Archive of Our Own ^beta

'Are you nervous?' 

Robbe jumps at the low voice of his boyfriend whispering in his ear. 

He was caught up in his own thoughts while staring at the huge hallway of the airport. 

At this early hour, the airport is as serene not as Robbe thought it would be. He was a bit ashamed to admit, but he had never flown before. He had never seen an airport from the inside. It wasn't what he expected, less busy and crowded even though summer had already started. 

He had expected screaming children, stressed parents, arrogant boomers, annoying already drunk teenagers, but there was none of that.

The people move with ease, quiet rivers of humanity freshly roused from their slumber. The floors are clean and white, reflecting the early rays and the manmade light the same.

It reminded Robbe of a shopping mall. 

There were two glass elevators leading to an upper floor which had the appearance of a food mall. And in the middle of several large open areas were blue fabric-covered seats. The air was cool and only the faint aroma of coffee coming down from the food area. Some stairs lead up to a viewing deck where young eager children watched the airplanes take off and land. There were mounted telescopes for them to look through and the back wall was one large window. Behind the telescopes was a scale model of the airport with the runways marked on it.

It was not what Robbe had expected at all. 

'Baby?' Sander stroked his arm. 

'Huh?' 

The older boy snorts 'not really awake yet? I told you we should have gone to bed early.'

Robbe rolled his eyes. 

It was indeed early. Their flight was at 8:00 AM, and Sander's parents insisted on leaving at least two hours early because of traffic. 

There was basically no traffic, so they were extremely early. 

Sander and Robbe were sitting next to a big window close to their gate. They had already passed security and checked in. 

Robbe didn't mind waiting, but his boyfriend was restless. 

The boy had forgotten to put his sketchbook and pencil in his hand luggage. 

Robbe had given his lover his own headphones so that Sander could listen to so music, but the boy was clearly done with it. 

He was constantly moving around, not sitting still for a second. 

Robbe had to give his all to prevent his boyfriend from getting his sixth coffee at the overpriced coffee bar in the airport.

A soft pinch in his side makes him lift his head. 

'Someone there?'

Sander knocks on the younger boy's forehead whole rolls his eyes again. 

'What were you saying?' 

The artist shifts a little bit closer. 

'I asked' Sander so closes that Robbe can feel the hot breath in his neck. 'If you were nervous?' 

'Why would I be nervous?' 

A smirk appears on Sander's face while he leans back again. 

'Well, there is a possibility that we are going to crash or that the oxygen runs out. Maybe the pilot gets a stroke or there some idiot with a knife.' 

'Or the plane is set on fire.' 

'Exactly, reasons enough to be nervous.'

'I am not nervous.' 

Robbe tries to sound confident even though Sander can read him like an open book. 

'It is okay, baby. I will protect you from angry clouds.' 

The younger boy snorts while scoffing his boyfriend. 

'I am really not scared.'

'Hmm, whatever helps you sleep at night which you are going to need.'

'What do you mean?' 

Sander sits up a little straighter in the big chair. 

'That you are not going to sleep a lot in the next two weeks.' 

Robbe's blush burned through his cheeks and his face felt like a hot oven. He suddenly felt awkward as he attempted to hide his rosy cheeks behind his skinny fingers while his boyfriend was winking. 

'We are going on vacation with your parents for god's sake' hissed Robbe.

'We have our own tent so that is going to be no problem.' 

Robbe shakes his head, that boy was unbelievable. 

He had never camped before, at least not in the past ten years. 

His mum and dad would always rent a cabin or something, but that had been ages ago as well. The last time was when Robbe was thirteen and let just say, it hadn't been fun at all. 

Robbe had been starstruck when Sander's parents asked him out of nowhere to join them on their annual Tenerife vacation. He had declined because he felt slightly awkward. There was no way his mother would let him go and how on earth was he going to pay for that? 

It wasn't until Sander started pouting, he reconsidered. The older boy had a talent for visualising his fantasies. The boy had sketched what the vacation would like. Swimming, ice cream, hot weather, sunsets, and most importantly: two weeks of just each other. 

