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Patton wasn’t sure what to do with his hands. Instinct said to wring them, but he thought that would be annoying to watch. He didn’t want to set his palms down on his pants, because they were sweating enough to leave wet patches on them. So, he laid them palms up on his thighs. That probably looked awkward though. Golly, Patton shouldn’t be this nervous. It wasn’t even his first appointment with Dr. Campbell; it was his second, and she had been really nice the first time! Patton hoped these appointments didn’t always feel like this.
Dr. Campbell finished closing her office door and walked past Patton to her own seat. Patton finally just clasped his hands in his lap. “How are you today?” she asked.
“I’m fine,” he said. “How are you?” Was he supposed to ask her that? It was his automatic response when someone asked him how he was, but was it weird to ask his therapist how she was?
She didn’t seem weirded out by his question at least. “I’m good, thank you,” she replied just like this was a normal conversation in a coffee shop and she wasn’t the practical stranger Patton was supposed to spill all of his secrets to. “So,” she continued. “What do you want to talk about today?”
“Oh,” Patton floundered for a moment. There were so many things he knew he was supposed to be talking about with her, but he drew a blank on one he thought he could articulate today. “I really don’t know.”
“Hmmm,” she said, “last time we talked about your job and your fiancé as well as the general reason why you’re here. Why don’t we talk a bit more about you outside of those things for today?”
“What do you mean?” Patton asked.
“Well, you’re more than just your job, romantic relationship, and issues. Help me get to know you as a person.”
“Okay,” Patton agreed. “Um, sorry… how should I do that, exactly?”
She gave him a small smile; it didn’t seem judgmental, but Patton still worried that it was. “I’ll ask some questions to get you going, okay?” He nodded. “Let’s see. What do you do outside of work and when you’re not with Logan? Who else do you talk to and about what? What are your hobbies? What do you do when you’re feeling stressed? What would you want to do but never seem to have time for? That sort of thing.”
“Um,” he said. “I have coffee with Remy sometimes. He’s a nurse at the hospital. I’m not sure if that counts since, we work together…”
“It counts,” she told him.
“Good. Er, Remy’s a friend. He’s nice. He even made a point to take me out for coffee after our last appointment to see how it went. Of course,” Patton cracked a smile. “He then proceeded to ask Logan to ‘throw hands’ in the parking lot the whole time.”
“He sounds like a character.”
“He is,” Patton agreed, “but he’s a good nurse and a good person.” She smiled and nodded. Patton figured he was supposed to keep talking. “Other than him, I don’t usually talk to many people outside of work. I mean, Lia and her husband, but she’s more of Logan’s friend. I’ve never really had many friends myself. I mean, I get along with people but… Anyway, what was the next question? Hobbies? She titled her head at him but let him change the subject. “I read sometimes, but not like… they’re not really good books.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, they’re not the types of books Logan reads all the time. They’re just silly.”
“I’m sure they aren’t silly.”
“Oh, they are,” Patton said feeling his cheeks heat up a bit. “They’re, um, mostly romance books and stupid romance books, not things like Jane Eyre or Pride and Prejudice.”
“They don’t have to be literary masterpieces in order for them to have value, Patton,” she said. “You have the right to relax with a contemporary novel or two.”
“Well, sure, but… I don’t know.”
She looked at him for a moment. “What other hobbies do you have?”
He thought. “I’m not really sure. What counts as a hobby?”
“Anything you do for fun really,” she answered. “Do you do anything artistic? Art?” he shook his head. “Music?”
“I did play the violin from first grade all the way through high school,” Patton offered.
“And why did you stop?” she asked.
“Well…” he said. “I guess because my mom wasn’t making me do it anymore. I never really liked it myself. It was always just something for her, and I was never quite good enough at it.”
“What do you mean?”
He hesitated. A vision of crossed arms and tense car rides home came to mind. “Can we, maybe, not talk about that one today?” he asked.
“Sure,” she said kindly. “So, that’s a no on the violin, but what about other things? Crafting?”
Patton shook his head slowly. “I did always want to learn to sew,” he said.
“Why didn’t you?”
“It never seemed useful.”
She tilted her head. “To you or to someone else?” she asked.
“Someone else,” he answered softly.
“You can always learn how now if you want,” she said.
“Maybe,” he agreed, and then volunteered, “I also like to cook.”
“Oh, cooking’s fun,” she said.
“Yeah, I like it. It helps me calm down sometimes when I’m feeling stressed, but other times…”
“Other times?” she prompted.
“It’s just… sometimes I want to cook, but I’m too tired, and I know that I’ll make a huge mess and have a lot of dishes that I won’t want to clean up afterwards, and then I’ll feel worse about not cleaning up and… So, then I don’t.”
“Hmm,” she considered. “How about puppy chow?”
“Puppy chow?”
“Like the snack food,” she explained. “I make it with my niece all the time. You can melt chocolate and peanut butter together in a big bowl and then mix in the cereal and powdered sugar. It’s minimal dishes. You can even just guess on the measurements if you don’t want to have to clean a measuring cup. When you’re done, you wouldn’t even need to clean up the mixing bowl because you could just store the puppy chow right in that. It’s all of the benefits of cooking with basically no mess.”
He blinked at her. “Oh that… that’s a really good idea.”
“I’ll write down the recipe for you,” she offered.
“Oh, thanks!” Patton said. “I’d appreciate that.”
She grinned at him. “Of course, that’s just a start. You don’t always have to make puppy chow. You can find other recipes that don’t make any mess. You can also find some that make a little bit of a mess for when you’re feeling only somewhat stressed. The better you feel, the more intensive your recipe can be. That way, you can always cook when you want no matter how much energy you have. Even for the more complicated ones, you can find ways to cut down on dishes. I’d suggest getting resealable jars that you can store things like flour and sugar in but mark the sides by ¼ cups. That way, you don’t always have to bother dirtying a measuring cup for those things.”
“That’s… I never even would have thought of the jar thing,” he said. “I think that would… that would make some things I like to cook a lot easier.”
“And don’t forget you can ask for help,” she continued. “You said Logan likes to clean but can’t cook well. I’m sure he’d be more than willing to split up the work so you each can do what you enjoy more and both of you get food out of it.”
“I never really thought about it that way.”
“Well, that’s why we’re here, right? Thinking about things in a different way.”
“I guess you’re right,” Patton agreed. “That is why we’re here.”