Chapter Text
“Don’t forget where home is. I expect you to visit often,” Erwin said as Mike shut the trunk of his car.
“This is not forever. I’ll be back in town before you know it.”
“I’m not so sure. But if you say so…”
“Shut up, Erwin. Anyway, tell Marie I said bye. And ask her to marry you...before I do.” Mike hugged Erwin tightly.
“Marry? We’ve only been seeing each other for a couple of months.”
“I’m telling you, snatch her up before someone else does.” Mike pulled back and mussed Erwin’s hair.
“You know, I hate when you do that,” Erwin grumbled, trying to put his hair back in order.
“That’s why I do it,” Mike chuckled. “I’ve got to go if I want to make good time. I’ll call you when I get settled.”
“You better. And don’t forget about us little people while you’re out there living your dream.”
“Forget Marie, never!”
“Very funny. Bye, Mike.”
“Bye, Erwin.”
Erwin waved as his best friend of 25 years drove away. Mike’s departure hit him a little harder than he anticipated and he found himself feeling a little lost as he stood outside of the empty house behind him, the ‘For Sale’ sign creaking softly with the breeze.
Most of his life had been spent with Mike by his side. Everywhere they went, they came as a set - Mike and Erwin. Mike had been part of his identity for so long that he wasn’t sure that he knew how to be just Erwin. Just thinking about it made loneliness well up inside him.
Mike deserved to have a life outside of this small town, and Erwin knew that. Erwin had other friends, and Mike was always just a text or phone call away, so there was no need to feel so depressed. But it was hard not to when he suddenly found himself with a lot of free time on his hands. Maybe he should get a hobby.
Erwin decided to take up jogging after work a couple days a week. It seemed like a good idea at the onset, but as he panted his way through Main Street, he started questioning his sanity. He wasn’t in his twenties anymore. He stopped to lean against a vacant building as the pain in his side refused to be ignored any longer. Sweaty and out of breath, he bent nearly in half as he tried to catch his breath.
“You’ll only make it worse by doing that. You won’t get enough oxygen.”
Erwin looked up at the sound of the unfamiliar, deep voice, and saw a short, attractive man standing in the doorway of the building he decided to die against. He was wearing a dark pink apron with a logo on it, and Erwin had realized that the building that kept him propped up was no longer vacant. When did another business move in?
“I...uh-“
“I think you need to come sit down before you fall down. Having you unconscious in front of the door would be bad for business.” The dark-haired man grabbed Erwin by the arm and pulled him inside, the chill of air conditioning already making it easier to breathe.
Erwin remembered when this particular building housed an old fashioned apothecary/pharmacy. It had gone out of business approximately ten years ago when the large chain pharmacy opened up just down the street. It had been vacant all that time, but it seemed that the property had been well maintained. The large built-in shelving units were still solid and restored and housed beautiful canisters and jars full of dried leaves and herbs. The long soapstone counters showcased a variety of mixed-matched tea sets. The glass display cases held a variety of baked goods. And the original wooden floors gleamed in the evening sun. It was quaint and cozy, with just a small smattering of plush, padded chairs and sturdy tables.
“It’s a tea shop,” Erwin guessed with a smile.
“Yes. You are an observant one, aren’t you. Please, have a seat. I’ll get you a cold drink.”
“Thank you,” Erwin said as the man returned with a cool glass of water. “I wasn’t aware that you opened up shop. How long have you been open?”
“Don’t feel bad. My soft opening was yesterday, but the grand opening isn’t until Saturday.” The man sat down across from him. “I’m Levi, by the way.”
“Erwin.” Erwin offered his hand, and Levi shook it.
“So, Erwin, I take it that you’re a local?”
“Yeah, born and raised. Moved away for college, but found myself back here.” Erwin took a sip of his water. “How about you? I know you’re not a local.”
“No, I’m from Mitras. I just moved here about a month ago.”
“I bet that was quite the culture shock, for a city boy,” Erwin chuckled.
“You have no idea. I almost had a meltdown the day I moved in and I found out that the grocers closed at 9. I didn’t know where any restaurants were or their hours. My dinner that night was an outdated, overpriced can of soup and stale crackers from the all-night gas station at the edge of town.”