Sander really tried to convince Robbe to join his and his family on their vacation so he had someone of his age to talk to. Sander was the youngest child out a family of five children. 

The artist had four older sisters. One of them lived on the Spanish island Tenerife and had her own camping. It was a tradition from the Driessen family to go there every year during the summer with the entire household, including grandchildren. 

Robbe had been baffled when he discovered that his boyfriend was already an uncle. He remembers going to Sander's house one day and founding his lover standing in the doorway holding a baby which had been an odd sight. 

It was just not something you would think by mysterious and rebellious Sander. 

But the older boy was fantastic with kids. His nieces and nephews absolutely adored him, especially when they were drawing together. 

Robbe fell in love with him a little bit more when they were babysitting one night. 

The boy was a natural. Robbe was surprised that he also enjoyed it. He had never really thought about having children. Actually, he never wanted children, but that was before Sander. 

But Sander wanted Robbe to come with him so that he could be introduced to the entire Driessen household, and of course to go vacation together. 

The boy had played it dirty and talked Robbe's mum who was slightly worried but wasn't against it. 

Sander had worked his charm to convince her. Robbe had been sitting head shaking on the couch. 

It was unbelievable how the boy did it. 

Money wasn't that big of an issue as Robbe assumed. Since they were staying on the camping of Sander's sister, it was very cheap. The only expensive thing was the flight. 

Sander's parents had offered to pay the flight, but Robbe didn't want to accept that. 

Luckily, his dad had offered to pay it when they were finally having dinner together so that problem had been solved as well. 

Robbe was very excited but slightly nervous. He had never been so far from home. Plus he was going with his boyfriend's family. What if it just didn't click? What if he and Sander got into a fight? What if something went wrong with his mother? 

But his own mother had calmed him down. They talked somethings through which made Robbe feel confident to leave for two weeks. 

So now he was sitting in the airport waiting for his flight. 

One sister of Sander was already there while the other one was coming in three days because she couldn't get off from work. 

It was crazy to Robbe that is boyfriend had such upgrown siblings. 

Sander was an offspring. 

He and his oldest sister were sixteen years apart. 

It explained a lot of Sander's behaviour though. 

The artist was used to be the centre of attention, the only boy, the youngest child and he fucking lives for it. He could be a spoiled bastard. 

'You ready, boys?' 

Sander's dad already dressed in a flower shirt paired with white trousers and open shoes was standing in front of them. Trolley suitcase in one hand and a newspaper in the other hand. 

Sander shakes his head in disbelief and horror when he sees his father wearing sandals with socks. 

'Just tell me why dad?'

The man looks down at his shoes. 

'It is cold on the plane because of the air condition' explains Sander father, Arnoud, rather defensively. 

'I tried to stop him, but you know how he gets. I already told him that he wasn't going to sit next to him on the plane.'  

Sander mother, Nicole, pinches her husband playfully in his side. 

Arnoud pinches his wife right back which causes a playful fight between them. 

'Can you two behave yourself? You are almost sixty for the love of God.'

Sander shakes his head, but a beautiful smile, which makes Robbe's stomach do a weird turn, appears on his face. 

Pieces of cloud scatter the ocean as if painted by an artistic hand gentle inflexions of the brush spreading white over blue.

The clouds move the whole time, flowing as sheets hundreds of feet apart, yet giving the appearance of one solid layer from the land below.

It is fascinating. 

Sander demanded that Robbe would sit next to the window since it was his first time flying. 

The flight was around four and a half-hour, but it was over in a blink. 

The nice view, Sander resting on him while drawing, the stupid games they played, looking at old pictures of themself, Robbe had enough to distract himself from the cramped position he was sitting in and the beep in his ears. 

It may sound cliche, but Robbe has never felt happier. He is going on vacation with his boyfriend and his boyfriend's amazing family, they have their own tent where they can do whatever they want, the weather predictions are great, what more can he wish for? 

The mountain rose on the horizon, sheer rock striking down from greeny peaks. Only the base was softened by the virescence of a pine blanket. An hour ago it had seemed so close, and now after flying down the highway at a hundred kilometres an hour it was just the same size. 

