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“You’re not alone,” Wang Lu tells him.
He tells Hai Yunfan that the first time he knocks on his door. He tells him that on the golden bridge, when they’re sinking into sand, and after he drags Hai Yunfan away from an angry rhino.
Hai Yunfan, he finds, doesn’t listen very well. He doesn’t listen when Zhu Qin catches them in the library, but he’s also a terrible liar, and no one believes him when he tries to take the blame for it. For someone who never hesitates to listen to Wang Lu’s complaints and dramatic retellings of his genius strategies, Hai Yunfan stubbornly doesn’t listen when it comes to himself.
Maybe it’s Wang Lu’s fault though. “I’ll wait for you in the rain,” he says, and the lighting on Hai Yunfan’s expression is suddenly too soft. It’s too genuine for something Wang Lu came up with as a joke.
He tries to make up for it later with, “We’ll annihilate Junhuang Sect together,” but he soon realizes that it’s much more complicated than he’d imagined. There’s too much hatred in Hai Yunfan’s eyes when he speaks of demons, and it’s consuming in a way that Wang Lu doesn’t want to see in him. You’re too kind for that, he wants to say.
Instead, Wang Lu promises him, “I’ll exceed my master someday. I’ll be even more powerful than her.”
It gets to his head when the time comes to choose teams for training, and he drapes an arm around Hai Yunfan’s shoulders. “I’ll lose on purpose so you can win,” he winks. He knows Hai Yunfan well enough now to not be disappointed when he tries to convince Wang Lu not to team up with him, but he wonders, you can’t tell that there’s no one I like more than you?
The only other two people he talks to are Wen Bao and Wang Wu, but shouldn’t it be clear that he spends more time with Hai Yunfan than anyone else? Is he not obvious enough already?
“We’re family,” he says before the four of them leave Lingjian Mountain. Going home is exciting and nostalgic when he sees familiar faces and colorful, dyed cloth hanging in the streets, but then Qianling Cult makes a mess out of his hometown, Wang Lu dresses up as a girl, and Xiao Liuli’s father turns out to be the last boss.
Hai Yunfan forgets about Ye Li, and it makes Wang Lu’s heart ache in a way that he doesn’t quite want to understand. It doesn’t feel like they’ve won.
But maybe that doesn’t matter right now because seeing his parents throws a stone into the already turbulent waters of his mind. Enough time has passed that he doesn’t think about the other world as much anymore, but he still misses it.
Even so, in this world, he has parents too. Parents who raised him and care for him even when he’s different from everyone else. Maybe the least that he could do is to stay and to get married.
He doesn’t really want to get married though.
It makes Hai Yunfan angry, which Wang Lu didn’t expect to see. Spending time with his parents, eating home-cooked meals—it’s nice, and Wang Lu thinks for a moment that he really doesn’t miss Hai Yunfan and Wen Bao. The promises that he made are stacked neatly in a pile in the back of his mind. No one said that transmigration had to be interesting. This kind of rarely found peace makes him feel numb inside, as though nothing could possibly upset him.
It turns out that Xiao Lan didn’t want him anyway. Crying while eating is not a great idea, and his parents are really…the best.
Maybe next time, all four of them can visit together again. Hai Yunfan seems like the type to be terrible at making dumplings. It would be fun to see.
Teasing Hai Yunfan and Wen Bao for waiting for him comes naturally, and the unspoken apology disappears from his mind. They deserve a break, but Jiyang City ends up being some god-forsaken place that doesn’t serve meat dishes. And Lady Boss is getting married?
Wang Lu knows he’s probably biased because of his own recent near miss with marriage, but then they do find something wrong with the Xue brothers. They’re demons, and Hai Yunfan cannot find out.
He does find out.
Hai Yunfan is too stubborn and too perceptive to have missed it. The vicious animosity in Hai Yunfan’s words makes Wang Lu want to shake him and demand, why can’t you see? You’re better than this.
He’s not cruel enough to point out the real reason though. Hai Yunfan must have loved his brother more than anything if it’s easier for him to accept that all demons are inherently evil than to believe Hai Tiankuo betrayed him.
Still, Hai Yunfan’s pain is heartless, and he doesn’t listen as Wang Lu explains that they have no evidence, that there’s no reason to conclude Xue Boren is kidnapping people—that Hai Yunfan is wrong.
“What if I’m a demon?” Wang Lu voice tightens with anger. “Would you kill me?”
“Then, are you a demon?” Hai Yunfan asks him, and it makes Wang Lu’s stomach twist—to see those gentle and kind eyes look so callous.
“Why are you here alone? Where’s Xiao Hai?” Lady Boss will ask him later.
He is obvious then. It’s too bad the only person who really needs to notice hasn’t. It’s really a lot of work for someone who doesn’t notice.
