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“Five more minutes,” Hinata mumbled, snuggling his face up to his pillow, desperate to get more sleep. His brain was running slower than molasses. There was no way it was already time to get up… Why is my alarm going off…?he wondered miserably.
But then, after a moment, Hinata remembered that he wasn’t actually at home. This was training camp. So why was there an alarm? And why wasn’t anyone else getting up?
It took all of his strength to lift his head from his pillow and open his eyes, but it was immediately clear, even through the tiny glimpses of the room he got while his eyes would actually stay open, that it wasn’t morning. It was still the middle of the night, and Hinata had a few more hours of sleep. Thank God…
And the more Hinata woke up, the more he realized that the noise that he’d thought was an alarm wasn’t an alarm at all. It didn’t even sound like an alarm, how had he thought it was alarm? It was definitely a person… And it didn’t sound good, either. They sounded like they were crying, and struggling to breathe, borderline hyperventilating… Jeez, whoever it was, by the sound of it, they were having a pretty awful nightmare.
Hinata let out a slight groan as he sat up and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, figuring the decent thing to do would be to wake them up. He’d want someone to wake him up if he was having a nightmare, after all. Besides, it sounded like the nightmare was getting worse, and if they woke up everyone, that would just be embarrassing, too. Once his eyes finally started to cooperate, he scanned the room, seeing nothing more than the sleeping figures of his teammates. He watched them closely, but they were all simply rising and falling steadily in rhythm with the gentle snores that filled the silence between the strangled noises of whoever was having such a bad dream… Who is it? I don’t see anyone…
The last person Hinata looked at, the person sleeping on the futon right next to him, turned out to be the victim. Kageyama was tossing and turning so violently, Hinata was amazed he hadn’t noticed immediately.
“Kageyama-kun,” Hinata whispered as loud as he dared, crawling closer to him. “Kageyama, wake up.” When Kageyama still didn’t stir, Hinata grabbed his shoulders and shook him violently. “Kageyama.”
When Kageyama’s eyes finally snapped open, Hinata immediately regretted shaking him so hard… He was going to get yelled at for sure. Hinata winced as Kageyama’s eyes slowly turned onto Hinata, and held his breath as he waited for Kageyama’s shell-shocked expression to turn into his usual glare. Or maybe Hinata would be even more unfortunate and get his terrifying smile…
Except, Kageyama didn’t do either of those things. He just sat there, trying to catch his breath, staring at Hinata, whatever little light there was in the room reflecting off beads of sweat on his forehead and tracks of tears down his cheeks.
“Kageyama-kun?” Hinata said quietly, unsure of what to do. “Are you okay?”
“I-I…” Kageyama choked out before sniffling. “I th-thought…”
“It’s okay,” Hinata assured him. “It was just a dream.”
“R-right,” Kageyama said with a nod. “J-just a…”
And then Kageyama started crying. Hinata had never been terrified in quite the same way as he felt when he saw Kageyama’s face screw up in one final attempt at holding it back before burying his face in his hands. Kageyama flat out burst into tears, and frankly, Hinata would’ve preferred him glaring.
What do I do, what do I do, oh, holy shit, what do I do? Hinata thought frantically. His first instinct was to give Kageyama some sort of friendly pat on the shoulder, just your basic gesture of, “Hey, it’s okay, I’m here,” but… well, Kageyama didn’t seem like the type who would want to be touched. But Hinata didn’t know what else to do. And on the other hand, if he did piss Kageyama off, then maybe everything would just go back to normal.
Except it didn’t. As soon as Hinata’s hand touched Kageyama’s shoulder, Kageyama immediately turned into him and started crying on his shoulder.
What is even happening? Hinata thought weakly. Maybe I’m the one who’s having a bad dream… He even pinched himself to check, but no such luck.
Hinata tried to remember what his parents did for him when he used to get nightmares… Well, his mom used to let him come sleep next to her in her bed. And when his sister had a nightmare, when they were pretty little, she would come sleep next to Hinata in his. Maybe that’s the answer.
