Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Put in the hyperspace coordinates, Artoo,” Master Ani said.

Artoo beeped happily and plugged into the port. It had been far too long since he’d had the opportunity to plug in hyperspace coordinates. Master Ani had spent over a year stuck on Coruscant. Artoo wasn’t exactly sure of everything that had been going on, but Master Ani had been arguing with the Jedi Council a lot. All he really cared about was that Master-Ani’s-sweet-sister-Ahsoka was back and a Jedi again. She and Master Ani had gone on one mission together, but Artoo hadn’t been invited.

He hadn’t been very happy about that.

He did acknowledge, however, that the Republic had needed him. The Senate had been in an uproar ever since Artoo had dumped his information on the Holonet. Artoo’s bomb had been blamed on a rogue Separatist droid. A lot of political machinations Artoo preferred to leave to Mistress Padmé, Friend-Bail, Former-Chief-of-State-Mon Mothma, and Master-Ani’s-sweet-sister-Ahsoka’s-boyfriend had ensued. Of course, Master-Ani’s-sweet-sister-Ahsoka claimed she had no boyfriend, but Artoo knew what a secret relationship was. He also knew it didn’t need to be secret anymore after the changes the Jedi had made, but the silly sentients wouldn’t listen to him.

They never did.

The Skywalker family, which included reckless-Master-Obi-Wan-Ben-Kenobi-Mistress-Leia’s-only-hope and Master-Ani’s-sweet-sister-Ahsoka, was finally temporarily released from their duties and were going on a much-needed vacation to Naboo. At least, that’s what they thought was happening.

Artoo happily inputted the coordinates for Corellia.

“What are we doing at Corellia?” Master Ani demanded.

Artoo didn’t answer. How could he convince the Skywalkers they had to land? He would trust mysterious-Force-energy-field-Master-Luke’s-favorite-thing that they would land in the right city, but he had to convince Master Ani to land first.

“Artoo?” Master Ani said.

Artoo plugged into the ship and scanned for faults. He discreetly broke several things in the system computer that would force them to land. Alarms filled the ship.

Master Ani said a word that wasn’t appropriate for one-year-olds and began descent into the atmosphere of Corellia.

“Another one of your brilliant landings?” reckless-Master-Obi-Wan-Ben-Kenobi-Mistress-Leia’s-only-hope commented tiredly.

“It’s not my fault!” Master Ani protested.

Master-Ani’s-sweet-sister-Ahsoka leaned on the back of Master Ani’s chair. “It never is, is it, Master?”

“What’s wrong?” Mistress Padmé called from the back where she was alternating between feeding the twins and throwing up.

“Nothing!” Master Ani called. “Just a little engine trouble! We’re making an emergency landing on Corellia.”

“Corellia?” Mistress Padmé asked. Artoo calculated the odds of her coming into the cockpit to investigate were very high indeed.

His sensors caught the sound of vomiting.

Never mind.

The landing was somewhat shaky, but they landed safely in a large city on Corellia. Artoo wasn’t exactly sure which one, but he didn’t much care. He was confident Crazy-Master-Han-Solo was somewhere out there.

Master Ani got into the workings of the engine. “Come on, Artoo, let’s fix this thing.”

[Sorry, Master Ani, I have a mission here. You will have to fix the ship on your own. I will be back soon.] Artoo rolled through the hangar Master Ani had landed in, heading for the closest door.

“Mission? What mission? Artoo? Artoo, come back!”

Artoo tuned out Master Ani’s call as he entered the streets of Corellia. Now to find Crazy-Master-Han-Solo.

Artoo had been traveling the city longer than he had hoped, but he believed he had just struck pay dirt, as the humans liked to say. He had been scanning the crowd for tiny pickpockets for hours while traveling through both rich and dangerous parts of the city. Several different people had tried to steal him, but he had many weapons in him, and had driven them all off. He had also had to dodge Master Ani and reckless-Master-Obi-Wan-Ben-Kenobi-Mistress-Leia’s-only-hope several different times.

Crazy-Master-Han-Solo was very small and rather dirty, but Artoo recognized him. He would recognize him anywhere.

