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2014-10-27
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Trick or Treat

Summary:

A figure ran up the driveway, pounding enthusiastically over to Walt’s front door.

“Trick or treat, bitches – oh fuck.”

Walt stared in absolute shock at the figure of Jesse Pinkman standing on his doorstep. Jesse looked back at him with an expression to match.

(set between 2x03 and 2x04)

Notes:

I saw the tumblr prompt of "Aren’t you a little old to be trick or treating?" and genuinely couldn't resist haha. And when I saw that Porkchop_Sandwiches' amaaazing Halloween fic was gifted to me, that just sealed the deal for getting it done faster to do something back:)

Takes place between 'Bit By A Dead Bee' (2x03) and 'Down' (2x04) because Jesse isn't supposed to have been to Walt's house yet. But actually, these episodes very well COULD take place around Halloween, given the show's timeline! But I wouldn't be too picky about it haha.

Happy Halloween!

Work Text:

“Ooh look a pirate! Wow, oh you’re a princess! Oh there’s a football player, here come on, grab a handful. Alright, one for you, one for you, yes that’s right, one each. Hey one each. Alright everyone good? Okay bye now. Happy Halloween!”

 

Walt let the front door fall shut and he let out a deep breath. That should be the last of them, he thought, absently placing the bowl of candy on a table he’d set up beside the door.

 

It was towards the end of the night but there were still some mini chocolate bars rattling around in the bottom of the silver bowl he’d been using. One year they’d gotten Junior to hand out the candy but it was all gone after about three groups of kids. Walt’s son just couldn’t resist inviting everyone who came to the door to grab an overflowing handful.

 

Not that he could really blame him, Walt thought, walking over to collapse into the nearest armchair. His son had…mixed feelings about Halloween, a holiday that centred completely on walking from house to house for an entire night. While the other kids were off running amok, sometimes even doubling up on neighbourhoods, just one block was enough to wipe out Junior completely.

 

So if he got overly enthusiastic when handing out candy, well, Walt understood. But still, those bulk-sized packs of candy cost actual money. Better to be pragmatic about it.

 

Even so, Junior hadn’t shown much interest in handing out candy this year and Skyler was relaxing in the master bedroom. So Walt was doing his duty as man of the house, by staying up and distributing the candy.

 

Leaning back against the armchair, Walt bit back a feeling of guilt. It was the least he could do after that ‘fugue state’. And how he’d apparently gotten away with that one Walt still didn’t know. He was honestly surprised Skyler was even letting him out of her sight long enough for him to hand out candy.

 

Walt’s train of thought was interrupted by the doorbell. He frowned slightly. He was sure the trick-or-treaters would be done by now. He sighed and pulled himself out of the chair.

 

“Walt? The doorbell?”

 

“Yes, I’m – “

 

Walt broke off swearing, having stubbed his toe on the edge of the coffee table while getting up. Mother of god.

 

The doorbell rang again.

 

Walt.”

 

“YES, HONEY,” he yelled towards the bedroom. Muttering to himself he made his way back over to the front door. He grabbed the bowl of candy and paused for a moment so he could wipe off the pained scowl he was wearing and plaster on the world’s fakest smile before flinging open the door.

 

“Well what do we have h – Jesus, how old are you?” The smile slipped off his face abruptly at the person on his doorstep, whose eye-line was about three feet higher than where Walt had been anticipating.

 

“Trick or treat?”

 

Walt looked distastefully at the Starfleet ensign who was looking increasingly doubtful about his candy prospects, the longer he looked at Walt’s face.

 

Walt sighed. “Seriously?”

 

“Oh come on man, can’t you like, cut me a break?” said the ensign, brandishing a pillowcase for collecting candy.

 

“Why on earth would I want to do that?” said Walt sternly, looking at this floppy-haired Redshirt.

 

“Uh, ‘cause it’s Halloween?” he tried again, brightly.

 

“Yes I understand that, thank you,” said Walt, shaking the bowl of candy to prove his awareness of the current event. “And Halloween is…”

 

The boy, no, man stared at him blankly, scratching his head with a phaser that Walt just noticed. “A holiday?”

