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“You have to do what you have to do…”
“Yeah…and so do you.”
And then Keith walks away, out of the room, out of Lance’s life.
It hurts.
It is only weeks later, thinking about this moment over and over again, that he realizes there were tears in Keith’s eyes.
**************
After the War ended, Lance and Allura had decided to stay friends. It is the decision that makes the most sense and, even if it hurts like hell, Lance knows in his heart of hearts that they are not destined to be together forever. They stay close, chatting, friendly, even when she starts chatting up another princess on another planet.
Lance himself is a bit lost at this point. He can’t go back to being the Lance before the War. He doesn’t have to fight anymore. He tries to go home and farm with his family, but he isn’t happy there no matter how hard he tries. So, he takes some piloting gigs, mostly just transportation, but it allows him to travel the universe. He eats, drinks, and makes merry with all sorts of aliens.
He has fun, but in the hollow way that isn’t really fulfilling. An endless amount of one night stands, hangovers, and loneliness plague his life.
Then, it happens.
Keith trots back into his life like it’s nothing. He has some diplomatic Blades meeting and Lance has to transport some inmates. They see each other in a courtyard and immediately clear their schedules. All it takes is one night of beers and catching up and the old feelings Lance had for the red paladin come back like a tidal wave.
Has Keith always been this pretty? This funny? This cute? Lance thinks as they talk the night away. Though they reluctantly part the next day, they call and text constantly afterward.
Lance allows himself to flirt with Keith for the first time ever. Amazingly, Keith reciprocates, a little awkwardly, but still. It doesn’t take long for Keith to ask him out. They move fast after that, first dates, first kisses, a lot of firsts between them, sweet and gentle and chaotic and passionate at the same time.
They end up buying a house together, not that they are there very often. They are both meant for the stars, taking on various missions, not as exciting as they used to be, but still exploring the universe side-by-side.
Three years together and Lance is considering the big question. The big one. The question to end all questions. His post-war life turned out so different than he imagined, yet at the same time perfect. Everything ended up as they should have. He can’t imagine a fate better than exploring the stars hand-in-hand with his perfect match.
It is about this time that everything blows up in Lance’s face.
***********
Pasher: Lance? We have to talk. Can we meet up?
Lance: Hey Pasher! What’s up?
Pasher: It’s personal. Can we meet?
Lance: Just letting you know I’m in a serious relationship and very happy…
Pasher: Trust me, I have no desire to be with you. It’s about something else…
At first, Lance doesn’t really think much about it. Pasher is someone he worked with years ago. They were cool and Lance ended up having a short “friends with benefits” situation with them. Lance is attracted to just how damn cute Pasher is. They are a type of alien that looks like the fanfic representation of the Galra. Lance had always thought the Galra looked more like werewolves than cats even though he appreciates the art of them as cute, playful kitty cats. Pasher actually looks like a space cat though, with a tail and lavender fur and cute little ears perched on their head. Yellow eyes that are not unlike the Galra and light, soft fur cover their body. They hadn’t spoken in years though and he has no idea what Pasher might want.
He and Keith are in a system close to where Pasher wants to meet though and he figures there is no harm in meeting up with an old friend. Keith is with the Blades for the day so Lance agrees to a coffee date with Pasher that morning.
When he arrives and then approaches Pasher in the crowded cafe, he squints when he sees them hunched over the table. When he gets closer, he realizes there is something in Pasher’s arms.
As they turn toward Lance, he realizes that they are holding a baby. The baby looks at Lance and he narrows his eyes as he sees a surprising flash of blue.
“Lance…here…” Pasher says, waving him over.
He gives them a side hug and then sits down.
“So, how have you been?” Pasher asks, innocently.
“Good…great actually. What about you? I see you have a new arrival to the family.” He nods toward the baby.
“Yep. I’m assuming you know why I asked you here,” they say, smiling broadly.
“Uh, no?”
Suddenly Pasher stands and the baby is thrust into his arms.
