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July, 2007.
Here he stood, on the threshold of hell on Earth, about to talk to Satan himself, and he still wasn't ready to run.
Well, maybe that wasn't entirely accurate. Pete Kowalski, rising junior of Bullworth Academy, was very prepared to run from the menace that had tortured him last year. Gary Smith, the mentally unstable asylum patient, waited for him just on the other side of this door.
His palms had grown hot with sweat, and he nervously wiped them off on his clean, ironed jeans. Pete hated having generalized anxiety disorder. It made him nervous even about this, even about coming here, which was literally his own choice to begin with. The thought of facing his once best friend filled him with a mounting dread that made his throat burn with the urge to cry.
But Pete wanted this. He was determined to get the answers he wanted, because Jimmy and him had been fucked over. And Jimmy might have brushed his hands of Gary, Jimmy might have decided that he was done caring, but Jimmy wasn't Pete and Pete cared way too much. He needed to know why Gary had ditched them, betrayed them, left them to rot. He wanted to know the cause of all this.
And, deep down, maybe he missed Gary, too.
He had been standing there too long, staring at the door. Pete knew if he didn't act soon, the orderly that had trailed behind him would get annoyed. Licking his lips and swallowing down his own anxiety, he pushed open the door, letting the orderly shut it behind him.
And there he was, the mastermind himself.
Gary was so... different, in here, but in reality he still looked like a Smith. All sharp jawlines and piercing stares. When Gary rose his head to look at him, hair that was growing slightly shabby due to a month of no cuts falling into his face, Pete felt his heart skip a beat.
And then a grin passed over his face, his eyes lighting up with genuine joy. He launched himself off of the small white cot all asylum patients had been provided, and sauntered over to Pete with slow, calculated steps. Too proud and too arrogant for someone who was incarcerated.
"Well, well, well, what do we have here? Did Petey Kowalski decide to pay lil' ol' me a visit? The big, bad, awful wolf, Gary Smith?" Gary's words cut into him, and Pete felt the urge to wipe his hands off on his jeans again. His friend's eyes bore into him.
Why'd you do it? Was the question that sat on Pete's tongue, but instead he cleared his throat and avoided Gary's eyes. "I... wanted to check up on you. Y'know, see how you were holding up."
"Oh, look at that! He cares about me!" Gary reached out to sling an arm around him, bringing Pete in close with a sharp jerk that had Pete yelping. "Did somebody miss me? Just couldn't sleep at night knowing I was away, could you?"
"No, I-"
"I already knew you weren't straight, but this is taking it to a whole new level."
The protest died away on Pete's tongue and he swallowed as the familiar burning sensation hit the back of his throat. When he didn't get an answer, Gary huffed and shoved him, hard. Pete stumbled, hitting the cell wall and sliding down it.
"God, you're pathetic." Gary spat.
"Why do you have to be an asshole all the time, Gary?" Pete snapped, and in one sudden rush, angry words bubbled up and out of him. "For once in your life, can't you just accept that you're the one in the wrong? You're in a cell, for god's sake! Don't you realize that I'm the only one left who doesn't want you to drop dead? Half the school pities you and the other half hates you! You destroyed our lives! You took away our peace! You don't get to be calling me the pathetic one!"
The room fell silent enough to hear a pen drop. The air around the two boys grew thicker, and thicker, and thicker still with tension. Pete risked a glance at the boy who stood looming in front of him. He had to swallow back fear as he noticed Gary's hands were clenched so tight that the skin was starting to turn white.
Pete pushed himself to his feet, slowly, unwilling to startle Gary. If he moved too fast he was afraid that Gary would snap. A predator in a hunting crouch, moments away from delivering the killing bite. That's what Gary was.
"You know, I used to like you. I used to want you around. I used to think you were smart, and funny, and cool. But now you just remind me of a... a walking toddler, who throws a temper tantrum when he doesn't get his way. I hope you get better, Gary. I hope you get the help you need so you can finally grow up."
Pete sidestepped Gary, who had yet to move except for his head, his eyes slowly following Pete back towards the doorway. Pete opened the cell door and looked back one more time, meeting eyes with the person he once considered his best friend.
And then he left.
-
September, 2008.
To the parents of Gary Alexander Smith,
I am writing to you to inform you that your son has completed rehab. According to his court order, this is the final step needed in order for him to be released back to the public.
