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Chapter Text

ALLEGIANCES

ThunderClan:
Leader: Firestar
Deputy: Brambleclaw
Apprentice, Berrypaw
Medicine Cat: Brightheart
Warriors: Squirrelflight
Dustpelt
Apprentice, Hazelpaw
Sandstorm
Apprentice, Honeypaw
Cloudtail
Apprentice, Cinderpaw
Brackenfur
Sorreltail
Thornclaw
Apprentice, Poppypaw
Ashfur
Spiderleg
Apprentice, Mousepaw
Brook Where Small Fish Swim (Brook)
Stormfur
Whitewing
Birchfall
Graystripe
Millie
Queens: Ferncloud, mother of Foxkit and Icekit
Daisy
Elders: Longtail
Mousefur

ShadowClan:
Leader: Blackstar
Deputy: Russetfur
Medicine Cat: Littlecloud
Warriors: Oakfur
Rowanclaw
Apprentice, Ivypaw
Smokefoot
Apprentice, Owlpaw
Snowbird
Queens: Tawnypelt, mother of Flamekit, Dawnkit, and Tigerkit
Elders: Cedarheart
Tallpoppy

WindClan:
Leader: Onestar
Deputy: Ashfoot
Medicine Cats: Barkface
Apprentice, Kestrelpaw
Warriors: Tornear
Apprentice: Harepaw
Owlwhisker
Whitetail
Nightcloud
Apprentice: Heatherpaw
Weaselfur
Queens: Gorsetail, mother of Thistlekit, Sedgekit, and Swallowkit
Elders:Morningflower
Webfoot

RiverClan:
Leader: Leopardstar
Deputy: Mistyfoot
Apprentice, Dapplepaw
Medicine Cats: Mothwing
Apprentice, Willowpaw
Warriors: Blackclaw
Voletooth
Apprentice, Minnowpaw
Reedwhisker
Apprentice, Pouncepaw
Mosspelt
Apprentice, Pebblepaw
Beechfur
Rippletail
Queens: Dawnflower
Graymist, mother of Sneezekit and Mallowkit
Icewing
Elders: Swallowtail
Stonestream

Cats Outside the Clans:
Smoky
Floss
Leafpool
Crowfeather
Hollypaw
Lionpaw
Jaypaw

Chapter Text

Hollypaw stood at the border, shifting her weight nervously.

At least, she assumed it was the border. For all she knew, it was simply the scent of a few cats who had happened to be there recently.

Stop doubting yourself, she told herself nervously. It’s exactly like Crowfeather told me it would be-it’s a wall of scent. Just wait here, and make sure not to go past it, and sooner or later a patrol will show up.

But what if it was the wrong Clan, and they didn’t tell her how to get to the right Clans, or they attacked her, or even worse, it was the right Clan but they attacked her anyway without even giving her a chance?

Calm down, she told herself. She took a deep breath. They had to give her a chance, at least to talk to them. She had kin in two Clans, didn’t she?

But what if having kin in two Clans was precisely why they didn’t give her a chance? Hollypaw’s father had told her and her brothers, Lionpaw and Jaypaw, stories a friend of him had told him, about cats being imprisoned and starved and murdered because they were half-Clan and so couldn’t be trusted. Their mother, Leafpool, had glared at Crowfeather, and told Hollypaw and her brothers that that had been under the rule of the vicious Tigerstar, who was long dead and would never harm the Clans again. Then she and Crowfeather had had a whispered argument about what stories were age-appropriate for the three of them. Not an argument, Hollypaw reminded herself, a discussion.

They would let her at least talk to them, wouldn’t they? According to her parents, ThunderClan wasn’t the kind of Clan to chase her off without at least hearing her out.

Was this even ThunderClan’s border? For all she knew, it was ShadowClan’s. Crowfeather had told her what the different Clans smelled like-ThunderClan like oaks, ShadowClan like pines, RiverClan like fish, and WindClan like the moor.

She’d never even smelled the moor, and the only fish she’d ever smelled were the ones her father ate once a month, at the full moon.

Besides, this border didn’t particularly smell like any of the other scents. So maybe this was WindClan’s border. Or maybe, bringing Hollypaw back to her original worry, this was the border of some rogues, not a Clan, or maybe it wasn’t a border at all.

No, this had to be a border. She’d followed Leafpool and Crowfeather’s directions exactly. “Why do I have to go to ThunderClan first?” she’d wanted to know. “Why not WindClan?”

“Kits whose parents are from different Clans usually go to their mother’s Clan.” Leafpool had told her. “Also, ThunderClan…ThunderClan is…”

“ThunderClan’s more open than the other Clans to accepting outsiders.” Crowfeather had finished.

I’m not an outsider, Hollypaw thought now. I’m just as Clanborn as they are. It’s just my parents aren’t in the Clans anymore.

Crowfeather had brought her as close to Clan territory as he’d dared. “Follow the sun for two sunrises and you’ll be there,” he’d told her. “Either WindClan or ThunderClan is bound to accept you. If you haven’t come back in a few moons, we’ll assume one of them took you in and send Lionpaw and Jaypaw after you. You’ll be fine.”

Hollypaw was breathing fast, her paws shaking. “Come with me,” she managed to plead.

Crowfeather shook his head. “You know I can’t,” he told her. “You know the warrior code.”

Hollypaw knew the warrior code. But she also knew all the stories of Clan life her parents had told her. “They didn’t exile Graystripe,” she pointed out.
Crowfeather shook his head. “It’s not so simple. WindClan isn’t ThunderClan. You’ll understand when you get there.” He sighed. “Tell Ashfoot...tell her I love her, and I’m sorry, but I had to leave, and I hope she understands.”

“I will,” Hollypaw promised.

Crowfeather touched his nose to the tip of her ear in a rare gesture of affection. “Take care,” he said. He hesitated, then turned and started walking back the way they had come. Hollypaw stood watching him for a heartbeat, took three deep breaths, and turned to follow the sun. Neither of them looked back.

Now, waiting at what she dearly hoped was a Clan border-if it was actually ThunderClan’s or WindClan’s she’d thank StarClan forever- Hollypaw wasn’t having second thoughts. She was having what were probably two hundredth thoughts. Why, oh, why, had she agreed to this? Why hadn’t she insisted that at least one of her brothers come with her? Lionpaw would be able to protect them if they were attacked, and Jaypaw would know what herbs to use if they were injured. Hollypaw knew some herbs too, but not nearly as much as he did, and if she was injured by the Clan cats she wouldn’t be able to look after herself.

She took a step back from the probable border. She didn’t have to do this now. She could go back home, wait until she was ready, until her brothers were able to come with her, or better yet, their parents, and they could handle everything. She could-

And then the patrol arrived.

Chapter Text

When Cloudtail told Cinderpaw they were going on a hunting patrol with Brambleclaw, Berrypaw, and Whitewing, she didn't expect anything out of the ordinary to happen, unless Berrypaw spent a whole patrol not boasting about what a great hunter he was. That would be out of the ordinary. No such luck; he started almost as soon as they left the camp. Then he caught a mouse. On the plus side, that meant he couldn't keep bragging because he was carrying the mouse in his mouth. On the minus side, that meant he had proof, and Cinderpaw just knew he was going to spend the rest of the day going on and on about it. She was determined to catch something to show she was just as good of a hunter as he was, even if he was older. 

Brambleclaw caught a squirrel, and Cinderpaw had just picked up the scent of vole when Brambleclaw lifted his tail and motioned for silence. Cinderpaw opened her mouth to protest-the vole was getting away!-but Cloudtail stuck his tail in it and gently pushed her backwards. He and Whitewing stood protectively in front of her and Berrypaw, with Brambleclaw slightly in front of them. 

Cinderpaw spat out Cloudtail's tail-he twitched- and looked around. They were near the border of the outside territories now. Cinderpaw hadn't been here very often, but nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Wind rustled the leaves. Birds twittered in the trees. A squirrel-her paws ached to chase it- ran along a tree branch far above their heads.

Then she stiffened. She smelled it-the same thing the others had smelled. The scent of an unfamiliar cat wafted from behind a bush by the border. Cinderpaw opened her jaws and tasted the air. She could only smell one cat. Let's chase it off our territory!        Beside her, Berrypaw was flexing his claws. Brambleclaw touched his shoulder with his tail tip, gave his squirrel to Cloudtail, and stepped through the bush. The rest of the patrol followed.

Exactly on the border between ThunderClan and no-Clans'-land stood a young she-cat. She looked to be a little younger than Cinderpaw. Her fur was as black as the yew tree Cinderpaw and Honeypaw had climbed the other day, and her green eyes were wide and fearful. Cinderpaw had the odd feeling that they were familiar, but they couldn't be. She had never seen this cat before in her life.

Cinderpaw unsheathed her claws.                                                                                                                                                                                       

"Who are you," Brambleclaw demanded, "and what are you doing on our territory?

What? Cinderpaw blinked. This was a loner! Not even a Clan cat! They should just chase her off right now! Okay, so there was only one of her, and she looked young, and scared. They wouldn't need to hurt her, Cinderpaw reasoned, just chase her away and scare her from coming back. They didn't need to waste time talking!

The black she-cat met Brambleclaw's gaze, although Cinderpaw could see she was trembling. She answered, "I-I'm Hollypaw."

Brambleclaw, Cloudtail, and Whitewing exchanged wary glances. 

"That's a Clan name." Brambleclaw meowed slowly.

"You're a Clan?" Hollypaw's eyes lit up, and her shoulders slumped slightly in relief-only slightly, Cinderpaw noticed. "What Clan is this?"

Brambleclaw, Cloudtail, and Whitewing looked at each other again. Behind them, Cinderpaw and Berrypaw exchanged their own puzzled glances. A loner who knew of the Clans, and even seemed excited to find them? That was odd, wasn't it? And she had a Clan name...

"We are ThunderClan cats." Brambleclaw told the strange cat. "I am Brambleclaw, the deputy."

"ThunderClan." Hollypaw repeated, and then whispered something Cinderpaw couldn't hear under her breath. Apparently Cloudtail heard her, though.

"A loner thanking StarClan?" he asked suspiciously after putting the squirrel down. "And with a Clan name? Who are you?"

"I'm not a loner." Hollypaw told him, and then began speaking in a jumbled rush. "I mean, I guess technically I am, or maybe a rogue, or both, but I'm also a Clan cat, because my parents were in the Clans."

"Your parents." Brambleclaw repeated, his eyes narrowing as if he already had an inkling as to what her answer might be. "Who are..."

Hollypaw swallowed. Her eyes darted around at all of them, Brambleclaw with his strong tabby shoulders; Cloudtail, the white fur around his muzzle stained red with the squirrel's blood; Whitewing looking at her inquisitively; Berrypaw with his mouth full of dead mouse and making little growling noises in the back of his throat until Brambleclaw brushed his muzzle with his tail-tip; and Cinderpaw, who had no idea what was going on.

Hollypaw straightened and held her tail erect. She took a deep breath. "Leafpool and Crowfeather."

Leafpool and Crowfeather!

"Leafpool and Crowfeather!" Even though Cinderpaw thought Brambleclaw had had an idea to whom Hollypaw's Clanborn parents were, he still sounded stunned.

"Is Leafpool all right?" Whitewing asked. "Where is she?"

"Leafpool had kits?" Cloudtail gasped. "She's a medicine cat! Although I suppose that doesn't matter to her anymore...Is she coming back?"

"Mmf mmf mmf!" Berrypaw added through the mouse in his mouth. 

The only one who didn't say anything was Cinderpaw. She had heard of Leafpool, of course. Leafpool had been a medicine cat, her mother's friend, Squirrelflight's sister, Firestar and Sandstorm's daughter, and the apprentice of the cat Cinderpaw was named after. But she had never met her. Before Cinderpaw was born, Leafpool had disappeared at the same time as Crowfeather, the WindClan cat who had gone with Brambleclaw, Squirrelflight, and Stormfur to the sun-drown-place. No cat had seen, heard, or scented anything of them since.

Until now, apparently.

"You're Leafpool's kit?" Whitewing was asking Hollypaw. "But medicine cats can't have kits!"

Cloudtail snorted. "Medicine cats can't disappear on their Clans either, but that didn't bother her when she abandoned us, did it?" He glared at Hollypaw as if Leafpool leaving ThunderClan was all her fault. "Is she coming back?" he asked her again.

Hollypaw shook her head. "No, she-"

Cloudtail cut her off. "Then did she send you to be our medicine cat instead?" He stared at Hollypaw, almost desperately, it seemed.

"What? No." Hollypaw seemed confused. "She-"

Cloudtail interrupted her again, lashing his tail. "Then why are you here?" he demanded.

Hollypaw's eyes widened, and she took a small step back.

Cloudtail didn't seem to notice. "Why did-" he started to continue.

Whitewing brushed against him and wove around him, trying to calm him down. "It's not her fault," she told him quietly. They started whispering to each other. Cinderpaw strained her ears, but she couldn't hear what they were saying.

"Mmf mmf mmf mmf," Berrypaw told her, eyes wide.

"Yeah," Cinderpaw agreed. She'd never seen Cloudtail like that before. The closest he'd come to looking like that was whenever he and Brightheart had one of their whispered conversations. He always looked at her with that strange, desperate, look in his eyes.

"Did any other cat come with you?" Brambleclaw was asking Hollypaw.

Hollypaw shook her head. "No, they just sent me for now."

Cinderpaw wondered if Brambleclaw had noticed the "for now". Probably. He wasn't deputy for nothing, after all.

"Why did they send you?" Brambleclaw asked-not accusing, just questioning.

