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The first time he does it, it’s mostly a joke.
It’s early in the morning, and Tooru sits at their kitchen table eating breakfast while scrolling through his phone. He looks out the window facing the kitchen, with its green curtains parted in the middle, and sees the sun take its place in the sky. Along with the usual hum of the coffee machine, he can also hear birds chirping from the park nearby. Across him, is a copy of the newspaper and a freshly charged phone, ready to be littered with texts from Tooru throughout the day. Their mornings together are peaceful, and they try to make the best of it they can.
Hajime’s got a twelve hour shift today, and Tooru pouts just thinking about it. He always shows never ending support for his boyfriend’s career, even if he jokes how can someone as brutish as Iwa-chan make such a smart and handsome doctor! But, he absolutely loathes the minimal time they get to spend together because of it.
He tries not to think of it and instead concentrates on Hajime’s singing inside of the shower. He’s singing a song that Tooru sort of recognizes- it plays whenever they make their weekly trip to the grocery store. He’s half tempted to start belching the lyrics out, making it a duet, but pauses when he thinks about how they could get another noise complaint from their neighbors for being so disruptive so early in the morning.
The thought fizzles out and he’s taking sips of his morning coffee while scrolling through his dashboard, when an ad pops up for an engagement ring that nearly has him spluttering out his drink.
The idea of marriage isn’t foreign to him, and him and Hajime have both discussed it a number of times in the past but have always decided to hold off. Back then, Hajime was studying his ass off in med school and Tooru was spending long nights in the gym, praying and working towards being scouted for the national team. They agreed to hold off until they both had a steady career, where they didn’t have to worry about having a roof over their head. He hasn’t even thought about it that much, until recently.
The other day, Suga had dragged him to a jewelry store about a twenty minute train ride from his apartment, claiming he needed a second input on the ring he picked out. It was no secret between their circle of friends that he’d been planning on proposing to Daichi for weeks now, but Suga was nothing less than a perfectionist and had insisted on Tooru’s involvement in the matter.
Everyone thought that Daichi would be the one to propose when Suga first let his plan out of the bag, but he had simply scoffed and said Daichi has the fashion and aesthetic sense of a wet, moldy piece of bread. With fierce determination in his eyes, he said I’m going to propose before he can even think about getting some nasty piece of metal that I’ll have to wear for the rest of my life.
At this point, Tooru wonders if there’s actually a federal agent watching over him from his phone and giving him ad suggestions, like he reads on the conspiracy side of Reddit, because not once did he remember using it during their outing- Suga forbade it, saying if this gets out and Daichi hears about it I’m going to set your first child on fire. Tooru pauses for a second, contemplating all the other ads that have popped up on his phone recently, and then a thought comes to his mind.
Quickly grabbing Hajime’s phone and bringing it close to his mouth, he begins to talk.
“Engagement rings, princess cut diamonds, oval cut diamonds,” he whispers, and with a quick look behind him to see if Hajime’s out of the shower, he hisses “three carats.” He keeps whispering vehemently, giving small suggestions to the supposed hypothesized ad generator by saying things like marquise cut and Brilliant Earth into the phone until he hears the water turn off, and then quickly scrambles to put his phone back where it was.
Hajime comes out of their shared bedroom with nothing but a towel around his waist, and as the sunlight hits his skin Tooru can’t help but sigh and think what a man.
“Morning Iwa-chan!” Tooru chips and Hajime grunts in return, reaching down to peck him on the lips. He plops down into the seat across from him where his coffee and newspaper awaits, and Tooru slides his hands into his, gently massaging away what’s to become the stress of his hospital shift. He already has breakfast ready on the table for the both of them, and has Hajime’s bento packed for the day on the counter. It’s horribly domestic, and three years ago he would have laughed and made fun of them, but for now, this is what they have.
-
It’s become a habit now, that whenever Hajime leaves his phone unoccupied, Tooru comes and starts listing off different types of rings and cuts and styles. He can’t really tell if it’s actually working, he respects his boyfriend’s privacy enough not to enter his password and snoop around his phone, but he is still intrigued. He’s only been caught a couple of times, and he’s been able to brush it off with oh I’m just trying to remember something, and quickly hides the phone behind his back.
