Work Text:
We-Lan Yuan had a lot of favorite people (he was still struggling with remembering that he now had the same name as fuqin).
His teacher in the nursery asked the whole group to draw three of their favorite people and they were going to learn writing their names. All the other kids seemed to know exactly who they were going to draw, but Lan Yuan just couldn’t choose! And he already knew how to write all of their names so that would only take him a moment after he figured out who was his favorite!
~
1.
Wen-popo would have been an obvious choice. And she was his favorite! He didn’t remember too much about what happened before he was living in Lotus Pier, but he could remember the smell of Wen-popo.
She was always so warm and gave the best hugs. Her skin was soft and wrinkly, but her eyes smiled and A-Yuan always smiled with her.
It was a bit of time since popo carried him last. He was becoming a big boy of 5 years now and popo couldn’t pick him up like before. She also seemed a little shorter and her back a little more bent, but holding her hand, he felt almost like she was carrying him.
Oh! And popo made the best porridge! He always finished his porridge in the Jingshi because fuqin said it’s bad to waste food. But it tasted of… nothing. But fuqin never told A-Yuan to finish the bowl when Die made it. And fuqin always switched their bowls and then stared at the wall after he ate it. Sometimes A-Yuan wanted to try Die’s porridge but something was telling him to really listen to fuqin about this.
And popo made the porridge delicious! It had a flavor and popo always put some honey on top. And sometimes there were dried fruits!
Wen-popo was really his favorite!
1.
Auntie Qing was his favorite too.
All the other kids were saying that she was scary but she wasn’t! In Lotus Pier, A-Yuan was usually with Die, sleeping together and playing in the fields and learning how to swim (A-Yuan really wanted to learn because his Die wanted him to learn but A-Yuan felt so sick only looking at the water when it moved). But sometimes auntie Qing took him to her greenhouse.
A-Yuan wasn’t allowed to touch many flowers there and sometimes they smelled really bad, but auntie Qing gave him a pot and some seeds and he had his own flower in the greenhouse. He didn’t take it with him to Cloud Recesses, because he wanted to leave his favorite aunt his favorite flower.
Auntie Qing was also so good at making ouchies go away. Playing with Die was very fun, but sometimes A-Yuan fell and hurt his knees or hands when he couldn’t catch up. Die always made so much noise when A-Yuan was in pain! Uncle Jiang did too, but he was usually yelling at Die then.
Auntie Qing always took him to her medical rooms and made the pain stop. Sometimes she put smelly things on his knees, but they were taking all the stinging away! Auntie Qing was so strong to make them go away!
Auntie Qing was his favorite auntie!
1.
Uncle Ning was kind of weird. But A-Yuan liked him.
Right now uncle wasn’t visiting very often in Cloud Recesses and fuqin explained that it was because if uncle Ning visited, die would have to go away to Lotus Pier more often. A-Yuan didn’t want to choose between his uncle and Die… but Die was Die.
A-Yuan remembered very little from before he lived in Lotus Pier. He didn’t remember that much from Lotus Pier either, but uncle Ning was in a lot of A-Yuan’s memories.
He talked funny sometimes, like saying only one part of the word a lot. And when A-Yuan finally learned that it had a name – stuttering, uncle Ning stopped. Well, he still did a little but only when his face was getting really red or when someone (it was Die most of the time) said many nice things to him.
Uncle Ning had a funny face. It changed so much! A-Yuan liked to squish uncle’s face and then uncle was making funny sounds! And uncle squished A-Yuan’s face too, but it never hurt. And there were a few times that A-Yuan woke up from a very bad dream and Die wasn’t with him, but uncle Ning was. And uncle was soft and funny and A-Yuan couldn’t even remember the bad dreams anymore!
And uncle Ning was the only uncle that knew how to play! Other uncles were only watching A-Yuan play, but uncle Ning always played with him! They went to find monsters in the forests and fought the wild animals in the bushes!
Uncle Ning was A-Yuan’s favourite uncle to have fun and play with!
1.
He wasn’t sure where A-Yu came from, but one day he appeared in the house where A-Yuan was staying with popo whenever he wasn’t with Die and fuqin.