“Wha…” Lance struggles with the squirming baby in his arms.
“It’s time for you to do your part.” Pasher announces, doing a little spin like the weight of the world had been taken off their shoulders.
“My part?”
“For your baby!”
“MY what! It can’t be!” Lance shrieks.
Pasher looks at him, annoyed, and crosses their arms.
“You are the only person I’ve had sex with in the last five years.”
“We haven’t had sex in…3 years…over 3 years. Almost 4!”
Pasher rolls their eyes. “My species has an insemination and incubating stage that lasts over three years, duh.”
Lance looks down again, entire world shifting under his feet. The baby looks up at him and smiles. The flash of blue Lance saw were brilliant blue eyes that look exactly like his own. He also sees no fur, but rather light lavender skin with a shock of brown hair that also looks like his own. The baby is a perfect mixture between him and Pasher.
Lance swallows hard. “Oh god. Oh my God. What do I do? What do we do? We should talk…”
“Talk about what?”
“Raising a fu…fudging child, co-parenting, all that!”
Pasher looks at him with wide eyes before she shakes her head and laughs. “Oh, sweetie. Child bearers in our species never raise the children. Our only responsibility is the insemination and incubation, as well as immediate afterbirth care.”
“What? Why!”
“That’s how it works! This baby is yours until adulthood.”
“That isn’t fair!” Lance starts shaking, gripping the child more tightly to him.
“It’s the natural way of things. Who ever heard of a child bearer raising a child! Prosperous! Take responsibility! Are humans deadbeat dads or something?”
“No! I would never abandon my child. But…I don’t know what to do.”
Pasher shrugs. “Do what every inseminator does and google it? Anyway, good luck, I’ve got a date tonight!”
Then, unbelievably, with a relieved look on their face and a light footed walk, they start walking away with a twitch of their tail.
“Pasher…no way! You can’t!” Lance struggles after them, trying to juggle the baby too. “Oh, by the way, I named her Stellar!” they yell back at Lance before starting to run, never looking back.
Lance is left alone with a squirming mass of baby in his arms and a now stress-inducing lunch date with Keith in a few hours.
************
There really is no easy way to break to your boyfriend and man you want to marry that you knocked up an alien and now have a baby. He does some research before Keith returns though. First, he looks over the baby…his baby. She really is a perfect match between him and Pasher. The ears, tail, and some general cat-like features from Pasher and smooth skin and eyes from Lance.
He also looks up Pasher’s species and they aren’t lying at all. The child-bearer does the first 3-4 years of “incubation” and initial child rearing and then have little to nothing else to do with the child until adulthood and sometimes not even then. The “inseminator” always raises the children.
He also looks up how to care for mixed species babies and, thankfully, nothing looks immediately wildly different. Food, warmth, love, all that jazz. Of course, he would have to find a pediatrician who specializes in this species, but they are common in the universe, except for on Earth, of course.
He also realizes, without a doubt, that he loves this baby. It only takes a few minutes of looking in her eyes, seeing her smile at him and coo, and grab at his face that he realizes he would die to protect her.
His baby. He’s a dad now and this is his baby, he thinks as he cuddles her on the bed of his hotel room.
He tries to mentally prepare as much as possible before the key turns in the door and he sees Keith walk in, a smile on his face that stills when he sees the baby on the bed.
He knows that Keith is going to leave him. Keith is gay and has never expressed any desire to have a child, ever, and especially not right now. Lance trembles at the thought of losing Keith at the same time as trying to make peace with it, for the innocent life he had created, currently giggling and playing with her own tail.
***********
Keith goes shopping after the Blades meeting even though he told Lance it would take all morning. See, he has a very special mission, one that he can’t let Lance know about.
That mission is finding the perfect engagement ring. He wants something perfect to symbolize the love he feels for Lance. Lance, who had dropped back into his life and lit a light inside of Keith he never even knew existed.
Lance who actually reciprocates his feelings now, unbelievably.
He wants to marry Lance and only the perfect ring would do.