The more he does it, the more he thinks about the prospect of actually getting married. Tooru’s officially the setter for the national team, Hajime is well into his residency, and he can’t imagine spending the rest of his life with someone else. It’s always been the two of them, and he knows it’s going to be them forever. He doesn’t really like the idea of this consuming his thoughts, because what if Hajime still wants to wait? It’s childish that he doesn’t even want to try discussing this with him, but he doesn’t want to think about the aftermath of that conversation if he really does say no. He can’t ask him to sacrifice his career, not when he’s finally making a name for himself at work. He barely has the strength to change after he comes home from the hospital, Tooru can’t be that selfish and throw the weight of planning a wedding on to him. He hopes his apparent sulking has gone unnoticed.
Apparently, no matter how many facades he puts up, Hajime can always see right through him.
“Hey,” he says and frowns, pulling away from him to turn the television down. They’re watching one of his favorites- E.T. for the hundredth time, but Tooru can’t concentrate on anything else besides the lonely space on his left hand. “What’s going on? You’ve been acting weird for the past couple of days.”
At this, Tooru squawks, while silently cursing himself for being so obvious, and beams with a smile too wide, “Nothing at all Iwa-chan! Just thinking about all that empty space a caveman like you must have in your head!”
Hajime sighs indignantly, “Oikawa. I’m not stupid. Something’s clearly bothering you and I thought you would bring it up but you haven’t,” he shifts and rearranges himself on the couch so that he’s facing Tooru, hands clasped in his. Hajime loves his hands, how they feel like magic when he touches his skin. Tooru thinks they would look nicer with a ring. “So tell me.”
Tooru looks sheepishly to the side, staring at the movie they’re watching with sudden interest. He can feel the tears prickling in his eyes, already faced with the sting of rejection. “You’ll think it’s silly...”
Hajime can’t help the snort that comes out. “It can’t be worse than the time we were ten when you wouldn’t stop crying and made me promise I wouldn’t tell anyone about the secret bean farm that you kept under your bed. Seriously, that was so disgusting.”
Tooru sticks out his tongue in retaliation, “Mean, Iwa-chan! So mean!”
Realizing that Hajime’s expecting him to continue, he can’t help what he blurts out of his mouth. “I want an engagement ring.”
He freezes, Hajime freezes, and the air goes still in their apartment. The mortification slowly, but surely creeps over him about what he said. Retracting, he babbles, “That’s not what I meant!” as if that’s going to make it better.
To this, Hajime raises an eyebrow, and Tooru throws his hands over his face to stop the oncoming storm that he’s brewing.
“Uh..” Hajime says, and Tooru peers through his fingers and can practically see his mind going a hundred miles an hour. “I’ll be right back.”
Oh my god, is he leaving right now?! Tooru can only imagine his face rivals that look of horror when Suga first saw the ugliest plaid knit sweater Daichi revealed after he took off his coat when they all went to brunch. He’s positive his mouth is open and gaping like a fish, and doesn’t really register anything until Hajime is back in front of him, a small black box in his hand. Is that what I think it is?
“I got it when you first got picked for the national team.” Hajime shuffles, almost awkwardly, and then continues, “I know we both said that we wanted to wait, but when you told me the news you looked the happiest I’d ever seen you and I thought well, shit I want this forever.”
Seeing as Tooru is physically unable to speak at the moment, somewhere, his brain puts up a failing: unable to process sign, Hajime takes over and does most of the talking.
“I’ve kept it in my drawer all this time, and I would almost have a heart attack everytime I thought about you finding it.” He opens the box, and Tooru feels the anticipation radiating off of him. The ring is silver, and there’s a line of seven square cut diamonds in the middle while metal encompasses the rest of the space around the band. There’s a milgrain detail around the edges, and Tooru can’t help but think it’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.
He looks up, and Hajime looks more anxious than seeing Tooru in the hospital for the first time when they were sixteen after injuring his knee. Now, he’s down on his knee. “I wanted to do this properly, I swear. I was going to take you to that fancy restaurant you like- even if I think their steak is overpriced- and then we were supposed to go stargazing at this place I found an hour away from here, but it doesn’t matter where we go. All I know wherever you are is where I want to be.” He pauses, throat tightening up a little, and continues.
“You know how hectic my life is right now, and I can’t put my all into this until later on. But, if you’re willing to wait a little, I promise I’ll make it count.”
Tooru’s brain finally catches up, and he can’t stop the tears from overflowing as he tackles Hajime down onto their carpet. For a second, it’s silent between them until Tooru chokes out, “Silly Iwa-chan. You know I'd wait forever for you.”
-
In the end, Tooru’s right. His left hand does look better with a ring on it.