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“Babe.” Sonny was emptying out Marlene’s backpack from the week. It was the one task they both hated, and they had flipped for it. Sonny had lost, Rafael had laughed, and now Sonny was sitting in the middle of the living room floor with papers in a semicircle around him. “Rafael!” he called, louder this time.
“Yes, Sonny!” Rafael meandered out of the kitchen, drying a mug. “What is it?”
“This.” He held up a crumpled piece of paper. “Did you know we’re scheduled for a parent-teacher conference on Monday? At--” he looked again “--9:30?”
“What?” He took the paper from Sonny’s hand and read it, shaking his head. “Dammit, I forgot about that...remember, we filled out that time request paper a couple weeks ago?”
“Uh, no. If I remembered I wouldn’t be asking about it.” Sonny took the paper back, rereading it.
“What’s wrong, guys?” Marley asked, swinging on the arm of the recliner.
“Don’t do that,” Rafael told her, swatting her rear. “You’ll break the arm.”
She stopped swinging. “Didja forgetted my conference?”
“No,” Sonny told her. Looking at his husband, he said, “You can’t forget things you didn’t know about.”
Rafael sighed. “Well, can you do Monday at 9:30? If not, I’ll call her teacher and reschedule.”
Sonny shook his head. “I’m supposed to be in at ten, but I’ll call Liv and tell her I’m gonna be late.” Looking back at his daughter who was swinging on the arm of the chair again, he asked, “What are we doing with her since school is out?”
“Mami’s going to take her. She’s off for the day so we should be okay” he said calmly, swatting at his daughter one more time, saying, “quit it.” She stopped swinging again.
“Sorry, Papi,” she said, and sighed heavily. “It’s just so much fun.”
***
“I can’t believe you found homework for us to do,” Rafael grumbled as they sat in bed that night. “Do we really have to do this? Why is this important? She’s four years old--I don’t understand why we have to do this.”
“Well, if you’d stop complaining, I’d read it to you,” Sonny told him, getting his pen ready to write. “It just says here that the answers to the questions will help guide the conference. It looks like it’s just our perceptions about what’s important and how she’s doing. If it’s that big of an issue for you, I can do it myself.”
“No,” Rafael sighed, “I'm just being an asshole. What’s the first question?”
“The first question is: what were your goals for your child this year regarding school?”
Rafel raised an eyebrow and looked at his husband. “Were we supposed to have goals?”
“Apparently,” Sonny responded. “How about stuff like being exposed to other kids, learning to work well with others…”
“How to function in a civil society,” Rafael mused, “although you probably don’t find that in preschool.”
Sonny laughed. “True. I’m also putting down basic academics, because I wanted our child to look smart in front of other people.”
“You do like to show her off.” Rafael examined his nails. “What’s the next question?”
Sonny read the paper. “Do you feel your child made progress on these goals? Yes? I think she did. She’s better at waiting for a turn, and speaking up--”
“Did she ever NOT speak up?” Rafael asked, grinning.
Sonny turned to him. “I don’t know. You’re usually talking so I can’t tell.”
“Har har. Well, she does know her alphabet and her numbers to twenty, and she loves to read...and she also seems to get along pretty well with other people. So yeah, she’s grown.”
“Next question,” Sonny continued, “Do you have any concerns about your child moving to kindergarten in the fall?”
They suddenly both grew quiet, silent for several long minutes, until finally Sonny said, “Well fuck, Rafi. She’s going to real school in the fall.”
Rafael looked at him. “Are we supposed to be happy about this? Because I’m not sure I am. She’s still so...I don’t know... little. ”
They were quiet again for a couple more minutes. “I don’t think I really have any concerns about her,” Sonny said slowly. “She’s smart, and she loves school, and she loves being around other kids. I think she’s probably going to do great.” He laughed. “I think it’s us that are going to have the issues.”
Rafael sighed. “Well, shit.”
Sonny tapped his pen on the edge of the paper. “You ever think about adopting another one? Expanding our family?”
