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Was it foolish to be envious of your own daughter?
Byleth realized it wasn't envy. It wasn't jealousy either. It was a weird feeling spreading through her chest, creating a friction in the valley of her breasts and filled the space where her heart was supposed to beat with a bittersweet burn. To watch both her husband and their daughter, the second and only girl of their three children, in such a heartwarming position should fill her with motherly pride.
Her daughter, her little Sophie, was such a beautiful girl. With long golden hair that reached the middle of her back, big azure eyes that were filled with determination and quick wits. A sharp jaw, but soft and fragile hands. A curve in her chin that betrayed a certain cheekiness and a voice that commanded the attention of so many at once.
The queen and archbis- no, she wasn't the archbishop on those evenings. She was the queen, the wife to the king, the mother of the three lion cubs, lady of Castle Blaiddyd in Fhridiad. She was here to watch the princess dance with the king, being a witness of the sweet moment of father and daughter sharing their first official dance together.
Princess Sophie was probably the most awaited member of the court to finally reach the age of sixteen. From rumors she had heard among the servants, she was considered kind, intelligent and very capable of making plans. The older servants and maids spoke of the similarities between the king and the princess, back when Dimitri was in her age, while the younger ones whispered of her never ending patience and readiness to help.
A noble and princess through and through. But with the last sixteen years, all three of her kids hadn't only received the abilities and skills that were required to be a proper member of the royal family – music, art, courtesy, dancing, rhetoric, manners, balance, knowledge about the political, economical and ecological situation in Fódlan – but also the things Byleth had been taught in her own childhood - “Never speak to strangers”, “Be considerate of the people around you”, “Make sure to treat everyone with the respect a human deserves”.
Watching them made Byleth seriously wonder.
What would Jeralt say about this?
For every boy and girl in Fódlan noblity, the day of someone's sixteenth birthday marks a big milestone in one's life. It is the day when they are finally ready to enter society's gatherings, marking their beginning as adults and giving them the chance to actively influence and participate in political situations. Only in the rarest cases were the youths allowed to participate beforehand.
Byleth could still remember her oldest son's birthday party: the amount of well-wishes from others, the amount of presents he had received and the way his smile was so incredibly uncertain and awkward through the entire evening. The boyish look on his face when his best friends congratulated him, the little red hue on his cheeks when Dimitri started to tell stories about his childhood without even thinking once about his reaction or the laugh that escaped him when he stood together with his younger siblings. Two years ago, he had asked her to share his first dance with him and filled with pride and nostalgia, she had agreed.
But now, it was her daughter's turn. Sophie stood prepared next to her father, wearing a deep blue gown with white accents around her waist and chest. Her blonde hair was pulled up to a high bun with a white rose put into the hem and her smile let the rest of her little jewelry seem cheap and unnecessary.
When the music started, both king and princess entered the dance floor.
Right on the cue when the music started, a presence approached her from the left and she heard the voice of her dearest advisor enter her ear in a comforting way. “Is something amiss, your grace?”
She should shake her head at the question, but the queen didn't. She refused internally. “Seteth,” She whispers with bated breath, watching how the soothing music accompanied their steps with no hesitation. “How does it feel?”
He stepped a little bit closer, no one noticing them. All eyes were lying on King Dimitri and Princess Sophie and Byleth wouldn't want it any other way. It was her evening, after all. “I'm afraid I am not sure if I follow.”
“To share a dance with your daughter as her father.”
The queen couldn't deny the little note of bitterness on her tongue or the way her voice contradicted in her throat. Both of them were missing an important component in comparison to the happy duo on the dance floor.
She was a daughter without a father.
He was a father without a daughter.
She listened to his gulp, heard the hitch in his breath, but Seteth was Seteth – always so quick to regain composure. It's been years since Flayn disappeared and the only thing Byleth knew was that she was alive and well.
“It is a marvelous feeling, your grace.” Byleth was no fool – she heard the cracking note, but decided to not dwell on it. “To watch them grow, to watch them become their own person with ambitions, hope and dreams, is simply a feeling that every parent will feel once in their life. The idea of them spreading their wings and finally enter this world to live their own life.” From the corner of her eyes, she saw the look in his orbs: reminiscing. Thinking about the past. “When I've first danced with Flayn, the only thought I've bore was how much she has grown.”
He regained composure. “I am sure the king doesn't feel different in this moment.”
“Perhaps,” she agreed, watching with delight when her husband whispered something unaudible and Sophie couldn't hide her smile. “I wonder, Seteth...” Her whisper was only for them. “Will I ever forget these kind of moments?”
The air between them froze. Such a lovely moment, such a wonderful evening, all dedicated for the girl she had carried in her womb for nine months and had given birth to her on a calm morning in the Great Tree Moon. When all of her kids were little, barely able to walk or speak, all she ever did was watch them. Watch them grow, watch them learn, watch them do.
Will she ever forget?