When A-Yuan ran to him with his toys, A-Yu moved away. He used to do that for a long time, but A-Yuan didn’t think it was his fault. And A-Yu didn’t move away from him anymore.
A-Yu was so pretty! He was very skinny when he came and his hair was ugly, but he was still pretty. And now, after all the eating, A-Yu wasn’t so skinny anymore! And he was really really pretty. All the other kids from A-Yuan's class also thought he was pretty. A-Yuan didn’t like that, because A-Yu was his brother! (Die said so!)
When he stopped moving away, A-Yu gave the best cuddles. He let A-Yuan get into his lap and hug him. Sometimes A-Yu held him a little too tight, but that was fine, because then he called him didi! Other kids in the nursery had older brothers and sisters and A-Yuan wanted one too. He didn’t know it was so easy to have an older brother!
A-Yu also let him play with his hair. He couldn’t do the pretty braids his fuqin did, but A-Yuan was practicing hard! And A-Yu always let him do his hair. And when they were in the meadow with fuqin’s bunnies A-Yuan always put flowers in A-Yu’s hair. And he looked even prettier then!
Really, A-Yu was his favorite gege.
1.
It wasn’t fun going to the nursery.
A-Yuan liked spending time with popo or Die or fuqin so he didn’t understand why he had to go to that place. And he knew how to write the things they told him to write. They were all in the scrolls fuqin gave him.
Going to the nursery wasn’t fun until Jingyi came. He just had his fifth birthday when A-Yuan was five for already six months! (that was a long time!)
Jingyi knew all the other kids in the nursery. A-Yuan did too, but he didn’t play with them. Or more like they didn’t play with him.
On the first day when Jingyi came A-Yuan was practicing his name at his table, stopping himself from asking the teacher when his Die would come. He was already scolded once and he didn’t want the teacher to tell fuqin. Then fuqin was looking with scary eyes at the teachers, and A-Yuan didn’t like that. He didn’t know why, but he didn’t like it when adults looked like that because bad things could happen.
Jingyi sat beside him and pushed his head into A-Yuan's space.
‘What’s that?’ The boy asked pointing at the characters on the paper.
A-Yuan blinked at the boy.
‘A-Yuan.’ He answered, because duh, it was obvious, right?
‘Yeah, I know you’re A-Yuan. What you’re writing?’ He pushed his finger onto the paper making the character smudge a bit.
‘A-Yuan.’ A-Yuan repeated.
Jingyi turned to the teacher.
‘He can only say his name?’ He yelled and immediately there was a lot of hushing.
‘Jingyi, behave! No yelling in Cloud Recesses!’
A-Yuan looked as the other boy actually rolled his eyes. He didn’t see anyone else but his Die roll his eyes.
He blinked at the boy again, fascinated. When he saw Jingyi getting up, probably to go away like other kids always did, he grabbed the edge of his robes.
‘I’m writing my name. A-Yuan. Lan Yuan.’ He quickly supplied.
‘Really?!’ Jingyi said loudly and more hushing came. Then he dropped again on the cushion. ‘Give it to me, I can write mine too!’
Taking the brush and paper from A-Yuan, Jingyi quickly did a few strokes. They were very messy.
The first character was the same. Well, not exactly same because Jingyi's writing was really bad.
Their names were standing beside each other on the paper. They looked nice together.
Jingyi always grabbed his hand and dragged him to different places. The teachers scolded him, sometimes even both of them, but Jingyi didn’t listen.
Jingyi was VERY LOUD. The teachers scolded him for that too. He remembered to speak in good voice for a moment only before he started yelling again.
Jingyi was so funny! He told funny stories about his cousins. For some reason the teachers scolded him again. What was gossiping? He would ask Die or fuqin later.
Jingyi didn’t speak or move or actually do anything when one time fuqin came to take A-Yuan to the Jingshi for the afternoon meal. He was frozen and not even blinking when fuqin picked A-Yuan. A-Yuan was a bit worried.
The next day Jingyi again pulled him by the hand, ran, yelled and told funny stories.
Jingyi was A-Yuan's most favorite friend!
1.
