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The melodic and warm tones of the guitar fill the room, sunlight streaming through the window, basking the boy in an ethereal light. Beomgyu's face when he's concentrating on his composing is so endearing to Taehyun. From the way he looks so gentle, to the way that sometimes, his tongue will accidentally stick out, or the way that his face lights up when he finds the sound he wants.
"What are you doing, hyung?" Taehyun asks, smiling at his friend from his desk opposite Beomgyu.
"Oh... I'm writing a song for my crush!" Beomgyu smiles shyly, looking down and biting his lip.
"Oh."
Taehyun's smile drops.
They've been friends since junior high school; Beomgyu's bright and loud personality bursting into Taehyun's quiet and calm world. Sometimes Taehyun wonders why Beomgyu ever chose to become friends with him, of all people. Taehyun was the complete opposite of Beomgyu. From the very first day, he kept to himself and his studies, avoiding talking to people where he didn't need to. And yet, Beomgyu came up to him and asked him to be his friend. While Taehyun tried his best to avoid the energetic child, even he couldn't ignore the latter's persistence in eating with him and sitting next to him in class. Even now, he still remembers the way that Beomgyu's face lit up as Taehyun finally agreed to eating lunch ("Only this time."), pumping a fist as he says, "Finally!"
Somewhere along the way, he started to enjoy his presence and finding out every little detail to one Choi Beomgyu. Taehyun would describe being friends with Beomgyu as "easy listening", with no pun intended. Beomgyu's contrasting loud personality meant that Taehyun could spend countless times just listening to his hyung (He always preferred listening to people over talking himself), and Beomgyu wouldn't even be bothered about it. But of course, Beomgyu never failed to let Taehyun speak as well. It was different to other people. Beomgyu made him feel comfortable where talking with other people felt stressful and Taehyun could feel too much pressure. Beomgyu always left comfortable silences, and he asked questions so that Taehyun was never left panicking about how to continue the conversation. Being with Beomgyu is easy.
The only hard part about being with Beomgyu is trying to hide his obvious crush on his hyung. Like many people, he can't pinpoint when he started to fall in love with Beomgyu. It just happened, or so they say. He noticed Beomgyu's handsome visual features more, and he never failed to cheer up at Beomgyu's joyful and spontaneous personality. He found comfort in Beomgyu because Beomgyu was accepting and welcoming, and he never judged. While spending time with his hyung brings him happiness, it also makes him long for more in their relationship.
He ponders taking their relationship further - being not 'just friends' - and decides that it only exists in his dreams. Taehyun loves Beomgyu too much to push that on him and risk everything. Sure, Taehyun has never seen Beomgyu particularly romantically interested in anyone - which he finds fascinating, considering Beomgyu is quite open, and he can hardly keep secrets from Taehyun - but they've built up a friendship over the years that has become the most important thing to Taehyun. He treasures the 'now', even if it means hiding his blushes with excuses of the weather, or resisting the urge to kiss the perfect boy in front of him. Taehyun is content, and he convinces himself that he doesn't need anything else, for fear of losing the only comfort and home he has.
When Beomgyu mentions writing a song for his crush, Taehyun feels his chest tighten and his lips tremble. Beomgyu has never mentioned anything about a crush before, let alone looked interested in anyone. Who could he possibly like, and how did Taehyun not notice it? He swallows his feelings of jealousy and clenches his fists.
"That's great, hyung! I'm sure you'll make an amazing song."
Later, after Beomgyu has gone home, Taehyun realises that it's probably the first song Beomgyu has written. He's done covers and mindless chord progressions before, but never actually written a song. Taehyun feels the tears well up as he curls up in bed, thinking of Beomgyu's crush, who will be the first to hear his written songs.
'It won't be me. Of course not, I'm not important enough for that privilege. Not even after all these years of friendship.' The voices in Taehyun's head whisper.
For the first time, Taehyun allows himself to cry to sleep as he thinks of his Beomgyu-hyung with the golden, sun-speckled face and laughter like chiming bells. Beomgyu-hyung who will never be his, and who will never see Taehyun as anything more than a friend. Beomgyu-hyung who will probably leave him for someone else, and who won't be Taehyun's home anymore.