“Despite your fears, Byleth, I can assure you.” Seteth spoke with the love of a father and Byleth felt home. “These are moments you will never forget. No matter how much time will pass, they will always stay with you.”
Did Jeralt ever have these doubts? Did he ever look at her and wonder what would have happened if he had lived and she wouldn't have received those powers?
With bated breath and a cruel whisper, the queen voiced her thoughts.
“I truly hope so.”
Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd's and Felix Hugo Fraldarius' bond was similar to the one of brothers. Once times have looked different, but twenty years after the end of the war, they have regained their bond as close friends.
Whenever Felix and Annette visited Fhridiad, the routine between the king and duke were the same. A long spar followed by a long talk with a bottle of wine to accompany them.
But something broke this routine. Or rather, two persons standing in front of them. While Dimitri and Byleth sat on one couch, Annette had taken a seat with Felix standing right behind her.
To be honest, the queen was already expecting something like this. The little looks, the long talks, the refusals of spending time with someone else. From Annette's look, she was sure that she wasn't the only one catching up to it.
“We both wished to ask you for something.” Celio Iwein Fraldarius cleared his throat, folding his arms behind his back and trying to look as regal as possible. To watch him fail with a light blush on his cheeks was something Byleth hadn't expected to see. He was his father's son, after all.
“We've wanted to inform you first before we announced it publicly.” The message was clear, especially considering the proximity between the princess and future Duke Fraldarius.
Both took a deep breath. The ladies were waiting, the men were blinking owlishly.
“We've decided to get married.”
A moment of silence. And just like she expected it, both Dimitri and Felix lost their faces while Annette cheered.
“Say what?!”
Sophie simply smiled. Celio tried to remain calm. But the red hint on both their cheeks told a whole new language.
“We've wished to ask for your blessing.”
“And you will have it!” Still having that youthful glee, Annette shot up from her seat, reaching for the princess and hugging her tightly. “Welcome to the family!”
“Annette-”
Byleth followed suit, folding her hands. “It's nice to see that it's official now.” She smiled at the young man, the same age as her oldest son and tilted her head. “Welcome to the family.”
“Beloved, please-”
But both her husband and Felix were not capable to stand against them. They may be the most powerful men in Faerghus, but this is one of the few situations they are powerless.
But despite the happiness and joy, Byleth felt a heavy tug on her heart.
Over twenty years ago, she had done the same with Dimitri. Back then, they had announced it to their former comrades, the other Blue Lions. They had drunk away the night, partied until dawn and celebrated the beginning of a new era. So many people have been happy for them.
She considered the former Blue Lions to be her family. Felix, Annette, Sylvain, Ingrid, Dedue, Mercedes, Ashe, Dimitri. Those who have taught her how to smile, who taught her how to feel emotions, how to feel something in her non-beating heart.
But back then, she had other family. And even though she still received letters from the old mercenaries, some already retired, there was someone missing. The one who had started this flood in her chest.
When the announcement of Princess Sophie and Lord Celio to unite in marriage, the court was elevated. A lady of Blaiddyd and a son of Fraldarius. “The goddess must have blessed us,” the nobles said. “I am sure Loog and Kyphon are smiling at us from their rest,” the historians cheered. “What a day to be alive,” the people told.
Of course, there were some people who had trouble adjusting to this change: especially the king and the crown prince. Duke Fraldarius was easily swayed, although it took some time for him to accept the fact that the daughter of his oldest friend will become the partner of his oldest son.
Dimitri on the other hand, was a little bit more difficult.
“It's not that I don't trust him, Byleth.” Lying side by side in bed, it was one of the topics in their talks. Byleth rolled her eyes, reaching for his hand and intertwining them. “I know Celio is a respectable man and he only wants the best for her.”
“To add,” Byleth started and she couldn't help herself but carress the frown from his face, her fingers skimming through his scalp and his jaw, “He is a formidable warrior, wears his heart on his sleeve and has such a big heart. I think if there is someone who can take the best care of her, it's him.”
“I know that. He's been with us since he was born.”
For a moment, she looked at his face and knew he remembered all those moments whenever his future son-in-law visited the capital. He and their oldest were best friends, their respective third and second brother and two peas in a pod.
“Then what is ailing you so?” Cupping his cheek in her hand, she caressed the area under his eye with care. “You hadn't been so resistant when Elias and Johanna told us the news. You've been so happy for them.”
“Of course I am.” Letting out a deep sigh, the king sunk deeper into the mattress and cupped her wrist. Turning to meet her, he locked their fingers. It felt like back in the days, when they were newlyweds and talking away the nights when their nightmares caught up to them.
“Then why?”