Rafael looked at his hands, crossed in his lap. “I have, briefly,” he confessed. “But to be honest, you two are enough family for me. I love being her father. If it weren’t for you I would have never done this, and I haven’t regretted it for a single second. But do you remember everything we went through to get here? How hard it was, and the first adoption that fell through?”
Sonny shook his head. “I could never forget that. I thought my heart had died.”
Rafael took his hand in his own, squeezing it. “I don’t want to jinx what we already have.”
Sonny smiled, bringing their hands up to his lips and kissing them. “You’re right. And I’m ridiculously happy too, with both of you. I love our family. You two bring me more happiness than I thought I could ever have.”
“Sonny.” Rafael leaned over and kissed his husband gently, and Sonny wrapped his arms around Rafael’s body, pulling him closer. “I love you, Son,” Rafael whispered, nipping Sonny’s earlobe and tracing it with his tongue. Sonny gave a soft moan and slowly slid his hand up and down Rafael’s back, pulling him closer.
“Ow!” Rafael yanked back, then reached between them and pulled up the pen Sonny had been writing with. “Dammit.”
Sonny chuckled. “I guess that’s a cue to finish our work.” They both readjusted themselves, and Sonny cleared his throat. “Last one--do you have anything else you’d like to discuss at our conference?”
They were both quiet again, thinking. “Maybe if there’s anything we need to do over the summer to prepare her for kindergarten,” Rafael tossed out.
“Hmm...that’s good,” Sonny said as he wrote it down. “Okay, that’s it. Here, sign.” He handed the paper and pen to Rafael, and then took it back, folding it up and laying it on the nightstand. Turning off the light and reaching for his husband, he asked, “Now...where were we?”
***
“Hello, gentlemen!” Marley’s teacher, Callie, greeted them warmly. “Please, come in and make yourselves comfortable. How’s Marley today?”
“Good,” Sonny responded. “Excited to spend the day with her abuelita. They’re going to the museum and then to the park.”
Callie laughed. “I’d be excited about that too. It’s a beautiful day outside. So, are we ready to chat about your sweet girl?”
The conference went well. Callie was a warm and thoughtful teacher who shared several insights about Marlene. She had collected a good deal of the little girl’s artwork and photos of her play, and talked with both men about what those items meant developmentally. She shared a progress report regarding Marley’s development in several areas, and showed them examples of Marley’s attempts at writing. After sharing Marlene’s work, Callie asked, “Do you have any other questions for me? I’ll be giving you a packet of information about kindergarten that also outlines things you can do to help her be ready, but it sounds like you mainly do what we’d recommend--lots of reading, talking, going places, interacting with her environment. Was there anything else you wanted to discuss?”
Sonny and Rafael looked at each other. “No,” Sonny said. “I think we’re good.”
“I’m glad,” Callie said, “because there is one more thing I’d like to discuss with you. Marlene is excelling overall in language and communication, and socially, she makes friends easily. But I have some concerns about her speech. I’m sure you’re aware that she has some sound substitution issues, particularly with hard c’s and l’s, plus r’s that come at the beginning of words. Had you noticed that?”
Rafael was frowning when he met Sonny’s eyes, then turned back to Callie. “Yes, I think we had...I think we both just assumed that was normal for her age and she’d grow out of it. Is that a problem?”
Callie smiled, but this time it was a gentle, more comforting expression. “It’s something that we look out for, particularly at this age, because the longer kids mispronounce words, the harder it is to break the habit and the more difficult it will eventually become for them to communicate. While she fits in very well right now, in another year, her classmates may not be as accepting. I would hate to see something impact that wonderful self-confidence we see in her right now. Some sounds typically do develop later for some kids, and R is one of those. It’s very common for children her age to substitute a W sound for R. The C and L, though, are less common. They can also make it trickier for her when she begins to actually write. If she’s mispronouncing words, she may also be mishearing them, which will make it harder to spell them correctly.”
“What do you suggest?” Rafael asked. “We certainly want to provide everything for Marley that she needs. If there’s something she needs that we’re not doing, just tell us and we’ll make it happen.” He looked at Sonny, who was nodding his head.
