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This was the fourth night in a row that you slept alone.
Your hand found the empty space next to you, your nails clawing at the cool fabric. Negan was out once again, most likely with one of them. You knew the other wives were all a part of his tactic to keep his control over the Sanctuary. Just as his brazen actions were on the day you and your husband had stormed the factory and taken control in the first place.
You ignored the bloody bodies that littered the floor of the old building as he walked among his new followers. Occasionally he would look back at you with that damn smile of his and regardless of the things he did, it never failed to make you melt.
However, that was when you were considered his equal, his queen, the only woman for him.
Now, you didn’t know where you stood. Half the time you didn’t see Negan. Your husband was always with Simon or Dwight or Arat planning something horrible or looking for more communities to torture. You had overheard Dwight talking to someone about a new place.
Crouched in a dark corner you listened as Dwight recounted what had happened. They had killed all the men, even the boys. Your stomach twisted in on itself. Negan couldn’t have known about that, right? He had rules. Then again, everyone was Negan and his Saviors never did anything without his knowledge. Disgust turned to anger and it was then that you realized that something had to change if you were going to continue to be by Negan’s side.
As night turned to morning, the door to your bedroom finally opened. You stood by the window watching the Sanctuary wake up for the day, your back turned to him. “Long night?” you asked, keeping your eyes on the rising sun. Negan sighed, collapsing into a chair by the bed.
“You know me, doll, always workin’,” he said, leaning back. You turned to him and your stomach recoiled at the sight of his mussed shirt and tousled hair. He wasn’t even trying to hide it anymore. “You’re doing it again,” Negan said.
“Doing what?” you asked, exasperated.
“Looking at me like I killed your childhood pet,” he said, rubbing a hand over his cheeks.
“I’m just tired, Negan,” you said. “Haven’t been sleeping well.”
“You gotta get out more, (Y/N),” he said, “Get some sun on your back again. Can’t have you going all distant on me, can I?” Negan got up and approached you, his fingers going under your chin to lift your face to his. He leaned in kissed your lips, but you felt nothing. When he pulled back you could smell perfume and you instantly recognized it as Frankie’s.
“I’ll keep that in mind,” you said. Negan grinned at you and then turned to strip off his shirt and grab a new one. You watched as he went around your bedroom getting ready for the day. When he went to pick up that damn bat of his, you turned away again.
“Might be another long night, doll,” Negan said, “Don’t wait up!” he called over his shoulder as he sauntered out of the room.
“Don’t worry,” you whispered to yourself, “I won’t.”
That night you didn’t sleep.
You grabbed enough supplies to get you through at least a week out in the world as well as a couple of weapons you knew Negan kept hidden in the room. As you put everything in your backpack, you glanced down at your left hand. The diamond ring sat proudly on your finger just as it had since he had asked you to be his wife before the world turned to shit.
You twisted it off and placed it on the nightstand on his side of the bed. You then took out the knife he had gifted you on your first night at the Sanctuary. You stabbed the blade into the wood next to the ring. You couldn’t do it anymore. It was all too much. The blood, the women, the kneeling… he was no longer Negan. At least not the Negan you fell in love with.
Grabbing your bag, you snuck out of the room. You couldn’t help but laugh at the lack of security outside of your bedroom. You figured he probably had his men watching over the new wives now. The thought only made you move faster through the corridors of the factory.
You, of course, knew all the checkpoints throughout the place as you were the one to help establish them, especially the watch points. You had been a professor before everything had happened and your concentration was the history of warfare in past civilizations. You figured that was one of the only reasons Negan still kept you around.
Sneaking through the dark halls, you finally made it outside. The snipers on the North side were screwing around as usual so when you passed through their sights, no alarm was sounded. The wall of the Dead and their groans pierced through the night. Tossing your jacket over the top of the fence, you got over the barbed wire and hit the ground, the moans around you hiding the sound of your boots. You moved through the decaying bodies, taking out a few as you headed for the road at the edge of the Sanctuary.
Slipping over the final fence, you turned to look at the building that had once been your home but turned into your tomb. You were already imagining Negan’s reaction of finding you gone and your ring and knife on the table. You liked to think that maybe he would look for you or even cry in your absence, but knowing the new man he had become, he would probably just go and comfort himself with one of his new whores. He might even get a new one to replace you.
Taking one last look, you headed North in hopes of finding a new beginning and prayed you’d never see your husband again.
2 YEARS LATER
A knock at the door to your office had you looking up from the weapon you were sharpening.
“Come in,” you called. The door pushed open and your second-in-command, Ari, stood in the threshold. “What is it? You have that look on your face.”
“What look?” she asked.
“The look that says shit is about to hit the fan,” you offered. Ari chuckled.
“Got some news, boss. Looks like some kind of caravan is moving along the Southern border,” Ari told you.
“Hostile?” you asked.
“Possibly. They have some pretty big armored trucks and Danny already took out two scouts.”
“Dead?” Ari nodded.
