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It had all been going so well. Until it wasn't.
The plan had been simple. Get in, stop Scarecrow from releasing the fear gas in the bank. Get out. Preferably taking Crane in handcuffs at some point. The teams were decided, Batman approved the plan and it began.
In hindsight, someone should have remembered what Dr Jonathan Crane had studied in.
"We have a change of plans, Hood," Dick's melodic voice echoed over the comm system that Jason had finally been given access to. It had its ups and downs. He could talk to Nightwing any time he wanted, and now the whole of Gotham was at its fingertips. As for the bad parts...
"Good change or bad?" Jason grumbled.
"Bad," added Damian. "Red Robin managed to screw everything up and got a face full of fear gas. He's headed your direction."
Jason bit down on his lip to stop himself from cursing. He tasted iron before he finally relented.
Tim was compromised. And dangerous. A highly trained teenager pumped full of fear gas could inject a fresh stream of chaos into Gotham's blood before they caught him. Well, before Jason did.
He could almost feel Dick's puppy eyes through the earpiece in his ear. Damn them.
"I'll try and intercept," Jason answered begrudgingly. "permission to punch Replacement in the face?"
He heard Dick's cry of "Hood!" just as Damian replied with a smug "Yes please". Little bastard. Jason may dislike Tim, but Damian all but despised the boy. Or at least, he acted like he did.
With a final groan, parts frustration and self pity, Jason pulled his grappling hook from his belt and launched himself into the air. His body flipped upside down as he scanned the alleys beneath him for a sign of Tim.
He landed on a fire escape as the boy, cloaked in his costume and hacking up yellow gas, ran past. There was no point in calling out. Anything Tim saw wouldn't be Jason.
It's been a long time since Jason had been under the influence of fear gas. His memories of the experience was hazy, wrapped up and boxed away with the other memories Jason tried to hide away. The more time he spent with the others Bats, however, the more those memories came back.
He might have preferred being dead.
It didn't take much effort to take Tim down. Under the gas, his training was completely forgotten. Jason flinging himself from the balcony at Tim did the trick. The Replacement hit the ground with a hard thump.
Now was the hard part.
"Red Robin! Listen to me," Jason tried talking Tim down.
The boy was screaming. His mask was hanging from one eye. That one blue eye that Jason could see was blown wide with fear, tears trickling from the corner.
Tim struggled against Jason, gloved hands clawing at Jason's face. He cursed himself for not wearing the helmet, for listening to Bruce when he asked Jason to stop wearing it for Bat missions. Said it made him different- set him against everyone else.
Jason knew the real reasons.
Tim showed no sign of stopping. Whatever he saw in Jason's stead was terrifying the boy. His face was twisted, throat echoing a sound halfway between a sob and a scream. His bottom lip was bloodied and torn, like he'd tried to stop himself from crying out.
Jason used his upper body strength to grip the boy's wrists, pin him down and prevent any serious injury to either of them. He felt bad for the kid, he really did, but shit, his face hurt.
Tim twisted and wriggled, legs splayed and kicking. Jason wasn't sure how he was going to get him all the way back to the Batcave like this.
His vision blurred slightly. Some of the surroundings seemed different, familiar almost. Like he'd been here so many times before...
The fear gas. This is why he should have been wearing the damn helmet.
Time was running out. He needed to get Tim back, and quickly. Jason was no use to anyone if he succumbed. He had no idea what he would be shown under Crane's influence. As Robin, it had been his dead mother, had been Bruce abandoning him and the Titans laughing at him and-
No. Now was not the time to feed the gas more information.
"Sorry about this, Red," Jason mumbled. He moved, faster than he had ever moved before. His hands gripped Tim's head and slammed it into the gravel.
Tim stopped screaming.
Jason felt for a pulse, made sure he hadn't hurt the Replacement too hard. Dick would be pissed about this.
Technically, Jason hadn't punched Tim in the face. But he was pretty sure nobody but Damian was going to defend him on this one. Maybe Cass.
"C'mon, Replacement," Jason picked up the boy, slung him over his shoulder like a damsel in need of saving. Which he was. "let's get you home."
He felt slightly awful for hotwiring some person's car to escort Tim in. Jason was sure he'd be able to return it at some point. Maybe.