Robbe could never get bored of this scenery. Nothing came close, no tv, No computer, absolutely nothing. It was also a bonus that he was laying in his boyfriend's arms. 

Turns out that Robbe loves camping. 

They have been staying at the camping for a week now, and Robbe never wants to go home again. 

Waking up next Sander every day while enjoying the warmth of the sun shining down on their tent, being outside all the time, all the boardgames they were playing. It was just amazing. 

Sander's family was so incredibly nice and welcoming that Robbe never felt like a burden. 

Quite the opposite, he and Sander's sister would even team up against the artist. They claimed they were happy that Sander had is personal entertainment with a big wink towards Robbe. 

They had told all the embarrassing childhood stories of Sander who had actually started blushing. 

The age difference wasn't that much of a big deal. It just clicked between all of them. 

Then there were the nieces and the nephews who were always loud and overexcited. 

Robbe and Sander went away with them a lot. To the swimming pool (which scared Robbe at first because how could he watch all five of them at the same time? But it was kinda funny how easily he adapted), getting ice cream, grocery shopping, midget golf, to the playground, and even the mini disco where they played the same song like ten times in a row. 

In the evening during dinner, they would all eat together outside. A plate on your lap and your glass in the grass. 

Robbe loved it. 

Dinner time was always chaotic at the Driessen household, but he recognised so much Sander in all the people around him that he loved it. 

It felt like he was part of this big family. Sander chuckled when Robbe shared his thoughts one night. 

'Of course, you are part of my family, baby. You are with me now so you are with them as well.' 

'What are you thinking about, cutie?'

'Just how much I love being here with you' sighs Robbe with satisfaction while letting his head fall back against his boyfriend's chest. 

Sander kisses the younger boy's neck. 

'I wish we could freeze time.' 

'Me too, baby. Me too.' 

Robbe watches the sea, lost in the rhythmic collision of waves on sand. His eyes are steady to the horizon, face aglow with the last orange rays before twilight beckons the stars. 

He turns around so that he can look at his boyfriend. Sander's lips bear the semblance of a smile, just enough to show that he is enjoying his thoughts, whatever they may be. Robbe moves closer so that he can feel his lovers presence, yet stays quiet, allowing him to stay lost in the moment a while longer. 

It is incredible how quick Sander tans. The boy looked like he has spent an entire underneath a tanning bed. It made his green eyes stand out. 

Robbe always got a tan, but not nearly as much his boyfriend. What he did have, was the freckles on his nose which Sander loved. The boy always played this cheesy game where he would count them and then give Robbe the same amount of kisses all over his body which made the younger boy squirm and giggle. 

'Do you want to go for a swim' Sander asks while wiggling his eyebrows. 

'I knew you were going to ask that.' 

'Shit, I am getting predictable.'

The older boy leans in for a quick kiss before pulling Robbe up. 

'Let's go, baby!' 

Sander starts already undressing. 

'We are not going skinny dipping.' 

'But I love the feeling of you being naked pressed against me in the hot water.' 

The voice in his ear gives Robbe goosebumps, especially when a finger strokes teasingly over his v-line. 

'We are in fucking public.'

'So?' 

Robbe rolls his eyes and pushes the boy away. 

Sander gives him a small pout but leaves his swimming shorts on. 

The temperature of the sea is almost as hot as a shower. Robbe has seen a lot of seas since he loves to surf, but this sea is by far his favourite. The gentle waves scattered the evening sun like the sequins from Milan's new jacket. 

The water moves softly around them while the two boys are clinging on to each other. 

'There is nothing better than this' whispers Sander while brushing Robbe curls. 

'I love you.'

'I love you too, angel.'

'We are going to explore the island today.' 

Sander and Robbe are holding hands while standing in front of the caravan of Sander's parents. 

It was something they wanted to do as soon as they arrived. Sander wanted Robbe to show the hidden places he had discovered a few years ago. 

The boy claimed that it was going to be their places now. 

Sander suggested going today since everyone went to the beach and they had been at the beach enough to miss it for one day. It was also a clouded day anyway. 

'Have fun boys! Please be careful! ' 

Arnoud shouts back while trying to change the diaper of his youngest grandchild. 

