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“Edwa-,” Oswald cut himself off when he saw the spread in front of him. “What is this?”
Golden firelight flickered through the library. The table in the center, usually covered in blueprints or sub-parts, was burdened with all sorts of non-perishable food items. Candles were perched between plates of beans and boxed macaroni and cheese, and Oswald let out a small chuckle when he noticed the high quality of the silverware and dishes that had been used to set the table.
Ed himself turned from the fireplace at the sound of Oswald’s voice. The freshly pressed green suit Oswald had acquired for him glimmered in the candlelight. A smile spread across his face.
“Oswald!” he exclaimed, crossing the room to pull the chair from the head of the table and gesture to it with a flourish, “dinner is served.”
“I can see that.” Oswald looked at the Riddler with bemusement before sitting down. “What’s the occasion?”
Ed grinned mysteriously.
“In due time, Mr. Cobblepot. For now, enjoy your first course.” He pointed to the dish closest to Oswald’s seat. “The only savory finger foods I could find were cheese balls but I believe they’ll do the trick.”
Oswald chuckled and popped one of the cheese-flavored snacks into his mouth.
“You spoil me.”
~
After a few ‘courses’, Edward put on the air of a performer taking center stage.
“So, Oswald, you asked about the reason for this feast.”
“I did,” Oswald acknowledged, leaning lazily back in his seat, licking the bright yellow creme of a lemon flavored pastry off of his fingertips.
“Well,” the taller man began eagerly, “I was doing some thinking-”
“Hardly a surprise.”
Ed ignored the interruption. “-about our relationship.”
“Did you feed Edward?” Oswald interjected again, trying to quell the nerves suddenly manifesting in his stomach.
“No, Oswald, I let him starve.” The Riddler rolled his eyes. “Yes, I fed him. As I was saying-”
“Did you let him out? You know how he gets when-”
“Oswald!” Ed’s voice was kind but stern. “Our dog is fine, now would you please listen to me?”
“Of course. I’m sorry,” Oswald muttered, trying desperately to relax his suddenly tense muscles. “You were thinking.”
“Thank you. I was thinking about this thing we have going on,” Ed gestured between them. “and I realized… What do a blank calendar and an empty tree have in common?”
Oswald stared at him.
“They don’t have any dates!” Ed grinned.
A blush blossomed on Oswald’s cheeks and crept its way up to his ears.
“And while neither of us are particularly experienced in that area I figured, given our current living situation, it would be appropriate to set up a little something. When we get to the mainland I’ll take you somewhere truly fit for a king but until then I hope this will suffice.” He looked expectantly at Oswald. “What do you think?”
Oswald forced a smile onto his face, trying to ignore the tremors echoing through his body.
“That’s, it’s all very considerate. But Ed,” he implored, “we aren’t dating .”
Ed cocked his head to one side quizzically.
“What else would you call it?”
“I…” Oswald trailed off. What else could he call it? “A… business partnership?”
Ed cringed.
“You’re kidding.”
“I don’t know that I am.”
“Oswald,” Ed agonized. “We’re living together. ”
“That’s hardly any justification. We’ve lived together as long as we’ve been on good terms!”
“The dog?” Ed blinked at him.
“Mine,” Oswald clarified haughtily. “I wouldn’t trust anyone else with his care. He is much too precious.”
Ed scoffed. He skillfully caught Oswald’s gaze, his eyes a bright auburn in the candlelight. “What about when we kissed?”
Oswald’s eyes darkened to a steely blue, the shadows in the room darkening the expression on his face. Ed was playing a dangerous game, and from the look in his eyes, he knew it. The pit in Oswald’s stomach was only getting deeper, threatening to swallow him whole.
“Please don’t do this,” Oswald warned, feeling some dark, unnamed emotion well up in his throat. The flames around them danced dangerously. “You- we both know what will happen.”
Ed raised a challenging eyebrow.
“And what’s that?”
Oswald grimaced in response. “We’ve discussed this. These things never go well for us.” His voice was tight.
Ed frowned thoughtfully. For a few infinite seconds, the only sound was the crackling of the fireplace. A smile crept sneakily back into his eyes.
“Oswald,” he teased, “are you breaking up with me?”
The Penguin’s jaw dropped. “No, Ed, I could never-”
“A-ha!” Ed crowed in triumph. “I knew it!”
Oswald let out an exasperated sigh that evaporated into a sob. He rubbed his fingers over his temples to hide the tears threatening to fall down his face.
A hand found the one he’d left lying on the table and squeezed gently. As much as he wanted to resist, Oswald melted into the touch, running his thumb over the other man’s knuckles.
“I’m sorry,” Ed murmured. “I thought you’d like it.” He gingerly touched the back of Oswald’s other hand, asking for access. The Penguin obliged, pulling it away from his eyes and allowing Ed to envelop it in his warm grasp so both of their hands were intertwined. Oswald chuckled wetly at the sight.
“I did. That’s the problem.”
“What do you mean?” Ed looked at him quizzically. Oswald released a painful breath. It was harder to speak when he could see the other man’s face. He redirected his gaze to focus on a bookshelf to his left.
“I don’t want to lose you.”
Ed moved one of their hands to touch his cheek. Oswald flushed at the warmth. “I’m right here.”
Oswald shook his head.
“This is Gotham, Ed. If I… If I care about something… I can’t. It never goes well.”
“So what?”
Oswald reopened his eyes to peer at Ed.
“ So what ?” he parroted incredulously.
“You’re right. Things never end up well for us. Does that mean we shouldn’t try?”
Oswald’s jaw slackened. Ed looked beautiful in that moment, from the firelight reflecting tauntingly off of his glasses to the strawberry pink of his lips.
“Think about it,” Ed persuaded, “when have we accomplished the most?”
Oswald hesitated.
“When we’ve worked together,” Ed finished smugly.
“It would put you at a high risk.” Oswald’s solid resolve was melting. “You’d become a target.”
“Oh, please,” Ed rolled his eyes. “I’ve gotten myself arrested by the GCPD and captured by a secret society. I’m plenty of a risk to myself, thank you very much.”
Oswald stared into his lap.
“Everyone I’ve ever cared about has been taken from me on my account. I can’t let that happen again.”
“Oswald,” Ed croaked in a deeper voice than he’d used all evening, “I’ve already had to cope with losing you once. I can’t let that happen again. Not when you’re so close. Could you understand that?”
Hearing that admission felt like a cold wave washing over Oswald. He squeezed Ed’s hand more tightly. Ed squeezed back.
“I…” Oswald contemplated Ed’s expression. His face was painted in pain and hope. It felt like looking in a mirror. He had to look away. “I’m trying.”
Ed moved to hold both of Oswald’s hands in his own.
“That’s more than enough for me. Is it enough for you?” he asked delicately.
“It could be,” Oswald breathed unsteadily.
Ed hummed in assent and pressed a kiss to Oswald’s knuckle.
“In that case, your highness, would you do me the honor of going on a date with me?”
Oswald sighed, feeling all the tension melt from his body.
“Just this once.”
The grin that spread across Edward Nygma’s face at those three words was so bright that it could put entire galaxies to shame.
“Thank you,” he whispered into Oswald’s hands.
“Now, if you don’t mind, I need to get up,” he lamented, detangling his fingers from the Penguin’s. “The next course is getting cold.”