Chapter Text
Patricia watched as the pieces of curly blonde hair fell around her, Virgil was at daycare and Logan at work, so she took the time to get her hair cut.
She could barely see herself in the mirror due to not having her glasses, but happy tears were already filling her eyes as she looked at her half short hair.
That night when Logan returned home he commented on it, Patricia immediately gave the excuse that it would be easier to do things without Virgil pulling her hair, Logan said that he liked it.
***
Patricia sighed, she was curled on her side, facing away from Logan, the dim light from her phone screen illuminating her face as she scrolled through tumblr page after tumblr page, reading about dysphoria, about gender identity. She swapped from tumblr to a baby name site, not unlike the one that her and Logan had used to pick out Virgil's name.
She was barely paying attention to the names until one caught her eye, Patton. She smiled softly, that was it, it sounded nice in her head, Patton Morale.
She yawned and sat her phone on her nightstand, Patton.
She let the name ring around her head for a while before she drifted off to sleep.
***
Patton sighed as she gathered Virgil into her arms, she had been trying to read more on pronouns as Virgil played but the small boy had decided he needed her attention, she chuckled and kissed his forehead, he settled against her as she continued to read a list of pronouns and gender identities.
She finally let out a small groan, pressing her head to her son's soft brown hair, she didn't want to accept it, she didn't want to admit she wanted to use male pronouns, that she wanted to be a guy.
If she was anything in between maybe it would be easier, she wouldn't confuse her son, or terrify her boyfriend, her son's father.
But she couldn't deny it. He pulled Virgil closer as tears filled his eyes.
He wanted to be male.
Why couldn't he have figured it out when things would've been easier?
***
Patton stopped wearing the dresses and skirts he owned, he mostly wore shorts, tshirts, and sweatpants now, when asked he would just comment that the skirts and dresses that he once loved just didn't work when it came to having a hyperactive toddler.
Patton stopped wearing makeup, when asked he simply said he didn't have time for it.
Patton made every excuse under the sun to anyone who asked any questions until he finally realized he couldn't avoid it anymore, he couldn't do this to his family.
***
Dear Logan,
I'm sorry. I know that an apology will never suffice for what I'm doing to you, but this is for the best.
When you read this I will be long gone, I promise you didn't do anything wrong, please don't believe you did, I'm leaving Virgil in your care, I know you'll take good care of him.
You and Virgil don't deserve to deal with me or my problems any longer. This wont make sense now but one day it will.
One day I'll return to you and him, but for now I have to leave, I can't keep being someone I'm not for you, you do not deserve anything less than who I truly am.
Which is why I'm leaving, I'm leaving because I cannot give you myself, I cannot give you who I truly am.
Please take care of our son. Tell him about me, tell him his mom is so sorry she left him.
Tell him that I love him so much. Because I do, I love him dearly, but this is for the best.
Please don't try to find me Logan, I promise this is for the best.
I'm leaving a note in Virgil's room for him. I want you to read it to him, when he misses me, when you miss me, I want him to know that I love him, that I'm not doing this to hurt him.
I just want you to know you're the love of my life, and I am so lucky to have met you and to have had a beautiful child with you.
Give him the world for me.
Love, Pat
Patton stared at the letter, taking a shaky breath, it was rested right under Logan's glasses, he would notice it first thing in the morning.
Patton quietly slipped out of their bedroom and to Virgils, it was decorated in shades of purple and with tons of nightmare before christmas items, Virgil had taken a huge liking to the movie when he was young so they redesigned his room to fit it.
Patton walked over to the crib, looking down at his beautiful son, he stayed there, watching his breathing for a while before he finally placed an envelope on top of the boys bookshelf, Virgil wouldn't be able to read the note himself, not until he was older, but Patton knew he needed to leave something for the boy.
He walked back to the crib, quietly lowering the bars and pressing a kiss to his son's forehead before locking them back into place. He walked back to his and Logan's room, pulling his bag out of the closet and taking one last look at his sleeping boyfriend.
He smiled sadly at him, blowing a kiss to him before turning and walking down the stairs, off to start his new life, a few towns away.
~ Four years later ~
Patton sighed as he placed his bag by the front door. "Emile! I'm home!" Patton called out, running a hand through his hair.
Emile emerged from their room, Patton took a moment to glance at their wrist, Emile was sporting a baby blue bracelet, male pronouns today. "Do you how do?" He asked, smiling at the tired boy.
"Tired." He chuckled. "Is Remy still coming by for dinner?" Emile nodded.
"Yep. He's still got one more class today then he'll be over." Patton nodded, kicking his shoes off and moving to sit on the couch.
He and Emile had met on their first day of classes, he and Emile were both studying to be psychologists, they quickly bonded over their love for cartoons and their similar personality traits. Emile confessed after their class that he was gender fluid, it took some courage but after a few days of talking Patton finally admitted to being trans, they just grew closer after that.
Which led them to where they were now, sharing an apartment while they continued their schooling that seemed to never end.
Patton never got over losing his family, he knew he had to leave them, for both his and their sake, but it still hurt.
Every time he saw a toddler, with big blue eyes and brown hair it just made it hurt even more, Patton and Emile had gotten drunk together one night, around a year after they first met when Patton talked for the first time about what he had left behind.
"I have a kid." Patton blurted out, he was still holding his cup and was leaning heavily on Emile who looked down at him.
"What?" She asked, carding her fingers through Patton's hair. They were both drunk, but not drunk enough they would forget everything the next day.
"I have a kid. Two years ago I realized I wasnt cis and I had a one year old and a boyfriend, and when I couldnt take it anymore I left because I thought it would be best for them. But I miss them." Tears filled Patton's eyes and he pushed his circle rimmed glasses up to wipe them away. "I miss my son so much."
Emile pulled him closer, pressing a kiss to his head. "It's okay sweetie." She said. "You did what you thought was best."
Patton was brought out of the memory by the door opening and a very excitable man holding a starbucks drink walking in. "Sup bitches!" He said, taking a sip of the iced monstrosity.
"Language!" Patton said, he really didn't care that much but he still liked to tease Remy about his excessive potty mouth. Patton pushed himself off the couch, it was his turn to cook dinner and since Remy was now there he figured he should start.
"Now now popstar you don't have to chastise me." Remy smirked, pressing a kiss to Emiles lips. "You are stuck with me you know."
"Or I could just kick Emile out then I wouldn't have to deal with either of you." Patton commented as he walked to the kitchen, Emile and Remy following to keep him company.
"You wouldn't dare." Emile said, crossing his arms and looking at Patton with a challenging look on his face.
"I could if I wanted to. I'm not going to though." Patton chuckled as he started pulling out the ingredients for chicken alfredo. "Besides I'd be pretty lonely if I got rid of my roommate and one of my best friends."
"Speaking of." Remy said, his voice pitching up as he wiggled his eyebrows. "I may or may not have someone to set you up with."
"Remy we've talked about this, I don't need to date anyone to be happy." Patton said, trying to ignore the way Remy wiggled his eyebrows.
"I know you don't need someone to be happy but I just think you should try it! He's in my astronomy class, he's studying to be a history teacher, and he has an adorable five year old. Come on, let me set you two up on one date? If you don't like him I'll leave you alone about it." Patton sighed as he tossed the cut up chicken into a pan to cook.
"Fine. But I'm only agreeing to shut you up." Patton turned around to give him a pointed look. "You better not make me regret this."
"You won't I swear on it!" Remy hopped off the kitchen counter he had been sitting on to give Patton a hug. "I'm gonna text him now and get you guys settled on a blind date. Oh this is gonna be fun!"
***
Logan smiled softly at his son as he pulled the blankets up to his chest. "Do you want a story tonight Virgil?" Virgil yawned and reached up to rub his eyes, looking sleepily up at his dad.
"Will you read mom's letter to me?" He asked, voice soft. Logan gave him a sad smile as he pulled open the drawer to Virgil's nightstand. He had been reading the letter Patricia left for Virgil to him for many years, he read it to him nightly, and then once he was three he let Virgil decide if he wanted to hear it or not, by now the boy asked for it still, not as often, but he still asked for it at least once a week.
Logan settled back next to Virgil, one arm wrapped around him, the other holding the letter as he began to read.
"Dear Virgil, when you're old enough to understand this letter you may not remember me anymore, but I'm your mom, as I'm writing this you are one year and two months old, your first word was "Jack" which I can only assume was because of your love for the nightmare before christmas. Your favorite color is purple, and I love you more than anything in the world. The first time you hear this letter, and for a long time after that when you hear this letter you won't understand it's meaning. But this is for when you're old enough to understand. This letter is my parting gift to you. I want you to know how much I love you, I'm not leaving because I don't love you, or don't care about you, I'm leaving because I have to. I promise I'll see you again someday soon, but for now I need to part ways so I can better myself, so I can come back into your life and be there for you like you need me to be. I love you so much, you mean the world to me. Never forget that, never forget that mommy loves you, because she does, and always will love you. Love, mommy."
Virgil was sound asleep by the end of the letter, and Logan slowly pulled his arm from under him, folding the letter and placing it back in the drawer before he finally let himself wipe his eyes.
He didn't know where Patricia was, but he hoped that she was happy, he could only hope she would come back to him.
As he settled into his own bed for the night his phone buzzed, he looked at it and saw a text from Remy.
Remy had quickly thrown himself into Logan's life once they met, but Logan found he didn't mind the hyper boys company, he had even met Virgil a couple times and Virgil adored him.
However the text wasn't something he expected, when Remy had mentioned in passing that day he wanted to set him up on a date he didn't expect it to actually happen, yet here he was with a message from Remy, telling him the details of their blind date.
Logan smiled softly, maybe this is really what he needed, something to get his mind off the past.
***
"For someone who doesn't care you sure are getting pretty worked up over how you look." Remy commented, he was sitting on Patton's bed, watching the boy pace around in his binder as Emile shifted through his closet.
"How about this?" Emile asked, passing Patton one of his button ups, it was a pale a blue with tiny cacti dotting it. "That, tucked into these." Emile tossed a pair of black skinny jeans at Patton. "And your converse, a nice, casual, yet slightly dressy, outfit." Patton bit his lip and shifted slightly.
"Is it too late to just cancel?" Patton asked as he pulled the button up over his shoulders.
"Yes!" Remy said, taking a sip of his iced drink, Patton honestly wondered if the workers at Starbucks even made Remy pay for his drink with how often he drank there.
"Patton it's gonna be okay! This is just a first date, nothing more than chatting about your lives needs to happen, just go out there, meet the guy, and decide from there what's gonna happen." Emile said as she passed Patton the jeans once he finished buttoning his shirt.
"Right. Just going out to dinner and chatting, that's all this is." Patton sighed and ran a hand through his curly hair. "I can do this."
***
"Are you sure you're okay?" Logan asked Roman yet again. "Like I said my number and the emergency numbers are on the fridge, there's-."
"Money for dinner on the table, Virgil goes to bed at 9, you should be back before then but if you aren't he likes to be read to, if he asks to have the letter read to him don't question it." Roman repeated back to Logan. "I've got this, go, have fun on your date okay?" Logan sighed, brushing his bangs out of his face and adjusting his glasses.
"Thanks for watching him Ro. I'll do my best to be back before it's time for bed."
"No sweat, stay out as long as you like, I'm just glad to see you finally going out." Logan gave a small chuckle.
"Well we'll see how this night goes, who knows I may be going out more often." Despite how worried Logan was about leaving Virgil for the night he was genuinely hopeful for this date, he trusted Remy's judgement so hopefully this was someone Logan got along well with.
"Okay, okay! Go!" Roman cried, giving Logan a light shove towards the door. Logan gave him a smile, kissed Virgil's head as he passed the living room, and headed out, starting to make his way to the restaurant they were meeting at.
***
Patton shifted nervously in his seat, he was the first one to get to the restaurant so he was sitting alone, sipping water nervously, he was terrified for this date, what if they could tell he was trans? He had mostly passed since he had been on T for years now but the idea of someone finding out immediately was something that always scared him more than anything else. What if they were transphobic? Patton was considering standing and running when he heard a voice, an all too familiar voice.
"You're Remy's friend right?" Patton looked up, and he was definitely considering doing that running thing now as he stared into the eyes of the man he was still madly in love with.
The man he left four years ago.
Logan.
Chapter 2
Summary:
Patton isn't sure how to handle the situation at hand.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Patton took a second to speak, clearing his throat. "Sorry, uh, yeah, you must be my date?" Patton had never been more thankful for the way his voice had changed on testosterone than he was at this very moment, Logan clearly didn't recognize him as he sat down in front of him, giving him a smile.
"Well it's nice to meet you, My name is Logan Sanders." Patton panicked, did he give his actual last name? Will Logan recognize him? Before he could think about the lie he spoke.
"Patton Picani." He said, internally flinching at the lie, he could have easily made up a name but no, he had to steal his roommates.
"I love the name Patton." Logan smiled fondly at Patton, and Patton had to stop himself from confessing who he was right then and there. If Logan was ready to move on like this then maybe Patton should be moving on as well, he should just wait this out and then go home and tell Remy he never wanted to see him again, however Patton couldn't do that.
He decided he was gonna do this, if Logan still liked him then great, if Logan decided he didn't want to see him again then he would leave it at that, but he was gonna let Logan make the decision.
Their waiter came by and got Logan's drink order, Patton glanced over the menu to give himself a moment to stall before he spoke, it might not be the best first topic for a date but he decided that he needed to know. "So Remy said you have a son, how old is he?"
Logan brightened up at that, and Patton couldn't hide the smile that crossed his face as Logan launched into talking about his- no, their son. "Hes five, he's incredibly smart and absolutely adorable. He's already reading at a first grade reading level despite only having just started kindergarten." Logan smiled. "Sorry, hes basically my whole life so I could probably talk about him for hours."
"No it's fine. I love kids." Patton hoped that the sadness of missing out on Virgil's life didn't show on his face. "What's his name?"
"Virgil."
"Like the Roman poet or from Dante's inferno?" Patton asked, already knowing the answer was both.
"Both. My girlfriend loved poetry, and I was quite fond of Dante's inferno, we found the name on a baby name site and when we realized that the name belonged to two things we both loved we settled for it." Patton nodded, he remembered clearly him and Logan picking the name, how it immediately felt right for their son, even though he was barely bigger than a sweet potato.
"That's beautiful." Patton didn't comment on his girlfriend, he couldn't bring himself to bring up that topic and lie about not knowing about the situation.
"What about you, I believe Remy mentioned you were studying psychology?" Logan asked, Patton nodded.
Patton didn't think in his entire time dating Logan he had been this vulnerable with him, but now that he was himself, he was truly who he was meant to be, it was easier to open up more to Logan.
