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Crowley lifted his glass at Aziraphale’s direction. “To the world,” said the demon.
“To the world,” said Aziraphale before slightly hitting the demon’s glass with his own.
The angel took a sip of his drink as he sent little loving glares at Crowley, who kept looking straight at Aziraphale as always.
Aziraphale leaned at the demon’s direction with a mischievous smile on his lips. “Oh, Crowley! I just can’t stop wishing that you could’ve seen the faces those demons made when you didn’t melt in that tub like they’ve planned.”
“Tell me everything, Angel,” said Crowley.
“Oh, no, you first, my dear. I gave you some already but you hadn’t given me a single clue about how it went in Heaven,” said Aziraphale truly curious.
The angel sipped his drink one more time while he observed the demon, who seemed to be wondering if or what he would tell the other.
Crowley gave one of his demonic smirks, one of those he’d use when he was pleased with a bad job well done. “I breathed fire on their faces,” he told the angel.
Aziraphale looked surprised and amazed at the same time. “You didn’t.”
“I did,” Crowley assured him. “Right at Gabriel’s direction. It didn’t hit but they might have nightmares with you, even if they don’t sleep.”
“In any other circumstance, my dear, I would strongly disapprove your attitude. However, today, I shall thank you.”
“Come on, Angel! I should be the one thanking you for making trouble in hell in my name and messing up with the bosses, no less.”
They laughed, each one imagining their respective bosses terrified of them, then, slowly their laughs subsided. Crowley dropped his head a little and stared at his cup on the table. “We did it, didn’t we?”
“Yes, dear, we did it.”
“Until the next Armageddon comes,” reminded the demon gloomy.
“Yes,” agreed the angel.
Aziraphale silently gave some thought to how much time they might have until the next Armageddon. Will it be more six thousand years? Will humanity do it on its own? After all, it didn’t seem so far from it. For how long would he be able to stay at their own side in peace without having to worry about the end of the world, the end of them?
“Crowley, would you come to my bookshop with me?” Aziraphale asked without looking at Crowley, still half-concentrated on his thoughts.
“Sure, Angel,” replied the demon quickly a little surprised with the request. “I’m an unemployed demon now. My agenda is empty.”
That made the angel smile for a moment then he thought he was an unemployed angel. What was he supposed to do from now on? Just whatever he wanted? It was quite terrifying and exciting at the same time. However, first things first. He had something to discuss with Crowley, which required somewhere private. That was why he asked the demon to go to his bookshop. He would take care of that, then, he would throw himself at the issue of what he would be doing with his life without Heaven’s missions and orders.
Crowley paid the bill and they walked to the angel’s bookshop in silence. The demon was getting nervous in anticipation of what the angel wanted by asking him to go his bookshop. Aziraphale looked a bit down, which he couldn’t understand why very well. The demon was processing all the events of the last days and even more of the last hours, but he couldn’t be feeling more free and relieved. He thought Aziraphale should be feeling the same, but there was something disturbing the angel’s peace of mind.
At the bookshop, they walked straight to the back room where they usually had their talks over wine, which Aziraphale went to grab a bottle as Crowley got himself comfortable by sprawling at the angel’s couch.
Aziraphale returned with the wine and two glasses, poured some of the drink on one glass and offered it to Crowley, who thanked the other with a nod. The angel poured some wine for himself and sat at his favorite armchair across the demon.
The demon sipped his wine while observing Aziraphale, who was only grabbing his glass with both hands as if he was holding for dear life. The angel’s eyes where unfocused but fixed somewhere on the floor between them. Crowley wanted to ask what was wrong, but held back for the other. He could see the angel trying to decide how to start that conversation, so he kept his curiosity and worry at bay, ready to give Aziraphale as much time as he would need.
“Crowley, I need to apologize to you,” said Aziraphale still looking at the ground.
“Apologize? What for, Angel?” asked Crowley confused.
“For all the times I denied our friendship or said that I don’t like you or accused you for terrible things the humans were responsible for. All the times I hurt your feelings by assuming the worst just because you are a demon, although, I know you are not like the others. I’m so, so sorry, Crowley!” apologized the angel raising his head and looking at the demon’s direction though not at him exactly.
“There’s no need of that, Angel! I know you didn’t mean it,” said Crowley trying to sound cool and comforting at the same time.
“I’m glad you know, but I do need to apologize!” insisted Aziraphale. “You are the most important person to me, Crowley, and from now on, I will say so to whoever is willing to hear me and also to those who isn’t. Whenever someone calls you my friend, I won’t deny it. I won’t deny that I like you. I won’t deny that we have known each other and helped each other for so long. I will show them my pride and gratitude for having you with me… on our side. Oh, my dear, I’m so sorry for what I said at the bandstand!”
“Angel, please, stop that. I know all those things already. Why do you think I still came back to you twice after our meeting at the bandstand? You were forcing yourself so much it made me feel bad for pushing it. I thought about giving you some time to cool off but Hell found out about me and things got quite crazy.”
