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“What does this mean?”
“Well, I know what I think it means,” Margaery replies with that knowing, pitying look that makes her want to vomit. “Why don’t you ask him though? I’m sure he’d never lie to you.”
Margaery’s tone is nothing short of scathing. She’s never liked Jon, never thought he was good enough for Sansa (maybe because he's never been impressed by her like the other men who fall at the Tyrell girl's feet.)
Their friendship had already been on the rocks before Sansa started dating Jon last year and now, it’s barely a friendship at all. Jon’s not to blame for that. They were once friends but there’s been too many times where Margaery has rattled her faith and trust and left her emotionally bruised to call it friendship anymore. Sansa’s not sure she wants to continue the acquaintance even. The fracture between the two young women had begun well before Sansa had looked at Jon Snow as anything more than Robb’s friend.
Why’d she agree to this lunch today?
And why did she have to witness her boyfriend coming out of the jewelry shop across the street with another woman when she was with Margaery of all people?!
He’d said he had to work all day though. What was he doing downtown at the jewelry shop if he had to work all day?
She watches them walk down the street, chatting amiably, oblivious to her hurt and confusion.
“I’m sure there’s an explanation,” her faith reasons.
“Hmmm, I'm sure," Margaery says, the embodiment of Doubt. "Do you know her?” she prods next, her lips twitching.
Sansa nods slowly. “Yes, that’s Alys. She’s a friend of Jon’s from university.”
Alright, Jon had admitted he and Alys had dated briefly back then but it was never anything serious. It was ages ago and they’re just friends now. Meanwhile, his friend from university has her arm looped around Jon’s as they share a laugh.
“They seem quite chummy,” Margaery says, a pleased hum. Who doesn’t enjoy discovering some juicy gossip? Well, a real friend wouldn’t react that way when she thinks her friend’s boyfriend might be stepping out on her.
“I’ve got to go.”
“Of course, darling! Want me to call you later or-“
“No, don’t call me.” Don’t bother calling me again.
She’d tried calling him after she got home but his phone went straight to voicemail and she hadn’t worked up the courage to leave one. He always leaves his phone off when he’s working. It’s part of the job.
She sits in her room feeling sick with jealousy and heartbreak the rest of the afternoon. She thinks anything would be better than this doubt, this not knowing. But, when the doorbell rings downstairs, she gasps and almost wishes she’d told her mother to turn him away, to tell him she’s out…or moved to Dorne unexpectedly.
Joffrey had seemed so perfect but that was just on the surface. You didn’t have to scratch very much of it to find the ugly truth.
Harry had been different than Joffrey and she’d thought him a great improvement at first. He’d been terribly charming…but his charm won him more hearts than Sansa’s and she’d soon realized he liked it that way. Monogamy was a foreign word to him.
And Jon had been like neither of them, she’d thought. She’d never expected to fall in love with Jon Snow. She’d never expected them to be anything more than acquaintances through Robb. She’d never expected he’d be exactly what she’d been looking for. But he is. Or at least, she’d thought he was.
She looks around her bedroom, the childhood room she’s been living in since finishing her degree last year. She’s redecorated more than once since she was a kid but it feels so juvenile now. Jon’s been out on his own since he turned eighteen, has his own place. He’s a grownup and she’s still living with her parents. What could he really see in her? He’s been jewelry shopping with Alys Karstark behind her back, too.
He knocks softly on her bedroom door and she fears that she might cry before she can even get the words out.
“I saw you today,” she says as soon as she opens the door. She doesn’t want to let these doubts linger. One way or another, she needs to know.
He blinks, surprised by her tone and expression. “You did?”
“I saw you downtown…with Alys.”
“Where? Why didn’t you say anything?”
Hardly the expected words of a man covering something up but a heart that's been stung more than once can be tenaciously leery.
“Because you said you were working today and then I saw you coming out of Manderly’s with her.”
“I was at work all day. I went there on my lunchbreak and asked Alys if she’d mind meeting me since she works at the museum nearby.”
Sansa knew that. Jon had taken her to the museum on a date last winter and Alys had allowed them back behind the scenes of a few exhibits since she knew them. It had been a marvelous day.
“Why did you ask her to join you?”
“I, uh…wanted some advice,” he says, scrubbing at the back of his neck like he does when he’s embarrassed. Why is he embarrassed?
“But why? Please, tell me the truth, Jon.”
“I’ve always been honest with you.”
It’s true. He has. He’s not Harry. He’s not Joffrey. He’s not Margaery.
“I just saw you with her and…I felt like…I thought you might be…” She can hardly breathe with how much the thought of him cheating on her, of him leaving her hurts. She loves him so much and apparently love can make you a little crazy at times.
He pulls her into his arms and kisses her forehead. “It’s nothing like that, I promise. But I’m sorry if seeing us upset you. I know that it might’ve looked odd out of context.” He understands. She’s shared her fears and insecurities with him, things she’s not shared with anyone else. He’s always so patient, understanding and honest. She feels silly.
“I’m sorry to sound accusatory. I had no right to...”
“No, it’s alright. How was Margaery?” he asks with the barest hint of a smirk. He knows Margaery, sees beneath her pretty smiles and knows about the knives she’s left in Sansa’s back in the past.
“Her usual self. But what were you doing at the jewelry shop?” she asks now, a grin spreading across her face.
“If I ask to not answer your question just yet, will you trust me?”
She takes a deep breath. The room suddenly feels like it’s spinning as the possible reasons why her boyfriend might’ve asked his friend Alys to go to a jewelry shop with him present themselves. Alys has very discerning taste and Jon’s expressed his own insecurities to Sansa in the past about being good enough for her, of getting things right for her. He doesn’t need to worry at all but sometimes we can’t help our insecurities.
They’ve been dating nearly a year. Their dating anniversary is in three weeks and what if he’s…
“I trust you,” she says sincerely before kissing him with all the love she has in her heart.