Work Text:
There was someone Shinra liked.
----
“Hey, Shinra.”
“Hmm?”
“Do you have anyone you like?”
“Wha-?” He responded, startled. “Don’t be stupid, your heart only belongs to yourself.”
That day the two of them had been assigned to cleaning duty on the roof, where out of nowhere, Arthur had sprung the question. He’d been sweeping a ball of dust up into the bin, like it was nothing out of the ordinary. Shinra on the other hand, had stopped mid-movement, a look of disbelief on his face, before answering in a slightly hysteric voice.
“Hey, no slacking off,” commented Arthur offhandedly
“Ah, my bad...wait a sec, you’re the one who distracted me!”
“All I did was ask you a question.”
“No, I mean, yeah, I guess so...”
Shinra’s face twisted in confusion, his mouth setting into a look displeasure, while he adjusted the grip he had on the broom. Arthur, meanwhile, realizing he wouldn’t be getting a straightforward answer from the other boy, leaned forward while tilting his head in Shinra’s direction.
“So, that’s a no?”
“What’s with you all of a sudden? Why do you care?”
Up until that point it been silent between the two of them, neither saying a word as they continued to clean. Leave it to Arthur to come up with the most absurd thing to suddenly ask someone. Just what was he after?
“Maki made a comment the other day. She said that I seemed like I didn’t have anyone I liked.” Arthur murmured as he shifted the broom in his hands aimlessly, while staring down at a pile of dust.
Ah, that explains it. But even so, what proof did Maki have to base that off of?
“So, if I don’t have anyone I like, I thought it’s only natural that you wouldn’t either...right?” He concluded.
For all the smack Arthur gave him earlier for stopping, there he was, unmoving with eyes fixed on his. Being starred at like that makes him feel weak, like he had no choice but to answer with the truth. It made Shinra want to run away, but since he couldn’t, he stared down at his feet.
“I mean...maybe, maybe not...who knows?” Shinra said instead.
“What’s with that half-assed response? Pick one.” Arthur says as picks up his broom and points it at Shinra, like a knight brandishing a sword on some grand quest. The raven-haired boy coughed and waved away the dust that flies off the broom, as Arthur’s eyes continue to stare Shinra down unapologetically.
For a second Shinra is lost in their deep blue. Bluer than the sky itself, and wonder, what if he told him there was someone he liked? Would he act disappointed? Would those eyes waver?
“...There is. Someone I like, that is.”
“What? Even a devil like you has someone they like?” Arthur said with a scowl. Just what kind of answer was he expecting? And wasn’t it rude to just assume that he wouldn’t have anyone because the blonde didn’t?
“So, who is it?” He asked without a moment of hesitation. A normal individual would hesitate when asking these kinds of questions, but this was Arthur, Arthur who lived in a different sort of reality.
“...Shinra?”
Arthur looked completely unfazed at hearing that. But maybe anyone would be that way. Even himself. But, what if Shinra were to tell him who? How would he react? The raven-haired boy meets the others eyes and sees that quizzical look on his face. Despite his better judgement, Shinra has always had a week spot for that face, it made him like him even more. A gentle breeze blows on the roof, bringing a moment of calm. In that moment he takes a deep breath to calm his nerves before making a decision.
“It’s you.” And just so there wouldn’t be any misunderstanding, he added this time more forcefully, “The person I like, is you, Arthur.”
The second the words leave Shinra’s mouth, the broom Arthur had been pointing at him slowly lowers, letting a feeling of dread sink in. A cowardly voice in the back of his head tells him that he still has time to play it off as a joke, say it was all a lie. He could maybe even make fun of Arthur for believing it all.
“Wha...?” Maybe he was just imagining things, but Arthur’s face looks suspiciously red.
The sound of footsteps coming closer can be heard before the door to the roof slams open and a loud voice shouts, “Shinra, Arthur! Just how long are you going to spend cleaning?!” The lieutenant appears from behind as he grabs them by the shoulder, “It’s time for dinner.”
“R-Right! Sorry!” Shinra stammered
“Make it quick,” He says with another pat on the shoulder before disappearing down the staircase again.
Shinra snaps back to reality before quickly sweeping the collected dust into the dustpan before turning to Arthur. Seeing that the other boy is still slightly dazed, he scoops up Arthur’s pile as well.
“Earth to Arthur! Let’s go!”
“A-ah, yeah.” The moment Shinra had called out to him he had expected the other to give him another quizzical look, but Arthur’s face was back to normal. Had he imagined it earlier?