They didn't have a closed off or bad relationship, but Patton always felt like there were things he couldn't share, but four years later, tons of hormones, and physical changes thanks to said hormones, Patton felt like he could tell Logan anything.
Even after they finished their meal they ended up sitting and chatting for another hour, about anything and everything, their schooling, Virgil, their friends, Patton found himself not ready to leave when Logan commented he needed to be heading home. "Wait." Patton said as Logan stood, Patton pulled his phone out of his pocket. "Could I get your number?" Logan smiled and grabbed the phone.
"Of course, that is if I can have yours?" Logan pulled his phone out and passed it to Patton.
Patton had to stop himself from crying when he saw Virgil, the boy was wearing a black checked jacket, a black tshirt, and was wearing skull face paint. "Aw." Patton finally said, hoping that Logan didn't catch his voice crack. "Is this Virgil?" Patton knew it was, there was no mistaking his blue eyes, so similar to Pattons, or the brown hair he shared with Logan.
"Yes it is. That was his halloween costume, he wanted to do something much more elaborate but we didn't have the time since we were in the process and getting settled in our new home here, so that's his makeshift Jack Skellington." Patton smiled and finally opened up the contacts app.
"He's adorable." He said, typing in his name and number before passing Logan his phone back. "I hope to hear from you." Patton said.
"Likewise." Logan gave Patton a small wave before he left the building, Patton sat in the booth for just a moment longer, wiping the tears from his eyes, boy did he have a lot to tell Em and Remy.
***
Logan quietly opened his front door, he smiled when he saw Roman dozing on the couch, it was barely ten oclock but he knew that the theatre nerd barely slept as is, so instead of waking him and kicking him out he put a blanket over him and let him sleep turning off the tv.
Logan headed up to Virgil's room, he smiled at the bundle of blankets, he was about to walk off when he heard shuffling and a small voice. "Dad?" Logan smiled and walked fully into the room, sitting on the edge of Virgil's bed.
"You should be sleeping Virgil." He said softly, running his fingers through his hair.
"I know, I just couldn't. Uncle Roman isn't as good at reading stories as you. Don't tell him I told you that though." Logan gave a small chuckle.
"Your secret is safe with me." Logan pressed a kiss to Virgil's forehead.
"Dad?"
"Yes Virgil?"
"Am I gonna have a new parent?" Logan froze, he wasn't exactly sure how to respond to that, he really enjoyed his date, and he seemed to genuinely be interested in Virgil, but he wasn't sure he could bring another parental figure into Virgil's life to leave him.
"Not exactly. Daddy may get a boyfriend, but that doesn't mean he has to be your dad too okay? If you don't like him then you tell me, if you do like him then we'll see where our relationship goes okay?" Virgil nodded.
"Can…" He looked down at his blankets. "Can I sleep with you?" Logan pressed another kiss to Virgil's forehead.
"Of course, come on." Logan stood, holding his arms out for Virgil who moved from under his mound of blankets to wrap around Logan, who carried the sleepy sloth to his bed, laying him down in it. "I'm gonna get ready for bed okay? You get all comfy."
Virgil nodded and by the time Logan was in pajamas and crawling into bed he was already sound asleep. Logan settled into bed and pulled his son to lay on his chest.
He did really enjoy his night, he grabbed his phone, sending a quick goodnight text to Patton, before he cuddled up with his son and fell asleep.
***
When Patton walked through the door to his and Emiles apartment he found Remy and Emile cuddling on the couch, a dumb romcom playing on the tv. "Virge!" Remy said as soon as he saw him, he and Emile adjusted so he could sit, and he did, letting out a groan and covering his face.
He wanted to be mad at Remy for setting him up on a date with the boyfriend he left with his kid, but Remy didn't know, the only person who knew was Emile, he took a deep breath. "I think it went okay." He finally said, voice soft. "But…"
"But?" Emile asked, looking at Patton worriedly.
"Remy there's something you have to know about my past." Remy raised an eyebrow.
"Okay…?" He asked, looking at Patton with concern.
"Four years ago, I realized I was trans, you know that part already, but what I never told you is… I had a kid, and a boyfriend. My son was one year and two months when I left, I left because I felt like I couldn't be there for the two of them properly if I wasn't accepting and being myself…" Patton looked down at his lap. "My sons name was Virgil, and his father was Logan Sanders." Remy let out a gasp and sat up straighter.
" Fuck Patton I'm so sorry I didnt know-."
"I know you wouldn't have done it had you known Rem. It's okay. It… It went really well, I kind of panicked and said my last name was Picani, sorry Emile, but I don't think he knows it's me, I mean I'm a totally different person than I was back then, I'm just… Concerned about how to move forward, I would love to see him again but it can't be built on lies again."
"Be yourself." Emile said as she took Patton's hand. "I think you should take your time to tell him that you're his old girlfriend, but be yourself, let him get to know the real you, that way he doesn't try to love you for who you used to be." Patton pulled Emile into a hug.
"Thanks Em." She chuckled and patted Patton's back.
"No problem pop."
***
Patton had spent most of his days not in class (and some in class) texting Logan, apparently he currently worked in a library, which meant he actually had quite a bit of free time to text on his work days, Patton smiled as he walked into the coffee shop he and Remy worked at, everyone constantly chastised Remy for still drinking starbucks when he worked there, he was looking at his phone, typing back a message to Logan as he walked to the break room, only pausing to put his bag into a locker and lock it, sitting at the staff table to continue his conversation until it was time for him to clock in.
"Oh you got it bad." Patton jumped at Remy's voice.
"No I don't, shut up." Patton said, pocketing his phone and standing.
"I think you do, cause I was standing here for a solid two minutes watching you smiling at your phone like it was the most precious gem in the world, and you didn't notice me until I said something." Patton blushed as he typed in his number on the time clock.
"Shut it coffee boy." He said, though his voice held no malice as he nudged Remy gently and headed to the front of the store, where he and Remy took over for the other two workers so they could go home. "Besides what does it matter if I do?"
"It doesn't, I just like teasing you." Remy said as he began to make some monstrosity of a drink, he enjoyed fucking around and making new things, Patton wasnt sure how he hadn't been fired for it yet.
He wasn't paying much attention when the bell rang, he was in the middle of checking the time stamps on the pastries so he called out a simple welcome, finishing his check and standing up straight, he walked over to the counter. "What can I get for you?" He asked as he typed his number into the cash register, finally looking up and meeting chocolate eyes. "Oh." He said, smiling softly. "Hey Logan."
"Ah, hello Patton, I wasn't aware you worked here." He said, smiling back at him.
"Daddy is that a friend?" Virgil asked, tugging on Logan's sleeve. Patton could've dissolved into sobs right then and there as he looked down at his son, his beautiful son.
"Ah, yes he is, Virgil this is Patton, Patton this is Virgil."
"Nice to meet ya kiddo." Patton said, Remy seemed to be standing by in case anything bad happened, especially now that he knew Virgil was Patton's kid, he finally reacted by walking from behind the counter over to Virgil.
"Well if it isn't my favorite little kid." Remy said, kneeling in front of him.
"Rem!" The kid exclaimed, wrapping his arms around Remy's neck in a hug.
"How's it going?" Virgil pulled away and smiled brightly at him.
"Good! My teachers say I'm reading really well and me and daddy have been working on me reading even bigger kid things, oh and my uncle Roman promised me we were gonna watch a bunch of disney movies this weekend!" Patton smiled softly at the two, Virgil and Remy continued to talk and Logan turned his attention back to Patton.
"I really enjoyed our date the other night." Logan looked down at the counter. "Would you like to go on another one? Say friday? I could pick you up around 6?" Patton lit up at the idea and quickly nodded.
"Yeah! I'd love that." Logan smiled at him.
"Then it's a date." Patton couldn't have been more elated, the rest of his shift went by in a blur of happiness, and while Remy was half dead on his feet by the end of the day Patton was more hyped than he had been in a long time.
Maybe Remy was right, maybe he had it bad.
Notes:
I'm gonna see if I can update this daily since I already have a couple chapters ahead written, but no promises.
Also Logan is soft for Virgil, so is Remy, everyone is soft for Virgil hes too precious
Chapter 3
Summary:
Logan and Patton go on another date. Logan asks Patton to babysit.
Notes:
This ones a decent length. Also I love this chapter so I hope you guys do too!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Patton was pacing the living room, Remy and Emile had gone on their own date night, so Patton was alone to his anxious thoughts until there was a knock on the door.
When Patton opened it he remembered why he fell in love with Logan the first time around, Logan was holding a bouquet of flowers, smiling at Patton. "Well hello there." Patton finally said, smiling at him, at the thoughtfulness. "Come in." Patton stepped aside and Logan entered the apartment, it was quite a nice two bedroom apartment, with a large open plan kitchen/living room area. Patton and Emile quite enjoyed it. "Let me go get a vase for those." Patton smiled, leading Logan to the kitchen.
He dug a vase out from underneath the sink and filled it with water and sugar, placing the flowers in it and smiling brightly as he sat them on the table. "Thank you so much Logan, they're beautiful."
"Not as beautiful as you, but they're the best I could get." Patton blushed and ducked his face.
"Oh stop it you." He said, finally looking back at Logan despite his red face.
"Shall we?" Logan asked, holding out his elbow. Patton smiled, linking his arm with Logans.
"We shall." He answered, letting Logan lead him out of the building, only letting go so Patton could lock the door, but they immediately linked arms again as Logan led Patton to his car, opening the door for him.
Patton chuckled, he settled into the passenger's seat, buckling his seatbelt as Logan climbed in. "So where are we going?" Patton asked, looking over at Logan as he started his car.
"Well that's for me to know and you to find out." Patton rolled his eyes, but smiled at him anyway.
"Alright then. Keep your secrets." Logan gave him a smile as he began to drive.
They drove for about half an hour, Patton getting more and more curious as they continued, but they just made small conversation until Logan finally stopped the car, they were at the top of a hill, it was now dark and the sky was littered with tons of stars. "And here we are." Logan said, turning the car off, Patton got out with Logan, looking around the area as Logan grabbed something out of his trunk.
Patton watched as Logan put a blanket over the hood of the car, hopping onto it and holding his hand out for Patton, who smiled at him as he took it and settled in next to him. "Star gazing huh? A little cliche don't ya think?" Patton said, crossing his legs as he looked up at the sky.
"Maybe so. However there's a meteor shower tonight, which will make this just that much more beautiful." Patton smiled at the thoughtfulness as he looked over at Logan.
"I love it Logan." Logan smiled back at him, they both leaned back on the hood so they could watch the stars without straining their necks.
Patton tested the waters by scooting closer to Logan, and when he didn't move away he leaned against Logan, who wrapped his arm around Patton.
They spent the evening watching the stars, mostly in silence, watching as the meteors flew by in the sky.
When the air got slightly more chilled Logan ended up putting his jacket over Patton's shoulders, who held onto it and smiled at him.
Patton didn't bother to check the time when they finally climbed back into the car, they drove through mcdonalds and got ice cream and french fries, sitting in the parking lot and laughing as they ate them and talked about their classes, their teachers, and their extremely eccentric friends.
By the time Patton was walking through his doors he was acutely aware of how much he loved Logan, how much he missed Logan these last few years.
He didn't even realize he still had on Logan's jacket until he went to go to bed, and when he did he changed into his pajamas and pulled the jacket over his shoulders again, cuddling up under his blankets, holding the jacket that smelt so much like him close to his chest.
***
Logan was quiet as could be when he walked through the front doors, it was around one am and he knew he had stayed out way later than he meant to with Patton, but he couldn't find it in him to end their date.
He wasn't surprised to see Roman asleep on the couch again, he covered him with a blanket, and then headed to Virgil's room, peaking in at the sleeping boy, confirming that he was asleep before he went to get ready for bed, he realized that he had left his jacket with Patton, but he didn't really care, he thought as he changed into pajamas, he loved the way Patton looked in his jacket.
As Logan settled into bed under his blankets he thought about Patton's smile, the way he laughed, but he couldn't help but think of Patricia, Patton reminded him of her, but he did his best to put that away, he wanted to love Patton for Patton, not because he acted a lot like his ex.
He let out a small sigh, he was never gonna be able to forget her was he?
***
Patton and Logan continued to text daily, and Patton had started to wear Logan's jacket daily.
"You are so fucked." Remy had commented the third day in a row that Patton had worn it.
"Shut up." Patton said, smiling as he did. "It's just comfy."
"Mhm, right, sure." Emile nudged Remy.
"Come on honey leave Patton alone." Patton smiled at the two and pulled the jacket tighter around himself, pulling his phone out to check for a new message from Logan, happy to see he had one.
Patton was wearing said jacket as he ran across campus, cursing his school for giving him two classes in different buildings. He wasn't paying attention until he bumped into Logan, stumbling and falling onto his ass, he tried to catch himself and only succeeded in twisting his wrist and scraping his palms. "Patton! Oh I'm so sorry!" Logan said, kneeling in front of Patton. "Let me see your wrist." Patton held out his hand and hissed through his teeth as Logan touched it.
"Sorry, I should've been paying attention." Patton said, not really caring if he was late for his class now.
"I should've also been paying for attention." Logan said, giving Patton a small smile. "Looks like it just needs some ice, however you might wanna look into a wrist brace." Logan said, pulling his bag off his shoulder and pulling out a first aid kit.
Patton watched Logan pull out a disposable ice pack, prepping it before passing it to Patton who pressed it to his wrist with a wince. "Thank you." Logan gave him a small smile.
"No problem." Logan stood and held out his hand for Patton, who gratefully took it with his non hurt hand and stood. "I've gotta get to class, but I'll text you later."
"I look forward to it." Patton said, watching as Logan walked off, a sweet smile on his face, he stood there for just a moment longer before he finally started heading back towards his next class.
***
Patton didn't have classes on Wednesdays, he was spending his time watching netflix when his phone rang, he frowned slightly when he saw it was Logan calling him, he never called him, they usually just texted.
"Hello?" Patton answered, he heard a relieved sigh from the other end.
"Hey Pat, sorry this is… Really strange but is there any way you could come over and watch Virgil for me? He's sick and my friend who usually babysits is at a rehearsal and I can't miss my classes and-."
"Calm down Logi." Patton smiled, knowing if he let Logan continue he would just continue to get anxious. "Of course I'll watch him, I love kids." Patton was already standing to get dressed. "Text me your address and I'll be right there okay?"
"Thank you so much Patton, I owe you." Patton smiled as they said their goodbyes, quickly getting dressed. He wasn't sure how he was going to feel spending the day with his son, who wasn't aware he was his father, but he was happy to do it.
When he arrived at Logans he knocked lightly on the door.
