Work Text:
And you. Only we two may interchange
Each in the other what each has to give.
Only we two are one, not you and night,
Nor night and I, but you and I, alone,
So much alone, so deeply by ourselves,
So far beyond the casual solitudes,
From Re-Statement of Romance by Wallace Stevens
Akaashi wasn't sure how many hours it has been. He was walking aimlessly, roaming the streets of Tokyo without a destination in mind. The rain was pouring down. Akaashi always loved rainy days. He treasured the feeling of solitude the rain gave. People waiting under eaves, Akaashi walking past them with courage, hand firm on his umbrella. He was the bravest one, at least in this situation.
He had a breakdown earlier today. His workload was harsh, putting an unbelievable amount of weight on his shoulders. Both psychologically and physiologically. Getting a comment about his posture from a mangaka was truly ludicrous.
Akaashi was never sure of himself, this wasn’t a new story to him. But doing a job where he has to be decisive and sure of his actions %100 was taking its toll on him. He was a hard worker but there were times that he felt like even moving his arm was a chore.
In addition to his gruesome routine, Bokuto wasn’t home. He was in Sapporo for his matches. Normally Akaashi would attend his games no matter what but if he went away this week, his job as an editor would be probably over.
A strong wind got his attention back to the present moment. He was holding onto his umbrella for his dear life. The rain was pouring down diagonally and his pants were a lot darker than before. The umbrella was basically useless now. The sudden realization sent shivers down his spine, the cold bit him. He sighed as he cleaned his glasses with the dry side of his shirt.
Things could have been worse. Yes, he couldn't get into the literature department but at least he had a job. That’s what his mom said. He had a boyfriend he loved dearly, a house to sleep in, food to eat, morning to wake… That's what he said to himself. Then what was this feeling creeping inside, eating him alive? This uneasiness he knew since he was a young boy. Things never felt right enough. It was shapeless, sometimes a hole in his lungs, sometimes a lump in his throat. But sometimes it was more bearable, being with Bokuto was definitely one of those times. His straightforward, fearless nature always amazed Akaashi. He was a star in his eyes. Too bright to look at sometimes.
Before he could realize he was in a familiar street. He found himself home once again feeling thankful. Akaashi went for a walk to clear his head but it was messier than before. He pulled out his keys, then inserted them. Like always he was ready to turn twice but with the first turn, he heard the click. Worry blossomed in his chest. It was unusual, he locked twice right? He stepped inside and welcomed with a shampoo scent. Bokuto’s shampoo. Just out of the shower. He knew it by heart.
Akaashi took his shoes off with hurry to head for the kitchen where he heard pans rustling. There he found him. His hair without his signature spikes making him look like a high schooler, a black t-shirt showing every detail his upper body and grey sweatpants. Bokuto’s eyes sparkled when he saw Akaashi. They both dashed into each other’s embrace.
“Why are you here!?”
“Why are you as wet as a drowned rat!?”
They said in unison.
Akaashi pouted. “Calling your boyfriend ‘a drowned rat’? So rude Bokuto-san.” he said, teasing. “I was out, walking. Why are you early? Weren’t you supposed to come tomorrow evening?”
Bokuto smiled, showing a little bit of his slightly crooked front teeth. “Our last day was a free day. I’ve been to Sapporo before, I know the place so I asked the coach was it okay if I left earlier. And here I am.”
Bokuto hesitated before he talked again.
“Also…” he said rubbing the back of his neck. “I know how stressful this week is for you so… I didn’t want to leave you alone.” a blush was visible on his face.
Akaashi smiled fondly. “I’m glad Koutarou. Thank you.” He felt Bokuto taking his glasses off and putting them aside as he leaned in.
It was never enough. How many years they have been together, didn’t matter. His heart still raced with excitement every time they were close. It was never enough.
Bokuto smiled into their kiss. “As much as I wanna catch up with you, you need to shower babe. You don’t wanna catch a cold, don’t ya?”
