Work Text:
"River, have you read this book? It's called "Green Eggs And Ham" and is by a Doctor Seuss.
Its the most brilliant book! " River had brought the Doctor along to the bookstore to buy a present for Ryan and Yas's new baby. The Doctor never bothered to pick out books much in the past. She had her library and that was that. River didn't see any harm in bringing her wife with her. She figured the Doctor would take a quick look around, find a seat and pester River until they just bought a children's bible. Today was different, the Doctor had found something she liked.
River bought 'The Complete Works Of Doctor Seuss' in two copies. One for the Doctor and one for the baby shower. She also managed to get in some shopping and bought a couple outfits for the new baby. The Doctor didn't care, she was reading. "This man is a genius! Pure genius, River! How can you not enjoy his works?" Asked the Doctor. "Sweetie, I read those books to our kids more times than I can count! I started dreaming in those characters!" River apparently was overloaded with the author. "Wait. Where was I while you read to the children?" The Doctor didn't remember these story sessions. " Tinkering with the TARDIS. Away somewhere. I don't really know! I read them those books. "
"Missy, have you ever heard of Theodore Seuss Geisel?" Asked the Doctor the next time she paid her friend a visit. "No. Did I kill him? Was he important? Should I care?" " He is just the greatest author! Here, read this! " The Doctor handed over a copy of 'One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish' and watched. "Where did you get this? He makes more sense than anything I ever learned in school." Missy said. River rolled her eyes. For such an advanced people, Time Lords were weird. She then made a trip back to the bookstore for a third copy of Doctor Seuss. "Oh, thank you so much." Yas said when she opened the box. " I loved these books as a child. Now I can read them to my own little ones. " "Ones? As in plural?" The Doctor was getting excited. " Yes. Ryan and I are having triplets! He would have come but once he heard he was going to go a father three times over he fainted. Now just the mention of babies makes him woozy. My parents are just thrilled! " Yas explained. "Well, you will have your hands full." The Doctor said. "By the way, how far along are you now? Twenty-four weeks." Yas replied. "That means-" The Doctor started. "Yes! I got pregnant on the honeymoon." " Tha- Tha- That Means-" The Doctor couldn't even finish the sentence. "Sweetie, what's wrong?" River asked. "They were conceived in the TARDIS." The Doctor finally got out. "Now Doctor, just because the three babies were conceived on the TARDIS doesn't mean that anything will happen. Ours were conceived there and look at how wonderful they are." River said. "Oh, right. Hand me that book would you?" Look at where the Doctor left off, River said " The Cat In The Hat? " "Yes. I need to calm my mind." River shook her head. " River! River! Have you read 'The Lorax '? " The Doctor asked. "Sweetie, it's the middle of the night. Ask me in the morning." River tried to go back to sleep but the Doctor kept talking "This character looks just like those creatures on that planet.... What was it called?" The Doctor just wouldn't let it go! " Sweetie, I love you. But I have read that book more times than I can count! It was little Rory's favorite book. I think I went through four or five copies when he was little! Now, let me sleep and we can talk in the morning! " River replied. "What a great book! 'Yertle the Turtle ' is just amazing! I've met so many rulers like him and they have all ended up the same way! " The Doctor said over breakfast. "Put down the book and eat your porridge!" River said. The Doctor was too into these books! Finally River pulled out the movies. "Let's start with 'The Five Thousand Fingers Of Doctor T.' It's a lesser known work." Four minutes into it and the Doctor was upset. " Stop! Stop! This is horrible! " River smiled to herself, finally she got her wife to snap out of this odd obsession. "How about this one?" The Doctor asked, holding up 'Horton Hears A Who. ' River sighed. "Fine! But the original cartoon version. Not the CGI one." " River! River! River! RIIIIIVER! " Yelled the Doctor. "What's wrong?" " He... He.... HE STOLE CHRISTMAS! " The Doctor was inconsolable. "Who did, Sweetie?" Seeing the red and green book in her hand was enough to tell River everything. "Did you read the rest?" She asked. " No! It's just too awful! " Cried the Doctor. "Let me read it to you. You'll see, it gets better." So River finished reading the book and when the Grinch carved the roast beast the Doctor smiled. " See? His heart grew and he became friends with everyone. " River couldn't stand this much longer. It took four months but finally, just when River thought she would voluntarily go to Stormcage just to get away from this, the Doctor finished the last book. "Finally! Now we can move on." River thought. " River, did you ever watch the other Doctor Seuss movies? And there have been been television shows! I can't wait to watch them with the triplets! Did you ever hear of a Richard Scarry? Or Thornton Burgess? " Asked the Doctor. River went to the bed room, she was spending some time in a cell somewhere because that was the only way she was going to get any peace! Too bad about double jeopardy, she would love to go back to Stormcage for some quiet. Never again would she bring the Doctor into a bookstore. Never again would she drag her wife shopping for anything. From now on everyone would receive a journal and pen. "Sweetie, I am off for a while." River said. " Oh. " Said the Doctor, looking up from her boom. "In the words of your beloved Doctor Seuss, 'The time had come so... Marvin WENT. ' Call me when you finish reading Curious George." "Oooooooh! Another good suggestion! Why don't we-" River interrupted. "We aren't doing anything! I am going!" River was pleased she didn't show the Doctor the boxes full of children's books their kids read. Hopefully they would remain in the storage room behind the play pen and toys. But if they didn't, well... There were always grandchildren, right?