A clearly stressed Logan opened the door, Patton recognized this easily, his hair was just slightly out of place, his shirt was a bit wrinkled, and his glasses were dirty. To others it wouldn't seem odd but it was quite out of character for Logan. "Thank you so much Patton."
"No need to thank me. Like I said I love kids, I don't mind watching him." Patton put a gentle hand on Logans shoulder. "It's gonna be okay." Logan took a deep breath and fixed his hair slightly as he nodded.
"Right." He said, smiling at Patton. "There's emergency numbers on the fridge, there's soup in there, feel free to help yourself to anything, he's in his bedroom but he'll wanna move around soon, he likes nightmare before christmas, when he's sick he often times will request to just watch it over and over, or he'll want you to read to him." Patton nodded, smiling a little.
"Got it, now go on, get to class, I got this." Logan nodded.
"Thank you, again." Patton gave a small chuckle and nudged him slightly.
"Go, I got this." Logan nodded, glancing off in the direction of Virgil's room one last time before he left.
Patton looked around the home, he didn't want to snoop but he was incredibly curious, so he spent the first few minutes walking around looking at the photos on the walls, most of them were of Logan and Virgil, or just Virgil, but then he came across one, it was on the mantel in the living room, and Patton almost cried when he saw it.
It was him and Logan, with Virgil, tiny baby Virgil in Patton's arms. He gently picked up the photo, staring at it, the only pictures he had left of that time in his life were buried deep in his cloud photos, he didn't have this one though, he quickly wiped his eyes and put it back, he walked over to Virgil's room, giving the door a small knock as he pushed it open. "Hey there kiddo." Virgil smiled at Patton, he looked exhausted, but he was still precious.
"Hi Patty." He said, coughing as he sat up.
"How are you feeling?" Patton asked, sitting on the edge of the boy's bed.
"'M okay." Virgil said, shrugging and then coughing again. "Can we watch nightmare before christmas?" He asked, looking at Patton pleasingly.
"Of course kiddo." Patton patted his leg gently. "Come on, let's grab one of your blankets and we can get comfy on the couch." Virgil nodded and they migrated from Virgil's bedroom to the couch, Patton was shocked when Vrigil cuddled up to his side, but he happily held the boy close, wrapping his arm around his small shoulders as he leaned on Patton's bound chest.
Virgil was clearly dozing in and out during the movie, but Patton didn't comment on it, the boy looked like his body was working at full power to fight whatever sickness he had caught.
After the movie Patton managed to get Virgil to drink some gatorade and eat some soup before the boy insisted on curling up in his bed again. Patton had just finished tucking him back into bed and was about to leave the room when Virgil spoke up. "Will you read the letter to me?" Patton froze, looking over at Virgil.
"What letter sweetie?" He asked, he genuinely had expected the letter he left for Virgil to be long destroyed, or thrown away.
"My mom left a letter when she left." Virgil paused to cough, and then pointed to his nightstand drawer. "Daddy keeps it in there. Will you please read it to me?" Patton smiled softly, pulling open the drawer, he grabbed the letter, admiring how it had clearly seen better days but was almost the same as it had been when he left it.
Patton sat next to Virgil, wrapping his arm around the boy as he started to read the letter, barely having to pay attention to the written words, even after all these years he still remembered every word he had written.
Virgil was asleep by the end of it, Patton put the letter back in the drawer and looked down at his son. He knew he should get up, leave Virgil to rest, but he stayed. He ran his fingers through Virgil's hair and just laid there with him, taking in what could have been, without realizing it he slowly drifted off to sleep.
***
The house was oddly silent when Logan got home, it was around four oclock, and Logan didn't see any sign of Patton or Virgil, until he made it to Virgil's room, he pushed open the door quietly and smiled at the scene.
Virgil was curled up to Pattons chest, tiny arms wrapped around Patton's middle, Patton was asleep, his head resting on top of Virgils, one hand in Virgil's hair the other on his back.
Logan quietly shut the door, he would let them sleep, but that scene left no doubt in his mind that Patton was someone good to have in his life. He went about starting to make dinner, happy to have an excuse to make an extra serving.
It was nearing five when Patton emerged from Virgil's room, running a hand through his curly hair, he startled slightly when he saw Logan. "Oh man what time is it?" Patton asked, pulling his phone out of his pocket to check.
"I'm sorry for not waking you, I should have but you two cuddled up together was just too cute." Patton blushed and hid his head as he slid his phone back into his pocket.
"No it's okay." Patton bit his lip. "I enjoyed spending the day with him, even if he was sick. He's a pretty smart kid." Logan nodded.
"That he is. Everyone always says he got that from me but… I think he got it from his mother, she was one of the smartest people I knew, in her own way of course." Patton smiled, moving to sit at the dining table while he and Logan continued their talk. "Sorry, I don't really talk about her much, and it probably isn't very fun to hear your…" Logan waved his hand, signaling to whatever they were, they hadn't exactly discussed if they were dating or not. "Talk about his ex girlfriend."
"No it's okay." Patton said, he wasn't sure he wanted to hear what Logan thought of him, but he didn't want Logan to think that he would be upset with him for talking to him about it. "I don't mind."
"Thanks Patton." Logan gave him a small smile. "Anyway. I made dinner, I'll go wake Virgil in a moment, I made enough for you as well, that is if you want to stay?" Patton nodded.
"Of course!" Patton said as Logan plated up what he had made.
"I'm gonna go see if Virgil wants to come eat." Logan nodded at Patton as he walked off towards Virgil's room, leaving Patton sitting there wondering what he should do.
Notes:
Just gonna advertise my tumblrs real quick! If any of you draw fanart of any of my fics or even just wanna message me and chat feel free to tag me/message me!
Main blog: frenchfryfriendship
Sanders sides blog: count-woelaf
Chapter 4
Summary:
Logan and Patton finally discuss their relationship.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
"I just don't know what to do Em!" Patton exclaimed as he paced their living room, ever since he had watched Virgil he had felt extremely guilty about not coming clean to Logan, but at the same time he didn't want to, he was scared to lose Logan again if he were to come clean.
"Pat you've gotta calm down." Emile said, adjusting their glasses before standing and putting their hands on Patton's shoulders, effectively stopping his pacing. "Breathe." Patton nodded and followed Emiles breathing for a bit before he spoke again.
"I just can't risk losing him again." Patton mumbled, pressing his face into their shoulder. "Not again."
"I can't tell you what to do here, but here's what I think." Emile pulled away, giving Patton a pointed look. "Keep being you. He clearly likes you for you! Not for who you once were, give him some time and then tell him, he is gonna have to know at some point okay?" Patton nodded. "But that doesn't need to be now, however it should probably be sooner rather than later." Patton sighed.
"Yeah you're right Em, thanks." Patton pulled his friend into a hug, incredibly glad to have them as a roommate.
"Don't sweat it, all in a day's work." Patton rolled his eyes as he pushed them away from him, laughing while he did.
***
"How come I have yet to get to plan one of our dates." Patton asked, chuckling as he and Logan sat on a blanket, they were in a park, enjoying the fall sun with sandwiches and berries.
"I dunno, I guess I just beat you to it." Logan nudged Patton's shoulder with his own. "I'll let you plan the next one."
"Thank you." Patton smiled, he didn't care that much but he was actually quite happy to have control over their next date.
He and Logan had still yet to talk about a few things, one of which being Patton's gender, Logan either hadn't noticed or hadn't asked but Patton knew that they needed to talk about that soon if their relationship was going to continue, plus he needed to know if Logan was transphobic or not, for both this relationship and to find out if his fears from years ago were valid.
The other thing they needed to talk about was what their relationship was, this was now their third date (fourth if you count the dinner Patton spent with Logan after watching the sick Virgil) and they had yet to actually speak about what their relationship really was at this point.
Patton wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not, but he decided against saying anything about it, instead opting to enjoy the date, picking up another strawberry and shoving it into his mouth, staring up at the clouds. Logan's arm made its way around Patton's shoulders and he smiled, leaning onto Logan. They eventually shifted so they were laying on the blanket, Pattons head resting on Logan's chest.
If Patton knew one thing it was that this was perfect, it was where he wanted to be, it was what he had always wanted, him and Logan. He curled closer to Logan's chest, and eventually due to the nice warmth of the sun he dozed off in Logan's arms.
***
Logan looked down at the beautiful man in his arms, he smiled when he realized Patton had fallen asleep and began to gently run his fingers through the boy's curly blonde hair.
The more time he spent with Patton the more he fell for him, there were just so many things he did that Logan constantly fell for, he was nervous to start dating someone but this… It was nice, he really, truly, enjoyed Patton's company, he wasn't sure he would go as far as saying he was in love with Patton but he was getting there, he was definitely attracted to him that was for sure.
They had yet to discuss what exactly their relationship was, Logan made a mental note to maybe have that conversation on their way back to Pattons apartment, but for now the boy was sleeping on him, the sun hitting his hair is such a beautiful way, the freckles on his cheeks standing out against his pale complexion.
Logan just took in his appearance, he couldnt put his finger on it but there was just something so familiar about Patton. He brushed that thought away and instead cuddled closer to said boy, closing his eyes himself and just enjoying his company.
***
After about an hour Logan shook Patton awake, he startled slightly and then gave Logan a small, sleepy, smile. "Sorry." He said, wiping his eyes under his glasses. "I didn't mean to fall asleep on you."
"It's quite alright." Logan said, smiling back at Patton. "You were actually pretty adorable." Patton blushed and hid his face, letting out a small chuckle.
"Stop! You know I'm not good with compliments!"
"Maybe that's why I shower you in them, I get some sense of pride seeing how red your face can get." Logan took Patton's hand and kissed his knuckles before dropping it. "We should get you home, it's starting to get dark." Patton nodded and the two of them cleaned up their picnic, putting everything into Logan's trunk and climbing into the car. They were silent for the first few minutes while Logan drove before he spoke up. "So, I think we should talk about our relationship, more specifically what we're calling it right now."
Patton looked over at Logan a bit worriedly before speaking. "Yeah?"
"Yes I think it would be quite beneficial." Logan glanced over at Patton before going back to the road and continuing. "I for one would love to call you my boyfriend, however if for you this is nothing more than harmless flirting then I'm happy to continue this relationship as that." Patton smiled a bit at that, pulling on the sleeves of Logan's jacket that he had yet to stop wearing.
"I would like that too but before we actually decide to stick with that I… Need to tell you something that may change your mind." Logan parked in front of Patton's apartment building and raised an eyebrow at him, turning to look at him properly.
"I don't think anything could change my mind, but go on." Logan said, adjusting his glasses. Patton looked down at his lap, picking at his jeans for a moment before finally speaking.
"I'm trans." Patton finally blurted out, looking up at Logan. "I was born female so I don't exactly…" Patton waved his hand around instead of finishing his sentence, shrinking in on himself when Logan stayed silent, until Logan grabbed his hands and looked him in the eyes.
"That doesn't change how I think of you one bit Patton." One of Logan's hands moved from Patton's hands to his cheek. "I am absolutely head over heels for you Patton, nothing can change that, I promise." Patton smiled, tears filling his eyes, he was wrong, he had been so wrong all those years ago, but he was so happy he was wrong.
Without thinking about it Patton surged forward, capturing Logan's lips with his own, hands resting on Logan's cheeks as he kissed him passionately. Logan's hand moved from Patton's cheek to resting on his arms, pulling Patton closer to him, well, as close as he could get him with the cars center console in between them.
They pulled away after a moment, staring into each other's eyes with their foreheads pressed together as they caught their breath. "Will you be my boyfriend?" Logan finally asked in a whisper, not wanting to disturb the moment.
"Yes, I will, I'd be happy to."
Notes:
Sorry this is so late, I had a pretty rough therapy session today so I was not in the right mindset to edit this story (or write for that matter bc I came very close to adding some major angst to this story that I intend to keep pretty fluffy)
Chapter 5
Summary:
Patton and Logan drink.
Notes:
CW: This chapter has talks of alcohol and drinking
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Patton was laid across his and Emiles couch, head resting in Remys lap as he ran his fingers through his hair.
"I should tell Logan." Patton said, he and Emile had decided to drink, and while Emile was curled on the floor watching Steven Universe, perfectly occupied, Patton's mind was swirling.
"That is not a decision you should make while drunk, or tipsy, or wherever you are on that scale." Remy said, gently massaging his scalp.
"But I should!" Patton moved to sit up, feeling dizzy from the sudden action, and reached for his phone on the coffee table. Remy was faster than him though, grabbing the phone and holding it over Patton's head.
"No Patton, you don't need to make a big decision like this right now. No matter how much it feels like a good idea right now you'll regret it later." Patton groaned and fell back over, letting his head land in Remys lap again.
"I feel so bad." He groaned, letting out a sigh when Remy returned his hands to his hair. "He doesn't deserve to be lied to, he doesnt deserve me, he deserves better." Patton frowned, staring up at the ceiling. "He's gonna hate me when I tell him, he's gonna immediately throw me out of his life. I left willingly last time but this time…"
"Pat, honey, calm down, breathe." Remy gave him a small smile. "We can talk about this when you aren't inebriated, okay?" Patton groaned.
"Fine." He looked over at Emile, who seemed to be starting to fall asleep, and sat up. "I'm gonna go to bed." Patton ran a hand through his hair, letting the world stop spinning before he stood and stumbled his way to his bedroom.
When he reached his bed he thought about texting Logan again, however when he reached for his phone he realized he had left it with Remy and groaned, flopping face first onto the bed.
He fell asleep not long after.
***
Patton awoke with a headache the next day, groaning as he pulled himself up to go get some pain meds.
When he walked into the living room he chuckled as he saw Emile and Remy curled together on the couch, he ventured into the kitchen to take the meds and then decided he would make pancakes. While mixing batter he heard his phone go off and frowned trying to remember where he had left it the night before, moving to the living room he eventually noticed it resting on the coffee table and grabbed it.
He smiled when he saw he had a text from Logan. "You better not be doing what I think you're doing." Remy commented, making Patton jump.
"Jesus christ don't scare me like that." Patton said, resting a hand on his chest. "What do you think I'm doing?"
"I mean to be fair I don't think sober you would do it but you seemed pretty insistent last night on texting Logan and coming clean about your whole situation." Patton's eyes widened and he quickly unlocked his phone and let out a sigh of relief when he didn't see any messages of the sort. "Chill out pops, I didn't let you." Patton let out a sigh and ran a hand through his hair.
"Sorry, thanks for stopping me." Remy shrugged.
"That's why I'm the designated sober friend, you two make bad decisions when you drink, and also way overshare." Patton chuckled awkwardly and rubbed the back of his neck.
"Yeah…" Remy laughed and pulled Emile closer to him.
