Chapter Text
"It's a most distressing affliction to have a sentimental heart and a skeptical mind." - Naguib Mahfouz
Kurenai wasn't supposed to be Kurenai.
I know you are confused. Perfectly understandable. So am I, to be honest.
Allow me to explain.
Picture a factory. A huge one that goes on for miles. Different products are made in it. Some important, some trivial. Some cater to quirky individuals, others satisfy snobs. Some are quality, others not so much.
Imagine you are one of the products. A product that doesn't have a fanbase. A product people look at and think If only it was this way or did [insert things here] I would have bought it then. It would have been my favourite. So much wasted potential. You are a product who is lucky to make it to the shelves.
When you do, people rarely take notice of you. And if they somehow do it...they are anything but impressed. You are a product who's pretty to look at, though. Some would even go as far as to call you beautiful.
But you don't amount to much in the end.
Kurenai Yuhi is that product.
Or better said, she used to be. I'm certain that someone up there just made a huge mistake.
I wasn't supposed to get involved in a shounen anime/manga. I wasn't supposed to be the replacement of that product's initial core. I should have died, period. And yet, here I am.
Still confused?
Yeah, me too.
Whatever imbecile had thought making me Kurenai Yuhi was a good idea clearly hadn't done his homework.
I am lazy.
Now, I know how that sounds. Lazy is the go-to word many teenagers use to labell themselves as. But I?
I am the worst case of laziness. Just ask my mother. She'd love to tell you all about it.
So yeah, whatever omnipotent being had thought "hey, let's make Alicia Rosewood Kurenai Yuhi" would be a good idea clearly didn't hear ex-mom complain.
Forget boring products who rarely get taken off the shelf. I will end up in a dusty corner of the factory. Making an already overlooked character even more overlooked takes some serious skill.
Or in my case, no skill at all.
I can almost hear you guys thinking. 'People would kill to be in your shoes. You have to get off your ass and change the plot, do something important, kick butt and become great.'
Yeah...no.
Just imagining the amount of blood, sweat and tears those feats would require is enough to give me a headache.
And to push me into taking another nap.
If my new mother was content to let me sleep and do little else (the irony didn't fail on me), my father was a different story.
"Kurenai-chan." he called out, trying to get me out of bed. By now, it had become a ritual.
My reaction?
I rolled over, looked him straight in the eyes, eyes similar to my own, and replied.
"No."
Then I resumed my favorite position and prayed the man would just get the hint already. I considered playing the role of a retarded daughter, mirror the way Lucius "Brutus" had faked his own so, he could escape the king's rage.
His stunt was one of the biggest 'fuck yous' the Ancient World had ever seen. Not only did he manage to fool everyone, but he eventually overthrew the king and founded the Roman Republic, becoming one of its consuls.
I was lazy, not ambitious, though. Besides, you had to join the shinobi ranks to become Hokage. Ancient Rome, before it became an empire, required its consuls (two men who co-ruled together) to be schoolars, to be persuasive and smart. You could have lived your entire life without picking up a sword. No one cared.
And because there are things to be learned from history...I don't understand why the Hokage is picked based on brawn and not on brains. Not that any of the Hokages were stupid. I get the importance of having a strong political figure, a shiny weapon to be dangled in front of the other ninja villages.
But isn't that what the jinchuuriki are for? If people focused on their mental health, on training them properly, on EXPLAINING what resides inside them instead of letting the poor kids find out on their own and risk having a tailed beast on the loose...I believe the world would be a better place.
Then again, the world Kishi had built wasn't meant to be logical or good. It was supposed to be flawed and horryfying, to make you root for the underdogs, to make you care for Naruto and Sasuke and Lee and Neji and Obito and Kakashi.
I know many people have complained about Naruto's talk-no-jutsu and how unrealistic it is.
I beg to disagree.