Qiren-shufu was also his favorite and A-Yuan didn’t understand why it made Die laugh so much when A-Yuan told him that. Die fell backwards and rolled away while laughing and yelling about cramps while fuqin sighed deeply and gathered A-Yuan into his lap and asked why.
Shufu knew so many things! A-Yuan secretly thought that he must have known even more than fuqin and bobo. He had answers to every question and he was teaching A-Yuan the rules.
A-Yuan loved Shufu also because he praised him in front of the older disciples. They were saying things about Die and most of them A-Yuan didn’t even understand. And no one wanted to explain what a “cut-sleeve” was. Not even uncle Jiang, and he just turned purple like his robes and Zidian made some noises, so A-Yuan stopped asking.
A-Yuan was trying to cite the rules at the boys, ones that Shufu taught him and A-Yuan thought they were right at that moment. Shufu heard them and praised A-Yuan for knowing the rules. A-Yuan wasn’t sure what Shufu told the boys, but next time he saw them they were doing handstands. And they never teased him again. And Shufu even patted his head! Shufu almost never touched him!
When A-Yuan told the story, fuqin looked at him for the longest time before he made his mn noise. Then Die came to hug them both, his voice a little like he was crying too when he said Lan Zhan, don’t cry!
A-Yuan didn’t understand his dads but it was always nice to be in their hugs.
He should probably tell Shufu that he is A-Yuan’s favorite Shufu!
1.
Uncle Jiang was usually angry at something. That something was Die most of the time. But uncle Jiang wasn't really scary. He yelled a lot and grumbled to himself, but it was funny!
Uncle had so many pretty things for his hair! One time, Die was doing something and there was no one else who could stay and play with A-Yuan and uncle Jiang grumbled a lot but he took A-Yuan's hand and they went to uncle's room and there was a whole drawer with hairpieces! There were also bunnies in uncle's room, a lot of bunnies!
Uncle Jiang let A-Yuan take the shiny combs and pins and put them on while uncle grumbled at some papers that Lei Feng was giving him. A-Yuan even put a few hairpieces on the bunnies, but uncle Jiang only looked up from the papers and then back down. Uncle Jiang always said a lot of words that were forbidden in Cloud Recesses when he was doing the papers, and he always told A-Yuan not to say those things either, especially in front of fuqin.
A-Yu looked very nervous when he went to Lotus Pier with A-Yuan for the first time and he flinched very much whenever uncle Jiang talked loudly. Die and uncle yelled a lot at each other during that visit. On the last evening, before they were supposed to go back to Cloud Recesses, uncle Jiang took A-Yuan and A-Yu to a pavilion, sat them on the cushions and A-Yuan saw Zidian! It made weird sounds, like cracking, and it was amazing! Die told them that some cultivators had special weapons and Zidian was special.
But instead of fighting anyone, uncle Jiang made animals from Zidian! The long purple whip turned into different shapes every time uncle moved his arm, it made bunnies and birds and cats! Even A-Yu stopped flinching at the loud noise and was looking with eyes and mouth wide at the animals, just like A-Yuan! Die was standing away and was smiling, but A-Yuan didn't want to miss the amazing show from his uncle so he didn't look at his Die.
When A-Yuan told fuqin about the show, fuqin stayed very still for a very long time and then A-Yuan didn't know what happened because he left with popo, but Die was talking really fast and high and then he screamed weirdly. From then on fuqin always joined on the visits to Lotus Pier if A-Yuan was going with Die.
Oh! And A-Yuan couldn't forget that uncle Jiang taught him to swim, too! A-Yuan didn't like the lakes around Lotus Pier too much. They were very scary. But uncle took him to a small pond behind the big house and made A-Yuan promise he wouldn't tell Die or fuqin. Die still thought A-Yuan couldn't swim.
And uncle Jiang had THE BUNNIES! A-Yuan loved bunnies! In Cloud Recesses he always went with fuqin to the bunnies, but uncle Jiang's bunnies were so funny! They were always hopping behind uncle, even when he yelled at them. And there was one bunny that always kicked uncle in the face to wake him up!
Uncle Jiang was such a funny uncle!
1.