Hollypaw shifted her paws. "To-to join-the Clans."

Brambleclaw's face was inscrutable. "Which Clan? ThunderClan or WindClan?"

Hollypaw's tail twitched. "Well, they said that kits who-whose parents are in different Clans usually go to their mother's Clan. And also that ThunderClan is more open to taking in other cats."

"True enough." Brambleclaw meowed.

"Mmf." Berrypaw agreed. He had been a cat taken in by ThunderClan, Cinderpaw remembered.

Brambleclaw, Cloudtail, and Whitewing conferred together for a few heartbeats. Cinderpaw caught the words "Firestar," "Brightheart," and "Squirrelflight".

Then Brambleclaw flicked his tail at Hollypaw. "Come with us," he ordered. "I know some cats who will be very excited to meet you."

Chapter Text

Hollypaw felt terrified and excited all at once. This was really happening! These cats were really taking her to ThunderClan! The Clan of her mother's stories and reminisces. Leafpool had told Hollypaw and her brothers all about ThunderClan and its cats, especially her sister, Squirrelflight. Could she be one of the cats whom Brambleclaw had said would be excited to meet her? Excited was good, right? Not angry? Although that white tom had looked pretty angry. What if the rest of ThunderClan reacted like he had? And-

"I'm Cinderpaw!" the gray she-cat mewed as she bounded up beside Hollypaw, interrupting her train of thought.

"Mmf mmf mmf," the cream-colored tom with a mouse in his mouth added as he fell in on Hollypaw's other side.

"And that's Berrypaw," Cinderpaw translated. They all started following the warriors, each of whom kept looking back at Hollypaw as if they expected her to suddenly vanish.

"That's my mentor, Cloudtail," Cinderpaw told her, flicking her tail in the direction of the white tom. "Don't worry, he's not usually like that. He just- well, it's complicated. You'll see. And that's Whitewing. Cloudtail's her father. And that's Brambleclaw, the deputy, like he said."

"Mmf mmf," Berrypaw added proudly.

"He's Berrypaw's mentor," Cinderpaw told Hollypaw. "I can't believe I'm on the patrol that found you!" she went on. "Honeypaw and Poppypaw are going to be so jealous!"

"Who are Honeypaw and Poppypaw?" Hollypaw asked.

"My sisters," Cinderpaw replied. "Do you have any sisters?"

"No," Hollypaw answered. "But I have two brothers, Lionpaw and Jaypaw."

"Why didn't they come with you?" Cinderpaw asked.

Hollypaw wished they had come with her. She would feel ten times more secure if they were with her. She missed them.

She shook her head; Cinderpaw was waiting for an answer. "They wanted me to make a good impression first," she told her.

"Oh," Cinderpaw said. "And your brothers wouldn't make a good impression?"

Hollypaw shrugged. "Leafpool said Lionpaw was too aggressive and Jaypaw was too defensive. And Crowfeather said that meant they would pick a fight with anyone who looked at them the wrong way, and at least I had a chance of getting to the camp without getting my ears clawed off or clawing off somebody else's."

Cinderpaw laughed.

Laughed.

Hollypaw had expected the Clan cats to react with disapproval at best and outrage at worst at her existence, and at her parents, because they weren't supposed to be her parents. But laughter?

Cinderpaw was too young to have known Hollypaw's parents, wasn't she? Maybe that was it.

"Did you know Leafpool?" Hollypaw asked her.

Cinderpaw shook her head. "No, I was born after she left. My mother was her friend, though."

"Who's your mother?" Hollypaw asked.

"Sorreltail."

Leafpool had spoken of Sorreltail in the same wistful tone she spoke in when talking about anything to do with the Clans-her friend, a warrior, who as a kit had been poisoned with deathberries by Darkstripe, an ally of Tigerstar's, and had been expecting kits when Leafpool and Crowfeather had left. Cinderpaw was one of them, Hollypaw supposed.

"Mmf mmf mmf!" Berrypaw told her excitedly.

"What?" Hollypaw asked.

Berrypaw spoke again, attempting to speak clearly despite the mouse he was carrying in his mouth. This time his efforts were somewhat more successful. "Mmf memember Meafmool!"

"You...remember?" Cinderpaw tried. "Oh! You remember Leafpool?"

Berrypaw nodded vigorously.

"Yeah, Berrypaw and Hazelpaw and Mousepaw are a few moons older than me and my littermates," Cinderpaw informed Hollypaw. "They remember Leafpool and the badger attack and everything."

"The badger attack?" Hollypaw asked.

Cinderpaw nodded. "Yes, the one Cinderpelt died in."

Hollypaw froze. "The one Cinderpelt died in?" she echoed.

"That's what I said," Cinderpaw mewed.

"Cinderpelt's dead?" Hollypaw whispered.

"Yeees," Cinderpaw said slowly.

Berrypaw looked at Hollypaw quizzically. "Mmf mmf," he put in, but Hollypaw wasn't paying any attention to him.

Leafpool talked about Cinderpelt all the time. She had been her mentor, had taught her everything she knew about herbs and healing. She had originally been a warrior apprentice, training under Firestar, Leafpool's father, but a monster had hit her, crippling her leg. She had then been mentored by Yellowfang, and become ThunderClan's medicine cat. She had interpreted several signs and prophecies from StarClan, including the fire-and-tiger one. She had found out about Leafpool and Crowfeather, but hadn't told the rest of the Clan. She and Leafpool had been very close, at least before Leafpool left.

"Tell Cinderpelt I'm sorry," Leafpool had requested of Hollypaw. "Ask her if she could please understand-or at least try to understand-it's not that I didn't want to be a medicine cat. I did; I still do. But I just....She was going to be a warrior. She knows what it's like to wish things could be different. Tell her....Just tell her all that, I guess. Tell her I love her."

And now Cinderpelt was dead. Leafpool was going to be devastated.

"So who's the medicine cat now?" she asked Cinderpaw.

Cinderpaw and Berrypaw looked at each other. "After Cinderpelt died," Cinderpaw told her, "-I'm named after her, you know, she was my father's sister and she died protecting my mother from a badger- anyway, after she died, Firestar sent out patrols looking for Leafpool. But they never found her. So Brightheart became our medicine cat instead."

Hollypaw knew about Brightheart. As an apprentice, she had lost an eye and an ear to the vicious pack of dogs lured into the forest by Tigerstar. She had spent a long time recovering in the medicine den, and had been given the name Lostface by Bluestar, but Firestar had changed it to Brightheart. She had later become mates with....

Oh.

Hollypaw's stomach fell down to her toes. "She's Cloudtail's mate," she whispered.

"Well, she used to be," Cinderpaw replied.

"And now she's the medicine cat..." Hollypaw said slowly, putting the pieces together.

"Right," Cinderpaw continued. "She knew a lot about herbs and stuff, so cats started coming to her to treat them. It wasn't like there was an official ceremony making her the medicine cat-it just sort of happened. Barkface from WindClan came over to teach her whatever she didn't know, and-" Cinderpaw shrugged-"now she's our medicine cat."

"But she and Cloudtail..." Hollypaw started.

"They used to be mates," Cinderpaw told her. "But now they aren't anymore, because she's a medicine cat, and medicine cats can't have mates or kits. Er, except, um, for your, uh, for Leafpool. Cloudtail's probably hoping Leafpool sent you to be the medicine cat instead. Were you sent to be the medicine cat instead?"

"No!" Hollypaw's heartbeat sped up. Was she supposed to be the next medicine cat? "I mean, I don't...." She needed to think. This was a lot to absorb.

"Mmf mmf mmf mmf mmf mmf mmf?" Berrypaw asked Cinderpaw. "Mmf mmf mfmf mmf mmfm mmf mmf!" 

"For StarClan's sake, Berrypaw," Cinderpaw snapped exasperatedly, "put the mouse down and talk like a normal cat!"

Berrypaw put the mouse down. "What I said," he said, sounding affronted, "was, 'How do you know all of that? You were only a tiny kit then!' I mean," he went on, "you were barely born then, but I was apprenticed right before Barkface left!" 

"I actually listen to what the elders tell us," Cinderpaw informed him archly, and then added, "Plus also sometimes I eavesdrop on the warriors. It's the only way to find out anything interesting."

Berrypaw nodded in agreement. "They never tell us anything!"

There was a yowl from in front of them. "Come on!" Brambleclaw called.

Hollypaw realized that while they had been talking they had stopped walking. Oops, she thought, as the three young cats hurried to catch up. Not a good first impression to make...

They reached a sandy hollow, empty of any roots or plants.

"Wait here," Brambleclaw told Hollypaw. "You two-" he nodded at Cinderpaw and Berrypaw-"stay with her."

With a flick of his tail, he beckoned the other warriors to follow him. Whitewing took Berrypaw's mouse, and Cloudtail gave Hollypaw one last penetrating look. Then they followed Brambleclaw into the bushes, leaving Cinderpaw, Berrypaw, and Hollypaw alone in the empty hollow.

"This is the training hollow," Cinderpaw told Hollypaw. "It's where our mentors teach us battle moves, and we practice them. Do you know any battle moves?"

"Of course," Hollypaw replied; did she think she was a kittypet? "My father taught me."

"So they'd be WindClan moves." Cinderpaw mused.

Hollypaw shifted her paws uncomfortably.

"Hey," Berrypaw suddenly meowed to her, "are we supposed to be guarding you? I've never guarded anyone before. Cool."

Cinderpaw rolled her eyes.

Hollypaw began to pace back and forth. Now that she was so close to meeting the rest of ThunderClan, she was even more nervous than before, if that was possible. Sure, Berrypaw and Cinderpaw seemed all right with her existence, but if Cloudtail's reaction was any indication, the rest of the Clan wouldn't be, and given what she had just learned about Cinderpelt and Brightheart, she couldn't entirely blame them. Whitewing hadn't seemed to blame her, though. Not that she'd said much. But what about the rest of the Clan? Didn't Brightheart have littermates? What if they all hated Leafpool now? What if they wanted Hollypaw to be the medicine cat instead of Brightheart? Did she want to be the medicine cat? She knew some herbs from Leafpool, but she liked hunting too. What if ThunderClan didn't accept her and she had to leave? What would she tell her parents and her brothers? They'd be so disappointed in her. Would she go to WindClan? What if they didn't accept her either, despite Crowfeather's mother being the deputy? What-

Hollypaw was startled out of her increasingly panicked thoughts by a yowl from the slope above the hollow. She looked up in time to see a glimpse of ginger fur vanishing into the bushes, heading straight toward them.

"Who is that?" Hollypaw whispered.

Cinderpaw, who apparently had gotten a clearer view than Hollypaw had, not to mention had the advantage of knowing all the cats in this territory since birth, replied, "Squirrelflight."  

Chapter Text

Squirrelflight shot out of the bushes and skidded to a halt barely a mouse-length in front of Hollypaw.

"Is it true?" the ginger she-cat demanded. "Brambleclaw said you're Leafpool's kit. Is it true? Why are you here? Did Leafpool send you? Is any other cat with you? Is Leafpool with you?"

She looked wildly around, as if expecting Leafpool to pop out from behind a nearby bush or something.

"I-" Hollypaw wasn't sure what to say.

This was Squirrelflight, her mother's beloved and only sister. Hardly a day went by that Leafpool didn't mention her name, from casual mentions like "I think Squirrelflight would like this," or "I wonder what Squirrelflight would say," to the stories she, or occasionally Crowfeather if the story was about traveling to and from the sun-drown-place, would tell, to the times Leafpool and Crowfeather sat and talked with each other for hours, each looking heartbroken for the life they'd left behind, to the times Leafpool cried out her sister's name in her sleep. Squirrelflight was almost a legend to Hollypaw, Lionpaw, and Jaypaw. And now she was standing right here, her green gaze burning into Hollypaw's.

"Well?" Squirrelflight demanded.

What had her last question been? "No- nobody's with me," Hollypaw managed. "They just sent me."

Squirrelflight's tail drooped. Then she took a deep breath and began pacing around and around Hollypaw, sniffing. She was exactly as Leafpool had described her-ginger fur the color of flame, bright green eyes, very energetic. 

When Squirrelflight has an opinion or makes a decision about something, Leafpool had said, nothing in the whole forest can convince her to change it.

Hollypaw wondered what decision Squirrelflight would make about her.

"You don't look much like Leafpool," Squirrelflight mused, finally facing her niece. "You look more like Crowfeather, although your fur is darker. But your eyes are the same shade of green as Sandstorm's."

"So that's why she looked familiar!" Hollypaw heard Cinderpaw exclaim behind her. She'd almost forgotten the other two apprentices were there.

Squirrelflight turned toward them. "And what are you two doing here?"

"Brambleclaw said we should stay with Hollypaw," Cinderpaw replied.

"Well, I'm here now," Squirrelflight informed her. "You can go. Both of you," she added, nodding at Berrypaw. He looked crestfallen.

"But I want to see what's going on!" the cream-colored tom protested.

"We," Cinderpaw corrected.

"What?" Berrypaw asked.

"We want to see what's going on."

"Oh, yeah."

"Go to camp now," Squirrelflight interrupted them. "You can see what's going on there. Both of you." She waved her tail at them. "Go. Now."

Cinderpaw and Berrypaw exchanged glances. Then Cinderpaw meowed, "Okay. Bye!"-that last to Hollypaw-and both of them ran off in the same direction Squirrelflight had come from.

"And don't go telling the entire Clan about Hollypaw!" Squirrelflight yowled after them. "That's an order!"

