Work Text:
Alex woke up to the sound of soft snores and he inwardly cringed. Fuck. This was the third time this week. He just didn’t know how to say no, and he certainly wasn’t going to kick the man out. The lines were so blurred he was starting to get dizzy.
He took a deep breath and climbed out of the bed, grabbing his crutch and walking to the bathroom. He started the shower and stood in front of the sink while he waited for the water to warm up. He looked at himself in the mirror and shook his head. What a weak ass piece of shit he was. He sighed and turned to get in the shower, sitting down in the seat he kept there.
His eyes were closed as tipped his head back into the water, but he could still hear the bathroom door and the shower door click open.
“Mind if I join?”
And how the fuck was Alex supposed to say no to that? He was such a masochist. His head nodded yes of its own accord.
Strong hands fell onto his shoulders and he felt scruff scratch at the back of his neck as Michael placed kisses along it. His stomach clenched. This wasn’t even fair anymore. His head rolled to the side to give Michael more access. He felt Michael’s lips turn to a smile as he continued to lick and kick Alex’s neck.
“What time do you have to be on base?” Michael asked, voice gruff from sleep and arousal.
“In 40 minutes,” Alex answered, his breathing heavy now.
“Damn,” Michael whispered. “Guess I’ll have to be quick.”
-
“Want to grab dinner at the Crashdown tonight?” Michael asked him as they walked out of Alex’s house and to their trucks.
“Uh, yeah, sure. I should be off around 6,” Alex answered, locking the front door behind them.
Michael gave him a quick kiss and hopped into his truck. “7 work, then? Give you enough time to come back and change out of your uniform?”
Alex nodded. “7 o’clock.”
He watched as Michael smiled in acknowledgment and backed out of his driveway, driving off. They had been doing the friend thing for a few months, now, pretty successfully. They grabbed lunches and dinners at the Crashdown, beers at the Wild Pony. They sometimes sat around the fire at one of their houses and drank and talked about their days. Michael would tell him about progress toward figuring out what to do with Mr. Jones. Alex would sometimes talk about his last deployment. It was easy.
Until about a month ago, when they had gotten way too drunk with Max (who was painfully nursing his broken heart after Liz had still not returned his calls) and one thing had led to another and they had fucked on Alex’s kitchen floor, too eager to even make it to his bedroom. Since then, Michael had been coming over on the regular, ripping him apart and slowly putting him back together, spending the goddamned night in his bed, and then going back to normal the next morning. And Alex, the glutton for punishment that he was, couldn’t say no.
He was thankful that, at least, Michael hadn’t insisted they go back to the Airstream, because if he was being honest, Alex wasn’t sure he could have sex there ever again. Not after what happened with Maria. It was tainted, now. And he couldn’t handle that.
So, here he was. Having a ‘friends with benefits’ situation with the love of his life. And they weren’t even talking about it. There was never a discussion about it. They just kept being friends in the day and fucking in the night and Alex kept drinking it all up, whatever Michael would give him, because he was as thirsty as a shipwreck survivor lost at sea and he would take any drop of fresh water Michael would provide, trying not to think about what he was going to do when it was done. Because it would be done. Michael would remember he didn’t want this, and he would leave, and it would hurt like hell. So, instead, Alex took whatever it was Michael was offering and he was prepared to fucking drown in it if he had to.
-
“Got your regular. With extra fries for your milkshake,” Michael told him as Alex slid into the booth across him.
Alex nodded and apologized again for being late. Michael shook his head and insisted he didn’t care. Michael had, as always, sat with his back to the front of the diner, remembering that Alex preferred to have eyes on the exits. It did something to Alex’s heart that he didn’t want to acknowledge. He licked at his bottom lip and forced himself to look out at the diner instead of at Michael’s perfect face.
Alex offered a smile of hello when he saw old man Sanders walk into the diner. He nodded his greeting back, and proceeded towards the counter. Michael turned in his seat to see who Alex was looking at, and grinned. He gave Alex a look before getting up from the booth and walking over to the old man.
He could hear bits and pieces of the conversation and it made him smile. Sanders was teasing Michael, insisting Michael buy his meal and Michael joking back that he’d have to start getting paid in order to afford fancy things.
“Honestly, I think you should be buying our meal, it’s not exactly fair that my boyfriend has to buy me so much food, since my boss won’t even pay me minimum wage,” Michael was saying with a smirk.
And Alex’s heart stopped.
Boyfriend? Boyfriend? Boyfriend? Huh. Yeah none of that made sense.
What the fuck? Was Michael just being an asshole? Well, yeah, that was a given, but about the boyfriend comment? Were they boyfriends? No. Right? Michael was always throwing these huge deep words at him whenever something big happened. He would have said something if he wanted to actually be with Alex, right? He would have said something crazy and romantic and hurricane-inducing if he wanted to be Alex’s boyfriend, right?
