. And again, despite wanting to cry, he didn’t. He held himself together. Made himself be normal.

After a few minutes, he stated, “Alright, get off me now.” Just as he said it, the buzzer on the washer went off. The hug dispersed. Sokka collected the wet clothes in his arms and transferred them to a dryer, feeding it more coins. 

“I’m really glad to have you guys,” Toph said quietly beside him. She sniffled before continuing. “My parents are sending me to a school for the blind on the other side of the state.” 

“Why?” Aang asked, distress filling his face. 

“I ran away twice. Not like when I sneak out of the house ‘ran away,’ but I actually packed a bag and was going to head up north and hide out for a bit.” She wiped at her nose. “They’ve gotten sick of my antics and so they’re sending me off.” There was another sniffle. “Or they just don’t want to keep paying private detectives to go and find me.” She smiled slightly momentarily. “They just don’t understand that how they treat me really fucks with my mental health. They think anything to do with mental health shouldn’t be talked about, so they don’t report me missing when I leave. If the police were involved, I’d be in-patient at a mental health hospital and they just can’t have that .” There was sarcasm dripping from her voice. Katara bent down and placed a hand on her shoulder. Toph’s mouth turned down. “Can I tell you guys something? You have to promise to not think I’m weird.” 

“Of course, Toph,” Aang said, sitting on the floor now in front of them. She took a deep breath and sat herself up a bit. 

“I can see through my feet.” The four of them all exchanged looks, trying not to break their promise. “It’s like I can sense all the vibrations from all of you and just know where you all are. I can feel your heartbeats and your movements and just sort of… see you.” 

“I… guess that makes sense,” Katara said cautiously. 

“Yeah, like your sense of touch is heightened because you don’t have sight,” Sokka butted in. Aang fidgeted, meaning he was about to say something they may not be ready for. 

“There’s something I want to tell you guys too.” They all turned and stared at him. “I can see dead people.” 

“That’s not normal,” Toph said nonchalantly. “Also it’s not fair that I can’t see at all and you get to see more things.” 

“Well, it’s not always that I can see them. Sometimes I can only hear them.” As if that made it any better with how they all were taking it.

Katara rested her hand on his. “Aang, I don’t want to be rude, but you don’t… you don’t have schizophrenia, do you?”

“No, I’ve been able to do it since I was little. Gyatso said that he’s met other people who are connected to ‘The Spirit World’ as he calls it.” Katara looked over at her brother and Zuko, eyes begging one of them to do something. 

Sokka shrugged. “I don’t know. It’s not that weird. I saw Mom when I did shrooms once.” Horror filled Katara’s eyes. 

“Sokka! You did not!” 

“I only did it once,” he said defensively, folding his arms. “I was sort of drunk and someone talked me into it. It was awful. Mom cried the whole time about how she couldn’t believe what her little boy had become.” He tucked a stray strand of hair behind his ear. Katara covered her face with her hands. 

“I can’t believe you’ve been drinking underage too.” 

“I haven’t drank since, Ms. Goody-Two-Shoes. That experience scared me shitless,” he scoffed. “It was just after Yue died and now I’m afraid that I’ll see her too.” No one knew what to say to that, evidently . Sokka made eye contact with Zuko, searching for something in his face.  He wasn’t sure if Sokka found what he was looking for, but he turned away. If he was looking for judgement, he wouldn’t find it. When he was fifteen, he’d gotten drunk off his ass on the anniversary of the night he got his scar. He was hurting and needed relief, but safe. Uncle made sure to keep him safe. Zuko really couldn’t judge Sokka for anything.

Finally, someone broke the silence. 

“I wonder if I’d see anything if I did shrooms,” Toph wondered aloud. Zuko and Sokka chuckled at it, Zuko more so because he wasn’t sure what else to do. 

“I don’t think so, Toph,” Sokka mumbled. “You’d probably just hear and feel some crazy shit, though.” For some reason, that earned him a glare from Katara. 

“Can we talk about something other than drugs, please?” She begged, looking between Aang and Zuko. Aang readjusted himself, looking uncomfortable. 

“What’s eating at you, Aang?” Toph asked. Zuko was curious as to how much she got out of the vibrations she felt from them. 

“Well, I dunno. Gyatso lets me drink sometimes with dinner, Katara, and if that bothers you I can stop.” Katara looked at him dumbfounded. 

“Am I the only one here who isn’t drinking underage?” she asked, sounding pretty exasperated. 

“Probably,” Zuko mumbled. She made eye contact with him. He really should try to keep off her bad side.

“I mean, I haven’t,” Toph piped up, letting Katara relax a bit. “More so because I don’t have any interest in it than anything else.” 

“Thank you for being the only other responsible one here, Toph,” Katara said, looking back at Aang for a second. He looked sheepish, taking his beanie off to rub the top of his head. 

“Yeah, you shouldn’t rely on me too much to be responsible, Sweetness.” The three boys laughed. Katara scowled. As she scolded the four of them for something, Zuko couldn’t help but feel that maybe these four people were worth staying for. He may not have really known them two weeks ago, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to start a new chapter of his life without them now. 

“As annoying as you are, Katara,” Toph said, interrupting Katara who harrumphed. “I’m really going to miss you.” Katara melted a bit, suddenly sad. “I’m going to miss all of you,” Toph admitted. “You’re more of a family to me than my family is.” Impulsively, Zuko reached out and took her hand, squeezing it. Aang moved forward and put a hand on her shoulder. She pulled back. “Don’t hug me. I’m sitting on the floor and you’ll make me feel fucking trapped.” 

“Sorry,” Aang said, taking her other hand instead. “I’ll miss you too, Toph.” Katara held Aang’s hand. Sokka, after a moment of visible internal debate, filled the space, nervously holding his hand out to Zuko. Taking it, Zuko smiled at him and Sokka relaxed. 

“We’ll all miss you, Toph,” Zuko said after a moment, not sure how to tell her exactly how different everything would be without her. She probably knew already, the same way she magically knew about his crush on Sokka and about his Uncle raising him. He hoped she knew. She was important to him. They all were. He didn’t have the words to say it, but he hoped they knew.

It was quiet again, but comfortable. They stayed like that, silent, holding hands as if they just needed to soak in that moment for as long as possible. Toph leaned her head against his shoulder, normal aggression gone and vulnerable. Zuko couldn’t believe how much these people trusted him—and how much they trusted him. Aang gave him a smile, looking up from the top of Katara’s head. A month ago, Zuko hadn’t even noticed Aang before. Now he was willing to stay for him and the little family that they’d found.