 

“That’s right,” said Walt, adopting teacher-voice. “A holiday for…”

 

“…for the people?”

 

“For kids,” Walt exploded. “I’m not giving out candy to practically grown men who can’t give up a childish holiday and are just using it as an excuse to run around causing trouble. I hate to uh, burst your bubble but it’s not happening.”

 

“Oh come on,” said the overgrown man-child. “What’s the big deal?”

 

“Did you not hear me?” asked Walt incredulously. “Set phasers to leave.”

 

“That is so overdone, man.”

 

“So is this conversation,” said Walt, making to close the door. It was blocked by the toy phaser. He stared at it in disbelief.

 

“You can’t be serious right now,” he said raising an eyebrow, too taken aback to be annoyed.

 

“Look man, it’s no big deal!” the trick-or-treater insisted. “We’re not totally stupid, we wait until it gets late and all the kids are done, yo. Then we just clean up. It’s not like we’re taking their candy, they ain’t coming back. Come on, I know you’ve still got candy left man, you literally just shook it at me.”

 

“You want candy? You’re an adult, buy it yourself.” Walt was about to shut the door again when he frowned, struck by a thought. “Who’s this ‘we’ you keep mentioning? God, are there more of you?”

 

A figure ran up the driveway, pounding enthusiastically over to Walt’s front door.

 

“Trick or treat, bitches – oh fuck.”

 

Walt stared in absolute shock at the figure of Jesse Pinkman standing on his doorstep. Jesse looked back at him with an expression to match.

 

“What’s wrong, man?” asked Starfleet, staring at Jesse.

 

“Uh nothing I uh – “ Jesse swallowed. “I stubbed my toe,” he said, still staring at Walt.

 

“Dude, you’re wearing shoes,” his friend said doubtfully.

 

“Yeah I stubbed it on the inside of the shoe,” Jesse muttered, looking down. Walt flinched at the excuse but Jesse’s friend just nodded sagely and punched Jesse on the shoulder.

 

“Whatever, man, let’s bounce, we’re not getting anything from this guy,” Starfleet glared at Walt and turned to make his way down the driveway.

 

“Yeah I’ll…I’ll catch up,” said Jesse looking back up at Walt. He fidgeted with his own trick-or-treating pillowcase.

 

 “Trust me, man, you’re leaving empty handed,” called out the friend, reaching the bottom of the driveway where he stopped to give Walt the finger. “Yo, thanks for nothing, Scrooge.”

 

“Wrong holiday, loser,” Walt couldn’t resist shouting after his retreating figure. And taking a glance around the neighbourhood he walked further out onto the doorstep, shooting daggers at Jesse.

 

“What the hell do you think you’re doing here?” he demanded, keeping his voice low since the front door was still open.

 

“Jesus, it’s not like I was planning on it,” Jesse hissed back. “What, like I was supposed to know this was your house?”

 

“Someone could see you, my wife is inside, if anyone starts making connections – “

 

“Dude, I’m sorry, how the hell was I supposed to know you live here? From all the times you’ve invited me over?” he asked sarcastically.

 

Walt glared at him and Jesse rolled his eyes.

 

“Dude you’re so overreacting, no one’s gonna recognize me, it’s Halloween. Look,” he said, gesturing to himself. “I’m in a costume, okay? Chill.”

 

Walt took in Jesse’s ‘costume’ which was literally his everyday baggy clothes paired with one of those Scream masks you could find at any dollar store. The mask was pushed back on his head like Jesse couldn’t have been bothered to cover his face with it. It was the only reason Walt had recognized him at all.

 

“That? Not a costume,” Walt scoffed. “Seriously? Ghostface?”

 

“Seriously? Dickface?” Jesse mimicked.

 

“That ‘costume’? Is the patron saint of teenage punks everywhere who are either too cool or too lazy to dress up, so they slap on one of those masks last-minute. Every year I get at least five students wearing those in class and – and Jesus, why the hell am I even arguing about this?” Walt waved his hand exasperatedly.

