Work Text:
They were only a few weeks into the fall semester and Jeremy was already immensely impressed with Jean. He was easily the best backliner on their team, knew three languages fluently, and apparently was this amazing artist.
The team only found out by accident one day when Jeremy had shown up with a few other guys on the team to run through some new drills. Jean had been there with stuff from his painting class. Jeremy tried not to startle Jean from whatever trance he was in. He was furiously mixing paints and making gentle strokes along the canvas. Jeremy himself was mesmerized by Jean’s skill.
When Jeremy finally caught a glimpse, it was the most wonderful thing he had ever seen. The colors were dramatic and he swore he could feel apprehension in the painting. The scene made you contemplate if the court was a prison or an escape.
On the surface level, one may not read too much into this. In reality, this was a huge insight to the mysterious Jean Moreau.
Watching him made Jeremy think of many questions he desperately wanted to ask Jean. If he had learned to paint in France. If he liked to paint or draw better. If he ever drew people. If Jean even wanted to play exy. How USC compared to Edgar Allen.
Jeremy wanted to know everything and anything Jean would share. His canvas looked like it had answers, so Jeremy slowly crept closer.
When Jean finally realized he wasn’t alone, he packed up everything quickly. He had refused to show off the final product. Jeremy thought that perhaps Jean wasn’t ready to share his emotions with the team. That perhaps this art class allowed Jean to express feelings that had been suppressed for years.
In full honesty, Jeremy enjoyed having Jean around. He was easily one of the most interesting and talented individuals Jeremy had ever played with. Not to mention, he was easily one of the most attractive people he knew.
The only downside, Jeremy didn’t think Jean liked him exactly. Or maybe didn’t trust him.
Within the few short weeks of them being roommates, Jean barely spoke to Jeremy. They still hung out and got meals together since they were roommates. He couldn’t explain it, but he just wanted more from his new teammate. However, Jean would only address him as Knox and he never went within five feet of Jeremy.
Whenever Jeremy offered to help Jean with something, Jean looked skeptical and refused it. He was pulling out all the stops here and whatever he did, it didn’t work.
There was one day in particular it became clear to him that Jean didn’t return Jeremy’s enthusiasm over being roommates. Jeremy had spent all day preparing a huge dinner for the two to eat to celebrate the start of the semester. When Jean came back to their apartment, he looked apprehensive about eating with just Jeremy. Somehow Jean had dropped a cup and the glass broke everywhere. It cut into Jean’s finger a little, so Jeremy jumped up to grab a towel.
He rushed over to Jean, “Here, let me help!”
He wrapped the tablecloth around Jean’s hand and Jean instantly jerked away from him as if he had been burned too. He ran into the bathroom and locked himself in there for over an hour.
Jeremy debated the entire time whether he should knock or call someone for help. Eventually, he just waited it out until Jean came out. He knew Jean would never explain what happened, but he kept his distance from that point on.
He knew it was impossible to make everyone like you, but it still stung when Jean ignored him or said no to hanging out. Especially as he watched Jean make friends easily with Laila and Sara. It almost made Jeremy feel like he couldn’t hang out with them.
When he did join them, he tried to keep his distance from Jean. If the girls noticed, they didn’t say anything.
Sometime by the mid semester, things started to thaw between them. Jean was quickly becoming more relaxed with the team. He even informed them all he had a project for his art class and needed to draw some of them.
At least that answered one of Jeremy’s questions.
Jeremy was among one of the volunteers for the portrait. Jean scheduled times with each of them, but he hadn’t done it with Jeremy. When he had asked, Jean told Jeremy they were roommates and it seemed pointless.
Jean had begun working on their assignments in their living room. He claimed the window gave him great light to work with, so Jeremy told him to make himself comfortable. He set up a huge portfolio folder to hold all of his work, but he just asked that Jeremy not look through it. Jeremy agreed and felt he was fortunate enough to watch Jean work on all of these portraits.
Each one was turning out beautiful of course.
You could tell how much care and effort had gone into each one. Jean’s emotion was obvious. His care for each member of the team was demonstrated through the lines and shading on his work.
Jean showed off his first one, which he had done of Sara. It captured her so perfectly that she jumped on Jean to give him a hug. She looked fierce and confident as she stared down the viewers.
Laila almost cried when she saw hers. In fact, she was speechless for the longest time Jeremy can remember. She somehow even looked outgoing and bold.