Akaashi nodded, leaving his lover’s arms unwillingly. He made his way to the bathroom with his heart beating a bit faster than normal. Excitement, he guessed.
It was probably one of the fastest showers he took in his life. He chanted to himself in the shower. He is back. He is back. He is here. I missed him. Like a prayer, thanking the deities.
When he came back to the living room, he found Bokuto staring out the window, legs curled under him. Plants around the room, greyish lights from outside indicator of the day that was about to end, soft tapping of the rain hitting windows… Akaashi never understood the term "home" in his teenage years. Every day coming home from school was a torment, after saying his goodbyes to Konoha at the corner of the street, he could feel the slight discomfort aching his chest. His parents’ side never felt like home to him. They didn’t know what was Akaashi’s favourite poem, places he wanted to visit, people he admired, nothing about who he really was.
Bokuto turned to him, his face brightening. “Keiji!” Akaashi twitched. “You should’ve seen! The guy just fell over his butt, it isn’t even raining that heavily anymore.”
“Don’t make fun of him. It could’ve been you easily and you know this.” Akaashi said as he approached the couch. He crashed on it, right next to Bokuto. Akaashi let his head fall on his shoulder.
After a moment of serenity, Bokuto gasped.
“I can’t believe you didn’t dry your hair Keiji!” he said like Akaashi committed some crime.
He sighed as he rolled his eyes. “It’s warm in here, it’ll dry in 10 minutes.”
“What if you catch a cold!? Oh no, what if you get a sinusitis? Then you'll have a headache and you can’t work properly.” He quickly got up out off the couch, heading outside.
“Is this the only time you think ahead?” Akaashi whispered to himself. He stared at the ceiling, a drop of water left his neck to trail under his sweater. He jerked with the sensation, maybe Bokuto was right.
Bokuto came back with a hairdryer. He went straight to the socket near the TV. Plugging the hairdryer with a victorious smile on his face, Akaashi watching him bewildered, wondering how can he turn such a daily act like this into a ceremony.
“Uhhh, Keiji, I think its cord is too short, c’mere. It won’t reach there.”
Akaashi whined as he got up out off the couch, already missing the comfort of it. Bokuto sat on the hardwood floor, spreading his legs, patted the space between them looking at Akaashi with his puppy eyes.
“Do you want me to sit there?”
Bokuto nodded enthusiastically.
Akaashi lowered himself, settling between Bokuto’s legs, his back to Bokuto’s front. He placed his hands on Bokuto’s knees at his sides.
“Just enjoy the ride Akaashi-kun!” Akaashi couldn’t help but chuckle, the “-kun” brought back a lot of memories.
Bokuto started drying his hair, hand going through his scalp gently. This is grea-
“Ouch, ouch, ouch!” Akaashi said as he bent over holding his ear.
Bokuto stopped with panic. “I’M SORRY KEIJI, ARE YOU OKAY???” he said half screaming.
“Yeah, yeah… I am fine. I think you should turn down the heat.”
Bokuto immediately did what’s told, saying “I’m sorry.” repeatedly. Akaashi held his hand, gazing into the dark yellow of his eyes.
“I said it’s fine Koutarou, just continue. It feels great.” He landed a little kiss on Bokuto’s lips before turning around.
Rest of the drying session went peacefully, Bokuto styling his lover’s hair with his hands, Akaashi just relaxing, focusing on the pleasant sensations.
“It’s done!”
“Thank you.” Akaashi said as he turned around to face Bokuto.
Bokuto pulled him in a silence embrace, hugging him tightly. Akaashi folded his hands behind him, resting his chin on Bokuto’s shoulder.
“I watched your game yesterday. You were splendid as always.”
“Eh, really? I thought you had lots of work to do.” Bokuto said mockingly.
Akaashi pulled away to face Bokuto, a pout on his face. “Stop making fun of me. You know I like watching you. Also, I feel like if I don’t watch you, things won't go your way."
“I’m grateful but you should take care of yourself more. Whenever your deadlines are looming, I start to get worried for you.”
