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The night of his almost marriage to Stalyan - second almost marriage to Stalyan even - Eugene slept with Rapunzel alone in one side of the caravan, the others giving them a wide berth after today's events. He was grateful for that, and she was too, because they… They had needed this. Even now, as the moon was shining through a tiny interstice in the ceiling, his skin was still tingling uncomfortably where Stalyan had touched him. On his shoulder, on his chest, on his cheek, her hands were everywhere, and if he hadn't been able to hold Rapunzel right now and here, he knew he wouldn't have slept at all.
Not that he was sleeping right now. Rapunzel wasn't either. He was spooning her tightly against his chest, and she was gently stroking the pulse point on his wrist, trying to calm him down with the gesture. Eugene hoped she couldn't feel him tremble behind her, but it was probably a lost cause. She kept on touching him and he kept on breathing, until everything seemed a little more normal again. He wouldn’t say he was relaxed but he was… Significantly better than earlier. His hands had been so shaky that Rapunzel kept holding them on the entire way to the caravan. He loved her.
Softly, Eugene shifted and kissed the nap of her neck, drawing a shiver out of her.
"I love you," he whispered. "Thank you for rescuing me, again."
It was said in a light tone, intended as a joke, but Rapunzel immediately wiggled out of his embrace to face him, still lying down. Her eyes were shining despite the darkness - she didn't look tired at all. She probably had too much on her mind, just like him.
"You don't have to thank me for that," she murmured fervently, pressing closer to him, and for a moment, he wished he could forget about everything but her.
He still couldn't get Stalyan's voice out of his head, couldn't forget that sinking feeling in his heart when he had been sure that Rapunzel thought he had left her. Anxiety was still coursing through his veins, because for a moment, he thought he had lost everything that ever mattered to him - and all of that because of his past. He had never hated himself more than at this moment.
"I'll always come for you," Rapunzel insisted, her hand going to touch his cheek lightly as she interrupted his musings. "I promise."
His eyes watered before he could stop it. He had a second to freak out, but no matter how hard he tried to bite them back, his body refused to listen - he could already feel his face twist in that ugly way of his as the tears built up.
Eugene sat up quickly, leaving Rapunzel's arms to put his palms over his eyes and his elbows on his raised knees. Eugene Fitzherbert didn't cry. He had an ugly crying face and nothing to cry about anyway and why were his eyes burning-
"Eugene?"
He sucked a breath through his teeth when he heard her call his name, but didn't move. If anything, he curled up on himself even more. He didn't cry. He hadn't cried since he left the orphanage, at least, and never planned to do it again. He didn't even cry when he died, though he had been close - why would he now?
I'll always come for you.
He knew that. He knew that. Rapunzel loved him, that wasn't a new information, his eyes had no reason shed tears about it of all things… Except that, today, Eugene saw Stalyan. Today, he remembered exactly what it felt like to be Flynn Rider - and to not have Rapunzel in his life. Less than two hours ago, Eugene had been sure that he would have to marry the woman that still gave him nightmares, all of that to save his best friend's life - and to say he felt uneasy about the entire situation was sugarcoating it.
Stalyan thought that they belonged together, and he couldn’t help but fear that she was right. Couldn't help but fear that he didn't deserve better, didn't deserve to be loved as Eugene after everything he did as Flynn. Stalyan knew him, she knew the worst parts of him like he knew the worst parts of her, and who better than her to see that he would never be worthy of Rapunzel?
"Eugene," Rapunzel said, her voice even in an obvious attempt to sooth him. "Eugene, can you stop biting your lips?"
"Oh," he exhaled, the sound wobbly - he hadn't even noticed, but he had drawn blood in his attempt to muffle himself. "Sorry- Sorry I-"
He cut himself, because he knew she would hear just how awful he was feeling if he kept on talking. Something told him she already knew. His face was hot under his palm, his tears escaping him despite his best efforts, and wow, Eugene hadn't expected himself to be this pathetic-
"Can I touch you?" Rapunzel asked, interrupting his thoughts once again.
He vaguely nodded beneath his hands and she scooted over, putting her head on his shoulder gently as her arm went around his back. A soft sob escaped him and he nearly bit his lips again, before remembering her previous words. The position had to be uncomfortable for her, all because he couldn't get ahold of himself.
"You don't have to… You don't have to stop yourself from crying," Rapunzel said tentatively, her hand making slow circles on his back.