"Don't worry, the most you didnt last night was ramble about how much you loved Logan, and then try to text him. You went to bed after that." Patton nodded and gave Remy a sheepish smile.
"Well I'm gonna go finish making pancakes." Patton smiled at Remy. "You should maybe wake your partner sometime soon, Emile has a class in about an hour so." Remy gave Patton a two finger salute and Patton smiled at the two before heading back to the kitchen, internally cringing at what had happened the night before as he started making pancakes.
***
"You should chill Logan." Roman said, watching as Logan paced his living room, Virgil had long since been put to bed, and it was just the two of them, and Roman had casually suggested they drink, he wasn't exactly drunk, but he definitely wasn't sober, it had barely taken much for him to start opening up to Roman about his fears of being in a relationship and how it was going to effect Virgil, but now a couple in he was full on freaking out, all rational thought leaving his body.
"I just. What if she comes back? And I'm dating this new person? Will she try to take Virgil from me?" Logan ran his hands through his hair, messing it up more than it had been before. "What if she wants to get back together? I really like Patton, I really really like Patton so what if she decides to take Virgil because I'm not straight?" Logan was talking with his hands, mouth moving incredibly fast as he went about his motions.
"Logan bud, come sit down." Roman patted the seat next to him and Logan reluctantly complied, sitting down next to Roman, who wrapped an arm around his shoulder. "Everythings gonna be okay. You don't even know that she's ever gonna show her face again, I know you hope that she will but I think after four years it's time to give up that hope Lo." Logan let put a sigh and leaned on Roman, who fell back onto the couch and let the nerd lay on top of him. "The reality is she left, and we don't know why she left but she did, and she hasn't come back or tried to contact you in four years. You need to let it go." Logan let out a sigh and nodded.
"I know…" He let out a small groan and pressed his head more against Roman's chest. "I just wish I could enjoy this relationship without freaking out. I have so many things that I can't account for, things aren't predictable with him, or with being a parent and I just… I wish it was easier." Roman began running his hands through Logan's hair, something he knew calmed him.
"Its okay to not know everything Logan, come on teach, you don't think you can actually predict how people are going to act do you?" Logan shook his head but visibly began to relax as Roman massaged his head. "Its gonna be okay. You don't have to know everything, and you and Pattons story is just beginning, you don't have to make many plot altering choices yet, Pattons just a boyfriend to Virgil, nothing more, and he won't be anything more until you give them the go ahead, its ultimately up to you Logan, you have control of how this affects you and Virgil." Roman looked down at the nerd who was laid on top of him and let out a small sigh seeing that he had fallen asleep.
He fumbled slightly but managed to grab the blanket that rested on the back of the couch and put it over the two of them, laying back himself and drifting off to sleep with a heavy and warm soon to be teacher on his chest.
***
Patton took a deep breath as he parked in front of Logan's place, it was his turn to take control of their date, he was a little scared but he had something nice planned, well he hoped it was nice. He smiled to himself, mostly to try and help his confidence, this was gonna be fine.
He opened his car door and headed up to the door, knocking lightly on it. He heard a bit of shouting and then someone Patton hadn't met before opened the door and Patton panicked for a moment, thinking he had the wrong house when the mystery man spoke.
"You must be Patton." The boy had dusty blonde hair, almost brown, his eyes were a brilliant shade of green and he had a half smirk on his face, but that eased up quickly to him actually smiling. "I'm Roman." He held his hand out to Patton. "I'm one of Logan's friends."
"Roman you better not be chastising my date." Logan said as he walked up behind him, Virgil following close behind.
"This is uncle Roman!" Virgil supplied, rushing forward and hugging Roman's legs, he reached just a bit above Roman's waist. Patton smiled at Virgil, kneeling down to meet his height.
"How're you doing kiddo?" He asked, holding his hand up for a high five which Virgil gladly gave.
"Good! School was fun today, we had a book fair!" Virgil bounced as he spoke, clearly excited about the books he got. While Patton listened to Virgil babble about his books Roman gave Logan a look, a look Logan knew meant that Roman was approving of Patton.
"Well me and your daddy have to go, I've got a big surprise for him. But I promise we can talk more about books some other time okay?" Virgil nodded excitedly as Patton stood back up. Logan kissed the top of Virgil's head.
"Be good for uncle Roman okay?" Virgil nodded again. Patton held his hand out for Logan, who took it and gave him a smile, they both waved at Virgil before heading out to Patton's car, he held open the door for Logan, shutting it behind him before walking over to the driver's side and getting in. "So do I get to know what we're doing?" Logan asked.
The only thing Patton had told him for their date was to dress comfy and casual, so he was happy to see Logan in a pair of jeans and a NASA shirt. "Nope, gonna be a surprise just like yours have been." He chuckled as he started the car. "Don't worry, I think you'll enjoy this. It's gonna be fun, I promise."
Notes:
Yes I know its after midnight, yes I know it's almost three am, fight me heres your chapter you get two technically today (but I dont consider it a new day till I sleep so -_(._.)_-)
Also hi to Jade and Els who realized they were reading my stories tonight love you guys :)
Chapter 6
Summary:
Patton spends the night with Logan and realizes something.
Notes:
This ones kind of long and I think may be one of my favorites so far! Once again sorry for updating so late haha
Chapter Text
Logan couldn't keep his eyes off of Patton, he was wearing a light blue sweater, it brought out his eyes nicely, and a pair of skinny jeans, it was such a simple outfit but for some reason Logan loved it.
He was barely paying attention as they pulled up to a small diner, Patton parked in front and smiled at Logan. "And so we arrive at our first stop of the night." Patton got out of the car and got to Logan's door by the time Logan had unbuckled his seatbelt, opening the door for him and offering his hand to Logan, who chuckled and took it. "Quite the gentlemen."
"Of course, why wouldn't I be?" He said, leading Logan into the restaurant, they took a seat in a corner booth and began talking until their waiter came over, Patton lit up.
"Well hey there sweetie." The lady said, she was slightly older with white hair pulled into a bun. "It's been so long honey! You need to come by and see me more." Patton smiled brightly at her.
"I know Sarah, I've just been busy. This is my boyfriend Logan." Sarah seemed to light up ridiculously at that.
"Well you seem to have found yourself a nice young man. I'm Sarah, nice to meet you Logan. Patton here has been coming to see me since he moved to our town." She looked at Patton fondly. "He's basically been one of my kids since I first met him, he's such a sweetheart." Patton let out a chuckle.
"Well this place is cheap and nice to eat at, especially when you're broke from moving." Patton gave Logan a smile. "Now as much as I love chatting let's order because I have some more time sensitive things planned for the night." Sarah let out a whistle but then let the two of them order, leaving them alone afterwards.
"She was nice." Logan commented, taking a sip of his water.
"Yeah, she's always been there for me, she met me before I began fully transitioning and she's been like a mother to me for a while now." Logan nodded as Patton talked, realizing he didn't know much about Patton's family, or much about Patton's past at all, he thought about asking but really didn't want to push Patton so they instead began talking about Virgil and his new friend Janus.
After having dinner and chatting a little bit more with Sarah, Patton ushered them out of the restaurant, insisting they would be late to whatever else Patton had planned if they didn't leave.
Logan and Patton continued to chat on the drive to their next stop, Patton continually avoided Logan's questions about where they were going until they approached it and Logan noticed. "Oh, a drive in huh?" Patton smiled.
"Yep, dinner and a drive in movie." Patton said, getting them parked. "It's a little cliche but I thought it'd be nice." Patton unbuckled his seat belt and smiled brightly at Logan before reaching into the back seat, pulling out two blankets, giving the galaxy themed one to Logan.
"While you are correct in that it is cliche, I think it's a great date idea. Thank you Patton." Patton leaned over and kissed Logans cheek, effectively turning the man a pretty shade of pink before he actually kissed him.
"I'm glad you like it." Patton said once he pulled away. "Do you wanna get in the backseat so we can cuddle?" Logan smiled at that.
"Absolutely."
The two of them spent the entirety of the movie cuddled together in the backseat, sharing sweet kisses here and there, but all too soon the movie was over and they were climbing back into the front of the car, chuckling as Patton got his foot stuck and Logan basically tumbled into his seat.
They smiled at each other once they stopped laughing, sharing another small kiss before they got buckled and started heading back to Logans home.
Patton parked the car and turned towards Logan, smiling softly at him. "Did you have a good time?" He asked, voice soft, matching the atmosphere of the car.
"I did, I loved every second of it Patton, but you were the part that I loved the most." Patton surged forward and caught Logan in a kiss, his hands cupping his cheeks. They kissed for a while, the kiss changing from sweet to most passionate, until finally they had to pull away to breathe. Patton kept his hands on Logan's cheeks, their foreheads resting together. "Would you like to stay the night Patton?"
Patton thought about it for a moment, he wanted to, but he was a little nervous, he hadn't been around Logan without his binder on, he didn't want that to change things between them and he didn't exactly feel great about his body.
Logan seemed to take note of Patton's inner turmoil and spoke up. "You don't have to baby, and I don't expect anything sexual if that's what you're worried about, I just would like to sleep with you in my arms tonight." Patton smiled at Logan, pressing a soft and slow kiss to his lips.
"Okay, I'd love to stay." Logan kissed Patton once more before the two of them headed inside.
Roman was sitting on the couch and turned when he heard them enter, clearly not expecting to see Patton. "Well hey there teach." He smiled. "You two have a good date?" Logan nodded.
"Yes we did Roman, thank you for watching Virgil." Roman shrugged.
"Never a problem, I love the kid, and if anything were to happen to him I wouldn't hesitate to hurt someone." Roman gave Patton a pointed look, and Patton shrunk in on himself.
"Roman quit threatening my boyfriend and go home, you have rehearsal tomorrow." Roman pouted but complied, giving Logan a hug, and Patton a pointed look, before leaving. "He gets protective." Logan said, leading Patton to his room, he supplied Patton with a shirt and a pair of pajama bottoms he hoped would fit him and left to check Virgil's room. As hoped the boy was sound asleep under his bundle of many blankets, how he slept under that many Logan would never know.
He returned to his room to find Patton sitting cross legged on the bed, he smiled and pressed a kiss to his lips before grabbing his own pajamas. "I'll be back in a moment love." Logan quickly changed before coming back, turning his light off and sliding into bed with Patton, who curled up to his chest easily, he pressed a kiss to Pattons head, who hummed in response. "Good night Patton." He said softly, voice barely above a whisper. "I love you."
Patton had begun to doze off, he barely registered Logan telling him he loved him, nor did he register his response. "I love you too Logi."
***
The next morning Patton woke to the sun shining over his body, he blinked his eyes for a moment before looking up and seeing Logan, he smiled and moved up to press a soft kiss to his lips, causing the brown eyed boy to stir.
Patton moved back and smiled at him as Logan blinked for a moment before looking down at Patton, letting out a small yawn before pressing a kiss to his forehead. "Good morning Pat." Patton leaned up and pressed a kiss to his lips again.
"Good morning Logi." Patton pressed his head back to Logan's chest, they were both content to cuddle on the bed until Patton's stomach growled and they both chuckled at it. "Well I guess that's our queue to get up." Logan nodded in agreement and the two untangled themselves, standing and stretching. "Let's make breakfast, I make some pretty good pancakes."
Logan kissed Patton's cheek. "Pancakes sound amazing, I can make some eggs." Patton nodded and the two of them headed to the kitchen.
Cooking breakfast involved much more kissing than it should have, and way more mess than it should have, somehow Logan ended up with flour in his hair, and Patton had ended up with flour on his cheeks, but neither of them were complaining, they were in the midst of a kiss when they heard Virgil's voice. "Dad?" They pulled back and Logan cleared his throat awkwardly, Patton flushed red and rubbed the back of his neck.
"Morning Virgil." Logan said, walking over to him and ruffling his hair. "Patton is making pancakes for breakfast, are you hungry?" Virgil looked between the two of them, looked at the mess of flour, at how happy his dad looked, at Patton and how he didn't remember his mom that well but he still reminded him of her.
"Is Patton my dad now?" He asked, causing Logan to freeze, that was a question he was dreading, but he didnt expect Virgil to ask it in front of Patton, who had also frozen, his spatula underneath a pancake, he quickly flipped it and busied himself with cleaning to try and hide his panic.
Logan meanwhile was trying to figure out what to say to Vrigil, he didn't want to put Virgil through losing another parental figure, even if he was only one when he lost his mother it was still hard on both of them. But Patton was Patton, and Logan could already envision them being together for a long time, but he knew that's not how things always worked out. "Let's talk about that after breakfast okay Virge?" Virgil nodded, looking down at the ground. "Why don't you go read while we finish breakfast?" Virgil perked up a bit at that and nodded, heading off to his bedroom to gather a book.
Logan walked over to Patton, putting his hands on his waist, cooking breakfast with Patton was so domestic, and Logan could already tell he wanted to do it more often. "Are you okay?" Logan asked, and Patton very much was not okay, but instead he smiled.
"Yeah, it just caught me off guard, I don't exactly know what I should say, or if I should say anything." That was true about many things in the current situation, but Logan didn't know Patton was talking about his true identity.
"It caught me off guard as well, I knew that it may be asked soon but I didn't expect it to be now, and I didn't expect it to be asked in front of you." Patton nodded, and smiled softly as Logan pressed his face into his neck. "You don't have to be anything like that, I don't want you to think I'm gonna make you a parent, I'm gonna tell Virgil just because we're dating doesn't mean you're his father now, if that's okay with you." Patton nodded, not trusting his voice at the moment, grateful that Logan was behind him so he couldn't see the tears building. Patton blinked them away before speaking.
"Yeah, that's okay, and I don't think you're forcing me into a parental role, I knew what I was signing up for when I started dating you." Patton turned around and gave Logan a small kiss. "I love you, and him all the same." Logan smiled and pulled Patton into another kiss.
***
After breakfast they talked with Virgil, the smart kid understood when Logan said that just because he was dating Patton didn't mean that Patton was his dad, but if Virgil wanted to see him that way he could, Virgil smiled and nodded, and stated that he wasn't comfortable with it yet.
They then decided to have a lazy day, spending it cuddled in their pajamas on the couch watching disney movies, they watched nightmare before christmas twice, and finally when it got around dinner time Patton let them know he should probably get home before his roommate thought he was kidnapped, so he shared a goodbye kiss with Logan and gave Virgil a tight hug, his chest stinging slightly as he left.
He knew what he needed to do.
***
When Patton walked through the door of their apartment he saw Emile and Remy curled together on the couch, he wasn't sure what his face looked like but apparently it was bad enough that Remy was immediately up and grabbing Patton's hand, pulling him over to the couch. "Oh gurl, what happened?" He asked, holding Patton's hands while Emile sat on the other side of him, rubbing his back.