Akaashi averted his eyes. He didn’t want to think about work. Not now.
Bokuto spoke hesitantly. “You can… always quit you know.”
It took Akaashi a second to process what Bokuto said.
“I can always quit? Do you understand what you are saying right, Koutarou? I studied literature just to ‘achieve my dreams’ and now here I am. Not even getting into the department. Not everyone is as lucky as you, earning money by doing what they love.”
The moment Akaashi said this, he regretted. His eyes began to sting.
“I’m sorry. I got defensive, I didn’t mean it. I’m genuinely sorry.” His chest felt so heavy. He couldn’t look Bokuto in the eye.
“No, my bad. That was inconsiderate of me. I know how you feel about this, yet I kept poking. Let’s forget about it, ‘kay?” Bokuto gave one of his smiles that only Akaashi knew. Even though Akaashi was wearing his glasses, still he saw blurry.
They kept chatting and laying around, hands intertwined. After an hour, their conversation got interrupted by a growling coming from Akaashi’s stomach.
“Keiji, you forgot to eat again.” Bokuto was oozing an ominous aura. All Akaashi could do was looking away, guilty.
Bokuto rose to his feet. “Let’s prepare something, it’s been a while since we cooked together.”
“Sorry to disappoint you but I don’t think we have anything enough to make a decent dinner.”
“Keeeeeiji, I don’t take your excuses today. We are going shopping then!” Bokuto reached out his hand to help Akaashi get up.
Akaashi gave a defeated smile as he accepted the helping hand.
Akaashi strolled through aisles. Normally he would buy some onigiri and leave but tonight was special. He and Bokuto decided to cook curry rice or in Bokuto’s words “Bokuto Special: CURRY RICE”. He picked some carrots and closed the notes app on his phone. Every ingredient for tonight’s dinner was present.
He couldn’t find Bokuto in the meat aisle where he left him. Instead, he found him crouching, looking at something Akaashi couldn’t see, with extreme focus.
“Kou, let’s go. I’m getting really hungry.”
Bokuto was still focused, not saying anything. Akaashi was surprised when he saw what Bokuto has been looking at.
“Dog food?”
“Keiji.” Bokuto with all of his seriousness. “Let’s adopt a dog.”
Akaashi sighed. “We talked about this at least a thousand times. You are mostly away because of your games and I have an ungodly schedule. Who’s going to take care of them?”
“I know, but I don’t want to accept it.” Bokuto whined loudly, the old lady at the end of the aisle turned them to understand what was going on, causing Akaashi to make a small apologizing bow.
"And you have a cat allergy! We will never have pets, won't we?" Bokuto continued.
Akaashi crouched next to Bokuto. "One day, I'll have enough time. We’ll both have. I promise."
Bokuto looked hopeful. "Really?"
"Really." Akaashi smiled sincerely. "Now, let's pay for these. I'm starving."
Bokuto was crying, bawling actually.
“Keiji please take these away from me.” He said looking away from the cutting board full of unevenly chopped onions.
“Then, you cut the chicken.”
“You know I don’t like the texture of meat, I can’t even touch it.”
“You are the worst kitchen partner Koutarou.” Akaashi said half annoyed. “Please continue chopping. The oil is going to burn. We must hurry.”
Bokuto took control of the cooking process. Even though he was whiny in the preparation side of things, he was really skilled at the actual cooking part.
While Bokuto was sautéing the onions then adding other ingredients, Akaashi cleaned the counter. The rich smell of strong spices filled the kitchen. Ginger, pepper, garlic… All of them in a harmony yet so distinctive.
Akaashi realized at some point he was sitting at the kitchen table, watching his lover skillfully mixing everything. His biceps were flexing then relaxing after every stir. His upper body was moving back and forth with the rhythm. It was truly a sight.
“Hey, hey, hey, Keiji… I thought you were lecturing me before. Who’s the worst kitchen partner now?”
“Everything’s ready. I’m just enjoying the view if you’ll let me.”