He took his time, playing with her wedding band, pressing kisses against her fingertips, making her melt. “It's our little girl,” he finally whispered and her breath hitched. “Our princess. And she will move to Fraldarius when they got married. To know that she isn't here anymore is-”
“I understand. You don't need to say anything anymore.” Taking their locked hands, she pressed them against the top of her chest. The reaction was visible: a sigh of relief. “But I'm asking you to not forget that Felix and Annette are with her as well. There are so many people looking after her and she will never be truly alone. Besides, there will always be a spot for her here at the castle.”
Dimitri closed his eye.
“We will not always be her priority. Change belongs to life and it is time for Sophie to pull through with this change.”
Her husband nodded. He looked so lost in thought and Byleth feared she spoke the wrong words. Though the fear passed when she saw the smile bloom on his chapped lips. “It seems your wisdom is the thing I can always count ont.”
“We've been married for over twenty years, love.” Chuckling, Byleth hummed when he drew her into his arms and lock and key were once again present. “Have you ever doubted me?”
“Never.” The response was quick and clear and it made her chest go soft.
The night continued on, Dimitri getting the sleep of the blessed with Byleth right by his side. But she couldn't sleep, couldn't try to chase the land of dreams. Instead, she looked at the band on her finger and wondered.
What would Jeralt have thought about her marriage to Dimitri?
Her daughter was a beautiful bride. She took the breaths of all witnesses in the cathedral of Fhirdiad away with a singe look.
Standing in the first row, she looked at her husband and daughter. From far away, she recognized the tears in Dimitri's eye and Sophie otherworldly smile.
The king led her down the aisle with Celio accepting his bride's hand and a deep bow to the king.
It was a joyous occasion. Her daughter was happy. This was the most wonderful day of her life.
But strangely and with mix of envy, resignation and regret, Byleth has rarely felt this alone.
Years passed. The flow of time continued on. And while her river may seem to never-end, Dimitri's destination was in close sight. It would finally be the moment that connected mother and daughter in time's cruel and twisted way.
The death of their beloved father.
After decades of ruling justly over Fódlan, every great king's time was bound to come to an end. With a cynical pang through her body, Byleth was curious to know if her husband's name and title as “Savior king” would ever reach the status of legends.
Although with the way he carried himself, filled with dignity and pride, but so much kindness and modesty, she knew it was true. Her husband was always meant to be a king, a leader, a light in the endless dark. He was a friend, a father, a husband, a king. So many things in one person and Byleth couldn't help herself but smile when she saw his weakening form. No human should have to carry such weight on their shoulders for too long.
Death was cruel. Death was final. But death was also kind and full of mercy.
Hearing her children's sobs nearly shattered her inhuman heart. They were weeping, their partners trying so hard to be the pillar they needed in those dark times.
“Dimitri,” she whispered, his head on her lap, caressing his silver locks. “Were you happy?”
He opened his healthy eye, the blue tone slowly fading into nothingness. He forsook his eye patch, the scar on his right side withered down and only a thin white line visible. Powerless and yet so powerful, Byleth shook her head and continued to caress his hair. She only watched how his power left him.
He looked at her. So much boyish love, such strong feelings for a creature like her. They have found and lost each other, built something together with a foundation strong enough to survive any catastrophe or dark cloud on the horizon.
Dimitri smiled. Happily.
Byleth kissed his forehead. Rested hers against his, grasping his hands tightly in hers.
Minutes later, the king took his last breath.
The king's funeral was a simple and small event. That much was organized by the queen and her three children. His former comrades were present, his family and those people who have meant the world to him.
All three of her children gave speeches. Her oldest, soon to be crowned prince Elias, stepped forward as the first. “He was the best father I could have ever asked for.” A rueful smile bloomed on his lips and the tears streamed down his face. “He was kind, considerate. I am sure most of you will know that his nickname for me was 'El'.” He paused, tried to regain his composure. “I truly hope the person whose nickname I'm carrying will greet him openly on the other side.”
Her youngest, Prince Michael, held his speech short and precise. From the way his lips shivered, she knew why. “My father was strong. He did his best to ensure that Fódlan has a bright future. And I am sure that my siblings and I will do the very best to keep this momentum that our father has built with my mother.”
The last was her daughter. Now, both of them were daughters without fathers.
“I think there is not much to say what my brothers haven't already mentioned. So I simply ask all of you to reminisce about one thing.” Her daughter, her beautiful girl, now a mother on her own, smiled. A watery smile, filled with tears but so out of the depths of her heart, that Byleth knew.
She understood.
“He was a man who loved his family. My father loved us, loved our mother and even when some things were difficult for him, he only wanted the best for us. I truly pray that the goddess gives him the chance to find his peace by her side.”
Oh, how fate was cruel.
Both queen and princess shared a look. The deep ocean blues of the dead king and the bright green eyes of the goddess. Time was lost in that moment.
They shared this instance. Both their hearts were filled with deep sorrow. Mourning their father's death was a task that fell to them.
And with realization and the illusion that her heart could beat, Byleth started to smile.
“Thank you, my child.”
She was truly proud of her daughter.