Nicole lifts her head from the book that she is reading. 'There is going to be a storm later tonight so be home before dinner.' 

Sander gives them a thumbs up before dragging Robbe away from the camping. 

The muggy heat pressed in on them, even sweating was no good. It trickled down their necks and backs like warm soup. Hair clung to their heads like thermal blankets, locking in the heat, frying their brains. It was fucking hot, even though the sun was hiding behind the clouds.

Even though Sander didn't say anything, Robbe knew they were lost. 

He could see in the way his boyfriend was walking, looking around, scratching the back of his head, his eyebrows in a frown. 

'Baby? Everything alright?' 

'It is going fine, I am just choosing the tourist route.'

The boy gives him a wide grin, but his eyes don't cooperate. 

'Maybe it is better to turn around?' suggest Robbe. 

Sander shakes his head. 'It can’t be that far anymore.' 

The trees grow so thickly that there is no undergrowth at all. About their feet are only the browned remnants of branches and needles that have fallen in the recent high winds. If there is a path there Robbe can't see it, so instead, they are wending their way through the skinny trunks that grew so tall, racing for their share of the sun's rays. In places, they are so thickly clumped that they must alter his path or risk my backpack becoming wedged. The air has that smell of woodland before the rain, perhaps above the canopy, there are clouds fit to burst. It is dark for this time of day, so perhaps soon the filtered light will be accompanied by water droplets.

'I don't think this is the right way, Sander.' 

The older boy keeps walking firmly. 

‘Do you even know where we are?’ 

‘Kinda?’

‘Kinda? That sounds like we are lost so perhaps it is better to just calm down a little. Figure out where we are.’

'This forest has to end somewhere as soon as we see people, we are okay.' 

Robbe decides to ignore the way his boyfriend's voice sounds less confident every time he speaks. 

They have been walking around for hours and haven’t seen anyone. The sky is filled with grey clouds. 

Suddenly Sander stops walking causing Robbe to run into him. 

'Fuck it, we are going to call someone. Give me your phone, please.' 

'I don't have my phone with me? You said you brought yours!'

'I brought my camera so I asked if you could bring yours.' 

A feeling of panic runs through Robbe's body. They are in the middle of nowhere with no phones or anything. 

The bare branches pinned into the sky, no sign of life to be found anywhere. It was so dark they could barely see where they were going. There were only small sounds of rustling bushes and the howl of the wind. he canopy let no light filter through, it was completely dark. 

Sander groans with frustration while kicking a tree. 'We are so much fucking trouble.'

 Robbe tries to soothe his boyfriend 'we have to stay calm.'

The older boy takes a deep breath before nodding. 

'You are right, let's think about this. We came from that way so let's just walk that back.' 

'We came from that way?' 

'No, we didn't.'

Both boys stare each other realizing that they have to be careful now. Both of them are tired, thirsty, stressed, but they can't get into an argument now. 

'Maybe we should look for footprints' suggest Robbe. 

Turns out they were both wrong. They came from a totally different direction. 

Robbe doesn't know how long they have been walking for. Judging by the sun it is probably already past five. 

It makes him feel panicked. 

His throat his dry while their water bottles are already empty. They have no food left except for some Haribo gummy bears. 

He really tries not to think that way, but he can't stop himself.

It comes out of nowhere. 

One moment he was moving around the corner, his thoughts on everything but the ground, then he was falling. That part happens in slow motion every time and he recalls those split seconds of realising that there is pain to come and nothing that can be done about it.

He felt his arm snap before he hit the forest floor and rolling down a small hill. Glancing down he saw the shiny white of his humerus poking out below his shirt and he almost blacks out. 

The pain takes over a portion of his brain as if dealing with it is energy expenditure enough, without the effort of new thoughts. It doesn't help the situation at all. 

A soft yelp of pain escapes his lips

'Fucking hell, Robbe! Are you okay?'

Two hands try to get him up, but he can't feel his legs anymore. 

The pain was crippling his mind yet he knew he had to stay awake. He can't leave Sander with an unconscious boyfriend. 

Robbe doesn't dare to look, but judging by his lover who is cursing loudly, it isn't good. 

