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Sure, there were times between videos where Thomas called on them, but more often than not the Sides stayed up in their rooms… and the rest of the headspace. Virgil spent a large proportion of his time hidden away, the doors shut and his music blasting through his headphones. He buried himself in his hoodie that he refused to let go, ('The rips and patches are fashion Patton!'). Virgil craved familiarity, it was safe, change was unknown and scary and he couldn't protect himself from it. The others insisted that he could just fix it and be done with it but Virgil liked showing the patches and rips. The others also all had their opinions on Virgil's room, even the dark sides tended to give it a wide berth, it was oppressive and dark and dingy. Virgil lay back, surrounded by hoodies and dirty clothes that he didn't have the energy to clean. There was so much going on and yet nothing at all and-
He was spiralling again.
Virgil wasn't sure when the last time he'd left his room was. Actually when he thought about it that was kind of worrying. The last time that he had been in a video was… months ago. When had he last eaten? When was the last time he'd changed his clothes? Surely the other's would have noticed if it had been too long… wouldn't they? Patton would have noticed that something was wrong and that he wasn't there; he would have been the first to check if there was something wrong. Or Logan, he would have realised that the balance was off and that Thomas was at the wrong end of the weird curve he went on about. Or Roman. Roman would-
'Of course they wouldn't,' he chided himself. They would be glad he was gone. They wouldn't even notice that he wasn't around. Why would they? They should be happy that-
A tentative knock came from the other side of the door, "Hey Virge?"
He flinched at the sound and took a deep breath in, croaking out a "Hi…"
"Virge, can I come in?" The other side said,
"Sure…" he muttered, wiping his eyes with his tattered hoodie sleeve and blinking, barely looking up.
The door was gently pushed open, light flooding into the room, almost blinding Virgil as he curled tighter inwards. "Hey Virge, I was just wondering-"
The other side stopped talking, so Virgil rolled over to face him, bleary-eyed with eyeshadow smudged down his cheek, "What's up Roman?"
Roman furrowed his brow in concern, he looked almost angelic, his bright white clothes against the dark surroundings - hold on. Virgil pushed that thought right to the back of his mind. "Virge what happened you look awful-"
"You don't look so great yourself Princey." He was lying, obviously, Roman was haloed in the light pouring into the room from the hallway like some kind of - shut up Virgil! What was going on with him?
Roman put his hand to his chest in mock outrage, "How very dare you! I have never looked better, thank you very much!" His gaze softened, "But also you know what I mean Hot Topic,"
Virgil snickered, "I can't look that bad if you think I'm-"
"Virgil if you finish that sentence I swear to all things good and gracious-"
"Okay, okay," Virgil pushed himself up and leant his elbows on his knees, "What d'you want Princey?"
"I just wanted to check in-"
"Uh huh, of course you did. What happened?"
"Nothing happened I just wanted-"
"Face it Princey, you wouldn't come check if something hadn't happened, so spit it out and be done with it." Virgil rolled his eyes.
"Virge, I just hadn't seen you in a while and thought I'd check to see if you were okay," Roman had the audacity to look hurt, his regal attitude disregarded at the door.
"Roman you and I both know you dislike me, this whole facade is pointless, we're not making a video, you can go back to telling the others how much you hate me now." Virgil sighed. Stupid Roman and his stupid face and his stupid laugh and his stupid- Nope, he was not going there, nope, nope, nope.
Roman's mouth was slightly ajar, "Virgil, what made you think I didn't like you?"
"What do you mean? Other than the everything?"
"Virgil I-"
"It's stupid okay, I don't care. I'm fine. There. Happy now?"
Roman stepped towards him, barely avoiding putting his foot in a pile of...something, Virgil really needed to clean up. "No, I- Virge, there's clearly something wrong,"
Virgil shrugged, "Nothings wrong, I'm fine."
"But Virge-"
"I'm fine." He insisted.
Roman looked like he was going to say something but had thought better of it, "When did you last eat?"
Virgil shrugged again, "Dunno, recently?"
"Have you left your room at all?"
Virgil nonchalantly shook his head, "Nah,"
"Virgil I-"
"Why would you care Roman." Virgil stared him down, definitely not noticing that Roman had done something new with his hair and that it looked great.
"Because I care about you! You're important and-" Roman exclaimed.
"What happened to 'we'd be better off without him', huh?" Virgil deadpanned,
Virgil felt awful when he caught Roman ever so subtly flinch at that, "I didn't mean it like that…" he trailed off, "I thought that you knew now that I…"
"Look Roman, it's fine, I'm used to it. I used to hang around with Remus and Deceit. I'm more than familiar with a casual put down."
"But I shouldn't have..."
"Prince Perfect, you can do no wrong, I wouldn't fret, after all that's my job,"
Roman didn't even laugh, he was really losing his touch, he perched lightly beside Virgil on the bed, none of his usual boisterous behaviour, "Can I-" he held his arm around Virgil not quite touching him.
Virgil just flopped right into him, as he did Roman held him closer, "It's just- It doesn't matter it's stupid anyway."
"Virge, it's not stupid, you can talk to me,"
"You were right."
Roman looked confused, "Right about…?"
"About me." Virgil huffed, "You guys really don't need me."
"But Virge we already went through this and-"
"I know." Roman may have no idea what to say but Virgil had to admit he was kind of cosy, "But think about it, you guys are usually perfectly good at motivating Thomas and even if he needed that fear, well Remus is unsettling enough for him."
