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It was the silver moonlight that woke him up from his slumber.
The light cast a play on the floor of his chambers, wavering and moving, the edges reaching the bottom of his bed and following upwards, directly on to his chest and his eye. The king squinted his good eye, his empty socket covered by the strands of his blonde, now slightly grayish, hair.
Dimitri was greeted by the spectacle of the natural phenomena, pulling him out of his dreamless rest. It lightened up his skin, let the old white scars appear silver and letting the shadows become clear on the silver. With a grunt, he rubbed his face, sighing deeply into his hand and draping his arm over his forehead, staring at the ceiling above him.
A small sound echoed from behind him, taking his attention at once and he looked over his shoulder. Byleth, his beloved wife, shifted in her sleep, the blanket tucked between her legs and her arms pulling her pillow underneath her head. She yawned in her sleep, her eyes opening a couple of centimeters and the sight of her green eyes let his heart drop once again.
Even after nearly twenty years of marriage, two decades after the war and his road back to sanity, he was still surprised to find her by his side, every day. Whether in presence, when she sat beside him in court and helped him to navigate their once struggling kingdom back to its glory after all the lives that were lost and the blood that was shed. Or when they sat side by side, watching their children grow from their little bundles of joy into their own persons, strong and wise and so much more than he was in their age.
Even when she went to Garreg Mach for a good part of the year to tend to her duties as archbishop, dealing with the churches across the continent as their head and taking care of the religious relations to other nations, she was with him in spirit and Dimitri always accounted himself to be too lucky for his own good.
Her voice, the only voice that could sooth him from his darkness and the one he missed the most whenever she was gone, was the thing that pulled him out of his thoughts of the past. “Dimitri?” Another yawn and she snuggled closer to her pillow. “Everything okay?”
So much time has passed and he let out a deep sigh. “My apologies. Have I woken you?” He turned around, faced his wife with the moonlight in his back. The scars of Duscur tingled all of a sudden, reaching deep into layers beneath the skins and setting it alight once more.
She blinked multiple times, her eyelashes letting her them flutter and the green of her eyes was hidden by her lids, a jaw-cracking yawn escaping her. “No worries. What about you?” She blinked again, trying to fight the sleep away from her eyes and he felt a pang of guilt stab through his chest. “What woke you up?”
He shrugged, setting his hand on the curve of her waist and tracing over the plump flesh that came as an aftermath of carrying three children. He drew patterns into her skins through the fabric of her nightwear, letting his hand wander to the small of her back and pulling her close to him. His wife let out a grunt, sneaking her arms around his torso and reflecting his actions. She let the tips of her fingers wander across his skin. “Just a fleeting thought. That’s all. I couldn’t sleep anymore.”
A sigh from her lips and he suddenly felt caught in an act that was supposed to be secretive. But that was Byleth – always the one to look right through his pleasant expression and finding the one thing that could make him possibly uncomfortable, doing her very best to make it better or even it out to get him back on track.
“Love.” Her left hand cupped his cheek, her legs started to entangle with his own. “This is about Elias, isn’t it?”
She caught him. Of course she did. The sight of her speaking about their oldest child and one of his sons always made his heart soar. The pride in her eyes was always a sight to behold, even when it embarrassed the blonde haired prince from a certain point on.
“I’m just lost in thoughts.”
“He’s only been gone for three days and he wanted to pick up Johanna from Gautier and Celio from Fraldarius. He hasn’t even reached the officer’s academy yet and you already worry so much.” Her thumb skimmed over his cheek, stroking his cheekbone and nearly touching his empty socket. Even after so many years, it still brought a pang of shame through his heart. “Love, he’s going to be alright. He has the knights with him, chosen personally by you, may I remind you.”
A smile on her lips and he let out a sigh, a chuckle following. “You’re right.”
“And Sylvain and Ingrid agreed to accompany them when he reached Gautier. So there is absolutely no need for concern. Sylvain would never allow anyone to harm his daughter and Ingrid is our best knight in the kingdom.”
“I know.”
Her eyebrows shot up and before he could react properly, she straddled his waist, leaned forward and rested her chest against his. She propped her chin right above his heart. “Tell me, love. What troubles you?”
His tongue was tied into a tight knot. His mind was blank and there was nothing to fill it. Simply the memories were a constant companion to pick him up. “I was just thinking about my own back then, when I’ve entered the officer’s academy. My uncle wanted me gone for a year and it was convenient for him that I reached a proper age to enter.”
Her expression didn’t change – the opposite. She lay her cheek on his heart, her hands folded beneath her chin and closed her eyes.
He rose his hands, reaches for her green hair, twirling a lock around his index finger and scratching her scalp. She mewled quietly, a distraction for the heavy things on his mind. “I’ve simply wished to get my revenge, that was my only reason to enter back then. To see that our oldest has entered the same place just brought back-”
His words were cut off, his breath hitching and he closed his eye, tracing patterns on his wife’s back. “-the nostalgia. Whenever I think about it, despite the events that transpired back then, it was the first good year after Duscur.”