Being with Beomgyu-hyung becomes harder in a way that Taehyun didn't expect. He steeled himself, convinced himself that he wouldn't let this newfound knowledge ruin their friendship, and that he would ignore it and continue acting like normal. But nothing is ever as easy, especially not when you've just had your heart broken.
Taehyun spaces out a lot more ("I'm just tired, hyung."), he sometimes turns down Beomgyu when invited to hang out ("I've got homework to do.") because he's afraid of letting something slip, and his curiosity also makes him watch out for when Beomgyu interacts with other people.
Finding out Beomgyu's crush is hard, seeing as Beomgyu is a social butterfly and also popular. It could be literally anyone. Taehyun may be Beomgyu's best friend and the one he spends the most time with, but Beomgyu has other friends, too.
Beomgyu notices the change in Taehyun's behaviour and confronts him about it when they're walking home together one day.
"What's up? You're not being yourself these days, Taehyun-ah."
Taehyun flinches slightly at the question. He's tried so hard to act normal, but of course Beomgyu would notice. They've been friends for four years now.
"It's nothing, hyung. I'm just tired and stressed, that's all." Taehyun laughs nervously.
"That's a load of crap, and you know that I know it. Why are you lying to me? Do you not trust me?" Beomgyu accuses.
"Hyung, of course I trust you! Please, just leave it."
"What can be so wrong that you can't tell me about it? Is it your family? Is someone bullying you at school? I can help you-" Beomgyu reaches out.
"No, you can't!" Taehyun slaps Beomgyu's hand away.
It leaves the two of them in shock for a few seconds.
"Hyung, you wouldn't understand."
"Well, help me to understand, then! Aren't we best friends?! Since when do you keep secrets from me?" Beomgyu raises his voice.
"Since when did you keep secrets from me?! All of a sudden, you've got this crush you're writing a song for, and I never even knew! Don't preach to me about keeping secrets when you're the one who started it!" Taehyun shouts, tears pricking his eyes.
"Hyunnie, please, it's not like that-" Beomgyu pleads.
"Forget it! I don't want to hear your excuses! Just leave me alone, please." Taehyun sighs as he runs home.
Beomgyu clenches his fists as he watches Taehyun shrink in the distance.
"Damn it! If only he could just wait a little longer..."
The next day, Taehyun doesn't drop by Beomgyu's house to wake him up, and he isn't waiting outside for Beomgyu either. It's hard, but he ignores Beomgyu as best as he can, bitterly thinking back to their first days together. Beomgyu persists as always, saying that he'll explain, or making attempts to apologise, but when he sees a tear trickle down Taehyun's cheek, he knows to back off.
They last a week before they're crashing into each other at a corner, rubbing their heads and fallen on their bottoms.
"Ouch!"
"Beomgyu-hyung?"
"Hyunnie? Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry! Are you okay? Did you get hurt? Did-"
"Calm down, hyung." Taehyun laughs at Beomgyu's familiar rambling. "I'm fine. How about you?"
"I-I'm fine!" Beomgyu stands up before helping Taehyun up. "Where are you running off to?"
"Actually, hyung, I was heading to your place." Taehyun scratches his neck.
"Really? I was going to yours."
They burst out in giggles and laughter, smiling at each other for the first time that week.
"Hyung, I-" "Hyunnie, I-" They awkwardly start together, bursting into more giggles afterwards.
"Sorry, hyung, you can go first."
"Okay. Hyunnie, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have shouted at you and accused you and said all those horrible things and I hated being apart from you and I knew I had to give you time but then I just really missed you and-" Beomgyu's rambling is cut off when Taehyun cups his cheeks.
"It's okay, hyung. I really missed you too." Taehyun smiles. "And I'm sorry too. I've just uhh... been going through some things. But it's okay now, I promise! So I came to say sorry to you as well."
Beomgyu wraps the younger in a tight hug, feeling the other's arms wrap around his waist .