"I love being a warrior," Squirrelflight confided to Hollypaw. "I get to give orders to the apprentices. Whether they'll actually listen is another matter, but it's the principle of the thing."

"I guess," Hollypaw muttered. She wondered why Squirrelflight hadn't wanted Cinderpaw and Berrypaw to tell ThunderClan about her. Then again, it had been hard enough facing one patrol. She really didn't want to face the whole Clan at once, especially if two of them were Cloudtail and Brightheart. Maybe Brambleclaw was breaking the news of her existence slowly, so he'd only told Squirrelflight. Crowfeather had said that her and her brother's existence would be a big shock, especially to ThunderClan and WindClan, the two Clans concerned in her parents...situation. 

After all, Crowfeather's voice murmured in her mind, they probably never expected to hear from us again.

"Now," Squirrelflight continued, looking at Hollypaw in the same way she had before, her green eyes burning, "how is Leafpool?"

"She's fine," Hollypaw replied.

"Where is she?" Squirrelflight demanded.

"She's back...where we live," Hollypaw said.

Squirrelflight's eyes bored into her. "And where is that?"

Hollypaw looked away. "I'm not supposed to say."

"Why not?"

"They-both of them-they don't want you finding them."

"Meaning ThunderClan and WindClan, or specifically me?"

"All of you, I guess."

"And I suppose nothing I say will convince you to tell me where she is?"

"Um. No." After a moment, Hollypaw added, "Sorry." Squirrelflight was Leafpool's sister, after all, and perhaps one day StarClan would will it so that the two of them could meet again, or at least that was what Leafpool had said. But not right now, when Hollypaw hadn't even met most of ThunderClan yet and had no idea if they would accept her or not. 

Squirrelflight sighed. "You remind me of Leafpool."

Hollypaw's ears twitched. She was confused. "You said I didn't look like her."

"Not in looks," Squirrelflight amended. "But Leafpool is very good at keeping secrets. You know about the journey to the sun-drown-place?"

Hollypaw nodded. "Crowfeather told us stories about it."

"Us?"

"Me and my brothers. Lionpaw and Jaypaw."

Squirrelflight nodded, filing this information away for later. "We hadn't told any cat that we were leaving. The only cat who knew where we were going, and why, was Leafpool. And she didn't say a word about it to any cat the entire time. And...well, she kept Crowfeather a secret too. Leafpool is very good at keeping secrets," she meowed again. She looked Hollypaw in the eye. "And so am I."

Before Hollypaw could think of what to answer, the bushes rustled and two ginger cats walked out of them. One tom, and one she-cat. The she-cat had ginger fur, paler than Squirrelflight's and her companion's, and eyes the same shade of green as Hollypaw's. The tom had blazing ginger fur and bright green eyes. He was the spitting image of Squirrelflight.

Actually, Hollypaw realized, Squirrelflight was the spitting image of him.

Because she had realized who these cats were. They matched Leafpool's descriptions exactly.

"Hollypaw," Squirrelflight started,"this is my father, Firestar, ThunderClan's leader, and my mother, Sandstorm. Sandstorm, Firestar, this is Hollypaw, Leafpool's kit."

Chapter Text

Sandstorm rushed forward and began to step around Hollypaw, circling her and sniffing, just like Squirrelflight had done. Firestar, meanwhile, stood staring at Hollypaw like he could not quite believe his eyes, his mouth slightly open, before regaining control of himself; he shook his head once and walked over to Squirrelflight.

Hollypaw's gaze flitted back and forth between the ThunderClan leader and his mate. Leafpool had told so many stories of her parents. Firestar, the kittypet-turned-Clan leader, who had proved his detractors wrong time and again, who had discovered and proved the evil Tigerstar's treason, who had been chosen as deputy and become Clan leader against all odds, who had killed the leader of BloodClan in a savage, desperate battle, yet who also would give food to other Clans in need and even trained his archenemy's son as his own apprentice-who had later become mates with his own daughter. That had been interesting, according to Leafpool. 

("I bet not as interesting as when Squirrelflight's sister took a mate," Jaypaw had noted once, but not within earshot of either of their parents.)

Even Crowfeather had a story to tell of Firestar: how, as a young warrior, he and his best friend and future deputy, the now-lost Graystripe, had traveled beyond the moor to tell WindClan that Brokenstar had been deposed and it was safe to return to their home after the former ShadowClan leader had chased them from their own territory.

And there was Sandstorm, who stood against him and then with him, courageous and determined, never giving up in the quest to discover the truth about her father's death and avenge him, standing by Firestar and turning him on to the right path.

According to Leafpool, Firestar and Sandstorm had never been anything but loving parents to her and Squirrelflight.

Sure, they'd argued sometimes. What family didn't? Hollypaw remembered a rather memorable argument between Crowfeather, Lionpaw, and Jaypaw a couple of moons ago that had ended in loud huffs and stomps (Lionpaw), disgruntled mutterings (Crowfeather), and silent treatments (Jaypaw). But overall, Leafpool had been part of a happy little peaceful family.

So she says, Hollypaw imagined Jaypaw saying in the back of her mind.

How would we know? Lionpaw's voice agreed.

Either way, all that had been before their daughter the medicine cat-the only medicine cat, now, and hadn't Cinderpelt been Firestar's first apprentice?-had run away with her mate from another Clan.

Well, they forgave Squirrelflight for running away to the sun-drown-place, Lionpaw pointed out.

Yeah, but Squirrelflight came back, Jaypaw rejoined.

Hollypaw shook her head and realized all three ginger cats were staring at her.

Sandstorm spoke first. "You're really Leafpool's kit?" she asked, in a voice tinged with awe.

Not trusting herself to speak, Hollypaw nodded.

Squirrelflight jumped in. "She says her name is Hollypaw and she has two brothers and she's here by herself-" Firestar's and Sandstorm's tails both drooped-"and that Leafpool's fine but doesn't want anyone to know where she is, even m-us." She took a deep breath.

Firestar spoke, looking with wonder-and there was something else in his eyes-was that trepidation?-at this kin of his kin he had not known existed until now. "None of the patrols sent to look for Leafpool ever found her; there were a few traces, but her scent was lost within two sunrises of travel from here, as were any shed strands of her fur, any paw-prints...It was like she'd vanished into thin air." His eyes were shadowed. "We had feared her..."

"But she wasn't dead." Squirrelflight's voice was a mixture of vindication and overwhelming relief, the same kind of relief that had been in Leafpool's voice one time when Hollypaw was a kit and Crowfeather had fallen into the river he'd been trying to fish from, bumping his head on a rock that was part of the riverbank. It had been the full moon (it always was, when her father fished, and he was always in a melancholy mood then too) and its silver rays had illuminated their father, underwater, a dark stain clouding up from the back of his head as his paws moved weakly, his head injury half-stunning him.

For a moment, the three of them had been frozen, transfixed with horror.

Then their mother had jumped in the river with a surprisingly quiet splash, and time started moving again.

Leafpool hauled Crowfeather out of the water with her claws and teeth, shoved him onto his back, and began banging his chest with her forepaws. Hollykit and Lionkit and Jaykit rushed forward, clustering against their mother's warm fur as she pumped his chest, her normally peaceful face set in a snarl of determination; she only ceased when Crowfeather stirred, spit out some water, and began to mumble, "Wha? Ge'off me! I'm fine, I'm fine!"

Leafpool ordered Crowfeather to lie down but stay awake, and told the three kits to lay on him to warm him up.

She told Crowfeather that he had been underwater for only a few moments, and it hadn't been that cold(or at least compared to some other water temperatures), and the water inside him had come out easily; he'd scarcely swallowed any. Normally she would just make sure he was warm and dry, send him off to rest, and keep an eye on him for a day or so to make sure he wasn't in shock or still hadn't coughed up all of the water.

But he'd hit his head, and it was bleeding; head injuries could be dangerous, which was why Crowfeather would be spending the next two days resting and recuperating inside the den.

Yes, the next two days.

Yes, she was serious.

The next two full days, starting tomorrow morning, not now.

No, there wasn't some kind of magic herb she could give him to heal him instantly. It didn't work that way.

He had just fallen in a river and hit his head-he did not feel fine and if he just ran around as usual he most certainly would not be!

She would be able to hunt a couple of mice or squirrels herself, thank you very much.

No, not one day. Two days. Three days if he kept complaining like this.

It was for his own good.

Yes, she knew he hated that phrase.

And the kits would be keeping an eye on him to make sure he listened to her instructions.

Yes, (and here Leafpool's tone softened) she knew he hadn't been able to catch a fish. He wouldn't be able to catch one tonight.

He'd just been hit on the head, for StarClan's sake-did he want to fall in again?

Leafpool had never quite picked up the hang of fishing, despite Crowfeather's attempted lessons, and either way, she was needed her to look after him and the kits(who were far too young in any case and had never been taught even the rudiments of fishing!).

He would have to fish again once he was well-see, he was shivering!

She would understand.

Hollykit didn't know who "she" was, and neither did Lionkit or Jaykit, although Jaykit's face was tilted in the direction of their father, his eyes wide and his ears pricked, as though he could actually see him. 

But the whole time, Leafpool's voice had sounded just like Squirrelflight's did now, and it wasn't simply because they were sisters. Their voices had the same tone of overhelmed, disbelieving relief, as if they were so, so glad about something but could barely believe it had happened. 

"For a moment, I was sure you were joining StarClan," Leafpool had told Crowfeather, her normally serene voice trembling with relief, with fear, with love, with incredulity.

("Assuming StarClan would have me," Crowfeather muttered later, when Hollykit was supposed to be sleeping.)

"I told you Leafpool wasn't dead," Squirrelflight said now, sounding exactly like Leafpool had then. "I knew it."

Firestar's green eyes burned. "How is Leafpool?"

Hollypaw's tongue felt dry. "She-she's fine." She took a deep breath. "She said to tell you-all of you-" She looked at these three ginger cats who looked nothing like her (or Leafpool) yet were her kin. "She loves you, she really does. And she said to tell you she's sorry, but she couldn't go on like she was-hiding, lying to everyone. So she left. But she's fine, and she wishes things could be different, and she said- she asks your forgiveness." All this tumbled out of Hollypaw's mouth in a rush, as though Leafpool's message had been waiting and waiting to reach the ears of her family and couldn't wait any longer. 

"Also," Hollypaw felt the need to defend her absent mother, "she doesn't know that Cinderpelt is dead." Firestar winced. "She thinks she's fine-she gave me a message for her and everything. If she'd known that she was dead she would have come back to help." Wouldn't she have? Her heart, pounding, began to slow.  

Sandstorm and Squirrelflight leaned against each other. Firestar nodded once.

"Leafpool and...Crowfeather," the ThunderClan leader said slowly, "sent you to join ThunderClan?"

She nodded.

"Why specifically ThunderClan?"

"Why not specifically ThunderClan?" Squirrelflight retorted, but Firestar ignored her, his gaze intent on Hollypaw.

She chose the simplest explanation. "They said kits usually go to the mother's Clan." Firestar and Sandstorm shared a glance. Unsure of what it meant, Hollypaw forged on. "But if it didn't-work out- I was supposed to go to WindClan and see what they said."

From the look on Squirrelflight's face, Leafpool's sister really wanted it to work out.

So did Hollypaw. She wanted to get to know the kin she had only heard about in stories until now. 

Also, she didn't want to have to go through all this again with another Clan-a Clan in which her father didn't have a close littermate (or any littermates) in, or a father who was the Clan leader. Although his mother was WindClan's deputy, so there was that.

"Squirrelflight said you had two brothers?" Firestar queried.

"Yes-Lionpaw and Jaypaw."

"Why did you come alone?"

Hollypaw gave essentially the same answer she had given Cinderpaw: "Leafpool and Crowfeather thought I would make the best first impression."

"So," Sandstorm said, her wide eyes and stiff tail betraying her emotions, "what about them? Are they just going to live...wherever you've been living until now..." From the look the three ginger cats shared, that topic obviously wasn't over."...forever?"

Hollypaw shook her head; Sandstorm had gotten right to the crux of the matter. "No. They want all of us to have the chance to be part of a Clan. They said that if they didn't hear from me within a few moons they would assume things went well and send them after me."

Squirrelflight looked as though she wanted to say something but didn't. Uneasily, Hollypaw thought of those stories of her father's. 

On the one paw, this wasn't as bad as her worst imaginings had been.

On the other paw, this wasn't as good as her best imaginings had been either.

You imagine too much, Jaypaw decided from the back of her head.

"So," Squirrelflight said to Firestar, "You're going to let her join ThunderClan, right?"

Relief, cool and sudden, coursed through Hollypaw's veins, making her legs wobble. They were going to let her in. She wouldn't have to prove herself(not yet, at least); they weren't rejecting her out of paw. They were going to let her in, and she wasn't going to disappoint her mother.

"Well," Firestar began, then hesitated. "The thing is-"

Sandstorm and Squirrelflight turned on Firestar with identical expressions of outrage, and in that moment Hollypaw knew that while Squirrelflight may have looked exactly like her father, she had inherited her temper entirely from her mother.

"Don't you dare-"

"What do you-"

"Leafpool's kit-"

"You can't-"

"You have to-"

"We have to-"

"Leafpool-"

"Leafpool-"

"Leafpool-"

Firestar raised his tail-for silence, Hollypaw realized. That was a signal, one she would learn if she was part of a real Clan.

Firestar waved his tail between Sandstorm and Squirrelflight, brushing their muzzles, until they stopped tripping their words over each other's in their fury and simply glared at him.

Hollypaw was warmed, excited, and relieved all at once by the ardent support of her mother's kin-her kin- for her. Maybe this would go smoothly after all.