“I still needed to say it all aloud anyway,” said Aziraphale once again dropping his head. The angel had that look as if he was about to cry, feeling needy and lonely, silently asking for a hug though unable to voice it.
Crowley have been watching the angel long enough to recognize some signals, especially those regarding what the other wanted or needed but would never ask. “Aziraphale, come here,” said Crowley as he got up putting his glass aside on a nearby table and opening his arms.
Aziraphale put his own drink at the table, got up from his armchair and practically launched himself over Crowley eagerly for the hug.
“I accept your apologies but you have to stop apologizing for all those things you did because you were afraid of what might have happened if any of our former sides had found out about us,” said the demon rubbing the angel’s back in a soothing move.
“I have always felt so bad about it, dear,” confessed the angel. “You didn’t deserve it. Every time I would see my words had hurt you, —“
“Shush. It was only at first, Angel, then I would see that you didn’t mean it and you were already sorry, although you couldn’t say it.”
“That’s precisely why I’m doing it now! I should have done it sooner, actually, but we still had that last puzzle to solve… I’m so glad you accept my apologies, Crowley! It’s such a relief!”
“I had accept them even before you spoke, Angel. Feeling better now?” asked Crowley getting away from the angel only enough to allow them to look at each other.
“Absolutely, dear, thank you,” said the angel finally looking at the other’s eyes – actually sunglasses.
They stared at each other in silence for longer than usual then Crowley swallowed hard and cleared his throat.
“Now it’s my turn, Angel,” said the demon sounding slightly afraid and nervous. “There’s something I have been crazy to tell you… Well, to tell you with words, ‘cause I’m sure you know already. You are the most intelligent person I have ever met, after all. So, the thing is…”
Crowley cleared his throat again.
“What I want to say is… Gotta say… Arg! Why is it so hard?!”
Crowley broke the hug and moved away from Aziraphale exasperated with himself. The angel stayed still only observing the other, patiently waiting for Crowley to continue.
The demon paced in front of the angel while trying to start a sentence he could finish, but all his attempts were fruitless.
Why couldn’t he say it? It had been stuck on his throat for millennia and now he just couldn’t say it! Crowley even dreamed with the day he would be able to finally – finally! – tell the angel and now… the words seemed to deny themselves from leaving his mouth!
“Crowley, dear, if I may suggest…,” said the angel feeling bad for the demon’s discomfort and irritation. “Do you think you could say it with actions?”
“Actions?” asked the demon confused but also curious to understand what the angel meant with that.
“Well, yes, actions,” Aziraphale repeated hoping it wouldn’t sound as something stupid. “Something that may convey your feelings and intentions leaving no place for doubts nor misunderstandings.”
“For example?” asked Crowley, he had calmed down with the angel’s suggestion. He got closer to Aziraphale moving slowly as a chaser after its prey, a snake about to strike a fussy mouse.
“I-I don’t know. Yo-you have always been the best when it came to it,” said Aziraphale unable to keep his eyes nor his hands quiet. He looked everywhere around his bookshop though always looking at the demon before he would change the object of his fake attention, while his hands would rub each other, or play with his golden ring or manicured nails.
“I wouldn’t say that, Angel. You took action when you decided to give away your flaming sword,” said the demon stepping closer. “And when you gave me that thermos filled with holy water,” one more step closer. “And when you raised your sword, ready to fight Satan himself,” said stopping right in front the angel capturing his eyes only for himself. “And especially, when you held my hand on the bus we took from Tadfield to my flat.”
Crowley took Aziraphale’s right hand with his left one and interlaced their fingers. The demon circled the angel’s waist with his right arm, resting his free hand at the other’s back.
“Those are nothing when compared to all the things you ever did, my dear. Keep doing…,” said the angel as if he was out of breath.
“Do you want me to stop, Angel?” asked Crowley half joking and half-worrying for ‘going too fast’.
“Oh, please, don’t you dare stop!” said Aziraphale grabbing Crowley’s right shoulder with his free hand for support and incentive.
Crowley chuckled and leaned closer to Aziraphale, lightly brushing his nose against the other’s, making the angel smile softly as he did so, then turned his head slightly to his right as Aziraphale reflected the move to the opposite direction. Slowly, warmly, gently, sweetly, calmly their lips met, sealing a silent vow to all eternity.
To love one another.
To take care of each other.
To protect the other and themselves.
To fight for their love, life and world.
After a while, they separated their mouths breathing hard.
“I love you too, Crowley. I love you so, so much!” said Aziraphale looking at the other with his eyes full of love and adoration.
“Aziraphale, I… I… Damn it!” said Crowley getting frustrated for not finishing the sentence he wanted so much to finish.
“It’s all right, dear,” assured the angel. “You may not be able to say it but I can feel it clearly and powerfully in my essence and heart.”
“I’m sorry, Angel. I wish I could say it,” Crowley apologized.
“But you do! You have being telling me with your actions. I wish I could have answered properly before.”
“Well, now you’ve got the chance to compensate me,” said the demon smiling mischievously.
“Oh, you old serpent! I sure will!” said Aziraphale smiling brightly then pulled the demon for another kiss, this one deeper and longer than their first.