"But Virgil-"
"I should just duck out."
"Virgil no!"
Virgil tilted his head up and looked Roman straight in the eyes, "Why." Not a question, a statement, he knew he should he was awful and annoying and-
"Because we need you," Virgil was about to interrupt but Roman powered on, "You help Thomas carry on, you give him that extra push that he needs, you're dependable and consistent and you hold us back when," he looked down a little sheepishly, "You hold me back when I go too far." Roman was babbling,
"But-"
"And I'd miss you,"
Virgil stopped for a second, processing what the creative side was telling him, "You'd… miss me?" Virgil was stuck on Roman's words but also the fact that he smelt of honey and the first cup of tea that you drink as the sun rises-
Roman looked at him like he was an idiot, "Of course I'd miss you! Why wouldn't I!"
Virgil mulled the words over and stumbled over them, "But, you hate me?"
"I don't hate you! Why would I hate you!" Roman's words were beginning to jumble together, "I could never hate you Virgil! In fact it's the opposite I-" This was not normal, Roman was very loud and Virgil was not- "I love you Virgil!" This wasn't Roman, "I love the stupid jokes you make and your laugh, even though it's rare!" How had he not noticed the eyeshadow beginning to appear? "Virgil I'm so sorry I didn't want to hurt you, did I hurt you I-"
Virgil interjected, "Roman," he put his hands on his shoulder, "Roman look at me, Roman look at me, you've been in my room for way too long." Virgil cursed himself for not thinking it through, "Roman we're going,"
Virgil half-dragged, half-guided Roman to the door despite his whining. He was shaking at that point, dragging him to the lounge. He wrapped Roman tight in a hug to calm himself down, if anything else.
"Okay Roman, you know the drill, breathe with me, in for four," Virgil counted out loud, "There you go you stupid prince, now hold," he counted again, "And out, there we go, better?"
Roman looked at Virgil. He hated him. Roman definitely hated him now, he had to. "Your room is the worst Emo Nightmare,"
Virgil tried to suppress his laugh, unsuccessfully, "You don't say Ro?"
"Why does it do that! How do you live like that!"
"What make you say things that aren't aren't true and panic? Not sure, guess I'm just anxious enough that it doesn't affect me,"
"Wait, say things that aren't true? Would have thought that would have been Janus' room!" Roman laughed, getting his bravado back a bit before mumbling, "Wait Janus must have a room, where's his room?"
"I mean I guess it must be how you react to the panic, rather than the room makes you do that,"
"Wait, me specifically, or all of us?"
"Well I mean," Virgil fumbled with his hoodie string, "I mean, I'm not sure, whenever you're in there you say all these things that aren't true about me so-"
"Like what?" Roman asked a little too confidently,
"Like, uh, what you said just now," Virgil looked away, "That you, uh you know, me?"
"That I love you?" Roman said, with that stupid knowing smirk that Virgil hated so much.
"Yeah, that."
"Who said it was a lie?"
Virgil's heart did a backflip, fell on it's face and then bellyflopped onto a concrete floor in around the time span of three seconds. "Well, it must have been because… well… you must not,"
"And why my Angel of Darkness, can't I love you?" Roman's eyes told him everything, this was a challenge.
"Because, we're opposites Roman! I stand for everything going wrong! I'm anxious all the time, I spend all my days in my room, I avoid social interaction like the plague and I'm just… not like you." Virgil sighed, meeting the eyes of the creative side, "You're whimsical and daring and stupidly brave and you're impulsive and an idiot and I-"
Roman looked a little crestfallen, "So I can take this as you not… returning my feelings Virgil."
"No!" Virgil said hurriedly, "Its complicated! I just- Why me? I'm literally the embodiment of anxiety and you're… you're hope and joy and dreams and I can never compare to that Ro." Virgil stared pointedly at the other side of the room, "I've liked you for a long time Roman. I'd appreciate it if you didn't play games with me."
"Virgil?"
"Yes?"
"Can I kiss you?" Virgil's eyes were wide as Roman took his hands and for once Roman looked almost as nervous as he was, "You can say no, I won't be offended-"
Virgil grasped Roman and pulled him down so that their lips finally met. He was rewarded with the most adorable surprised squeak from Roman and refused to let go as they both melted into the kiss. Roman's lips were softer than he expected and both of them had their hands in the other's hair and it felt perfect. Virgil probably should have expected that Roman, the romantic and passionate side, was a very good kisser.
When they pulled away from each other, eyes fixed on the other completely they both stopped for a second,
"That was-"
"Wow…"
Virgil laughed, "Yeah, nicely put, wow,"
"So uh, would you be opposed to carrying this on?"
"Roman was that your very eloquent way if asking me to be your boyfriend?"
"Yes!" Roman was blushing, Roman was blushing. Virgil's brain could not cope with this it was adorable, "You caught me off guard, stop staring at me!"
Virgil chuckled, "Sorry, you're just cute,"
"I'm not cute, I am incredibly handsome!"
"Cute,"
"Virge, you never answered my question!"
"Okay Prince Charming, sweep me off my feet then."
Virgil did not expect Roman to take this literally and hissed as Roman carried him, princess style, to the kitchen, "Ro..." he whined,
"No more kisses until you eat!" Roman declared,
Virgil laughed, "Well if you insist."
It was nice having someone who cared.