Assuming Firestar agreed to let her join ThunderClan, of course.

"I have every intention of allowing Hollypaw to join the Clan," Firestar assured his family. "And her brothers when they come. They are Leafpool's kits."

Sandstorm's and Squirrelflight's bristling fur relaxed.

Hollypaw hadn't realized how tense she'd been until Firestar said those words.

"I just...Well, for one thing," Firestar continued, looking as though he did not want to go on but speaking anyway since it was his duty, "medicine cats are forbidden from having kits. You know that?" he asked Hollypaw, who nodded. "The last time a-"

"The last time?" Squirrelflight interrupted. "Other medicine cats have had kits before?"

Firestar shook his head. "No...No, of course not."

Sandstorm looked at him suspiciously. 

"On the other paw," Firestar mused, "I can't reasonably be expected to turn away my own daughter's kit, now can I?"

"Some cats would expect it," Sandstorm muttered. "StarClan knows what Longtail will say."

Squirrelflight bared her teeth.

"Not to mention," Sandstorm went on to Hollypaw, "you're half WindClan, so WindClan might claim you, which could lead to a battle-"

Hollypaw blinked. It could?

Squirrelflight hissed. "Over my dead body."

Sandstorm flicked Squirrelflight with her tail. "Don't speak like that," she chided her daughter. "Especially in front of apprentices. I was going to finish by saying 'which we won't let happen.'"

Hollypaw blinked again.

"Unless you want to join WindClan, of course." Sandstorm concluded. "You do have kin there."

"Ashfoot," Hollypaw said. "I have a message from her too."

"Well," Sandstorm said, "you'll probably meet her at some point, even if it's just at a Gathering...You can give it to her then."   

"But not today," Firestar said. "Today, and the next few days, is the time you will need to adjust to ThunderClan-and, to be honest, for ThunderClan to adjust to you."

Hollypaw's heart was beating very fast again, ba-boom, ba-boom. 

Wow, someone's nervous, Lionpaw remarked, but Hollypaw ignored him. When she spoke she could hardly find her voice. "Are you saying..."

Firestar's eyes were unreadable. "You do want to join ThunderClan, yes?" He suddenly looked slightly nervous.

Hollypaw nodded.

"This will not be easy," Firestar warned her. "There have been half-Clan cats before, but never the half-Clan kit of a medicine cat. Some cats may welcome you, but not every cat's reaction will be like you and Leafpool may have hoped. But I know I speak for myself and Sandstorm and Squirrelflight when I tell you-" He dipped his head and very lightly touched noses with Hollypaw. She shivered. "Welcome to ThunderClan."

Chapter Text

Was this impulsive? Yes.

Should this perhaps have been discussed with other cats before making a final decision? Possibly.

Was this risky? Yes. After all, who knew what the final outcome would be?

Would there be an uproar? Yes.

Would there be outrage, both from without and within his Clan? Yes.

Sandstorm and Squirrelflight were on his side, Firestar knew. Brambleclaw probably would be too-as deputy, it was his duty to support his leader. Not to mention that he was Squirrelflight's mate.

Graystripe would stand by Firestar, of course. Especially considering his history.

Longtail and Mousefur were sticklers for the warrior code; they'd certainly given him a hard enough time.

Ferncloud was kindhearted and motherly.

Stormfur certainly wouldn't shun her.

Brook, Millie, and Daisy probably wouldn't see what all the fuss was.

Cloudtail, Brightheart, and Whitewing...Firestar sighed. There would be a problem there, and he didn't blame them.

Cloudtail and Whitewing had used to have a good relationship with their kin, Leafpool and Squirrelflight. Then Leafpool had disappeared with Crowfeather, and Cinderpelt had been killed, and Brightheart had been forced to be medicine cat in their stead.

The situation pained Firestar, pained all the Clan. Brightheart had had a mate, a daughter. She shouldn't have to do this. But the Clan needed a medicine cat, and Brightheart was the closest to one that they had.

Brightheart blamed no one. She quietly, if sorrowfully, did her duty with no complaints-although she hadn't had the full training that every medicine cat should have, and Firestar thanked StarClan that there had been no medical emergencies out of the ordinary since Cinderpelt's death.

Whitewing was unhappy about it, but it was mostly due to her that Brightheart hadn't given up in the first moon. She often offered to help out her mother, and Brightheart seemed to light up whenever she saw her.

Cloudtail was furious on Brightheart's behalf. He greatly resented Leafpool for leaving, even though Cinderpelt had been alive at the time, and to be honest, Firestar didn't blame him.

Cloudtail also partially blamed Squirrelflight, feeling that Leafpool's only sister should have realized Leafpool was going to leave and done something about it. Squirrelflight, for her part, had not appreciated Cloudtail's tirade against her when they all realized what Brightheart's role must now be. She and Cloudtail were now on speaking terms again, but their relationship was icily cordial.

Whitewing, like Brightheart, didn't blame anyone for the situation her mother was now in. Anyone in the Clan, at least. Would she blame Leafpool? Now that they knew for certain that Leafpool was alive and well? Firestar didn't know.

Was Firestar angry at Leafpool?

Yes.

In fairness, she couldn't have known what would happen after she left. She had probably thought that Cinderpelt would train another apprentice, and life in the forest would go on more or less as usual. She couldn't have known...

None of them had known.

But Leafpool was a medicine cat. She had a duty.

Firestar, Sandstorm, and Squirrelflight had missed her, grieved for her, feared her dead, blamed themselves.

And now they had living proof that she was alive and well, in the form of her daughter.

But Leafpool didn't want them to find her, she said. She wanted to be left alone.

His own daughter didn't want to see him. It felt like a claw scoring his heart.

At least she was alive and well. And maybe the three of them could convince Hollypaw to tell them where she'd been living, And if not, at least he could get to know his granddaughter.

His granddaughter, the kin of his kin.

His granddaughter, who broke the warrior code twice over just be existing.

Surely this was linked to Skywatcher's prophecy?

Yet despite knowing the upheaval this would bring to his Clan-and that was without factoring in Skywatcher's prophecy. Great StarClan-he couldn't turn her away.

Even with Skywatcher's ominous prophecy ringing in his ears.

Even with the knowledge of what had happened the only other time a medicine cat had dared to defy StarClan and bear kits.

He could almost hear Yellowfang's voice now. "My punishment wasn't that the other two died. It was that this one survived!"

Firestar shuddered. What punishment did StarClan have in store for Leafpool?

He thought he had understood Yellowfang's pain and decisions, but he realized now that he hadn't at all. Only now did he really perceive a tiny inkling of what the old she-cat had gone through-knowing it was wrong, knowing there would be ramifications from this, and yet allowing this kit of a medicine cat entry into his Clan because of love for his kit.

The other Clans were going to have a field day with this. Blackstar would seize any opportunity to undermine ThunderClan-it had been bad enough in the moons after Leafpool and Crowfeather's flight from the Clans.

He wasn't sure of Leopardstar, but she'd seemed distracted recently. Mistyfoot, at least, being halfClan herself, wouldn't disparage Hollypaw for her birth. Well, for being half-Clan, anyway. Hollypaw was also the kit of a medicine cat...

As for WindClan? Once, Onestar would have supported him. Now he was not so sure. Things had changed...

Hollypaw was half WindClan, which meant that WindClan had as equal a claim on her as ThunderClan did. And it wasn't as if her kin was some random warrior-her father's mother was WindClan's deputy.

Firestar hoped the matter could be resolved peacefully.

Then again, Hollypaw was also the kit of a medicine cat, so Onestar might decide to have nothing to do with the matter.

There would be a fuss and a protest. Other cats wouldn't like it.

But if their missing daugher's kit had turned up at the border, never mind her parentage-would they have done any different?

Chapter Text

The ThunderClan camp was big, and crowded.

That was Hollypaw's first impression of it. She and the other cats-Firestar in front, Squirrelflight and Sandstorm clustered close on either side of her-walked through a tunnel between the bushes, lined by thorns in a way that didn't seem natural.

They stepped out into a large hollow.

The tunnel had sloped gently downhill, and she knew from Leafpool that the ThunderClan camp was in a sandy, rocky hollow, as if some giant monster had clawed earth and stone straight out of the ground, leaving a space deep and big enough for cats to live in.

The hollow wall near the tunnel wasn't too high. If a cat fell off of it, he or she would probably only get a few bruises-come to think of it, hadn't that happened to Squirrelflight once, when she'd first discovered the stone hollow? Funnily enough, it had always been Crowfeather who enjoyed telling that story.

But further on, the sides of the hollow-the cliffs-there was no other word for it-rose and rose, until, at the point furthest away from the thorn tunnel, they were so high that if a cat fell from there, it would mean almost certain death. Hollypaw shivered.

The floor of the hollow was made up of warm, sandy earth, with bits of moss and weeds occasionally poking through.

Several large bushes were strategically placed around the camp. The largest one, to Hollypaw's right, smelled like-well, like a lot of cats all at once. It was confusing. If Squirrelflight's scent was among them, Hollypaw doubted she'd be able to identify it. There were just too many, all tangled up with each other. The sound of rapid murmuring came from inside that den. Hollypaw wondered how many cats were inside it.

A little further on, to her left, was another, smaller bush. It had only a few scents around it. As Hollypaw eyed it, a few leaves near the bottom rustled and a little white head poked out.

Hollypaw's eyes widened. She had never seen a kit before. She'd met other rogues and loners before, of course, but none as young as this.

The kit had white fur and pretty, dark blue eyes. As Hollypaw watched, the kit's eyes widened when she saw her, and she squeaked excitedly and turned right back around, saying, "Ferncloud! There's-" before the bush muffled the rest of her words entirely.

Ferncloud. Hollypaw knew that name. Ferncloud was a very kind nursery queen, the mate of Leafpool's sister's mentor, who had had two litters of five kits total and lost three of them when the Twolegs came-Hollykit and Larchkit to the lack of food caused by the monsters chasing away all the prey(she'd never asked, but she'd always wondered if she'd been named after Hollykit)and Shrewpaw, a friend of Leafpool and Squirrelflight, to the paws of the monsters themselves. Apparently Ferncloud had a new litter now.

Near the middle of the clearing was a small pile of dead animals-two mice, a squirrel, a bird she couldn't identify at this distance.

Leafpool and Crowfeather had always had the habit of dropping their just-caught prey in a pile for everyone to take from. Even if it was just the five of them. Even though it would be much more expeditious to just bring your prey over to wherever you wanted to eat and eat it instead of having to go back for it. And even if some traveling loners were staying with them-one or two extra cats didn't make a Clan! Why keep the prey in a pile right out in the open? Vultures might be attracted to it. Or maggots. What if it started rotting?

But it was a Clan thing, apparently, and some habits were hard to get rid of. And Hollypaw had to admit that the fresh-kill pile here wasn't covered in bugs or anything.

On the opposite side of the camp was a pile of rocks leading up to a ledge sticking out of the cliff.

And filling the hollow, poking their heads out of the dens, were cats, more cats than Hollypaw had ever seen in her life. She lost track after twelve. There were so many, with different shades of gray and brown and black fur.

And all of them were staring at her.

Squirrelflight stepped in front of Hollypaw and glared at everyone.

To the side, near the beige wall of the hollow, Hollypaw spotted Cinderpaw and Berrypaw talking to a few other cats about their age, as well as several warriors. Their audience seemed to be listening eagerly. With a sinking feeling, Hollypaw guessed at their topic of conversation.

Firestar had a distant look on his face. He began to weave his way through the crowd of cats, ignoring those who called out to him.

Hollypaw's pulse began to beat faster. This was a bad idea this was a bad idea what was I thinking I shouldn't have agreed to this I should never have crossed the border....

"Don't worry," Sandstorm whispered. "It'll be fine."

"Or else," Squirrelflight added.

Firestar reached the rockpile and began leaping up it without even looking where he was putting his paws; he'd obviously done this many times before. He reached the ledge, took a deep breath, and yowled, "Let all cats old enough to catch their own prey join here beneath the Highledge for a Clan meeting!"

This seemed slightly unnecessary to Hollypaw, as what looked like the whole Clan was already gathered below the Highledge. Even the kit she had seen before, who certainly wasn't old enough to catch her own prey, was there, next to a reddish tom-kit the same age as her and a gray she-cat whom Hollypaw assumed was their mother, Ferncloud. A brown tom joined them.

"Cats of ThunderClan," Fireistar began. He hesitated for a moment, looking unsure. Well, it was too late now. "You all remember Leafpool."

If it was possible, the atmosphere in the camp became even more tense. A few cats in the back started to whisper to each other.

"I don't!" the reddish tom-kit piped up.

"Hush!" his father growled.

Hollypaw could feel the gazes of all the Clan on her, prickling her pelt. They must have been wondering what this strange intruder in their midst had to do with Leafpool. Perhaps some of them, especially the ones who had heard what Berrypaw and Cinderpaw had to say, had already figured it out.

Firestar then proceeded to do exactly what Hollypaw had been hoping for him not to do, although in fairness, she could't see how he could have presented her to the Clan without drawing attention to her.

Did he have to present her to the Clan? Couldn't she just sort of sidle in unnoticed? Hollypaw fantasied just sneaking in and taking part of Clan life like she'd always been there. But no. If the reactions she'd received so far were any indication, there was no way she'd go unnoticed.

Also, Clan cats were very big on their ceremonies. Crowfeather had scoffed, and Leafpool had been matter-of-fact, but there had always been a slight wistful tone underlying both their words.