Please note that he will still have to check in weekly with a nurse that will ensure he is still taking his medication. This will no longer be a requirement after his 100 hours of community service is over.
With this in mind, we will be releasing him on the 8th at 3 PM. We require a signature before his release in order to ensure that he is in the proper hands of his guardians.
Thank you for your time,
Happy Volts staff.
-
The reunion with his parents was about as happy as you'd expect with parents as terrible as his. Really, they didn't talk much through the entire thing; it was pick him up, take him home, and let him clean himself up before they had dinner.
It was the first meal that he had had in a long ass time that was actually good, instead of being almost edible. He really did have a newfound appreciation of his maids after that, though he'd never admit it to them out loud.
The thing about spending a year away from home is that it caused him to reflect on things he could have done differently. It also made him realize that a lot of the shit he had done his sophomore year simply didn't... matter. Maybe it was the medication, and the advice of actual doctors from the state after being transferred from Volts and their terrible medical department, but Gary was beginning to see things in ways he had never thought to see them in before.
For example, he was pretty sure Jimmy had never said anything all that terrible to him. Where had he gotten that idea from? Yeah, some of it was an addiction to power, but he was pretty sure the other part was perceived rejection. Learning about rejection sensitive dysphoria really did help him out in a lot of ways. He just wished it had been explained to him sooner, before, y'know, he betrayed all of his closest pals because of an inexplainable fear that they hated his guts.
(Which now they probably did. Go figure. Pete's words still ate at him when he tried to sleep at night).
That didn't matter as much now, anyway. He wanted to know what he'd be doing. He wasn't trapped anymore, with only medical professionals and other patients that had, admittedly, been really kind to him when they weren't Bullworth Branded(tm). He wanted to know what his future would be like, now that his head was much clearer.
When he asked his father, the response he got didn't surprise him much.
"We've decided to respect Crabblesnitch's decision and homeschool you. It'll be best, in order to prevent anymore... incidents."
And so began the process of sleeping, waking up, eating, being immersed into various studies by a freshly hired tutor with a bitchy voice that Gary tried very hard not to snap at, eating again, and going back to sleep. This pattern only broke on days where he had been assigned community service, or had an appointment with his psychologist.
As the days went on, he began to make the effort to expose himself to the outside world. Being locked up made him unusually skittish around people, and he was still having trouble getting used to the crowd that was his father's staff. This led to him climbing onto the roof of his father's house as he watched the sun dip steadily over the horizon after a long day of studies.
Being in high places had been a huge comfort when he was a child. He liked to watch the world, and he liked to feel in control by being able to see his surroundings. His friends would occasionally join him. He had many memories of Pete's smile catching on the sunset, or his nervous expression watching him as Gary got too close to the edge.
This was their place first, before it became his and Jimmy's. He wondered, briefly, if Jimmy still thought of their battle as often as Gary did, or if Gary just did that because it was the last substantial thing he had ever done with himself before the lock-up.
He really missed those two.
He got it, though. He couldn't have them back in his life. They had both kicked him out, and that was his own doing. He had hurt them, and he might regret it, but he had to let go.
He just didn't know how, when he didn't have anyone else.
-
December, 2008.
He finished his community service. Christmas break came, and since he had been working so hard on catching up with his junior year studies, his father had allowed him to take it off for himself. He was grateful at the idea of a break; he had been working tirelessly, and was nearly three quarters of a way through his junior year. He wanted to catch up to his senior year already, so that he could graduate in May like the rest of the Class of 2009.
Suddenly filled with free time that he did not want taken up by family, Gary found himself wandering into town more than he had previously. At first he didn't go far, but as the days passed he found himself going on longer strolls until he found himself deep in the heart of Bullworth Vale.
He should have known it would be easy to be spotted there, considering the gym was a hotspot for prep activity. Jimmy's lighthouse was also down here, causing Gary to avoid that spot as much as he could.
It was a smart idea, by all means. Unfortunately for Gary, however, Jimmy was king, and the preps told him everything. Especially Gord, who he'd had an on-and-off relationship with for a few years now.
That's what led to his peaceful stroll being interrupted by a massive fist slamming his head into the side of a brick wall, so hard that his ears rang.
"Well, well, well, what do we have here?" Came a familiar voice in his ear, and his blood ran cold.