"Thank goodness! I don't know if I could ever go even a day without you, Taehyun-ah!"
"Oh please, you were fine! You have so many other friends."
"Yeah, but, they're different! You're special, Hyunnie."
'What the-' Taehyun mentally curses at Beomgyu. 'Calm down, Taehyun. It doesn't mean anything. He's just being nice. You're just his best friend that he really missed a lot.'
Nothing calms his erratic heartbeat and the warmth he feels across his cheeks.
Beomgyu is back at his house one afternoon with his guitar, practising his song again, after Taehyun reluctantly agreed when the older had asked if Taehyun could listen to his progress.
'I can do this. Don't screw things up again. It's just listening to his song.' Taehyun thinks as another voice whispers, 'A song that isn't for you.'
Beomgyu has made quite a lot of progress, but he only lets Taehyun hear the introduction and some of the first verse.
"Hyung, it's beautiful." Taehyun says. He can't find the words to describe it.
"Really? Is there anything you'd change? Anything you don't like? Tell me anything!" Beomgyu rambles.
"Calm down, hyung." Taehyun chuckles. "It sounds great. I'm sure your crush will like it. And if they don't, they're deaf and they don't deserve you."
Beomgyu laughs. "That's good to hear."
"By the way, hyung, who is your crush?"
Taehyun didn't think he'd actually ask the question. He's considered it, and he's decided before that he wouldn't be able to stay and listen to Beomgyu gushing about this person he likes. But curiosity overtakes him since he's been wracking his brain for so long, trying to figure out who it is.
Beomgyu pauses, ears growing pink, like they do when he's embarrassed. He bites his lip as he stops to think.
"He's really cute. Quiet, but always listening and always putting others before himself. He's really smart, but sometimes he's so oblivious and dumb, it's funny." Beomgyu laughs. "And he's got the voice of an angel, and I hope he can sing my song with me."
As he's listening, Taehyun feels his chest tighten and his heart ache with every word, piercing into his heart. He finds it so endearing to watch Beomgyu talk with such fondness, but he's quickly reminded that Beomgyu's not talking about him, as much as he wishes he would.
"Wait, 'he'?" Taehyun blurts.
"Yeah, why?" Beomgyu's not offended - Taehyun was the first to know he was bi, back in their second year of junior high school, while Taehyun admitted he was gay.
"N-Nothing. I'm just trying to figure out who it is." Taehyun chuckles nervously. At least he's narrowed it down to a 'he'.
Taehyun drops the topic after that, not wanting to pressure Beomgyu if he doesn't want to share his crush. That, and, he doesn't want to hear anything more about Beomgyu's crush, since it will only hurt him more.
"Hey Hyunnie, can I come over again today?" Beomgyu asks as they walk towards the school gate.
"Yeah, of course. You don't need to ask for permission, silly." Taehyun chuckles.
"I-I was just checking!" Beomgyu stutters.
As they're walking, Taehyun notices the older is more fidgety and stutters, as if he's nervous about something.
"Hyung, are you okay? You're acting weird today." Taehyun asks.
"Y-Yeah, I'm fine! Perfectly fine."
'Calm down, Choi Beomgyu!' Beomgyu mentally reprimands himself. 'It'll be fine. You've worked so hard for this. He's going to love it, remember?'
As they enter Taehyun's room, Beomgyu immediately puts his bag down and takes out his guitar.
'So that's why he wanted to come over.' Taehyun sighs in his mind. 'I should have known.'
Taehyun sits down on his desk, opposite Beomgyu on his bed, about to take out his books when Beomgyu interrupts his thoughts.
"Hey Hyunnie. I finally finished the song!" Beomgyu beams. "Do you want to listen to it?"
Taehyun feels the pang in his chest. Beomgyu's finished the song. The song for his crush. The song that's not for him. So why would Beomgyu want him to hear it?
"But hyung, isn't it for your crush? Why would I be the first to hear it?" Taehyun questions, trying not to let his voice crack.
"I-I want you to hear it first! You know, to check that it's good!" Beomgyu laughs nervously.
