Work Text:
Life is full of wonderful experiences.
You've realized this many times in your life.
You've had many, exhilarating, absolutely wonderful moments in your life.
But
Everything you've gone through
Nothing compares to when your son was born.
You remember the moment clearly, his physical form fading into the world.
You willed him into existence
You knew he would appear, naturally, but you couldn't help but be nervous.
Everything would be perfect.
Everything would be fine.
But
You couldn't shake the feeling that he would never appear, that he would see you and disappear.
That he would detect how bad of a father you are
And leave.
Proving that you are unworthy to be a father.
Unworthy of a caring and loving child.
You held him in your arms, feelings indescribable.
You fully understood what life is in that moment.
As you held the perfect example of life in your arms.
You took in every detail of their face the best you could, through your eyes filled with tears.
For willing them into existence, you were rewarded a small smile.
A loving, happy one from your child.
Your child.
That happy moment faded soon enough.
Concern
Fear
That’s what your employers made you believe they felt for you.
Concern of bringing up a child so young
In an environment such as your own
A long time, worthy investment, yes
But a bothersome one.
Fear
They feared that taking care of the child would warrant failure.
That you would fall behind in your job for taking care of them.
Empty words, you knew them as
Although they did not know you knew
But you would not let them go without a fight
So they agreed
They would stay
For now
You knew what that meant
Your child
For his own safety
Not for the dangers of what you job entailed
But
For what your employers will do
They do not enjoy anything that could affect their work.
They do not understand the beauty of life.
You will protect your child.
Even if you have to part with them.
You were well aware this would happen
Why does it still hurt?
You knew you had to do this.
Seven years
Now your son
On the table, stir-fry beef.
He enjoys it
You can feel yourself being overwhelmed with emotions.
He notices, he always does.
He’s great at things like that
An extremely talented boy.
You say it’s because it’s a very sad, but important day.
You take him to Dunkin’ Donuts.
You tell him, to pick something nice to eat or drink
A treat, even if you just had lunch.
He asks, why is this day important.
He finally gets to choose a last name.
Something from here, he chooses, as he finds it comforting.
You smile.
Why is it sad?
You have to go.
Good-bye, Tommy Coolatta.
My son.
You will be a perfect example of life, as you have always been.