"James." Gary grunted into the brick wall. He tried to lift his head up, but was deemed unsuccessful when Jimmy's fist jerked him back down, causing him to wince. "What is it you want? I was busy."
"Busy doing what? Making the smiles of tiny children disappear?"
Gary had to remind himself that Jimmy was completely justified in this reaction, but it was hard when his cheek was beginning to fucking bleed.
"Get off."
"Not until you tell me what you're doing out of jail where you were supposed to rot."
"I got released! I finished the stupid program, okay? Let me go!" Gary hissed, and to his surprise, Jimmy did.
"What program are you talking about?" Jimmy asked, crossing his arms. Gary rubbed the grit off his face and took a moment to let his eyes wander over Jimmy's freckles.
Jesus, he forgot just how many James had. He was like a freckled forest.
"Technically a bunch of different programs... rehab was one, and I went through some community service hours." Gary shrugged. "Does it matter? I'm out now."
Jimmy's face contorted into three different expressions of confused anger, and Gary had to stop himself from laughing out loud at it.
"Like hell you're coming back to Bullworth-"
"I'm not, actually. I'm being homeschooled." Gary replied, smug at his one-up despite his best efforts not to be. It was just easy to feel smug around Hopkins.
(He wondered, briefly, why he wasn't downright pissed at Jimmy for sophomore year; but it had been a long time since then, and Gary was different, more different than he'd ever been).
"What? How long has that been going on?"
"Since September." Gary told him.
"Oh. Wow."
The two of them stood in an almost awkward silence, and Gary flicked his eyes over to watch the road as cars passed by. He had almost zoned out when Jimmy spoke again.
"So, what? Are you scheming to get back in?" When Gary turned his eyes back to Jimmy, the shorter boy was squinting at him, looking suspicious.
"No." Gary said, honest. "I'm not going to bother you, either, if that's what you're going to ask."
"Why? Not that I don't appreciate your kindness or whatever. I'm just trying to understand."
"I get it, don't worry." Gary shrugged and sighed, turning on his heel to face the road. "Honestly? I've had a lot of time to think. And... I messed up with the two of you. Bad. I don't want to pressure you into having to deal with me again, because, well... I fucked up your lives. I understand that now, I understand how bad it was back then for you. I wasn't going to seek you out, but I suppose thinking that I could hide from you forever wasn't necessarily the brightest idea."
"I can't believe this." Jimmy mumbled. "Gary Smith? Showing remorse? Who would of thought."
"Yeah." Gary said, quietly. "Wild idea, for sure."
The two boys stood looking at the cars in a slightly more comfortable silence. It had started to lightly snow, and Gary rubbed his gloved hands together to create the idea of warmth before he half-froze to death.
"I don't know if I forgive you, you know." Jimmy spoke.
"Yeah, I figured." Gary murmured. "And you don't have to."
"I think if you're putting in the effort, I'd like to forgive you." Jimmy told him, and Gary turned his head, regarding him with surprise.
"What you did was... terrible, to be frank, but I've seen worse. You weren't all that bad, back before the fight with Russell." He shrugged and Gary continued to stare. Jimmy had liked their friendship? It felt like a crazy idea.
"And I think... I think Petey really misses you, too." Jimmy shifted to glance at him. "He... told me, about your fight."
Gary didn't like thinking about it, much less talking about it. He clenched his hands into slight fists and let out a small huff. "Really? Man..."
"Its fine, really. I mean, I was pissed at the time and so was he, but I think he just misses you now." Jimmy turned his whole body towards Gary, suddenly furrowing his brow. "Hey, give me your hand."
"What?" Gary frowned. "No, get your own hand to hold."
"I'm not tryna flirt with you, dumbass. I'm gonna write Pete's number on your arm."
"Pete's - what?"
"You should apologize to him." Jimmy said, matter-of-factly. Bewildered, Gary handed Jimmy his hand. Jimmy took a pen out of his pocket and uncapped it, scribbling a hasty number on his wrist, just above his glove.
"Pete's parents had enough money to get him a cell phone. He can answer texts but texting back is a slow process so he prefers to call." Jimmy pocketed his pen. "I'm sure you two can work it out for yourselves though."
"Why are you giving this to me? I thought you hated me." Gary asked him, pulling his arm back to run his fingers over the messy digits that were gracing his skin.