It took Patton a moment to realize he was crying, but when he did it just got worse, he let out a sob and pressed his face to Remy's shoulder, who wrapped his arms tightly around him. "Shhh, it's okay sweetie, hun let it out." It took a little bit and at some point Emile had left and returned holding a cup of warm cup of tea, he forced Remy to let go of Patton's hands so he could make him hold it.
Patton finally started to calm, slowly lifting the tea to his lips and sipping at it lightly, letting his throat be warmed before he finally spoke. "I have to tell Logan." He finally said, trying to stop himself from crying more. "Virgil asked if I was his dad now and I just…" Patton choked back a sob and pressed his face to Remy's shoulder. Emile rubbed his back again, gently coaxing him to drink some of the tea, which he did and then took a deep breath. "I can't hide it any longer but I'm scared. I'm really scared."
"Patton honey, Logan loves you, he really does, you have to trust him, I know it's scary, and we can't predict how he's going to react, but you've gotta tell him." Emile gently ran his hand up and down Patton's back as he spoke.
"I know… I know." Patton looked down at his cup of tea and took a sip. "I think… I think I'm gonna go on one more date with him, I wanna savor it if it's gonna be the last…"
"Patton-."
"We don't know how he's going to react Rem, one more date, the next day I'll tell him." Patton took a shaky breath.
He wasn't ready for this, but he had to be.
Chapter 7
Summary:
Patton has a day out with Remy. Logan has a bae day.
Notes:
Hi!
I'm not dead!!!!
Yet
I'll explain more in the end notes for now enjoy the chapter I'm so sorry for it
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Patton was pacing, something he did when he was often nervous, or upset. Remy and Emile were sat on the couch as Patton paced the kitchen.
Remy stood. "Alright girl." He said, walking over to Patton and putting his hands on his shoulders. "You need to chill out babe."
"Sorry, I'm just panicking, I don't know how he's going to react and I'm scared that he's going to take Virgil away from me, I just got him back, I just got Logan back too, I'm scared." Patton ran a hand through his hair, taking a deep breath.
"I get that, but you're just gonna make it worse on yourself doing this. So we're about to have a girls day, or a guys day, whatever, I'm taking you out." Patton sighed.
"Remy I don't think-."
"No, nope, you don't have a choice, go get dressed." Remy shoved Patton into the direction of his bedroom, letting out a sigh and going back to his partner on the couch.
"Ya know you don't have to do that." Emile said, giving Remy a small smile as she took his hand and forced him to come back to cuddling while he waited on Patton.
"I know, but his pacing was driving me crazy, and also he just needs a bit of a distraction, and that's what I'm here for." Remy pressed a kiss to her lips. Patton returned soon after, letting out a small sigh.
"Okay, let's go do this I guess." Remy smiled and stood, grabbing Patton's hand.
"It's gonna be great I promise!" Remy pulled Patton out of the apartment with a wave to Emile. Remy basically shoved Patton into his car, getting settled into the driver's seat.
If there was one thing Patton didn't like about Remy it was his driving, he went over the speed limit, just barely but still enough that it worried Patton, and turned way too sharp, but Patton put up with it until they reached the mall. "So what exactly are we doing here?" Patton asked as he unbuckled himself and stepped out.
"I told you, me and you are having a day out. Now come on I know exactly where we're going." Remy took Patton's hand and dragged him along, finally stopping in front of a store.
"You know my love of stuffed animals but… Build a bear?" Patton looked over at his eccentric friend who simply lowered his glasses and gave him a look.
"Come on, don't act like you don't love this place." Remy smiled as he brought Patton inside. "Pick anything and everything you want, I'm paying for it."
"Rem this isn't necessary-."
"Nope, shut up, you're making yourself a comfort animal and you do not have a say in the matter." Patton sighed and gave in, started to look around at the options, he picked a cute little frog, smiling at it softly, Remy followed behind him as they picked out a scent, Remy helped Patton and they eventually settled on strawberry.
Patton watched the worker fill the animal, he hated to admit that he was feeling slightly better as he went through the motions of the small stuffed heart and then put it inside the frog. Remy was watching him with a knowing smirk as he picked out an outfit, Patton wasn't letting it show too much, but Remy could definitely tell he was feeling slightly better as he picked out a sweater that said "smart cookie", a pair of glasses, and a pair of overalls.
They sat down at the small computer, and Patton went about putting the information in. "You should name him Lilypadton." Remy said, he would never admit he felt extremely proud of himself when Patton smiled and let out a laugh at the name.
Then they checked out with the animal, Patton definitely feeling a lot better as they carried the cardboard house out of the store.
"Now our next stop." Remy smirked, holding Patterns hand and pulling him towards the food court. "We're getting ice cream." Patton let out a small chuckle at that, of course Remy would pull the stereotypical "you're sad let's eat ice cream" move.
They headed to a small rolled ice cream place, Patton wasn't shocked when Remy chose a chocolate mocha ice cream roll, Patton chose cookies n cream and the two of them settled at a table to eat their ice cream. "So what's next?" Patton asked before shoving a bite of ice cream into his mouth.
"I'm thinking a movie." Remy said, smiling at Patton. "A good distraction to what's going on in that little brain of yours." Patton rolled his eyes at that, but agreed with the movie.
***
This was always a rough day for Logan.
Logan was sitting on his bed when there was a knock on the door, he looked up as Roman walked into the room, giving him a soft smile and sitting next to him. "How you doin teach?" Logan shrugged, looking down at his lap. "Come on teach." Roman nudged him lightly. "Let's get some food in you."
Roman had known Logan for the last three years, when they first met Logan spoke with no emotion, he said everything matter-of-factly and barely showed any form of emotions, at least outside of Virgil. The first time Roman saw Logan interact with Virgil he knew that something had caused Logan to be the way he was to others, he had put up walls to stop anyone from hurting him and his son.
Roman broke those walls down, he showed Logan people still cared about him, he showed Logan that he didn't have to be an emotionless robot to keep his son safe. However, even though Roman had managed to keep him from feeling so monochrome in his day to day it still happened every year, the same day.
Roman forced Logan to get out of bed, his movements were stiff and Roman knew it wasn't comfortable but he wasn't going to push Logan too much as he settled him on the couch, watching as he finally slouched over.
Every year Logan made sure Virgil wasn't home, he knew how he got, and he had confided in Roman more than once that he hated how much it affected him.
Roman returned with a sandwich for Logan, which he sat in his lap, sitting next to Logan and pulling up his favorite space documentary. Logan ate in silence, and sat there quietly for a few more moments before speaking. "Do you think she left because of me?"
Roman was a bit taken back by the question, Logan usually didn't talk about her on these days, but here he was, asking Roman a question that he wasn't sure how to answer. "I don't know, but I don't think she would have left because of you." Roman put a hand on Logan's knee. "From what you tell me she was lovely." Logan looked up at Roman, his face was still blank, but there was a look of fondness in his eyes as he began to speak.
"Her smile shined like the sun, the way the early morning light hit her hair gave her the look of a halo, her freckles reminded me of constellations, her eyes were beautiful oceans." Logan looked down at his lap again. "I didn't deserve her." He said it with such authority Roman didn't dare intervene with his thinking. "She was like an angel, and I'm not religious but it really felt like she came from a better place. Only to leave me with a cold bed and a child that reminds me more of her day after day."
"Logan…" Roman wrapped his arms around his friend, pulling him close to his chest as Logan finally showed an emotion for the first time in the three years that Roman had taken care of him on this day. Sadness. Logan cried, he gripped onto Roman's varsity jacket and cried into his shoulder while Roman held him close and rubbed his back. "Shhh, it's okay Logan, let it out."
And he did.
Roman wasn't sure how long Logan cried for, but it was a good while, when he was done Roman sat him back and went to get him a glass of water, returning and giving it to Logan while grabbing the blanket from the back of the couch, wrapping it around Logans shoulders as he sipped at the water.
"Feeling better?" Roman asked as he sat down beside him again, Logan nodded, looking at the tv for a moment, it was idling on the netflix screen, sliding through various shows netflix was advertising.
"I wanna watch her favorite movie." He said quietly, and Roman looked over at Logan for a moment.
"Are you sure?" He asked, voice quiet. Logan nodded, drinking some more of his water before speaking.
"It's winnie the pooh." Logan let out a wet chuckle, tears were one again filling his eyes. "She always said it was childish, but she loved every second of the movie. She used to joke and say I was her Christopher Robin." Roman wrapped his arm around Logan, pulling him close to his side as he grabbed the remote and pulled up disney+. Roman started to movie and just held Logan as they watched it, letting the taller man lean on him and cry periodically.
This was always a rough day for Logan
But this time it was different, he had Roman, just like every time before, but this time, this time he also had Patton in the back of his mind, his curly hair, the way he laughed, his eyes crinkling, the way he smiled fondly at Virgil, almost as if he was his own son.
This time Patton was there, not psychically, but mentally, and even though Logan spent the better part of the day crying, by the end of it he was smiling, and throwing popcorn at Roman as they watched Brooklyn 99.
This was always a rough day for Logan, but this time it was easier.
***
Patton took a shaky breath as he parked his car, he smiled softly at where he was, Logan had texted him an address with a time to meet him there for their date but didn't tell him exactly what was at the address, but of course it was a museum.
Patton got out of the car, looking around until he saw Logan sitting on the steps, he grinned and waved at him, heading over to him. "Museum date huh?" Patton asked, holding a hand out to Logan to help him stand.
"And there's a nice ice cream shop within walking distance." Logan smiled, taking his hand and pulling himself up. "I figured it would be a nice afternoon for us."
"I love it." Patton smiled, pressing a kiss to Logan's cheek. "Well come on, we got some cool history to look at." Logan chuckled and the two of them headed into the building.
They spent almost two hours in the museum, Patton made puns and jokes about just about everything they came across, Logan would just sigh and shake his head at them, Patton was sure that he secretly enjoyed them but wasn't gonna give him the satisfaction of knowing.
They held hands as they walked to the ice cream shop, chatting idly as they did.
Once they got their ice cream they sat down, continuing their conversation about how disney owns basically everything. "Ya know my favorite disney movie has to be winnie the pooh, I know it's kind of childish but I just… It holds a special place in my heart." Patton smiled softly, not giving it a second thought. "Ya know you're kind of like my Christopher Robin!"
Patton continued talking but Logan wasn't paying attention, his mind was spinning. He had never told Patton about that, was it a coincidence, no surely not.
Logan began thinking, Patton had always reminded him of Patricia, they had the same laugh, and they shared the same blonde curls, their eyes were both a brilliant blue and as Logan looked at them at this very moment, as Patton smiled and talked about disney movies, they were the same. No, Logan told himself, it couldn't be. But he couldn't push it away anymore, they were the same, in many ways, it finally clicked in his head as he looked at Patton, interrupting whatever he was saying.
"Your dead name's Patrica isn't it? Your last name's not Picani, it's Morale."
Notes:
Hi there! I'm so sorry that this took so long to come out, I got sick over the weekend, had to wait until monday to see the doctor, and then I've been a fever incoherent mess since then, so while I had about half of this written before I got sick I just was not able to finish it until now bc I was dying.
And I'm prepare to die by the hands of you all for that ending please feel free to kill me.
Also, I'm so sorry for this chapter, I tried to give some fluff bc the next few chapters are gonna be kind of angsty I'm so sorry
Hope yall like angst
Chapter 8
Summary:
Logan and Patton deal with the aftermath.
Chapter Text
Pattons heartbeat picked up, he took a second to process what Logan had said, his eyes wide. "Logan I…" Logan shook his head, looking away for a moment, biting at his lip before turning back to Patton.
"When were you going to tell me?"
"Tomorrow! I swear!" Patton was holding back tears, it wasn't supposed to happen like this, and despite his calm demeanor Patton could feel the anger in his tone.
"Right." He said, looking down at the table for a moment then back at Patton. "Why didn't you tell me? Huh?" Logan asked, trying to keep his voice level, but his anger was rising, not just at Patton but at himself for not noticing sooner. "How long were you just gonna lie to me to get back at me?"
"That's not- Logan that's not why I did it! I didnt know you were who Remy was setting me up with and I panicked and-."
"Patton." Patton froze, staring at Logan, his eyes were filled with tears and it was taking everything in him to not cry at that moment.
"I didn't want to lose you again…" Logan looked at him in shock for a moment, before finally speaking.
" Lose me ? Patton you're the one who left. You left me and Virgil, do you know how much a baby can call out for his mother? The answer is a lot. You didn't lose us, you chose to leave us." Logan stood. "I need to leave. I need to get my thoughts in order before we discuss this further." And with that Logan walked out of the store.
Patton watched him disappear, out the doors and down the street, tears finally strolled down his cheeks, he lowered his head and tried his best not to sob in public.
He put his head in his arms on the table, letting himself cry softly for a bit before he pulled his phone out and called Emile, Remy was in classes but Emile should be home.
"Hey Pat!" They answered happily, which quickly changed when Patton sniffled. "Oh no. Patton where are you?" Patton managed to choke out the name of the place before letting out a small sob. "I'm on my way Patton. Stay there, it's okay, I'll be there in five." Patton nodded even though he knew Emile couldn't see him, and then hung up the call, wrapping his arms around himself and looking over at Logans half eaten ice cream. He pushed his own away from him and laid his head back into his arms until Emile got there.
Emile came straight over to Patton, putting a small hand on his shoulder. "Hey there Pat." They said, smiling softly at him. "Come on let's go home okay?" Patton nodded slowly and stood with them, heading out to Emiles car and getting settled in the seat. He wrapped his arms around himself, trying his best to stop the tears there were streaming down his cheeks but having no luck. "It's alright, we're going home, let's go home and we can talk about this." Patton nodded again and they made their way home, Patton feeling numb as he walked into their apartment, Emile seemed to disappear for a moment once Patton reached the couch but returned with the frog plush Patton had made last weekend, Patton smiled a little at seeing Lilypadton and held him close to his chest as Emile sat next to him.
Emile sent a quick text before sitting their phone on the coffee table and wrapping their arms around Patton, letting the smaller boy lean on him and cry. After a while Patton finally spoke. "He-he found out, I don't know what I said but I said something and he figured it out and… He was so mad Em." Patton pressed his face into the frog. "He said we would discuss it more later and I… I'm terrified to know what that means… Emile what if he tries to keep me from ever seeing Virgil again?"
"Breathe Pat." Patton took a shaky breath at their instruction. "Alright, let's do an exercise, what's the worst thing that Logan could do."
"Tell me he never wants to see me again and tell me I can never see Virgil again." Emile nodded.
"Okay, now, logically thinking, what's the percentage of that actually happening?" Patton thought for a moment, the distraction helping his tears slow down.