Let us rewind time a little and allow history to give us another lesson. Think about all the important figures who have changed the world in some way or another. Think about the hundreds of admirers and followers they had.
Barack Obama, Princess Diana, Dalai Lama and Martin Luther King probably come to mind.
They were/are people's persons. Empathy, compassion, carisma...the ability to make you believe in them and in what they are saying...
That's their super-power. That's what made them great, what made them inspire others. The speeches they held...
"It's unrealistic that a person like Naruto exists in the ninja world."
Exceptions are a thing. And I assure you, just like there was only one Dalai Lama...
There is only one Uzumaki Naruto.
He is smarter than people give him credit for, too. So, even if I were ambitious enough, or reborn as Sasuke or as someone else who could challenge Naruto for the position...
I wouldn't.
I do pray he gets one hell of an adviser, though. Politics are a different kind of battlefield entirely.
My plan was simple, really. Avoid the Ninja Academy, if I could. If not, become a genin and stay one. I'd sit back and watch Naruto achieve his dream; maybe even treat him to ramen afterwards, who knows.
I would not, under any circumstances, get involved in that mess people called 'plot.'
"Come on, Kurenai-chan. Humor your tou-san a little." Shinku Yuhi, my father, lamented, pulling me back to the present.
My eye twitched.
Doesn't he have genin and chunin to train?
Like, you know, people who actually want to do something with their lives? For a grown man and seasoned shinobi, Shinku was behaving like a child who didn't get his way.
"Fake tears." I said flatly, not really impressed by his performance.
"She got you there, Anata." My mother, Keiko Yuhi, spoke up from her place on the doorway. "Let the poor child sleep."
Tou-san whipped his head around to face her. "Poor child?" his eye twitched. Aa, that's where I get it from. "All she does is sleep!" he exclaimed, indignant.
His teatrics didn't work on kaa-san either. "Yeah, well, she is only two." she put her hands on her hips. "What did you expect?"
"I expected a little more love."
It took me every shred of self-control I had not to snort.
Can he get any more dramatic?
I looked between the two of them and sighed.
"Tou-san."
"Yes, sweetie?"
"Hug. I wanna a hug."
I kid you not. He shed real tears this time, holding me like I was the most precious thing in the world.
My eyes stung, kaa-san smiled and I decided being reborn in a fictional world wasn't so bad.
I'm three years old when Obito and his mother visit us. I shouldn't be shocked. Kurenai had been part of his generation, after all. I suppose it was wishful thinking, believing that I'd be able to avoid him and the rest.
Doesn't mean I'm not gonna try, though.
"Kurenai-chan will break many hearts, Keiko. I can see it." Obito's mother winked and gushed. "Three year olds aren't supposed to be this beautiful!"
"My daughter has only one love and it is sleep. I don't see that changing any time soon so, I will agree with you." Kaa-san smiled and ran her fingers through my hair. "She is. Thank you for your kind words, Ayano."
The woman waved a hand in dismissal. "I call'em like I see them. How have you been?"
"Good, I can't complain. Kurenai-chan was such a quiet baby." Keiko frowned, deep in thought. "She never really cried, come to think of it. I'd wake up sometimes to check on her, make sure she was still breathing."
"Lucky." she commented. "Obito-kun keeps me on my toes. I can't take my eyes off him without something happening." she told her meaningfully, eyeying the boy in question.
A sigh escaped my mother's lips.
"I wish Kurenai-chan would cause trouble sometimes. She is just so mature for her age."
Uchiha Ayano shrugged.
"Maybe she feels like she has to behave in your presence. Let her around other children and see what happens."
Obito chose that exact moment to pull at my sleeve. "Let's play." he demanded with all the authority of a toddler.
"Play by yourself." I retorted.
Keiko's eyes widened as she scolded me. "Kurenai-chan! That wasn't very nice."
My flat response "Wasn't trying to." prompted her to sweatdrop.
"See what I mean?" she asked her friend.