"I never hated you, to be honest." Jimmy told him. "I was mad, but I never hated you. I was always rooting for you, Gary."
"I see." Gary replied. "Thank you, then, James."
"Of course." Jimmy clapped him over the back, causing him to stumble. "See ya around, crazy man."
He went home with black ink on his wrist and the words I was always rooting for you stuck in his head on repeat.
-
January, 2009.
Gary procrastinated all of Christmas break away thinking about calling Pete.
He didn't know why the task was bothering him so much. It hadn't been difficult to apologize to Jimmy, but then again, he knew he had been wrong about Jimmy going into it. Admitting to himself that he had no idea what Pete thought of him was a different challenge that was taking a lot of effort to push through.
There was also the part of Gary that had finally, finally let him accept that he missed Pete. And now he was getting a second chance with him, to fix things. To make things right.
He really, really didn't want to screw things up. That's why he was having so much trouble with this one, stupid, idiotic phone call.
(Rejection sensitive dysphoria, thou is a heartless bitch).
He was once again by the house phone, twirling the wire around his finger as he held it up to his ear. He chewed on his lip as he continued what had become a daily debate in his head: to call, or not to call?
Fuck it, he said, and dialed the number.
Pete picked up on the third ring. "Hello?"
Gary took in a sharp breath as the static in his head got louder. Was this a good idea? Probably not. Why did he trust Jimmy? Jimmy was a moron, how would he know what Pete thought?
"Hello? Is this a prank caller?" Pete asked, sounding slightly annoyed.
"No!" Gary spoke and then cleared his throat. "No, uh, its-"
"Gary? Is that you?"
"Yes! Yes."
"Holy crap, I thought you were still in-?"
"No, I got released a few months ago. I ran into Jimmy and he said you've missed me, so-"
"If this is going to be another teasing session about how 'homosexual' I am, I swear I will end this call right-"
"No no no, its the opposite actually. I wanted to apologize."
The line fell silent, and Gary shifted from foot to foot as nerves raced through him. Pointless restless energy. Only ADHD things.
"Look, I really messed up with you."
"Uh-huh. I know."
"And I wanted to say I really, really regret it. You were one of my best friends."
"And?"
"And I'm sorry. You deserved so much better than how I treated you."
Another silence. There was a noise as if someone had sat down a dish. "Listen, if you expect me to just accept, then I don't think I can do that."
Gary's finger twitched and he rested his head back on the wall. "I understand."
"But I'll give you the chance to prove that I should accept." Pete's voice was quieter now. "You just... you just have to prove it to me through actions, not say sorry and go right back to being a jerk."
"Yeah." Gary said, equally as quiet.
"Do you want to meet up sometime? To catch up?" Pete asked, and Gary had to fight to keep down the grin spreading over his face.
"I'd like that," he answered.
He might not have been forgiven yet, but he'd take what he could get.
-
They made plans to meet at a small cafe just outside of Bullworth Vale that following Thursday.
-
Pete Kowalski, senior of Bullworth Academy, sat in the quiet coffee shop that he had recommended for his and Gary's little "outing."
He had brought his laptop, as he had an essay due for his current English class and like hell was he going to pass up an opportunity to write it in a quiet space. He had actually arrived early in order to start it, since he knew Gary liked to ramble on, and he wanted to get some work done before he was interrupted.
He also wanted to think, which he had been doing between writing paragraphs analyzing the societal symbolism in The Scarlet Letter. His thoughts were turned towards the boy who he was currently meeting today, his good friend, Gary Smith.
He had missed Gary, if he were being honest. That didn't make him any less bitter about the things Gary had done to him, but it was still a cemented fact nonetheless. Gary Smith just... felt like his own addiction. Once you were around him once, he wouldn't get out of your head, and you wanted to see him again and again.
So Pete had decided to meet him here.
Of course, Pete wasn't stupid by any means. If Gary showed up acting like he had the last time they met, Pete would end all arrangements here. But Gary had shown... actual remorse. It was more than he had seen from him in a long time.
He just, really hoped it would work out well.
When the time came for him to show, the small bell over the door rang, signifying that someone had entered the coffee shop. Pete lifted his eyes and was immediately faced with the boy he had been crushing on for a good few years now.