"I don't know… 30?"
"See? Pretty low." Emile ran their hand through Patton's curls. "It's going to be okay, just give him some time to think about it, he just found out the guy he's been dating for months is actually his ex and his son's father, he needs some time to process."
Remy walked into the living room, giving Patton a small smile as he walked over and handed him a starbucks cup. "Chamomile tea." He said when Emile gave him a look. Patton took it with a small smile.
"Thanks Remy." Patton said quietly, taking a sip of the tea, letting the cup warm his hands and ground him.
"So what happened?" Remy asked, joining Emile in wrapping an arm around Patton, effectively trapping him.
"Logan accidentally figured out that I'm his ex and is pissed at me."
"Can you blame him?"
"Remington!" Emile snapped, looking at Remy with wide eyes as Patton shrunk in on himself.
"Sorry, I'm just saying, you've kept it from him a long time, I'm sure his reaction would have been different had you told him yourself but with him figuring out himself I think he has a right to be angry." Patton looked down at his lap, Remy wasn't wrong, despite how upset Patton was over Logan's anger, he had a right to be angry about it.
"No he's right Em, Logan has a right to have reacted the way he did, its okay." Patton let out a small sigh. "Lets… Can we stop talking about this? Lets… Let's do something, like play a board game." Remy and Emile agreed and so they spent the evening distracting Patton.
However those distractions weren't there when he went to bed and spent hours staring at the ceiling.
***
Logan wasn't sure how he felt, on the one hand he was incredibly pissed off, on the other he could understand why Patton kept the secret from him.
As Logan walked into his home, fuming, he was glad Virgil had been spending the day with his friend Janus, he took a deep breath, he needed to calm down.
He paced for a bit, thinking over every interaction he and Patton had, there were so many opportunities for Patton to have told him, was everything they had fake? Did Patton actually still love him or did he just use him to see Virgil again?
Logan had pulled his phone out and texted Roman before he had thought too much about it, and it was only minutes later when Roman was walking through his front door and wrapping his arms around Logan, who sunk into the hug. "I gotcha teach." Roman said, bringing Logan over to the couch. "What happened? You said something about Patton?"
Logan leaned onto Roman's side, letting the anger drain out of him and exhaustion take its place from the swing of emotions he'd dealt with. "Patton is…" Logan took a shaky breath. "Patton is Patricia, and he didn't tell me, I found out earlier because he…" Logan held back his tears, taking another shaky breath before continuing. "He called me his Christopher Robin." Roman froze, looking at Logan.
"How are you feeling about it?" He asked, running a hand through Logan's messed up hair.
"I don't know. I initially was mad, but I can kind of understand why he kept it a secret." He let out a sigh. "And on the other hand I'm scared he just used me to see Virgil again, that he doesn't actually care about me anymore." Roman let out a small hum.
"Well, what do you think is most likely here, him being scared of your reaction and still loving you, or using you?" Logan let out a sigh.
"Him being scared. I hate when you're acting more logical than me that's not how our friendship is supposed to work. I'm supposed to be the one keeping you from being stupid." Roman gave a small chuckle.
"Well today I'm helping you. Deal with it." Logan let out a small huff as Roman pulled him closer to him, despite Logan being taller than Roman, Roman definitely had the muscle out of the two of them.
"I'm just… Frustrated overall, I really love him Roman, I do, not just because he's who I used to love, over these months I've grown to love him so much, and I don't want to lose that because of this, but I'm scared that just because now I know he's not gonna want to see me anymore, or that he's gonna think I don't want to see him anymore. Oh god I was so mean to him what did I do." Logan pressed a hand to his forehead as he thought about how he acted towards Patton.
"Logan, chill. I'm sure it's gonna be okay, let's watch a movie or something alright?" Logan nodded, and so Roman pulled up frozen, causing Logan to let out an exasperated sigh, but he didn't deny that he liked the movie.
***
Logan dozed off in the middle of Frozen 2, Roman looked down at him and gave a soft sigh, he had watched his friend grow and become more open since he started this relationship but now it seemed like it was destroying him, he glanced at Logans phone when it started going off and grabbed it, he recognized the name of Janus' mother and answered it for Logan.
"Hello?"
"Oh, uncle Roman, hi!" Roman smiled softly. "Hey kiddo, what's up?"
"I was calling so I could ask dad if I could stay the night." Roman looked down at Logan in his lap, he didn't want to wake him and he looked like he could use the night to himself. "Let me ask for you okay?" Roman lied, waiting a few minutes before talking again. "He says it's okay, have a good time Virge."
"Thanks uncle Roman!" Virgil said excitedly before hanging up the phone. Roman looked down at the phone in his hand, he knew he shouldn't but he decided to anyway.
He found Patton's address, quickly saving it to his own phone before placing Logans back where it was before and going back to watching disney movies while his nerdy companion slept on him. He would pay Patton a visit later.
***
It had been two days, Patton was a bit of a mess, he had gone to school and work and used those as distractions but now he was home without any distractions and he didn't know what to do.
His hair was an unkempt mess, he was still in his pajamas, and he was trying to busy himself with cleaning the kitchen but the kitchen was already clean so it was no use.
He finally decided to make himself some tea and sit down. As soon as he turned the electric kettle on there was a knock at the door, he frowned slightly, Remy never knocked and he was the only person he could think would be coming to the apartment.
When Patton opened the door he came face to face with Roman, well face to chest, Roman was taller than Patton by a good few inches. "Don't take this the wrong way but you look like shit." Roman commented, taking in the dark circles under Patton's eyes.
"Nope, I know I do. Sorry but can I help you? I don't know why you'd be here unless there's an emergency- somethings not wrong with Logan or Virgil right?" Patton asked, suddenly looking very panicked.
"No no!" Roman said, pulling his hands out of his jacket pockets and holding them up. "There's nothing wrong with them, I just wanted to… Talk…" Patton looked at him for a moment before nodding.
"Come on in. Sorry I'm a mess. Uh, do you want tea?" Patton asked, hearing the kettle click off. "I was just making myself some."
"Uh, yeah sure." Roman said, giving Patton a small smile as he stepped into the house.
Patton wasn't sure why Roman wanted to talk to him, and he wasn't sure if it was a good thing or not.
Notes:
Please dont hate me I'm so sorry
These boys are being a little dumb but they'll put their two brain cells together soon enoughAlso if there are any bad typos in the last chapter I realized I dont rememeber if I read through it before I posted it or not haha so I apologize
Chapter 9
Summary:
Roman and Patton have a talk. Logan takes some time to look at the past.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Patton led Roman into the kitchen, making them both a cup of tea before sitting at the table with Roman, mug held between his hands.
Roman looked at Pattons tired eyes, the dark circles under his eyes clearly visible. "Listen I'm gonna be honest here." Roman said, taking a small sip of the hot tea and effectively burning his tongue, but ignoring that to continue on. "I was coming here to yell at you for upsetting Logan, but it's clear to me you're also pretty torn up about it all, which honestly casts any doubts I had about you having wanted to hurt him or not caring about him out the window."
Patton looked down at his tea, silent for a few moments before he finally spoke. "I never wanted to hurt him, it's just… I knew I needed to do it, but I was scared, and then I felt like it was too late to do it." Patton gripped his mug a little tighter, not looking up at Roman. "I was planning to tell him after our date, but he figured it out, and he was so mad and he has a right to be mad, I was an asshole, I should've told him." Patton took a shaky breath and looked up at Roman finally. "Is he okay?"
"He's fine, I mean, not totally fine he's a bit of a mess, but he's going to be okay." Roman let out a sigh. "Patton, you've plagued his life and his mind way more than you might think. When I met him he was this… Emotionless man who shut everyone off, all he wanted was to go about his life and everyone else didn't matter. It took awhile but I managed to break down those walls, he told me about you." Roman looked down at the table where he was tapping his fingers nervously.
"He was devastated when you left, he put up so many walls so he and Virgil wouldn't get hurt. He loved you with all his heart and you left, and it broke him, he spent years thinking it was something he did, something he messed up." Roman looked back up at Patton.
"He still has your letter, Virgils and his. He loves you Patton, he always has. He talked about your beauty, he talked about your laugh and your smile and how sweet and amazing you were, things that have clearly never changed because he easily fell back in love with you, for who you are, not because he thought you were his ex, and not just because you reminded him of her, but because you were you."
Patton nodded softly, finally sipping at his cooked tea. "Thank you for coming Roman…" Patton gave him a soft smile. "I'm sorry that I upset him, he said he would reach out to me when he's ready to talk so I'm giving him that space I promise. I just hope I can fix this, if not our relationship I hope that I can help him not be so upset over it."
"Ya know he was always terrified you'd come back and take Virgil. I think that's why it kind of hit him so hard. It's one of his biggest fears, that you would come back and take Virgil and he would never get to see him or you again." Roman began to drink his tea. "I really think that may be why he's concerned, I just want you to understand that for when you two talk, he's scared, there's a lot of things he's dealt with on his own the last few years, he isn't sure exactly how to deal with you being back yet." Roman finished off his tea, giving Patton a small smile.
"It's gonna be okay, give him time, it's all he needs." Roman let himself out and Patton stayed sitting at the table for a bit, just thinking over the conversation they just had.
***
Logan flipped through the scrapbook in his lap, looking down at the photos of him and Patton, he was staring at a specific one at the current moment, it was their sophomore year of highschool, they were sat on a pair of swings, laughing, Logan remembered fondly his parents taking the photo, they had taken their dog to the park and the two of them tagged along and ended up spending the time with each other more than with his parents and dog.
He flipped the page and looked at another photo, him and Patton curled up together asleep on his childhood home's couch. He smiled fondly at it, putting his fingers over the photo gently. He heard shuffling and turned to see Virgil standing in the hall rubbing his eyes. "Dad?"
"Hey Virgil, come here." Logan put aside the scrapbook and opened his arms. Virgil walked over and crawled into Logan's lap, curling up against his chest.
"What're you doing?" He asked, letting out a small yawn and shuffling closer.
"I'm looking at old photos…" Logan said quietly, pulling Virgil tight against him. "Do you wanna see them? They're of me and your mom." Virgil nodded at that and Logan picked up the scrapbook, he flipped the page to show two more photos, one of them sitting on a park bench with ice cream, the other of them on that same park bench curled up against each other.
Virgil stared at the photo, looking at the blonde person he had never got to meet. "Will you tell me what she was like?" Virgil asked, looking up at Logan. The question caught Logan off guard, Virgil, besides the letter, did not show much of an interest in learning about his mom, she had never been a part of his life growing up and he just seemed to accept that.
"Of course, come on, let's go get comfy in bed and we can talk about it." Virgil nodded. Logan closed the scrapbook, sitting it on the couch before picking Virgil up, carrying him from the living room to his bedroom, getting Virgil settled into bed.
And that night Logan told Virgil all about his mom, about Patton, and the stories from their childhood, until Virgil fell asleep. Logan decided what he was gonna do that night, he already had some semblance of an idea, but now he knew exactly what he was doing.
***
Patton settled down at a table in the cafe he and Remy worked at, he had just gotten off work and he was now waiting for Logan, who said he would meet him there so they could discuss everything that happened. Patton picked at his nails as he watched Remy walking around behind the counter, as he watched the other customers until the bell above the store rang and Patton looked up to see Logan coming in. He took a shaky breath and waved him over.
Logan took a seat across from Patton, he seemed tense, and nervous, and Patton was terrified by what that could mean. "I'm sorry, first of all, for getting so upset with you, I mean I'm pretty upset about the whole thing but I shouldn't have acted the way I did."
"No it's okay, you had a right to be angry with me." Patton said quickly, before looking down at the table. "I kept something really important from you…"
"You leaving Patton… It affected me greatly, Virgil well, it didn't hurt him too badly because he was a baby but Patton… I spent years telling myself it was my fault, trying to figure out what I did wrong to make you wanna leave, hell sometimes I still think about what I could have done differently to keep you from leaving. I was constantly scared that you were gonna come back and take Virgil, that you'd disapprove of how I raised him, or that you'd want him because he's your son but not me because I was why you left." Logan took a shaky breath.
"Patton, I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at myself, I'm mad at myself for not noticing the similarities sooner, I'm mad at myself for not noticing you were unhappy, I'm mad at myself for spending years worrying. But Patton I've always loved you, I will never stop loving you, all these years I never let go of you, not until I met… Well you." Logan let out a small chuckle. "But you turned out to be the person I thought I was finally getting over."
"Logan…" Patton reached across the table and took one of Logan's hands, giving it a small squeeze. "You're not why I left… I left because I was a coward, I realized I was trans and I was so scared that you'd hate me for it, I know you're bi, I know, but I was still scared you wouldn't want to be with someone like me, I was scared of how it would effect Virgil, and my family, if I were to start changing myself, I panicked because I was scared of rejection Logan, I was so scared." Patton squeezed his eyes shut, trying to stop his tears but only helping them roll down his cheeks instead.
"Logan I thought I would lose you if I told you I was trans, I panicked, and the thing my brain kept telling me to do was run, fight or flight, and my brain wanted me out, so I did it, I ran, and I shouldn't have, I regret it so much, I regret it everyday Logan, I never wanted to hurt you. I thought I was protecting you, and myself." Logan squeezed Patton's hand.
"Well there's clearly a lot of misunderstanding here." Patton let out a wet chuckle and wiped his eyes. "But I think we can work through this. No more secrets right?" Patton nodded.
"Yes, no more secrets I promise." Patton smiled at Logan, giving his hand another squeeze.
"I love you, no matter what Patton, you mean the world to me. Nothing you can say or do will change that."
Notes:
I procrastinated this chapter so hard bc I wanted them talking to go well... I dont know if it did or not and I'm already scared to start the last chapter cause I have a very special idea for it and I just aaaaa
Take it just take it before I over think it haha
The last chapter should be tomorrow! I really really hope you guys enjoyed this story!
Chapter 10
Summary:
Happily ever after is closer than you think
Notes:
This chapter took a really long time to come out I'm so sorry. I'll explain more in the end notes!
CW: Brief mention of almost self-harming, beginning with ""Virgil?" Patton asked" and ending with "and let him cry"
A brief mention of attempted sexual assault, starting with "Patton let out a small sigh" and ending with "have their privacy that night"
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
"What does this mean for Virgil?" Patton asked, they had moved from the cafe to Pattons apartment, Remy and Emile were both working so he and Logan were curled together on the couch, they had spoken through a lot of things that afternoon but had tiptoed around the subject for Virgil.
"I think we should let him come around and tell him when he's older, I know he's smart but I just don't know if it would click in his head if we told him that you were once his mom." Patton nodded, rubbing his thumb over Logan's knuckles.