Artoo wove through the crowd to where tiny-crazy-Han-Solo was shadowing a rather rich tourist. Just as tiny-crazy-Han-Solo reached up, Artoo reached out his manipulator arm and grabbed his pants leg.

“Hey!” tiny-crazy-Han-Solo turned. “Let me go!”

Artoo doubted this tiny version of Han Solo knew Binary, as Crazy-Master-Han-Solo had never learned, but he was going to attempt to speak to him anyway. [Come with me, little one. I can lead you to your future wife.]

“I don’t know you. Let me go!” Tiny-crazy-Han-Solo tried to tug his pants leg away from Artoo, but he held tight.

Artoo showed a hologram of their ship. After all, Crazy-Master-Han-Solo had always loved ships, though he’d loved his stupid-rude-piece-of-junk-Millenium-Falcon-only-I’m-allowed-to-insult-Threepio the best. Maybe seeing a cool ship would be a lure.

“What’s that, your ship? I didn’t steal it, I promise! I’m not the person you’re looking for!”

Artoo would have sighed if he could. Crazy-Master-Han-Solo liked pilots. Maybe tiny-crazy-Han-Solo would like Master Ani. He switched his hologram to Master Ani piloting their ship.

“R2-D2, you come back here!” Master Ani yelled.

Artoo spun his dome around. Master Ani was stalking through the crowd towards him, and he looked rather angry. [Go away, I’m busy.]

“Why do you keep running away from me?”

Artoo ignored him. He turned back to tiny-crazy-Han-Solo. The boy had frozen and his mouth had dropped open.

“Is—is that Anakin Skywalker?” tiny-crazy-Han-Solo’s voice was filled with awe.

[Yes, it is. You should come with us because you’re going to marry his daughter.]

Master Ani came right up to Artoo. “What is wrong with you?”

“Noth…nothing, sir,” tiny-crazy-Han-Solo stammered.

“What—Artoo, what are you doing? Are you trying to kidnap this poor boy? Let him go!” Master Ani said.

[No! This orphan is in need of a family. He’s being forced to slave for a criminal making him pickpocket for him!] Of course, Artoo was basing most of this on guesswork and the vague clues Crazy-Master-Han-Solo had dropped about his childhood, but he would venture to guess he was pretty accurate. He also calculated the high probability of the word “slave” prompting Master Ani to intervene.

“I didn’t do anything wrong! I promise!” tiny-crazy-Han-Solo pleaded. He tried to tug his pants away from Artoo’s manipulator arm, but Artoo held on tight. He wouldn’t let go until he was assured the boy would befriend the Skywalkers and fall in love with Mistress Leia.

Master Ani crouched down and gently grasped tiny-crazy-Han-Solo’s shoulders. “It’s all right. I know you didn’t do anything wrong. My droid’s just gone a little crazy, that’s all.” He glared at Artoo.

Artoo would have glared back if he could. [I am not crazy! I am on a mission to rescue this boy from a life of misery!]

“Mission? From who?”

[Myself.]

Master Ani sighed. “What is your name?”

“Han Solo, sir.”

Artoo had to restrain himself not to blat in surprise. Crazy-Master-Han-Solo being respectful? Would wonders never cease? [Son of Jonash and Jaina Solo, descendant of Berethron e Solo, currently in need of a family and a loving home.] And a wife. But the boy was a bit too young for that yet. He had to meet Mistress Leia first, and the youngling had to overcome her unnerving tendency to drool, babble, and scream.

Come to think of it, that last one would probably never go away.

“Artoo, quiet. I’m sorry my droid harassed you. Can I take you back to your parents?”

Tiny Han Solo shook his head. “I don’t have parents.”

[No, he’s an orphan! And he needs help being saved from a life of misery being controlled by an evil man that controls a criminal organization that exploits children. Jedi are meant to help people. Do your job!]

Master Ani shot him a dirty look. “Would you stay out of this?”

[Have I ever steered you wrong?]

Master Ani sighed. “All right, all right!”

[And he needs a family on Coruscant. Preferably near the Jedi Temple.]