But Hai Yunfan comes back injured, and all of Wang Lu’s soreness over their argument disappears. It’s replaced with worry, and he should have known Hai Yunfan’s impulsive character setting would rear its ugly head. “What were you thinking going off on your own?” He adds bitterly, “You’re obviously going to fail without me.”
Hai Yunfan glares and snaps back, “Didn’t you say they were good demons?”
He wasn’t even mad anymore and hearing that somehow makes warmth bloom in his chest. “So, you coming with us tomorrow or not?”
“I’ll go,” Hai Yunfan tells him.
Sect Leader Zuo is all smiles and eloquent words when they show up, and it makes Wang Lu’s skin crawl. There’s obviously something wrong with his sect, but there’s not enough to convince Hai Yunfan.
They argue, and it seems as though that’s all that they’ve been doing recently. Wang Lu doesn’t want Hai Yunfan to leave again—not like this. But he does; even after Wang Lu tries to convince him to stay.
“Sometimes, liking someone can lead to a falling out,” Wang Lu tells him. “Other times, arguing can lead to sparks flying.” He carefully rests his hand on Hai Yunfan’s shoulder, tapping his finger lightly. “Don’t you think so?” It’s only after he says it that he realizes how ridiculously fond he sounds.
Hai Yunfan breathes in sharply, and the anger flickers out in his eyes. Whatever he’s searching for in Wang Lu’s face seems to trouble him, and Hai Yunfan pushes his hand off. “I just don’t understand you.”
Wang Lu smiles bitterly as Hai Yunfan leaves, because it’s not true. He wouldn’t have left if he didn’t understand.
It's a bit more painful that way.
Wen Bao returns later with a very drunk Hai Yunfan in tow, and they rescue Lady Boss from the Yushou sect.
But then, Lady Boss’ identity as a fox demon is revealed, and Xue Boren almost dies.
Things shouldn’t have turned out this way, and it makes Wang Lu angry—furious—on their behalf. It leaves a festering ache in his chest as he watches his master cry in the newly ownerless courtyard that is still decorated in festive, red wedding colors.
The cold, dispassionate gaze that Hai Yunfan levels at him catches him off guard, and Wang Lu is too miserable to apologize.
“If you knew Ling’er was a fox demon, it would have put you in a difficult situation.” His gaze slides to the grain of the wood table. “I didn’t want you to have to deal with that.”
“You’re wrong,” Hai Yunfan says sharply, standing abruptly. “It wouldn’t be difficult.” His voice is suddenly scathing, and Wang Lu has never seen him look this hurt. “I wouldn’t consider a demon to be my friend.”
Something in Wang Lu snaps. “Are real feelings less important to you than meaningless sentiments?”
“The most real feeling I have is hatred towards demons.”
It’s not right. Wang Lu isn’t saying the right words. He’s not—there has to be something, something better. But it’s so easy to give in to this pain that has burrowed into his heart. It’s so easy to believe Hai Yunfan’s words. The time that we’ve spent together—did it not mean anything to you?
“Are you really going to leave because of something so insignificant?”
Hai Yunfan shakes his head. “It’s not insignificant to me.”
“Take care of yourself,” Hai Yunfan tells him.
Wang Lu doesn’t manage to say anything back.
Returning to Lingjian Mountain feels meaningless without Hai Yunfan. When he thinks back to their excitement at the beginning of training, it seems so pathetically optimistic. Who did he even leave Lingjian Mountain for in the first place? What is there left here for him to return to?
Climbing a mountain is obviously harder than going down one, but that doesn’t mean it needs to hurt this much.
Wang Lu feels…lonely. It’s because Wang Wu is standing in as sect leader. It’s because Wen Bao has a crush on Yue Xinyao. It’s because Wang Lu has this huge, gaping hole in his heart that has ‘Hai Yunfan’ written all over it.
It doesn’t help that Hai Yunfan completely disappears off the face of the earth. The only clue Wang Lu has points to a flying city in the sky, and when the Fabulous Five Conference rolls around, he sends Wen Bao in to find Hai Yunfan.
Du Songzi passes the Truth Sword’s trial with flying colors, and Wang Lu’s world crashes and burns when a man wearing a white mask points out the biggest flaw in his plan.
The mask looks like one of those cheap ones that you’re supposed to paint over for Halloween, and really? They’re introducing a new character right now?
His mind is full of denial as he glares at the emotionless figure. There’s something achingly familiar about him, and the sword suspended above Wang Lu’s head suddenly feels as though it’ll plow right through him.
“Who are you?” he demands, and dread fills him as the mask is lifted away.
His hair looks different. It’s kind of a random thing to focus on, but everything else comes with implications that Wang Lu doesn’t want to think about.
The sword in his hand, the black and white robes he’s clothed in, the red mark on his forehead that is different from Wang Lu’s own—none of these matter.
Wang Lu grabs Hai Yunfan’s hand. “They threatened you, right?”