'Fuck Robbe' two green eyes stare at him helplessly. 

'I am okay' he tries to say, but there comes no sound out of his mouth. 

'I am okay' he repeats with a barely audible voice. 

'No, you are not, baby. Look at you!'

His boyfriend plops down next to him on the floor. 

'Just give me a few seconds, and I will be alright.' 

Sander holds his other hand and strokes his gently. 

'Can you help me get up?'

Robbe rose unsteadily on to his feet, fully leaning on Sander. He tried not to look at his shoulder, afraid of what he might see. The pain is horrible. It makes him want to scream. 

He breathes heavily while trying to take a step. He can't feel his legs at all. His entire body is shaking while grabbing onto his boyfriend. 

'Robbe, this isn't going to work at all.'

Sander guides him a slowly as he can back down to a three. 

Both boys are panting. It takes a while before they start talking again. 

'So what do we do now? breathes Robbe.

Sander just shakes his head. 

'This is my fault.'

'Baby-'

'It is, Robbe. If I just admitted that I had no clue I was going from the start then-'

'Well, If we chose a different path, this wouldn't have happened. If we went on another day this wouldn't have happened. If I hadn't joined on this vacation in the first place, this would never have happened. If we had never met this wouldn't have happened. Stop blaming yourself for things you can't control.'

Robbe pauses for a second. 

'I think it is best if you go further and look for help.'

'Never.' 

'Sander-'

'No.'

Robbe sighs. 

'It is for the best.' 

Sander just shakes his head. 

'Just leave me behind and get help, Sander! It is not that deep. It is the only option right now. I can't walk and we can't stay here forever. We have no idea where we are and we have no idea if people are looking for us!'

'I am not leaving you behind.' 

Sander's eyes were spitting fire. 

Robbe shakes his head in frustration. 

'You can come back later with help. It is not a big deal.' 

'It is a big deal. What if you faint? What if some wild animal attacks you? No way that I am leaving you behind.' 

Sander sits down next to him rather aggressive. 

'Please think rational now.' 

The older boy shakes his head. 'I am thinking rational and the thought of leaving you makes me want to throw up and I think throwing up isn't that good of an idea.'

Robbe throws his head back against the tree. 

'Sander-'

'No.'

'Please-'

'Never-'

'Can-'

'I am staying.'

'Let me talk for god's sake.'

Sander gives him a teasing smile. 

'You can talk all you want, but I am not going anywhere without you so you might as well save the energy.'

'This is not funny.'

'You think I think this funny? I want to fucking ball my eyes out right now. God knows what is going on with you! You might be dying while we are sitting around waiting for help!' 

'I am not dying.' 

'Well, you clearly are in pain and there is nothing I can do about it.'

Robbe opens his mouth, but Sander has already interrupted him. 

'No, leaving you won't help you at all.'

'Fucking hell, how did we get here?' 

Sander snorts 'this is not what I had expected for today.' 

He lets his head fall. 

'Fuck, I thought we were going to fuck underneath a waterfall.' 

Robbe can't help but chuckle lightly. 

'Well, this must be a disappointment then.'

'Being with you is never a disappointment.'

'I love you.'

I love-'

Sander is being interrupted by a loud sound. 

The boom rolled across the valley, announcing the start of what the brooding cloud layer had promised since dawn.

Black clouds sprawl across the sky, billowing in from the west. Their brassy glare drains the colour from houses and trees and burnished cars in driveways, leaving neighbourhoods tinted bronze in the faltering light. The air grows heavy and the humidity presses down, suffocating. The scent of rain is dark and heady. A stillness falls over the woods, and in the silence comes a low crackle of thunder, rolling across rooftops to the patterning of tiny raindrops. For a moment, everything stops. Even the wind holds its breath. A streak of hot silver splits the sky, and the downpour begins.

They both were soaked in not even a split second. 

Another hot silver splits. 

'Fuck we need to get away from the trees.' 

Sander lifts his boyfriend as gently as he can, but a yelp of pain escapes Robbe's lips.

'We are in a fucking forest, baby.'

'I know' Sander sounds panicked now which is not a good thing. Panicked Sander was one Robbe had never seen before and he wishes he never has to. 