“That’s rough. See, if you were a local, you would know to avoid Rick’s and go to the convenience store on the opposite end of town, Mona’s. She sometimes bakes some fresh cookies.”
“Where were you a month ago, when I was starving?”
Erwin couldn’t help but laugh out loud at Levi’s deadpan expression.
“Failing in my duties as the welcoming committee, that’s for sure.”
“Tche,” Levi grunted with a roll of his eyes as he stood back up. “Do you have a sweet tooth, Erwin?”
“Is it that obvious? I thought the jogging was helping a little,” Erwin joked and Levi shook his head. “Yes, I like sweets.”
“Wait right here. I’ll be back.” Levi walked over to the glass display cases and pulled out a large, flaky pastry dusted with powdered sugar. It was delicate and pretty, and it smelled heavenly, making Erwin’s mouth water. He placed the confection on a brown parchment lined plate and poured a cup of fragrant tea. He placed both in front of Erwin and sat back down.
“This looks amazing.” Erwin took a generous bite of the pastry, surprised by the tart juiciness of berries balanced by the sweetness of the cream cheese filling.
“Good?”
“Oh my god. This is fantastic.” Erwin knew he should have been embarrassed by the enthusiasm of his second bite, but the pastry was too delicious for him to care. “Did you make this?”
“Hell no,” Levi scoffed. “My sister, Isabel, is my pastry chef. She’s fresh out of culinary school, so I’m letting her use my tea shop as a test kitchen.”
“Well, tell her I’m more than happy to be her test subject,” Erwin announced, taking a sip of the still-steaming tea.
“You’re ridiculous.”
Levi was probably right and Erwin had to agree that he probably was, but that didn’t keep Levi from accepting Erwin’s invitation for a celebratory dinner Saturday evening after his Grand Opening.
It was amazingly easy to fall into a friendship with Levi. For two people that appeared to be so opposite, they had a surprising amount of overlapping interests and opinions. That wasn’t to say that they didn’t have their fair share of debates, because they did, but it was fun how they bantered back and forth. Erwin always appreciated Levi’s quick wit and sarcasm.
“It’s refreshing,” Erwin said one evening over drinks.
“It’s refreshing that Levi is an asshole?” Farlan asked, leaning an arm on Levi’s shoulder.
“Fuck you, Farlan. I am not an asshole.” Levi shrugged Farlan’s arm off.
“I wouldn’t say Levi is an asshole,” Marie interjected.
“You’re right. I was leaning more toward dick or bitch,” Isabel replied.
“I vote bitch!” Hange threw up their hand.
“I hate all of you,” Levi growled.
“ Actually , I was going for opinionated,” Marie corrected.
“You’re all wrong,” Erwin laughed. “Levi just doesn’t suffer fools gladly. He’s real and honest, and I don’t see a lot of that with people. And I see a lot of people.”
“Of course, hon,” Marie said, patting Erwin’s arm. “I’m going to go powder my nose.”
“Why doesn’t she say she’s going to the bathroom? I mean, we all know where she's going.”
“It’s called being a lady, Is. Maybe you should take notes,” Farlan teased, earning him a chicken wing to the forehead.
Erwin watched in amusement as the group laughed and fought with each other. Yes, being friends with Levi was exactly what he needed after Mike left. While Levi could never replace Mike, he definitely made his absence more bearable.
As the months crept on, Levi and Erwin got closer. Erwin still heard from Mike at least a couple of times a week, but he saw Levi almost daily. He had become so close to Levi in such a short amount of time it was almost scary. It was almost like they shared a brain. Hange often teased that they were bordering on telepathic the way they were able to communicate without saying a word. Erwin found himself sharing more of himself with Levi than Mike.
It was Levi that he first confided in when he felt that his relationship with Marie was stagnant. Levi had supported his decision to end the tepid relationship, knowing that neither Erwin nor Marie was truly happy. Mike had just teased, and said that he was going to call up Marie now that she was back on the market.