He wanders the endless counters of jewelry, occasionally waving off salesperson. He will know it when he sees it.
And he does see it, in the second to last counter in the back of the store.
Perfect. A meteorite ring with band of blue. Unique and special, just like Lance.
He buys it without a second thought and makes his way home, eagerly. He enters their home with a broad smile, his secret boring a hole in his coat, only to freeze when he sees Lance on their bed with what appears to be a baby in front of him.
“Uh, Lance? What’s that?” He asks.
“It’s a baby,” Lance answers stiffly.
“I can see that. Why do you have a baby?”
“It’s my baby.”
Keith’s eyes go wide, mind racing with the implications. Lance having a baby. They had been together for over three years now. Lance possibly having sex with someone else in those last three years. A sick feeling washes over him.
Lance’s face crumples. “Wait, babe…let me explain. Let me explain everything and then we can talk.”
Keith bends over, suddenly unable to breathe, but allows Lance, who sees him spiraling, to diffuse the situation by grabbing his hand, making him sit, and rubbing his back.
Lance says, without pause, “I slept with this alien a long time ago. 4 years ago, Keith, no cheating. I would never cheat on you. It wasn’t even serious. We were just coworkers, you know? Anyway, yeah. This species has a really long “incubation period,” stupidly long, and I had no idea. I had no idea they could even be pregnant. They never told me. I don’t know why not. Their name is Pasher. The alien. Stellar is the baby…my baby, my daughter. They just messaged me out of nowhere and now I have a daughter. I’m sorry. I had no idea.”
“So…wow,” Keith says, clutching Lance’s hand.
“I’m sorry,” Lance says, looking at him sadly. “I’m so sorry.”
Keith nods, slowly.
Stellar reaches for Keith’s hand, purring as she does it.
“So you are going to raise a baby…” Keith starts.
“Of course. She’s mine.” Lance takes a deep breath. “And my biggest priority now is making a family for her. This isn’t how I wanted things to go, Keith.”
Keith’s stomach turns and he knows where this is going. He knows that Lance is going to break up with him and go make a family with this random alien. He wants to puke.
“Well, I guess we don’t always get what we want,” Keith says, trying to keep the bitterness out of his voice while standing up and crossing his arms over his chest.
“You have to do what you have to do…” Lance says, though he wants to beg Keith to stay with him.
“Yeah…and so do you.”
And then Keith walks away, out of Lance’s life.
**********
The only way Lance survives the next few months is by throwing himself into caring for Stellar. Stellar makes it easy, being the sweetest, best natured baby Lance has ever known. Lance goes back home to raise her, getting help from his parents and older siblings with children. He throws himself into parenthood, researching and reading methods for childcare and strong bone growth and spending hours doting on his baby girl. It almost keeps the painful ache away that he feels late at night while sleeping alone without Keith.
He loves Stellar, but losing his best friend and someone he wanted to marry in a flash hurts more than he can describe. The only thing keeping him from drowning his pain in alcohol and one night stands is Stellar. He can’t do that to her. He has a responsibility to give her the happiest life possible and he will do just that, Keith or not.
It is awkward to tell everyone that he suddenly has a child. His family is shocked, but then welcoming and excited for him. He tells them Keith didn’t want to a raise a kid and they accept it with anger and judgment they learn to hide from Lance. Lance always defends Keith. He tells Pidge and Hunk, who are equally shocked but then support him entirely. He stiffly tells them that Keith and him broke up, but he doesn’t want to talk about it. They reluctantly accept this and the fact that he cuts them off whenever they try to talk about Keith.
He does have to, eventually, return to a job though. His family will let him stay with them as long as he wants, but he wants a job of his own and he wants to be closer to doctors who know his daughter’s species as well. He eventually picks up more piloting jobs, just small ones that take him around the galaxy closest to Earth. He wants to save and then maybe buy his own house. He brings Stellar with him sometimes, but keeps his jobs close to Earth so his older sister can babysit and he can get home by dinner time anyway. He falls into an uneasy new rhythm, happy to be a father, but empty otherwise.