No, what matters most is the disdain in Hai Yunfan’s eyes as he brushes Wang Lu’s hands away. “You’re wrong. I chose this.”
The feeble restraint that Wang Lu has built up crumbles away. “We’ve been through so much together,” he says harshly. “How can you betray Lingjian Mountain?”
“You wouldn’t understand. People with different principles have no common ground.”
Wang Lu’s heart sinks with disappointment, and he hauls Hai Yunfan sharply forward. “For the sake of revenge, you’re willing to abandon our friendship?”
Hai Yunfan voice fills with contempt. “What can friendship do for me? Friendship is worthless.”
Friendship really is worthless. Wang Lu is inclined to agree when Hai Yunfan’s hand strikes his chest and pain tears through him. There’s blood dripping from his chin as he smiles up at Hai Yunfan.
It’s too bad Wang Lu’s friendship has long since changed into something even more worthless.
Hai Yunfan finds him later, and very predictably, doesn’t listen. He doesn’t listen when Wang Lu tells him it’s too dangerous. The taste of alcohol on Wang Lu’s tongue turns bittersweet, like the relief that fills the hollow space in his chest.
They foil Shuiyue’s plans, and suddenly Hai Yunfan is back. The soft smile on his face is a familiar one, and it settles Wang Lu’s wandering doubts.
His elation is short-lived when his master is taken away by Hai Tiankuo. It doesn’t make sense—none of it does. Hai Tiankuo is too powerful for them to defeat, and he traps them all too easily.
Wang Lu’s words are too careless when he pleads to Hai Yunfan. “You know Junhuang Mountain’s spells better than anyone. There must be a way to break out!” He’s too careless because Hai Yunfan slices his palm open and shatters the barriers with a technique he shouldn’t have ever touched. He’s too careless because he leaves him behind to save his master.
Driven by resentment built up from a century of hatred, Hai Tiankuo resurrects Ouyang Shang. Ouyang Shang, Wang Lu comes to realize, was someone who made promises he couldn’t keep. He’s also a rude trespasser who takes Wang Lu’s body for a spin to almost kill Hai Tiankuo, and then leaves Wang Lu to pick up the pieces.
“Make her happy every day,” Ouyang Shang asks of him.
The wishes of a ghost are hard to fulfill, and the pieces of his master’s heart aren’t for him to pick up. Nothing Wang Lu says seems to make a difference.
He’s so caught up that he doesn’t see the intent in Hai Yunfan’s lingering gaze when Wang Lu notices him staring.
“I have something to tell you,” Hai Yunfan says to him.
Wang Lu didn’t expect to hear those words again.
“I wanted to bid you farewell.”
Unease creeps into his limbs like branching frost, and he stands helplessly as Hai Yunfan carefully unravels every lifeline Wang Lu clings onto to keep him from leaving.
Hai Yunfan has thought about this. This isn’t the same as their arguments.
“Wang Lu.” Hai Yunfan’s tone is stern, but his voice is gentle, and more than anything, kind. “Don’t you get it? We’re not going in the same direction. We’re not on the same path.”
“All of this is because of that Qianyuan Ranxue technique, isn’t it?” Wang Lu says desperately. “That’s not even a big deal. There’s no need for—”
“It’s far too late for me to turn back!” Hai Yunfan shouts, and Wang Lu feels as though he's been pierced through the chest by a sword.
“What are you talking about?” Wang Lu demands. “You just want revenge on Hai Tiankuo, right? I’ll go with you.”
“No. This is something I must do alone.”
Something brittle and fragile in Wang Lu shatters, because he’s suddenly certain that Hai Yunfan’s decision cannot be changed.
“We’re the best team,” Wang Lu tries. “I’ll help you.”
“You can’t help me,” Hai Yunfan tells him. “If I stay with you…I’ll change.” His voice wavers. “I’ll become kind,” he breathes. “I’ll lose the motivation to seek revenge.”
Hai Yunfan’s sleeve is so solid under Wang Lu’s trembling fingers. His hair is warm when he pulls Wang Lu into his arms. His breath tickles Wang Lu’s shoulder as he promises him, “I’ll come find you.”
He’s so real, but why does it feel like he’ll break if Wang Lu reaches for him?
Wang Lu’s wrong. He’s never been right. It’s not Hai Yunfan who doesn’t listen.
It’s Wang Lu who can’t bear to be without him.
Wang Wu slaps him when he kisses her. “I’m too good for the dramatic love triangle you’re trying to pull me into,” she tells him. “You’re not much of a catch anyway.”
Wang Lu scowls, but his heart isn’t in it. “You’re such a terrible liar.”
“I’ll be fine without you,” she tells him after he apologizes. “Go after him.”
So, he does. He’s done waiting for Hai Yunfan.
Xiao Hai, no matter where you go, I’ll find you, and I’ll bring you back home.