Auntie Yanli was the best friend of auntie Qing, like Jingyi was A-Yuan’s best friend. But they were so different!
In Lotus Pier auntie Yanli was playing with A-Yuan a lot when Die was fighting the monsters. They spent so much time together! And she always made the best food. He didn’t like the red powder too much and auntie never put any in his food, even when Die was trying to make A-Yuan eat it. She made the delicious soup with lotus root and ribs that Die and uncle Jiang always snuck into the kitchen for. But A-Yuan got enough portions. And untie Yanli’s tea was delicious! He really liked sitting with auntie in the pavilion on the water and listening to the birds.
He was a little sad when he went to Cloud Recesses and couldn’t be with auntie so much, but then he had fuqin. And auntie came to Cloud Recesses soon! She was in the big red dress and bobo was in really pretty robes! They looked so beautiful! And since then auntie was again close to him!
Fuqin always smelled nice, but no one smelled as nice as auntie Yanli. It always made A-Yuan a little sleepy because it was so calm with auntie. But in a good way, not like popo was putting him to bed so early when he was already such a big boy! But with auntie A-Yuan always fell asleep fast…
Also, auntie made Die a little scared. It was funny! Auntie Yanli was so nice and A-Yuan didn’t understand how Die could be scared of her! Fuqin said not to ask Die.
Auntie Yanli was his favorite auntie together with auntie Qing!
1.
Right now, if A-Yuan thought about auntie Yanli, he also thought about Xichen-bobo. He could see them together almost always and uncle looked at auntie with the same face fuqin looked at Die.
Xichen bobo seemed really too big for A-Yuan at the beginning. Fuqin was really big, but uncle Xichen was even bigger! And everyone said he was the strongest cultivator in the world! So scary.
But then A-Yuan saw that Xichen bobo wasn’t scary at all. A-Yuan really liked uncle’s voice. It was always so soft and gentle. Uncle Xichen never got angry, even when disciples were really bad and Shufu was getting that really deep red color on his face. Uncle Xichen only spoke in his nice voice. A-Yuan loved listening to stories from bobo!
There were some hard rules in Cloud Recesses that A-Yuan didn’t understand. There were also some words that were so big that he couldn’t say them right and when he asked fuqin about them he sometimes understood even less. He never asked Die, because Die said that he needed to learn the rules so he knew how to break them. And Shufu said you can’t break the rules! Sometimes Die was so silly…
But Xichen bobo explained the rules so well. He never used words A-Yuan didn’t understand and he made the rules so easy! A-Yuan already knew so many rules that the older children didn’t know! Shufu praised him, but Xichen bobo taught him. A-Yuan couldn’t wait to start real lessons and show how much had already learned! He was trying to teach Jingyi some rules, but Jingyi treated them like Die.
A-Yuan also loved Xichen bobo very much, because he told A-Yuan to call his fuqin fuqin. The first time A-Yuan called his father that, fuqin stared at him for so long… and then fuqin picked A-Yuan up and hugged him so tight. And they spent the whole day together with the bunnies and practicing calligraphy!
So Xichen bobo was his favorite uncle with uncle Jiang and uncle Ning!
1.
A-Yuan knew that Lan Wangji wasn’t his real fuqin. Just like Wei Wuxian wasn’t his real Die. A-Yuan had a mom and a dad but they died. Children in the nursery didn’t understand what that meant, but A-Yuan knew. He knew that Wen-popo was the mom of his real father.
He wasn’t sad about his real mom and dad. He couldn’t remember them and popo said they were in a good place now. So he couldn’t be sad about that!
Lan Wangji was his Xian-gege’s best friend and A-Yuan knew him. Xian-gege often went away with Lan Wangji and they fought monsters and bad people. Like those people that were sometimes in A-Yuan’s dreams.
And then suddenly Die was kissing Lan Wangji and he said he was going to move to Cloud Recesses to live with Lan Wangji… and A-Yuan was scared. Wen-popo already went away with the other old people to live in Cloud Recesses (everyone said it was because that place was good for their health) and now Die was going… A-Yuan loved aunties Qing and Yanli, but he wanted to be with Die. He really hated Lan Wangji for taking his Die away.