It was Erwin that Levi called in the middle of the night after a terrible nightmare about Isabel and Farlan. They had stayed on the phone until the first soft light of dawn filtered through the window.
Levi was the first thing on his mind in the morning, and the last thing he thought of before drifting off to sleep at night. In just under a year, Levi had become completely irreplaceable to Erwin.
“I think I love him,” he whispered guiltily to Mike through the phone one evening.
“So, tell him,” Mike responded as if it was that simple.
“You make it sound so easy,” Erwin sighed.
“Because it is. If you love him, tell him. If you don’t, someone else will.”
“You don’t understand. He’s not just a buddy, Mike. He’s my best friend. The only person in this world that I’m closer to is you. I don’t want to lose that. He trusts me not to take advantage of that.” Erwin could feel the tightness in his chest that had become so familiar as of late. It was an ache that went soul-deep and made it hard to breathe. It happened every time he thought of Levi no longer being a part of his life because he couldn’t keep his feelings in check. Levi’s trust was a delicate thing and he would rather chop off his right arm than betray that trust.
“Who’s to say he doesn’t feel the same way?”
“Just trust me on this one. I rather have him as just a friend than not at all.”
“Well, I guess you know best,” Mike said in defeat.
“Yeah,” Erwin replied, knowing that Levi would have given better advice.
“Wow, this place is smaller than I remember,” Mike said as he got out of Erwin’s car and stretched.
“You had to know that this place was never going to change,” Erwin said, coming up beside him.
“No place like home, I suppose.” Mike’s tone was indifferent, despondent, almost as if he really didn’t want to be here.
“I’m surprised you decided to come back so soon.”
“Yeah, me too. To be honest, I really didn’t want to. I’m just waiting to find my next ticket out of here. This is temporary. I enjoyed the traveling a lot more than I thought I would. This place just makes me feel claustrophobic. I don’t know why you stay here, honestly.”
“It’s home. I’m happy here.” Erwin shrugged and handed Mike the key to his new apartment.
“And Levi is here,” Mike teased.
“Stop. I should have never told you.” Erwin ducked his head with a blush. “Come on, let’s get you moved in.”
Mike had been home about a week before Erwin got the chance to introduce his two best friends. Mike was waiting for him outside of his office building as he got off work.
“Are you so bored that you decided to stalk me?” Erwin joked as he walked up to his friend.
“That wouldn’t be much more exciting, Erwin.”
“What are you saying? I’m boring?”
“You said it. I didn’t.” Mike held his hands up with a sly smile.
“Asshole,” Erwin grumbled. “You want to get a cup of tea? Levi’s should still be open.”
“Yeah, let’s go. I’m interested in what it is about this Levi that has the mighty Erwin Smith so smitten.”
Little did Erwin know that he would live to regret this decision.
“Levi,” Erwin called as he entered the tea shop.
“Erwin?” Levi popped up from behind a display. “Great timing. I need to use you. That damn brat that works on weekends put some boxes on the top shelf in storage and I need you to march your tall ass in there and get them for me.”
“Yes, sir, Captain. Anyway, it will give you and Mike to get to know each other.” Erwin turned to Mike. “Mike, as you can probably guess, this is Levi. Levi, meet Mike.”
“So, you’re the infamous Levi.” Erwin heard Mike say as he made his way to the back storage room. He just hoped that his two friends would get along. Levi wasn’t the easiest person to get to know and Mike was often too cocky.
But, as it turned out, that wasn’t why he should have been worried. As he entered back into the storefront with the boxes in tow, he watched as Levi blushed while typing his number into Mike’s phone.
“So, it’s a date,” Mike said with a triumphant grin.
“Yeah, I guess it is,” Levi responded.
Erwin’s heart broke.
Erwin had secretly thought that Levi wouldn’t tolerate Mike for long, and this thing they had between them would fizzle before it could really get started. He had been wrong, so very wrong.
The evenings he usually spent with Levi were now spent alone as Levi was now spending all of his spare time with Mike. They were always together. Erwin often felt like a third wheel when they did have time to spend with him. He started excusing himself from their invitations.