-----------
A week had passed since that day, and Shinra was positive that he was being ignored. Arthur, who was so horrible at getting up in the morning that it had become Shinra’s job to get him out of bed, had somehow suddenly developed a habit of being up and out before Shinra even cracked open an eyelid in the morning. Or at night, when he would slip into the room right as Shinra was on the brink of sleep. Or even during meals, when Arthur would eat somewhere else completely. Or during office hours, when he refused to meet Shinra’s gaze. The only time he ever made any kind of contact with Shinra was when they were out on a mission, but even that was stressed.
Shinra had heard stories like this, of people who confessed to their friends because they thought it was safe, only to be completely ignored in the end because the other person felt uncomfortable with it all. He himself had been weary of it too, and that’s why he’d stayed silent for so long.
“Way to go idiot,” Shinra huffed to himself and he let out a sigh in his empty room. What a strange and terrifying thing it was to like someone. It was like you no longer belonged to yourself. An exhilarating high of the most horrifying feelings. In the end, he guessed there was no avoiding it, that those feeling were going to rear their ugly head sometime. Better sooner than later.
“Why did I ever fall for him...?” Was the one thought that repeated over and over in his head all week. And while he wanted to work this all out, there was nothing he could do, so it was pointless stressing over it.
Thinking back on it, the day before they graduated training school, Shrinra realized that he had never gotten any of Arthur’s contacts, and for some reason, when he imagined a future without Arthur in it, his heart ached a little. Is that what he imagined loneliness felt like?
Then to add to it, on the day of the graduation ceremony, Arthur was as popular as ever, despite the fact that he was an idiot. One of the younger girls had come up to him, asking for the second button on his uniform, and without understanding what it meant, tore it off and handed it over to her. That’s when Shinra finally stepped in said something.
“Oh, it’s you devil.”
“Hero. I’m a hero.”
“No, you’re a devil.”
Always the same exchange. “Always ignoring what other people say”, Shinra thought as his eyes landed on the opening in Arthur’s uniform.
So you gave your button away, huh?” Shinra asked.
“Heading a fair maiden’s request is a knight’s job, no?” Arthur answered without missing a beat.
“Are you for real? ...You do know that she only asked because she likes you, right?” Shinra countered.
“Is that so?” Arthur said, tilting his head slightly in confusion. It was obvious he had no idea what was going on.
Shinra, in a moment of pity, decided to spell it out for him, “The second button is closest to your heart. So giving it to someone means they’ve captured your heart.”
“What?! That button has such a terrifying power? Then, that fair maiden was really a enemy ogre out to get me...!?” He babbled in disbelief.
Sometimes it amazed Shinra just how stupid Arthur could be. Here they were, about to graduate, and he was still carrying on with these antics. Taking some pity on the poor girl who had falsely been accused of being an ogre, Shrina made the decision to break it down even further.
“Idiot. She’s not trying to steal your heart, she wants your feelings.”
“My feelings? But my feelings belong to me.”
Of all the times for him to get deep and philosophical. Shinra took a deep breath before trying one more time, “No, that’s not what...”
“Then... give me yours.” Arthur demanded out of nowhere.
“What?!” Shinra stammered as Arthur pointed his rolled up diploma at him like a sword. Did he not listen to a word he just said?
“It’s obvious isn’t it? You’re a devil, so you have a devil’s heart. It’s a knight’s duty to slay the devil.” He said matter- of- factly.
All Shinra could do was stare. He knew Arthur was an idiot, but he didn’t realize just how much of an idiot he was. Then, without warning, the other reached out and snatched the button right off of Shinra’s uniform. More like a pillaging bandit than a chivalrous knight.
“Now you belong to me.” Arthur proudly declared as he held the button up towards the sun and smiled at it.
Shinra had seen that ridiculous, goofy smile on his face countless times, and yet, in that moment if felt different. Part of him wished what Arthur had said was true. He wished he could always be on the receiving end of the other boy’s smiles. It was almost like he liked...
“Shinra? You ok? You’re making a weird face.”
“It’s nothing...”
That’s it. He liked Arthur. Shinra Kusakabe liked Arthur Boyle. What a time for self-discovery, when this would be the last time they saw each other. Shinra rubbed the spot where the button had been. Despite the open hole, and the chill that he expected, he felt warm. Maybe he was just saved by the warmth of a sunny, spring day.
What was he going to do with this epiphany? He had no idea where Arthur would be transferred to, but suspected that wherever it was, those people where going to have their work cut out for them. Besides, it was the last day of training, their graduation ceremony. Now wasn’t the time to confess such a thing, and even if he did, it was likely to make it awkward between them.