It seemed like Jean had made it through most of the Trojans before moving on to others. At first it just seemed like random people that maybe Jean had seen on campus before Jeremy noticed the trend.
After Jean completed one of Jackson, an ex-Raven, he did a portrait of Kevin Day next. It looked so similar to Kevin that Jeremy almost expected it to start talking exy with him.
Then, the last one came- Riko.
Riko’s took on a darker mood than the other; however, it was still larger than life. There was no brightness anywhere. Even the highlights in the painting felt too sharp or grey. There was nothing but darkness.
It pained Jeremy to see this. He could tell it hurt Jean in some way to make something like this.
Following Riko’s portrait, there were a few more members of the Foxes including Neil Josten and Renee Walker. Neil looked like some heroic figure while Renee looked angelic.
It gave Jeremy some hope that Jean had moved on.
About a week later, the team was busy celebrating their latest win. They officially took over the top spot in the league, which was setting them up nicely for playoffs. Jeremy desperately wanted to beat Edgar Allen this year. He wanted to beat them all. He believed USC deserved to finally be the top team in Class I exy.
Tonight’s celebration however included immense amounts of alcohol. They had rented out one of the ballroom suites on campus and invited only their closest friends.
Jeremy wandered around and greeted everyone. He couldn’t help but notice Jean was talking to the same girl every time he found him. Jeremy thought she looked familiar, but he hadn’t met her before.
She was pretty and somehow getting Jean to smile and laugh. As glad as he was to see Jean happy, he couldn’t help but feel a twinge of jealousy. He knew how hard it was to get Jean to look like that and she made it look effortless.
He forced himself to go find Laila and Sara instead of watching Jean with this woman.
When he found them, he was immediately encouraged to shotgun a beer with them. He got pulled into some ridiculous conversation with the girls.
By the team he remembered to find Jean again, he was gone. He asked a few of his teammates and no one knew where Jean was. Alex claimed that Jean left with the girl, but he wasn’t sure where they went.
He finally figured it out hours later when Jeremy headed back up to his room and he passed her again in the hallway. When Jeremy walked into the apartment, Jean’s sketchbook was out on the table open to a sketch of the same girl.
Not for the first time that night he felt just a little jealous of her. What was so special about her that made Jean want to talk with her? Sure she was pretty, but still. There were so many more interesting people around. Not to mention Jeremy lived with Jean and could model any time he wanted.
He wished they were close enough so he could just ask Jean who she was. And if they were together or what the deal here was. In reality, he would probably get no response from Jean.
It shouldn’t bother Jeremy, but for some reason, it really did. Whatever he did wasn’t good enough for Jean. After everything he had gone through, Jeremy couldn’t blame him for wanting to set the bar high. He just wished he knew how to give Jean what he wanted and deserved.
The days went by and that same girl hadn’t come by again. Jeremy figured maybe they were friends and just let it go. He knew Jean would never answer if he asked who she was or if they were together.
That next weekend Jeremy and Jean were home together while watching a movie. A knock came to their door and Jean looked at Jeremy to answer it. It was a fair assumption that most people were there for Jeremy.
He was shocked though when a freshman backliner named Will stood there and greeted him with, “Um, I’m actually here for Jean.”
Jeremy just ushered him in and looked at Jean. Jean had paused the movie and headed towards his makeshift studio area.
Will followed over to where Jean was. Jean told him to sit up on the stool so he could finish his painting.
Jeremy tried not to watch so intently as Jean worked while Will could sit and stare openly at Jean.
He wanted a glimpse of Jean’s latest work but he knew he would have to be patient. Jean still barely spoke to him let alone would show off any of his prized work ahead of completion.
Belatedly, Jeremy realized he sat there with the movie paused for an hour. He had been too caught up in watching Jean and Will that he didn’t even notice how much time had passed.
Something in Jeremy twisted and negative thoughts filled his head. He wanted to ask why Jean hadn’t worked on his portrait yet. He came to the conclusion that Jean simply did not want to, but he wanted a reason why. If it was because he was too ugly or something. Or if it was because he made Jean uncomfortable. He just had to know.
When Will got up to leave, he overheard Jean say, “You can come take a look if you want.”
The offer sounded as if it was only for Will, so Jeremy stayed put.
He watched as Will blushed at the work. “It’s amazing Jean. I wish I could do something like this.”
Jean smiled a little and said, “Well thanks for coming over. I have everything I need for my midterm now.”