Gary Smith, although he looked significantly less Smith(tm) now, his facial features softened but what could only be newfound maturity. Gary's brown eyes scanned the room and landed on him, and Pete swore his heart fell into his throat.
He was just so handsome. It wasn't fair, when Pete was supposed to be angry at his dumbass.
Gary approached the table, a lot less intimidating in his stride but still as confident as ever. The closer he got, the more his face cracked into a grin, sporting the gap in his teeth.
"Petey. Long time, no see!"
Pete couldn't help but smile faintly. "Hey. Go ahead and take a seat."
Gary slid into the table opposite from him and reached over to grab Pete's cup of coffee without warning. "What are you doing?"
"I could ask you the same. That's my coffee, Gare." Pete huffed and watched as Gary froze halfway to putting the cup to his mouth. A red blush spread over his face and he grumbled, setting the cup down.
"Yeah, sure. Don't share then."
"Don't be a dick. And I'm working on my English essay, to answer your question."
"Essays aren't too hard to write as long as you can focus on them."
"Well, yeah." Pete shrugged and looked down at the computer. He knew Gary had pretty much a natural talent at anything academic. "It just takes up a lot of time."
"What's the essay on?"
"The Scarlet Letter. You ever read that book?"
"Duh? Everyone in our grade has read that stupid ass novel. Its notorious for being boring." Gary rolled his eyes and Pete cracked a smile.
"Yeah, it honestly is. Doesn't stop the teacher from assigning it, though."
"Did you get Galloway again?"
"Nah. Got an actual competent teacher who makes us do stuff."
"Oh, I bet Bullworth isn't taking that one well." Gary smirked and leaned forward. He practically radiated smugness. "How has it been, with ol' James Bitchfucker Hopkins there to rule it?"
"You know, you could be nice to him for once instead of insulting him every other sentence." Petey chastised and rolled his eyes.
"Its our dynamic, Peter. Gotta insult him before the weirdos think I'm getting soft on him." Gary laughed. "Now answer the question."
"Yeah, yeah. Bossy." Pete looked at the words on his screen and then sighed, closing his laptop. Seems his work time was over. "Things have calmed down a lot, actually... the cliques all kind of kiss up to Jimmy, and in turn he settles all their disputes for pocket cash before they can get too violent. Its honestly kind of nice?... A lot of people have, uh, come out recently, and Jimmy's been beating up people who make fun of them."
"Come out?" Gary eyed him. Pete wasn't sure if he was making up the accusation in the burning stare or not. "As in...?"
"Gay, of course." Pete's cheeks burned. He almost wished he hadn't brought it up. "Jimmy is - he's bi, you know? He's been talking to a lot of kids who have come to them about their sexuality, like, um, Mandy-"
"Mandy??? The girl who is always clinging to a guy?"
"She doesn't do that anymore. She even talks to the nerds now, sometimes. As in, like, nicely." Pete shrugged and shifted. "She, she came out as a lesbian."
"What the hell." Gary furrowed his brow. "Did Jimmy put queer shit in the water?"
"Gary, don't say that, its rude. And no, Jimmy just..." Pete chewed his bottom lip and smiled. "He's supportive."
Gary pursed his mouth into a tight frown and Pete narrowed his eyes, his smile falling. "If you say something homophobic, I will cut you."
"Jesus, Pete, I leave you alone for a year and a half and you turn into the sass master. No, I wasn't going to say anything homophobic." He scoffed and turned his head to the side, purposefully ignoring Pete. Pete felt his cheeks burn.
"Okay, well, I just - wanted to make sure. Since, you know. I'm bisexual."
Gary snapped his head around to stare at Pete, and Pete felt his cheeks grow darker. "Stop looking so surprised. You already suspected it."
"I thought - I didn't - what?"
"Weren't you the one to call out the fact that I stared at boys for too long, repeatedly, for years?"
"I never thought you'd actually admit to it."
"Yeah, well, I wouldn't have if I'd had stayed around you." Pete said, coming off colder than he meant to. When Gary's face fell, he blushed and put his hands up. "I- shit, I didn't mean it like that, don't get upset. I just... you weren't the most accepting, Gary. I needed someone who would be so that I could experiment without feeling dirty."
Gary stared at him and then glanced out the window, huffing and setting his face in a tight line. "Yeah, okay. I get it. You don't have to explain."