'It is going to be okay, baby. We have to stay calm.' 

'Stay calm? You want me to stay calm when we are surrounded by trees is the fucking middle of nowhere while there is a thunderstorm going on? I don't know if you have noticed but you are badly injured as well to make the situation even better.' 

'Frankly enough I have noticed.' 

Sander rolls his eyes while dragging Robbe with him. 'This is not the time to be a smartass.' 

Robbe wants to scream. His shoulder is on fire while his knees feel like they are going to give in any second. 

'Wait, I can't-' 

'I am sorry, baby. We have to right now.' 

Sander drags him practically over they muddy ground. The mud is pitted and without a single print, just the same as it is after snowfall but deep brown.

Another lighting bolt light up the sky. Sander curses underneath his breath. 

Suddenly Robbe sees some rocks in the distance. He tries to speak, but the thunder is so loud he can't even hear himself think. 

Luckily Sander had seen it too. 

The cavern wormed its way half a mile into a hill. Its general shape was ovoid, the walls below the ridge smoothly curved to the floor, the walls above arched another hundred feet up to giant stalactites and the bat roosts.

Robbe shivered when they entered the small cave. 

Sander pressed against him was the only thing he could place. 

They were searching blindly for the wall so that they could lean against it.

The ground was cold and wet. It was so fucking dark that he saw nothing.

The only light was from the small entrance. Robbe let his head rest on his boyfriend's shoulder. 

'We are so fucked.' 

He can feel his lover nod. 

Robbe doesn't know for how long they sit there in silence. Listing to the thunder and the rain hammering down, shivering while pressing their bodies together. He tries so hard not to pass out. The pain in his shoulder is getting worse every minute. 

'I used to be afraid of thunder you know' Sander suddenly says. 

'That doesn't surprise me one bit.' It takes some effort to talk, but Robbe is happy with every single distraction. 

Sander scoffs at his boyfriend. 

'What do you mean by that?'

The boy across him shrugs. 'You seem like the type of child that is afraid of thunder. The kind that runs to there mother when they hear a loud boom. Also, it is kinda ironic because of the whole David Bowie thing.' 

'I used to run to my mother.'

'What did your mother do?'

'She used to tell me this story.'

'Tell me'

'I am not sure I remember it.'

'Anything to distract me right now.'

Sander shifts slightly causing Robbe to bit his tongue not to scream in pain. 

'In a storm, it can be tough to recall the light, hard to see the temporary nature of such beasts. When the raging deluge is closer to your skin than the air, when it thunders louder than any bird could ever sing and pushes harder than boat sweeps in the sea waves - it can only burn itself out. Storms come across as knife and coffin yet they are neither, they are more as the tough love. Storms always want to be loved. You must learn to shelter through the gales, seek refuge in the rage, yet do reflect and embrace the gifts we can discover when it vanishes, that's when we find new chances to flourish, to make something good after its passing.'

'She told you that as a child?'

'Not those words.' 

It stays silent for a second.

'I have always associated myself with a storm.'

Robbe searches for his boyfriend's hand in the dark. Sander intertwines their fingers. 

'I don't know. Just the damage it can do.' 

A pain in Robbe's chest appears that has nothing to do with his shoulder. 

'Baby-' 

'I know, but do you get what I mean? Like it mostly hurting itself.'

It takes Robbe a few seconds to understand what his boyfriend means.

'You mean like a storm is caused by mother nature and it hurts mother nature?'

The other boy squeezes his hand. 'In some way, yeah. Something I just get so angry or sad that I am like a whirlwind and destroy everything I love only to build it up by myself again.'

'I have always loved storms. It made me feel safe.'

Sander shifts slightly, putting an arm around Robbe. 'Can you explain?' 

'Storms are something beautiful. Storms are like an intense song. The instruments determined to sing out, the trees and grasses as their percussion. Even the rain joins with an organised rhythm, appearing as the master of the scene yet arriving on unheard cue. I don't know if that makes sense.' 

'That makes sense' Sander whispers while stroking Robbe's skin softly. 

'That makes sense to me.' 