“Kageyama-kun,” Hinata whispered. “Do you want to share my bed?”
And it wasn’t until the last word was out of his mouth that Hinata realized what he was saying, and how this had a way, way different connotation to it than when he was little and with his family. Oh, no, what have I done, oh, shit, why did I say that, oh-
Kageyama sniffled. “Okay.”
Okay? Did he just say okay? What the hell is happening?
“Oh, um. Okay then,” Hinata squeaked out, scooting over to the far side of his futon and giving Kageyama space to lie down. Kageyama hesitated a little, as if he was finally getting a hold of himself and realizing what he was doing, but he still crawled in next to Hinata. He was still shaking, but he was also really warm, and he actually made it a lot cozier.
“Hinata?” Kageyama mumbled.
“Huh?”
“…Thanks.”
Hinata suddenly felt his chest swell with this weird wave of happiness… He was still concerned about Kageyama, and terrified of his weird behavior, but… Well, he was happy to help. Weirdly happy. Too happy. Why was he so happy?
After a moment of just lying next to each other, Kageyama reached forward and wrapped his arms around Hinata, pulling him close and holding onto him tightly, like a teddy bear.
“Is this… I can let go if you want,” Kageyama mumbled.
But Hinata didn’t want him to let go, not in the slightest. When Kageyama first reached for him, he felt like he couldn’t breathe, but now, with Kageyama’s arms holding him like this, and his face buried in Kageyama’s chest… Hinata had never imagined what that would feel like, but he never would’ve guessed that it was so nice. Calling it nice was the understatement of the century, because this was actually one of the best feelings Hinata had ever had.
But putting it into any sort of words was impossible. Kageyama was just so…wow. Like, obviously Hinata knew that Kageyama was physically strong, from playing volleyball with him, but having Kageyama’s strong arms clinging to him like that… It made his stomach do the same thing it did whenever he spiked in practice, and his palm made perfect contact with the ball, and it was just so…wham. That’s how it felt being held by Kageyama. And Kageyama was still shaking, but his breath was steadying, and the soft sound of his breathing was… good. It was really good. Hinata almost wanted a recording of it to listen to when he couldn’t sleep… And Kageyama smelled like… Jeez, Hinata didn’t even know what he smelled like, even with a face-full of Kageyama’s soft T-shirt. He smelled like how it feels to come inside on a cold day after walking through snow and wrapping yourself in a big blanket and sitting by a warm fire. Hinata wasn’t even sure himself what that meant, but somehow it was a fitting description. Kageyama just felt like all the best parts of winter, he was just so…
Whoa.
“Hinata?” Kageyama mumbled, his voice low and almost hypnotic, so close to Hinata’s ear… Had Kageyama’s voice always sounded like that? He knew it could sound kind, but now it almost sounded like a hug. His voice felt like a warm bowl of your favorite soup.
“Hmm?” Hinata hummed, as though he wasn’t about to try and take in a deep breath of Kageyama’s smell as quietly as possible.
“C-can you just talk?” Kageyama asked. “And just keep talking. I don’t really care what you say. Just… anything.”
“Oh, uh, okay,” Hinata said. “Um, I’m not sure what time it is, but if I had to guess, I’d say it’s about three in the morning. I really hope none of the senpai are awake and just pretending to sleep. I also really hope Tsukishima isn’t awake, either. I’m glad it’s just you and me.” Oh, no, that sounded weird, shit, did he think that sounded weird? Oh, jeez… “A-and tomorrow, I’m really excited for tomorrow. I’m excited for breakfast, and I’m excited to practice. A-and I hope I get a lot of opportunities to spike! Th-that is, if you want to toss to me…”
Kageyama let out of a soft, noncommittal hum, his voice still so inexplicably pleasant in Hinata’s ear, and Hinata realized Kageyama had stopped shaking somewhere in his rambling.
“Do you want me to keep going?” Hinata asked.
“No, it’s fine. Thanks…”
“You’re welcome. Are you okay now?”