"So... are you okay with it?"
"Obviously." Gary turned a glare at him, looking annoyed at the implications, and Pete smiled softly.
"Cool."
-
The two boys fell into a familiar routine after that, with Gary visiting the coffee shop after class on Wednesday to talk. On weekends, when he had nothing to do, he would call up Pete or Jimmy - sometimes even both of them - and they'd walk along the train tracks, talking as they relaxed in the quiet wilderness.
It was nice.
-
February, 2009.
"So I was like, dude, can you shut up already and give me the dang pencil? I don't care if it has MLP on it."
Gary snorted. "Is it really that surprising that Trent was into MLP?"
"No! That's why I didn't give a shit!" Pete laughed from beside him, and Gary couldn't help the chuckle that escaped him. Pete's laughter was infectious.
Their shoes made crunching noises on the gravel as they walked along the train track. They had been walking like this for a good twenty minutes as they caught up on their week.
"Valentine's Day is coming up." Gary mused. "Do you have a date?"
"Who? Me? Pete Kowalski, the quiet kid? Please." Pete chuckled softly, but it sounded sad more than anything.
"Hey, I wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt." Gary teased and gently shoved him. "Do you have anyone you want to date?"
"What, like a crush?"
"Yeah."
"Well..." Pete hesitated.
"You do have someone." Gary grinned as Pete returned to his side. "Who is it? Don't tell me its MLP boy."
"Trent? Ew, no. I'm not Jimmy, man."
"Is it Jimmy?"
"What?"
"Is it Hopkins?" Gary rose an eyebrow. Pete blinked, seeming caught off guard.
"No, of course not. I mean, Jimmy is cool and all, but..." Pete shrugged and glanced away. "I just, like someone else."
"Who, then?"
"Why do you want to know so bad?"
"Because I'm curious. Bite me."
"Curiosity killed the cat."
"Satisfaction brought it back. Just tell me, Pete, please?"
"I..." Pete stopped abruptly and Gary turned, alarmed as a frown made its way on Pete's face. "I don't want to talk about it, okay?"
Well, that's not weird at all. Gary let his eyes roll up and down Pete's figure, reading his body language (which screamed I'M SAD! in all caps), and then sighed. "Okay."
"Thanks." Pete smiled softly.
Gary wondered just why it bothered him so much in the days to follow.
-
Gary finished his junior year assignments and started his senior year courseload, feeling a lot happier now that he was in the proper grade level, even if he was behind by a small margin.
Despite that, his thoughts were mostly on one person: Pete.
For some reason, it bothered him knowing that Pete had a crush. Especially one that he wouldn't tell Gary about.
It felt like... this strange mix of anger, worry, and sad that Gary wasn't quite able to process.
Mostly because it felt an awful lot like jealousy, and he was not going to be jealous over Pete Kowalski, especially considering that had even deeper implications such as the idea that he might not be as heterosexual as he once thought.
Not that he had ever been attracted to girls, which... honestly, confused him more. Did that mean he was gay? But it couldn't. He hadn't ever been attracted to anyone except Pete. Maybe he wasn't... anything. Maybe he was just Gary.
Did sexuality have to be as labeled as Pete and Jimmy's? And, fuck, why was he even considering this in the first place, he so totally did not have a crush on Pete because he was NOT jealous.
A loud snap brought him out of his thoughts, and he realized he had broken his pencil. Fuck.
-
March, 2009.
February passed with little to offer. Valentine's Day found Gary wandering Bullworth Vale - Pete said he didn't feel like leaving the house, and Jimmy had a date. Overall, it was uneventful, except for the fact that Gary couldn't stop thinking about Pete.
Spring break would be coming up, the first week of April. Jimmy had suggested that they go camping by the train tracks. Gary had agreed, trying to ignore the pounding of his heart when he thought of Pete being there, sharing a tent with him.
-
April, 2009.
"Tent building is hard." Gary breathed out heavily as he leaned across a nearby tree.
"Lazy ass." Jimmy passed him with some firewood in his arms, hitting Gary lightly over the head. Gary rose an arm to shove his hand away.
"Shut up. Pete's complaining too." Gary pouted.
"Pete's different." Jimmy passed said boy, who was sitting on a treestump, and gave him a friendly smile. Gary felt jealousy pulse through his veins.