"That sounds like a good idea. As much as I would want him to come around quickly I know he needs to do this on his own time." Logan pressed a kiss to the top of Patton's head.
"He will, we just have to give him time."
***
Virgil and Patton were sitting on Logan's couch, Patton was spending the day with Virgil, and they were currently watching corpse bride, a movie Patton wasn't surprised Virgil liked, but still was a little shocked when he asked for it. Virgil glanced over at Patton and slowly scooted closer to him, Patton took note of it but didn't say anything until the boy was pressed to his side, Patton smiled and wrapped an arm around Virgil's shoulders, letting the boy lean against him as they watched the movie.
***
"Careful, you've gotta level the scoop out before you pour it in." Patton instructed as Virgil scooped out a measuring cup of flour, they were making cookies at Patton's place, Virgil nodded as he furrowed his brows and gently swiped the mound off the top of the scoop. "Good job!" Patton smiled. "You can pour it in the bowl now."
Virgil dumped the flour into the bowl and looked up at Patton. "How many more?"
"Two more scoops and then we move onto the wet ingredients!" Virgil nodded, a determined look on his face as he continued to scoop and level the flour. Virgil gave Patton a victorious smile.
"Can I crack the eggs?" Virgil asked, watching as Patton sat aside the dry ingredient mixture.
"Of course kiddo! Just gotta make sure we don't get any shell in them."
***
"Both of you are lucky I love you." Logan commented, taking a sip of his coffee as he watched the two pouring glitter into a bowl.
"But dad it's fun!" Virgil said, smiling as he got his hands covered in the gooey mess that was soon to become slime.
"Yes but glitter is the bane of my existence and Patton brought it into this house so every time I find glitter somewhere it's not supposed to be I will be silently cursing you for bringing it here." Logan said, giving Patton a pointed look as he helped pour the contact lense liquid into the bowl for Virgil.
"Aw come on Lo, glitter isn't that bad! I promise I'll make sure almost every piece of glitter is cleaned up before I leave." Patton put his hand on his chest. "I swear it."
"You better."
***
Logan was sitting on his bed, a book in his hands, Virgil had been put to bed about an hour ago and Logan had decided to spend the evening reading for a while before going to bed.
He was halfway through a chapter when he heard a door creak open, he turned his head to see Virgil walking down the hallway and towards his bedroom, and when he reached the door Logan saw the tears on his cheeks and quickly bookmarked his page and sat down his book, walking over to his son and opening his arms for him.
Virgil wrapped himself in his father's arms, pressing his face into Logan's shoulder as the older picked him up and carried him to the bed, sitting down and rubbing his back as he sniffled and tried his best to stop crying.
It was a few minutes before Virgil finally calmed. The newly six year old pulled away from Logan's shoulder and looked at his dad, sniffling. "What's wrong Virge?" Logan asked, brushing Virgil's hair out of his face.
"Daddy…" Virgil trailed off, looking down. "I… I wanna call Patton my dad." Logan slowly nodded.
"Okay sweetie, I think he would like that. Why are you upset about it?" Logan ran his hand over Virgil's back, trying to help keep him calm.
"I don't want mom to think I replaced her." He said quickly. "I'm not! But what if she thinks I am?" Logan shook his head, pulling Virgil close to his chest.
"I promise you, she won't think that way, she'd be really happy you found someone you trust enough to call dad, okay? But you have no rush to consider Patton a parent okay? He may be my boyfriend but that doesn't mean you have to see him as your dad if you don't want to."
"But I do want to." Virgil pressed his face to Logan's shoulder again. "I want to, so bad…" Logan nodded, pressing a kiss to Virgil's head.
"Then you can, I promise, your mom won't be upset, you can consider him a dad, he would be really happy if you did." Virgil nodded, snuggling closer to Logan.
"Can I sleep with you tonight?" He asked, voice quiet.
"Of course, let's get cuddled up and head to bed, it's getting late." Logan turned his lamp off and slipped his glasses off, resting them on his night stand and laying down with Virgil, pulling him close to his chest. "I love you Virgil."
"I love you too dad."
***
"You two are basically the same person." Logan commented, watching Patton and Virgil try their best to not let their ice cream drip over their hands, the both of them had made messes of their faces and Logan wasn't sure if it was adorable or annoying that his boyfriend was acting identical to their six year old.
"And you love both of us." Patton said, smiling at Logan as he grabbed a napkin to try and clean his face. "Don't deny it."
"Sometimes I'm not sure why I do." Logan said, shaking his head.
***
Logan smiled as he watched Patton and Virgil, he had elected to not swim but Virgil and Patton were currently splashing each other and laughing as they did.
Everyday Logan watched the two of them become closer, he watched the similarities between the two of them grow more and more prevalent, he let out a small chuckle as Patton picked up Virgil and threw him, Virgil smiling the whole time. "Hey you two! Sunscreen." He called, smiling as they both groaned and reluctantly got out to reapply sunscreen.
"You're far too strict about sunscreen." Roman commented, sitting a plate of sandwiches on the table. "But you two would've had to get out to eat anyway so you can't complain too much." Virgil pouted.
"But I don't have to eat! I wanna go back to swimming." Patton smiled and placed a hand on Virgil's shoulder.
"Trust me I do too but eating is important, we can keep swimming after okay?" Patton said, grabbing a towel and drying off his hair. Virgil pouted but agreed and the four of them sat down to eat.
***
"Come on come on come on!" Virgil cried, pulling on Patton's hand.
"Virgil I know you're excited but please refrain from ripping off my boyfriend's arm." Logan said, chuckling at his son.
The three of them were going to the state fair and Virgil was beyond excited. "But we need to go! I wanna ride all the rides and try cool fried food!"
"And we'll get to do that. I promise it won't kill you to wait for just a few minutes." Logan ruffled Virgil's hair as Patton pulled his shoes on.
"I just have to get my shoes alright kiddo? I promise we aren't gonna miss anything."
"We better not!"
***
Patton settled Virgil into his bed, the boy had fallen asleep while they watched a movie, so Patton had picked him up, doing his best to keep him asleep, but as he laid him down Virgil blinked his eyes opened and smiled at Patton. "Get some sleep kiddo." He said softly, pressing a kiss to his forehead.
"Stay with me?" Virgil asked softly, yawning.
"Yeah I can." Patton said, scooting into the bed next to Virgil and wrapping his arms around him. Virgil snuggled close to Pattons chest, closing his eyes and yawning again.
"Night pops." He said softly, drifting off the sleep.
Patton froze, staring down at the boy in his arms. Pops, he had called him pops.
Patton held back his tears, pressing a kiss to the top of Virgil's head and just staying wrapped up with him.
Logan found Patton asleep with Virgil when he got home, when he gently shook Patton awake so he could come get comfortable in the bigger bed Patton blinked at him with tears in his eyes. "He called me pops." Logan smiled, kissing Patton softly.
"I'm so happy for you Pat." Patton smiled, pulling Logan in for another kiss.
"I'm so happy Lo. He considers me a dad, he considers me his dad now I just…" Logan kissed Patton's forehead.
"Come on, let's go cuddle." Patton nodded, wiping his eyes as the two left Virgil's room to curl up in bed together.
***
Patton smiled as he watched Virgil run around the yard with his friend Janus. Virgil was wearing a party hat and his favorite black checkered jacket as they ran in circles, Logan was inside with Roman, Remy, and Emile, getting Virgil's cake and decorations set up.
They hadn't told Virgil they were doing anything more than cake but secretly they had gotten quite a large amount of nightmare before Christmas party decorations for the boy, as well as purple decorations. Patton agreed to sit out decorating to watch the two seven year olds and make sure they didn't get hurt.
"Virgil! Janus!" Logan called out of the door, causing Patton to jump as he hadn't heard Logan come out. "Sorry love." He said, chuckling as Patton shook his head.
"You're the worst." He said as the two kids ran up to them.
"I know." Logan smiled as he looked back at the kids. "Come on we're gonna do cake now." The boys cheered and Patton smiled as they headed inside.
As soon as they reached the dining room everyone shouted "Surprise!". The room was covered in decorations, and Patton smiled at the excited look on Virgil's face as he saw them. Once he got over his shock Virgil threw himself at Logan, wrapping him in a hug.
"Thank you so much dad!" He bounced up and down, smiling wide as he grabbed Janus' hand and they explored the decorations, Virgil happily blabbering on about the nightmare before Christmas until Logan called them back over so they could do cake.
***
Patton laughed as Logan attempted his shot at mini golf again, Virgil was standing beside him, also laughing at his dad. "This should be so much easier! How can my seven year old get a hole in one and I'm on my… Sixth shot?" Patton nodded and Logan let out a groan.
"It's easy dad come on!" Virgil said, covering his mouth as he laughed.
"You two are going to be the death of me." Logan said, face dead serious as he took another swing and finally got the ball into the hole. "Finally!"
Virgil and Patton just laughed at him.
***
Patton smiled as he packed Virgil's lunch, Logan was making sure Virgil had everything he would need for his first day.
Virgil came out of his room, yawning as he made his way to the kitchen to get something to eat. "Do I really have to go to school today?" He asked, fixing himself a bowl of cereal as Patton finished up his lunch, snapping the Tupperware shut.
"Yes you do." Logan said, dropping the backpack by the door. "But you're a smart kid Virgil, I have no doubt that you'll do fine."
"It's not so much the work as it is… People." Virgil said, putting a spoonful in his mouth before speaking again. "I don't like crowds."
"Don't talk with your mouth full." Patton supplied, before handing Logan the lunch box. "Just remember to breathe and you'll be okay, I know it seems scary but it's gonna be fine." Virgil nodded.
He finished off his bowl of cereal before grabbing his bag and lunch box, heading off to the bus stop. Logan let out a small sigh and walked over to Patton, pressing a kiss to his head. "And now it's back to school for us too." Patton groaned.
"Ugh don't remind me. Classes dont start back till next week but I'm still dreading it." He said, pressing a kiss to Logan's lips.
"Hey you don't have too much longer till grad school, and then not much longer after that till you'll officially be a licensed therapist."
"And you only have this school year before you're qualified to be a teacher." Patton reminded him, smiling.
"One step at a time?"
"One step at a time."
***
Patton was sitting on his and Emiles couch, everyone was in class so he was spending his alone time rewatching Steven universe when his phone rang. He frowned when he saw it was Logan, he should've been in the middle of class.
"Hello?"
"Patton." Logan's voice sounded worried, causing Patton to perk up.
"Hey what's going on? Is everything okay?" He asked, already preparing himself to leave if he needed to.
"Virgil had a really bad panic attack at school, can you pick him up for me? I still have a few classes for the day." Logan said hurriedly.
"Yeah of course, of course I can baby. He's gonna be okay, I'll go get him."
"Thank you so much." Logan said, taking a deep breath. "I'll be home as soon as my classes are over."
"It's alright, I got him, don't worry about it. I love you, I'll see you later."
"I love you too." Logan said before ending the call. Patton headed out of the apartment, hopping in his car and driving to the school. When he made it there he found his way to the office where Virgil was sitting in one of the chairs, knees pulled to his chest and jacket wrapped around him.
Patton spent a few moments talking to the secretary before he walked over to Virgil, kneeling in front of him. "Hey kiddo." He said softly. Virgil slowly looked up at Patton, his face was red from crying, eyes puffy. "Let's go home okay? We can get ice cream and watch a movie, how does that sound?" Virgil nodded, slowly un-balling himself and grabbing his bag.
Patton kept a gentle hand on his back as they walked out of the school and to his car. Once Patton got Virgil in the backseat Virgil began to cry again. "Hey it's okay, it's okay sweetie." Patton said, kneeling outside the door, gently rubbing Virgil's back.
"I don't- I don't wanna be in school." Patton frowned slightly at that, he didn't technically have any authority over Virgil but he had a few ideas on how they could help Virgil with his school anxiety.
"Let's get home and I'll talk to your dad about some stuff we can maybe do to help you with this okay?" Virgil shakily nodded.
"Thank you pops…" Virgil said softly, looking down at his lap.
"No problem kiddo." Patton patted his leg before shutting the door and getting into the driver's seat. "Now let's get that ice cream."
***
Logan was nervous, and Patton couldn't figure out why, they were just going on a date, nothing special.
Patton watched as the scenery flew by, they were halfway there when Patton realized where they were going. "We're going stargazing aren't we?" He asked, looking away from the window at his boyfriend who let out a small chuckle.
"Yes we are. I was wondering how long it would take you to realize where we were going." Patton smiled and bounced in his seat excitedly.
"I really loved stargazing with you, why haven't we done it more?" Logan smiled.
"I'm not sure. But I will agree stargazing with you is nice." Patton settled down in his seat and went back to watching the sunset outside of his window.
They made it to the same hill from two years ago, and as they got out Logan retrieved the blanket from his trunk, putting it over the hood of the car. The two of them cuddled up under the stars, the light from the moon illuminating them as they watched the stars.
They stayed like that for a while, Logan telling Patton about the different constellations that were above them. Finally after a few hours Logan got off the hood, Patton followed, looking down at the ground and adjusting his shirt before he looked up, backing up slightly and putting his hand over his mouth as he looked at Logan on one knee in front of him.
"Patton, I have loved you since we were teenagers, you've been the person I want to spend my whole life with for years, and I know we've had ups and downs, I know we spent five years apart, but I know for a fact I want you in my life forever, I want to wake up everyday next to you, I want to spend my life with you Patton, every second of it. I want to raise Virgil with you, I want to spend sleepless nights together laughing and cuddling, I want to go through Virgil's awkward teen years with you. I want to be close to you everyday Patton."
"You mean everything to me and I don't know what I would do without you in my life Patton, you're my universe, the stars in my sky. You light up my life with your smile everyday. You bring so much joy into my life Patton. When we first met as kids I never would've guessed this is where we ended up together. But then we hit highschool, and my feelings for you only grew. When we finally got together I was so happy, and I'm still so happy that we spent those years together. That we had Virgil. I'm so happy that you said yes to me. I'm hoping you'll say yes to me again, so. Patton, will you marry me?"
Patton was crying by the time Logan finished, and instead of answering he threw himself to his knees, wrapping his arms around Logan and sobbing into his shoulder. "Yes." He finally choked out, letting out a loud sob. "Yes! I'll marry you Logan!"
***
Patton curled closer to Logan's side on the couch, Virgil was sat on the floor in front of them, drawing in his new sketchbook as corpse bride played on the tv. Logan gently rubbed Patton's shoulder, who let out a small sigh. "I should get going. I have an early class tomorrow." Logan frowned slightly and held Patton's hand.
"Hey Pat? Who dont you move in?" Patton froze at that, he hasn't thought much about it but it was the next logical step in their relationship.