Firestar pointed his tail at Hollypaw and said, "This is Hollypaw, Leafpool's kit. She will be joining-"

The moment's stunned silence that had followed his announcement was broken with such an uproar that Hollypaw had to resist the urge to cover her ears with her paws. She pressed closer to Sandstorm and Squirrelflight. They don't want me here...

"Leafpool's what?"

"Medicine cats can't have kits!"

"So where's Leafpool?"

"Why is she here?"

"But medicine cats can't have kits!"

"Well, medicine cats can't have mates either, but Leafpool disappeared on us with Crowfeather, didn't she?"

"Is Leafpool here too?"

"What about Brightheart?"

"What about Brightheart?"

"But it's against StarClan! We-"

"Will all of you mouse-brains be quiet and let him finish!" That was Squirrelflight.

Firestar waited patiently for the noise to die down. It was as if he knew that there was no way for his announcement to be met calmly, so he didn't even bother trying to quiet them.

Either that, or having outburst at Clan meetings was normal. Or both.

"She will be joining the Clan on a trial basis," Firestar finally said, and the remaining muttering cats quieted down so they could hear him. "She is half ThunderClan, and has every right to request shelter. She will not-"

He was cut off again.

"But medicine cats can't have kits!"

"What if StarClan punishes us?"

"Well, look at her. How old is she? StarClan hasn't punished us in the past eight or nine moons, have they?"

"Well, Rainwhisker was killed by that falling branch-"

"But what about Leafpool?"

"What about WindClan?"

"What about WindClan?"

"She's half WindClan too! She can be WindClan's problem-"

"Right, because Onestar has been so reasonable lately."

"Kits should be with their mother's Clan!"

That last was said by a long-haired gray tom, who stood watching Firestar as though to encourage him. He gave Hollypaw a kind nod.

Another gray tom standing nearby, who greatly resembled the first one, winced.

The exclamations went on.

"But where's Leafpool?"

"Is Leafpool coming back?"

"Shouldn't we-"

"Enough!" Firestar yowled, having apparently finally reached the end of his patience.

He took a deep breath. "Hollypaw will be living with us. She will be treated as any other Clanmate would be. Whatever your feeling toward Leafpool, treat Hollypaw as your Clanmae. Children are not responsible for their parents. If StarClan wishes us to do otherwise, they will send us an omen. Leafpool's whereabouts will be discussed later. Be discreet if you speak to cats from other Clans-even WindClan."

Hollypaw had seen ice once, when she was a very young kit in the dead of leaf-bare. It had covered the stones next to the stream, glittering sharply in the sunlight.

Firestar's eyes looked like ice now, treacherously beautiful, harsh, and deadly, except that they shone a viridescent green. With a sudden intake of breath, Hollypaw understood why Firestar had been the only cat ever feared by the legendary traitor Tigerstar.

"I am your leader," the ThunderClan leader finished. "This is final."

As Firestar began to climb down the rockpile and the other cats began to mutter amongst themselves, still shooting glances at Hollypaw, Squirrelflight nudged her. "Come on. I'll show you around."

Chapter Text

"Show you around," apparently meant "introduce you to some cats but not for long enough for them to ask you awkward questions."

Ignoring all the muttering and staring, Squirrelflight steered Hollypaw toward a tortoiseshell she-cat. "This is Sorreltail," she announced.

Sorreltail looked slightly discomfited at being the first one to speak to Hollypaw. "Oh, um, hi," she stammered. "I mean, greetings."

She bent her head and touched noses with Hollypaw.

A Clanborn cat, greeting her thus. It felt...strange and good at the same time.

So this was Cinderpaw's mother...one of Leafpool's closest friends.

"Leafpool said to tell you," Hollypaw said suddenly, before she could second-guess herself or wonder if she should be saying this right now, "that she misses you, and she hopes you're happy and that your kits are well, and she hopes that-that you're still her friend."

Sorreltail blinked. Squirrelflight's claws scratched the earth.

"Thank you," Sorreltail said finally. She curled her tail around her paws, sighing. "I miss her too. Is she-"

"Sorry-" Squirrelflight said suddenly, cutting her off mid-sentence. "Hollypaw's supposed to be getting to know that whole Clan now. Talk to her aft-Spiderleg!"

She led Hollypaw over to a black tom who was standing stiffly next to a small pile of three pebbles near the nursery, having frozen at Squirrelflight's call. "Uh, yes?"

"This is Hollypaw," Squirrelflight said. "Hollypaw, Spiderleg."

They stared at each other.

Squirrelflight rolled her eyes and turned, nudging Hollypaw with her. "And this-oh. Hi, Dustpelt."

The brown tom who had been sitting with the kits before had stepped in front of Squirrelflight and was staring at her, his face expressionless.

"This is Dustpelt," Squirrelflight told Hollypaw, her tail flicking back and forth. "Spiderleg's father. Dustpelt, this is-"

"I know who this is," Dustpelt growled.

"Right," Squirrelflight said. "That's good. Come on-"

Dustpelt took a step forward. "Oh, no you don't."

"Excuse me?" Squirrelflight demanded.

"Uh..." Spiderleg sounded nervous.

"Not now!" Both his father and former denmate snapped at him simultaneously, then looked at each other, identical surprised and amused expressions on each of their faces.

Dustpelt sighed. "I was simply going to ask, are you really not going to ask her where your sister is?"

Squirrelflight huffed. "Of course I am! But not yet! She only just got here!"

"That would not preclude her from telling us where Leafpool is." He tipped his head slightly. "Or that WindClan cat. You seem to have taken her under your wing already, Squirrelflight."

"Of course I have." Squirrelflight's eyes were green fire, her fur was standing on end and her tail lashed. Dustpelt, for his part, seemed immovable, stonelike, but there was a stubbornness in his eyes that matched Squirrelflight's own. Hollypaw remembered that the two had been mentor and apprentice, and that they had argued often.

"She's my sister's kit!" Squirrelflight snapped.

"Exactly," Dustpelt said. "She's your sister. And-" He raised his voice as Squirrelflight led Hollypaw away-"we need a medicine cat, Squirrelflight!"

Squirrelflight took three deep breaths.

"Come meet Ferncloud," she said finally, and led Hollypaw over to the gray queen, who was watching her kits tussle in the dirt. So this was Ferncloud, which meant that she was Dustpelt's mate, yet Squirrelflight said nothing of their meeting with Dustpelt, and so neither did Hollypaw.

"Hello," Ferncloud said carefully. "It's nice to meet you."

Hollypaw blinked. Was it really? "Th-thank you." That would be nice.

"These are my kits, Foxkit and Icekit." Ferncloud tapped the owners of the names with her tail as she said them, then laid her tail in front of the kits. "Foxkit, Icekit, say hello to Hollypaw."

"Hi!" Foxkit, the tom-kit, chirped. He had dirt on his chest and side and a tuft of fur sticking up from behind one ear. He looked ridiculous and adorable.

Icekit, the she-kit, jumped up beside him. "Hello!"

"And this is Daisy," Squirrelflight continued, gesturing with her tail to a cream-colored she-cat nearby talking with a silver she-cat. "You've met Berrypaw-this is his mother. Daisy, you remember my sister, Leafpool? This is her kit."

Hollypaw didn't know much about Daisy. Leafpool hadn't gotten to know her very well before she left. She knew that Daisy had been a rogue with three kits whom ThunderClan had taken in, but that was about it.

"And this is Millie," Squirrelflight went on, nodding to the silver she-cat, who nodded back at both of them. "Oh, and here's Millie's mate-did Leafpool tell you about Graystripe?"

Graystripe?

Firestar's best friend, who had stuck with him through thick and thin, who had fallen in love with the ill-fated Silverstream and fathered Feathertail and Stormfur, two of the cats who had gone with Crowfeather on the quest to the sun-drown-place, who had sacrificed himself to save Leafpool and four others who had been captured by Twolegs.

"I take it she did," Squirrelflight mewed, looking at the expression on Hollypaw's face.

"Greetings," the gray tom said, approaching them; Hollypaw recognized him as the cat who had said that kits should be with their mother's Clan. "It's always a pleasure to meet kin of Firestar." Unlike many of the other cats Hollypaw had met so far, whose voices had been layered with two or more meanings, Graystripe's tone and eyes held nothing but genuine warmth.

"But-you're dead!" she burst out, forgetting to move forward to touch noses with him, although he didn't seem offended. "The Twolegs captured you!"

"Well, they captured me, yes." Graystripe shrugged. "But they didn't kill me. They tried to make me into a kittypet, but Millie here helped me escape, and decided to try to find the Clans with me, and here we are."

"They showed up in the middle of a Gathering," Squirrelflight told Hollypaw. "Nearly gave all of us a heart attack." Her friendly tone belied her half-chastising words.

"Don't listen to what other cats say about you," Graystripe told Hollypaw. "Your mother is ThunderClan. You have every right to be here." He sounded like he was repeating himself, like he'd told someone else these same words before, or words very like them.

Millie's ears twitched. "I thought you said medicine cats-"

"We can't change history," Graystripe stated firmly, and gave both Squirrelflight and Hollypaw a friendly nudge.

Hollypaw couldn't help noticing that Squirrelflight steered her toward certain cats, but not toward others, and that she didn't let her speak to them for long enough to have a meaningful conversation.

"Here's our elder's den," Squirrelflight was saying. "I'd-oh. Brightheart."

Hollypaw froze.

Brightheart.

A white she-cat with a few ginger patches had just stepped out of the den.

It was impossible not to get a jolt when seeing her face; one eye was completely gone, with thin scars raking the socket where it had been. All around it was pink flesh where fur had never grown back. An ear had been completely ripped off, with only nubs of cartilage and bits of fur sticking up to show where it had been.

Brightheart's remaining eye focused on Hollypaw.

"Brightheart," Squirrelflight repeated. "This is-you know who this is?"

Brightheart nodded, still staring at Hollypaw.

The black she-cat couldn't help feeling that the warrior-turned-medicine-cat was measuring her, evaluating her...testing her.

The air felt thick somehow, like it could be ripped with a claw.

Then Brightheart nodded again-to Hollypaw, the latter realized with some surprise-turned, and walked slowly away.

Squirrelflight exhaled. "Well. That could have gone worse." She sighed. "Anyway. Want to meet the elders?"

Without waiting for an answer she strode right into the den. Hollypaw followed.

"The elders" turned out to be a tom named Longtail and a she-cat named Mousefur. Leafpool had mentioned both of them, but not much.

Mousefur was somewhat less than enthusiastic in greeting Hollypaw. She took one look at her, her dark brown fur rippling, and turned away, muttering something about sacrilege.

"Mousefur..." the, indeed, long-tailed tabby tom sighed.

"Don't 'Mousefur' me," Mousefur retorted. "You know it's true."

"That's not her fault!" Squirrelflight protested, her ginger fur spiking all down her spine.

"And yet you still support Leafpool, don't you? Brightheart was just in here-"

Longtail stepped between the quarreling she-cats. "Leave her be," her requested gently of Squirrelflight.

"It's not Hollypaw's fault," Squirrelflight repeated.

Longtail sighed. "Yes, well, do you want to get into an argument?"

"You realize I can hear you," Mousefur noted.

"Who says I only meant you?" Longtail retorted. "I know Squirrelflight."

Squirrelflight rolled her eyes, not seeming insulted. Kind of like how when Hollypaw, Lionpaw, and Jaypaw teased each other.

Was this what it was like, having Clanmates? Like being part of one big giant family? That was how Hollypaw's parents had described it, but there'd also been all the fights...

"She is just a 'paw, Mousefur," Longtail noted, and then turned to Hollypaw and politely said "Greetings," like they hadn't been talking over her head this whole time.

Longtail's fur was pale brown, marked with black stripes. His eyes-

His eyes each had a pale, thin, nearly invisible scar running through them. They looked at Hollypaw, but didn't focus. Longtail could just as easily have been looking behind her. Hollypaw knew that look.

"I expect you're wondering about my eyes, aren't you?" Longtail asked conversationally.

"I-" Hollypaw tried. She could barely speak.

Why hadn't Leafpool told them?

"Longtail!" Mousefur hissed.

"What?" Longtail asked. "She'd just ask someone else anyway. It's not like the rest of the Clan doesn't know."

He turned back to Hollypaw. "I was hunting a rabbit-this was back in the forest-and it scratched my eyes and they got infected. It was bad enough that I lost my sight, so I had to join the elders. That's the whole story-don't believe whatever Poppypaw or Berrypaw tell you. I've heard some extremely odd versions."

"But-" Hollypaw started. 

Mousefur muttered something under her breath.

"So you...you can't see at all now?" Hollypaw asked.

"No," Longtail answered matter-of-factly.

"But you can find your way around." Hollypaw knew blind cats could.

"Yes," Longtail said. "Well, the Great Journey here was difficult, and I had to learn my way around the new camp, but I've memorized where everything is now. And I can scent and hear as well as any cat."

"But...so...why did you have to be an elder?" Hollypaw felt very nervous, but she had to ask.

Longtail blinked. Squirrelflight looked at her. Mousefur inhaled sharply and opened her mouth, then looked at Longtail and apparently decided to wait to see how he reacted before releasing her tirade.

Longtail spoke slowly. "i can't see, Hollypaw. I can't see to hunt. I can't see to defend myself from an attack. I can't see to patrol the territory."

"But...Jaypaw can't see, and he can hunt." Hollypaw anxiously sheathed and unsheathed her claws.

"Jaypaw?" Squirrelflight queried. "Your brother?"

"Yes."

"And he's blind."