 

“Uh, why are you arguing this with me?” asked Jesse mockingly. “What, someone’s not gonna ‘see me’ if I stay here too long or whatever?”

 

“I’m just saying,” Walt sighed. “Your friend at least had an actual costume. You could have put some effort into it.”

 

“Put some effort into this,” Jesse said grabbing his crotch. He turned to go.

 

“Wait, Jesse,” Walt said. He stepped forward, lowering his voice again. “Any news?”

 

Jesse frowned. “What do you mean?”

 

“I mean any more news from,” Walt looked around anxiously and Jesse leaned in. “The DEA?”

 

“It’s good man, I told you. Your name didn’t come up at all,” Jesse said tiredly.

 

“No I mean…you’re in the clear? For now?”

 

Jesse looked slightly surprised but seemed to thaw out a bit. “Yeah it’s good. Like I said, Wendy didn’t say shit, Clovis is working on the RV, we should be back up and running like, I don’t know, man. Soon. We’re good.”

 

Walt nodded. “And you’re…you’re still willing to, to cook, right?” Jesse looked at him dubiously so Walt continued. “I can see how you might have gotten spooked but like I said, nothing has changed, as long as we’re careful we can - ”

 

“Mr. White,” Jesse interrupted. “Spare me the sales pitch, we’re good, seriously.”

 

Walt nodded again, more relieved than he let on. “Good that’s…good.”

 

Jesse was watching him shuffle and cracked a slight grin. “Yo, but insult my costume again and I might have to rethink things, you know?”

 

Walt scoffed. “No promises there, you don’t even have your mask down.”

 

“Whatever man,” Jesse said but he didn’t seem at all bothered. He was still smiling a bit. “So I’ll be in touch, huh?”

 

“Yeah. Wait no, I’ll be in touch,” said Walt quickly. “Don’t call here, I’ll get in contact with you soon. My wife still suspects a second cellphone and I can’t risk –“

 

“Walt?”

 

Both men jumped at the sound of Skyler’s voice from inside the house.

 

“Who are you talking to out there?” her voice grew closer.

 

Jesse looked around wildly, as though looking to jump into the nearest bush. Walt flapped frantically at Jesse’s face. Catching his drift, Jesse snapped his mask down the second Skyler stepped out of the front door. 

 

She looked between the two of them. Her husband innocently holding a bowl of chocolate bars, and the oversized trick-or-treater in loose jeans, a rhinestone hoodie, and a wide-mouthed Scream mask.

 

Walt couldn’t see Jesse’s face but he was guessing it more or less matched the mask’s anxious, slack-jawed expression, going by Jesse’s white-knuckled grip on his pillowcase.

 

Skyler’s gaze swung back to Jesse. “Seriously?” she asked him, disdain in every syllable.

 

Walt felt a spike of panic. Did she recognize Jesse from the time she’d gone to confront him over ‘selling marijuana’? He was saved however when she continued with:

 

“Whoever you are you should be ashamed of yourself. A kid’s holiday? Really?”

 

Ghostface fumbled awkwardly with the pillowcase. Skyler raised her eyebrows at it.

 

“Is that your candy? Candy that’s meant for people half your age?”

 

Ghostface looked anxiously at Walt. The nervousness of the motion combined with the mask’s expression of exaggerated despair was almost too ludicrous for Walt to handle.

 

“Well?” Skyler asked. “You don’t have anything to say for yourself?”

 

The mask looked at her dumbly. Walt had a moment to feel relieved that Jesse at least had the sense to stay silent, instead of putting on some fake voice in the hopes that Skyler wouldn’t recognize it.

 

“Well I think it’s high time you got going instead of standing here.” Ghostface turned to the bowl in Walt’s hands. God, how did that mask even manage to look disappointed? Walt almost wanted to laugh from its sheer ridiculousness.

 

Skyler followed the mask’s gaze. “No, absolutely not. Now beat it.”