But Die took A-Yuan. One day A-Yuan couldn’t find some of his robes and toys in Die’s room and Die said that they were already sent to Cloud Recesses because the wedding was just in a few days and after that they would be all living in Cloud Recesses.
A-Yuan couldn’t really explain to Die why he was suddenly crying, but he had this weird feeling that something was squeezing his insides tight and when Die said A-Yuan was also going, the squeezing let go. He was hugging Die very close when they were sleeping that night.
In Cloud Recesses A-Yuan could live with his popo! He was really happy about it! Sometimes he stayed in the Jingshi and then he thought Lan Wangji was mad at A-Yuan. He always had that same face. He was always looking at A-Yuan.
A-Yuan didn’t hate Lan Wangji anymore, but he didn’t like spending time with him either. Lan Wangji never played with him. Or talked to him. He just looked at him so much!
But A-Yuan never hurt himself with Lan Wangji. He never tripped because Lan Wangji always caught him. And he never got tired because Lan Wangji always knew when to pick him up and carry him. Oh, and A-Yuan knew so many new things because Lan Wangji gave him so many scrolls and papers with pictures and characters and A-Yuan loved learning it!
Actually, A-Yuan started really liking spending time with Lan Wangji. He never complained when A-Yuan got into his lap to sit higher and helped him hold the brush. And Lan Wangji took A-Yuan to the bunnies! They always fed them together.
One time Lan Wangji put so many bunnies on A-Yuan and they were tickling him, but it was so much fun! And then fuqin smiled! He was so pretty… and he wrapped the end of his pretty ribbon around A-Yuan’s forehead!
Fuqin always picked A-Yuan to sleep in the Jingshi whenever Die was away. They slept together with small Die doll between them and fuqin always let A-Yuan cuddle close to him and stroke his hair until A-Yuan fell asleep.
A-Yuan really loved his not real fuqin. He loved hugging him and putting his face on fuqin’s shoulder because there fuqin smelled the most of the nice scent. And fuqin always brought toys for A-Yuan, there was a whole bunch in the Jingshi! Jingyi said he had never seen so many toys! But A-Yuan would give all of his toys away for his fuqin!
Lan Wangji was A-Yuan’s favorite fuqin.
1.
A-Yuan loved his fuqin very much. But A-Yuan would always go wherever his Die Wei Wuxian went. It was just so lucky that his fuqin and his Die also loved each other very much.
He knew that there was a time when Xian-gege wasn’t in A-Yuan’s life. A-Yuan had his parents first, and then there was Wen popo. But A-Yuan didn’t remember the time without Xian-gege. There were smudges of black and red robes in his first memories. And the smell of earth and grass. Die always smelled like the meadow.
There was a time that came to him in his bad dreams. He was cold and it was dirty. Wen-popo was with him, and uncle Ning. But he barely remembered it. It was like those dreams about monsters some of the other kids in the nursery talked about. But every time the sound of flute and flash of white ended the dreams and there was always someone he really loved with him.
And then A-Yuan only remembered Lotus Pier. The beautiful flowers floating on the water, auntie Yanli’s gentle voice when she was telling him stories. And even uncle Jiang's yelling was a good memory.
But being with Die was the best. He was always saying amazing and funny stories and he was always smiling. Actually, A-Yuan couldn’t remember if he ever saw Die not smiling. And A-Yuan thought that as long as Die was smiling, everything would be great.
Being in Die’s hugs was the best. When A-Yuan was smaller Die often picked him up and carried him everywhere. Well, he was still doing that. Between his fuqin and Die A-Yuan didn’t really have to walk too much. But when Die carried him it was so exciting! Because Die was loud and fast!
But Die could be quiet, too. That happened whenever fuqin was also very quiet. Fuqin was usually quiet, but that other quiet was different. Even A-Yuan felt that he had to play silently and A-Yu just read the scrolls by himself or went to Shufu if he had questions. But those days didn't happen very much.