Master Ani grumbled under his breath. Artoo’s sensors caught a few words, such as “pushy little droid” and “never hear the end of this”, but he turned back to tiny Han Solo. “May I escort you to your guardian?”

Tiny Han Solo shook his head. “I don’t have one.”

[See! I told you! He’s an orphan that needs a family.]

“Are—aren’t you Anakin Skywalker?” tiny Han Solo asked. “Is General Kenobi here too? Can I be your pilot? I mean, I know you’re the best pilot in the galaxy, but I’m the second best! I could fly you around places, and you wouldn’t have to pay me much at all! Please, I need off planet, I can’t be caught! Jedi are supposed to help people, aren’t they? I need help! I’m a great pilot, I promise!”

“Now, hold on, why can’t you be caught?”

Tiny Han Solo shifted back and forth. “There’s a man, he…” Here his voice dropped. “He raised me. He’s got a gang of kids he makes be criminals. I escaped him, but my cousin’s a real jerk and he kicked me out even though we’re family and we’re s’posed to look out for each other. I’ve got nowhere else to go, and Shrike’s gonna catch up to me real soon! I can’t go back, please, take me with you. I’ll be good, I promise!”

[See! I told you! He needs help. Aren’t you going to give it?]

Master Ani gently patted tiny Han Solo’s shoulder. “It’s all right. You can come with me. We’ll… figure something out.”

Good. The tiny Han Solo was going to come back with them. Artoo let go of tiny Han’s pant leg. Tiny Han jumped away. “Crazy droid,” he muttered.

Master Ani escorted tiny Han back to the ship. Artoo followed happily behind them. Everything was going as planned. Now he just needed to find a loving family for tiny Han that would ensure frequent contact with the Skywalkers, while preventing any of the Skywalker family from actually adopting tiny Han themselves.

He would have to contact Dad-Plo. Dad-Plo would gladly adopt tiny Han.

Reckless-Master-Obi-Wan-Ben-Kenobi-Mistress-Leia’s-only-hope walked up to Master Ani at the ramp of the ship. “Who’s this?”

“A local. He’s in a bit of trouble, so we’re going to give him the help he needs. He’ll be staying with us for a while,” Master Ani said.

Reckless-Master-Obi-Wan-Ben-Kenobi-Mistress-Leia’s-only-hope facepalmed. “You’re turning into Qui-Gon.”

At that, Master Ani grinned. “I’d say that’s a compliment.”

“Woah! That’s a real cool ship! Can I see it?” Tiny Han Solo ran aboard. “Hi, ma’am. Hey, get off of my leg.”

Artoo rolled up the ramp. Beloved Master Luke was clinging to tiny Han Solo’s leg, using it to keep himself standing. He squealed with laughter and turned the clinging into a hug.

Master Ani scooped up beloved Master Luke from the floor, then stepped into the other room to talk with Mistress Padmé.

Artoo rolled over to the console and plugged himself in. He fixed all the problems he had created with the ship, then pulled up a direct comm line with Dad-Plo.

“Good morning, little one. How can I help you?” Dad-Plo asked.

[There is a tiny orphan in need of adopting. He’s an excellent pilot, he’s lost his family, and he’s trying to escape from a criminal organization run by a man named Shrike, who enslaves children and forces them to pickpocket for him. He is a human boy around age eleven, Corellian. His name is Han Solo. Are you willing to provide him with a proper home?]

“Of course I am. I’d like to meet this Han Solo. Where are you now?”

[Sending the coordinates now.] Artoo sent their current coordinates to Dad-Plo.

“I’ll be right over. Tell your master to not go anywhere until I get there,” Dad-Plo said.

[I will!] Artoo beeped happily. He shut down the comm line and locked down the ship. They wouldn’t be going anywhere until Artoo unlocked it, and he wouldn’t unlock it until Dad-Plo got here. Artoo was certain, given his calculations, that Dad-Plo would immediately decide to adopt tiny-Han as soon as he saw him. After all, the Jedi High Council had had to put a limit on the number of young clones who’d recently gone through the genetic fix Master Ani and Mistress Padmé had insisted upon that Dad-Plo was allowed to adopt, especially since Dad-Plo had also adopted his entire battalion.

His job was almost done.