~
Dick was out of his seat first. He glared at Jason, wrung his hands and groaned as Tim was dropped to the floor. "What did I say, Jason?"
"You told me not to punch him in the face," Jason replied, leaving over Tim's prone figure. "I didn't."
Dick ran his hands through his ink black hair. His mask was gone, allowing Jason the pleasure of watching Dick's bright blue eyes widen as Tim stirred.
Damian looked at Jason, raised his hand. It took Jason a moment to realise the boy was attempting to initiate a very hesitant high five. Jason responded, noting how large his hand looked against Damian's.
This was turning out to be a weird day.
As Bruce and Dick helped Tim onto a bed, Jason looked around the room, filled with the other Bats. Damian wandered away, too focused on that damn dog. Cass waved at Jason as his eyes fell on her and Steph. Even Alfred was downstairs, preparing to treat Tim in any way he could.
Surrounded by the people who called him family, Jason had never felt so alone.
He turned on his heel and fled towards the exit. Barely made it a couple steps before-
"Jason?" Dick's voice was soft, like waking up on a fresh summer morning wrapped in light sheets. Something Jason has only dreamt about. "where are you going?"
"Home," Jason responded. Technically wasn't a lie. The safehouse he was currently in was his home, for now. "we got our guy, Tim's not dead. Go team."
There was a dryness in Jason's voice. It swept up like a desert sandstorm, leaving Dick speechless and confused. Curse Jason's sarcastic nature.
"You're leaving already?"
"I'll drop by with my report for Bruce tomorrow or something, pinky promise," Jason wiggled his gloved pinky finger in the air before Dick's face. The other man's hand shot out, gripped Jason by the wrist and held him there. Well, shit.
"Stay," Dick urged.
Jason resisted the temptation to snap back. "Why?"
"Dunno. Because I want you to? Because you belong here?"
"I don't belong here, Dickie. Haven't for years. There's a tombstone out back that proves that," It's a low blow, but it's what Jason wants.
It hits home exactly as he planned. Dick flinches. Jason takes his chance, spins on his heel again and stalks towards the exit of the batcave. All he needs to do is make it to where he can see the city lights and then he's free to go.
Except Dick follows. He knows its him from the soft footfalls. The others could never be as light, as delicate, as the first Robin. He's a circus freak, a bird in human form made to fly across the night sky.
Jason rolls his eyes and says nothing.
"You can stay," Dick finally speaks up. "Alfred wouldn't mind. You might be his favourite."
That makes Jason smile. He can't bring himself to stop his lips turning. "Of course. I'm the only one who ever offered to wash dishes after dinner."
"He never let me or Bruce."
"Because he didn't trust either of you to do it right," Jason answered. He turned around reluctantly, drawn into conversation by Dick's gentle persuasion. He kept trying so damned hard to slip further away from the family, only for everyone to find ways to bring him back. Dick more than the others.
Dick's smile slipped. Those pretty blue eyes were downcast, ruining Jason's day. "What if I want you to stay?"
Jason's heart leapt into his throat. No, it was too good to be true. "Why's that?"
"Because, you're my brother," there it was. Jason knew it. He knew that Dick was going to say that. Always had known from the minute the question slipped from those beautiful perfect amazing lips. He held the question in his mind.
If Jason was infected with fear gas now, he imagined that this would be his vision. Rejection, over and over again. Not just from Dick too. From the family, from Bruce, from Catherine Todd and the birth mother he died for.
Dick seemed to notice the change in Jason's eyes. He frowned. "I know you don't think of me as a brother, but-"
"You're right," Jason replied slowly. He straightened up, eyes overcome by tendrils of green mist. "I don't."
And he did the most stupid thing he could have done.
He kissed him.
On the cheek. It was soft and gentle and everything Jason knew he could never be, not for Dick, not for anyone. He wasn't worthy of Dick, of touching his lips. This would have to do.
Dick froze beneath him. His cheek was warm and soft, Jason's wetted lips stroked back his cheekbone as he grazed the Boy Wonder's face with his own.
Dick's eyes focused as Jason pulled away. There were too many emotions there to read.
So Jason turned and fled into the dawn of Gotham's early morning.