Callie smiled. “My suggestion at this point would be a referral for a speech evaluation. You can have it done at the school she’ll be attending next year, if you like, and they will even provide the services there while she’s in kindergarten. There’s no charge. You simply call the school’s guidance counselor and she will set up the evaluation. I know some parents prefer to use a private therapist, and that’s certainly an option, but it’s been my experience that the school speech pathologists are excellent, and Marley would quite likely have an experience just as good in the school as she would with a private therapist.”
Rafael was typing quickly into his phone. “Do you have any idea how much therapy this will take?” Sonny asked. “Is she the only kid in here who’s having trouble with this?”
“Not at all,” Callie assured him. “This is by far the most common referral I give every year. I’m not a speech pathologist, so I can’t tell you how long it will take, but I do know a lot of success is based on how motivated the child is, and how confident he or she is. In my experience, a child like Marley should be very successful fairly quickly. Again, the speech issues she has are relatively mild, but we do want to go ahead and address them now if we can.”
“Do the other kids make fun of her?” Rafael asked, continuing to type into his phone and avoiding eye contact, almost as if he were afraid to know the answer but felt compelled to ask the question.
“No.” Callie’s answer was quick and firm. She opened her mouth to speak, but hesitated; Rafael looked up at her, eyebrow raised, so she continued. “Marlene is very good at standing up for herself and for her friends. She is appropriately assertive. I found out after the fact that there had been an issue with a classmate using inappropriate, homophobic language with her earlier in the year. I found out because she brought it up in group after the parade--we have a news time that the kids can share anything new, and she raised her hand and said, “Devon was very confused and used a bad word for two dads. My dads told me the right word for when two guys get married is ‘homosexual’ or ‘gay’.”
At that, both men looked at each other and beamed. “I’m so proud of her,” Sonny said, patting Rafael on the shoulder. “We had a big discussion about it at home, so I’m glad she understood.”
“She absolutely did,” Callie assured them. “You two are her heroes. I hope you know that. She is so very proud of both of you, and talks about you a lot.”
Rafael chuckled. “I get the feeling that she talks a lot, period.”
“Well, that’s fairly accurate,” Callie admitted. “Sharing her opinions is not a struggle for her. If I can give a suggestion or two for the future? Marlene is a smart kid, and she’s very thoughtful and outspoken at times. Those are traits the world tends to love in boys but will try to squash out of girls even sooner than you’d think. It’s even worse for girls who are minorities or biracial, like Marlene. I can guarantee you she’s already getting cultural and social messages all the time that her voice doesn’t count and she shouldn’t use it. The fact that she does is a great testament to your parenting. You clearly listen to her and respond.” She leaned across the table toward them, and looked each of them in the eye. “Don’t let them silence your daughter. They’ll tell you she’s impolite, she’s bossy, she’s controlling. Those are classroom code for telling young girls to shut up. Don’t accept that. If it’s something a teacher would have accepted from you as a boy in school, expect them to accept it from her. That’s the best advice I can give you moving on.” With that, she handed Rafael a large stack of papers. “Here’s her work, her progress report, your kindergarten ready packet, and some information on speech therapy at this age. If I can do anything else for you all, please let me know. I can honestly say I’ve loved having Marlene this year.”
“Thank you,” Sonny said, shaking her hand. “I appreciate your honesty more than you can imagine. We’re just so pleased that Marley had such a great start to school.”
“Thank you,” Rafael echoed as he shook Callie’s hand. “We will definitely get started on the speech therapy right away. And thank you for supporting us as a family. I know Marlene has really loved coming to preschool this year, and Sonny and I are very grateful.”
They wished Callie a good day and headed out of the school and down the sidewalk. Rafael ordered an uber while they walked. “I can’t believe she starts kindergarten in a few months,” Sonny said suddenly. “It seems like just yesterday we were carrying her home. I was whipping up bottles and you were rocking and singing lullabies. Remember that?”
Rafael chuckled. “Yeah, I remember. Here.” He held the door to the uber open for Sonny to climb in, then got in himself. “Remember when she began cruising around the apartment and could suddenly pull everything off the shelves?”