Bokuto grinned. “Permission granted.”
They enjoyed the company of each other and their surroundings. Their home was a safe harbor for both of them. A place of clarity. In days like these, Akaashi understood the term "home" a lot more. For his case it was not a place he magically found, he built it with the person he cared about the most. It was not just an 85 square meters living space; it was the pair of 5 kilogram dumbbells laid on the floor of their bedroom which Akaashi cursed every time he stumbled on them, it was the unnecessary amount of owl figurines Bokuto bought, showcased in front of their TV, photographs of their former Fukurodani teammates on the wall, the cheesy "World's Hottest Couple" trophy gifted by Yukie… Everything screamed home to him. He and Bokuto built this place, with memories and promises of the future.
The light click from the rice cooker woke Akaashi up. Bokuto turned down the stove.
“It’s ready baby, are you ready for the feast?”
“It was about time. I’m about to pass out from starvation.”
Bokuto served for both, then settled in his seat.
“Thanks for the food.”
“Thanks for the food!”
Like every other time, Bokuto waited for Akaashi's taste test before eating.
Akaashi took a bite. Even though the flavors were disguised behind the hotness, it was, without a doubt, delicious.
“It’s really good. You really are the best.”
Bokuto sparkled with joy. He put a kiss on Akaashi’s cheek before starting to eat.
They ate their food while Bokuto talked about his teammates and their antics. Akaashi always loved listening about them. They were like characters from the manga he was responsible of but real people.
After the dinner, they cleaned everything up, stored the leftover curry then put it into the refrigerator.
“Koutarou, I’m really tired. I think I am going to sleep.”
Bokuto looked surprised. “But it is only 9PM! Let’s watch something together.”
“Even if we watch something I’m probably going to pass out in the process.”
“But it is not healthy to sleep right after you eat dinner, Keiji.”
Akaashi giggled. “You are talking like you don’t know the fact that I usually sleep around 4AM, at best 2AM. I don’t think my body will find this unhealthy. If you want to stay up, it is fine.”
“Of course not, I’m coming with you. Do you think I would lose the chance of watching you sleep?”
Akaashi felt the heat rise to his cheeks, it has been years, yet he still got flustered when Bokuto was too honest.
“Okay then, let’s brush our teeth.”
They settled into the bed after changing into a more comfortable attire. Akaashi wasted no time snuggling into Bokuto. They wrapped their arms around each other.
“Today was great! I’m happy I got back earlier.”
“Yeah, I am happy too.”
Akaashi lifted his head up to face Bokuto.
“Thank you Koutarou.”
“Hm, what for?” He kissed Akaashi’s forehead.
“Everything. Especially for thinking about me, caring about me. I know how much you love spending time with Hinata-kun, yet you came back early.”
“You aren’t the only one who like to see someone in their best condition Keiji. Don’t shoulder everything.”
Akaashi was never prepared for moments like these, Bokuto being so persuasive.
Akaashi jumped into a kiss, letting his being melt under the delicate touch. Kissing him like never kissed him right before. He cupped Bokuto’s face with his hand, wanting to get closer and closer. Bokuto trailed his hand on Akaashi’s spine, memorizing every part of it.
Open-mouthed kisses, hungry touches, words said only to be heard by one… Akaashi was thankful, blessed even. Feeling someone’s heartbeat this close was foreign to many but not for him. Not for them.
“I love you.” Bokuto said breathlessly.
“I love you.” Echoed Akaashi.
They put their foreheads together, harmonizing their breaths.
“I really missed this you know.” Bokuto said chuckling.
“I can’t disagree, but I really need to sleep Koutarou.”
“No fun.” Bokuto pouted.
Akaashi gave him one last kiss. “We’ll continue tomorrow, alright? Good night.”
Bokuto gave him a smile full of empathy. “Alright. Good night, Keiji.”
Akaashi turned around, Bokuto spooning him. His mind was clear when he put his head on the pillow, finally free from days without any sleep. They will be alright.
They always had tomorrows.