Taehyun forces a smile, like he's done so many times before in the presence of his crush. He clenches his fists, swallows his feelings, and ignores the ache in his chest.
"Of course, hyung. Anything for you."
The familiar introduction plays out, Beomgyu's delicate hands picking away, creating the soft melody that Taehyun has grown to love in the past month. Even if it isn't for him, Taehyun can't deny the fact that he loves Beomgyu's song already. He knew it from the first note, that he would love this song. His first written song is special to him, so of course Taehyun will love it, and he'll dream that it's for him.
Soon, Beomgyu transitions into the first verse, his husky and honey voice filling the room.
Days of sunlight, nights of starlight,
Everything's perfect, because you're my light
Days without you mean nothing
What are my days when I can't hear you sing?
Days of laughter, days of tears
Baby, will you be mine for years?
Days with you are all I need
I've only got eyes for you, indeed
When I'm with you, I'm home
Nothing else compares
Let me love you, and I promise
I'll spend all my days with you
Together forever, just me and you
The sound of the last chord rings out as Beomgyu looks up again, smiling. He's finally done it. He faintly recognises that he's crying, probably because he has poured his heart and his feelings into this one song that he finally got to sing for Taehyun. But he certainly didn't expect Taehyun to be crying by the first line. Did he know? Surely, he would have figured it out. That the song is for him.
Taehyun registers that the song is over, and he quickly wipes his tears, ignoring the emptiness in his heart.
"Hyung, that was really beautiful. So beautiful it made me cry!" Taehyun chuckles, although his heart hurts and all he wants to do is run away and cry alone.
Some part of him wonders why Beomgyu is crying by the end of it, but he supposes that Beomgyu is feeling emotional about his finally completed song, and thinking of his crush who will get to hear it the next time he plays it. Taehyun feels his chest growing tighter. He feels the sobs threatening to come back out. He feels his lips tremble and his throat swelling up, and he knows he has to get out of there.
"I-I've got to go to the bathroom. I'll be back, hyung." Taehyun chokes out, turning away to head out and hiding his already spilling tears.
"Hyunnie, wait-" Beomgyu puts his guitar aside and reaches out for Taehyun's arm.
"I just need a moment, hyung! If you're looking for feedback, then I'm sure your crush will love the song." Taehyun's voice cracks as he runs for the door.
"What?" Beomgyu grabs Taehyun's wrist in time.
"Hyung, let me go. I'll just be a few minutes."
"Stop. Taehyunnie, what did you say?"
Taehyun struggles to release himself from Beomgyu's grip, using his other hand to help, when suddenly, he's pulled in by Beomgyu and locked in place as Beomgyu wraps his other arm around Taehyun's waist.
"Did you just say that my crush would love it?" Beomgyu asks seriously.
"Yes, now would you please let me go and cry in peace?!" Taehyun struggles once more, tears streaming down his face.
"Hyunnie, it's you."
"What? What do you mean?" Taehyun asks, confused.
"Taehyun, you're my crush."
Taehyun stops in that moment, and he doesn't know what to think. What did Beomgyu just say? That he was Beomgyu's crush? He can't process anything, and then Beomgyu cups his hands around Taehyun's face and he's too close and everything is overwhelming and he's still crying.
"Calm down, Hyunnie. Just breathe." Beomgyu says, noticing Taehyun's panicked state. "I-I'm sorry. I've ruined everything, haven't I?"
"What?" Taehyun blurts.
"I guess I got too confident, huh? It's okay, we can still be friends right?" Beomgyu's voice breaks this time as he drops his hands.
"Beomgyu, what do you mean?"
"You're rejecting me, right? That's why you're crying. But please, Hyunnie, can we still be friends? I-I'm sorry if it's weird and you're disgusted, but please. Don't leave me." Beomgyu sobs.
"Are you kidding me?"
Everything finally clicks in Taehyun's head, thoughts coming together like pieces of a puzzle, and suddenly, he understands. This whole time, it was him. All the times he wished Beomgyu was writing a song for him, all the times he wished Beomgyu would look at him the way he did to him - they were true. And in that moment, Taehyun knows exactly what he has to do.