He was still spinning when their waitress brought over their food. He was still stuck on stutter when Michael returned and slid into the booth, stealing a fry from Alex’s plate- despite the mountain of fries on his own- and popping it into his mouth. He was pretty sure he had officially lost it. Whatever it was. Wait, what did that even mean? Who was he?
“Alex?”
Michael had made it so clear in so many ways that he didn’t want to be with Alex anymore. That Alex wasn’t good for him. Alex was a Manes and Manes men had hurt Michael. They had killed his mother and tortured his people. They had destroyed his only chance of going home. Michael didn’t want to be with him. He had heard wrong. This thing they were doing, it was starting to fuck with his head. Maybe it was starting to fuck with Michael’s, too, maybe that’s why he thought they were boyfriends.
He was such an idiot. He had thought he could just have Michael, in whatever ways Michael could give him. But obviously, he was wrong. His brain couldn’t handle that. His brain wanted to pretend that cosmic meant that they were going to be together someday. But Michael had spent the better part of a year ensuring Alex knew that they wouldn’t be- that they couldn’t and shouldn’t be- before leaving the fucking bar in the middle of Alex’s song.
This was so fucked.
His body slid out of the booth before he could stop himself. He started for the door, but Michael’s hand was on his arm spinning him around to be face-to-face again. Wasn’t this familiar.
“Alex. Where are you? Where are you right now? Where'd you go?” Michael was saying quietly, hands framing Alex’s face, thumbs rubbing at his cheeks.
And Alex could feel his heart rate start to normalize again. He could hear that he was breathing fast, so he took a deep breath to slow it back down. He met Michael’s eyes and saw the worry there.
“You okay?” Michael whispered.
After a moment, Alex was able to nod. Michael leaned forward and kissed Alex’s forehead. Alex’s eyes closed and he was surprised when he felt a tear roll down his cheek. Michael wiped it away with his thumb. Alex looked around them to get his bearings again, only to find a diner full of eyes looking at them. Still facing Alex, Michael took out his wallet and put some money on their table. He grabbed Alex’s hand tightly and started to lead them out of the diner, when Arturo called for them, running out to hand Michael a bag and a to-go cup.
Alex distantly heard Michael thank the man, before they walked outside.
“My truck. We will come back for yours in the morning,” Michael directed, and Alex wanted to protest but couldn’t find the energy, so he did as he was told.
The ride back to Alex’s was quiet, but Michael never let go of Alex’s hand and Alex never forced it, enjoying it all too much.
-
“You ready to tell me what happened?” Michael asked as he finished the last of the fries. He looked at Alex carefully as he chewed and then sat back in his seat and folded his arms over his chest. Alex took a deep breath and bit at his bottom lip.
“I heard you tell Sanders I was your boyfriend,” Alex told him, deciding he might as well be honest.
Michael sighed and lifted his hand, floating two beers in from the kitchen, opening them, and handing one to Alex who took it gratefully. “And?”
He tried to organize his thoughts for a minute. He stood up from the sofa and motioned to the front door in question. Michael nodded and they walked outside, sitting down in chairs across from one another.
“I didn’t know I was your boyfriend,” Alex admitted.
Michael’s eyebrows shot up into his hairline. An incredulous smile crept up on his lips. “What did you think this was, then?”
Alex shook his head and looked off to the side, trying to find his words. “I was trying not to think about it too much. Just enjoying what you were willing to give me while you felt like it.”
“Jesus,” Michael said and he groaned. “You think I was just trying to hurt you? Dangling a relationship over your head until I got bored?”
“No, Michael, I-"
“I love you, Alex.”
All the air was sucked out of him. What was happening? Was this some fever dream? What did he have to do to stay in it and never wake up?
“I know we didn’t really establish whatever it is we’ve been doing, but I thought at least that much was obvious. I don’t want to hurt you. I want to be with you.”
Oh.
“Oh.” He was looking into Michael’s eyes, wet and red, but brimming with devotion and honesty and…love. “I thought-"
“It doesn’t matter what you thought, anymore, Alex. It matters what you want.”
Alex swallowed hard. Then he steeled himself, pressing his lips together and looking Michael in the eye. “I want to be with you, too.”
Michael smiled and tears started to fall down his face.
“I love you, Michael.”
Michael chuckled and stood up, walking over to Alex and pulling him up from his seat. He wrapped his arms around Alex’s middle and Alex wrapped his around Michael’s neck and they held one another tightly. Alex kissed Michael’s ear and Michael burried his face further into Alex’s neck.
“Will you be my boyfriend, now?” Michael mumbled and Alex couldn’t help the laugh that stumbled out.
“I thought I already was.”
It was Michael’s turn to laugh. He pulled away to face Alex, sliding his hands up to cup his face again. “I mean, I did too, for like the last month. Just wanted to make sure this time.”
Alex nodded and then reached up to grab Michael’s hand, wrapping it in his own and leading them inside.
The next morning, when Alex woke up to the warmth and soft snoring of the man beside him in bed, he snuggled closer and whispered a soft “I love you,” heart skipping a beat when he heard it mumbled back.