Now he just had to wait for beloved-master’s-wife-Mara to be born.

Chapter Text

Artoo had been obsessively checking birth records for months. His twins were two when he finally found her.

Mara Jade, born a few hours ago at Galactic City Hospital.

“Oh, dear. Artoo, get away from that dataport and come help me at once. Master Ani needs wipes and I can’t find any because the baby’s diaper exploded on me. Mistress Padmé is too busy trying to keep the twins from throwing toys at each other. Mistress Leia bit Master Luke while Mistress Padmé was making a fundraising comm! Hurry!”

Artoo let out an electronic sigh and spun away from the dataport to hunt down wipes for Master Ani. The whole family was kept busy all hours of the day trying to corral the twins and baby Obi-Wan Kenobi Skywalker, dubbed Ben by a Luke unable to pronounce the name. Artoo had an internal countdown to the day when the twins were judged old enough to join the creche and they could have the Jedi babysit them for the day instead of dragging three kids around to two different jobs. Of course, it would help if the nanny droid Master Ani had built hadn’t accidentally been shot by a visiting Han Solo, but why was the nanny droid in the training area where Mistress Padmé was teaching tiny Han better blaster techniques anyway? The moronic nanny droid was still being rebuilt by Master Ani.

Artoo flew up to the shelf in the food closet where they kept their extra packets of wipes and grabbed one with his manipulator arm. He was supposed to be in the midst of battle, not helping clean up baby refuse. How much fun he’d had over the years with Master Ani and beloved Master Luke. But now, there was no reason for him to be flying in battle. He rolled into the nursery and offered the wipes to Master Ani, who was at the changing table with Ben.

Master Ani took the package. “Thanks, Artoo. Tell Threepio to get in here, and I’ll clean him up next.”

[Will do.] Artoo spun around and fled out of the room before he could get saddled with any more baby duty. [Threepio, get your dung face in the nursery. Master Ani’s going to wipe you next, you big baby.]

“There’s no need to be so rude.” Threepio stalked huffily into the nursery.

Now, to Mara Jade. Artoo had to introduce beloved Master Luke to her, but how? He rolled to Mistress Padmé’s office. The twins were screaming at each other, and Mistress Padmé was rubbing her forehead while trying to shut up the twins and placate the alien on the comm simultaneously.

“Artoo! Can you get one of the twins out of here? I need them separated,” Mistress Padmé said.

[Gladly.] Artoo rolled to where beloved Master Luke was sobbing and screaming at Mistress Leia, who was just screaming. He quieted some as Artoo rolled up to him and held his pudgy hand up to him.

“Artoo, boo boo.”

Artoo cooed. He couldn’t see anything, but Threepio had said Leia had bitten him. [You poor thing, what happened?] The tiny child didn’t quite understand binary, but he almost always caught the gist of what Artoo said.

“Leia mean.” Luke crossed his tiny arms and frowned at his sister.

[Then we’d best get away from her.]

“G’way, Leia,” Luke said.

“No!” Leia shrieked. Artoo couldn’t be sure whether she was responding to what Luke said or just shouting her favorite word. “No! No! No!”

[Come, Luke. Let’s escape Leia.] Artoo started to roll away. Luke ran after him and climbed on top of him.

Perfect.

“Luke, don’t ride Artoo,” Mistress Padmé called, but neither Luke nor Artoo heeded her as they rolled out the door.

Beloved Master Luke clung to Artoo’s dome and giggled as he left the apartment and flew through the airways to Galactic City Hospital. Once, Artoo caught sight of a pudgy hand pointing to the speeders flying by.

“Ship!” Luke said happily.

[Yes, ship. Use two hands and don’t fall off.]

“Ship!” The hand waved at a speeder zooming by. “Hi!”

Artoo restrained an electronic sigh and pulled into the emergency room at Galactic City Hospital. Safe. Next time, he was just going to borrow the speeder. Too much chance of dropping Master Luke into the lower levels of Coruscant otherwise.

An Ithorian in scrubs stopped short at the sight of them. “What are you doing here?”

Artoo squealed and dodged the doctor.

“Hello, young one,” Dad-Plo said. “What are you doing here?”