Although nearly three decades have passed, it still hurt to think about it. But instead of an open wound that is still bleeding and the life seeping out of his veins, it was a pulse. Reminding him of the things that had happened but not capturing his attention at once. A voice in the background, communicating with him and reminding him of the reason he was still fighting. Maybe not with weapons, but his mind always did the best he could give.
“I want Elias to have a good year, to see new things and make his own experiences. To meet new people that could make him happy.”
“Well, look on the bright side: at least he’s rid of us this year.”
A laugh bloomed out of him, echoing through their chamber and repelling against the walls. “Beloved, that was rather cruel.”
“He is seventeen years old. I am sure one of his reasons to look forward to this year was the imagination that we’re not with him and he can do whatever he wants.” She shrugged, nuzzling his skin. “I wouldn’t hold it against him. He’s a young man and he wants to have his freedom for once, without us being in the background and watching him.”
“You will be with him during a part of the year.”
“Just until the goddess's rite of rebirth in the Blue Sea Moon. And I act as the archbishop, not as queen and his mother.” Her fingers traced his arm and he felt the air escape his lungs in one fell swoop. “He’ll be fine, Dimitri. I made sure to tell him that he writes to you every now and then.”
“Beloved-” His mouth was tied to a knot, his voice losing all the possible tones and his lips all the words that he could speak in this moment. He opened his mouth, wished to speak, but she pressed one of her fingers against his mouth.
“Hush.” She leaned forward, trapping his head between her arms and leaning down. She kissed him, a simple peck, but all air escaped his lungs and he caught her hair in a fist, his other arm wrapping around her waist and pulling her close to him. A giggle escaped his wife and a breathless sound from him. “Elias will be okay. He’s a bright young man, that being inherited that from you.” A peck on his nose. “May I remind you that we also need to get through that year again twice? When Sophie and Michael are old enough to enter the academy?”
He groaned, earning a laugh from his wife. “That’s still a couple of years away from us.”
“Well, it’s Sophie’s turn in two years and Michael’s in four. We weren’t really lazy back then-”
Another giggle and a yelp when he flipped her, trapping her beneath him. He kissed her, long and hard, catching her bottom lip between his teeth and drawing out a moan from the woman underneath him. “What am I ever going to do with you, beloved.”
“I hope only the best. Or what do you say, your majesty?” She tilted her head, smiling cheekily at him and laughed when drew her nightgown over her head and hushed her laughs and giggles with his mouth, making her moan instead.
When they fell asleep, the silver moonlight was taken away from the beginning of dawn at the horizon.
13 th Great Tree Moon 1205
Dear father,
I apologize for not writing you. I must admit, I am surprised at how tiring this whole journey was – first to House Fraldarius and then to House Gautier to meet up with Celio and Johanna to get to the Officer’s academy. We’ve arrived two weeks ago and to this point, it has been nothing but a surprise for me. There are so many different people here with different backgrounds and it is a whole new thing to explore the monastery as a student this time – I’ve been coming here since I was two years old but it is unlike any experience I have until now.
Uncle Felix and Aunt Annette told me to give you their regards – you should have seen how they saw Celio off. With Johanna as well, although it was a bit more dramatic. Uncle Sylvain began to cry when we reached the monastery and Aunt Ingrid had to do her best to drag him away to let her go. That said, thank you for allowing me to travel on my own, father. Although I know that it may not give the best impression, I am grateful that you allowed me.
Besides, there was something I wished to ask you: do you remember much from your time at the officer’s academy? Mother used to gush about the food, even back when I was a child and the first meal in the monastery was good as she once described it. It felt unaccustomed to sit with my classmates at a table, without any servants or knights buzzing around me and watching my every move. Please do not think that I do not like my life back home, but I must admit that this change of pace is nice. I can be just myself without the title of prince following me. We are all equals here and our professor also stressed that; we have way more commoners than back then, at least according to what mother told me, and our professor made an oath that he would never try to divide our grades by our origins. We have so many talented individuals here, it’s amazing. We have a circus artist, a musician, a young boy from the school of sorcery back home, a girl from a village who received a scholarship because of her outstanding talents. I’m truly happy that I will study and learn with them until next year.
The only thing that is unnerving me a bit is the usage of my title among my classmates – they insist on calling me ‘your highness this’ and ‘your highness that’ and it is really stressing. I do not know if you experienced the same, but if you do, do you have any tips to make them stop? I’m a little bit helpless, to be honest, since I do not want them to call me that. I am just Elias here, not a prince.
At the end of the moon, we will experience a mock battle between the three houses. It is intimidating, but I understand that it’s an opportunity for the faculty to evaluate our strengths and weaknesses. I hope I can make you proud in writing into my next letter that the Blue Lions have won the mock battle and set an example for all the years before us. I can assure you that Celio is the one to look forward the most. We already made a bet on who will gain the best grades and whose training will benefit more.
I look forward to write you about all the events happening here father. I will be fine, there is no need to worry about me.
Stay safe, father. Please send my regards to Sophie and Michael. I hope everything is alright home and I will look after mother. Mother may be an exceptional warrior, but if I can be an aid to her, I will do my very best.
In love,
Elias Rodrigue Blaiddyd