 

Ghostface turned tail and ran down the driveway. Skyler snorted, taking the bowl from Walt.

 

“Well that looks like the last of them,” she said. She was right, the only trick-or-treaters Walt could make out were way off, flashlights bobbing in the distance as they straggled home with their loot. She shook her head at the retreating figure of the failed trick-or-treater.

 

“What? Oh yeah,” said Walt, eyes still on Jesse. “Thank god.”

 

Walt reached over to the bowl but Skyler snatched it away, laughing slightly.

 

“Hands off, mister, pregnant lady gets dibs.”

 

“Oh is that a fact? Well if you want to know what I think – oh hey, what’s that?”

 

“What’s what?” Skyler turned to where Walt was pointing down the street.

 

 “There,” said Walt, placing a hand on Skyler’s shoulders to angle her better. “On Carol’s porch. I think she forgot to blow out the candle in her pumpkin.”

 

Skyler shrugged. Walt looked at her beseechingly. “I should go at least check if she still wants it on, in case she just forgot. If she’s going to bed she won’t want it burning overnight.”

 

Skyler looked like she wanted to argue. Walt knew full well she was remembering the last time he wandered off.

 

“Skyler? I promise I won’t show up naked on a street corner, I think they have pretty strong feelings about public nudity during Halloween.” He smiled tentatively.

 

She stared at him. “Not funny, Walt.” The relaxed line of her mouth said otherwise, though.

 

Walt grinned. “I’ll be right back.” He headed down the driveway and glanced back over his shoulder to see Skyler going back in the house and closing the door.

 

He walked until he hit the end of the driveway and then took off down the street.

 

As he huffed along he kept his eyes open for –

 

“Dude?”

 

Walt stopped and turned in the direction of Jesse’s voice. Jesse was leaning against a lamppost, smoking a cigarette, his mask perched on top of his head again and the pillowcase of candy resting by his feet. Walt walked over, rubbing his hands for warmth. It was chilly away from the warmth of the porch light.

 

“Night-time jog?” Jesse asked him, lifting his eyebrows.

 

“No uh, just wanted to make sure things were um. Settled?”

 

Jesse’s eyebrows went even higher as he took another drag from his cigarette. The crisp wind sent the smoke swirling around his face. “Settled?”

 

Walt felt awkward. “Yeah you know, I mean you had to run off before we could confirm, since my wife –“

 

“You mean the terminator?”

 

“My wife…since she showed up before we could…finalize.”

 

Jesse didn’t say anything but his eyes were laughing at Walt. “It’s good, man. Finalized. I wait for you to call me.”

 

Walt nodded. “Good.”

 

Jesse took a final drag and let the cigarette fall to the pavement where he ground it into some damp leaves with his shoe. He picked up his pillowcase.

 

“I better get going. This is when everyone wants to get rid of their candy and they just like, dump the rest of it into your bag.” His eyes lit up in excitement and Walt couldn’t help a sudden surge of…well, ’fondness’ was a strong word. But he remembered exactly what Jesse was talking about.

 

Jesse slung his pillowcase over his shoulder. “Who knows, might have better luck with them than you,” he said, teasing Walt. He started down the street.

 

Walt watched him walking away. “Sure about that?” he called after him.

 

Jesse turned around questioningly. Walt reached into his pocket, taking out a chocolate bar he’d swiped from the bowl while distracting Skyler. He held it up in front of Jesse, raising an eyebrow.

 

Jesse stared at Walt. And with a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, he wordlessly held out his bag.

 

“Aren’t you forgetting something?”

 

Jesse rolled his eyes but he was full on grinning now. “Trick or treat?”

 

Walt dropped the candy into Jesse’s bag, snorting at the unrestrained delight on Jesse’s face.

 

He stepped back and Jesse snapped his bag shut. Walt and Jesse stared at each other a beat longer, fallen leaves swirling around their ankles.

 

Walt broke first and cleared his throat. Jesse smiled again, turning to go.

 

“Happy Halloween, Mr. White.”

 

“Happy Halloween, Jesse.”

 

 

 

The End