One day, a mission comes across his screen that involves transporting supplies for the Atlas with Captain Shirogane. Lance smiles. He hasn’t seen or spoken to Shiro in forever. It would be nice to see an old, familiar face.
When he approaches Shiro though, rather than a hug he gets a terse nod and then Shiro launches into the specifics of the job immediately without even asking how Lance is. Lance wonders if he is under stress, but a few awkward minutes of conversation make it abundantly clear that the man is being undeniably cold to him. They talk business, but only that. They never touch and Shiro doesn’t even make eye contact with him.
It hurts more than Lance wants to admit. Shiro is one of his heroes in life and he was a groomsman at his wedding to Adam. How could he turn on him like this? Lance takes a deep breath and then grabs Shiro’s arm as they walk toward the supplies.
“Hey Shiro?” What’s up?”
“What do you mean?”
“You seem angry at me?”
Shiro sighs and looks down. “Ok. Listen Lance, it’s not your fault, really. It’s just…Keith…”
“What about Keith?”
“It’s not really my place to tell, but it’s just been hard on all of us when you broke up.”
“I mean, I did nothing wrong…”
“We know. We all know that. I’m sorry. Here, why don’t we catch up?”
They chat uneasily for a few moments before Shiro leaves him to start loading boxes.
Though Lance could brush off Shiro as just being the protective older brother type, Acxa, who is also a part of the supply run, is less subtle with her anger at Lance. She snarls at him when he enters the room, hands him a clipboard so hard that Lance winces and nearly drops it, and then ignores him, basically vibrating with anger.
“What’s your problem?” He finally asks after Shiro leaves.
“You’re my problem!” She answers.
“What does that mean! What did I ever do to you?”
“You broke Keith’s heart!”
“I broke…I did what? He broke up with me.”
“Because you cheated on him and knocked up some stranger!”
“Did he tell you that? No…Acxa, listen.”
He goes over the timeframe again, furious that anyone would think he would cheat at all and especially on Keith. “Did he tell you I cheated?”
“No…not exactly. I just assumed…”
“His heart…it’s broken…?”
Axca looks around and sighs. “I’ve never seen him like this.”
“I don’t get it…He is the one who left me…”
“That isn’t the impression I got. I got that you ditched him to go run off and make a family with this new alien.”
“Jesus…”
It’s confusing though Lance blames Keith’s sometimes poor communication skills for the confusion. Lance does his job, but only on autopilot. Secretly, his mind is racing.
***********
Keith drifts after leaving Lance, useless, worthless, wilted.
He spends a few nights crying with a bottle of whiskey on Shiro and Adam’s couch. He tries to run away to ends of the universe only to be dragged back by his Mom, rolling her eyes at how he got his dramatics from her.
He isn’t sure what to do without Lance though.
Lance had given light, meaning, and purpose to his life. He was completely and entirely in love with him. What is he supposed to do without him?
Maybe it was always meant to be this way though. Lance is very family-orientated and Keith knows he wants kids. Now he has a new partner and baby, the family he always wanted. Way better than a rough around the edges man who has never even held a baby.
He wants Lance to be happy above all else, but dammit if it doesn’t hurt.
He’s lost.
But, he does still have work. He is still doing things for the Blades, for the universe, mechanically, barely registering as he shakes hands and hands out supplies for photo ops.
He happens to run across Lance’s sister on one diplomatic mission, wincing openly at seeing someone connected to the man he loves and looking so much like him as well.
He isn’t really expecting her to glare at him in only a way the Alvarez family can and then stomp over to him.
“Enjoying yourself?” She snarls.
“Uh…”
“Nice to see you here drinking wine after abandoning my brother.”
“Uh…”
“Just, fuck off and stay away from me.”
Then she walks away.
Keith is confused, wondering what story Lance told them to make her feel that way. I mean, wouldn’t they be thrilled that Lance has settled down with a nice alien capable of bearing him children? Did they really want him to end up with someone like Keith, someone who ultimately can’t give Lance what he really wants.