Hollypaw nodded and said "Yes," at the same time, like she did whenever she was speaking to Jaypaw and another cat at once, and then added, "Since we were born."

Longtail leaned forward. Even Mousefur's ears perked up.

"Why didn't you mention this?" Squirrelflight's eyes were wide, her whiskers stiff.

Hollypaw blinked. "Should I have?" Her brother's blindness hadn't exactly been on her list of top priorities to mention, what with meeting her kin and being terrified that ThunderClan would reject her and the whole not-being-supposed-to-exist thing.

"And you say-he can hunt?" Longtail's fur looked like it was standing on end. His tail was very still. His features were calm and composed, but too much so, like he was trying very hard to show no reaction.

Hollypaw nodded and said "Yes," again. "He can't see, but he can hear and smell really well, better than the rest of us. He caught a vole the day I left."

And there were other things that Jaypaw could do, things that more than made up for his lack of sight, but Hollypaw couldn't tell them, not Mousefur and Longtail, and maybe not even Squirrelflight.

Longtail's eyes were closed. Mousefur was glaring at both Hollypaw and Squirrelflight, the latter of whom was glancing nervously between the two elders and the black-furred apprentice. Nobody spoke.

Should she not have said anything?

They were going to hate her now because she'd said the wrong thing, they'd never accept her-

When Longtail spoke, his eyes were still closed, and his voice sounded faraway. "You say he's been blind since birth?"

"Yes." He didn't sound angry, at least. Not like how Mousefur looked. "His eyes weren't scratched or anything. They just never worked."

Not while Jaypaw was awake, anyway.

Longtail sighed. "That explains it."

"Explains what?" Squirrelflight asked.

Longtail opened his sightless eyes. "Her brother...Jaypaw...has been blind his entire life. He has never known sight. He has only ever gotten by through his other senses, so he would have been sharpening them since he was a kit. I was older-not a kit, not even an apprentice. I was a full warrior, training my third apprentice. When you are older, it...it is harder to learn again how to walk, how to detect obstacles, how to tell if other cats are there. Your brother is more fortunate than I was, I suppose. Although, on the other paw," Longtail mused, now sounding perhaps like he pitied Jaypaw a little bit, "to never know sight..."

Squirrelflight exhaled as she and Hollypaw exited the elders' den. The sun was sinking, turning the western portion of the sky pink and orange. Any other time Hollypaw would have stared at the breathtaking beauty and taken turns with Lionpaw to describe it to Jaypaw, except that Lionpaw and Jaypaw weren't here and she had other things to think about.

Squirrelflight was speaking. "That could have gone worse, I suppose," she said, which was almost exactly what she'd said after meeting Brightheart.

Hollypaw was wondering how much worse it could have gotten when Squirrelflight suddenly cried, "Oh! Stormfur!"

Hollypaw looked up. A long-haired gray tom was approaching them, almost hesitantly, with a brown tabby she-cat nudging him along. At first glance, Hollypaw almost thought it was Graystripe, but this cat was younger, and the she-cat with him wasn't Millie. Hollypaw recognized him as the cat who had winced when Graystripe had spoken out in support of her.

"This is Stormfur," Squirrelflight told her. "Graystripe's son. He came with me and Brambleclaw to the sun-drown-place."

"You say that like both of us didn't just convince the others to let us tag along," Stormfur said dryly, his amber eyes glinting with amusement.

Squirrelflight flicked him with her tail, but in a friendly way, like Hollypaw and Lionpaw and Jaypaw did to each other. "And this is Brook. Brook, I don't know if you remember my sister, but this is her daughter."

Brook dipped her head, dropping her gray eyes to the ground, and lifted a front paw for a heartbeat, then quickly put it back down. "It is a pleasure to meet you," she told Hollypaw.

"Yes," Stormfur added quickly. "Do you-did your-uh, did Crowfeather and Leafpool tell you about me?"

Yes, they had. Stormfur was the brother of Feathertail, both of them half-Clan kits of Graystripe, who had....

Wait. How was he even here? "Didn't you join the Tribe of Rushing Water?" Hollypaw was confused.

Stormfur blinked, an inscrutable look momentarily sliding over his face. He and Brook exchanged the briefest of glances. "Yes, actually."

"So...you left?"

Stormfur nodded.

"Why?"

Squirrelflight looked as though she would quite like to know that answer as well.

Stormfur shifted his weight, avoiding both their gazes. "Well, I grew up in the Clans."

That was true. But what about Brook? She hadn't grown up in the Clans. And besides, hadn't Stormfur grown up in RiverClan?

Maybe he'd joined ThunderClan to be able to spend more time with Graystripe, now that the former deputy was back. When had Graystripe returned, anyway?

But Hollypaw had not been the one chosen out of the three of them to go to the Clans for nothing; she knew when it would be impolite to ask more questions, and when in fact it might be detrimental to ask more questions. Unlike some cats she could mention.

"Anyway," Stormfur said, "I just-I wanted to tell you-well, you know I'm half-Clan too?"

Hollypaw nodded.

Too. The word made it sound like they shared a kinship.

"Don't listen to whatever other cats say," Stormfur told her, echoing his father. "If you're loyal to your Clan, then you're loyal to your Clan. Everyone else will see that sooner or later. Don't let what anyone else says determine your self-worth. Don't try to-prove yourself." He grimaced, as though those words held a bitter memory.

"Anyway," the once-RiverClan cat finished, "if you want to, I don't know, talk about anything...I'm not going anywhere." He exhaled, giving Hollypaw an awkward nudge.

Hollypaw couldn't speak.

She wasn't the only half-Clan cat in ThunderClan. And the other half-Clan cat wasn't nervous that associating with her would cast suspicions on his loyalty, had in fact given her encouragement and the offer of a listening ear.

She felt suddenly like she wanted to nestle into her mother's fur and stay there forever.

"Thanks," Squirrelflight told Stormfur, sounding odd, and Hollypaw was grateful that Squirrelflight could find words when she could not. Although from what both Leafpool and Crowfeather had said, Squirrelflight very rarely had a hard time finding words. "I mean it. Really."

Stormfur shrugged.

"We-can we talk later?" Squirrelflight asked.

Stormfur's tail-tip switched. "Of course." 

"Hollypaw looks tired," Brook interjected. "Is there a place for her to sleep?"

The three adult cats looked at Hollypaw. She did feel tired. It had been a very long, emotional, nerve-wracking day.

To put it mildly.

"Yes, of course," Squirrelflight said, sounding annoyed and chagrined and concerned all at once. "Come on, Hollypaw, I'll show you to the apprentices' den."

Chapter Text

The apprentices' den was a small bush that looked just like all the other bushes.

Squirrelflight nudged Hollypaw in. The inside was big, bigger than any den she'd ever seen, although it wasn't like she'd seen that many before. It was big enough to hold at least eight cats comfortably, although right now there were only six. Two of them were Berrypaw and Cinderpaw. The other four Hollypaw recognized as the cats Berrypaw and Cinderpaw had been talking to earlier. There were only two toms, including Berrypaw. All of them stopped talking to each other and stared as Hollyaw and Squirrelflight walked in. Hollypaw's fur prickled.

"Right, all of you," Squirrelflight began. "This is Hollypaw. She is a guest of ThunderClan and you will treat her as you would any other apprentice. I don't suppose I need to explain anything else?"

A tortoiseshell she-cat shook her head.

"Of course not," Squirrelflight sighed. "Well. Hollypaw, you've already met Berrypaw and Cinderpaw. These are Berrypaw's littermates, Hazelpaw and Mousepaw-" She indicated a gray-and-white she-cat and the only other tom besides Berrypaw, a gray tom with green eyes. "And these are Cinderpaw's sisters Poppypaw and Honeypaw." She gestured to the tortoiseshell she-cat and a, well, honey-colored she-cat.

"I'll see you in the morning, Hollypaw," Squirrelflight told her. "Go to sleep, all of you. At least-" Her whiskers twitched-"try."

She hesitated, brushed Hollypaw's shoulder with her tail, and exited the den.

You're just going to leave me here?! Hollypaw thought in panic, but before she could call out, she was surrounded.

"Hi!" Hazelpaw and Honeypaw said at the same time.

"Greetings," Mousepaw said, like he was trying to sound dignified.

"You sound like a stuffy old warrior," Berrypaw told him.

"Do not!"

"Remember me?" Cinderpaw asked.

Poppypaw sighed. "I'm sure her memory isn't that bad."

"Me and Cinderpaw met her first!" Berrypaw was excitedly telling the others.

"You told us that," Hazelpaw told him.

All six cats crowded around Hollypaw, sniffing at her fur and staring at her. She took a step back, until the leaves of the den wall brushed against her pelt.

"So it's true?" Hazelpaw asked her. "You're really Leafpool's kit?"

Hollypaw nodded.

"Whoa," Honeypaw whispered.

"Leafpool's a medicine cat," Poppypaw pointed out. "Or she was, anyway."

The apprentices began to chatter among themselves, talking over each other.

"Medicine cats can't have kits!"

"Well, she's not a medicine cat anymore if she ran away, is she?"

"But she was a medicine cat before that. When she met whatshisname from WindClan."

"Crowfeather! He's one of the cats who went to the sun-drown-place!"

"He is?"

"Duh!"

"I mean, I knew he was, but I didn't know he was also Leafpool's mate! No one ever told me that."

"Well, because it's embarrassing."

"What is?"

"That our medicine cat became mates with a cat from WindClan! And they ran away!"

"Oh, is that why Firestar and Onestar don't like each other?"

"You know what I heard? That they used to be friends, actually!"

"Well, they're not anymore, obviously."

"You know what I heard? That Crowfeather's Ashfoot's son!"

"Ashfoot who?"

"WindClan's deputy!"

"I knew that."

"Wait, so WindClan's deputy's son became mates with our medicine cat? No wonder nobody talks about it."

"Yeah, especially because our medicine cat became mates with their deputy's son. And remember, Leafpool's Squirrelflight's sister. So she's Firestar's daughter."

"Ohhh....So it goes both ways."

"No wonder nobody talks about it."

"I just said that."

The six apprentices chattered like birds in a tree. Their words seemed to circle Hollypaw, making her dizzy.

Suddenly she realized that all six of them had stopped talking and were staring at her.

"So," Honeypaw asked, "what's it like?"

Hollypaw shifted. "What's what like?"

"Being half-Clan," Poppypaw prompted. "And the kit of a medicine cat."

Hollypaw had never thought about it like that before. "It's...normal, really," she answered hesitantly. "I mean, I know it's against the warrior code, but for me and my brothers, it's just...our life."

"You know about the warrior code?" Hazelpaw asked.

"My pa-Leafpool and Crowfeather taught us everything about the Clans," she answered. "So we know the warrior code."

"But how well do you know it?" Berrypaw asked. "What's the first code?"

"Be nice," Hazelpaw scolded him, picking up on the subtext as easily as Hollypaw had.

The first rule of the warrior code was as follows: Defend your Clan, even with your life. You may have friendships with cats from other Clans, but your loyalty must remain to your own Clan.

Your loyalty must remain to your own Clan.

In other words, the exact opposite of what her parents had done.

Mousepaw seemed to catch something no one else had. "You said you had brothers?"

"She has two brothers," Cinderpaw informed him. "Their names are Lionpaw and Jaypaw."

"Why didn't they come with you?" Mousepaw asked.

Hollypaw repeated the answer she'd given earlier. "My parents thought I would make the best first impression."

"You should have brought them with you," Berrypaw mewed. "We have too many she-cat apprentices. She-cats are annoying."

"Hey!" Poppypaw, Cinderpaw, Honeypaw, and Hazelpaw objected.

"To be fair," Mousepaw backed his brother up, "you all do spend a lot of time grooming your fur and making sure you look perfect. It gets boring after a while."

"I'll show you boring," Hazelpaw threatened, and jumped atop both her brothers. The noise of the ensuing scuffle brought Squirrelflight in.

"What are you doing in here?" the ginger warrior demanded. "I thought I told you to go to sleep!"

"Are you spying on us?" Cinderpaw asked indignantly.

"Hazelpaw, take your paw out of your brother's ear," Squirrelflight went on, without actually answering Cinderpaw's question. "All of you, lay down and go to sleep."

Everybody groaned but did as they were told.

Berrypaw, Hazelpaw, and Mousepaw lay down together on one side of the den, their quarrel forgotten. Poppypaw, Honeypaw, and Cinderpaw lay down together on the other side of the den. Hollypaw lay down all by herself in the middle of the den, curling up into a ball.

She missed the warmth of her brothers next to her, the sound of their breathing, the thrum of their heartbeats.

She would have thought she was too jittery and nervous to fall asleep right away, but the day had been an exhausting one, and she drifted off almost immediately.

Chapter Text

Squirrelflight stood hesitantly next to the apprentices' den, her head tilted sideways. Her shoulder fur was ruffling, and her claws were unsheathed. She strained to hear what was going on inside, but the last murmurs had faded away; the apprentices had finally gone to sleep, it seemed.

Her tail swung slightly back and forth, the edge gently brushing the earth.

She aced around in a small circle. Several cats tried to catch her gaze. She ignored them.

Her grass-green eyes, striking against her flame-orange fur, were excited, tired, worried, and confused all at once.

It had been a very long day.

No one was shouting anymore, at least. Everybody was huddled in groups, whispering to each other, and glancing not-so-secretly at the apprentices' den. Squirrelflight should have told Hollypaw not to leave the den in the morning until she herself came. She took a pawstep towards the den, internally debating, then decided against it. If she woke up Hollypaw now all the other apprentices would wake up too. Besides, StarClan knew the apprentice deserved her rest. Being the half-Clan kit of a medicine cat and just walking into Clan territory like that...Squirrelflight wasn't sure she could have done that.