One time it happened when A-Yuan asked fuqin where his parents were. A-Yuan had Wen popo, but many kids at nursery had more grandparents, the parents of their parents. So he asked fuqin where his mom and dad were, because they must be A-Yuan’s grandparents. Fuqin looked at him and opened his lips, closed them and it looked like he wouldn't speak for a long time. Die came then and picked A-Yuan from fuqin's legs, kissed fuqin on the forehead and carried A-Yuan out the jingshi. Until he completely disappeared from A-Yuan's eyes, fuqin was just sitting very still and looking out the window at the garden outside the Jingshi.
'A-Yuan, this is a question we don't ask fuqin, alright?' Die said as they neared popo's rooms. 'When you grow up a little more I’m sure he will tell you, but until then, don’t mention this again. And don’t ask Zewu-jun either because it might make your bobo sad, too.'
A-Yuan grabbed his Die's hair where he was holding on. The hair was so soft and smelling a little like smoke. Probably Die's workshop went boom again.
'Is fuqin sad?' He asked looking down at the path before them. 'I made fuqin sad?'
A soft laugh came from Die who jostled A-Yuan to transfer him to his other hip.
'It's not your fault. Fuqin sometimes gets sad when he remembers his parents. You and A-Yu will stay with popo today.' Die said just as A-Yu came down from the side path and noticed them. He went red and clutched the scrolls he was carrying.
'Wen popo said she will make porridge and she insisted I come, but I will finish my meal with you and Hanguang-Jun in the Jingshi later. You said I need to eat more anyway.’ A-Yu said quickly, his eyes looking down and his face went red.
Die blinked quickly a few times and then turned his head around as if looking for something before he spun with A-Yuan and settled again with looking at A-Yu.
‘You’re explaining yourself to me?’ Die asked and A-Yuan giggled because it was funny.
A-Yu's cheeks got even more red.
Die put A-Yuan down and still holding his hand walked to A-Yu. He wrapped his arm around A-Yuan’s gege and pulled him close. They began walking towards popo’s house again.
‘Eat all you want!’ Die laughed. ‘The more the better, you’re still skin and bones and heaven knows the Lan diet doesn’t really help gaining mass. And you never have to explain yourself to me. Well, as long as there aren’t bodies to bury. Then I might need a little explanation.’ Die kept chatting and ruffling A-Yu's hair. A-Yu wasn’t wearing the ribbon like the others and his hair was only loosely tied in the back. And it was always quite messy even if A-Yu tried to brush it.
A-Yuan looked between his Die and his brother and saw A-Yu's shoulders dropping and his body leaning on Die’s. A-Yuan leaned on Die’s leg on the other side imitating A-Yu. Die always made A-Yu look relaxed and happier. Die was amazing…
A-Yuan didn’t know how was fuqin the rest of the day, but the next day Die was wearing the robes with very tight sleeves that didn’t show his wrists, which he usually wore in colder weather. And fuqin was again smiling softly.
And A-Yuan had so many more memories of Die making everyone feel happier. Maybe not Shufu… but even uncle Jiang was smiling when Die came to Lotus Pier and uncle Jiang almost never smiled.
While fuqin brought A-Yuan toys from markets, Die made some toys himself. And A-Yuan always felt so safe with the toys, even when his fathers weren’t near him. That was because Die put a little bit of himself in the toys and he said that way he would know if A-Yuan was sad. So A-Yuan tried to never be too sad when Die was away, he didn’t want to worry his dad.
Die was the best… everyone said that A-Yuan was like fuqin and it made A-Yuan very happy too, but Die was just his Die. THE BEST.
~
A-Yuan didn’t understand why the teacher scolded him for choosing every single of his favorite persons. He drew them and he wrote the names faster than a lot of other children in the nursery did with three family members and the teacher still said that he broke rules. And A-Yuan didn’t even know which rules! The teacher didn’t say there were any rules, just to choose three persons…
A-Yuan was upset and when he told Fuqin about what happened when he picked A-Yuan from the nursery, and then fuqin asked the teacher to explain the reasoning behind scolding a future disciple for performing a task in an outstanding manner. A-Yuan didn’t even know what that meant, but it made the teacher praise A-Yuan for knowing how to write all the names instead of scolding him again! A-Yuan was really happy then and couldn’t wait to tell Die!