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He pretends not to notice, but he does. He notices the dark circles under her eyes, the wad of tissues she has on her at all times, the way her once fitted suits now hang loosely on her body. He knows she doesn’t want to be treated like a sick person. So, he tries, he really does. But it’s hard to watch your best friend deteriorating.
Ever since the infamous Eddie Van Blundht incident, he has been putting in more of an effort to check in with her, to spend time together outside of work. Whether it’s watching a movie, exchanging childhood summer stories, or debating the merit of sending dogs to space.
With both of these points in mind, he finds himself knocking on her apartment door on a Friday evening after saying good-bye mere hours ago. He also finds himself holding a bag of pot brownies. If he can hang out with her while also reducing some of her discomfort, he’ll take it as a win.
“Are you crazy?” she asks as she ushers him into her living room.
“The doctor said it’s not constructive to use those kinds of words.” He responds dryly.
“Marijuana is illegal. Where did you even get those? You’re a federal agent.”
“Yeah, but Langly’s not.” He smirks. She scoffs at him and crosses her arms. So, he begins to plead his case. “Look I know that you like to pretend like you are totally fine, and I love it, I get a kick out of it, but I also know that you are in pain and can’t eat without getting sick. Lastly, I also know that marijuana can help subside some of the side effects of chemo treatments.”
She sighs heavily. Her resolve quickly breaking down. It’s true, she’s been miserable and in a fair amount of discomfort. She’s been trying her best to hide it from Mulder, she knows he feels bad enough about it already.
Weighing the pros and cons, she asks him, “What if we get tested at work? They can do random drug tests without notice.” She sits on the couch and gestures for him to join him.
“Scully, when is the last time you were randomly drug tested at work?”
“You didn’t answer the question.” She rolls her eyes.
“Well, it’s Friday evening which gives us 2 full days to flush our systems. And if you really still feel uncomfortable after that, we can play hooky for a couple days.” He winks at her.
Losing the fight in her, she reluctantly agrees. “Fine, you’re eating one too though. I don’t wanna be high around you while you’re sober. I don’t need you to have anything incriminating on me.”
“Deal. I’m gonna give you a heads up though. This is from Langlys special stash. It’s the good stuff. Also, edibles can be a bit more intense-”
“Mulder,” she interrupts him, “you know this isn’t my first time, right?”
“Dana Katherine Scully,” he gapes at her. “Is Maggie aware of this?”
“What? You never experimented in high school and college?”
“I did. But I wasn’t perfect, Catholic, little Dana.” He teases her, nudging her slightly where they sit next to each other on the couch.
She rolls her eyes even more dramatically than before. “You may have a college party boy, but I grew up with Hippy Dippy Missy. After she moved out, she grew her own plants. We often partook while we were together. She wanted to enlighten me, but all I ever got was the munchies.” They laugh together.
“Alright then, you ready Cheech?” He asks with a waggle of his eyebrows.
“Let’s do it Chong.” she smirks back.
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45 minutes later they find themselves sitting increasingly reclined on the couch. The plate from the sandwich he made her sits empty on the coffee table next to a tall glass of water. In between them sits a large tub of mint chocolate chip ice cream with two spoons. Which they both sporadically scoop from. With glossy eyes, they watch and laugh at the movie playing on the t.v. without really focusing on it. Airplane! was Mulder choice and she appreciates the selection.
For the first time in a long time, she feels truly relaxed and pain free while being able to keep her dinner down. She looks over at him as he watches the movie. He has a goofy grin on his face that looks permanently plastered on. She can’t help but mirror his expression while looking at him. Feeling an intense affection towards him, Scully silently thanks God for bringing Mulder into her life, and into her apartment this evening. And for weed and brownie mix. She thanks God for Langly while she’s at it.
He feels her staring at him, so he turns his head to look at her. He relishes in the silly, toothy grin facing him. With their heads resting on the back of the couch, they continue to stare and smile at each other until Scully, suddenly giggles. He joins her. Taking her hand in his, he directs his focus back to the movie on screen.
With her free hand, she takes what she assumes is her spoon and grabs a scoop of ice cream. While swallowing, her tongue suddenly feels dry and too large for her mouth. Moving it around her mouth feeling every dent and imperfection, she is hyper aware of the sensation of her teeth against her tongue. She also becomes hyper aware of the feeling of air going into her lungs.
She begins to panic, trying to remember to breathe, for fear of forgetting to do it and suffocating. She opens her mouth to breathe more freely however, the air is coming in and going out in quick pants instead of steady breaths.
Mulder hears her first then looks over to see her face flush and panic in her eyes.
“Hey Scully, you okay?”
“I need you to talk me down, Mulder. Fear and panic is setting in.” Mulder moves to sit up straight and brings her with him. Moving the tub of ice cream to the table, he turns to face her.
“Here, focus on my breathing.” He brings her hand up to his chest right over his heart and moves his hand to mirror the position and rest upon her heart. However, in his high state, he ends up a few inches south of her heart, fully cupping her left breast.
They both freeze and stare at each other in shock. Scully is the first to break the silence, with a side splitting laugh.
“I am so sorry.” He says still in shock, still cupping her breast. She continues to laugh, he can’t hold back anymore and laughs with her. Looking at her, he is reminded of their first case together, laughing in the rain and the mud. How young and unscathed she had been then. She looks just as young and free, now sitting on her couch with him, high as a kite. He feels an immense gratitude to have her in his life. He is also grateful to have finally copped a feel, even if it was an accident. His brain still has been unable to communicate with his body to let go.
“It’s okay. At least you distracted me.” She says, still laughing. He then remembers what he was trying to do and finally lets go. He grabs the water from the coffee table and hands it to her.
“Here drink this.” As she does so, he moves to the far end of the couch and places a throw pillow in his lap. When she has finished the water and places the glass back on the table, he pats the pillow, “C’mere Scully.”
She again does as told as lay her head in his lap looking up at him into his soft hazel eyes. Looking into her deep blue eyes, he runs his finger through her hair. The film having ended a few minutes prior, fills the room in a gentle blue hue.
Her eyes begin to droop slightly as he continues to gently run his fingers over her face and all the way through her short fiery hair.
“Sing me a song, Mulder.” she slurs slightly.
“You wanna be serenaded, baby?” He smirks. She lightly smacks his arm, but smiles back at him.
“Shut up, Mulder and sing me a song. Please."
“Okay, okay. Uh, let me think.” He racks his brain for songs he knows the words to. A certain Elvis collection is at the forefront, naturally. He begins to sing quietly without further consideration.
“Love me tender, love me sweet
Never let me go.
You have made my life complete
And I love you so.”
Tears begin to pool in her eyes slightly at the song choice. The way he looks into her eyes and sings so quietly, feels extremely intimate.
“Love me tender, love me true
All my dreams fulfill
For my darling, I love you
And I always will.”
As he pauses to take a deep breath, she sees the tears also threatening to fall from his eyes.
“Love me tender, love me long
Take me to your heart
For it’s there that I belong
And we’ll never part.”
One tear escapes past his eye lashes, prompting hers to also trail down her temples into her hair that he continues to pet tenderly.
“Love me tender, love me true
All my dreams fulfill
For my darling, I love you
And I always will.”
He finishes, tears running gently down both their cheeks. For a short while, they sit crying softly, looking into each others eyes.
“Never leave me. Please.” He says just above a whisper, bending down pressing a kiss to her forehead and cheeks.
“I will try.” Is all she can say, not wanting to make promises she can’t keep.