Chapter Text
Lunch Club Group Chat
Schlatt - 12:20 pm
it's forest time baby
Cooper - 12:21 pm
already?? i thought it wasn't until later
Schlatt - 12:21 pm
it's right now pussy
Carson - 12:23 pm
no it's not
Schlatt - 12:23 pm
fine it's not, but i want to go early
Noah - 12:25 pm
asshole, nobody wants to go but you and carson
Carson - 12:27 pm
false accusations bitch. i never want to go anywhere
Schlatt - 12:27 pm
well, too bad, i won the go fish tournament last week and now you idiots have to go
Ted - 12:33 pm
schlatt, we agreed on going the fucking woods at 4:00. if you text us again before like 3:30, i will cut your throat
The "Lunch Club" lived in a town called Robin's Hill, Michigan. It was a smaller town, but not a bad one. The buildings were fairly clean, the schools were okay, and there was never any crime going around. Everyone knew everyone.
Schlatt hated that because old people could immediately identify him and call his mother. Not that it mattered a ton because his mom too busy to care 90% of the time. When she wasn't busy, that's when he usually got grounded. Now that's what Schlatt hated.
His friends were an eccentric group of kids from the school they all attended: West River High. It was kind of an awful place, but the teachers were all too tired to do their real jobs, so Schlatt thinks his high school experience was much easier than everyone else's. They always sat at the same lunch table, hence the group name.
Carson had held a go fish tournament at his house the day after Schlatt got ungrounded from vandalizing some local stop signs. They played the best of 30 rounds, and ended up pulling an all-nighter. They watched a movie about some girl who was possessed by demons or something. He didn't really pay attention, but Ted went "apeshit" as they'd called it. He loved that conspiracy ass shit. What was that nerdy tv show he watched? People with elemental powers? Didn't it start with 'av'?
Ave- no. Avo- no, that's not it either. Avu- god damn it. Ava- yeah, wait! That's it! Ava...
Schlatt was trying so hard to think of Ted's stupid show that he almost missed the turn to the Dead Valley Forest. What a name for a forest, you might be thinking. Seems like it was named that way only for foreshadowing purposes that something bad is going to happen there. Wrong!
It was named after a disease of sorts that spread through this stupid town 100 years ago. It started in the valley on the other side of this forest and spread east to the main town, causing a bunch of deaths. That's all Schlatt remembered from history class.
The path to the forest's entrance was a weird dirt road that looked like it was made by someone who was drunk, half-asleep, or both. His bike was not a fan of all the bumps, so much so that Schlatt was almost nervous he was going to pop a tire.
After many minutes of pedaling and saying stuff like "Damn it, pussy ass bike", he finally made it to the entrance of the Alba Baptista Memorial Trail, a hiking path that nobody used.
They said horrible, horrible things about this place. His mother said if he ever went there, she'd smack him shitless.
In that case, she'd have to slap him shitless 27 times. Schlatt enjoyed the fact that nobody liked it here because it was some haunted forest or whatever.
Some people spoke of ghosts or spirits, while others spoke of people who escaped from the insane asylum. Some people thought there was some area 51 type stuff, but they only believed it when they were high or drunk, so it didn't count.
When schlatt got there, he whipped out his phone. 3:58 pm, two minutes early. He saw Cooper and Noah talking on a log with Noah's bike propped up by Cooper's skateboard. Stupid skateboard, how did Cooper even get down here on that rough of a path?
Schlatt was never sured why Cooper skateboarded. He often made his opinion vocal that people should only ride skateboards if they're good at it, but Cooper usually just slapped him and kept riding, so he figured he just didn't want to listen.
Schlatt crept over quietly. Noah was facing towards him, but Schlatt held a finger up to his lips. The universal sign for 'ssh' or 'don't say a word bitch or i'll ride your mother's ass" if you're in the group.
"ARRGH!" he yelled, grabbing Cooper's shoulders suddenly and tightly.
Cooper screamed like the little girl who lived on schlatt's street. High pitched, sudden, and long. Cooper hissed and pulled away from Schlatt's hands, making very empty threats. Noah almost fell over laughing.
"Schlatt, I will personally kick your ass to high heavens!"
"Can't be higher than you were last night!"
"I will KILL you! Don't think I won't !" cooper said, before breaking a twig while making what cooper must've thought was a threatening face.
"Nice try, girlie. Wanna baby doll?" said schlatt dryly, while Noah kept laughing. Cooper's mouth waivered, trying to keep himself from laughing too.
Schlatt's phone buzzed. He picked it slowly out of his jacket pocket, almost dropping it.
Lunch Club Group Chat
Ted - 4:01
carson is slow but we are almost here. fuck you again schlatt for making us bike all way over here. i feel like a snail without it's shell bitch
Schlatt read it outloud and everyone burst out laughing. Ted was quite a creature to behold.
after a little more waiting, ted arrived with carson not really close behind. when he did get there, ted and schlatt decided to ambush him with tiny pebbles they found.
"Guys!" squeaked Carson, almost crashing his bike. He was the tallest but the easiest to bully. Just throwing things at Carson tested his reflexes, which honestly nobody in the group except Cooper had. 'Probably from falling too much,' quipped Schlatt when anybody mentioned it.
After more talking, joking, and bullying each other, they set out on the biking path. There wasn't any sun behind the thick clouds. It was quiet, empty.
"I got a bad feeling about this, guys," said Noah, clutching the straps of his backpack.
"Asshole! Nothing bad's gonna happen," said schlatt after an overly dramatic eye roll.
It immediately began pouring rain.
The group began yelling and complaining and threatening Schlatt, getting soaking wet. Noah and Cooper, the only ones who bothered to check the weather, stood under umbrellas, and fistbumped as they watched the other three scrambled for protection. They began to giggle and smile smugly.
carson, schlatt, and ted turned to face the responsible ones in the group, not happy about what was going on. The rain wasn't that heavy, but c'mon, they'd rather be dry than wet.
"Stop smiling at us suffering," said ted, spitting at them. Schlatt nodded, thrusting his favorite finger at them.
Suddenly, their smug grins turned into shocked looks of horror as they looked forwards.
"What is it, you babies? You want a mud bath?' said Ted, staring at once dry dirt around them.
"Guys?" said Schlatt, a little concerned.
Carson looked over his shoulder to see what they were looking at. He yelped and dropped his flashlight, frozen in place.
"What is it you pu-"
Schlatt stopped the insults once he turned around.
Two boys stood there drenched and dressed in hospital gowns, staring at them.