Artoo spun around. Dad-Plo was sitting in between tiny Han and a tiny clone, both bloodied.

“Hi! Han boo boo.” Luke’s little hand waved to the three in front of Artoo’s viewport.

“Hi. I got hurt flying a ship,” tiny Han said.

“I helped!” the clone piped up.

“You helped crash the ship,” tiny Han retorted.

“I still helped! If you had been wearing your crash webbing, you wouldn’t have broken your arm,” the tiny clone protested.

“You weren’t wearing yours, either.”

“Boys!” Dad-Plo said.

Artoo took the distraction and rolled quickly away from Dad-Plo and his two disasters. Doctors, nurses, and med droids all reached out for him, but he dodged them all, ignoring Luke’s steady stream of “Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi!” Finally he reached the turbolift and punched in the number for the maternity level.

The maternity level wasn’t as full of obstacles. Artoo quickly found the room where Mara Jade had been placed, along with rows of other babies. Never mind them. He was only here for one. He convinced the door to let him into the room and rolled over to Mara Jade. The room was empty save for a med droid, and the adoring parents watching from the windows.

“Hey, what are you doing in here?” the med droid asked.

[Jedi business.]

“Oh. All right, go ahead. I’m not going to interfere in Jedi business.”

Artoo gently activated his booster rockets and rose to a height where both him and Luke could see the baby. She looked rather like a wrinkled red fruit, but he supposed that was normal.

“Baby,” Luke said.

[That’s right.]

“That’s Mara Jade,” the med droid said. “Her midichlorian count’s high. I assume that’s why you’re here?”

[Of course.] While technically Artoo wasn’t supposed to lie, he’d never cared much for that protocol, and of course, in the wars, he’d had to ignore it completely.

“Mara!” Luke repeated. “Hi!”

Another med droid rolled into the room and picked up the baby Mara. “I’m taking this one back to see her parents.”

“Take the Jedi droid with you,” the first med droid said.

Artoo followed the med droid out the room and down the hall.

“Down,” Luke said. His little feet kicked Artoo’s sides. “Artoo, down.”

The med droid entered a room with an exhausted red-haired young human woman and a smiling brown-haired young human man with green eyes. The young man swiftly took baby Mara from the droid’s arms.

“The baby was bathed and dressed. We did routine tests, and it turns out your baby has a high midichlorian count. Congratulations.” The med droid spun around and left.

Luke slid off Artoo.

“Tarkol, look!” Mara’s mother pointed at Artoo and beloved Master Luke.

The brown-haired young man turned to them. “Hello, what are you doing here?”

Why was everyone asking that? [We came to visit your baby. Congratulations, future in-laws of Luke!]

“Artoo!” Luke shifted from one foot to the other. “Artoo, I pooped.”

“Attention, visitors.” The intercom boomed. “A young human male and an astromech droid have been reported missing in our facility. The human is two years old, blond, and answers to the name Luke Skywalker. The astromech droid is white and blue and its designation number is R2-D2. If spotted, please return the child to Jedi Master Plo Koon in the emergency room or Jedi Master Anakin Skywalker at the front desk immediately.”

Artoo cursed. How had Master Ani gotten here so fast? Master Plo must have told him where they were. Curse that overprotective dad Jedi!

The couple was staring at them. Tarkol placed baby Mara in his wife’s arms and kissed her. “I’ll take them back, Myri.”

“All right, honey.” Myri shifted the baby in her arms and stroked her forehead.

Artoo resisted the urge to run away. He’d gotten what he’d wanted. He’d just have to come back with Luke later.

Tarkol picked up Luke and carried him out to the turbolift. Artoo followed behind.

At the front desk, Master Ani was arguing with doctors and med droids. “You have to let me go look for him. He’s my son! Let me past!”

“Master Jedi!” Tarkol called. “I think I found your son.”

“Daddy, I pooped,” Luke said.

Master Ani melted in relief. He swept Luke into his arms. “Thank you so much.”

“No problem.” Tarkol nodded and stepped back.

Master Ani rounded on Artoo. “What’s the matter with you? In what galaxy does ‘separate the twins’ mean ‘fly Luke to the hospital’?”