He cups Beomgyu's face as he crashes his lips on the other's, closing his eyes as Beomgyu kisses back. Beomgyu's lips are soft, and their kiss is mixed with the taste of their tears, tongues desperate to taste each other. His hands move to grip Beomgyu's neck and tug his hair, and he feels Beomgyu's hands travel under his shirt.
Their kiss is filled with years of longing and pining, and filled with an aggressive passion that becomes addicting. It's filled with desperation, as if they'll never get another moment, and filled with the relief and warmth that they finally belong to each other.
They finally part to breathe, gasping and panting for air, as if they forgot that breathing was a thing. When they rest their foreheads together, they naturally come together for a second kiss, this time more sweet and slow, made to savour every second.
"What the heck just happened?" Beomgyu is speechless, arms wrapped around Taehyun's waist.
"Hyung, I'm in love with you." Taehyun smiles.
Beomgyu has always been weak for Taehyun's smiles, but this particular one makes his heart blossom with warmth and pride, and he feels the relief wash over him, his heart no longer having to deal with the fake heart break from before.
Taehyun pulls Beomgyu onto the bed with him, caressing Beomgyu's hands in warmth as they sit facing each other.
"This whole time... I thought your crush was someone else." Taehyun explains. "And you have no idea how much that hurt my heart. The fact that my beloved hyung was going to leave me for someone else."
"Yeah, leave you for you." Beomgyu chuckles. "I'm sorry, Hyunnie. I caused you so much pain and heart break, didn't I?"
"It's okay. I know now."
"I... I just wanted to write a song for you. But I wanted it to be a somewhat surprise. And I thought you'd pick up the hints, all the times I asked you if you liked the song, and even the time when I described my crush. But clearly, you're oblivious and dumb like I said you are." Beomgyu laughs as Taehyun hits him.
"S-Shut up! I seriously thought there was some secret senior you had a crush on, or someone else you were hanging out with! You literally know half, if not most of the school population." Taehyun pouts.
"Oh, baby, I'm sorry." Beomgyu pulls Taehyun in for a hug, causing him to blush a furious red. "But didn't the song make it kind of obvious? I mean, who else do I spend every day with?"
"I guess that's true." Taehyun mentally smacks himself. "The song was so beautiful. I loved it, even from the first note, hyung. I knew it would be a masterpiece, and what do you know? My dreams came true, and it's actually for me."
"I'm so glad you liked it, Hyunnie. I really do love you, and I hope that you understand from the song." Beomgyu takes Taehyun's hands in his. "Hyunnie, I love you so much. I love all of our days together, and I can't wait for more. I want to spend every second of every day with you. I don't know what I would do with you. Kang Taehyun, will you be my boyfriend?"
Taehyun feels the tears well up again, and he smiles wide and bright. "Yes, Choi Beomgyu."
They share another sweet kiss after that, and another, and another, and another. They wrap their arms around each other, cuddling and basking in each other's warmth, finally able to call each other home. This is where they belong. This night sparks the beginning of their promise. To be together for the rest of their days.
Beomgyu's other wish comes true that night.
After cuddling and kissing so much - it's all they've wanted to do after years of pining - Taehyun remembers something he has to do.
"Hyung, can you play your song again?"
"Of course, Hyunnie. Anything for you, angel."
"Teach me how to sing it. That's what you wanted your crush to do, right?"
"Hmm, that's true... But you're not my crush." Beomgyu deadpans.
"What?" Taehyun asks, confused.
"You're my boyfriend." Beomgyu giggles.
"Oh my goodness, hyung, you scared me." Taehyun smacks Beomgyu lightly. "Teach it to me until I can harmonise with you."
"Oh, Hyunnie, that'd be a dream come true." Beomgyu smiles fondly.
And so, the sounds of the guitar and two melodic voices fill the room, replay after replay, until all they can think of is the song that ties them together. The song that brought them home, to each other. Their song.