Work Text:
James Bond was annoyed. Since when did someone of his caliber get stuck with a milk run of a mission to obtain documentation? He was relatively confident that he hadn’t upset the “powers that be” with his last outing. The job had been completed successfully, nothing had blown up, and he had even returned most of his equipment intact. He automatically swept his hotel room for bugs, noting in passing one obvious and another not so obvious points of egress, then engaged his communications.
“So, where am I meeting the informant tomorrow? That briefing was a bit vague,” He started in without preamble as soon as the line engaged.
“Intentionally vague 007,” Q responded almost immediately.
Interesting Bond thought. Maybe this wasn’t as simple a mission as it looked. Q only tended to run his missions from the start when the risk level was high or the security level was higher. It remained to be seen whether this was the former, the latter, or both.
“My contact didn’t want anything set up until the absolute last minute. They are a touch paranoid.”
High security, Bond concluded. It also sounded like Q knew the informant.
“It isn’t paranoia if someone actually is after you.”
“True, but I’ve not found any indication of that sort of interest. Given the informant’s background I suspect it’s ingrained habit.”
“Ah.”
Ex-intelligence, grey or black hat hacker, criminal; the possibilities were numerous.
“The meet is set for 11:30 at Scarborough Town Center. It’s a mall on the east side of Toronto.”
“A mall? Really?”
Bond mentally downgraded the mission’s risk level another notch.
“The contact would stand out in one of your normal haunts. I know you will be able to come up with something that blends in.”
Bond decided to grumble a bit in a bid for more information.
“So far it sounds like a set up in a bad romantic comedy or maybe a grade B spy movie.”
Q laughed.
“If you think that, you are really going to like the contact protocol then.”
Given the sarcastic tone in Q’s voice Bond was positive the protocol was going to be something absolutely ludicrous. Bond sighed.
“First you are going to need a sprig of Parsley. You’ll be exchanging it for the thumb drive at the meet. You’ll also need to visit the Bath and Body Works store in the mall after 11 and purchase some of their sage & rosemary hand lotion. Use a bit of the lotion and go to meet the informant outside the jewelry store in the east corner of the mall. It’s the one with the Rolex displayed in the window case.”
Bond sighed and fought the urge to bang his head on something.
“Really?”
“Oh yes,” Q responded with a hint of amusement in his voice. “The protocol is Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Time.”