She glares at him the entire time they are there, barely hiding her disgust directed at him.
It hurts more than it should. He likes Veronica, of course, but it wouldn’t bother him so much if she didn’t remind him so much of Lance. He also doesn’t get why he is being blamed for stepping aside and letting Lance have his perfect little family.
That night, he is half a bottle into some whiskey before he makes a mistake, picking up his phone and scrolling to the familiar contact.
Keith: Can you call your sister off
He texts to Lance like it’s nothing, like it’s not a really bad idea.
Lance: wym?
Lance answers, equally as casually, though both are freaking out on the separate ends of their phones.
Keith: She’s being fucking mean saying I screwed you over and shit
Lance wants to reply and say that he did. Keith left him when he was alone and scared and with a new baby. But he knows that isn’t fair. He understands that Keith didn’t want to raise a kid and hadn’t signed up to do so.
Lance: oh
Keith: not sure why she’d think that since you left me
Keith watches as the three dots appear and disappear on Lance’s end.
Keith: I miss you so much. Dammit I’m sorry. I hope you’re happy with your new family. I want you to be happy. I wont contact you again.
Lance: WTF Keith. if you miss me so much why did you leave me?
Keith: you wanted your new family, remember?
Lance: you…ok where are you. we need to talk.
**********
They agree to meet at a hotel in between their current locations. He isn’t able to find a babysitter for Stellar, so he brings her too. She is a part of this too and Keith needs to know it.
He regrets this slightly when he opens the door to the hotel room and finds Keith, looking shockingly rough with messy hair and bags under his eyes.
Stellar doesn’t mind though, squealing in delight at the sight of Keith, tail flapping around happily. He sets her on a play mat on the ground while Keith awkwardly watches, hovering in a corner of the room.
“Now, play with your hedgehog, Princesa,” he murmurs and hands Stellar her favorite toy.
Then he turns toward Keith. “No swearing, no yelling. Got it?”
Keith nods.
“What the cheese are you talking about my new family.” Lance does air quotes around the words new family.
“Your new family. Pasher and Stellar.”
“No no no no no. Just Stellar. I’m not with Stellar’s other parent. Where did you get that idea?”
“You said you wanted to create a family…what is that supposed to mean when you have knocked up an alien?”
“It means I’m going to take care of my daughter and take her in!” Lance throws his arms in the air despite both of them talking in low, gentle voices despite the content of the conversation.
“Why does that even have to be said! Of course you would!”
“Well, maybe not!”
“Why else did you think I left? I thought you were breaking up with me to be with Pasher!”
“I kind of sort of did break up with you because I assumed you wouldn’t want to raise a baby. You never talked about wanting kids and raising another alien’s baby is a lot to ask…”
“Oh Lance. How could I not love and want to raise something that is a part of you?”
“So…you still love me?” Lance asks, voice feathery with hope.
“Of course!...Do you love me?”
“Yes, always, forever. I never stopped.”
“Wow,” Keith says, running his hands through his hair.
“You…idiot!” Lance hisses.
“Whatever…we are both idiots!” Keith hisses back.
Then Keith crosses the space between them and pulls Lance into a hug. Lance thinks that neither of them will ever break the hug, except for the fact that they hear small “dada” from the floor.
Lance smiles broadly, taking Keith by the hand. “Now meet Stellar, for real.” He picks her up and holds her out to Keith, who awkwardly takes her.
Stellar immediately reaches up and grabs his mullet, giggling.
“Like father like daughter,” Keith mutters fondly, holding her close to his chest.
“Idiots! Idiots!” she says, then, proudly using their own language.
“Oops,” Lance says, laughing.
“Well, she isn’t wrong…teach me how to be a parent?” Keith asks.
“Of course. We’ll figure things out together.”
Then he wraps his arms around both of them, the first of many family hugs to come, already dreaming about Stellar being the flower girl at their wedding.