Robbe can't stop shivering. His clothes are wet and the floor is absolutely freezing. He can't feel his ass and legs anymore. When his teeth start to shatter Sander intervenes. 

'Can you move slightly forward?'

The boy next to him stands him while helping his boyfriend move. 

Robbe bites his lip not to scream. 

Sander takes places behind Robbe and slowly pulling the boy back so that he can rest on the older boy's chest. 

'How are you feeling?'

'It is fine.' 

'Baby.'

'I have felt better before.' 

Sander mutters something. 

'How are you feeling.' 

'I am okay, just very thirsty and hungry.' 

'Me too.' 

'Do you think we can drink rain?' 

Robbe can't help but snort. 

'I am serious.' 

'I know, I am sorry. Euhh, maybe we can catch in a big leave or something?' 

'Where are we getting a big leave from?'

'I don't know.' 

'Maybe in the forest?'

Sander attempts to stand up, but Robbe pulls him down. 'You are not going to the forest alone. There is still a thunderstorm going on.'

'Just real quick.' 

Robbe shakes his head while grabbing his boyfriend's arms. 

'Don't leave me alone, please.'

He hates how pathetic his voice sounds, but it works. 

Sander lets out a loud sigh and wraps his arms a little tighter around his boyfriend small body. 

'Robbe, I want you to know that if I have to die now, this is the way I want to die.'

'We are not going to die.'

'I know, but just let me say this.' 

'Sander, seriously we-'

'Shh, If I have to die I want to die while holding you or you holding me. Staring in your brown eyes one more time just to get lost again, to feel your warm skin touching, look at the beautiful necklace that just looks so stunning on you, hear you whisper to me softly telling me that everything is going to be okay, that is all I would want. 

Should this be the last thing I see,

I want you to know it's enough for me, cause all that you are is all that I'll ever need.'

Robbe honestly doesn't know what to say. 

Two green eyes filled with love and passion are staring at him. The only thing coming to his mind is how beautiful Sander looks in the dusk. It intensifies his already bright eyes. 

His breath falters lightly when Sander starts stroking his face. 

Robbe lifts himself so that he can lean into Sander's touch. 

The older boy starts to trace Robbe's upper lip who closes his eyes, feeling overwhelmed at the love his boyfriend is giving him. 

'Can you kiss me, please?'

Robbe opens one eye slightly to look at his lover that is leaning in. He can see Sander's face a bit better since he got used to seeing in the darkness. 

As a small but teasing smile crept upon his face, goosebumps lined his skin, not the kind than one gets in the cold, but the kind one gets when nothing else matters except right here, right now.

It fills Robbe's stomach with butterflies. 

The rest of his world became an unimportant blur that was banished into the far recesses of his mind. The only thing that mattered was touching Sander more, kissing his mouth, cupping his cheek, pulling his hair. 

Robbe could feel how Sander tried to be gentle with him. Putting no pressure on the younger boy's body. It makes him feel warm on the inside. 

Robbe isn't sure if he has slept that night. 

Things are a bit hazy and blurry. Sander's breathing had been steady and slow which was the only thing that kept him from freaking out. 

Robbe was pretty sure that there animals with them in the cave, but he wasn't sure. 

He has seen strange things which can be dreams or hallucinations. It scared him. He was happy when the storm finally passed and the sun slowly started to rise.

It made him feel hopeful. 

Surely Sander's family had missed them so they would probably come looking for them. 

How big was this island anyway? The same size as Luxembourg? 

It wouldn't take long before they would be found. Maybe by some other hikers. 

'How are you feeling?' 

Sander voice was as low and cracked as every morning while the older boy slowly rubbed Robbe's cramped arms. 

'I don't know. It still hurts.' 

'Well, you have a giant wound in your shoulder, and I think you have broken something so that doesn't surprise me.'

Sander hesitates for a second. 

'Maybe I should look at it.'

The older boy wasn't a hero when it came to wounds and blood. Usually, Robbe was the one dealing with it. 

But they needed to know how bad it really was so Sander ripped Robbe shirt as gently as he could. The problem was that the wound and the shirt were sticking onto each other.