Okay, so he had accepted he was jealous. But that didn't mean anything. So.
"Pete's a loser." Gary retorted and playfully smirked at the boy, who rolled his eyes.
They had spent the first hour or so setting up camp before the sun went down. It had made two out of three of them tired, with Jimmy being unable to feel exhaustion ever.
As Jimmy began to build the campfire, Gary moved from the tree he was leaning against to settle next to Pete. His heart beat hard in his chest as their knees brushed.
"So, little Petey, are you ready for a night with the creepypastas?" Gary teased and shoved him lightly.
"Shut up. Its bad enough that you've been trying to get me into them without mentioning them here." Pete huffed at him, putting one hand up to shove his face away. Gary laughed, ignoring the tingle that ran through his skin where Pete's hand made contact.
"They're fun! Come on, your gay ass can't tell me you don't find at least one of them attractive."
"They kill people!"
"So?"
Pete opened his mouth to respond, then seemed to think better of it, pouting instead. "Shut up."
Gary felt his face slip into a familiar grin. He let his eyes trail over Pete's face as the boy turned away to watch Jimmy, taking in his soft brown eyes. When he smiles he gets dimples...
He felt a burning stare pierce through him, and slowly turned his head to see Jimmy giving him a knowing look with a raised eyebrow. Gary felt panic shoot through him, but externally he kept his face in the same grin.
"Done yet, James?"
Jimmy studied him curiously and then looked back at the fire. "Yeah. Should be enough for the night."
"I brought stuff for smores." Pete smirked and moved away from Gary. He tried not to be disappointed at the distance.
"Hell yeah, we like, gotta roast marshies. That's the first fuckin' rule of camping." Jimmy smirked and sat down by the fire. The sun wasn't down yet, but it was steadily approaching the horizon - it would be sunset soon.
"Marshies?" Pete laughed. "Are you in grade school?"
"Hey, don't diss my flow. Marshies are the bomb, man."
"You're so weird." Gary rolled his eyes and Jimmy shrugged.
They spent the next few minutes unpacking the food, preparing to make dinner. The campsite they had picked out had a grill nearby, and Pete had brought burgers for them all to eat. Jimmy lit the grill and left Pete to cook as Gary stayed by the fire just a little ways off.
"Hey." Jimmy greeted, his voice quiet as he sat down next to Gary, moving to rest his hands on his knees. "I need to talk to you."
"What is it?" Gary rose an eyebrow. "Does Pete need help with something?"
"Nah, that little dude's got it all figured out. I was gonna grill but he insisted. He's had a fascination with cooking ever since his parents decided he was old enough to touch the stove." He chuckled and shrugged.
"Then what?" Gary pulled his knees to his chest, eyeing Jimmy out of the corner of his eye suspiciously.
"Look, man. I don't want to pry, since I know it isn't any of my buisness, but... I see the way you and Pete look at each other."
Gary felt his blood run cold, and he turned his head to look at his friend. "I don't know what you're-"
"Earlier you spent like fifteen seconds staring at his face man, you were practically swooning like a stupid schoolgirl. Its so blatantly obvious that you like him."
"I..." Gary was at a loss for words, panic rising up in his chest. "No, no no no I-"
"I'm not going to tell him or anything." Jimmy held his hands up. "I just want to say... if you mess up with him again, I'm gonna have to kick your ass, alright? So, don't."
"What?" Gary breathed out. No, no no, it can't be that obvious. I thought I was hiding it better than this, I can't like Pete, I can't.
"I'm rooting for the two of you. You two deserve to he happy and its obvious he likes you back, so..." Jimmy shrugged and then furrowed his brow. "Are you okay?"
Gary realised then that he was hyperventilating. "What? Yeah."
"Gary, man, take it easy." Jimmy reached out, hesitated an inch away from him, and then gently allowed his fingers to snag around Gary's wrist once he was allowed. "Look at me. Focus on my hand. Breathe in, breathe out."
Gary took in a deep breath, letting himself focused on the calloused feel of Jimmy's hand around his wrist. He released his breath, and looked at Jimmy. Breathe in, breathe out. Repeat.
When he was calm enough, Jimmy let him go and nodded awkwardly. "You good?"
"Yeah." Gary muttered, embarrassment pooling in the pit of his stomach.