"I- I have an ugly crying face," Eugene chuckled, the excuse familiar enough that he nearly sounded normal again. Because he was fine - he had no reason not to be. Stalyan was a thing of the past and yes, maybe today had been a close call but nothing had happened and he wasn't a young and stupid teenager dreaming to find his place in the world anymore; he knew where he stood with Rapunzel, he… He…
"It's okay to be scared, Eugene," Rapunzel murmured, and that sentence broke through every of his defences.
For a moment, he curled even further on himself, before abandoning all pretenses and turning towards her. Rapunzel instinctively knew what he wanted, and he wouldn't be able to tell who moved first, but suddenly he was in her arms, head pressed tightly against her shoulder as burning tears escaped his eyes. His fingers gripped her dress as he tried to anchor himself through the silent sobs shaking his body, his face contorting once again because of his crying. At least, where he was, she still couldn't see him.
His chest was heaving, and he didn't know why he was crying so hard, he didn't know why what happened affected him so much - or maybe he did, but refused to accept it. He had never revisited the "Stalyan events" after leaving her at the altar. The memories that had rushed to the forefront of his mind today, after years of being casted away, hurt just as much as he remembered it and- He couldn't tell Rapunzel. The simple idea of explaining to her exactly what had happened between him and Stalyan worsened his state, because his worst fear was that she- she would see the same things Stalyan did, and she would hate him, and… And that was unfair to Rapunzel to think like that but he couldn't stop himself.
He still remembered the person he was with Stalyan, and he hated it. Hated her for bringing out the worst in him because that was what she wanted her boyfriend to be; hated himself for doing everything to please her and more; hated himself, again, for being just as despicable as Stalyan was without prompting.
We belong together Flynn, her voice echoed again inside his mind, and a more violent sob shook through him. He hugged Rapunzel tighter -or maybe she did- and tried to drown it out with her scent and her warmth and her love.
He was probably ruining Rapunzel's dress with his stupid tears. Her fingers were gently massaging his scalp, and that was nice. He could feel her hair tickling his neck, could sense her chest moving with her respiration, could count the circles her hand was doing on his back. Little nothings which meant everything to him, and as always, Rapunzel was his light in the night. Slowly, Eugene felt like he could breathe again.
"I will always come for you, Eugene," Rapunzel said again, louder this time, "I don't want you to ever doubt that."
"Ah, I... So-"
"Don't say sorry."
"-oookay," Eugene snorted, quite ungracefully. "I- I love you."
She put her hands on his chest to push him back gently, and his first reaction was to try and hug her tighter, before sighing. He wouldn't be able to hide from her forever. His face was a mess, he knew it, and yet Rapunzel cupped his cheeks tenderly, eyes shining in the darkness and looking so beautiful that Eugene couldn't help being even more flustered. He wanted to quip about his crying face again, because he knew it was hideous, but he didn't think she would appreciate it. She never did like it when he was demeaning himself, even in a joking manner.
Her thumb lightly brushed out the wetness under his eyes, blessedly cool against his warm skin.
"I love you," Rapunzel whispered fervently. "I love you so much, Eugene, and I never want you to think that you have to hide your tears from me."
Of course, that only managed to make his eyes tear up again. His right hand went over hers on his cheek, engulfing hers really, and his heart seemed to be fluttering with emotion as he exhaled shakily. Rapunzel was the one to hug him this time, her arms going around his neck as his hands settled on her back and, somehow, they were fitting perfectly together.
Eugene had never believed in fate, soulmates, or whatever set-in-stone paths people loved to think about. He always hated these ideas, because if fate was a thing, then it was his to be a lonely and good for nothing orphan - and if soulmates truly existed, then him and Stalyan were a perfect match.
Now, he wasn't so sure. Perhaps being a lonely orphan was his fate, because it led him to meeting Rapunzel. Perhaps meeting her was his fate. But what they did next, their acts and their friendship and their love - all of that, they made it themselves. And so, maybe Flynn could have belonged with Stalyan, but Eugene chose to love Rapunzel everyday of his life, and he knew she did the same. Maybe that was what it meant, to be soulmates. Or maybe the universe simply didn't have as much meaning as people wanted it to.
For now, Eugene and Rapunzel were lying down on the bed, still in each other's arms, though Rapunzel was clearly spooning him now. He always felt safe when she did that. His eyes were swollen from crying, and his face felt too hot against Rapunzel's skin, but she was softly breathing against him and he knew everything would be fine.
Rapunzel would probably have questions about his relationship with Stalyan - questions that he was, frankly, not eager to answer - but it was all a problem for tomorrow. That night, they slept deeply, exhausted, but relieved to be together.