Erwin knew he should just be happy that his friends found happiness in each other. He knew that he should move on from Levi, because Levi was obviously never going to love him back. He had tried, but the thought of dating made him sick to his stomach. He loved Levi. At this rate, he would probably always love Levi, and he would just have to satisfy himself with the knowledge that he and Levi were friends. That was enough. It would have to be.
“Hey, Erwin?”
Erwin looked up from the pizza he was eating. They were at Mike’s apartment. It was an odd evening, just the two of them because Levi went to the movies with Isabel and Farlan.
“Yeah,” Erwin prompted after swallowing his pizza.
“I wanted to tell you something.”
“Okay?” Erwin said, confused.
“I’m going to ask Levi to move in with me. Probably tonight when he gets back from the movies.”
“Wow, okay,” Erwin choked, heart shattering.
“That’s all you have to say?” Mike sounded offended.
“I wish I never introduced the two of you,” Erwin grumbled, mouth tight.
“What’s wrong with you? I thought you would be happy for me, Erwin.”
“I am, of course I am.”
“Yeah, well you sure as hell don’t sound like it,” Mike spat.
“It’s just,” Erwin paused, running his fingers through his hair with a sigh.
“It’s just what?”
“I have never envied you. You were always the more popular one, you always managed to be the center of attention, always the one getting all the girls and the guys. I was always in the background, watching as everything always came so easy to you.”
“Erwin, that’s not true. Just look at how successful you are.”
“You were always better with people, but that never bothered me. I was never once jealous of the fact that the girl I wanted to go out with in college asked me for your number instead. Or that you asked out the guy you knew I had a thing for back a few years ago.”
“Erwin, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize-“
“I was never jealous of any of that...until now. I’m happy that you are in this wonderful relationship and it’s everything you ever wanted, but it absolutely kills me that it is with Levi.” Erwin licked his lips and let out a shaky breath. “I can’t help it, this bitterness. I’m in love with him, and you knew that. And you pursued him anyway.”
“I didn’t know-“
“Bullshit!” Erwin accused.
“Okay, I did know. But it wasn’t like you were going to do anything about it. What did expect would happen, Erwin? That everyone would just stay away in the hope that he would wake up and decide to love you?”
Erwin flinched.
“Shit, that was low. I’m sor-“
“No, you’re right. I can’t help how he feels about you, or how you feel about him. I know that. You both deserve better than I can offer right now, so I’m just going to back away for a little while.”
“Erwin, you can’t mean that. You can’t just disappear for awhile and everything be okay. Think about what this would do to Levi,” Mike begged.
“I know it makes me an asshole, Mike, and I know that Levi will be hurt. I’m being selfish. I get it, but I’m telling you that I can’t handle this right now. One day I can, but it’s not today.” Erwin bit his trembling lip and closed his eyes for a moment. “Goodbye, Mike.”
“Erwin, wait-“
But it was too late, Erwin had already walked out the door.
Hange Tuesday, 9:45 pm
<Erwin?>
Read
<Mike said ur upset>
Read
<I’m here if u want 2 talk>
Read
Levi Friday, 11:52 pm
<hey asshole>
Read
<wtf is going on?>
Read
<no one’s heard from u since Sun.>
Read
<fine, whatever>
Read
Mike Saturday, 2:00 pm
<I’m sorry>
Read
Erwin sighed and put down his phone. He had nothing to say to anyone. It was easier for him to be an asshole than it was for him to pretend he didn’t hurt.
Keith Shadis Saturday, 2:05 pm
<Mr. Smith, I was touching base to let you know that I have sent you an email with the travel arrangements for your interview next week. We look forward to meeting with you and hope that Marley is to your liking. Please feel free to contact me if there are any issues with these arrangements. -Keith Shadis, Assistant to Darius Zackley>
Erwin had deleted the job listing two weeks ago when it popped up in his inbox. It would be promotion within the company, but in their overseas branch. It didn’t interest him at the time, content to spend his life in the town he grew up in. However, after Mike’s announcement on Sunday, Erwin returned home and immediately searched his deleted emails in order to submit his resume. His supervisor told him on Tuesday that he had landed the interview.
Maybe he could finally get over Levi if there was an ocean separating them.