"So did I assume right?..." Jimmy murmured, keeping his voice low. Gary nodded, looking into the fire. The heat coming off of it soothed him.
"Really? Does that mean you're gay?"
"I... have no idea?" He could feel his face flushing. "Look, don't tell him, okay? I've only figured it out recently-"
"Recently? You've been looking at him like he's your princess ever since you came back into our lives."
"Don't tease me Hopkins, okay? Fuck you. I was in denial about it, it isn't every day that I actually like someone, let alone like them in that way."
"Yeah, yeah, you're an emotionless robot, we get it." Jimmy rolled his eyes. "I won't tell him. But you should. He likes you back, I can tell."
Did he? Gary pursed his lips together and stared into the fire, choosing not to comment. But why would he?
He spent the rest of the night in bewilderment as they roasted "marshies," told horror stories, and eventually went to sleep in the tent. It was weird, sleeping beside Pete with the revelation he had just been presented, and he tried very hard not to freak out.
Eventually, morning came, and Gary got up, groggy from anxious sleep. They had to pack up and then they'd be heading back.
He really, really hated the disappointment he felt because of that.
-
May, 2009.
Gary decided that emotions were not something he was very strongly suited for.
He had been avoiding Pete, unsure how to feel about his conversation with Jimmy. Part of him still did not want to accept that he was capable of a crush, let alone a crush on a guy. (God, his father would be so pissed). The other part of him wanted to accept it and let go, because Pete was cute and smart and kind and... well, Pete.
As the month went on, Gary found himself missing Pete more and more. It was easy to cancel plans under the guise of schoolwork, but it was becoming excessive. And, well...
Maybe it was time for him to admit to himself that yeah, he was queer. He wasn't sure of the proper term (gay? bi? who knows) but he knew he was LGBTQ+ of some origin. And...
Well, Jimmy had given him a vote of confidence. Maybe he should just go for it.
He held off for a few weeks, but Gary was never one to deny himself what he really wanted. And he wanted Petey to look at him, more than anything.
He decided that he'd have to do this. It was time. And, readying himself, he began to devise a plan.
-
Pete had a burning frustration for all days dedicated to couples. He had always wanted to be a part of a relationship. It wasn't that he hated being single; he just... wanted to know what that connection was like. And, well, he also wanted to like someone that was actually obtainable for once.
Because of this, he tended to lock himself in his dorms during those days. And, here he was once again, in his dorm.
It was Prom Night, and Peter Kowalski had bought a new book to read to distract himself from the painful torture that is Being Single.
A knock on the door distracted him from Pip's adventure into newfound wealth. He stood up and went to answer it, curiousity pumping through him. Jimmy was the only one who ever came to his dorm, but Jimmy had told him he had a date tonight.
He opened the door to find Gary Smith there, a grin on his face and a suit in his hand. He was dressed in formal attire of his own, making Pete's heart skip a beat.
That is, until it hit him. "Gary? What are you doing here? You aren't allowed on school property."
Gary shrugged. "It isn't like the Prefects will care anyway. Its prom, Pete."
Okay, he had a point. "Still... do you have a date or something?"
Gary's grin widened. "Yes, actually." Abruptly, he shoved the suit into Pete's hands. "Get changed, we're going out."
"What?" Pete furrowed his brow. "But... what about your date?"
"Do I need to spell it out for you? We're going out. I already bought the suit for you and everything."
It clicked in Pete's head, and he flushed a bright red. "Oh!" He squeaked. "Okay!"
He went back in his room and quickly changed. He had not been expecting this, and part of him was still sure that it was a prank? (If it was, well, he'd deal with it later).
Pete stepped out of his room in the new suit. Gary's eyes scanned down over his body, and Pete flushed red, fidgeting nervously. "Is this... okay?"
"Its perfect." Gary told him, reaching out to grab his hand. Pete could see the faintest traces of red blush on Gary's face. "Let's go."
"Wait." Pete stopped him. Gary turned to him, looking annoyed. "For clarification. Are - are we dating now? Like, um, boyfriends."
Gary narrowed his eyes. "Ugh, that's such a stupid term."
"Well?"
"I guess. If you want to be b-words then I'm here for it." Gary glanced away from him.
Pete broke into a grin. "Okay." He said, very quiet, as happiness settled in his chest.
"Are you ready now?"
"Yeah. Yeah, let's go."