“They had weapons, wouldn’t say who they were,” Ari said, “He didn’t want to take any chances.”
“No, that’s good,” you said, “I don’t want to take any chances either. Not after what happened with the Rangers.” Ari nodded in agreement. When the group who called themselves the Rangers had attacked the Parthenon, the community you now controlled, you swore that nobody would be coming into your land unless you gave the green light.
“Orders?” Ari asked. You looked down at the blade on the table before you, the matching one was already slung over your shoulder.
“If they come to the gates,” You look at Ari with a small devious smile, “take them.”
The caravan indeed arrived at the gates of the Parthenon not long after their scouts were killed. Ari radioed to you and you met them at the front. Your people passed you, nodding respectfully at the woman they called “Athena”. You didn’t like the nickname, but you never corrected them except when it came to your inner circle. It also gave you the illusion of anonymity when it came to your enemies.
After escaping the Sanctuary, you had walked for days. When the water had run dry and you were close to starving, you had found the Parthenon. You named it that due to the old greek columns that stood at the front of the old plaza. Survivors were already there, fighting to stay alive. They had offered you food and a place to sleep. It was there that you met Ari, Danny, and a few others. They had already begun to fortify the area with fences, but you challenged them to think bigger and so you got to work.
Two years later and the Parthenon was fortified, armed, and a flourishing community that elected you as the leader. Nobody went hungry, nobody was forced to stay or go, and nobody kneeled. The original Parthenon in Greece was the temple of Athena, the goddess of wisdom and war strategy. You figured it was a sign, as did Ari, which is where your flamboyant nickname arose.
At this moment, however, it came in handy. Ari stood at the watch post above the steel gates that sat between the largest columns. The roar of the trucks stopped before your front door and Ari, trained her gun down on the caravan. “You have one chance at turning around assholes!” Ari yelled down to the anonymous people at your gates.
“Oh come on! We’re here to make friends, Darlin’!” The world rocked beneath your feet at the voice. It had been two years, but you would never forget his voice. Not his, not ever. You grabbed your walkie immediately.
“Take them now, Ari! Right now!” you yelled. Ari wasted no time in giving the signal. Your people, the warriors you had trained, came out of their hiding spots both inside the walls and outside. Shouts of surprise echoed across the group. Gunshots went off and curses were thrown, but soon, everything settled. Ari looked to you as you approached the front gates.
“More blood will be spilled if you try anything in the presence of Athena,” Danny warned who was on the opposite side of Ari.
“Who the fuck is Athena?” Your teeth gritted as he spoke again, fueling your rage and the sadness that pooled in your chest. You looked to Maxon and Conrad who were the sentries at the gate.
“Open it,” you ordered. They nodded and took a handle each. Ari and Danny dropped down from their posts and flanked either side of you as the gates were pulled open. Before you were around twenty men and women. Each one had two of yours behind them, guns pressed to their heads as they kneeled before you. A man to the left was the first to recognize you.
“Holy hell,” he said and you turned to look at him with a small smile.
“Hello Simon,” you greeted the Savior. Arat was next to him who looked at you in complete shock. You then turned to the man of the hour. Negan kneeled before you as you approached him. He stared at you as if he was seeing a ghost. In front of him lay that damn bat and you could see that it had a lot more bloodstains on it since the last time you had seen the wretched thing.
Stopping in front of him, you leaned down and picked up Lucille. He didn’t say a thing as you held her. You turned the bat over in your hands before swinging it up onto your shoulder and smiling at him for the first time. “(Y/N)?” he gasped.
“Hi, honey.”
It took five of your men to bring Negan into the holding cell.
Once he snapped out of his daze, he became angry again. He struggled against your enforcers as you led them into the jail. It was a small building on the edge of the community that you rarely used anymore. It was usually only used as a Drunk Tank for when Danny went on a run and brought back some whiskey or when you caught him with his moonshine business. The latter wasn’t all that bad as you still had a few jars stashed under your bed.
Your men hauled Negan into the cell and held him down while Danny attached the chains, securing him. Ari approached you as you stood in the corner of the small cage, watching him. “His men and women are being held in the stables, we have their weapons.”
“Check the trucks, take everything,” you ordered. Ari furrowed her brow. You weren’t plunderers, but these were no normal hostiles. “Trust me.” Ari nodded and then ordered everyone out to start raiding the Savior trucks. As soon as the cell door banged behind you, you stepped from the shadows.
You slowly circled Negan like a shark after prey. Lucille was still on your shoulder, the bat named for his first wife, the one he left for you. “I forgot how heavy she was,” you said as you came around to face him again. You swung Lucille around, testing out a few strikes. “You always made it look so easy.”
“(Y/N)…” he began.
“No!” you shouted, slamming Lucille against the bars behind you. “You don’t talk, you listen.” He glared at you, fighting his restraints. “You never stopped, did you? You’re still scaring people into submission and killing them when they defy you. All because you want their shit,” you said, stepping closer to him. “And to think I thought you would change in the years after I left. Tell me, Negan, how are your whores?”