-----
“I guess that part hasn’t really changed...” thought Shinra. “I really need to do something about this.”
The others were starting to notice Arthur’s weird behavior. Just this morning Maki asked him if the two of them had gotten into some kind of fight. Even Shinra didn’t really know what was going on. Were they fighting? Either way, if he didn’t confront the issue soon it was likely to cause more problems. “I’m the one that started it all, so I need to be the one to fix it.”
Despite being the cause of all of this, he really had no idea how to go about fixing it. But sitting around like this wasn’t going to get anything done, so Shinra took in a deep breath and finally pulled himself up off the bed and out of the room. As he walked down the hall, he bumped into none other than Arthur as he was coming out of the shower room.
“Hey...”
“Oh, it’s you devil...” Arthur’s voice was normal enough, but he still refused to look Shinra in the face.
“About the thing on the roof...” Shinra started, but as soon as the words left his mouth Arthur visibly tensed, on guard, and face set into a frown. “Ah, no, I’m not looking for a response or anything, but I just think that we should put it behind us and act more...normal.” He said. Then to add to it he tried to explain how Maki was also starting to get worried, when Arthur grabbed him by his collar and yanked him forward.
“And whose fault do you think that is...?!”
“Fighting again?” Asked Obi as he came to stand besides the boys. He took in Arthur’s stance, and the way his eyebrows were pinched in anger. Anyone would think the same thing.
“S-Sorry, Arthur just...” Shinra tried.
“I don’t care if you fight, just make sure to make up after.” Obi replied as he patted Arthur on the head. The other boy could only scowl at the commander before releasing Shinra.
“Our room. Now.” He muttered.
“A-ah, yeah...” replied Shinra as he bid Obi a good night and followed after Arthur. “Crap, I’ve gone and done it again...” Were the only words that ran through his mind as they entered the room.
“Hey, Arthur.”
“Be quiet, shut it.”
Of course he was mad. And Shinra, who had no place to say anything, could only stand there and be quiet. Arthur took several deep breaths in and out as he checked the door that Shinra had closed behind them. His whole body radiated tension.
“Where do you get off telling me to act normal? This is all your fault!” He accused. Neither of them had bothered to flip the lights when entering, so the room was dimly illuminated by the moon outside.
“Yeah, sorry...” What Arthur had said was painfully true. Shinra was the one who caused this trouble. He was the one who had hidden the truth for so long, but then for some unknown reason, had spilled it so easily. He had stupidly thought everything would be alright.
“What even is this...I don’t know what to do. I don’t get it.” Arhtur said. His back was turned to Shinra, but even then, he could feel the anger and frustration coming from the other boy.
“Ever since you told me you liked me, I’ve been weird. I feel strange. Until now, when people have confessed to me, I never really thought anything of it. I never felt anything. But when I saw that sincere face of yours, it made me act funny. What did you do to me? Is this some kind of devil’s curse?!”
Was he shaking?
Was it Shinra’s imagination, or did his voice sound like he was about to cry?
“This isn’t me! Totally unbefitting for a knight! All of it, it’s your fault...!” Arthur raged as he finally turned around.
As Shinra finally got a look at the blonde’s eyes, it certainly looked like those where tears in there, just waiting to spill at the first blink of an eye. He couldn’t stand it. And without a second thought, he reached out to wipe them away. It was then that Arthur snapped back to reality, stepping out of Shinra’s reach and roughly rubbing at his own eyes. Watching Arthur was like a punch to the chest.
“Why do you look like the one who’s going to cry?” Accused Arthur.
“Sorry.” He couldn’t say anything besides that. Shinra had really never meant to hurt the other boy with his confession.
“If you’re going to apologize, you might as well tell me...What is it to like someone? To love? What are these feelings I have...?”
Arthur’s words were like a jab straight to the heart. Shinra knew, without a doubt, what answer he wanted to hear, and telling him would be almost too easy. Arthur didn’t understand what it was like to care for someone in a romantic way, it had been completely foreign to him until now. Something he never needed to know. Just like people who were sick could never rest assured until they were given a cause, Arthur wanted someone to tell him what these unidentified feelings were inside of him. However, having someone else decide that kind of thing single handedly was unfair to all of those involved. Besides, Shinra was no doctor, he couldn’t diagnose Arthur.
“I like you.” Shinra began. The moment he said that Arthur’s head snapped up. The blonde looked like he was fighting with himself internally, debating if he really wanted to hear the rest of Shinra’s answer.