Artoo sighed and followed Master Ani out to the speeder, tuning out the ongoing lecture. He and Tarkol hadn’t said much more than hi to each other, so Artoo would have to continue until the family developed a genuine connection.

Dinner was hectic. Master-Ani’s-sweet-sister-Ahsoka and Master-Ani’s-sweet-sister-Ahsoka’s-fiancé were over for dinner, and halfway through the meal, Leia threw up on fiancé-Lux, Ben poured his baby food over his head, and dessert exploded. It was easy to lure Luke out of his booster seat and out to the family speeder without being noticed in all the chaos. One of the few words Luke knew for sure in Binary was the word “Fly.” All Artoo had to do was say that, and Luke had subconsciously undone the restraints with the Force and was following him repeating the word, “Fly!”

Luke bounced on the passenger seat of the speeder. “Fly! Fly! Fly!”

Artoo grabbed one arm with each manipulator arm and flew him into the booster seat, then poked the button that activated the restraints before he could get out. [Safety first.]

Luke’s bottom lip trembled. “I wanna fly.”

Artoo ignored him and flew the speeder off to Galactic City Hospital. Luke soon forgot his plea as he gasped at the lights and waved at the passing speeders. Artoo pulled into the crowded parking space near the emergency room entrance and lifted beloved Master Luke out with his manipulator arms and booster rockets.

Beloved Master Luke stuck his thumb in his mouth and laid his other hand on Artoo’s leg. He followed Artoo through the hospital. Artoo was mostly ignored this time.

Artoo went straight to the room of Myri and Mara Jade. The young family had fallen asleep, Myri in her bed, baby Mara in a floating bed for newborns to the side of the bed, and Tarkol in a chair.

Luke climbed onto the bed to get a closer look at Mara, then pointed at her. “Baby! Mara!”

Tarkol started awake. He blinked sleepily at the two intruders, then sighed. “I suspect you two aren’t supposed to be here.”

Luke sat down on the bed. “Hi.” He waved at Tarkol, then pointed at Mara again. “Baby.”

“Yes, that’s my baby. Your name’s Luke, right?”

Luke nodded and stuck his thumb back in his mouth. “’M Luke.”

“Where’s your daddy?”

“Home,” Luke said. “I fly.”

Tarkol sighed and stood up. Luke held up his arms and grabbed at him. He scooped up the toddler and left the room.

Artoo stationed himself in the doorway where he could watch both Myri and Mara in their room and Tarkol with beloved Master Luke talking to the nurses about how he could contact Anakin Skywalker.

It was almost an hour before Master Ani was reached and showed up at the hospital. In that time, Luke had fallen sound asleep in Tarkol’s arms, his thumb still in his mouth, and Myri Jade had woken up.

Mistress Padmé had come with Master Ani this time. The other kids must still be with Master-Ani’s-sweet-sister-Ahsoka and fiancé-Lux.

“Thank you so much for comming me,” Master Ani said. “I’m so sorry about all this. I don’t know what’s gotten into my droid lately.”

“It’s all right. Your son’s a pleasure. I’m Tarkol Jade. My wife just gave birth to a baby girl.” Tarkol stuck his hand out. Master Ani and Mistress Padmé shook it in turn.

“Anakin Skywalker,” Master Ani said.

“I’m Senator Padmé Amidala Skywalker.”

Tarkol nodded. “Nice to meet you both.” He transferred beloved Master Luke gently into Mistress Padmé’s arms, then ushered them into their hospital room. “May we ask you something?”

“Of course,” Padmé said. “What do you need?”

Tarkol took a deep breath. “Well, we just found out our baby girl is Force sensitive. Can you tell us what that means for her? What is the life of a Jedi like?”

Artoo watched happily as the couples bonded over questions about the Jedi way of life. Mistress Padmé and Master Ani promised to talk to them again to soothe their worries and tell them more of what it was like to raise a Force sensitive child, then eventually returned home with Artoo and Luke after being chased out because visiting hours were over. That didn’t spare Artoo a long lecture and a diagnostic check, but he didn’t mind.

His job was finally done.