Robbe didn't dare to look so he just stared at his boyfriend who was swallowing loudly. 

'Is it bad?' 

Sander rubs his eyes. 'Not that bad' his voice cracks. 

Robbe takes a deep breath before looking down. If there was something in his stomach, it would have come out. 

The mud and grit had become enmeshed with raw pink flesh and was spotted with blood. One thing was for sure, it was going to be very painful to clean and Robbe's money was on it getting infected too. 

His shoulder was standing in a weird position. 

'Fucking hell.'

'What are we going to do? You need help as soon as possible.' 

Sander bites his lip, staring at the wound. 

'Maybe just get out this bloody cave first and then we will see. This is a famous hiker forest, right? Surely we have to come across someone.'

Robbe couldn't steady his voice. All sort of images were going through his head right now. Maybe they needed to chop his arm off. 

Suddenly a cold hand is being pressed against his forehead. 

'I think you are burning up.' 

'That is not good' sighs Robbe. 

'No shit, Sherlock' the voice of his boyfriend cracks again. 

Sander's eyes are filled with tears. 

'Baby, it is going to be fine. I promise you.'

The boy shakes his head. 'This is my fault.'

Robbe tries to reach out with his other arm. 'We have already discussed this. It is not your fault. You didn't do anything.'

'That is the fucking problem! I should do something, but I don't know what! I study art for god's sake.'

'It is okay. We are going to fine. Your parents are coming to find us.'

'Do you have any idea how big this forest is? We didn't even tell them where we were going! How are they ever going to find us?' 

Robbe strokes the hand of his boyfriend, trying to calm him down. 

'This is not a big island. I am sure they are getting help from the police or something.'

'Don't you have to be like 24 hours missing before they intervene?'

'Not when there is a minor involved or nature. Believe me, baby. They have their ways to find people. It is only a matter of time.'

'Why haven't they found us yet?'

'Probably because of the storm. Can you please help me out of this bloody cave?'

Sander sighs but pulls him up as gently as he can. Robbe's entire body feels stiff and he can't stand on his legs. It hurts like hell, but being outside is a lot better. 

Robbe wants to sit down on a big rock, but Sander pulls him further. 

'It is not smart to sit in the sun, because you are already burning up. 

Sander drops him down next to a tree in the shadow. The floor is still slightly damp, reminding Robbe of his throat that is hurting. 

He licks his lips, trying to wet his mouth that feels like paper. 

'Maybe I should look around to see if there is a brook or something' Sander squads down in front of him with a worried expression. 

'I won't go far, I promise' the boy adds. 

Robbe's head is pounding and he doesn't really understand what his boyfriend is saying. 

The birds are singing so loud.

He tries to take a deep breath. He has to hold on just a little bit longer. 

'Baby?' 

Sander strokes his boyfriend's hand. 

'Yeah, just not too far.' 

The older boy gives him a quick peck before turning around. 

Robbe knows that he on the verge of fainting when his stomach gives in. It felt like his innards were being replaced by some kind of black hole. Then nausea crept from his abdomen to his head and the world slowly black.

He gagged, but nothing comes out. 

The violent shake through his body makes him want to scream. 

A tear rolls down his cheek when the pain in his shoulder gets worse. 

Robbe closes his eyes while fighting the darkness. He has to stay awake for Sander. 

' Hola chico' a middle-aged man wearing a uniform and holding a dog on a leech approaches him. 

'Robbe or Sander?'

The man speaks with a thick accent. 

'Robbe' he manages to bring out while squeezing his eyes. 

'Está bien, it is okay. Everything is going to be fine.' 

The man mutters something through some sort of device while squatting down next to Robbe, inspecting the wound. 

'Oh querido' The man shakes his head. He mutters something again. 

'bebe chico' the man hands him a bottle of water. 

Robbe can hear other people approaching and he knows that it going to be alright. 

'Where is Sander?' The man has a friendly voice. 

Robbe manages to point into the direction his boyfriend walked. 

'Is he hurt as well?' 

The dog is sitting down next to Robbe. It calms him down. 

'No, he is just thirsty.'

The man gives him a soft pad while standing up. 'It is going to be fine. Todo estará bien.'