How did Hollypaw even have an apprentice name? Had Leafpool and Crowfeather done some sort of ceremony? Squirrelflight would have to ask her.

Firestar, Dustpelt, Sandstorm, and Graystripe appeared to be having a very lively conversation beneath the Highledge, while Brambleclaw kneaded his claws and Ferncloud whispered to Millie. Foxkit and Icekit, despite the lateness of the hour, played catch-the-tail with their older brother Birchfall. A mildly intrigued-looking Ashfur was speaking to Brackenfur, while Thornclaw looked as though he was debating with himself whether or not to go into the medicine den, which he was staring at. Whitewing and Cloudtail whispered to each other, until Cloudtail turned and stalked into the medicine den, ignoring Thornclaw, while Whitewing shot Squirrelflight an apologetic glance and went to disentangle Birchfall from his little siblings. Despite dusk's encroaching shadows, Longtail and Mousefur were still talking by the elders' den. Mousefur had nudged Longtail out for some fresh air after Hollypaw had dropped her bombshell, and it didn't look as though they would be finished talking any time soon.

These were the familiar sounds of her Clan, and even if her eyes had been closed she would have known where she was.

She knew the scents of her Clan, of her territory, of her camp-grass and rock and water, milk and herbs and mice, fur and sun and wind.

She knew each of her Clanmates by sight, could recognize mottled fur patterns through three layers of bracken and grass.

This was her Clan. This was her life. This was her home.

StarClan, she missed Leafpool.

She missed the way how, as apprenticed, they would sneak out of camp together and get punished together and lie awake whispering until moonhigh. She missed the way Leafpool would lecture her on herbs, even though Squirrelflight complained that they had medicine cats for this, because "You never know when you might need this. Just in case." She missed how Leafpool somehow always knew the very best thing to say to make Squirrelflight feel better from whatever mood she was in.

Hollypaw had said she'd come along, but how had she known the way? Brambleclaw would have checked the area for any other cats, but he and the others would have been pretty distracted, what with Leafpool's kit showing up. She'd have to ask him.

"Squirrelflight?" Stormfur asked.

Squirrelflight jumped. She could almost hear Dustpelt snort. "Don't sneak up on me like that!" She could feel her heart racing.

"Sorry," Stormfur mewed apologetically. "I thought you saw me."

And Squirrelflight probably would have, too, if she hadn't been so lost in thought.

"You said you wanted to talk to me?" Stormfur prompted.

"Right..." Squirrelflight shook out her fur. "Nothing major. This is going to sound mouse-brained...Just, well, when you were talking to Hollypaw you said she could talk to you. I mean, I don't know if she will, she doesn't know you, but she doesn't know the rest of us either, and, well, at least she'll have someone to talk to. So, thank you for offering, I guess."

"Of course," Stormfur said, sounding puzzled.

"I told you it would sound mouse-brained," Squirrelflight muttered.

"It doesn't," Stormfur assured her. "And..." he added, "I know what it's like. Not the kit-of-a-medicine-cat part, but the rest of it..."

"I guess," Squirrelflight agreed.

Stormfur shuffled his paws. "It's like...she shouldn't be alone," he mused, almost to himself. "Didn't she say she had brothers?" Anything Hollypaw had mentioned had spread like wildfire through the ThunderClan camp. Clan cats, Squirrelflight had to admit, could be gossips.

"She did," Squirrelflight confirmed. "They probably thought it would be better not to spring them all on us at once."

Stormfur allowed himself a snort of amusement. "When is Firestar going to send out the patrol?"

"Before dawn." She glanced at the apprentices' den. "Before she wakes up."

Stormfur nodded.

According to Hollypaw, Leafpool and Crowfeather did not want to be found.

However, you could not seriously expect the Clan leader to receive news of his daughter and medicine cat for the first time in seasons and not act on it.

So a small patrol was being sent out, in the direction Hollypaw had come from. They would follow her scent and see if they could find Leafpool. If they did, they would try to persuade her to return.

As the news made its way around the camp (there had been no official announcement) the Clan seemed slightly mollified. If Leafpool returned, life could go back to normal! 

Well, sort of. There was still the matter of Hollypaw and her brothers. Not to mention Crowfeather. But at least they would have a proper medicine cat.

"Are you going with them?" Stormfur asked. It should have been obvious, the question only a formality, and indeed, he looked startled when she shook her head.

"I want to," she admitted. "But Firestar said-I should stay here, for Hollypaw. He and Sandstorm aren't going either. She'll notice if any of us are gone."

Stormfur nodded slowly. Hollypaw didn't know the Clan well yet, but the absence of any of the three cats closely related to her would surely alarm her.

"He's sending Sorreltail, though," Squirrelflight told him. "She and Leafpool were friends. Let's just hope Cinderpaw, Poppypaw, and Honeypaw don't start speculating about where she could be within earshot of Hollypaw."

"There you are!" Brook said.

The Tribe she-cat, who still proudly identified herself as such, had never felt fully comfortable in ThunderClan; she felt most at ease when she was with her mate, Stormfur, or with Brambleclaw or Squirrelflight, whom she'd already known.

Squirrelflight wondered why Stormfur and Brook had come to the lake. No that she was complaining-they were her old friends, after all-but Stormfur's decision had seemed pretty final. There was nothing for him in the Clans-well, except Graystripe, but nobody had known Graystripe was alive until recently. Even Feathertail was buried in the mountains.

But neither of them had taken any of her hints, and Squirrelflight did have some tact, as she liked to tell the imaginary Leafpool in her head.

"We should go to bed, all of us," Brook said. She had a tendency to look after cats-in the mountains she'd often helped kit-mothers with their kits-and would make a good mother, although as far as Squirrelflight knew Brook wasn't expecting kits.

"It's getting late," Brook went on. "Squirrelflight, that means you too."

In a strange territory, surrounded by cats whose way of life was foreign to her, Brook had taken on almost an older-sister role to Squirrelflight.

Squirrelflight didn't mind. Brook's calm, no-nonsense attitude reminded her of Leafpool.

Besides, the sooner she went to sleep, the sooner it would be dawn, and the sooner she could speak to Hollypaw again.

"All right," she agreed.

Chapter Text

Hollypaw was tracking a mouse through the woods. She hadn't seen it yet, but she could smell it, and she'd seen a few tiny pawprints earlier.

She crept silently, making sure she set each paw down on soft grass and not on a dry leaf or twig. She was much better at this than Lionpaw or Jaypaw. She was getting faster, too. Soon she'd be able to stalk prey nearly as fast as her regular walking speed. It was harder than it looked, though.

She heard a tiny rustle and froze. She slowly turned her head to see a small brown mouse gnawing at the roots of a bush. Yes!

She took a small, silent step towards it. Then another. Then-

Behind her, a very loud rustle, accompanied by the snapping of a twig. "Hollypaw?"

I was about to get it! Hollypaw wailed inwardly as the mouse scampered away in the blink of an eye, but as she turned to give her brother a piece of her mind, she found all of her annoyance melting away. How could she be upset with her brother? She hadn't seen him in ages!

"Jaypaw!" she exclaimed, running over to him and burying her nose in his fur. "I missed you!"

Jaypaw blinked. "I-I missed you too, Hollypaw." He wrapped his tail around her, as though to ensure that she was there.

Neither Hollypaw nor Jaypaw were normally the most effusive with gestures of affection-they'd inherited that from their father-but when you have been separated from your littermate for the first time ever, you make an exception.

"I missed you," Hollypaw repeated, stepping back and looking at him. "I haven't seen you in..."

She faltered.

Come to think of it, why hadn't she seen him or Lionpaw in so long? And how long had it been, anyway?

She turned around and around, staring at the trees. They were unfamiliar to her. This didn't look like any part of the woods where her family lived. And, although she hadn't seen much of it, this didn't look like any part of ThunderClan territory that she'd walked through, either. And how had she even gotten here? How was Jaypaw here? And if Jaypaw was here, where was everybody else?

The last thing she remembered was-

Hollypaw recoiled, staring at the perfectly ordinary-looking (too ordinary-looking) trees and grass surrounding the two of them, with her brother just sitting there, an innocuous look in his blank blue eyes.

Jaypaw winced, taking a step away from her. "Figured it out yet?"

"This is a dream," Hollypaw whispered, feeling as though the ground was tilting under her paws. "I'm dreaming. I went to sleep and I was having a regular dream about hunting like I always do and..."

The evenly uniform leaves in the trees above, all the same shade of green, rustled in the breeze.

Was it even really a breeze? This was all a product of her sleeping mind!

"It's okay," Jaypaw mewed softly. "Don't panic. It's just a dream."

"Just a dream?" Hollypaw laughed hysterically. "Of course it is! And yet you're here talking to me! Maybe you're just a dream! Maybe everything-"

"Hollypaw." Jaypaw came up to her and leaned against her, wrapping his tail around her again.

"Get off," she complained, relieved to be focusing on something trivial and mundane.

"Do I feel real?" Jaypaw asked her. "Do I smell real? This is really me, Hollypaw." He stepped away, looking directly into her eyes-how was he able to do that?

"Should I tell you something only I would know, to prove I"m me and not a figment of your imagination?" Jaypaw suggested.

Hollypaw's mind automatically found the holes in that logic. (Her father, in his more affectionate, open moments, had always called her his little thinker, even when she protested that she wasn't little anymore.) "But if you tell me something only you would know, that means I wouldn't know it, so my mind could just be making some random thing up about you, meaning you are a figment of my imagination."

"What?" Jaypaw said.

There was a short moment of confusion.

"Look," Jaypaw finally said. "You know what I can do."

Yes, she knew what Jaypaw could do. But-

"I didn't know you could do this," she whispered. She would feel almost in awe of him, if she hadn't grown up with him and seen him covered in mud and drenched in water, whining that he was hungry or treading on her tail.

"Yeah, well." Jaypaw shifted. "Me neither. I mean, I could see other cats' dreams, but I wasn't sure it would work from this distance. I tried last night and it didn't work, but then I realized I was imagining Mother's memories of the old ThunderClan camp, which is gone now, obviously, so I tried again tonight imagining the new camp."

"I don't understand." Hollypaw was confused.

"Basically," Jaypaw explained, "I imagine myself walking to where another cat is sleeping and going inside his or her head, and then I'm inside the dream." He paused. "You know, when I say it out loud it sounds kind of creepy."

"It sure does!" Her brother could just...spy on other cats' dreams? Their innermost feelings and desires? As though sensing their emotions wasn't enough? What kind of otherworldly power was this?

"Thank you very much, Hollypaw. Anyway, I never did that before, because we were all sleeping in the same den anyway. But then you left, and I tried to visit your dream. It didn't work last night, because I was imagining the wrong camp, so I tried again tonight, and, well, hi."

"Hi," Hollypaw said.

She missed Lionpaw.

"You know, it wouldn't have worked last night anyway," she told Jaypaw, surprised at how easily she was accepting this. "I only got to ThunderClan today."

"So you're in ThunderClan?" Jaypaw asked. "Did they accept you? What are they like?"

I'm not sure, Hollypaw thought. Complicated. Friendly. Prideful. Unforgiving. With long memories.

She opened her mouth, and what came out was "I met Squirrelflight."

"Squirrelflight?"

"Squirrelflight."

"What's she like?" Jaypaw's voice was almost a whisper. Squirrelflight was almost a mythical figure to the three of them.

"She's..." Hollypaw couldn't think of any description that would perfectly fit her aunt except for, "Just like Mother told us."

"Wow," Jaypaw said. "Like in all the stories?"

"I think so."

"Remember the one about her falling into the ravine?"

"And the one about both of them falling into the river the first day of their apprenticeship?"

They both laughed, but there was something missing.

"I could try to bring Lionpaw next time I visit your dream," Jaypaw told her, like it was a given that he would be visiting her dreams in the future. "I mean, I don't know if it will work, I've never done it before, but I can try, at least."

"Thanks," Hollypaw said, not even asking how he had known she was missing Lionpaw. He'd always been like this, and they were three moons old before they'd realized it was unusual.

"But what's ThunderClan like?" Jaypaw pressed, hungry for information about the Clan he had never known.

"Well, Firestar said I could stay for now," Hollypaw said optimistically. "And I met a bunch of cats. Some of them seem nice."

"And some of them don't?"

Hollypaw shrugged, then remembered that Jaypaw couldn't see her, then remembered that this was a dream.

"Yeah, it gets confusing," Jaypaw told her authoritatively. "But seriously, you know if it gets too bad, nothing's stopping you from leaving and coming back home and we'll just live a normal life, right?"

"Right," Hollypaw said. "But-I want to do this."

Was she afraid, uncertain, lonely? Yes.

But she wanted to prove herself to her parents and her brothers.

And the past day had shown her...she also wanted to prove herself to ThunderClan.

"So you'll keep visiting my dreams," she asked, "and if they accept me as a full apprentice, you and Lionpaw will come?"

"That's the plan. Have they accepted you as a full apprentice?"

"No," she admitted. "I'm not sure what I am here. They're not supposed to tell the other Clans about me, not even WindClan."

Jaypaw grunted his disapproval. "I still say me and Lionpaw should have come with you." The scene after their parents had made their announcement had been quite dramatic.

"You probably would have gotten kicked out already." What? Jaypaw wasn't the only one who could be blunt and tactless.

"Well," he said, "I don't care. If we're not good enough for them, they're not good enough for us."

They sat and listened to the fake wind blowing and the fake leaves rustling and the fake birds chirping.