Jeremy frowned. This meant there would be no portrait session with Jean.
Jean had purposefully excluded Jeremy while drawing or painting nearly every member of the Trojans and many of the Ravens or Foxes. Were that many people more important to Jean than his roommate?
The answer was obvious.
Will left and Jean finished cleaning everything up. He must’ve looked annoyed because when Jean came back over he asked, “Ca va?”
At least he cares enough to ask if I’m okay, Jeremy thought to himself.
Jeremy nodded but avoided eye contact.
“Hey,” Jean said in a soft voice. “Are you coming to my art show this week?”
“Of course, if you want.”
Jean smiled and told him to come to the show again.
Jeremy knew it was Jean’s midterm. A huge art show with all the student’s in his class. He wanted to go and support Jean, and it meant everything now that he had been invited. He thought he caught Jean smiling, but it probably didn’t mean anything.
The day of the show made Jeremy nervous. He didn’t know if he should make a big deal out of things or just stay calm. Obviously Jean’s work would be the best in the show.
When he got there, he was blown away by everything.
It wasn’t that the other artists were bad, but Jean’s could’ve brought Jeremy’s to his knees. Each one was so breathtaking. He had seen a few of them already, but his memory had not done them justice.
Laila looked otherworldly and Sara looked like a goddess of some sort. Neil’s was heroic, but also gave off a feeling of sacrifice. He could feel the emotion in Kevin Day’s expression as the whole thing was highlighted by his tattoo.
He almost missed it, but there was his face among all of them.
Jeremy stumbled when he finally saw it.
His entire portrait was so bright. Somehow Jean made the entire portrait in golds and yellows. There were a few cool blues among the bright colors, but it seemed to rival the sun itself with how radiant it was.
He didn’t know when Jean had the time to do this without Jeremy noticing, but it was a huge surprise to him.
Maybe he was biased, but it was the most beautiful one.
He somehow pulled his gaze away from the portrait to study the order of the others.
It looked almost as if everything centered around Jeremy. It was Jeremy in the middle surrounded directly by the court, Sara, Alvarez, Will, and Kevin. Shortly outside were a few of their teammates and Neil. On the far sides were the Ravens and Riko.
Jeremy didn’t know what it meant and didn’t want to hope.
He felt tears spring to his eyes and he ran out of the art studio.
He heard footsteps behind him and someone calling, “Jeremy”.
When he was about to reach the door, he felt a hand grab his wrist. With a gentle tug, Jeremy stopped and turned around to face him.
Jean stood there emotionless. Maybe Jeremy’s reaction had offended him or something. None of this made sense, so he let Jean take the lead.
“Walk back with me to the dorm?”
Jeremy forced himself to look up at Jean, “But your show?”
Jean didn’t look bothered, “This is more important, let’s go.”
It was quiet when they walked back, but it didn’t feel uncomfortable. Despite the fact that Jeremy literally ran crying from Jean’s big art show.
They reached their room and Jean slowly walked over towards his portfolio.
“Here.”
Jeremy accepted the huge folder from Jean. He didn’t know what this all meant, but when he opened it up, it was filled with images of him.
There were pictures of Jeremy sleeping, laughing, with his friends, playing exy, reading. It was as if he had been Jean’s muse all along. Every picture made Jeremy’s heart want to burts. His hands shook as he carefully flipped through each of them.
“But I thought you hated me?” Jeremy looked at Jean with utter shock and awe.
Jean looked confused, “Hated you? Jeremy, I worship you.”
Jeremy felt tears spring to his eyes for the second time that day.
Within seconds, they were kissing. The kiss was so gentle and it made Jeremy feel as wonderful as he did when he saw that painting. Surely, this was a dream. Every part of this was too good to be true.
When they broke apart, Jeremy whispered, “I’ve always liked you.”
Jean smiled. It was wide and bright and honest. Jeremy knew he had a similar one on his face.
“I wasn’t sure if you did. I knew you deserve better than me and still do. I lived in the dark at Edgar Allen for so long, but the second I met you the lights slowly started to come back on.”
Jeremy reached up to kiss Jean on the cheek and then hugged him tightly. “You, Jean Moreau, are the most amazing person. You deserve the whole universe.”
Jean bent down to kiss him again. It was so intense that Jeremy felt himself burning up inside. This was more than he could’ve hoped for.
“I don’t want the universe, just the sun.”