“I thought you were dead,” he said and you stepped back, placing Lucille on the ground, leaning on the end of it.
“No, but I have a feeling I would be if I stayed in that place,” you said. “When did you notice I was gone? The next day? Or was it one of your sheep that discovered my absence?”
“I found the ring in the morning,” he told you. “Why did you leave after everything, we went through?”
“You mean how we slaughtered people so you could play king to a bunch of idiots that feared you? No, Negan, we didn’t do anything. I just followed you like a scared little girl, but I think we both know I couldn’t do that forever.”
“So you left because you were scared?” he asked. You laughed, shaking your head.
“No, I left because I was sick of being just another one of your toys. You changed Negan and not for the better. You started this whole…empire and left me in the dust. Did you ever think about what would happen when you started taking other women to bed? Then again, I shouldn’t be surprised, I was the one who you screwed while still married to Lucille.” The mention of his ex-wife made his eyes flare in anger. “We both know that no matter how much I loved you, you were not a good man.”
“So you became Athena,” he sneered. You shrugged and started to pace again, Lucille dragging behind you.
“I didn’t pick the nickname, but yeah, I guess I did. You did tell me I needed to get out more,” you joked. Looking back over at him, there seemed to be something on his mind besides this impromptu reunion. “What’s going on in that head of yours, Negan?” you asked.
“Why would you care?” he asked. You shrugged.
“Call me curious.” he thought about it for a moment before leaning back, the chains on his legs rattling.
“Dwighty boy snuck out with his wife and sister-in-law,” Negan said. You let out a laugh.
“Ah, so the little bird finally left the nest?” You sighed, “I can’t say I’m surprised, he hated you. I’m surprised he didn’t do it sooner.”
“What the hell happened to you?” he asked, his voice rising.
“You did!” You hollered, throwing the bat down and crossing over to him, getting in his face. “You became a monster, Negan! The man I loved, the man I married, the one I promised to always stand by became something out of a nightmare. You left me behind when you took the Sanctuary and you never looked back. I was lucky if I got five minutes with you on a good day and that was only if your wives weren’t in the mood for your bullshit. You wanna know why I left? It’s because you left me first!” You pushed him back, taking a few steps back.
“So this is all my fault? You were too unhappy and instead of coming to me, you take off in the middle of the night and I have to spend my resources and time looking for you!”
“Like you actually cared! You had the rest of them! You had your fucking kingdom and I was sick of waiting for the guillotine to come down on my head because you were bored of me, Negan!”
“Is that was you honestly think of me?” he asked, shocked. “(Y/N), I left Lucille for you! I made sure you survived when the world went to shit! I took the Sanctuary for you!”
“I never asked you to!” you screamed. “I never asked you to become a killer, a looter, a king! I just wanted you, Negan! I thought we would be taking on this world together just as we did with everything else. But I guess you had different plans and apparently I wasn’t a part of them.”
“Goddammit, you are still so fucking clueless!” he yelled.
“Excuse me?”
“You don’t get it, do you?”
“Oh, please enlighten me then,” you challenged.
“I never cared about them, the others,” he said, “Hell, they were always just for show, to keep their families in line. Yeah, I may have given in to a few temptations here and there, but shit woman, I didn’t love them. I didn’t even like them! You are who I love! Did you ever notice that you were never under heavy watch? That nobody followed you or got in your face? That’s because I trusted you, I saw you as an equal, not just my wife.”
“You had a shit way of showing it,” you spat back.
“Please, (Y/N), I love you and I…” he trailed off.
“What?”
“I got rid of them, the other women,” he said, “I let them go after you left.” You crossed your arms.
“Why?”
“Because what was the point? Not like I gave a shit about anyone but you. You were all I had left and then you… Jesus, how do I make it up to you?” You laughed, unable to believe what you were hearing.
“You think all this,” you gestured around you, “is some kind of reconciliation discussion? That we were going to kiss and make up? You really don’t think I haven’t been keeping up with what you and your Saviors have been up to?”
“So what? Are you going to kill me?”
“No, Negan, I’m not going to kill you,” you said softly as you leaned towards him, placing your hands on his thighs. “You’re my guest and will continue to be until I decide otherwise.” Negan looked in your eyes, your breath mingling with his.
“You can’t keep me here. What about my men?” Negan asked. You smiled.
“Well according to them and you, they’re all Negan. They stay too,” you said, grinning wider as he sneered. “Cheer up, Doll,” you said, giving him the old nickname he used to call you, “nobody is going to die. People are a resource, remember?”
“What happened to you?” he asked again quietly. You leaned closer, placing your lips at his ear.
“I stopped taking shit lying down,” you whispered to him. Leaning back, you looked him over again. “You came here to place me and my people under your boot, but it looks like your my bitch now.”
“(Y/N), please,” he rasped out.
“Face it, baby, you lost,” you said with a sweet smile. “Now,” you said, picking up Lucille and placing her back on your shoulder. “Are you going to kneel for your new Queen?”