“Yeah, I am. I can go back to my bed, if you want-”
“No, that’s okay,” Hinata said a little too quickly. “I-I mean, you don’t have to if you don’t want to. I mean… I-I want you to stay.”
Shit, shit, shit, that was weird, wasn’t it? He’s going to think I’m weird and he’ll just yell at me tomorrow and-
“Okay,” Kageyama said, tightening his arms. “I’ll stay.”
After a moment of not being able to believe his luck, Hinata sighed and relaxed, completely melting into Kageyama, and wondering how it had ever seemed acceptable to fall asleep any other way…
And then suddenly he was awake again.
This time, it actually was morning, and the senpai were all getting up and digging through their bags for toothbrushes and changes of clothes.
And Kageyama wasn’t there.
Hinata glanced over and saw Kageyama sitting up, back on his own futon, stretching his arms over his head and glaring at nothing.
Was that… was that all a dream after all?
It didn’t really feel like it had been real, but… well, Hinata wanted it to be. Really badly. He wanted it to happen again and again. Even after training camp, he wanted Kageyama to spend the night at his house sometime, so maybe it could happen again there, too. Just something, because all Hinata wanted was that overwhelming feeling of Kageyama’s warmth, his scent, his strong arms around his middle and his hypnotic, sleepy voice in his ear.
But maybe none of that even happened. Maybe he’d made the whole thing up. Maybe Kageyama didn’t even feel like winter. Maybe-
“Oi,” Kageyama grumbled, making Hinata jump as he was snapped out of his thoughts. “What are you staring at?”
“N-nothing!” Hinata said immediately, keeping his head down as he got up and started looking for his practice clothes in his mess of a bag. I definitely made that up, Hinata thought miserably. What was he even thinking? There was no way Kageyama would crawl into his bed like that, even after a nightmare. Jeez, did people like Kageyama even really have nightmares? He was more like a nightmare himself…
But then Hinata glanced at Kageyama again. He was digging through his bag, his face turned away from the others, but Hinata could just see the side of his face, and Kageyama was blushing. Badly. He was bright red, all the way up to his ears.
Maybe I should just ask?
“Uh, Kageya-”
“No.”
“I didn’t even-!”
“No.”
“But-”
“No.”
Hinata sighed, but still, he couldn’t help but feel that swell of happiness again. Even if Kageyama was trying to be too cool to admit it, he’d made it obvious. Itdid happen. It had really happened, and if it happened once, maybe it could happen again, and-
“Hinata?” Kageyama mumbled.
“Yeah?”
“Thanks again… and… s-sorry about… y’know, everything.”
“You don’t have to be sorry!” Hinata said loudly before Kageyama shushed him. They glanced around to make sure no one was listening before Hinata continued. “You don’t have to be sorry. I’m happy to help! A-and, I mean, if it happens again, you could always… y’know, again. I mean, you don’t even have to wait until it happens, you could always just, y’know, after everyone else is asleep, and-”
“Hinata.”
“Yeah?”
“Shut up.”
Hinata immediately stopped talking and turned away. I can’t believe I just said all that, oh, my God, he’s never going to toss to me again, why did I say that, what-
“Okay.”
“Huh?” Hinata said, almost falling over with how quickly he turned back to Kageyama.
Kageyama narrowed his eyes. “I said okay.”
“O-okay to… what I said?”
“What else would I be saying okay to?”
“Alright, alright!” Hinata said, holding up his hands. “Sorry! I just… really?”
Kageyama just rolled his eyes and grunted before heading off for the bathrooms.
“W-wait!”
Kageyama didn’t wait, and left without him. Hinata sighed and flopped back onto his bed, his heart pounding with both embarrassment and excitement, because holy shit, it was going to happen again… He took a deep breath to try and calm himself down but instead only got a whiff of Kageyama’s scent still on his pillow, like winter. He immediately turned his face into it, trying to smell it again.
“Uh, is something wrong with your pillow?” came Tanaka’s voice from behind.
“Nope, nothing, nothing at all,” Hinata squeaked out before grabbing his stuff and sprinting as fast as he could to the bathroom.