“When I see you, my chest feels a bit tighter. If I were to imagine a world without you in it, I feel lonely. When I see you having a good time talking to someone else, I get slightly jealous. I can immediately pick you out of a crowd, and its not because of your bright blonde hair. I want to see you smile. “
“I can only tell you what’s in my heart,” thought Shinra to himself.
“I want you to be happy, always. And I want to be the one by your side.” Continued Shinra.
“After all, only you can decide what’s in your heart.”
“That’s what I think it’s like to like someone.” Shinra said finally.
“I...?”
“I’m not you. You need to be the one to give it a name.”
“How about you Arthur?”
The moment Shinra asked, Arthur cast his eyes back down to the ground. He was sure he had messed up again, until the other boy began to slowly speak.
“I...can’t seem to look you directly in the face, so it looks like I hate you...but, if you talk to someone else I feel bad. Even though you’re a devil, when you smile I have a strange feeling. But not in a bad way. When you told me you liked me, it was the same, I didn’t hate it. But when I think about you, I get all confused, and that’s why I don’t understand...” Arthur said.
Then, as if he had just realized something, he turned and looked Shinra straight in the eyes. He continued to hold his gaze as the blonde worked to put the pieces together. Then, all of a sudden, “I...like you?”
Such a simple word, yet Arthur repeated it over and over, like he was hearing it for the first time. The blonde continued on, without paying much attention to Shinra before tilting his head and asking, “So, uh...now we date? Is that it?”
“What?”
“Wha- Am I wrong?”
Shinra couldn’t help but be a bit shocked. For someone who just discovered what liking someone was, the raven expected the other boy to be a bit more hesitant, and definitely didn’t expect him to jump to that conclusion.
“I mean, if you’re ok with it, I want to...” Shinra said. “But does he even know what dating entails? I mean, I wouldn’t put it past him to not know...”
“Ok, understood.” Arthur replied formally, turning his head to the slightly. Even in the dark, Shinra could see the blush spreading from his neck upwards.
It was too cute, and before Shinra could stop himself he grinned and asked, “...are you blushing?”
“I-I can’t help it! I mean, I never realized that I liked you...give me a second to let it sink in,” Arthur complained as the blush continued to spread across his face.
“He’s so red.” Shinra thought. “It’s cute.” It made him want to reach out and touch the other, but realized it was something he probably shouldn’t do without asking first.
“Hey Arthur”
“...What?”
“Can I kiss you?”
“Huh?!”
Shinra hadn’t expected the response he got. He had expected the other to freak out, and then he would have played off the whole thing and given up. Instead, he got a shy nod of the head, and Arthur tightly closing his eyes. Now Shinra was at a loss. It would be mean of him to backdown now, but it was dark and despite the odd feeling he kept his eyes open as he drew closer, not wanting to accidently miss Arthur’s mouth.
As he got closer, he could tell that Arthur was holding his breath, and shaking slightly from what Shinra hoped was anticipation. He couldn’t believe how endearing Arthur’s inexperience was, and it made him even more eager to kiss the other boy.
However, not really having much experience himself, Shinra’s kiss was only a light touch, over before it ever really began.
“Dating a demon...As a knight, what does that make me...?” Arthur mumbled as he brought his hands to touch his lips. Shinra wanted to remind him that he was a hero, thank you very much, but supposed he could let it slide for today.
“I guess the urban legend of the second button was true.” Shinra remarked, while climbing up the latter to his bed.
“Button? What are you talking about?”
“You know, at our graduation ceremony, where you made me give you my button. You said it was my heart.”
“Your button...?” Shinra watched Arthur as he stood there thinking about the statement. “Or more like he took it from me. How can he not remember? But maybe he didn’t think anything of it, even if he looked like he really thought it was my heart...”
“Button...heart...Oh!!” Arthur jumped from his spot and raced over to his bag, turning it upside down and dumping his junk all over the floor.
“I hope he cleans that up...” Shinra thought before he was interrupted by Arthur’s shout of, “You mean this?”
Held up between Arthur’s fingers was a small gold like circle. With Shinra’s good eyesight he could easily tell what the other was holding, “You still have it.”
“Of course, it’s the devil’s heart. If I’m going to defeat the devil then this is irreplaceable to that quest...wait. If I have this, that means...”
Shinra knew what was coming, and could feel the sense of dread creep over him. He quickly finished climbing the latter and threw himself onto the bed with a groan. Arthur, oblivious to the other’s struggle, asked ,” Shinra! Just how long have you liked me??”
“Not telling.”
“Hey!”
Your heart can only belong to you. But that being said, Shinra’s heart had long been captured by a certain stupid knight, and he was ok with that.
He just wouldn’t ever admit it to the other.