"I mean I still need to go home for the night… And I would need to help find Emile a new roommate but… Yeah… Yeah I'd love to move in." Logan smiled and pulled Patton into a kiss.
"Okay baby. I love you." Patton smiled, kissing Logan's nose.
"I love you too." He stood, ruffling Virgil's hair. "Bye kiddo. I'll see you guys tomorrow."
"Bye pops!"
***
"Your dad is gonna kill us." Patton commented as he ran the purple dye through Virgil's hair.
The nine year old let out a laugh. "Yeah but my hair is gonna look awesome!"
"Stay still kiddo." Patton smiled. He wasn't sure how he ended up agreeing to it but here they were, Logan at some board meeting and Patton dying Virgil's hair as bright a purple they could get without bleaching it. "Alright. Now it stays on for forty five minutes. Let's go watch some tv." Virgil nodded and Patton disposed of his gloves before following the happy kid to the living room.
Logan wasn't exactly happy when he returned home to find a purple haired nine year old, but he seemed to relax when he saw how happy Virgil was with his bright hair.
***
"Hey Virgil?" Virgil looked up from his desk where he had been working on homework, frowning slightly at the serious look on his pops' face, Patton was never this serious unless something was wrong.
"Yeah pops?" He asked, sitting down his pencil warily.
"When you get a chance, come into the living room, me and your dad need to talk to you about something. Nothing to panic about, but it is kind of important." Virgil nodded and watched his pops walk away, he turned back to his paper, finishing the last two questions, his mind reeling about what they could want to talk to him about before he sat down his pencil, taking a deep breath.
He looked over at his bed and considered it for a second before he grabbed his weighted blanket, wrapping it around his shoulders for comfort as he headed into the living room. He sat down on the floor in front of the couch, facing his parents. "What's going on?" He asked, watching as they took each other's hands.
"We just have something we need to tell you about, with you turning ten in a few days we figured now was a good time." Virgil nervously glanced between his two fathers.
"Okay?" He asked, shifting a bit awkwardly and pulling his blanket closer.
"Your mom left when you were one Virgil. You know this already. But what you don't know is why she left." Virgil watched his pops look down at his lap, shifting.
"I thought you didn't know either?" Virgil asked, frowning slightly.
"I didn't, until a few years ago. Virgil your mom… Well she's not your mom. Your mom left because he realized he was trans, and he was scared of how it would affect you." Virgil looked at Logan, eyes wide.
"Wait, so you found him?" He asked, looking between his dad and his pops.
"I found him a long time ago Virgil." Virgil watched his dad squeeze his pops hand, who finally looked up at him with tears in his eyes.
"Virgil, I'm biologically your dad. I'm the one who left nine years ago." Virgil froze, tears slowly filling his eyes.
"Wait so you… You're… How long have you known?" Virgil reached up and wiped his eyes, he had always wondered about his mom- dad he reminded himself, but he always stayed quiet about it, he didn't want to upset his dad, but on more than one occasion he snuck out of his room in the middle of the night to flip through his dads scrapbook.
"For a while. We had a big fight about it when your dad found out, but we made up, and decided we would wait to tell you until you were a little older." Patton said. Virgil just sat there for a bit before he finally threw himself into Patton's arms, squeezing him tightly.
"I love you. I love you so much." He let out a shaky sob, holding onto Patton tightly. He never thought he would get to meet the person who made him, but here he was, he had been part of his life for the last five years and he had no idea.
"I love you too kiddo." Patton said, rubbing his back. Logan smiled at the two, giving Pattons shoulder a small pat.
He knew this would go well, despite Patton's worries.
***
Patton smiled at Logan, barely paying any attention to what Remy was saying, they had gotten him to officiate their wedding instead of some stranger. It was weird to see him in a suit instead of his normal leather jacket, but Patton was paying more attention to the man in front of him.
"Patton, your vows?" He asked, clearly shocking Patton back into the present, he let out a small awkward chuckle.
"I should've written this down but I figured I'd instead try to wing it which now that it's time I'm realizing was a bad idea." Patton smiled at Logan, who gave him a loving smile back with a small eye roll. "But I know the gist of what I want to say. Logan you've been a part of my life for almost all of it. Since we met as kids I knew you would be a part of my life forever. Now granted I didn't know our lives would take as many turns and curves as they did. I didn't expect to start dating you at sixteen, or to get pregnant at eighteen. I definitely didn't expect to have an identity crisis and runaway for four years, only for Remy here to accidentally set us up for a blind date." Remy let out an awkward laugh at that, rubbing his neck.
"Which I don't blame you for by the way." Patton added, looking at Remy who gave him a thumbs up. "No matter what, you have always been a part of my life in one way or another, and while I know personally I don't intend to leave any time soon, this marriage is essentially making it official for us. I love you so much Logan, and I cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with you."
Logan couldn't hold back his tears, trying his best not to sob as he wiped his eyes.
"Logan?" Remy asked, his voice cracking slightly, revealing that he had clearly been crying under his glasses.
Logan wiped his eyes, letting go of Patton's hands to pull his cards out of his jacket. He cleared his throat. "I can't top that… In any way honestly, but I guess I can try. When we first met I never would have guessed this is where we would end up after all these years, I mean granted we were only four." Logan let out a small chuckle before continuing.
"When we were thirteen I started to grow feelings for you, I was terrified to ruin our friendship with them so I waited until we were sixteen, when I finally decided to ask you out. You said yes and I dont think I've ever been happier. We've had ups and downs, our hills and valleys. Having Virgil was unexpected but an amazing thing to come out of our relationship. I always knew that you would be a big part of my life forever, one way or another. This is the best one though, marrying you, surrounded by our friends. This is the best way I could have imagined keeping you in my life, and I swear to you that I'm not going anywhere, not for a long time."
Patton let out a wet chuckle, reaching up and wiping his eyes, trying to stop the tears from flowing but having no luck. "I love you." He said quietly, Logan smiled at him, reaching up to wipe his eyes as well.
"I love you too."
***
Patton sighed as he climbed the stairs of their new home to Virgil's bedroom, he wondered what he and Janus could be doing that kept them from hearing him calling them for dinner.
As he approached he could hear the tv playing loudly and let out a sigh, teenagers. He pushed open the door. "Guys how many times do I have to- Oh." Patton watched Virgil and Janus throw themselves apart from each other.
"Pops!" Patton just shook his head.
"Nope. I'm gonna pretend I saw nothing. You're gonna turn the tv down and come down for dinner, and the bedroom door is gonna stay open from now on." Virgil quickly nodded. "Glad to know we're in agreement. And Janus?" Patton watched the thirteen year old shift awkwardly.
"Yes sir?" He asked.
"Welcome to the family."
***
"Virgil?" Patton asked, knocking on the teenagers door. "Can I come in kiddo?" Patton frowned when he got no response. Virgil had a rough day at school and he just wanted to check on him, but maybe he was asleep.
Patton pushed open the door anyway, just to check on him and froze when he saw Virgil, headphones on, tears streaming down his cheeks as he tried to break open a pencil sharpener. Patton took a shaky breath and walked over, gently placing his hand over Virgils, causing the teen to jump and look up at his dad. "P-pops?" Patton shook his head, taking the item from Virgil's hands and sitting it on his desk before kneeling in front of his son, pulling the boy's headphones off.
"That's not the answer Virgil. No matter how much you think it may be, it's not, and it never will be okay?" Virgil nodded, throwing himself into Patton's arms. Patton held him, rubbing his back, making a mental note to talk to Virgil about therapy, but for now he held him in his arms and let him cry.
***
Patton let out a small sigh as he walked into the school office, when he saw Virgil and Janus sitting across the room from each other, both staring at their phones, clearly texting each other he shook his head, walking up to secretary, speaking to her for a moment before sitting himself next to Virgil. "So before we go into that room." Patton said, voice soft. "Want to tell me what happened?"
Virgil typed something quickly on his phone, before pocketing it and looking up at his dad. Patton did his best to hide the flinch at the black eye quickly forming on Virgil's face. "It was self defense." He said, crossing his arms. "Me and Janus did nothing wrong. We were just cuddling outside during lunch when Jason found us and started spouting homophobic bullshit-."
"Language."
"And then when we just ignored him he grabbed Janus and shoved him against the wall so I pulled him off and he punched me in the face."
"So you retaliated by fighting back?" Patton asked, giving his son a pointed look. When Virgil looked down at his lap Patton knew there was more to the story. "Come on Virgil, that's not all that happened is it?"
"No one is gonna believe me, Jason is the good perfect kid. I'm just a little gay nobody." Patton shook his head, looking up as Janus' parents came into the office and his mother rushed over to him.
"I will believe you, Virgil. What happened?"
"When he punched me he knocked me to the ground and he… He turned back to Janus and he… He started to…" Virgil trailed off, gripping the sleeves of his hoodie tightly before speaking. "He tried to take off Janus' pants. So I grabbed him and decked him, I tossed him to the ground and I let my anger get the best of me and I beat the shit out of him. Because my boyfriend was crying and I didnt know what else to do to protect him." Patton nodded, putting a hand on Virgil's knee and giving it a squeeze as he looked over to Janus, who had started to cry and was holding onto his mother's hands tightly.
"Well even if the principal doesn't believe you I do, and it seems like Janus' parents do as well. We'll do what we can okay?" Virgil nodded, gripping his sleeves tighter as another set of parents burst into the office, the father heading over to the other boy in the office who was clearly fake crying, he was holding a tissue to his nose and had a black eye and busted lip, clearly having gotten the worst of it all, but Patton silently wasn't blaming his son for acting the way he did.
They fought with the principal and Jason's parents for an hour, but eventually Jason was suspended and Virgil was left with detention, while Janus got away free since he didn't exactly do anything.
Patton took Virgil home and Janus came over later that night, Patton and Logan granted them permission to close the door and have their privacy that night.
***
Patton smiled as Janus and Virgil climbed into the backseat, laughing as they buckled into their seats.
Patton stayed quiet until they dropped off Janus, Virgil walking Janus to the door, giving him a small kiss before coming back to the car and climbing into the passenger's seat, leaning on his hand and looking out the window. Patton let out a small chuckle as he began to back out of Janus' driveway. "I take it you two had a good date huh?" Patton asked, giving Virgil a smile as the fourteen year old nodded.
"Yeah. I… I really love him pops." Patton smiled brightly at that.
"I think anyone who sees you with him can tell that kiddo." Patton let out a small chuckle. "You two are good together." Virgil nodded, pulling his phone out and quickly typing something out before putting it in between his legs.
"I just… It feels like he makes my life better, it feels like him being in it just makes it so much better." Patton glanced over at him as he pulled into their driveway.
"And that's how I felt with your dad Virge, it feels like he's the best thing to have ever happened to you. I can see it when you look at him, you're not very subtle. But it's good to feel that way. I hope that feeling never goes away for you two." Virgil smiled and nodded, leaning over to hug Patton.
"Thank you pops." He said, pulling away and smiling. "Welp I have some very important business to attend to." He said, hopping out of the car.
"Don't stay up too late!" Patton called to the teen as he rushed inside and up the stairs to his bedroom.
***
"Do you think you and dad just got lucky or do you think first relationships can last?" Virgil asked, laying on the floor in front of the couch while Patton was sitting on it, working on some paperwork and research.
"If this is about you and Janus, don't think about it too much, let your relationship flow naturally." He said, scribbling something on one of his papers.
"Yeah but I'm just… Wondering. Because I really love him and I want to be with him forever but I'm scared that it may fall apart like they say most first loves do." Patton sighed and sat down his pencil, adjusting his glasses and looking down at his son.
"If you want to be with him for the rest of your life then hold on to that feeling, don't worry about what could happen in the future, focus on the now, focus on the fact you two are still going on dates bi-weekly and spending tons of time together, focus on the here and now, you two are happy and together now. If you think too hard about it you're gonna start to panic over things that are either impossible or too far into the future for you to worry about." Virgil nodded, sitting up and looking at Patton.
"Thanks pops." He said, moving to hug his dad tightly.
"No problem kiddo. Now why don't you go work on homework and decide what we're doing for dinner."
***
"Wait so that's how you two got together, and back together?" Virgil asked, sitting back on his hands, staring at the two adults on the couch in front of him. "All of that could have been avoided if you two just fucking talked!"
Patton laughed as he corrected Virgil. "Language kiddo." Virgil shook his head.
"There was so much miscommunication! Pops it would've been so much easier had you just talked to him in the beginning! I swear there's one collective brain cell between you two and neither of you used it." Virgil shook his head as his parents laughed at him.
"Well Virgil you are the one who asked to hear the story, you can't complain too much." Logan said, adjusting his glasses.
"Yes I can because you two could have just talked ! That would've made both your lives so much easier. You two are truly useless gays." Patton chuckled.
"You're not wrong there kiddo. Now don't you have homework?" Virgil groaned and flopped back on the floor. "If you don't do your homework you know you don't get to see Janus tomorrow." Virgil let out another groan.
"Yeah okay I'm going I'm going." The sixteen year old said, pushing himself up and heading up the stairs.
"You know he's not wrong." Logan said, pressing a kiss to Pattons forehead. "Things would've been much easier had we both communicated with each other properly."
"I know I know, but we fixed it in the end. And we definitely got our happily ever after, don't you think so?" Logan smiled as he leaned forward and kissed Patton softly.
"Absolutely."
Notes:
Wow... Yet another story's end
So a little backstory, this story came to me in the middle of a bath, and I proceeded to write the first two chapters in the span of like forty five minutes.
I said I wasnt gonna post this until I finished and then got excited and decided to post it anyway. This chapter took me so long because, well first of all its 6,201 words, and second of all I had such a specific idea for it in my head that I rewrote a couple things a few times, but I'm happy with it so I hope you all enjoyed it.
This story was really fun to write! It was a nice break from the angst i usually write and i will definitely try to take a break from the angst now and again because this was a really nice refresher.
I hope to continue my current stories as well as finish a few more stories I've started soon but right now my mental state is kind of bleh, but dont worry i promise I'm talking with my doctors and working on it!!!
I have to extend a thank you to creamiiteaa_xx and MelodiRead for their comments on every chapter!!! Melodi I loved all of your alternative titles and your little descriptions they made my day, and Cream? You're the fucking light of my life, you're so enthusiastic about my stories and I wait for your comments every time I upload because you make me incredibly happy, thank you so so much for the comments you leave for me you're my number one hype man and I live for it
Also a big thanks to my favorite person in the world THOTIMUS_PRIME_2000 who read a bunch of this as I wrote it and made plenty fun of my typos while I did, and helped me when I was very indecisive about things.
Thank you all so much for reading this story, I really hope you all enjoyed it!!!
I'll see you all in the next one!

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