"How will you speak to WindClan?" Jaypaw asked finally. "I mean - Ashfoot."

"I'm not sure," she admitted. "First let's see how I do in ThunderClan."

Let's. They were in this together. She wasn't completely alone.

Jaypaw flicked his ears. "You'll do great," he said matter-of-factly.

Hollypaw blinked, surprised; Jaypaw was not usually effusive with praise.

Then again, these were not usual times.

"How are you?" she asked. "How are Mother and Lionpaw?"

"Well, you're gone. But we're fine. Lionpaw beat me in training practice today. Again." He sounded disgruntled, and Hollypaw suppressed a giggle. Their father usually oversaw their battle training, but apparently with him gone her brothers had taken matters into their own paws.

"I just got here today," she told Jaypaw. "So our father should be back with you in a half moon, maybe less."

"Maybe more," Jaypaw suggested. "He might stay around the area for a while, to keep an eye on you."

"How do you know? He told you?" Hollypaw asked, and then answered her own question. "No."

"No," Jaypaw agreed. "But I don't know whether he did or didn't-I don't know where he is, and he's far away, so I can't visit his dreams."

Hollypaw's tail drooped. She'd have liked some concrete proof.

Still, the mere possibility that her father might be nearby, watching over her...it was a comfort.

Something tapped her side. She looked down, but there was nothing there.

Another tap. Hollypaw shifted, and felt moss instead of grass. The world flickered.

"You're waking up," Jaypaw said. The world flickered again, the trees and grass and even Jaypaw fading, the forms of sleeping apprentices visible through them; she couldn't hear Jaypaw for a moment. "-a quarter moon at least. Okay?"

"Wait," Hollypaw said quickly, feeling another prod. She was afraid to ask, but she had to be sure.

Jaypaw was fading away, his form almost invisible now, looking like a gray ghost. Only his eyes remained solid and substantial, glowing an eerie blue.

"Just - tell me one more thing." Hollypaw's heart was pounding as hard as it had been when she'd been waiting on the border. "Is this - is all this - you talking to me - is it real? Or has it just been a dream?"

Jaypaw's eyes burned like the blue just above the rising sun, even as the rest of his body dissolved into nothing. "Of course this is a dream, Hollypaw," he stated in that matter-of-fact, know-it-all way of his, "but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?"

Jaypaw awoke to the cold breeze of dawn, an overpowering sense of relief washing over him. She's there. She's safe. It worked, and she's safe.

Hollypaw opened her eyes to see Squirrelflight leaning over her, her white paw raised to tap her again.

"Wake up," Squirrelflight commanded. "I want to talk to you."

Chapter Text

Squirrelflight's voice sounded so authoritative, so commanding - so like her mother's, on the rare occasions she was strict with the three of them - that Hollypaw's paws had taken her out of her nest and halfway across the camp after Squirrelflight before her mind was fully awake.

Had that really been Jaypaw, in her dream? It had seemed so real. He had seemed so real. But dreams always seemed real, didn't they?

One time I was worried about hunting and I had a dream that mice ate me, she imagined Lionpaw saying. That wasn't real, obviously.

But I'm sure it felt real while you were dreaming it, she imagined herself pointing out.

"Hm?" Squirrelflight asked. "Did you say something?"

Hollypaw jumped, shaking her head wildly. "No, I - nothing, never mind."

Thanks for nothing, Lionpaw, she groused.

I'm not even here, he pointed out.

Echoes of her brother's laughter filled her head. Hollypaw rolled her eyes.

Squirrelflight and Hollypaw reached the camp entrance, where a golden-brown tom was sitting. Hollypaw vaguely remembered him as standing near Sorreltail when Squirrelflight had introduced her, but he hadn't spoken to her. Squirrelflight nodded to him and walked right past him out of the camp. The tom looked like he wanted to say something, but didn't. Hollypaw hesitated for a moment, then followed.

They walked through the woods for a while, past the training hollow, a different way than the patrol had brought Hollypaw to the camp. She wasn't sure she could find her way to the camp from here, or even out of the territory.

But, she was relieved to note, the trees were spaced unevenly, and the leaves were of different shapes and different shades of green, and a bird's trill welcoming the coming dawn was abruptly cut off by a rustle of leaves, a small thump, a surprised squawk, and wingbeats, as though a squirrel had dropped onto the branch beside the bird, startling it into flight. A cold breeze blew, and she shivered.

No, this couldn't be a dream. This was real. She was awake, and she had come to ThunderClan, and her mother's sister was bringing her...somewhere.

She glanced at Squirrelflight. The ginger she-cat hadn't spoken since they'd left the camp. Hollypaw's fur prickled.

Finally, Squirrelflight stopped beneath the spreading boughs of an aspen tree. She turned to Hollypaw. "Well?" she demanded.

Hollypaw blinked. "Well what?" She wasn't in trouble for anything, was she? She hadn't even been here for a full day!

"Leafpool!" Squirrelflight turned and paced sharply back and forth, taking only a few steps before turning the other way as she whisked her tail back and forth, over and over, the hairs on the end of it brushing the ground, not seeming to care that it was getting dirty. She seemed unable to keep still.

Come to think of it, Hollypaw didn't ever think she'd seen Squirrelflight completely still so far. Always, some part of her had been moving - her ears, her tail, her whiskers. Even during the Clan meeting, when every cat had been sitting with his or her eyes glued on Firestar, Squirrelflight had been shuffling her paws or shifting her weight or scratching her claws in the ground as she glared at whoever was calling for Hollypaw to be refused entry.

Squirrelflight was always moving, could never stop, always full of energy, both in mind and body, that had to go somewhere.

Not like Hollypaw, who was the opposite of her ThunderClan kin not only in pelt color but also, it seemed, in temperament.

Not like Leafpool either, for that matter.

There was a sort of serene calmness about her that her ginger sister lacked. Neither of Hollypaw's brothers had inherited that. Jaypaw was almost exactly like Crowfeather in temperament, and Lionpaw....well, Lionpaw certainly didn't have the same patient tranquility that Leafpool did, but neither did he have the rough-edged, flashing temper that their father tried hard to control.

Not for the first time, Hollypaw wondered what in the name of StarClan had attracted her parents to each other.

"How is she?" Squirrelflight demanded, breaking Hollypaw out of her reverie.

Hollypaw jumped. Squirrelflight. Leafpool. Right. Squirrelflight wanted to know how the sister she hadn't seen in seasons was, the same way Hollypaw would demand information if one of her brothers disappeared.

"She's f-fine," Hollypaw stuttered, unnerved by Squirrelflight's green glare, so unlike Leafpool's soft amber...exactly like Firestar's eyes of emerald ice as he had stared the Clan down, one cat against them all, as it had been in the very beginning.

Then Squirrelflight closed her eyes, and the scalding emerald was gone, shuttered by ginger lids; Hollypaw nearly breathed a sigh of relief that she was no longer facing that green glare.

But Squirrelflight sat down, head bowed and claws sheathing and unsheathing over and over, tail still. She looked, suddenly, tired. Almost defeated.

"She's fine," Squirrelflight repeated, and there was something, a shadow of an edge of something that could almost be called bitterness, to her tone.

But that couldn't be - she was Leafpool's sister. She loved Leafpool and Leafpool loved her. They had been closer than anything, just like Hollypaw and Lionpaw and Jaypaw.

But Leafpool had left...

Just like Hollypaw had left.

That's different, she told herself. They told me to go. I had a good reason. I didn't want to leave my brothers.

But Leafpool had had a good reason for leaving too, hadn't she? Not that her parents had told her to leave, but if she hadn't, Hollypaw and her brothers would never have been born. And surely she hadn't wanted to leave her only sister. But it had been the only way. She was the ThunderClan medicine cat and he was a WindClan warrior; the warrior code forbade them, forbade Hollypaw's very existence...

Excuses, a voice muttered darkly in the back of her mind, a voice she hadn't invited in, a voice that sounded like Squirrelflight or Mousefur or even Jaypaw.

"Hollypaw?" Squirrelflight's head was tilted to the side questioningly. "You can sit down if you want."

Hollypaw sat down quickly. She really needed to stop getting distracted by her own thoughts so much and to start focusing more, part of her thought.

But thinking was her strength, the rest of her argued. She was good at it. She wasn't as good of a fighter or hunter as Lionpaw. She couldn't remember herbs - or walk in the dreams of other cats and know their memories - like Jaypaw. What she could do was think, think and plan and strategize. She could find the hole in every argument, the flaw in every plan. Once in a while her father would sit the three of them down and present a mock battle plan to them; Hollypaw was always the first to point out any flaws and suggested the most ideas for how it could be improved, every time. She even asked her mother questions about StarClan.

Thinking too much wasn't a skill valued in warriors as much as their ability to hunt and fight. The Clan must be fed. The Clan must be defended. You listened to your leader, and suggested ideas when they were called for, and followed orders when they were not.

But she had an inquiring mind, her mother had once called it, and it was her strength, her skill. She may not be an ordinary warrior, but, well, she was the half-WindClan daughter of a ThunderClan medicine cat. She wouldn't be an ordinary warrior anyway.

"Hollypaw," Squirrelflight said again. "How old are you?"

Hollypaw blinked. She hadn't been expecting that question. "Um - almost nine moons."

"Almost nine moons." Squirrelflight sighed. "You're nearly the same age I was when I insisted on going along to the sun-drown-place. Do you know-"

"I know about the journey to the sun-drown-place," Hollypaw assured her. "I know everything."

Squirrelflight made a small noise of amusement. "I doubt that. But anyway..." Another soft sigh. "I thought I was so grown-up, so mature....I want you to imagine, Hollypaw," she went on. "Imagine you were me. We'd recently made the Great Journey and settled in these new territories. It was an uncertain time. Cats died. And just when things are getting settled, your sister disappears without a trace, leaving no message behind. And then seasons later she sends the daughter you didn't know she had to tell you she doesn't want to be found, not even by her closest kin."

"But she - I'm not - That's not what they sent me for!" Hollypaw protested. "She does care for you! She just wants us to live in a Clan, and I'm the first!"

"If living in a Clan is so good," Squirrelflight demanded, "then why doesn't she come back?"

Their eyes met, and Hollypaw saw that Squirrelflight's green gaze was filled with anger, and bewilderment - and pain, pain that her sister had abandoned her, and seemingly did not want to return.

"She wants to," Hollypaw said quietly. "She misses you. She loves you. But she loves Crowfeather, too, and us, and..."

"If they returned," Squirrelflight finished, "they would be forbidden to see each other."

Hollypaw nodded. Her parents loved each other. That she knew.

"And you," Squirrelflight realized. "You were a test, weren't you? To see how we reacted. That's why they sent you, without your littermates. If things hadn't gone well you could have just left and reported what happened."

Hollypaw nodded. "They can't come back, because they won't be able to see each other, and they thought they might not be able to see us either."

"You're half ThunderClan," Squirrelflight objected.

"Our mother's a medicine cat," Hollypaw replied simply.

Squirrelflight wrapped her tail around her paws. "There was a story once," she began quietly, "of half-Clan kits. Their mother wouldn't fight the father's Clan, and of course the father wouldn't fight the mother's Clan either, lest he harm his mate or kits. The fear was that when the kits grew up, they would find their loyalty torn between two Clans. This is exactly why it's forbidden to have a mate in another Clan. So the kits were given to a queen in a third Clan to raise."

Hollypaw stared. The kits - innocent kits - taken away -

"But that's awful!" she gasped. "The kits hadn't done anything!"

Squirrelflight looked surprised. "It wasn't a punishment," she began, and then paused. "Well, it wasn't a punishment for them. It was probably meant to be a punishment for the parents, too, now that I think of it...but it was meant to be for the kits, so their loyalty wouldn't be divided between two Clans."

"That doesn't make sense!" Hollypaw's fur bristled as she snapped at her aunt in outrage and sympathy on behalf of these long-ago, long-dead, half-Clan kits, their names and details of their lives forgotten, relegated to nothing more than aspects of a cautionary tale. Don't fall in love with a cat from another Clan, lest your kits be taken from you. "Then their loyalty would be divided between three Clans!"

"They were very young," Squirrelflight answered. "They'd forgotten their past in half a moon. Their foster mother raised them like her own. I don't think they even knew the truth until they were apprenticed. The decision had been made for them; it was decided that this was what was best to do, in the circumstances."

"Not by the parents," Hollypaw muttered.

Parents should be the ones to decide what would happen to their kits. Not leaders who had a responsibility to the Clan as a whole, beyond the well-being of individual cats; who were naturally somewhat removed from the cats they led; who, no matter how well-meaning, were bound by StarClan to follow every law in the warrior code to the letter, with no room for deviation.

The trouble was that the warrior code had no provisions for what to do when it was broken. And it would be broken, for good or ill, always by those who had an extremely good reason for doing so. The warrior code had been painstakingly crafted together over the seasons by leaders and deputies and medicine cats and ordinary warriors, who had learned through hard experience that this was the best way to protect the Clans. The rules could be harsh, but they were fair, applying equally to everyone, and they made sense.

But the best way was not the only way, fairness was no consolation, and logic wasn't even a single glinting star compared to the blazing sun of emotion, as her own parents' guilty love told her, the stories they told, the whispered conversations, the dreams and nightmares relayed by her brother - now she knew how he'd so accurately known every detail; he'd actually seen it - the nervous restlessness on the most peaceful of days, the insistence that Clan life was better than the life of a loner, despite what it had cost them.

Friends.

Respect.

And most important of all...

She met Squirrelflight's eyes. Kin.