The Uchiha woman looked at me for a long moment before taking a sip from her cup of tea.
"Did she...witness anything that could have possibly traumatized her?"
Kaa-san shook her head negatively, visibly troubled.
"Not that I know of, no."
Obito made a sad face.
"Don't wanna play."
Then he started crying so loudly you'd think I had just murdered his pet or something equally terrible. My mother gave me a stern look while Ayano picked up her son, trying to comfort him.
Despite my better judgement, I spoke.
"Obito."
He sniffed, face pressed into his mother's neck. Damn him for being so adorable and...harmless. That's what struck me the most.
"What, meanie?"
I sighed. Guess I just earned a nickname.
"I will play with you."
His crying ceased, just like that. He stared at me with big, puffy red eyes.
"Really?"
It should be illegal to sound that hopeful.
I surpressed a groan.
The last thing I needed was to get involved with Obito, the guy who'd go on to become the perfect victim for Madara to sink his fangs into. I didn't want a future villain as my friend. I didn't want to suffer the loss of someone who I already knew to be doomed.
Well, it's not like playing with him this one time would help develop a bond of that sort...right?
"Yes."
My plan to stay as far away from the plot as possible got squashed like a bug. It occurred to me, as I watched a younger Hiashi Hyuga walk the streets...that I couldn't just sit on my ass and have the plot turn out the same.
Even small pebbles cause ripples. There were so many things I didn't know about Kurenai. Had she saved anyone important during her time as genin, chunin and jonin? Were the missions she got sent on crucial for the well-being of Konohagakure?
I had no clue. What I did know, however...was the role Kurenai had played in Hinata's life. She also taught Team 8...
Those were all important things to consider; things that I should have thought of earlier.
In hindsight, the solution seemed simple enough. Follow the little script you have. Get off your ass, become a ninja, survive until adulthood, take Hinata under your wing, become Team 8's jonin sensei and don't get them killed.
I could get behind all of them. They were...reasonable. Kurenai's relationship with Asuma was something else, however. I had no moral (or plot) obligations in regards to that. Besides, who Kurenai had been and who she was now courtesy of my rebirth were two very different persons. The probability of Asuma developing feelings for this version of Kurenai were slim. In any case, I wouldn't be dating anyone.
Death followed shinobi around much like a second shadow would. I refused to willingly sign myself up for heartache. Or be the reason why somebody else did. So, there was that.
"Kure-chan." Obito's childlike voice brought me back to the present. "Will you become a ninja?"
He might as well have asked me if I would be giving up my freedom, selling my soul and giving my life for the village.
I looked at him, at the way innocence seemed to have made a permanent home out of the Uchiha's eyes. An illusion. Those eyes would bring havoc and destruction in the future. They were destined to kill.
I knew that. I had watched Obito unleash Ten Tails and start a war.
It was hard to reconcile the two, the masked-man and the chibi wearing goggles. I wanted to shake Obito by the shoulders and suggest another career path, something that would take him far away from bloodshed and the cruelty of witnessing your best friend kill the love of your life.
I stayed silent. The Uchiha were born soldiers. It was in their blood. Nothing I said would stop Obito. If anything, it might only encourage him further.
The thought of killing him had also crossed my mind. We could go to a lake. I'd push him into the water. He'd drown and no one would be the wiser.
"Friends don't leave each other alone." Obito declared all of a sudden, grinning. "Let's be ninja together, Kure-chan!"
My eyes widened.
I felt like scum.
The end justifies the means. True. I couldn't agree more. But, nothing would justify me drowning a three-year-old boy who looked at me as though I was his favorite person in the world.
"Hai. Let's do our best, ne, Obito?"
The young Uchiha flashed me a brilliant smile that showed all of his teeth. He hugged me tightly. It was the first time I actually acknowledged him and accepted the friendship he had so graciously offered.
Before I knew it, I was neck-deep in the plot with no intention of getting out whatsoever.