“Yeah.” Now Sonny chuckled. “More than one chotchky bit the dust during that time.” He looked out the window. “Then she was walking, and toddling. I just remember how I’d open the door when I’d get home after a shift, and there she was, toddling up to me as fast as she could, calling ‘Da-da! Da-da!” He elbowed Rafael. “Remember how she couldn’t say Papi, so she used to call you Boppy? ‘Bah-pi! Bah-pi!’ And my ma kept trying to give her a pacifier when all she wanted was you, out in the yard!”
Rafael shook his head. “Where’s it gone, Sonny?” he asked. “She’ll start kindergarten and next thing we know it’ll be high school graduation. And then college.”
They were both silent then. The uber pulled up to 1 Hogan Place and Rafael grabbed his bag. “I’ll see you this evening, querido.” He placed a kiss to Sonny’s temple.
“Don’t worry too much yet, baby,” Sonny said, “she’s only one day older today.”
***
“So I gotta go wearn how to talk better, Daddy? I don’t talk good enough?” Marley’s expression had changed from curious to worried, and Sonny turned to Rafael for help.
“Mija,” he began carefully, “I think what Callie was explaining is that we are all unique. Some things are super easy for us to learn, and some things are harder and take a little more work. Like Daddy, he’s a super detective and cook, but he needs a little more practice in, oh, coordinating his outfits.”
Sonny elbowed him and Rafael snickered, while Marlene’s brows furrowed. “And how Papi’s a great lawyer but needs practice in heating the leftovers,” Sonny snarked back, and both men began to elbow each other and laugh.
Marlene sat in the recliner watching them for a few minutes before she finally said, “I don’t get it.”
“Huh?” Rafael asked, turning toward her. “Oh. Okay. Well, honey, you’re so good at so many things, aren’t you? You’re great at art, and reading, and you know your letters and you know your numbers to twenty. You are good at talking with people and making friends--”
“And I’m nice,” she added. “And I’m workin’ on being weal honest, wight? And I’m a good helper too, An’ I tan pick my own tlothes out all by myself! Hey Daddy! I tan help you if you want!”
Rafael covered his face with his hand to keep his daughter from seeing how hard he was laughing. Tears were coming from his eyes and his body was shaking. Sonny elbowed him one more time as he said, “That’s okay, dolly, I think I’ve gotten it down. But like Papi said, there are so many things you have learned. Can you think of anything that is harder for you to learn?”
Marley tapped her chin with her finger, as she often did when she was thinking. “Um...hmm...no? Oh wait! I know, Daddy! I gotta wemember when I get mad not to say Papi’s a poophead, ‘tause that’s not nice. Or when I get mad at you an’ tall you dummy.”
“Okay,” Sonny replied, “Let’s go with that. Well, your teacher thinks it would be helpful for you to have a little more practice with your speech, also. That’s your talking.”
Her little eyes flew wide open. “I’m s’pose to talk MORE?”
“Kind of,” Rafael explained. “This teacher is going to help you learn how to pronounce certain sounds and words correctly. For example, she will help you learn to say ‘candy’ instead of ‘tandy’, or ‘Lincoln’ instead of ‘Wincoln’.”
“Oh!” Marley nodded, then shrugged her shoulders. “That should be good. I wike to talk good.”
Rafael nodded. “Good. So Daddy is going to take you on Thursday morning before you go to school, so they can talk with you and see if they think you should go.”
“Otay.” Marlene stood up and stretched, her little belly peeking out of her pajamas. “Are you weady to wead to me, Papi? I wanna wead Stand Tall, Molly Lou Mellon. ”
“I am,” Rafael said as he stood, then patted her belly. “Are your pj’s getting too small again? You’re standing too tall, missy! Slow down on that growing thing, for goodness’ sake! Why do you keep growing?”
“Tause you teep feeding me!” She belly laughed at her own joke, looking up at him and laughing until he scooped her up in his arms.
“I love you, silly princesa,” he teased, blowing a raspberry against her cheek.
“I wove you too, silly papi,” she giggled.
A second later they both felt long arms wrap around them. “And I love you BOTH, silly people!” Sonny teased, and they all burst into laughter together.